and my heart went some where else and I think erm, the, the marriage erm, the love in my marriage was definitely killed by an act which my partner did and I would fall into the crimes of passion I think because I mean to, to me he committed the deadly sin of all and that was adultery and I could never forgive him for that and I think that picks up on a lot, many issues which have been raised tonight about you have to have trust in a partnership, you have to give and take and people change and some people can accept all that but I was not willing to do so.