 you know i mean it's just like bizarre stuff at volume you know and my emotions have not kept up and i have to i have to stop as an act of my will and go dave you're okay you're okay dave you're not going to die because i'm ready to kill something i'm going to go have some of that caffeine right now and just jack them up but no but i mean that's that's what you're dealing with man that's what i'm my point is it's a normal human thing