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"Why do I have more fun with my friends than my husband? We used to get silly and let loose but now we just stare at each other. Suggestions? BETH SAYS: My first question is: When you are staring at that guy you married, do you like what you see? If you do, that&amp;#039;s good news, because then what you&amp;#039;re dealing with is a simple case of marital boredom\u2014which is epidemic among those who mate in captivity. After you&amp;#039;ve been together awhile, you think you know exactly what is going on in the other person&amp;#039;s head. But chances are, you don&amp;#039;t. (In this case, you may not realize that he&amp;#039;s been stifling a yawn.) Ask your husband if he has any ideas for the two of you he&amp;#039;s never bothered to divulge because he figured you wouldn&amp;#039;t be up for them. Brainstorm activities to do together (karaoke or tango lessons, perhaps?) that might get you to look at each other in a different way, or at least give you something to talk about. Go out for a local theater production, or have your fortunes read, or maybe stop by that bar with the year-round Christmas lights you used to frequent when you were dating. Since you&amp;#039;ve been missing something you used to share, all you really need to do is reinject that sense of silly back into your relationship. And if an idea bombs? Great! It will give you something to laugh about...together. How do I stop the neighbor next door from constantly telling me how to raise my children? I&amp;#039;ve tried to explain my point of view, but it doesn&amp;#039;t help. BETH SAYS: Ugh. I am irritated on your behalf, and kudos for trying to be nice, but I wouldn&amp;#039;t put too much effort into getting her to see your point of view. When buttinskies give advice, they&amp;#039;re not truly trying to help you or engage in debate so much as make themselves feel important. You can show them every book on the topic, but most of them will still give their two cents, since you are merely an opportunity for them to reaffirm their opinion. My advice? Save your breath for someone who cares about your thoughts. Smile and say, &amp;quot;Why, thank you. That&amp;#039;s an interesting idea. I&amp;#039;ll think about it,&amp;quot; then change the subject. If she persists, tell her in a neutral tone, &amp;quot;Thanks, it&amp;#039;s under control,&amp;quot; and walk away. Since you are not defending or explaining, she&amp;#039;ll have nothing to respond to. My brother lost his job and is having financial difficulties. He wants to borrow a large amount of money. I am not rich and I believe it&amp;#039;s his responsibility to take care of his family. What should I do? BETH SAYS: Are you in a position to help without jeopardizing your own family&amp;#039;s safety net? Could you afford it if he never repaid his loan? If not, offer to help out in other ways\u2014special treats for the kids, babysitting, or maybe dropping off meals with the family. If you do have the money, is there some reason you&amp;#039;re reluctant to loan it to him? Does he have a history of being irresponsible? If so, it&amp;#039;s OK to say no. Ask yourself how you would feel if the money wound up being a gift to your brother. If you&amp;#039;re not comfortable with that, then say so. But if you&amp;#039;re pretty sure this is a one-time problem and that you will be paid back, go ahead, with the following protection: Draw up a legal contract that clearly outlines repayment expectations and allows you to claim the loan on your taxes if he defaults. Spelling it out as a business arrangement may alleviate some of the awkwardness between you and your brother.  BETH LEVINE is a psychology/health writer who wishes she&amp;#039;d take her own advice more often. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.womansday.com/relationships/family-friends/q-and-a/a44858/solutions-for-relationship-issues/>