text:  18 years later, I'm very happy with where my life is now. It almost certainly wouldn't have ended up in this place if I had not thrown a curveball at myself back then. I remember that first night before my first shift at the station, my first night living on my own. And I was sitting in my motel room listening to my neighbors next door having a marital dispute. And I'm just wondering, what the hell am I doing? And why am I doing this?