Situational use of politeness


I am often confused on which level of politeness to use between people who are
relatively close.

For example, let say I am talking when a friend in Japanese and we use plain
form. Although a close friend of that person comes along and joins the
conversation. How does the use politeness change between the group?

If its someone I know but would normally use ～ます/丁寧語 form with, would the
entire group switch to that? Or would the politeness stay the same between
each person of the group?

I have read a [different
question](https://japanese.stackexchange.com/questions/9493/situational-
acceptability-of-politeness-and-or-honorific-use) that was helpful but it is
more centered around formalities with work.




My experience in Japan is that you mix levels. When in a group conversation,
you tend to keep the level of politeness you have with that particular person.
If it is someone new, you keep it 丁寧語.

That being said, I have noticed that this rule can be a bit relaxed, in the
sense that you may introduce some plain form with the person you almost do not
know in the context of the group general politeness level, specially if she/he
is a friend of your friends, and you are in a casual environment. However, I
personally try to see what is the feeling with the new person, and whether it
is or not appropriate to use plain form (for example, in a work meeting, you
should probably always keep the appropriate level).

As mentioned by @DariusJahandarie, experience is your best teacher. Also, keep
in mind that using 丁寧語 you may never be wrong (but mistakingly using plain
form may convey the wrong impression).




My experience in Japan is that you mix levels. When in a group conversation,
you tend to keep the level of politeness you have with that particular person.
If it is someone new, you keep it 丁寧語.

That being said, I have noticed that this rule can be a bit relaxed, in the
sense that you may introduce some plain form with the person you almost do not
know in the context of the group general politeness level, specially if she/he
is a friend of your friends, and you are in a casual environment. However, I
personally try to see what is the feeling with the new person, and whether it
is or not appropriate to use plain form (for example, in a work meeting, you
should probably always keep the appropriate level).

As mentioned by @DariusJahandarie, experience is your best teacher. Also, keep
in mind that using 丁寧語 you may never be wrong (but mistakingly using plain
form may convey the wrong impression).

