text:  and that if I came with him to Wildwood, he'd personally make sure I had a good time. I'll get you eld really good, he wrote, like a blood oath, in my 1986 high school yearbook. That's eld, as in the letter L. And getting eld seemed important, especially if I was going to be giving my life over to the Torah, a text that placed greater emphasis on getting seed, as in circumcised. And so, I went to Wildwood. And now I was back...