When speaking openly with a group of people, is it okay to speak casually with some and formally with others?


Say that I'm having lunch with my buddy outside, and my boss comes over and
starts talking to me. Obviously, with my boss, I'll talk with proper keigo and
stuff. But in front of my boss, am I allowed to talk directly to my buddy with
full-blown tameguchi, or is that considered impolite?

For example, say my buddy was teasing me in front of my boss with something
like "____は相変わらず不器用ですか" ("Is _____ still clumsy as always?"). Am I allowed to
retort at my buddy with things like "何いってんだお前" (the hell you on about) and
"うっせお前" (shut your ass), or would it be considered rude to talk like that in
front of my boss, even if the language isn't directed at my boss?




In such a situation, it's basically okay to use casual language with your
friends, but if your boss is listening, you probably don't want to say
anything too dirty or slangy (of course, the same is true when you're talking
in English). In your specific case, うっせお前 would be considered a short
tsukkomi, so it is more likely to be tolerated, but in general, adults may
temporarily refrain from using お前. If there is a really important person or if
you are attending a very formal ceremony, it is not strange for friends to
begin speaking to each other in keigo.




In such a situation, it's basically okay to use casual language with your
friends, but if your boss is listening, you probably don't want to say
anything too dirty or slangy (of course, the same is true when you're talking
in English). In your specific case, うっせお前 would be considered a short
tsukkomi, so it is more likely to be tolerated, but in general, adults may
temporarily refrain from using お前. If there is a really important person or if
you are attending a very formal ceremony, it is not strange for friends to
begin speaking to each other in keigo.

