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"I&amp;amp;#8217;d just broken one of my own rules and asked a woman out over email&amp;amp;#8212;but she said yes, so who cares? J. and I had met through friends. She&amp;amp;#8217;d always had a boyfriend, and I&amp;amp;#8217;d always wished she didn&amp;amp;#8217;t, so when I heard she was single, I emailed her, and we made plans to see each other later that week, when she&amp;amp;#8217;d be, as she put it, &amp;amp;#8220;free to really go out.&amp;amp;#8221; But, wait, what did that mean? Did she expect me to provide a crazy good time and take her to a glamorous rooftop party like the ones in the vodka commercials? Did she picture me wearing a tie and knowing how to order caviar? Should I arrange for what I think she might like, or do what I want, or some combination of both? First Issue: The Plan I started by running through my date options. There was the hang date, when you grab a beer and shoot pool and watch the game, just to see if she can relax and have fun. I also considered the alterna-date: a walk through a hipster-y neighborhood, a visit to a flea market or a gallery tour; guys throw this out when they want you to know they&amp;amp;#8217;re sensitive, thinking, artsy&amp;amp;#8212;not your average dude. I toyed with choosing the impress-her date: expensive meal and tough-to-get theater or concert tickets. Men offer these up when we think our window to snag you is limited and we want to, well, impress. And then there&amp;amp;#8217;s the adventure date: a climbing wall, a hidden-gem restaurant in an obscure neighborhood&amp;amp;#8212;both of which are a guy&amp;amp;#8217;s way of telling you, &amp;amp;#8220;I&amp;amp;#8217;m like Anthony Bourdain: an insider, an explorer, never a dull moment. But you&amp;amp;#8217;re safe with me.&amp;amp;#8221; Of course, there&amp;amp;#8217;s also the drinking date, a twentysomething&amp;amp;#8217;s go-to. Reject! When you&amp;amp;#8217;re getting to know someone, booze is the enemy of information retention. (&amp;amp;#8220;You survived a shark attack?! Oh, you already told me that? Sorry.&amp;amp;#8221;) I wasn&amp;amp;#8217;t sure what date I&amp;amp;#8217;d choose, but I knew I wouldn&amp;amp;#8217;t choose that. Next Up: Prep Work I considered what I knew about J. so I could talk about topics she cared about&amp;amp;#8212;her job, politics, J.J. Abrams&amp;amp;#8217; shows&amp;amp;#8212;and avoid the subject I know best: me. The guy who blathers on about his life and doesn&amp;amp;#8217;t ask thoughtful&amp;amp;#8212;or any&amp;amp;#8212;questions (or listen to the answers) is an arrogant blowhard or insecure or both, and I prefer not to come across as either. Finally, I took a look in my closet. (Yes, guys, too, sweat their outfits sometimes.) I didn&amp;amp;#8217;t want to dress like a slob and make her think I didn&amp;amp;#8217;t care enough to try. But I also didn&amp;amp;#8217;t want to try too hard and spend all night fidgeting with my tie. The sweet spot was somewhere between the T-shirt and the suit, but where? At Last: Date Night I decided to swing for the fences and do the impressive-date thing, because J. is a cool, beautiful girl who I figured wouldn&amp;amp;#8217;t stay single for long. I scored us two seats to see War Horse, the hottest play in town, and booked a table at a great Italian place nearby. I wore a jacket, a checked shirt and no tie. The conversation flowed: We joked about our nerdy high school selves, debated which was the best Arcade Fire album and lingered over desserts. After dinner we met my friends at a busy bar and drank and laughed until the DJ stopped playing. Our good night was great: a sweet kiss. Her cab pulled away and left me on the sidewalk imagining the possibilities. The next day, I got a text from J. &amp;amp;#8220;Thx for the great night. U made me laugh so hard.&amp;amp;#8221; And it dawned on me: The restaurant, the tickets, what I wore&amp;amp;#8212;none of it mattered. In the end, the only thing that mattered was that I&amp;amp;#8217;d made her laugh. What does this mean for you? Well, if you spend all your time trying to decode the first-date choices of the guy you&amp;amp;#8217;re with, you may miss all the fun. If he meets you at a bar wearing a hoodie and cords, it may mean he doesn&amp;amp;#8217;t care, or it may mean he feels really comfortable with you&amp;amp;#8230;or it may just mean he needs to do laundry. J. didn&amp;amp;#8217;t read into things too much, and that produced two emotions in me: happiness and worry. Happiness, because I think I may have met my dream girl. Worry, because, well, what do I do for an encore? Any ideas? Jake is a real, live single guy dating in New York City."^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/2011/10/what-a-guy-thinks-during-a-date-with-you-by-jake/1>