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" Question My son still wets his bed. I realise that it is hereditary; his father, aunt and grandfather did as well.  My problem is that he soiled his underwear as well as the toilet seat and he does not clean it up.  I don&amp;#039;t know if he is not making it to the toilet in time or just not cleaning himself well. When he wets his bed or soils his underwear and toilet, he does not tell me.  I find out when I am doing laundry or cleaning up. He knows to take off his sheets, but sometimes he leaves it and then sleeps on top of it.  He&amp;#039;ll wear his soiled underwear all day. Is this normal for a 10-year-old?  I get very upset when it happens, not because of the fact that he wets the bed, but that he doesn&amp;#039;t know to tell me and take off the sheets to be washed.  Am I expecting too much? How should I handle this? My seven-year-old is fine and our home is very organised and clean.   Answer As your son&amp;#039;s bedwetting and soiling problems have been going on for so many years I can understand why you are finding it difficult to cope with them.  I suspect your son feels embarrassed and ashamed because he wets the bed and soils himself, which is probably why he doesn&amp;#039;t tell you when it&amp;#039;s happened.  I know it must be extremely difficult to put up with these problems, but try not to show your son how much it upsets you as this will only increase his feelings of guilt and shame.  Try and encourage him to tell you when he&amp;#039;s had an &amp;#039;accident&amp;#039; by praising him when he does and offering him a small reward if, for example, he changes wet sheets consistently for a week.  You are right that bedwetting often runs in families and in these cases the problem will often get better as the child gets older.  However, as your son is now 10 and also has a problem with soiling, I don&amp;#039;t think it&amp;#039;s fair to him or to you to go on putting up with the problem, simply hoping that things may get better over the next few years.  I would advise you to take your son along to see the GP, in order to find out if there is any underlying physical problem that might be contributing to the bedwetting or soiling, and to discuss with the doctor whether referral to a clinic that deals with these kinds of problems would be worthwhile.  Some children who soil themselves do so in response to stress, while in others the soiling is related to constipation.  Other children soil because they have never learned proper bowel control; some of these children have suffered brain or nerve damage (such as cerebral palsy or intellectual handicap), while others may have learning difficulties or problems with aggression.  If there is a simple problem such as constipation, your GP may be able to help sort things out, but if the situation seems more complex the doctor may recommend referral to a special clinic where staff will be able to work with you and your son to try and improve the bedwetting and soiling.  I do hope the problem improves soon &amp;amp;#8211; best of luck with it. Yours sincerely The NetDoctor Medical Team   Other Q&amp;amp;As Are bowel and bladder problems linked? Belly button hernia Constipation in kids Dark stools - could my baby have a food allergy? Does my daughter have piles? Five-year-old wees on the carpet How can I encourage my daughter to do a poo? How can I stop my five year old from soiling herself? I&amp;#039;m concerned about my son&amp;#039;s stools My child is constipated My daughter has started wetting herself during the day My daughter has suffered from tummy pains since she was six My daughter is afraid to go to the loo My daughter is wetting her knickers a lot My daughter keeps passing wind My daughter suffers from stomachaches My daughter wets on the floor My son has a para-umbilical hernia My son has green-tinged stools My son keeps messing his pants My son soils his underwear My son suffers from piles My young son has been complaining of bottom pains Our two-year-old granddaughter has severe constipation Pain when breaking wind Smelly urine What are these worms in my son&amp;#039;s stool? What could be causing my daughter&amp;#039;s tummy ache? What is gastroenteritis and what can be done about it? What shall I do about my daughter&amp;#039;s hernia? Why does my little boy appear to be constipated all the time? Why is my four year old soiling his pants?   Last updated 21.05.2014 "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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