Why is it that many anime and manga depict being a virgin male as something embarrassing?


From the long list of manga I read and anime I watched, especially in romance
genre, including romance comedy, harem, etc, being a virgin has been depicted
as something bad, especially a male virgin. Many of them have the virgin guy
pretending that he is not. When his close friend, who happens to know that he
is a virgin, blurted about the fact, he was seen embarrassed as if being a
virgin is something bad despite them being High School Students. Another even
said that if you are a virgin until 30 then you will become a wizard (IIRC it
was Haganai).

Why is it that anime and manga depict being a virgin as something
embarrassing? Does this reflects the Japanese society, mainly the teens?




The media depicts being a virgin as embarrassing because it reflects how
teenagers feel about being a virgin. As for why authors choose to reflect this
particular part of society, that would be a bigger discussion. The short
answer is to evoke empathy from their audience.

This is not exclusively a Japanese thing. A study cited in [Psychology
Today](https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200305/peer-pressure-and-teen-
sex) found:

> One in three boys ages 15-17 say they feel pressure to have sex, often from
> male friends. Teen girls feel less pressure--only 23 percent said they felt
> such coercion. Researchers questioned 1,854 subjects between the ages of 13
> and 24 in a national survey.

This is an American study, so it may be different in other countries, but
probably not significantly so. This excludes regions where the
religion/government censures sex.

Some reasons teens receive this peer pressure is the common belief that:

  * everyone their age does it 
    * due to media
    * due to pressure from friends
    * due to pressure from partners
  * having sex is cool
  * having sex makes you popular
  * having sex proves "love"
  * having sex proves maturity
  * having sex proves you're not gay

Most people in the western world would proabably be very familiar being
pressured with these reasons.




The media depicts being a virgin as embarrassing because it reflects how
teenagers feel about being a virgin. As for why authors choose to reflect this
particular part of society, that would be a bigger discussion. The short
answer is to evoke empathy from their audience.

This is not exclusively a Japanese thing. A study cited in [Psychology
Today](https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200305/peer-pressure-and-teen-
sex) found:

> One in three boys ages 15-17 say they feel pressure to have sex, often from
> male friends. Teen girls feel less pressure--only 23 percent said they felt
> such coercion. Researchers questioned 1,854 subjects between the ages of 13
> and 24 in a national survey.

This is an American study, so it may be different in other countries, but
probably not significantly so. This excludes regions where the
religion/government censures sex.

Some reasons teens receive this peer pressure is the common belief that:

  * everyone their age does it 
    * due to media
    * due to pressure from friends
    * due to pressure from partners
  * having sex is cool
  * having sex makes you popular
  * having sex proves "love"
  * having sex proves maturity
  * having sex proves you're not gay

Most people in the western world would proabably be very familiar being
pressured with these reasons.

