text:  exactly so in families i mean there's all these things we want we some there's competitive siblings can be competitive even the most lovely loving ones so there's a little competition going on there's stress i need to you know get the right gift but also sometimes people use gifts to influence each other you know so the example i give is you know your brother-in-law who loves crossfit and he's going to make sure he gets you barbells for christmas well you know what if you just what if what