 culture in your home right so either your shared language is going to be fostering a healthy communication culture that's going to be something that your kids are going to observe they're going to want to care because it's building life or you can have a shared language that is you know negative or or you know um you're walking on eggshells all the time because you're always waiting for the next explosion to happen type of thing so i'm not sure if you're going there with that but yeah couples can share language in many ways and they can share a