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" Carolyn Duff, author of When Women Work Together: Using Our Strengths to Overcome Our Challenges, tells us how to prevent a grudge from ruining a relationship.   First, determine whether the other person really meant to betray you, or if you&amp;#039;re taking it too personally, says Duff. Once you distinguish between a petty grudge caused by an unconscious or unintentional act and legitimate anger due to real betrayal, it will be easier to handle the situation.   Next, separate the action from the person. Forgive the act and then work toward forgiving the person for what she has done.   Often the other person has no idea that he has hurt you, or how. Since grudges can get distorted over time, confront the person and discuss the situation right away, suggests Duff.   Instead of spending hours plotting a nasty revenge, do something to better yourself. &amp;quot;Stop focusing so much energy on what you don&amp;#039;t like about the person who hurt you and use it more positively,&amp;quot; says Duff. &amp;quot;Find a compensating activity or project to fill the space left by the hurtful action.&amp;quot; "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.womansday.com/relationships/family-friends/tips/a3076/let-bygones-be-bygones-21996/>