 is there a way to think about this as a part of seasons of life in other words what i love is you had this jewel that you just polished your whole life that the question isn't why didn't you do it earlier but now is the time yeah i i i really honestly do feel i've i've had to make allow myself to feel okay with that version of it you know instead of going why didn't i do this earlier because it really has been a great passion of mine but i i also think like