Meaning of させてもらう


I'm trying to understand what させてもらう really means, beyond different
translations I have seen, since they don't always seem to work.

I found [this](https://japanese.stackexchange.com/questions/84039/what-
does-%E3%81%95%E3%81%9B%E3%81%A6%E3%82%82%E3%82%89%E3%81%86-really-mean)
question, which gives as meanings "[decide to] take the liberty of" and
"someone allowed me to", but they not always works.

For example, "take the liberty to" doesn't seem to work in sentences like this
(from _Gamers!_ ):

> 今お付き合いさせていただけてるっていうのは‌すごく幸せなことだよね‌

with a boy speaking about his girlfriend, which is the top girl in his school
under every aspect, sounds kinda strange: "I'm happy since I'm taking the
liberty to date her"? "Someone allowed me to" sounds better, like "I'm happy
she is allowing me to date her".

Then there are sentences like this (from _Kakegurui Twin_ ):

> 悪いけど僕はこの賭場守らなきゃいけない。勝たせてもらうよ

where two girls are competing by gambling on who gets to use the library (賭場
because it's also used as gambling den); in this case, 「勝たせてもらう」 as "You will
allow me to win" sounds strange, while "I'll take the liberty to win" sounds
better. The sub is "I'm gonna win", which sounds even better.

I get that させてもらう is causative + もらう, so "someone allowed/made me to" + "to
get someone to do something", so I think it's like "to get someone to let/make
me do something"; but this literal meaning is kinda strange, since "I'll get
you to let me win" doesn't really sounds right, since the opponent doesn't let
her win, rather she plan to win despite her opponent's wishes.

Given the meanings I found, some of them seems to always fit the various
situations, but I was wondering if there is an underlying meaning to all of
them, maybe just some form of politeness like the previous examples literally
meaning "I got her to let me date her" and "I'll make you let me win" as less
direct forms than "She dates me" and "I'll win"; or if it really has different
nuances ("to take the liberty" vs "to be allowed to" vs "to do something")
depending on the context.




You doing the act of the verb (that is used in the causative) is positive for
you in one way or another, and the person or people you are referring to (that
would be marked with に) contribute to making it possible. You may be really
grateful or just saying it because you are supposed to as in work settings, or
maybe you are being sarcastic.




You doing the act of the verb (that is used in the causative) is positive for
you in one way or another, and the person or people you are referring to (that
would be marked with に) contribute to making it possible. You may be really
grateful or just saying it because you are supposed to as in work settings, or
maybe you are being sarcastic.

