くれた and もらった used with 泊まって


Recently, I chanced upon the sentence 友達の家に泊まってくれてしたり... or was it
泊まってもらってしたり... (Couldn't really recall, but they would translate to the same
thing) which translates to "do things like **me** staying at my friend's
house, etc". But from what I understand, when a te-form verb is used with もらった
or くれた, the **other party** , and **not myself** is the one that does the
verb, for example, ペンを貸してくれた/ペンを貸してもらった - (someone) lent me a pen. Using this
intuition, wouldn't 友達の家に泊まってくれてしたり mean **my friend** (and not me) stayed at
my friend's house (ignoring the したり part as the sentence wouldn't make sense
otherwise)? Two (more accurate?) ways that I know of to say that **I** stayed
at my friends house would be 友達の家に泊まってさせてもらってしたり or 友達の家に泊まらせた.

Any help would be highly appreciated




I'll try to explain this by giving some examples. I'll assume that the person
staying over / letting someone stay over is the speaker (unless otherwise
specified) to make this easier to read.

I assume that by「～てしたり」you mean「～たりした」, i.e. the past tense of「～たりする」. As you
say, the「～たりする」corresponds to something like 'and stuff like that'.

In this context「泊める」means "to have/let someone stay (at one's house etc)"
while similarly,「泊まる」means "to stay (at someone's house, a hotel etc)". The
basic forms for these with「～くれたりした」and「～もらったりした」are:

  * 「友達の家に（自分を）泊めてもらったりした」

Normal interpretation: "A friend let me stay over and stuff" or more lit. "I
had a friend let me stay over at their place and stuff".

  * 「友達が家に泊めてくれたりした」

Normal interpretation: "A friend let me stay over and stuff".

  * 「友達に家に泊まってもらったりした」

Normal interpretation: "I had a friend stay over at my place and stuff".

  * 「友達が家に泊まってくれたりした」

Normal interpretation: "A friend stayed over at my place and stuff".

* * *

As for the other forms that you mentioned, I assume you meant (some of) the
following (without the「～たりした」/ "and stuff like that"):

  * 「友達の家に泊まらせてもらった」

Normal interpretation: "I had a friend let me stay over at their house".

Alternative: "I stayed at a friend's house (without their permission)".

  * 「友達の家に泊めさせてもらった」

Normal interpretation (although weird): "I let (someone) stay at a friend's
house (either with the friend's permission or without, depending on context)".

  * 「友達に家に泊まらせた」

Normal interpretation e.g.: "I made ("forced") a friend to let me stay at
their house"

Alternative: "I made a friend let (someone) stay at that friend's house" etc.

  * 「友達の家に泊まらせた」

Normal interpretation: e.g. "I made (someone) stay at my friend's house".




I'll try to explain this by giving some examples. I'll assume that the person
staying over / letting someone stay over is the speaker (unless otherwise
specified) to make this easier to read.

I assume that by「～てしたり」you mean「～たりした」, i.e. the past tense of「～たりする」. As you
say, the「～たりする」corresponds to something like 'and stuff like that'.

In this context「泊める」means "to have/let someone stay (at one's house etc)"
while similarly,「泊まる」means "to stay (at someone's house, a hotel etc)". The
basic forms for these with「～くれたりした」and「～もらったりした」are:

  * 「友達の家に（自分を）泊めてもらったりした」

Normal interpretation: "A friend let me stay over and stuff" or more lit. "I
had a friend let me stay over at their place and stuff".

  * 「友達が家に泊めてくれたりした」

Normal interpretation: "A friend let me stay over and stuff".

  * 「友達に家に泊まってもらったりした」

Normal interpretation: "I had a friend stay over at my place and stuff".

  * 「友達が家に泊まってくれたりした」

Normal interpretation: "A friend stayed over at my place and stuff".

* * *

As for the other forms that you mentioned, I assume you meant (some of) the
following (without the「～たりした」/ "and stuff like that"):

  * 「友達の家に泊まらせてもらった」

Normal interpretation: "I had a friend let me stay over at their house".

Alternative: "I stayed at a friend's house (without their permission)".

  * 「友達の家に泊めさせてもらった」

Normal interpretation (although weird): "I let (someone) stay at a friend's
house (either with the friend's permission or without, depending on context)".

  * 「友達に家に泊まらせた」

Normal interpretation e.g.: "I made ("forced") a friend to let me stay at
their house"

Alternative: "I made a friend let (someone) stay at that friend's house" etc.

  * 「友達の家に泊まらせた」

Normal interpretation: e.g. "I made (someone) stay at my friend's house".

