How to say "What the f**k am I doing here?"


How to say "What the fuck am I doing here?"  
I came up with two versions for the above question.

  1. ここ一体何をやっているよ。
  2. ここ何をマジやっているかよ。




  1. ここ means "this place" and it needs a locative marker で to mean "here" when it's combined with the predicate やっている.
  2. You can't use the form of a non-noda form followed with よ for interrogative sentences apart from slang. 
  3. …かよ doesn't stand for a simple question but a rhetoric question to actually deny it.
  4. 何をマジやっている has two objects of 何 and マジ. You need some particle when you use マジ adverbially, aside from some slangy usages.

So, you might want, for example, ここで一体何やって(る)んだ、俺、マジで, or …何やってるんだよ
(interrogative noda form with よ), which expresses blame rather than really
asking.




  1. ここ means "this place" and it needs a locative marker で to mean "here" when it's combined with the predicate やっている.
  2. You can't use the form of a non-noda form followed with よ for interrogative sentences apart from slang. 
  3. …かよ doesn't stand for a simple question but a rhetoric question to actually deny it.
  4. 何をマジやっている has two objects of 何 and マジ. You need some particle when you use マジ adverbially, aside from some slangy usages.

So, you might want, for example, ここで一体何やって(る)んだ、俺、マジで, or …何やってるんだよ
(interrogative noda form with よ), which expresses blame rather than really
asking.

