interpretation of 自分まで


> そのときの俺は、子供なりのつたない言葉で、自分まで父親を見捨てるわけにはいかない、とかなんとかのことを言った。

At that time, in a childish way, I said something along the lines of I can't
abandon my father.

Normally まで is following some action or description, but in this case:

自分 _まで_ 父親を見捨てるわけにはいかない = I can't abandon my father _(i'm not such a person)
?_




Let's break the sentence into parts:

> 自分まで父親を見捨てるわけにはいかない

Sentence structure: [subject] + [まで] + [noun] + [を] + [ru-verb] + [わけ] + [に] +
[はいけない (changed to はいかない)]

自分 (jibun) = [noun] oneself (including myself), this subject has similar trait
like 私 has

[まで (made)](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E3%81%BE%E3%81%A7) = [particle]
until, up to, even (when used after a subject)

父親 (chichi oya) = [noun] father

を (o) = direct object/straightforward particle

見捨てる (misuteru) = [transitive -ru verb] abandon, leave

わけにはいかない (wake ni haikanai) = [particle] strong (or "extreme") version of
ーてはいけない used with -ru verb, means something that must not be done at all

Note that "まで" in "自分まで" here doesn't used to mention "until myself", it's
more proper with "even myself", or just simpler "myself". So that the sentence
literally have this meaning:

> (Even) myself must not leave my father (at all times).

To fit with situation in entire sentence, it modified to this form:

> I can't abandon my father (at all).

