 This dashing and handsome duke, I play. The story is about this duke and his futile, tragic love for a girl of the people, a commoner. You see, noblemen can never marry commoners. It'd kill the racket. Now, now the house lights dim, Maestro Milton de Lug, our conductor, gropes his way to the podium, and we hear the overture to the duke of Dittendarton.