text:  My old boss, Mike, was creepy too. Mike always wore sunglasses and a red, skin-tight bathing suit that, for some reason I could never quite fathom, always appeared to be wet. My friend Evan said that it was unwholesome how Mike's arms were so short. He's like a T-Rex, Evan said. The first time Mike paid me, he had to get all crooked to get his wallet out.