 that he creates instead you can just stand back and watch this thing and be sad about it it's kind of sad there's two there's young children being affected but you didn't cause any of it and your husband didn't cause any of it so it's just it's just you know you can start a pen pal relationship with those siblings you can invite them out for you know camp jenna once a year i mean y'all can figure out ways to be in connection with them because i do get that heartache