And what it was, was that if I roughly took all the people I interviewed and divided them into people who really have a sense of worthiness--that's what this comes down to, a sense of worthiness-- who have a strong sense of love and belonging and folks who struggle for it, who are always wondering if they're good enough, there was only one variable that separated the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging and the people who really struggle for it, and that was, that people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they are worthy of love and belonging. 