 and the part of your childhood you're trying to recapture, which is apparently a good family, a good upbringing, huge respect to your dad several times. Your house kind of represents all that on one side of the scale. On the other side of the scale is the stress over money, the debt owed to your sister that now you don't really have a way to pay unless you go get a mortgage, and the stress over this whole thing, and your future is on the other side of the scale. It's almost like your past is on one side and your future is on the other.