に迷う vs で迷う, に悩む vs で悩む


I have seen a lot of older posts about the differences between the particles に
and で. But I am surprised that neither pair in this question seems to have
been asked before.

> 道に迷う

> 進路に悩む

> セックスレスに悩む主婦

> 森で迷う

> 人間関係で悩む

> ケーキを食べるかどうかで迷ってる

> 拒否と受容の間で迷う

> 仕事のことで悩む

「Xで」implies X is the reason for the confusion, puzzlement, or troubling. This
seems an easy enough criterion. I feel roughly 60% confident about picking one
over the other. But there are still cases where I am not sure about the
particle.

For example, why doesn't 「人間関係に悩む」work? This may not be the best example,
because I probably wouldn't make a mistake here, but I can't articulate the
reason for で over に either. How about this 「セックスレスで悩む主婦」?




# に迷う vs. で迷う

## で

  * For specifying where the subject is lost at, like [Shurim said](https://japanese.stackexchange.com/questions/84323/%e3%81%ab%e8%bf%b7%e3%81%86-vs-%e3%81%a7%e8%bf%b7%e3%81%86-%e3%81%ab%e6%82%a9%e3%82%80-vs-%e3%81%a7%e6%82%a9%e3%82%80#comment136893_84323).

> 森で迷う 東京で迷う

  * For indicating the choices between which one is indecisive about

> ケーキを食べるかどうかで迷う 新婚旅行はハワイとバリとで迷ってる

## に

Basically everything else.

# に悩む vs. で悩む

に is more abstract/conceptual whereas で is more specific/concrete. So I think
they can be interchanged and still remain grammatical, but the meaning would
slightly differ. IMO, this is very subjective and some Japanese speakers might
even say they mean completely the same.

仕事に悩む: The subject is worrying about work in general or the concept of work.
仕事で悩む: The subject is worrying about something in their job.

> For example, why doesn't 「人間関係に悩む」work? This may not be the best example,
> because I probably wouldn't make a mistake here, but I can't articulate the
> reason for で over に either. How about this 「セックスレスで悩む主婦」?

I don't think either is wrong. Do you have specific examples which would make
them wrong?

