like almost oppressions like the sixers it with loneliness you know just ceiling crappy by yourself all the time because you knew have all these accomplishments i have all these things i've done with my life goes on like me they got to take a dark cloud but you know it's policy around like you know natan duck tales enough and and that's what it felt like it but i couldn't get away from that clout and that's our no matter what i did nothing would help in everyone around tells you bugs do yourself a meadow fix everything and you like a tried that for the last forty some years it's not helping the journey you go on has its share of ups and downs it things that come to minor like when you know you're going that painters you know near you're really going out there glamoc six nights a week you're really trying to do to cram twenty-plus years of social experience in july two years right right and and and doing you when you do that sometimes you you lose focus is sometimes you circuit doubt yourself and there were several points where 