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"It&amp;#x2019;s a Duck slam-dunk! Well, nearly. Inside the Duck Commander warehouse, Uncle Si and Jase Robertson are shooting hoops with buddies Godwin and Martin. After Si takes a shot that nails Godwin below the belt, Jep struts in wearing &amp;quot;fancy shoes,&amp;quot; ready to show them how it&amp;apos;s done.\r\nWhile Jep bounces around in his bizarre sneakers -- they look like there&amp;apos;s a spring under the ball of the foot -- Jase explains, &amp;quot;Every once in awhile, Jep gets all fired up about something he bought online.&amp;quot;\r\nAnd he sure is excited, muttering about how he&amp;#x2019;s gonna show off his Michael Jordan moves: &amp;quot;I&amp;apos;m fixin&amp;apos; to jump out this building&amp;#x2026;.&amp;quot; Which, of course, is the opposite of what happens. Missed dunk after airball after complete whiff, Jep never even grabs the net. And in true Robertson form, he gets razzed incessantly. Says Si, &amp;quot;Don&amp;apos;t quit your day job, short stuff.&amp;quot;\r\n\r\nThe next day, they regroup - with CEO Willie and his wife, Korie -- at the termite-infested warehouse. While it&amp;apos;s fumigated, the guys will escape to Godwin&amp;apos;s. Before Willie can head out too, Korie reminds him he promised to speak at Miss Kay&amp;apos;s &amp;quot;Golden Sixties&amp;quot; group. &amp;quot;Naturally, my mom wants to show off her successful, charming son to all her friends,&amp;quot; Willie says confidently&amp;#x2026;until one by one, the other guys chime in: &amp;quot;Oh, Golden Sixties? I&amp;#x2019;ve gone to that.&amp;quot; &amp;quot;Me too.&amp;quot; Godwin even got to bring home a casserole!\r\nHumbled, Willie arrives at the church fellowship hall for the meeting. Rows of white-haired ladies sit at attention as Miss Kay introduces him to the group: &amp;quot;This is my son Willie. He&amp;apos;s got dimples under that beard.&amp;quot;\r\nAt this point, Miss Kay tells Willie he needs to go pick up food for the luncheon with one of the women, a silver-haired lady named Carla. (Miss Kay says in the confessional that she&amp;apos;s trying to help Willie make more friends.) Before they leave, Carla, who insists on driving, digs a piece of unwrapped hard candy out of the bottom of her purse for him.&amp;#xA0;As Willie observes, &amp;quot;Out of the packaging, that&amp;apos;s awesome&amp;#x2026; I&amp;apos;m going to save this for after lunch.&amp;quot;\r\n\r\nLater, in Carla&amp;apos;s granny-mobile, they bounce off curbs as she regales him with constant commentary: &amp;quot;I want to tell you about my cats&amp;#x2026; I had polio as a child&amp;#x2026; I had pneumonia 11 times.&amp;quot;\r\nIn the confessional, he says, &amp;quot;The only thing worse than taking a drive through West Monroe with Carla, is taking a trip down memory lane with Carla.&amp;quot;\r\nMeanwhile, the guys are at Godwin&amp;apos;s house, sucking down Flav-o-pop popsicles and testing duck calls. Si, bored with work, pokes under the dining table and discovers an unopened box from a law office. He opens it.\r\nSi: &amp;quot;Did you have an uncle Reuben Godwin?&amp;quot; Godwin: &amp;quot;Yup.&amp;quot; Si: &amp;quot;Not anymore, he died.&amp;quot; Martin: &amp;quot;Si has a way of breaking it to you easy.&amp;quot;\r\nInside the box is the greatest of hillbilly wonders: a Jackalope! For those outside the South, a Jackalope is a mythical creature, a jackrabbit with deer antlers or antelope horns. Si imparts his wisdom: &amp;quot;He&amp;apos;s got thick fur and when it&amp;apos;s wet, he&amp;apos;s bulletproof&amp;#x2026; I&amp;apos;m going to tell you, that is worth some money.&amp;quot; Obviously, this calls for a trip to the taxidermist to get it appraised.\r\n\r\nAt the taxidermist&amp;apos;s, Jep&amp;apos;s distracted by a ram with the largest pair of you know what, perfectly preserved. &amp;quot;I may not know much about taxidermy, but I know good workmanship,&amp;quot; he claims, while the other guys come over to ogle.\r\nThe Jackalope verdict: It&amp;apos;s worth about $50. It would be worth more with testicles. So Godwin decides to keep the stuffed critter for sentimental value.\r\nBack at the Golden Sixties, Willie delivers the casserole to his mother, who promptly places it on top of a STACK of casseroles. (In one of their rare moments of family discord, Willie is shocked that she put him through the ordeal when there were ample casseroles already there. Miss Kay simply gives him a death stare.)\r\nA blazer-clad Willie stands behind a podium to address the ladies. (His nametag says BILLY.) As he lectures 70-year-olds on long-term business goals, Willie quickly realizes it&amp;apos;s not resonating.\r\nAt the warehouse, Jep prepares to redeem himself. (From the sidelines, Godwin pets the Jackalope, which he&amp;apos;s named Benjamin Bunny.) He runs, jumps&amp;#x2026; and dunks it! And rolls an ankle.\r\nImmediately, the Robertson posse harasses him for lowering the rim a few feet when they were out. &amp;quot;You&amp;apos;re only five feet tall,&amp;quot; Si hollers. (Jep protests he&amp;apos;s actually 5&amp;apos;9&amp;quot;.) &amp;quot;You should get some steroids. Come into the real world, you&amp;apos;re five foot tall and you&amp;apos;ll never dunk unless you get a shot in the butkus.&amp;quot;\r\nBut as always, the entire family gather &amp;apos;round for a hearty meal (likely leftover casserole!) and all is well for another week of life within the Robertson clan."^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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