Nuanced meaning of 実際、いまこうやって目の前にするまでは


>
> 例年ありますからね。『まあ、もらえるんだろうな』とは思ってましたけど、実際、いまこうやって目の前にするまでは、この権利証があるのかどうか、よくわからなかったですし。

In the context the speaker is recieving a contract (let's say a job contract).
In this particular scene he is sitting on a chair with the contract laying in
front of him on a table, he is acting very cocky because he won a similar
contract years ago but was cheated out the job, so he is trying to remind that
to the company.

> 実際、いまこうやって目の前にするまでは

Is this sentence implying that the speaker wasn't expecting to see the
contract laying in front of him, or is it implying that he was expecting it
and it was the only way to know he'd be getting the contract. Also, I'm not
sure whether いま is connected to こうやって or to まで.




He has inferred there should be the contract as same as previous years'
winners. But he was cheated out of the job contract before. Therefore, in his
case, the very moment he is seeing the contract just in front of him, he has
not been so sure if he could expect the contract will exist in the world or
not.




He has inferred there should be the contract as same as previous years'
winners. But he was cheated out of the job contract before. Therefore, in his
case, the very moment he is seeing the contract just in front of him, he has
not been so sure if he could expect the contract will exist in the world or
not.

