Why is なさい condescending but お/ご～なさい respectful?


I have learnt that ～なさい is used to tell someone to do something, from someone
of a higher social standing to someone of a lower social standing (eg from a
parent to a child), and hence should not be used when talking to a superior.

I have also learnt that お/ご～なさい is also used to tell someone to do something,
and is a form of respectful language (尊敬語), from someone of a lower social
standing to someone of a higher social standing (eg from a employee to a
customer).

  1. Why are the two constructions using なさい the opposite of each other? Is the difference just because of the お/ご in front of the word?

  2. Why is お/ご～なさい respectful even though なさい is the imperative of なさる/なさいます?

Thank you




なさい is _technically_ an honorific form because it's originally a slurred
imperative form of [なさる](https://jlptsensei.com/learn-japanese-
grammar/%E3%81%AA%E3%81%95%E3%82%8B-nasaru-%E3%81%AA%E3%81%95%E3%81%84%E3%81%BE%E3%81%99-meaning/).
However, this does not mean you can use it respectfully to someone of higher
status in modern Japanese conversation. The respectful sense has been largely
lost over time, and something like 食べなさい or 行きなさい is now basically a command
used by a parent or teacher to young children. 食べろ is too strong and is rarely
used in real life conversation. Apart from this, 食べなさい is practically the
strongest and most dignified command a child will hear on a daily basis. For
example, on elementary or middle school exams, you might find instructions
like 文章を読んで問題に答えなさい.

When it's used with お/ご, it's a bit different. お食べなさい does sound politer and
more respectful than 食べなさい, but this form is fairly uncommon today. Perhaps
you would see `お + なさい` mainly in fairy tales, fantasy works, and novels
written more than 100 years ago. In such settings, `お + なさい` is basically a
polite and courteous request/invitation, and occasionally someone of a little
lower status may use it as a polite request. You might see `お + なされ` more
often, which is an old form of `お + なさい`. Anyway, unless you intentionally
want to sound old and pompous, you should not use these forms in modern
conversation.

As exceptions, お休みなさい ("Good night") and お帰りなさい ("Welcome back") are fixed
greetings that are almost always safe regardless of the social status. It's
perfectly natural and safe to say these to your boss in your office.




なさい is _technically_ an honorific form because it's originally a slurred
imperative form of [なさる](https://jlptsensei.com/learn-japanese-
grammar/%E3%81%AA%E3%81%95%E3%82%8B-nasaru-%E3%81%AA%E3%81%95%E3%81%84%E3%81%BE%E3%81%99-meaning/).
However, this does not mean you can use it respectfully to someone of higher
status in modern Japanese conversation. The respectful sense has been largely
lost over time, and something like 食べなさい or 行きなさい is now basically a command
used by a parent or teacher to young children. 食べろ is too strong and is rarely
used in real life conversation. Apart from this, 食べなさい is practically the
strongest and most dignified command a child will hear on a daily basis. For
example, on elementary or middle school exams, you might find instructions
like 文章を読んで問題に答えなさい.

When it's used with お/ご, it's a bit different. お食べなさい does sound politer and
more respectful than 食べなさい, but this form is fairly uncommon today. Perhaps
you would see `お + なさい` mainly in fairy tales, fantasy works, and novels
written more than 100 years ago. In such settings, `お + なさい` is basically a
polite and courteous request/invitation, and occasionally someone of a little
lower status may use it as a polite request. You might see `お + なされ` more
often, which is an old form of `お + なさい`. Anyway, unless you intentionally
want to sound old and pompous, you should not use these forms in modern
conversation.

As exceptions, お休みなさい ("Good night") and お帰りなさい ("Welcome back") are fixed
greetings that are almost always safe regardless of the social status. It's
perfectly natural and safe to say these to your boss in your office.

