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"Hmm ... I&amp;amp;#8217;m not sure who&amp;#x27;s to blame for this family drama! Writes Save the Date reader Grace: My fiance and I have been together for more than two years. Until about five months ago, his mother, father, and sister always treated me like a member of the family. His mother, in fact, called herself my second mother, and insisted, &amp;amp;#8220;You should call me Mom!&amp;amp;#8221; But about five months ago, they started expressing &amp;amp;#8220;concerns&amp;amp;#8221; with our relationship. I&amp;amp;#8217;ve tried to figure out what I did wrong, but I can&amp;amp;#8217;t come up with anything. After getting the silent treatment for a month, I apologized for whatever it is I may have done to offend them. Our conversation ended with his sister screaming at me, his father making rude comments, and his mother supporting the two of them. The latest debacle: My fiance and I went to check out a church in my hometown, which is 30 minutes from where we live. After we told them where the church was, his mom said, &amp;amp;#8220;I know this is HER wedding, but perhaps you should have a say in SOME things.&amp;amp;#8221; They&amp;amp;#8217;ve called me controlling, snobby and lazy, a liar and a cheater, and they&amp;amp;#8217;ve said I&amp;amp;#8217;m not good enough for my fiance. They almost always criticize me behind my back&amp;amp;#8212;almost never to my face. My fiance defends me every time, but they&amp;amp;#8217;re not backing down. I thought being engaged was going to be one of the happiest times of our life, but instead, it&amp;amp;#8217;s been kind of miserable. I love my fiance and I want us to be happy, but in order for that to happen, something needs to change in our relationship with his family. Is there ANYTHING I can do? Here are my thoughts: I feel like a lot of readers are going to blame the bride in this situation. And while brides can definitely get a little nutty while wedding-planning&amp;amp;#8212;myself included&amp;amp;#8212;I don&amp;amp;#8217;t know that she&amp;amp;#8217;s entirely to blame in this situation. My relationship with my in-laws definitely changed when Rory and I got engaged. His parents wanted a lot of things for our wedding that WE just, well, didn&amp;amp;#8217;t. Rory&amp;amp;#8217;s mom said she pictured us getting married in a hotel ballroom. (We chose a winery.) She thought we should have a kosher-style menu. (We didn&amp;amp;#8217;t.) She assumed a rabbi would marry us. (We asked a friend to.) All of these decisions were mine and Rory&amp;amp;#8217;s but when his parents didn&amp;amp;#8217;t agree with our choices, they blamed me. Still, Grace, even if you&amp;amp;#8217;re not to blame, I think you&amp;amp;#8217;re going to have to be the bigger person here. Like it or not, your husband&amp;amp;#8217;s family is going to be part of your life for the rest of your lives. So you need to try to keep things civil. Since apologizing to the group didn&amp;amp;#8217;t go so well, I&amp;amp;#8217;d try to speak with them face-to-face, one at a time. It seems you and his mom had a great relationship at some point, so I&amp;amp;#8217;d start with her. I&amp;amp;#8217;d ask her to lunch and try saying something like, &amp;amp;#8220;I feel like wedding planning has put a strain on our relationship. I miss how close we used to be, and I&amp;amp;#8217;d like us to be close again. I know I&amp;amp;#8217;ve been wrapped up in everything, but I&amp;amp;#8217;d love to hear your input.&amp;amp;#8221; You don&amp;amp;#8217;t necessarily have to follow your future mother-in-law&amp;amp;#8217;s advice, but I think it will be nice for her if she feels &amp;amp;#8220;heard.&amp;amp;#8221; Hopefully if you can clear things up with her, she&amp;amp;#8217;ll back you up to her husband and daughter. Ladies, what do you think Grace should do? Is there any hope of saving her relationship with her groom&amp;amp;#8217;s family? Have a wedding-y dilemma of your own? E-mail me! More reader&amp;amp;#8217;s dilemmas, solved! * What Would You Do if a Friend Totally Blew Off Your Wedding? * &amp;amp;#8220;Help! My Guy Says He Wants to Marry Me&amp;amp;#8212;But He&amp;amp;#8217;s NOT Saving Up for a Ring!&amp;amp;#8221; * Let&amp;amp;#8217;s Help This Lovely Girl Pick and Engagement Gift for Her Mom! (All Together Now, &amp;amp;#8220;Awww!&amp;amp;#8221;) What&amp;amp;#8217;s With All the Spam in the Comments Section? Sick of all those annoying ads in the comments section lately? So are we! We police the site regularly and delete spam as soon as we can, but recently, the volume of spam has increased dramatically. We&amp;amp;#8217;re working on a way to block it permanently, so please bear with us, and know that we&amp;amp;#8217;re as eager as you are to get rid of these pests. Meanwhile, please continue to use the Report Abuse button to flag spam&amp;amp;#8212;it really does help!&amp;amp;#8212;and continue to leave your brilliant feedback below. If you have any urgent questions about the spam, please contact us. And a special note to you, spammers: We officially declare you a major DON&amp;amp;#8217;T. More Ways to Get Glamour Visit Shopglamour.com for cute stuff starting at just $10! Enter the latest Glamour sweepstakes! 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<http://www.glamour.com/weddings/blogs/save-the-date/2011/03/help-my-grooms-family-has-turn>