text:  Let's try this again. Let's revert back to the opening. Here's my ass. You can take your lips and plant it right there. Both cheeks, by the way. Because there's zero chance that's happening. You think I'm kidding, by the way? I would have 100% maybe been a little more professional, but I doubt it. Here's my ass. You can kiss it. There is no way we're doing that.