text:  It gave me permission to say, it's not me, it's these laws. And for the first time, I said, I want out. Though Julia wanted out, she couldn't tell anyone and she couldn't walk out the door. So on the sly, Julia started educating herself. This meant watching TV, reading books, and just catching up on how the outside world worked. But despite her preparation, it wasn't straightforward and it wasn't easy. In fact, Julia's mental health deteriorated.