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From the long list of manga I read and anime I watched, especially in romance
genre, including romance comedy, harem, etc, being a virgin has been depicted
as something bad, especially a male virgin. Many of them have the virgin guy
pretending that he is not. When his close friend, who happens to know that he
is a virgin, blurted about the fact, he was seen embarrassed as if being a
virgin is something bad despite them being High School Students. Another even
said that if you are a virgin until 30 then you will become a wizard (IIRC it
was Haganai).

Why is it that anime and manga depict being a virgin as something
embarrassing? Does this reflects the Japanese society, mainly the teens?


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culture
Why is it that many anime and manga depict being a virgin male as something embarrassing?


Sex is an important part of human life, as each life usually starts with
somebody having it. People like discussing it because it's pleasurable. And
there are other things comparable in popularity, like drinking alcohol with
friends, going to parties, cursing and swearing (especially for kids) and
other less legal or healthy activities, like taking drugs.

Often when people express their concerns about feeling embarrassed that they
don't do one of those activities as often as their surrounding, they say that
it is such a common topic of discussion that even if they didn't initially
think it was something to be embarrassed about, after some time they started
to think they are less of a person for not doing it too.

This is a common response for people when they're being told something again
and again − they start doubting themselves and whether they should change what
they do. And so, this isn't unique to Japan or the teens. People of all ages
and nationalities are susceptible to peer pressure about most things, given
enough time.

One might get the impression that this is mainly an issue for teens in Japan
because anime tends to depict topics that might hit close to home for certain
target audiences better than others using the characters who are worried about
the same things as the target audience. For example, you don't often see anime
marketed for very young children in which adults are discussing complex issues
of marriage and dealing with personal issues and trauma.


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The media depicts being a virgin as embarrassing because it reflects how
teenagers feel about being a virgin. As for why authors choose to reflect this
particular part of society, that would be a bigger discussion. The short
answer is to evoke empathy from their audience.

This is not exclusively a Japanese thing. A study cited in [Psychology
Today](https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200305/peer-pressure-and-teen-
sex) found:

> One in three boys ages 15-17 say they feel pressure to have sex, often from
> male friends. Teen girls feel less pressure--only 23 percent said they felt
> such coercion. Researchers questioned 1,854 subjects between the ages of 13
> and 24 in a national survey.

This is an American study, so it may be different in other countries, but
probably not significantly so. This excludes regions where the
religion/government censures sex.

Some reasons teens receive this peer pressure is the common belief that:

  * everyone their age does it 
    * due to media
    * due to pressure from friends
    * due to pressure from partners
  * having sex is cool
  * having sex makes you popular
  * having sex proves "love"
  * having sex proves maturity
  * having sex proves you're not gay

Most people in the western world would proabably be very familiar being
pressured with these reasons.


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in japan specifically, the population is on the decline. their census has
detected lower reproductive rates for the population, leading to problems.
<http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-30653825> google reports: 1.41 births per
woman (2012)

clearly, 2 people having 1.41 children is not sustainable for a country.

japanese culture is such that nobody leaves before the boss, and the boss has
to maintain respectability by staying long hours. this essentially means there
is little time to consider raising a family. the government has addressed this
by attempting to allot time away from work to allow conjugal visits.
furthermore, the media is encouraged to promote reproductive efforts ableit
with heavy censorship (due to the conservative culture).


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