First, there is the surprise most people have when they realize that love may cause fear, because the impression we have is that everyone is always trying to find that intense loving partnership, to fall in love with and live that intense experience of passion between two people it is true that people dream of that encounter the encounter that is usually based on similarities and this intensity, that causes so much fear, is a sign an actual sign that a this individual made an actually good choice of partner, has a good quality of relationship but the unexpected causes fear, and such a fear may manifest itself in serveral different ways the person starts waking up much earlier, frightened, loses the apetite sometimes eats just a bite and fees extremely full, so much this person had to eat, it is a state o alert, feeling the hear beating, and the heart never beats for love, but fear. and this whole fear that is encountered in a romantic relashionship is an unexpected suprise that may be perceived as being very threatning and unfortunately, this feeling frequently ends up being too strong and if people are not aware of it and the mechanisms available to deal with it, one may lose this whole romantic experience which is a dream very much longed for a strong wish people have, to have a romantic relationship with quality so love causes fear, specially when that romantic relationship is really good that is, that partner we met is everything we always wished for or have that feeling, that partner has everything we always hoped for. fear of love has many ingredients so these may be the main ingredients the first feeling people have connected to love is the fear of suffering because it is true that if one is very attached to another person, the break up will definetely be muchy harder and every strong relationship shows a possibility of a serious break up and this break up may resemble those first birth feelings, of being separated fromt he mother, so, all these strong feelings that lead to that state of abandonment and very very intense suffering, that one may be lost in this world the second one is the fear of losing individuality that is, we get so attached to the other person, that is seems that our individuality is fading away and we start merging into one another, so we would be losing individuality which should be a much smaller fear if similarities are strong because in the end, we would be losing our individuality but merging with someone that is very similar to us, so indivuality is no so much at risk now, when there are too many differences between partners individuality is at a much lower risk, apparently, because we would not actually merge with a person whose characteristics fascinate and generate the encounter, so the effects, that is, those things that bother us on the other person, because the higer the differences, the higher th number of things that may creat that separation so naturally, in relashionships between very different people, there are some attraction factors and some repulsion factors which creats a less balanced relationshio than the one in which similarities are higer where attraction factors are higher, creating that higher threat to individuality and there is a higher fear, the more unexpected one, that is the fear of happiness, becasue the relationship feels so good that it brings the sensation that will attract a tragedy that a lightening bolt will fall over our heads and the fear of happiness is part of people's use of words this is too good to be true 