I, I mean it may not be right, but it, I mean as I think you can see it has a kind of logic about it, erm and, and i it may be that it, it's not the right explanation, but  the very fact that erm we're suggesting it, I think shows that erm again it's naive to think that motherhood is a kind of er is a one-sided affair where you know mothers sacrifice themselves er for their offspring, because nature demands it.