Meaning of 自分でもわかってはいるんだが


> 「朝武さんが寝ぼけてるだけなんですってば」
>
> 「ほら、朝に弱いから部屋を間違えて」
>
> 「いくら寝起きが弱いと言っても、部屋を間違えたりするものか？」
>
> 「もし仮に間違えたとしても、そんなに密着したりしますか？」
>
> 「やっぱ、この状況じゃ何を言っても説得力にかけるよな……」
>
> **自分でもわかってはいるんだが……** 。

Context: 朝武さん was found sleeping in his room right next to him.

What does 自分でもわかってはいるんだが mean in the above?

Or rather, what is he saying he "Understands"?

Is he saying the he understood that no matter what excuse he tried to make
they wouldn't buy it, but he tried anyway?

Or does it mean something else?




Suppose 朝武さん made a mistake and felt embarrassed, so naturally he is trying to
come up with excuses why he did it or why it happened. However he knows he
will not be able to find a good excuse. However still he is trying to find an
excuse because it is embarrassing or he cannot just let it go.

Another situation when 自分でもわかってはいるんだが can be used.

I have been trying to pass the bar exam to be a lawyer for 5 years now. My
family, friends, colleagues all say it is time to give up and find another
profession. I know it too that there is only slim chance I can pass even if I
keep trying. However, I have invested so much time. I do not know how I can
find another profession. Others may ridicule me if I give up.

自分でも司法試験に通る可能性は低いと分かっているのだが、諦められない、ここで止められない。

In such a situation where odds are against you and you know it, then you would
use the expression if you still try because you are so invested or obsessed or
have some reason of not being able to stop.

