When can I exchange くださる for いただく in expressions of gratitude?


Way back when, I remember being taught that when you want to say a really
polite "thank you", sentences such as these are basically the same:

> 文章を訂正して **いただきまして** ありがとうございます。
>
> 文章を訂正して **くださいまして** ありがとうございます。

But are they really? Does it make a difference if a) I specifically asked for
corrections, or b) the corrections were voluntarily offered?

Furthermore, if these were truly the same, why is it you always hear the first
of this following pair, but rarely the second?

> 本日ご来店 **いただきまして** 、まことにありがとうございます。
>
> 本日ご来店 **（して）くださいまして** 、まことにありがとうございます。

Unless you switch things up a bit:

> 本日ご来店 **いただいた** お客様、まことにありがとうございます。
>
> 本日ご来店 **（して）くださった** お客様、まことにありがとうございます。

What is the nuance buried in this pair? In what "thank you" situations can one
be used and not the other?




I had been wondering for years why we hear ～いただきましてありがとうございます more often than
～くださいましてありがとうございます, but now I can make up a plausible explanation, inspired by
Boaz’s comment on the question. This is very incomplete, but let me post it as
an answer because I hope that it explains a small part of the question.

As a background, as explained in the answers to [this
question](https://japanese.stackexchange.com/questions/402/is-it-ok-to-use-
instead-of), いただく is to receive and くださる is to give. So the grammatical
subject of the first part of the sentence

> 文章を訂正していただきましてありがとうございます。

is the speaker (who “received” the favor), while the grammatical subject of
the first part of the sentence

> 文章を訂正してくださいましてありがとうございます。

is the listener (who “gave” the favor). Both describe the same fact and the
only difference is perspective. I do not think that there is any difference in
meaning between the two sentences in each pair, and we can use both sentences
no matter whether the favor was offered voluntarily or as a result of asking.

* * *

Now why do we hear ～いただきまして more often than ～くださいまして? I do not have a
reference at hand, but as I wrote in the answer to the other question, one of
the ways to express the politeness in Japanese is by avoiding using the person
to be respected as the grammatical subject. This is probably why we hear
～いただきましてありがとうございます more often than ～くださいましてありがとうございます.

Because ～くださいまして is more direct in the sense that it uses the listener as a
subject, there might be cases where the sentence using ～くださいまして has a nuance
of the favor offered voluntarily, but I cannot get a grip on this. Even if
this nuance exists, it is understandable that ～いただきまして is used more often
simply because ～いただきまして is more polite.

I have no idea which of ご来店いただいたお客様 and ご来店くださったお客様 is used more often, and if
the latter is more common, I do not know the reason for that.




I had been wondering for years why we hear ～いただきましてありがとうございます more often than
～くださいましてありがとうございます, but now I can make up a plausible explanation, inspired by
Boaz’s comment on the question. This is very incomplete, but let me post it as
an answer because I hope that it explains a small part of the question.

As a background, as explained in the answers to [this
question](https://japanese.stackexchange.com/questions/402/is-it-ok-to-use-
instead-of), いただく is to receive and くださる is to give. So the grammatical
subject of the first part of the sentence

> 文章を訂正していただきましてありがとうございます。

is the speaker (who “received” the favor), while the grammatical subject of
the first part of the sentence

> 文章を訂正してくださいましてありがとうございます。

is the listener (who “gave” the favor). Both describe the same fact and the
only difference is perspective. I do not think that there is any difference in
meaning between the two sentences in each pair, and we can use both sentences
no matter whether the favor was offered voluntarily or as a result of asking.

* * *

Now why do we hear ～いただきまして more often than ～くださいまして? I do not have a
reference at hand, but as I wrote in the answer to the other question, one of
the ways to express the politeness in Japanese is by avoiding using the person
to be respected as the grammatical subject. This is probably why we hear
～いただきましてありがとうございます more often than ～くださいましてありがとうございます.

Because ～くださいまして is more direct in the sense that it uses the listener as a
subject, there might be cases where the sentence using ～くださいまして has a nuance
of the favor offered voluntarily, but I cannot get a grip on this. Even if
this nuance exists, it is understandable that ～いただきまして is used more often
simply because ～いただきまして is more polite.

I have no idea which of ご来店いただいたお客様 and ご来店くださったお客様 is used more often, and if
the latter is more common, I do not know the reason for that.

