About the ending of Akashi by Zone


[Here is the song](https://lyricstranslate.com/en/akashi-testimony.html), and
[this is the video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=na_W7Xhwgtg). Any comments
on the linked translation are welcome.

This is the part I want to focus on:

> もし僕が死んで | Moshi boku ga shinde  
>  涙を流す | Namida wo nagasu  
>  人がいるなら | Hito ga iru nara  
>  涙が左の | Namida ga hidari no  
>  鼓動を揺らす | Kodou wo yurasu  
>  震え上がる証を | Furueagaru akashi wo  
>  僕はここにいる | Boku wa koko ni iru  
>  今生きている | Ima ikite iru  
>  叫び続けて進む | Sakebitsudzukete susumu

My first translation attempt would be:

> If I, while dying,  
>  Shed tears,  
>  If there was someone [with me then]…  
>  Tears the left-side  
>  Beating shake up,  
>  A proof that trembles,  
>  I am here,  
>  [I] am living now,  
>  [I] walk on as [I] keep on shouting

Then I learn that "omae wa mou shinde iru" is not "you are dying" but "you are
dead" (btw would I be right in saying "shinu" is more of "to be dead" than "to
die"?), so the first line would be "If I were dead", at which point "Namida wo
nagasu" cannot have "I" as a subject, so I must take it as a relative clause:

> If, when I was dead, There was someone Shedding tears

Then, after realizing "the left-side beating" refers to the hearbeat, I
wonder:

  1. Whose heartbeat?
  2. Who is the subject of furueagaru?
  3. This "proof/testimony that trembles", what is it? And who is doing what to it, given we have an object particle "wo" after it?

About the last one, I asked [this Quora question](https://www.quora.com/In-
the-song-Akashi-we-
have-%E6%B6%99%E3%81%8C%E5%B7%A6%E3%81%AE%E9%BC%93%E5%8B%95%E3%82%92%E6%8F%BA%E3%82%89%E3%81%99-%E9%9C%87%E3%81%88%E4%B8%8A%E3%81%8C%E3%82%89%E3%81%AC%E8%A8%BC%E3%82%92-lit-
Tears-shake-the-left), where I got [one answer](https://www.quora.com/In-the-
song-Akashi-we-
have-%E6%B6%99%E3%81%8C%E5%B7%A6%E3%81%AE%E9%BC%93%E5%8B%95%E3%82%92%E6%8F%BA%E3%82%89%E3%81%99-%E9%9C%87%E3%81%88%E4%B8%8A%E3%81%8C%E3%82%89%E3%81%AC%E8%A8%BC%E3%82%92-lit-
Tears-shake-the-left/answer/Bruce-Thomson-2) saying the subject and verb of
that incomplete sentences are the same "namida" and "yurasu" of the previous
line, and [another answer](https://www.quora.com/In-the-song-Akashi-we-
have-%E6%B6%99%E3%81%8C%E5%B7%A6%E3%81%AE%E9%BC%93%E5%8B%95%E3%82%92%E6%8F%BA%E3%82%89%E3%81%99-%E9%9C%87%E3%81%88%E4%B8%8A%E3%81%8C%E3%82%89%E3%81%AC%E8%A8%BC%E3%82%92-lit-
Tears-shake-the-left/answer/Hara-Shidho) which, once the comments are taken
into account, is telling me that I should count the proof/testimony as an
apposition of the heartbeat, so the heartbeat is a proof/testimony that
trembles. Well, it says "testimony of trembling"… hmm…

And then I wonder: should I be linking the dying part and the testimony part,
so the tears that shake whatever they shake belong to whoever was crying at
the singer's death?

And finally, I learn that "nara" signifies the action before "nara" comes
after the action after "nara", so the shinde would be before the iru.

So let's put out some possible translations (omitting the last three lines
because those have no doubts for me):

> If, once I were dead, There were people Shedding tears… [My] tears shake
> [My] heartbeat, [They shake] a trembling proof/testimony

Or:

> If, once I were dead, There were people Shedding tears, [Their] tears will
> shake [My] heartbeat, A trembling proof/testimony

Or even:

> If, once I were dead, There were people Shedding tears, [Their] tears will
> shake [My? Their?] heartbeat, A proof/testimony of [my? their?] trembling

Which would you recommend? In what sense is the heartbeat a proof/testimony of
trembling or a trembling proof/testimony? Proof or testimony? Whose heartbeat
and whose trembling? Should I read the akashi line as having a different verb
and/or subject?

ADDENDUM

> I read your question to “about the ending of Akashi by Zone”. Though I don't
> know Japanese, maybe the singer implies that the tears, shed by those who
> are present to his death, have the power to shake up a trembling heartbeat,
> thus proving that those tears can bring him back to life?

A suggestion I got. Could that be it?

UPDATE

I asked this question almost or over 27h ago, and the only reaction were two
close votes for "violating a community guideline", allegedly because this is a
translation question where "no prior effort is shown". Excuse me? I've shown
you the evolution of my translation attempts, I've given multiple possible
translations as of now, I've asked specific interpretation questions… WHAT
OTHER "EFFORT" DO YOU WANT?

I came back here from Quora after ages because I wanted a body to my question,
and this is the result? Guess I'm going right back there. Time to [cross-
post](https://www.quora.com/unanswered/How-would-you-translate-the-
end-3-14-3-53-of-the-Japanese-song-Akashi-by-Zone-Please-see-details-in-self-
answer).




> Then I learn that "omae wa mou shinde iru" is not "you are dying" but "you
> are dead" (btw would I be right in saying "shinu" is more of "to be dead"
> than "to die"?)

死ぬ means "to die", and yet 死んでいる means "to be dead" rather than "to be dying".
See [When is Vている the continuation of action and when is it the continuation
of state?](https://japanese.stackexchange.com/q/3122/16052)

* * *

This is only my take as a fellow learner:

> If I were to die,  
>  then as long as there is someone who sheds tears (for me),  
>  their tears would stir awake my pulse,  
>  (that pulse being) the trembling proof (of my existence).

I think a lot of interpretations are possible, but the idea that “you're kept
alive in the memory of others” is a common one, and “the singer's heartbeat
continuing after death when stirred by the tears of others” seems to be a
metaphor for this.

Grammatically, I think 震え上がる証を is a sort of “restatement of 鼓動を in
afterthought” — the pulse _is_ the proof — so both are direct object of 揺らす.

When the object of a verb is stated (here, restated) _after_ the verb like
this, it's called [倒置法]{とうちほう} (anastrophe). It seems to be [common in song
lyrics](https://japanese.stackexchange.com/questions/62379/%e8%aa%b0%e3%81%8c%e6%ad%a2%e3%82%81%e3%82%8b%e3%81%a8%e3%81%84%e3%81%86%e3%81%ae-%e5%bf%83%e3%81%8c%e5%8f%ab%e3%82%93%e3%81%a0%e5%a3%b0%e3%82%92).




> Then I learn that "omae wa mou shinde iru" is not "you are dying" but "you
> are dead" (btw would I be right in saying "shinu" is more of "to be dead"
> than "to die"?)

死ぬ means "to die", and yet 死んでいる means "to be dead" rather than "to be dying".
See [When is Vている the continuation of action and when is it the continuation
of state?](https://japanese.stackexchange.com/q/3122/16052)

* * *

This is only my take as a fellow learner:

> If I were to die,  
>  then as long as there is someone who sheds tears (for me),  
>  their tears would stir awake my pulse,  
>  (that pulse being) the trembling proof (of my existence).

I think a lot of interpretations are possible, but the idea that “you're kept
alive in the memory of others” is a common one, and “the singer's heartbeat
continuing after death when stirred by the tears of others” seems to be a
metaphor for this.

Grammatically, I think 震え上がる証を is a sort of “restatement of 鼓動を in
afterthought” — the pulse _is_ the proof — so both are direct object of 揺らす.

When the object of a verb is stated (here, restated) _after_ the verb like
this, it's called [倒置法]{とうちほう} (anastrophe). It seems to be [common in song
lyrics](https://japanese.stackexchange.com/questions/62379/%e8%aa%b0%e3%81%8c%e6%ad%a2%e3%82%81%e3%82%8b%e3%81%a8%e3%81%84%e3%81%86%e3%81%ae-%e5%bf%83%e3%81%8c%e5%8f%ab%e3%82%93%e3%81%a0%e5%a3%b0%e3%82%92).

