 and i get to offer them an opportunity to be aware and to be more mature in this and what does it look like to listen to me you know and i'll tell my kids hey could you just repeat what i said because i'm i'm distracted too sometimes you look like you might be a little bit distracted could you just repeat what i asked so we're on the same page it's such good coaching though that's the thing that's so bizarre that these thinking through your responses and being ahead of the curve and