Addressing a friend's parents when meeting them for the first time


I have met the parents of a close Japanese friend two times in my life and
have never been sure how I should address them. Both times I've asked the
friend beforehand but never got a satisfactory answer.

One friend said I could just call her parents お母さん・お父さん; the other friend said
that her parents would find it rudely over-familiar if I were to call them
that.

Both times I suggested last-name+さん but both friends felt this would be
weird/confusing as there would be many people with the same last-name present.

I feel first-name+さん or あなた would sound rude...

So the question is: **How should you address a friend's parents when meeting
them for the first time?**

Thank you!




It is usual to call them last-name+の+お母さん and last-name+の+お父さん (that means,
you refer to your friend by the last-name). It is widespread to call people by
their function unless you got closely acquainted with them. Both referencing
and addressing the same.

お母さん・お父さん basically means "my mother / my father", either in direct or
figurative sense. ( **Update:** At least, when used for addressing.)

last-name+さん is ambiguous.

last-name+first-name+さん is unambiguous, but it is worse than calling by
function, because it looks like you are forgetting or neglecting that function
(and being a parent to your friend is good enough to be not neglected).

first-name+さん is very familiar and unceremonious, neglecting the difference in
age and status.




It is usual to call them last-name+の+お母さん and last-name+の+お父さん (that means,
you refer to your friend by the last-name). It is widespread to call people by
their function unless you got closely acquainted with them. Both referencing
and addressing the same.

お母さん・お父さん basically means "my mother / my father", either in direct or
figurative sense. ( **Update:** At least, when used for addressing.)

last-name+さん is ambiguous.

last-name+first-name+さん is unambiguous, but it is worse than calling by
function, because it looks like you are forgetting or neglecting that function
(and being a parent to your friend is good enough to be not neglected).

first-name+さん is very familiar and unceremonious, neglecting the difference in
age and status.

