they desperately want a child between them and to them a child that is born by the mother but is from a different origin than than the partner is  is the next best thing an , and most of the couples, and we don't advise them that this should all be kept secret, we leave that decision to be something that they will  erm, come to later on when the child is older, and many of these couples will decide that this child will be brought as their own biological child, and I don't really see that as being any different  than many relationships where children are conceived out of wedlock, or out, with the relationship and people make a a a decision to keep this  erm to themselves.