The fear of approaching a girl while not being a lesbian is so real. You're spot on. You want to be flirty and everything but at the back of your head you always have "what if she's not cool with me not being a lesbian". I'm pan, but I kinda gave up on relationships with women (both born women and trans women) quite some time ago, because the amount of "you're gonna leave me for a guy", or constant "are you sure you like girls and it's not a phase?" or "I can' be with someone who is not true to themselves (as in I'm actually a lesbian but I don' want to admit it)" and other bs was just too much. They were never worried about another woman btw, it was always either about men or questioning validity of my sexuality. It's really quite sad, because other than that each of my exes were really strong, confident women. Except when it was about my sexuality.