I suppose this is erm, a caricature, a self portrait  this little, I, in fact I was, really actually hilarious as I felt that, I, I, don't actually know an awful lot about Gaugin, but if, if I knew nothing about him at all, I would of thought he was having a bit of joke of himself with this, but er, being the person that he was I can't image that he had that quality, that, I don't believe he would be laughing at himself, erm, erm, the symbolism erm and conflict of this painting its dazzles me more than, than the colour or at least as much as the colours in it, but there's a, there's a half eaten, well it isn't half eaten, but there's half an apple at the top and, and that was the, the way into me finally, for, for writing about this, this again is a shopping list, I call it a shopping list, this is just visual images that, that will be opened out at some point and turn it into something, and my images were erm  Shoulders of the matador smoking snakes, dare to bit an apple, see one half gone and still I wear a halo intact , that I'm sure I've completely wrong about him as a, a person, but as the painting that's obviously something else, erm, I found that one of the things that were he's, I, I think probably that everybody who writes is that you'll come to a point when you can't write, you stop writing, you haven't got anything you want to write about, or your frightened of writing, and I devise exercises so that , that doesn't happened to me, I think writing is like any skill you have to keep doing it to be able to do it, its, you, some of it is a game and the rest of it is hard work, and one of the exercises I, I delighted using erm a portrait of a woman erm, its about erm the er still life, its the back one, yes this one here, I have, I, I hope to use this as a writing exercise I found the, the maths in this and the colour of the piece of fruit in the background, very interesting because most of the colours to me seem a, a lot less vibrant then many of his other paintings, and so they, they attracted me and have a, a strong sense of erm, er a hidden desire in that and so it, to use it as a writing exercise which I intend doing, it will be able about a situation of character's with erm something that's hidden, some desire, I don't, the, not even spoke about to themselves or, or generally, erm I like to sort of say that came from those two little, just this amounts of colour which seemed to be saying such a lot 