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"Thank goodness for telly and its schedules. A comforting old pal, like clockwork and the weather, every few months the seasons change. Wrap up the old and on to the new. The lack of decent telly has even forced me to adopt a weekend social life for the past few weeks - and I don&amp;#039;t do weekend going out. If you lived near me and saw the reprobates that frequent the local establishments, you&amp;#039;d realise why. So it was goodbye to the icy winter guilty pleasure, Dancing on Ice, for another year, and hello to the spring schedule. Losing an hour of sleep was particularly horrendous to endure, but at least I can now gingerly attempt to bare my milk bottle legs and wear the new pair of Ray-bans I&amp;#039;ve been dying to show off. Note to self - really must get a pedicure before I go public in sandals. I digress. Thanks to the welcoming in of spring, finally the dry spell of &amp;#039;water cooler&amp;#039; telly returned in the shape of a quadruple whammy. Batting for the Beeb, we had Sport Relief and the much hyped and uber pricey (\u00C2\u00A322m) The Voice, while over on ITV, the return of Britain&amp;#039;s Got Talent, followed by Julian &amp;#039;Downton Abbey&amp;#039; Fellowes&amp;#039;s also much-publicised take on the Titanic disaster. Sport Relief dominated Friday night and even if you did have a social life, you&amp;#039;d be hard pushed to NOT catch some of the presenter-thon over the course of the evening - I&amp;#039;m pretty sure it ran into the Teletext slot. I joke. As always a terrific cause and for anyone not to be moved by the heart-wrenchingly sad and graphic VTs would be worrying.   &amp;gt; Sport Relief raises over \u00C2\u00A350 million as night closes  It was thanks to John Bishop&amp;#039;s heartfelt, tear-stained plea (and perhaps the wee glass of vino I&amp;#039;d had) that I picked up the phone (again) and donated more money. And the sight of Patrick Kielty in a skin tight, budgie smuggling, red swimming costume was enough to make me text (again) in a plea to make him cover up - there were children watching! Seriously though, a brilliant effort from all involved and the millions raised is, as always, a great testament to the generous people in our country. Due to the joys of Sky +, there was no 20-minute show overlap for me, so first up in the Saturday schedule: The Voice UK. I watched with intrigue to see if there really IS any talent left in the UK post several series of The X Factor on the rival channel. The series kicked off with a bang as the judges - sorry, the COACHES - opened the show as a quartet with their interpretation of will.i.am&amp;#039;s &amp;#039;I Gotta Feeling&amp;#039;. I couldn&amp;#039;t imagine Dannii Minogue or Cheryl Cole ever even contemplating doing the same... and lets&amp;#039; not even go there with Louis Walsh!  A good start, I thought. For those not familiar with the format, or unable to decipher what exactly The Voice - clue&amp;#039;s in the title - could possibly mean, a nice little explanation VT told us &amp;#039;how it works&amp;#039;. In a nutshell, hitting back at an image obsessed industry, it doesn&amp;#039;t matter if you have a &amp;#039;face for radio&amp;#039;, should lay off the cream cakes for a bit, or even if you&amp;#039;re the most visually marketable yet under-average singer - Frankie Cocozza anyone? - this show is all about The Voice. In essence, a politically correct X Factor The other difference to most talent show formats is the shift of power turning to the contestants should they get a coach to turn around. At first, it was quite amusing and refreshing to see will.i.am, Jessie J, Tom Jones and Danny O&amp;#039;Donoghue in various combinations, begging for the overawed artist to join &amp;#039;their team&amp;#039;. But six or so artists in, along with the lack of any commercial break to serve up a tempting &amp;#039;join us after the break&amp;#039; teaser - and the chance for a loo break - the show began to feel very laborious, repetitive and long. &amp;gt; The Voice teams in full: Who picked who? The first half was a belter, I was enjoying the predictable profile VT&amp;#039;s and the serving up of promising talent such as guitar strumming 17-year-old Jessica from Belfast and Adam Isaac. We even got a surprise &amp;#039;celebrity&amp;#039; contestant in Sean Conlon from 90s boyband 5ive (not the rapper one, or Billie Piper&amp;#039;s teen heartthrob... one of the other three). Despite banging on in his VT about not wanting to be known from his 5ive days, the first thing Sean, after getting no interest from the judges, tells them is, &amp;quot;I used to be in the boyband 5ive&amp;quot;. Awkward.    Clearly embarrassed for him, Jessie J attempting to soften the blow by admitting a 5ive gig was her first ever as a kid just served to make the whole experience even more cringeworthy. From a screaming pre-pubescent fan to holding his career in the palm of her hand - that&amp;#039;s showbiz. On the plus side, the years have been kind Sean, you are indeed the emerging swan from the fivesome. No doubt we&amp;#039;ll see you on I&amp;#039;m a Celebrity or Strictly Come Dancing this year as a consolation prize. My favourite cringe moment in ages was will.i.am thinking he&amp;#039;d been chosen by young Adam Isaac as his coach... only to have jumped in a bit early on the celebration as Adam continued to say he was choosing Welsh lothario Tom Jones instead. Properly mugged off was poor Will, but that didn&amp;#039;t deter him in his constant desperation to impress every contestant into his team. So bad did the name dropping and ego stroking get from Will and Tom in particular, with their Michael Jackson and Elvis Presley anecdotes respectively, that I had to forward through their bilge to hear the rest of the acts.  After 80 minutes of this new Saturday night offering, there is no doubt that this is Jessie J&amp;#039;s moment to shine. Easily the most popular coach with contestants and viewers alike, she&amp;#039;ll be cleaning up with the winning act then jumping ship to Simon Cowell&amp;#039;s next juggernaut before you know it. You mark my words.   So it was over to the new series of Britain&amp;#039;s Got Talent. I&amp;#039;ll be honest, I wasn&amp;#039;t sure what to expect after endless headlines and industry hype, but watching the opening episode on my sofa I have just one verdict - a total triumph.  From Ant and Dec&amp;#039;s &amp;#039;Don&amp;#039;t Stop Me Now&amp;#039; flashmob opener to Simon Cowell&amp;#039;s camp movie star-esq return holding a pep talk with his new team of judges stating that &amp;quot;We all take it in turns&amp;quot; (to be understood as, &amp;quot;it&amp;#039;s MY show, I&amp;#039;M in charge&amp;quot;), the competition romped on with its familiar mix of tears, laughter and put downs. Ant and Dec were on terrific form as ever - do they ever wane?! - and some proper &amp;#039;laugh out loud&amp;#039; moments were served up from host, judges and contestants alike.  &amp;gt; Britain&amp;#039;s Got Talent winning YouTube battle with The Voice UK &amp;gt; Simon Cowell on Voice UK clash: &amp;#039;BBC needs to get a sense of humour&amp;#039;   Particular favourites included the roller skater who chucked his girlfriend into the wings by accident, German Dennis Egle&amp;#039;s bizarre winged angel performance - his wing hanging limply to one side followed by Ant making the whole situation so much worse by breaking it even more had me in tears - &amp;#039;Barbara and Bradley&amp;#039;s&amp;#039; hilariously rubbish poetry and dance combination, David Walliams flirting and winding Simon up at every opportunity and, of course, Simon&amp;#039;s famous put downs - Britain&amp;#039;s Got Talent is back! As well as the amusing (for not all the intended reasons) acts, we of course had a couple of early &amp;#039;final&amp;#039; frontrunners, firstly served up in the shape of Welsh choir Only Boys Aloud. With the success of the Military Wives Choir going from strength to strength, you could see the ol&amp;#039; wily &amp;#039;dollar&amp;#039; sign in Simon&amp;#039;s eyes come to life during the schoolboys&amp;#039; superb vocal performance. And of course, we got our water cooler moment - of the entire series I reckon - in Jonathon Antoine and Charlotte Jaconelli.   After they walked on stage together like a poor man&amp;#039;s Hurley and Kate from Lost, first reactions from a grumpy Simon were certainly not encouraging. A stumble at the beginning, and &amp;#039;cue the moment of the night&amp;#039;, as we say move over Paul Potts and SuBo, this young lad really is something else.  I only hope his endearing, and also talented, singing partner Charlotte can keep up with what is likely to happen to this shy 17-year-old. Simon&amp;#039;s rather harsh fears for her holding him back are yet to be seen, but I&amp;#039;ve a feeling we&amp;#039;re about to witness another of Cowell&amp;#039;s global success stories. BBC take note - this lad really IS The Voice. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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