And  you know I, I actually had phrases like bra burning thrown at me  and erm   I  I said that feminism to me is  about having the same opportunities as men and I put few of the phrases er er you know along those lines and so everybody round the table said well yes I believe in that too, I said well then you're feminists and so it's about valuing or devaluing words as well and you know you just made the point about changing words, but how far do we go with this?