We, one doesn't try to lose things, but they just happen don't they really  I think I appreciate more now, you know when I was, when I was teaching I used to think oh stupid woman she's not, to bring this book in and you know, and now I think oh dear, huh, yeah and you also appreciate the people, I would appreciate now those who managed to do it every day without fail, manage to sort of let, because they must of put themselves out no end to have 