 and i can look at my child in that moment and say you know what buddy i'm starting to get upset and i don't want to say something wrong i love you very much and i need a minute to just take a breath and be calm so that we can try again like i would like to try again with you i know what i said just now wasn't the tone i really wanted to to speak to you in and i apologize for that can you just give me a minute and so even in the moment modeling that