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" AGES 14\u201315 It&amp;#039;s Thanksgiving and I just snuck two sips of chardonnay from my aunt&amp;#039;s wineglass and now I am #FLUSHED and will not drink again for a few years! Beer&amp;#039;s gross.   AGE 16 I am soooo drunk from this third of a bottle of Mike&amp;#039;s Hard Lemonade that I might let this boy I secretly actually like but pretend I don&amp;#039;t because he&amp;#039;s short kiss me. Wine and beer are gross. Vodka is fucking disgusting.   AGE 17  I really want beer. Can your big sister get us beer? Well, when does she get OUT of community service? Ugh, that&amp;#039;s not soon enough. This beer shortage is like the Great Depression. Beer&amp;#039;s like liquid gold! ALL I WANT TO DO IS DRINK BEER WITH MY FRIENDS IN THE MOST PERMISSIVE MOM&amp;#039;S BASEMENT! IS THAT SO HARD?   AGE 18 Ooh, is that vodka? Sure, I&amp;#039;ll do a shot once I&amp;#039;m good and drunk. I only drink clear liquor. But I could drink all the beer in the world and not get hungover! I&amp;#039;m just one of those people who doesn&amp;#039;t get hungover! Jealous?! Pick me up and help me do a kegstand! My bones are young and I will live always!   AGE 19 It&amp;#039;s healthy to drink seven vodka-cranberries when all I had at the dining hall was half a salad. Why, you ask? Because vodka is good for my soul, and cranberries are good for my #vagina. Oh, is that a martini? I should be classy and try one.    Ew, never again.   AGE 20 Uggggggghhh, I had liquor before beer and I am NOT in the clear. The Bible lied to me. That rhyme is in the Bible, right? There is no God.   AGES 21\u201322 What? Yeah, I&amp;#039;ll do Jack Daniels shots with you, Hot Guy I&amp;#039;m Trying To Impress! I love whiskey. I&amp;#039;m not one of those girls who drinks, like, &amp;quot;pink drinks,&amp;quot; and is a girl, or whatever. And I&amp;#039;m not one of those girls who gets hammered after, like, three drinks! I can hold my liquor! I&amp;#039;m a Chill Girl! *goes home and throws up*   AGES 23\u201324 I&amp;#039;m so glad I&amp;#039;ve discovered whiskey sours, the non-repulsive way to imbibe amber liquor. But I&amp;#039;ve been thinking \u2014 should I be drinking more wine? Like Gwyneth Paltrow would, or that girl from work who wears a lot of Theory? I&amp;#039;ll give it a shot!   AGES 25\u201326 White wine is everything. It&amp;#039;s so crisp and light! It&amp;#039;s like drinking fresh linen or Zac Efron&amp;#039;s eyeballs.   AGE 27 Ugh, beer makes me feel so bloated, unless it&amp;#039;s a Corona Extra now and then in the summertime. And liquor makes me kinda sad? Or too drunk, too quick? I&amp;#039;m just gonna stick to wine for awhile. I don&amp;#039;t know when it went from affectation to actual true love, but I&amp;#039;m OK with it. Also, I physically cannot do shots anymore.   AGES 28\u201330 Binge-drinking is a young person&amp;#039;s game. Now I get turnt up on one or two glasses of wine at dinner and then curl up in bed to read The Goldfinch.   RELATED: Stages of Partying, By Age What Your Drink Says About You 24 Partying Problems Only Women Understand 11 Things I Wish I&amp;#039;d Known About Partying When I Was Younger   Follow Anna on Twitter.   Photo Credit: Getty "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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