loss of checkbook ability maybe it's my own denial but i've told you i have i'm totally convinced that my mom does not have memory problems she called me the other day and says i can no more get this checkbook to balance than anything well mikey close eye on my budget and finance on the good pension finance there would be a reason for that i was raised by a mother and father that are good but in finance people so for her to lose control of this checkbook is interesting so she says maybe next time you're in town you can look at this and see if you can straighten this out okay so i'm impressed with the fact that she's lost control of the checkbook but look at what she does with that she says will you look at it for me that's a very non demented thing to do most people with dementia have lost control of the checkbook and if you ask to see it they'll come unglued on you no i'm not gonna show you my checkbook my checkbooks flying he's seen here help me out with us so i look at her checkbook i said well did you add in your three hundred dollar-a-month slush fund will know why what i do that because i five not spending that yet my someone on that would be money that you don't show that you have that the bank which show that you have by the way she was off by about eight hundred dollars the bank said she had a developed more than she said she'd i said well how much is in your slash font and she says fifteen hundred dollars well now i'm really concerned because now the banks not telling her she's got eight hundred more she's actually lost nine hundred so i go looking for this nine hundred she has certain bills that are sent directly to the bank like for utilities etcetera she gets those in in the mail she subtract some from burbank that balance when she gets in the mail and then when the checkbook when the bank statement comes out to her she sees the banks pay ten she's tracks again so that's that's going subtracted twice and her two hundred dollars a month to blue cross blue shield for thai implant that goes directly the bank insurance attracted that for the last eight or nine months okay so she's got three dollars for the slush fund the two hundred data every month is getting used up because she's not writing or blue cross blue shield so im i'm getting the straightened out but it occurs to me that one of the reasons that she's lost control of the checkbook is that she has in fact managed to create such a complicated system that nobody can handle this i mean this is taking me twenty minutes of intense concentration to figure out what's going on here well if i'm doing twenty minutes of intense concentration i can't be surprised if she's not able to set out to do this so she's put together a system at a time when she should be simplifying a system that so complicated that she sort of lost control of it you know so i got all straightened out for her took away the slush fund because it really didn't exist anyway i was just in our mind because she'd use most of that up and then for the next two months what i've heard was well i used to have that slush fund interviewed further away from it i hated being an only child when i was growing up absolutely hated it now that i have an eighty seven-year-old mother i love it i watch way too many families that have brothers sisters of somebody makes a decision everybody jumps and second-guessing i don't have a second guessing going on you know i mean mom and i make the call and that's what we're stuck with them there's nobody calling me saying i can't believe you told mom to do that i appreciate what i like it number five getting lost in familiar surroundings or putting things in the wrong place got a really i'd always put things the wrong place i try to follow a place for everything and everything in its place but i messed that up i got here today you don't have an extension cord apparel and left it in 