In the next sentence does she really care or is she pretending to care?


Context:

A girl is monologuing. She's talking to another girl. She had previously said
what she desires is her happiness. After that she monologues:

> 違うんだよ、アリス。私はね、そうやって、自分を誤魔化してるんだよ。

I'm well aware that the sentence she said before means something like: You're
wrong, Alice. I'm only saying that to make myself look better.

This is what I'm not sure about:

> あなたのことを気遣ってると思いこむことで、逃げてるんだよ。

I'm just running away from it all by pretending/through caring about you like
this.

She really cares or she makes it seem she cares?




> 違うんだよ、アリス。私はね、そうやって、 **自分** を誤魔化してるんだよ。

I don't know what you meant by "make myself look better", but I think it means
the "monologuing girl" is fooling herself.

> あなたのことを気遣ってると思いこむ **ことで** 、逃げてるんだよ。

Here, 「あなたのことを気遣ってると思いこむ」 is the **means** of running away (like you said),
but I don't think 「思いこむ」 itself is pretending, but rather "imagining
something".

So yes, I think that she makes it seem that she cares, but only in the sense
of fooling herself, not Alice. She even goes all the way to explain it to her.




> 違うんだよ、アリス。私はね、そうやって、 **自分** を誤魔化してるんだよ。

I don't know what you meant by "make myself look better", but I think it means
the "monologuing girl" is fooling herself.

> あなたのことを気遣ってると思いこむ **ことで** 、逃げてるんだよ。

Here, 「あなたのことを気遣ってると思いこむ」 is the **means** of running away (like you said),
but I don't think 「思いこむ」 itself is pretending, but rather "imagining
something".

So yes, I think that she makes it seem that she cares, but only in the sense
of fooling herself, not Alice. She even goes all the way to explain it to her.

