title: Insert ... on duplicate key update nothing using MySQL
body: <p>My problem is that I have multiple unique keys on a table.</p>
  
  <ol>
  <li>Insert ignore is not an option because it suppresses the errors.</li>
  <li>MySQL has no support for any type of conditionals outside a statement (ex. if (cond) then insert else don't insert)  </li>
  <li>Stored procedures are not an option (the only place I can use the if/else statements)  </li>
  <li>On duplicate key might update a key with a new value, but I want the unique keys not to change in case one fails the unique constraint.  </li>
  </ol>
  
  <p>So the only option would be on duplicate just don't update anything. Is there any way I can achieve this? Or are there any other options?  </p>