 yeah so how did you absorb that how did you embrace what he was saying yeah in moments i was really mad and i probably did i know there was one time you know where he'd asked even about our relationship prior to getting married and had we had sex before marriage and i remember you know i said well yes but he's the only person and i can't say you know none of my friends could say the same thing here you know and i was it was my little self you know trying to be a good person