<http://schema.org/articleBody>
"  Dolls, in honor of ELLE&amp;#039;s luscious Green Issue, I&amp;#039;m reducing the Ask Eeee Column&amp;#039;s eco-footprint. First, I&amp;#039;m putting on two pairs of hemp pajamas and a recycled golf sweater from the &amp;#039;50s. Next, I&amp;#039;m pouring a glass of Chartreuse that&amp;#039;s been distilled from 130 organic French mountain herbs by mute monks and preparing a plate of my cashew-butter-and-banana ozone sandwiches. And finally, I&amp;#039;m turning off my computer, shutting off the electricity to my (little) mountain cabin, and writing this on recycled paper with seaweed ink. Just let me toss some Paul Newman premium non-greenhouse-gassy treats to the dogs. Okay. Ready. Now, let&amp;#039;s rock this planet...   The Woman With No Calling Dear E. Jean: Help me! My love life is in the crap hole. I am 26, just started out as an attorney, and was recently seeing an amazing man. Our dates were remarkably romantic. He was very sweet. But one day he just never called back.  I realized that this is a constant occurrence! Every time I go out with a new guy, the first couple weeks are awesome, and then...they drop off. No explanation, nothing. They&amp;#039;re just gone.  Wrong, my arctic she-wolf : If a chap can&amp;#039;t withstand the fire of your beauty and the breathlessness of your wit, he&amp;#039;s a douche-nozzle. And if in the face of crumbling callbacks you start fretting about being too independent, the very worry will cause desperation and make you appear needy\u2014that&amp;#039;s what the guys are probably picking up on.  But you&amp;#039;re right about one thing, Miss Wrong: Vice President Dick Cheney will enjoy sexual congress with a polar bear before this guy calls you back because of your &amp;quot;success,&amp;quot; &amp;quot;independence,&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;honesty.&amp;quot;  Be yourself. Also, if you wear something pretty, ask him about himself, are intrigued by what he says (i.e., if you employ those arts of torment, subterfuge, and invention you learned as a four-year-old girl, which nobody mentions but which are the very essence of allure), and stop worrying about how &amp;quot;intimidating&amp;quot; you are, then you&amp;#039;ll soon be compelled to double your phone-plan minutes just to take calls from the men phoning you back in spite of your legal-icious triumphs.  P.S. If you&amp;#039;re an adventurous eco-sexual, try Earth Wise Singles (at Ewsingles.com) or GreenSingles (at Greensingles.com).  E-mail your questions to e.jean@askejean.com  What&amp;#039;s in a Name? Dear E. Jean: I met this guy at work. We hated each other, then we became friends, then we started dating, and then I got pregnant (after only three weeks!). I&amp;#039;m due next month. We decided to stay together\u2014actually, for the rest of our lives. We&amp;#039;re having a wedding, but since I&amp;#039;m as big as a beached whale, we&amp;#039;re waiting till after I give birth.  Standing, my harp seal : It is perfectly proper to give the child both of your surnames, as in Prudence Baxter-Heppenstall or Roderick Glossop-Plank. It will prevent your name from dying out and bestow a noble luster upon your offspring.  You may put either surname first, and hyphenate the names if you wish, or style the name without (as in &amp;quot;Camilla Parker Bowles&amp;quot;). I have the hots for the hyphen because when your child grows up and meets another child with a hyphenated surname, they can then marry and bear the illustrious double-double hyphenate (with strong odds of it being the only one like it in the world).  Note: Your chap sounds a bit starchy. I suggest that before the baby arrives you go away together to one of those lively couples&amp;#039; workshop weekends where you learn various strategies for talking, not fighting. And speaking of babies: The best book ever written to help parents detoxify and green their households is Healthy Child Healthy World (Dutton) by Christopher Gavigan, and it&amp;#039;s out now. E-mail your questions to e.jean@askejean.com  The Screamer and the Saint Dear E. Jean:  My boss runs a large family business. He&amp;#039;s generous and smart, but he is a lousy communicator and has a crazy-explosive temper. He&amp;#039;s lost employees because he throws things at us. (He physically went after my sweet husband, who then quit immediately.) Needless to say, when he screams at me it&amp;#039;s humiliating and crushing. The last time he took me outside and shouted at me, I began sobbing uncontrollably. I&amp;#039;m at my wit&amp;#039;s end. I could quit, but you see...  ...He&amp;#039;s my brother, and it&amp;#039;s my family business too. He has a ton of redeeming qualities, but it&amp;#039;s not enough. Help me, E. Jean! My father had the same explosive temper; but now even my parents can&amp;#039;t control him. I&amp;#039;m bright, positive, compassionate, and above all, a patient woman; however, I can&amp;#039;t take much more of this!\u2014Silent Sister Silent, my caribou : I beg your pardon, I hate giving you more pain, but your brother is unstable. It&amp;#039;s a miracle the company\u2014along with the whole family fortune\u2014has not been annihilated by multiple lawsuits from employees who&amp;#039;ve been assaulted/harassed by your brother.  Call the family together and decide the best way of getting him rage rehab\u2014stat! Do not return to the office until your brother has taken the proper steps to get himself under control. If the family or your brother does not act, do not give them power over you to go on inflicting pain. Take a leave of absence. E-mail your questions to e.jean@askejean.com  Lady Love Dear E. Jean:  I&amp;#039;m attractive and have been out as a lesbian for about a year. I&amp;#039;m a member of a matchmaking service for professional gays and lesbians. The dates I went on from the service were not successful. I&amp;#039;ve tried Internet dating.   Ahhhh, Femme, my polar fox : Places you&amp;#039;re missing: PinkSofa.com (dating, chatting, making friends), Facebook.com (hundreds of witty, playful, useful lesbian groups), Treehugger.com (&amp;quot;bike dykes,&amp;quot; vegans, and outdoorsy types rollick in the forums). Then you have your lesbian bars, nightclubs, reading groups, and bookstores; also your sports teams, local farmers&amp;#039; markets, Critical Mass rallies, gay-friendly churches, and the gym. But the best way to meet someone ravishing this year is by volunteering for your presidential candidate (uh, that is, if your nominee is gay-friendly and not afraid to touch the topic with a 10-foot dildo).  Gertrude Stein would strike out\u2014hell, even V. Sackville-West would take off the trousers and stay at home with the husband\u2014if faced with an expensive air-sandwich like a &amp;quot;matchmaking service for professional gays and lesbians.&amp;quot; That said, if you set out to meet absolutely nobody, you couldn&amp;#039;t do a better job of it than sticking with your I-Know-Eggzactly-What-I&amp;#039;m-Looking-For strategy.  Trying to meet the &amp;quot;exact&amp;quot; woman causes you to pass up too many spicy, tender, mischievous, funny, exuberant possibilities (these are the young ladies who&amp;#039;ll end up becoming your friends and later set you up with creatures who are truly delicious). Just look for someone &amp;quot;intriguing&amp;quot; for now; stay loose, woo with wit, laugh at your foibles, open your eyes, and see lots and lots of different people. I wish you hearty good luck!  (Note: Your low-carbon Auntie Eee signing off. Though the dogs have eaten the ozone sandwiches and no &amp;quot;annoying&amp;quot; men are &amp;quot;constantly&amp;quot; hitting on me, I must say that, all in all, the greening of the Ask E. Jean column has been a success. Probably the equivalent of taking two or three hundred thousand cars off the road this year\u2014at the very least.)  E-mail your questions to e.jean@askejean.com "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.elle.com/life-love/ask-e-jean/q-and-a/a9133/ask-e-jean-may-2008-19030/?src=global_footer>