Ancient practise of sneaking into women's bedrooms...?


I was looking up the meaning of
[`スマ婚{こん}`](http://detail.chiebukuro.yahoo.co.jp/qa/question_detail/q1136287801),
when my mouse happened to roll over the kanji `婚{こん}`, and this definition
popped up in [Rikaichan](http://www.polarcloud.com/rikaichan):

> 婚 よばい ancient practice of creeping at night into a woman's bedroom (lit:
> night crawling); stealing into a girl's bedroom at night to make love;
> sneaking visit

Say what? Putting aside the fact that this sounds like a whitewashed
description of sexual assault, at what point in history was this "practice" so
common that it was given a name?

Is the definition accurate, or is it just another case of
[WWWJDIC](http://www.csse.monash.edu.au/~jwb/cgi-bin/wwwjdic.cgi?1C) and its
occasionally misguided and erroneous community contributed obscure
definitions?

If it is accurate, what is the history behind this word?




> Say what? Putting aside the fact that this sounds like a whitewashed
> description of sexual assault, at what point in history was this "practice"
> so common that it was given a name?

I don't know when it started, but the word originally comes from [呼ばう]{よばう}
and is more commonly written as [夜這い]{よばい}. It is an old Japanese custom that
was common up until the Meiji or Taisho Period and originally was thought of
as a way to propose to a girl (I use the word "propose" very loosely here).
However, in very local areas, it supposedly lasted up until around World War
II.

> Is the definition accurate, or is it just another case of WWWJDIC and its
> occasionally misguided and erroneous community contributed obscure
> definitions?

It is misleading. The way we think of two people meeting, falling in love and
getting married is very different from what went on in the olden days in
Japan. There was also no concept of "cheating on your spouse", etc. the way we
think of nowadays. Basically every small village had a set of customs or rules
which everyone would abide by. よばい refers to a custom were men were allowed to
go to the place where a girl was sleeping, and if the girl approved, make
love. Now, if the girl refused, you were supposed to leave or else the father
would come and haul the guy away. However, sexual assault did occur sometimes,
and よばい _sometimes_ does implicitly imply that. Also, in some villages, if you
didn't abide by the rules, there would be some kind of punishment involved.

However, every village was different. In some areas it was common for women to
sneak into guys rooms, or they would hold a festival of girls (or guys) who
"became of age" where older people would teach them how to have sex. Also, a
lot of times you would have sex with so many different people, nobody really
knew who their real father was. The examples I'm giving are just some of the
customs that were present, but I'm sure there are a lot more. Also, the idea
of "marriage" in Japan was when you could regularly go to a girl's house
without sneaking. The word 結婚 itself didn't actually exist till the Meiji Era
because there was no word to translate "marry"*

*: It should be noted that there were words that meant "becoming a couple" in Japanese, such as [婚姻]{こんいん} that existed before the word 結婚, but they didn't mean the same thing as the word "marriage" in English.

**References**

  * [夜這い](http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E5%A4%9C%E9%80%99%E3%81%84) \- Wikipedia Article
  * [田舎の『夜這い』文化についてご存知の方いますか？](http://oshiete.goo.ne.jp/qa/2605907.html)

  * [結婚の語源](http://www.7key.jp/data/word_custom/kekkon.html)




> Say what? Putting aside the fact that this sounds like a whitewashed
> description of sexual assault, at what point in history was this "practice"
> so common that it was given a name?

I don't know when it started, but the word originally comes from [呼ばう]{よばう}
and is more commonly written as [夜這い]{よばい}. It is an old Japanese custom that
was common up until the Meiji or Taisho Period and originally was thought of
as a way to propose to a girl (I use the word "propose" very loosely here).
However, in very local areas, it supposedly lasted up until around World War
II.

> Is the definition accurate, or is it just another case of WWWJDIC and its
> occasionally misguided and erroneous community contributed obscure
> definitions?

It is misleading. The way we think of two people meeting, falling in love and
getting married is very different from what went on in the olden days in
Japan. There was also no concept of "cheating on your spouse", etc. the way we
think of nowadays. Basically every small village had a set of customs or rules
which everyone would abide by. よばい refers to a custom were men were allowed to
go to the place where a girl was sleeping, and if the girl approved, make
love. Now, if the girl refused, you were supposed to leave or else the father
would come and haul the guy away. However, sexual assault did occur sometimes,
and よばい _sometimes_ does implicitly imply that. Also, in some villages, if you
didn't abide by the rules, there would be some kind of punishment involved.

However, every village was different. In some areas it was common for women to
sneak into guys rooms, or they would hold a festival of girls (or guys) who
"became of age" where older people would teach them how to have sex. Also, a
lot of times you would have sex with so many different people, nobody really
knew who their real father was. The examples I'm giving are just some of the
customs that were present, but I'm sure there are a lot more. Also, the idea
of "marriage" in Japan was when you could regularly go to a girl's house
without sneaking. The word 結婚 itself didn't actually exist till the Meiji Era
because there was no word to translate "marry"*

*: It should be noted that there were words that meant "becoming a couple" in Japanese, such as [婚姻]{こんいん} that existed before the word 結婚, but they didn't mean the same thing as the word "marriage" in English.

**References**

  * [夜這い](http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E5%A4%9C%E9%80%99%E3%81%84) \- Wikipedia Article
  * [田舎の『夜這い』文化についてご存知の方いますか？](http://oshiete.goo.ne.jp/qa/2605907.html)

  * [結婚の語源](http://www.7key.jp/data/word_custom/kekkon.html)

