Translation: 多大の貢献をなし他の範とするところ


I'm trying to translate accurately the following text (JP > EN)...

I'm particularly puzzled about the part: " **多大の貢献をなし他の範とするところ** ". Did I
understand the meaning well? Does "他の範" refer to other departments in the
company?

> 表彰状  
>  貴部所は建築工事表彰内規に基づき平成二十八年度建築工事中総合成績が極めて優秀であって会社の技術水準並びに業績の向上に
> **多大の貢献をなし他の範とするところ** 甚大であると認められるので兹に所員一同の功績に対し表彰金を贈り表彰します。

## My English translation:

Certificate of Distinction

In light of the superior and all-round excellence of your department’s
achievements in 2016 in the domain of construction work, which has brought
about major contributions to the improvement of our company’s technological
abilities and performance, **unparalleled in other sectors** , and on the
basis of our company’s internal regulations as regards commendations, I hereby
present your department with this certificate and its corresponding financial
award in recognition of the achievements of all department members.




The part you excerpted crosses the boundary of phrasing. It's actually,

> 会社の技術水準並びに業績の向上に **多大の貢献をなし** / **他の範とするところ** 甚大である

While the first portion aptly corresponds with your translation:

> _...has brought about major contributions to the improvement of our
> company’s technological abilities and performance..._

the real problem is in the second portion.

> 他の範とするところ甚大である

This wording utilizes a relatively rare as well as ceremonious construction.
ところ seen here is a literal translation of [the (Classical) Chinese relative
particle 所](https://www.chineseboost.com/grammar/suo-structural-particle/)
(for grammatical details please see the link), that, in short, makes `AのVところ`
mean "what A V". Thus,

> 他の範とするところ甚大である  
>  = "what others (can) take as model is huge"  
>  ≈ _from what others (can) learn is huge_  
>  ≈ _(you) set a profound example to others_




Try something like "and serves as/has set a tremendous example for the other
departments" for the 他の範とするところ甚大である part.

Breaking it down a little:

  * 他の範 → a good model/example for others

  * とするところ → the element/aspect of serving as/setting, the way it acts/serves as

  * 甚大である → great, enormous, tremendous

The rest looks pretty good, although strictly speaking, the Japanese text says
"technological _level_ /standard and performance" rather than _abilities_ ,
but your version is perfectly possible in the broader context.

Even for a certificate like this, that's impressively formal and stilted
language, though. I get a vision of the person presenting it stumbling over 兹に
while reading it during the award ceremony! :)

