 to build trust it takes a little while to uh sharon at first didn't believe she had a vote even though you told her hey you've got to vote you've got to show her with your actions she had to you know she had to experience it for a while because for a long while she didn't have a vote and i just did whatever flip i want to do and so you know we've been married 43 years she said you know somewhere around 35 of them are awesome