the end of the last straw you see, so I went in the Co-Op and I felt really, really fed up, I said I oh I said I could cry I said because I've tried so hard I said not for lending you money I said, I'm not meant to have any sodding luck so got a couple of bits and I really couldn't get me act together and on the Tuesday dad's gone in hospital with that fit, so I was thinking of him a lot and I thought I don't know dad, you know I'm sure, I'm sure that he weren't gonna come out when he went in there, I thought they were gonna bloody find something with you boy and that would be it, so I come home here and I ain't done no work, so I started off for work, both sitting here bloody bawling cos this house looked like shit, spoke to me sister on the phone and er I felt a bit better so I thought oh I'd start doing the tree, so I pulled it all to bits in here, got the polish and duster out, put all the bread and everything for Alan's sandwiches, it'd be about oh, about half past twelve and the bloody phone went it was mum, she said Lyn do you think you can come up to the hospital with me, cos I've got no transport and so I said what's up then mum?