text:  So many people that Joy met were like Bob, messy in the ways they talked about gender and eager to connect and learn. So why didn't we encounter more ill will? If that's what they want to do, I mean, that's their business. I don't have a problem with that. If they can live with it, I can live with it. I mean, it ain't bothering me, whatever they do. I met Thomas when he was having lunch at a McDonald's with his daughter Heather. They're from a tiny rural town in southern Georgia.