 And you never pray long enough or hard enough or good enough. You never give enough. You never measure up. And so how then you start grading on the curve and you just hope somehow, someway that the cosmic scorekeeper that maybe your good deeds will outweigh your bad deeds. Realizing that you totally missed relationship. For others you think or have been taught or at least the world view is out there is that he's not an angry deity. He's not even a cosmic scorekeeper.