What does '家に、とてもおしゃべりですが、学校に、ぜんぜん話しません' translate to?


I'm trying to translate the sentence 'at home, she's very talkative but at
school, she never talks/is very shy' roughly into Japanese. Does
'家に、とてもおしゃべりですが、学校に、ぜんぜん話しません' make sense? If not, how should I reword it?




  * As a place marker, you have to use で instead of these two に. に is used with motion verbs (such as 行く, 来る, 動く) and verbs that describes existence (such as いる, ある, 住む). See: [Particles: に vs. で](https://japanese.stackexchange.com/q/60/5010)
  * This is a typical case where [contrastive- _wa_](https://jlptbootcamp.com/2012/02/japanese-particles-the-contrastive-wa/) has to be used.
  * I think there are a bit too many commas, although this is a minor problem.

Corrected version:

> （彼女は）家 **では** とてもおしゃべりですが、学校 **では** ぜんぜん話しません。

