What's the difference between 言わないでほしい and 言ってほしくない


  1. What's the difference between 言わないでほしい and 言ってほしくない ?

  2. If the intended message is "I don't want you to say it" which of the two above would be more suitable?




You can use these sentences in two ways. One is to use it as in "I don't want
you to say x (literary)". Another is to use it as in "I resent what you
already said".

So, what's the difference? In the first case, 言わないでほしい is an explicit request.
言ってほしくない merely states that you _don't want_ the other guy to tell anybody,
and the request is only implied. As a consequence, the latter is softer, as it
would be in English.

In the second case, 言わないでほしい focuses on the fact that _you_ don't like to hear
x. Hence it is possible to use this expression when you think the speaker is
saying something legitimate, but _you_ just don't want to be told that for
personal reason etc.

For example, you may say わかってるから言わないで when you are told something that you
know you can't defend, but nevertheless want the other person to stop saying
it. [Here](http://wizco.jp/president/2011/03/post-646.html) is an example of
this usage. The author doesn't disapprove the motivation itself, but he is
explaining that one should not say 頑張って. Note however that you _can_ use
言わないでほしい to express disapproval/disagreement. It's just that you can also use
it when you don't want to.

言ってほしくない is much less suitable in this situation because it implies that you
believe the speaker is saying something unjustifiable in your opinion. For
example, if you'd say わかってるから言ってほしくない, the listener will sense a frustration
or disagreement, and that he/she doesn't really mean わかってる. More natural use
of 言ってほしくない can be seen
[here](http://iwama.books.officelive.com/watakushi03.aspx). The author uses
言ってほしくない because he pretty much disapproves the word ヤバイ itself.




You can use these sentences in two ways. One is to use it as in "I don't want
you to say x (literary)". Another is to use it as in "I resent what you
already said".

So, what's the difference? In the first case, 言わないでほしい is an explicit request.
言ってほしくない merely states that you _don't want_ the other guy to tell anybody,
and the request is only implied. As a consequence, the latter is softer, as it
would be in English.

In the second case, 言わないでほしい focuses on the fact that _you_ don't like to hear
x. Hence it is possible to use this expression when you think the speaker is
saying something legitimate, but _you_ just don't want to be told that for
personal reason etc.

For example, you may say わかってるから言わないで when you are told something that you
know you can't defend, but nevertheless want the other person to stop saying
it. [Here](http://wizco.jp/president/2011/03/post-646.html) is an example of
this usage. The author doesn't disapprove the motivation itself, but he is
explaining that one should not say 頑張って. Note however that you _can_ use
言わないでほしい to express disapproval/disagreement. It's just that you can also use
it when you don't want to.

言ってほしくない is much less suitable in this situation because it implies that you
believe the speaker is saying something unjustifiable in your opinion. For
example, if you'd say わかってるから言ってほしくない, the listener will sense a frustration
or disagreement, and that he/she doesn't really mean わかってる. More natural use
of 言ってほしくない can be seen
[here](http://iwama.books.officelive.com/watakushi03.aspx). The author uses
言ってほしくない because he pretty much disapproves the word ヤバイ itself.

