 he ultimately that dark cloud is going to be hovering back over and over you and she says yes that's exactly right and i'm like okay well tell me about this and tell me about that and we quickly find out that it's like well we work hard and i just don't want to you know that i want to be able to do this and i want this and i feel like i should have this and i feel like we need to be able to do this because of x y and z so you can quickly realize and i i asked her i said okay