How to say "I'm going to spank you if..."?


I am just doing some homework and I can't make the sentence I want.

Concretely, I want to write

> "If you start smoking again, I'm going to give you a good spanking."

If I say this in England or other parts in Europe (in a different language)
the person I am telling this will laugh (or at least smile). Because of course
I am not actually going to beat them up even if they start smoking again.

How can I say this in Japanese?




There are so many ways to render it with a similar effect. Idiolect could play
a significant role, reflecting one's generation, gender, personality,
proclivity to use humor, etc.

The addressee's reaction could depend on HOW you say it, too, e.g., with
affected seriousness, with subtle cuteness, a deadpan tone/face, furrowed
brows with eyes smiling, etc.

Just a few examples that come to mind: また吸い始めたら +お仕置きするからね +ただじゃおかないからね
+さらし首かな +縛り首（しばりくび）だな +ギロチンだね +死刑だよ +おへそガリガリの刑だからね（dozens of variations are
possible on this 〜の刑).

For added emphasis you could repeat the noun part immediately after these,
e.g., ギロチンだね、ギロチン！(with or without the exclamation mark).




There are so many ways to render it with a similar effect. Idiolect could play
a significant role, reflecting one's generation, gender, personality,
proclivity to use humor, etc.

The addressee's reaction could depend on HOW you say it, too, e.g., with
affected seriousness, with subtle cuteness, a deadpan tone/face, furrowed
brows with eyes smiling, etc.

Just a few examples that come to mind: また吸い始めたら +お仕置きするからね +ただじゃおかないからね
+さらし首かな +縛り首（しばりくび）だな +ギロチンだね +死刑だよ +おへそガリガリの刑だからね（dozens of variations are
possible on this 〜の刑).

For added emphasis you could repeat the noun part immediately after these,
e.g., ギロチンだね、ギロチン！(with or without the exclamation mark).

