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开封王海洋王沛禽兽父子 2013.01.04 18:05 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply
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河南维权骗子汪海洋曾因强奸被劳改8年，老婆许建美由于生活没有着落，再加上主要是性欲望很强烈，便干起了卖淫勾当，这在开封很多人都知道。不过也可以理解：一个刚有过性生活的年青少妇，才28岁，要守寡8年，这是根本不可能的哟。汪海洋出监狱后，孩子三岁，名叫汪沛，明摆着不是自己的，这时的汪海洋人人皆知是个强奸犯，离婚了更不好娶, http://forum.book.sina.com.cn/thread-4817828-1-1.html 开封王海洋王沛禽兽父子，所以汪海洋咬牙忍下来了，只是找个不是把老婆打了一顿。不过由于杂交，这个孩子倒是聪明，长的也不是多难看，可能是开封哪个文人的种吧。这孩子从15岁起开始专找富婆包养，并且真找到了一个很有能力的富婆，这个富婆经过活动，把汪沛送到了中国政法大学培养，汪沛付出的代价是陪富婆10年。不过汪佩在陪了5年后不想陪了，富婆恼羞成怒，把这事揭发出来了，唉，其实这种行为是为人所不耻的。
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你自己有权利决定怎么做，只要你下定决心"计划用十年的时间来折腾她"，谁又能去阻挡你呢？前几天看到汪 海 洋在论坛里辱骂海蓝蓝, http://forum.book.sina.com.cn/thread-4817828-1-1.html 开封王海洋王沛禽兽父子，真是感觉这人的卑鄙无耻。国难当头，海蓝蓝正在为献血忙碌，汪 海 洋在此时还不忘记骂人，像这种人、这种行为，值得你去尊重吗？
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汪海洋辱骂别人的方式是：在网上骂别人父女通奸、母子通奸，说别人是骗子等，很多网友保留了证据, http://forum.book.sina.com.cn/thread-4817828-1-1.html 开封王海洋王沛禽兽父子。
我们河南上百人怀着愤怒的心情，投诉一个贵校毕业的学生汪沛。我们之所以认为是贵校学生，是因为其在网上自称是从贵校毕业的。说是中国政法大学法学硕士研究生，受理单位代码：707，学号：2010707006，被国家公费派到德国科隆大学法学院留学，一年国家赞助美金50万，回国后即是副厅级领导。请领导查一下，若不是贵校学生，我们则向公安机关报案；若是，那么我们提供的情况有助贵校领导更加了解这个学生的情况，我们并强烈请求贵校取消汪的留学资格,退回受害人的钱与物，尤其是金印章、古书，追究其相关民事与刑事责任。
汪沛是河南开封市人，其父亲汪海洋，64岁，籍贯山东，现住开封市。此人在80年代因犯罪被公安局劳教过，数年前因报假警被开封市公安局开发区分局拘留。汪海洋对被拘留一次告了5年，后来公安局赔了其5百元。但汪海洋却到处宣传是公安局错误拘留，并大肆宣传自己维权成功。汪海洋儿子的女朋友的朋友有一个亲戚是河南法制报的，为汪海洋策划了一个方案：找一些有律师代理快赢的案子，让汪海洋以免费维权的名义也介入，这样等官司打赢了，就说成是汪海洋的成绩。至于没成功的案子就不提了。
就这样在报道了几次后，汪海洋就拿着报道过自己的报纸以维权为名到处行骗，但凡是被维权过的人都揭发其行骗，汪海洋对揭发他的人大肆辱骂并人身攻击，揭发他的有上百人，他骂的也有上百人。汪海洋辱骂别人的方式是：在网上骂别人父女通奸、母子通奸，说别人是骗子等，很多网友保留了证据。
汪海洋不识字，不懂法律，年老体弱，在上述的一些活动中，需要文字上的东西时，就由其儿子汪佩书写，骂人的语言真是不堪入耳。可能贵校领导认为我们所言不真，那么很好验证：让汪海洋当场书写一份东西，他根本写不出来！就连电脑打字也不会！您可能会说，即使汪海洋不会写东西，但也没证据能证明是其儿子写的啊。那么请贵领导看联系一下当事人，当事人提供的材料会证明一切的。
汪海洋因辱骂人太多，被大河网封杀。由于汪海洋不断在住居地开封市网吧上网发帖，大河网不惜将整个开封市ip封杀数年，由此可见河南人对其憎恨到何种程度！汪海洋为了出名，效仿咬名人的经验，对大河网恶意提起诉讼，结果在郑州市金水区法院门口被愤怒的大河网友们饱揍一顿，后又被网友举报诈骗被110带走，时间为2007年。证明单位：郑州市经八路派出所
汪海洋父子因辱骂女网友张艳琴，被张起诉到郑州市金水区法院。2008年8月5日在开庭时，汪凭着年轻，对女当事人言语恐吓，被村民扇了耳光。
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Cerise sur le g?teau, selon Logitech, la souris serait idéale pour passer facilement les slides dans les présentations Powerpoint.
Passée la première surprise du format – même prévenus, nous sommes étonnés – on découvre avec bonheur le nano-récepteur USB, bien qu'il soit à présent assez classique chez la plupart des fabricants, puis, hélas, nous encha?nons les déceptions.
Devant : le clic gauche. Au milieu du dos : le clic droit et la molette sensitive.
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May be searched ill effects, flash this night the state namely never clear,imagine several folk among the lightning finding and off then block Wei Defeng prevalent offensive?But tonight met apt erupt force and power are not lost apt his drew Bledsoe ,it appears among the novels in order to discern the thunderbolt strike tonight was he made out of embarrassment ,Wade flying up and down ,this namely so beauteous a air intercept !It seems the zone afterward metropolis must never be allowed to visit the UFO over Losangeles to fly .
Wade is never within the state ,Ray Allen Crawford was likewise a successful suppression of today .In we are entire looking before apt the heat can sign some eminent shooter ,heat it amid the summer signing Ray Allen and Lewis two shooters among James and Wade ,attracted opposition defensively outdoor the vacancy opportunity urgently needs the Ray Allen such striker apt grasp .
Unfortunately, Ray Allen today namely not much opportunity, facing the favor chaos Crawford ,Ray Allen closely the personal barricade,this ought be the season hope for the best sixth person direct confrontation among the two .
But at last,the sword namely not a defensive player ,with their vulnerable to touch other vantage,longing adviser apt a agreeable outcome?Crawford efficiency is very high,meantime Ray Allen only apt think of a access apt grasp that only a few scoring opportunities .
James was the drastic as in the past ,he is like a sharp axe among all the teammates apt score when he was a bully,unreasonable open clippers barricade ;but on the additional side of the Griffin namely likewise unreasonable aggression types ,James ax ,Griffin namely a tiger sword,since James was proficient to open the Clippers barricade,so Griffin can likewise be combative staged hack days cut.
In two colossal star combat duration the heat outside likewise activity,Lewis and Battier today efficiency and the feeling is quite comely,the efficiency is quite lofty merely apt raid,the heat apparently need apt do more defensive ,with Lewis apt resist Griffin ,de Andelufei graben :uniform .
And bear take embezzle Minamata quality Ci of  ΨLangat the scene ,and even elliptical sterile Gorgon euryale sage air material bandit estimation amid flash activity given alternatively card ,transported entropy groups fission flash Su material from a pathway aboard a says and heat ?Br / > the original clipper is a mini more bloom all-round aggression mode ,heat up maximum backward he became James one against five James is to be commended.
Brave ?Or to criticize his teammates suck ?When the game enters the critical moment, the heat among one antagonism manner unexpectedly returned to the original Open Singles ,and the clippers is continue to bloom more situation ,everyone can score ,everyone will score .
The aboriginal score was anxious ,instantly pulled personally into 10 separated from the outdoor,Wade worried yet tonight he was not state never his opponent to deter too died without scoring opportunities yet Wade when the timing is a huge problem should never strike the ball was hit so attempt apt common shot selection can assistance narrow-minded the gap among the score ?And the abbreviation of the basket surrounded a migrate that likewise is never advisable,the Clippers among outside scoring competence namely too strong outside a zone want be the Clippers out ,inside the rebound too robbed yet the clippers ,does that actually depend on James a person apt complete always tasks? Unfortunately James even super star ,can not become a global star ,he can score ,can rebound ,can justify can assist,yet never leading the heat at Staples away victory tonight .
State of extreme misgiving Tonight by Staples situation, James seemed apt be only a burn,and the huge waves he jolt and crumble ,and prefer maximum random battle scenes of Crawford completely broke ,Ray Allen entirely suppressed ,even the cast strip process ,even fight with rob,severely among the heat wound and a the salt , http://www.kjopevesker.com/mulberry-vesker-c-17.html Mulberry Vesker.
Unable to continue to advocate James especially lonely and helpless watch,he namely the best description afresh along the opponent scores broken hundred ,the defending the road speed up intricate.
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The divorce rate stands at 50%, effecting more than 1 million children in the US each year. The counselors at Discovery Counseling note a cultural change in the attitude toward divorce, and the factors effecting children involved in a divorce.
Child development patterns and developmental theories, while helpful in counseling, must be viewed within the changing circumstances of society. For example, Freud first published his theories in the early 1900s when divorce was not viewed as a socially acceptable option and the number of children dealing with blended families was relatively small.
The acceptability of divorce has changed dramatically over the last 30 years. In the early sixties, divorce, step families, remarriage were not terms that were widely heard. Today nearly half of all babies born today will spend some time in a one-parent family. Societys change in attitude regarding divorce can be seen in TV programs. Families in the 50s were represented by shows such as Ozzie and Harriet; Leave it to Beaver and Father Knows Best. These programs presented a view of families, which consisted of a middle class two parent, mother stays at home and the father is the sole financial provider family. Todays programs today range from Murphy Brown in the 90s, a single working woman who had a child out of wedlock to Reba a divorced mother dealing with child visitation and step family member issues.
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For kids of divorce, adapting to a life of low income has a great impact on their lives. Financial constraints have been shown to cause the major caregiver parent to return to work, to increase the number of work hours, to take on a second job, or to attend night school to improve his/her job skills. Thus, the parent becomes less available to the child physically and emotionally because the parent is away from the home most of the day. When the parent is home, he/she has little time and energy left to give the adequate attention to the child. For the child, less income also means a loss in the opportunity to participate in activities like lessons, sports, http://www.yaoflowers.com/online-florist/Changchow-flowers-delivery.asp Changchow flowers, summer camps, movies, and other special interests.
The divorce itself is usually preceded by parental conflict, followed by separation that often leads to internalizing and externalizing behavior problems. Care must be taken to insure that children are not included in the parental conflict. This lack of separation of children and conflict may be the reason why studies have shown that divorce can benefit children whose parents had a high degree of conflict.
All three factors affect children of divorce; the disruption of the family, the change in financial resources and the parental conflict involved in the family system during the divorce.
Cheryl Gowin is a counselor at Discovery Counseling, a center offering marriage, family and individual counseling.
contact@discoverycounseling.org
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从2011年的初四年级开始，学校就强行让学生高价购买质量极差练习册，每套价格从97元至128元不等。而学生后来自行购买的练习册，不但质量好，包含运费后，价钱也仅为30余元钱。
据肇东市姜家中学分校初四一班的学生高某讲，初四大概有近百名学生, http://www.paper-translation.com 翻译公司。从他们上初四开始，学校的老师于湘伦就要求学生购买练习册。“一共让我们买了8次，从开始每套97元钱，到后来的128元钱。老师说了，讲课就讲练习册，不买还念啥书？”
高某是班级的上等生，每套练习册都认真做。“买的这些练习册整体质量差。印刷质量差，一些题看不清楚，写的时候掉色，弄的胳膊上都是铅色。在内容上也经常错误百出，老师讲题时，遇到错题就越过去不讲了。”
由于学生和家长的不断反映，肇东市纪检委介入调查此事。之后，学校就没有再强制学生买练习册。在老师的组织下，学生先后自行购买了3套习册。这些自行购买的练习册，不但纸张好，印刷清晰，价钱还极低。在已包含车费的情况下，每套练习册仅为30多元钱。
教师连夜组织学生焚书毁证
肇东市姜家中学分校违规乱收费的行为遭到家长的不断反映，肇东市纪委介入调查。听闻要来检查，学校老师于湘伦连夜组织学生烧书，书本、练习册之多，竟一夜未烧完。
据初四学生高某讲，他在校内住宿。4月中旬的一天，晚上9点多时，于湘伦老师叫校内住宿的所有学生集合。“他说近期会有来检查的，每年都会有一次这样的检查。”随后，于湘伦老师要求，女生到教室内每个学生的课桌里搜集各种练习册和课外书籍，由男生负责装袋，抬到学校内的锅炉房烧毁。
“当时已经不取暖了，锅炉又重新点着。从晚上9点多一直烧到第二天凌晨2点多都没烧完，还剩下3大袋子练习册呢。”据学生讲，很多练习册还没做完，老师也都让烧了。
假期收费补课学生负担老师打车费
2011年放寒假，肇东市姜家中学分校开始违规补课20天，收费720元钱。这笔钱除了每科80元的补课费，剩下的钱包含学生的饭费、老师打车费和食堂工人的开支。
据学生刘某讲，他们初四放寒假后就开始补课，年前补课12天，年后补课8天，学校收了720元钱的补课费。
这笔补课费是由班主任收的，据老师讲，补课费是每科80元钱，六科共计480元。剩下的240元钱，包含了学生的饭钱，老师上下班的打车费用，食堂工人的开支。
学校乱收费名目繁多
据大量学生反映，学校乱收费的名目很多，价钱也多少不一。记者统计了一下，大的收费项目有练习册费、补课费等；小的收费项目有住宿费、IC卡费、油印费、家教导报费等。
学校要求学生初四住校，而住校的必须交伙食费。初四上学期，住宿费为每人300元；下学期，涨到每人400元。据学生刘某讲，这笔钱是直接交到于湘伦老师手中的。后来纪委检查后，于湘伦把住校的男生单独叫出去，把收取的400元钱住宿费退还，但女生的住宿费没退。
学生孙某说，他家离学校一公里左右，步行十多分钟的路程，也必须住校。另一位姓孙的同学家和学校就隔一条马路，走着上学仅一分钟，也需要交住宿费和饭费。学生普遍反映，饭费从原来的280元涨到现在的400元，菜还不够吃。
学校要求学生必须购买IC电话卡，里面包含10元钱卡费，10元钱话费。纪委查过后，于湘伦让学生和家长签字，证明学校退还了10元钱卡费。“实际上就让我们签个字，钱并没退。”
据学生讲，从初三到初四，每位学生每学期交了3元钱的《家教导报》。“我们谁也没看见过报纸啥样，只知道交了这笔钱，有这么回事儿。”
据学生们回忆，纪委查过后，学校退还了一套117元的练习册钱，退还给每个学生4元钱的玉米芯(引火用的)钱，退还了3元钱的《家教导报》钱，40元的油印费退还了20元，名义上退还了10元钱的IC卡钱。
“跟我们交的2千多元相比，这退还的一百多元钱，简直是太少了。”
乱收费致花季少女失学
肇东市姜家中学分校违规乱收费的行为，直接导致了姜家镇双安村一名16岁女学生失学。
姜家镇双安村张述纯今年53岁，脑血栓后遗症十年，生活不能自理；爱人王秀兰也患有心脏病。女儿晓晓16岁，在姜家二中初四一班就读，上等生。由于没有劳动力，各种农活都需要雇人。除去各种费用，每年土地收入5千多元钱。这笔钱用来张述纯两口子吃药、家庭生活开销和供女儿上学。他家也是村里的特困户，张述纯每年有千元的低保。
5月2日，学校通知交747元的住宿费和课外书费。晓晓回家后跟妈妈要钱。5月3日，王秀兰到学校找到于湘伦，恳求少交或缓交几天。王秀兰说：“于老师当时告诉我，交不起钱就别念了。”
贫穷的自卑，加上交不起费用，晓晓就再也不好意思到学校去了。从未去过哈尔滨市的晓晓，偷偷跑到哈市，准备去打工当服务员。由于年纪小，也没有身份证，没有饭店肯用她。转了几天后，晓晓无奈回家了。
当记者问晓晓是否还想读书，晓晓说能念起当然想读书了。问她今后有什么打算，晓晓长时间沉默不语。当记者想要拍下她家的生活环境时，晓晓哭着不让照。记者收起了相机。王秀兰说，因为家里穷，这孩子可自卑了，自从不去学校后，她性格变的更内向了。
学生称于湘伦老师是学校“一把手”
记者在采访十多位学生过程中，他们提到最多的就是于湘伦老师。于湘伦名为老师，实为学校“一把手”。
据学生介绍，于湘伦原来在学校是数学老师，名义上是年级主任，负责初四年级的日常管理，但实际上却像校长一样。
据学生们介绍，于湘伦在校内开了个食杂店，不允许学生在校外买东西，只能在校内食杂店买，并且价钱比校外的要贵。学校的事于湘伦老师说的算，学校开会，也经常是他讲话。学生背地里都称呼他是“于校长”。
于湘伦：一切都是为了学生
针对学生和家长反映的学校乱收费的问题，肇东市姜家中学分校初四年级主任于湘伦予以全盘否定。他称肇东市纪检委已经调查过他们了，一切都是为了学生。实际上他们学校并没有错，作出了一些整改也是给纪检委一个“面子”。
于湘伦说，肇东市纪检委调查他们学校后，他们给学生退还了4元钱的玉米芯钱；买桌布的十多元钱也退了；《家教导报》是肇东市统一订的，各学校都有任务，这笔钱也退了，算是学校花钱订的。
于湘伦说，只买了两套练习册，学校还没参与这事，都是学生自己组织的，后来纪检委介入后，这笔钱也给学生退了，算是学校买的。寒假补课收费这事也确实存在，但主要是课程讲不完，不补课不行。纪检委介入后，他们也整改了，至于是否退费，学校在等待纪检委的处理结果。“我认为老师也都付出了，退费的问题得和学生商量。”于湘伦说，补课只收了480元，家长反映收了720元是失实的。
关于住宿费的问题，于湘伦解释说，校内住宿原来不花钱，但校内宿舍有限，住不下的学生都在校外住。这样很多人就找关系，想不花钱住校内。为了平衡关系，学校就决定按校外的标准收费，收完费后，过段时间再返还给学生。关于“焚书”的问题，于湘伦称这事儿绝对没有。IC电话卡也是学生自愿买的。
乱收费致学生失学一事，于湘伦称，晓晓读书不好，成绩很差，也不学习，是自己不想念书的。她家长也没来说过要减免费用的事。
于湘伦认为，他们学校没有做错，学生和家长反映的问题都不实。至于肇东市纪检委处理退费的问题，他认为是为了显示学校诚恳的态度，给纪检委一个“面子”，所以才接受处罚。
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湖北中学生集体烧书抗议学校收费泛滥
湖北京山学生烧书抗议乱收费 校长被停职调查
中学校长因违规收费134万被撤职
本报讯(记者冼兴)日前，网友在网上传视频称，三原县城管工作人员执法时，对一售卖煎饼老头进行了殴打。昨日，三原县城市管理监察大队负责人承认视频内容确系该县城管执法时所拍，但其对网友关于“殴打”一说，给予了否认。
最先上传这一视频的，是一网名“计算太多爱”的网友。视频上传于6月13日19时14分。
视频时长1分44秒。视频开头，一名身着浅咖色短裤、浅蓝色T恤的老人头枕右臂躺在路边，至少7名身穿城管工作制服的男子围在一旁。视频第3秒时，其中一名男子弯下腰，动作粗鲁地试图将老人扶起，但未果。
虽然视频有些晃，但依然可以看出，事情引来不少路人围观。
第34秒时，一辆车身标有“城管监察”字样的面包车缓缓驶来，并靠事发点停下。随后，几名男子动作粗鲁地将躺地老人抬上车。
被抬上车时，老人有明显挣扎。其中，在车门处，几名男子将他脚朝上地塞进了车内，并关上了车门。
随后，车辆驶离现场。此外，视频上传后，不少网友通过微博对其进行转载。截至昨日下午记者发稿，该视频共被播放了近7000次。
昨日中午，三原县南郊中学校门前，不少在此经营生意的人证实，几天前，城管确实在该学校门口，同一小商贩发生过争执。
其中一卖凉粉的女士回忆，事发时间为6月12日17时许。事发前，几名当事城管工作人员曾在这里巡逻，并要求小商贩以后不要在校门口摆摊设点。
“大家都忙着撤离没注意，当回过神来时，老人就已经躺在地上了。”该女士说，老人年纪50岁左右，事发前偶尔来校门口卖煎饼。
三原县城市管理监察大队副大队长严向伟表示，早在记者之前，他们就已从网上查看了这一视频内容，并承认视频确系执法人员工作时所拍。“但事后询问当事执法人员，绝对没有动过手，更别说殴打了。”
那视频中老人是怎么躺倒在地的呢？严向伟说：“他是自己躺倒在地的。”
对于网友有关城管执法过于“粗暴”等质疑，严向伟称，由于事情还在进一步的调查处理阶段，与之相关的情况，他不方便评价, http://www.acmetranslation.com 上海翻译公司。
“既然还在调查阶段，怎么就能下结论工作人员没有动手呢？”对于记者的这一疑问，严向伟没有给出正面答复。
来源：今日咸阳
Linfen florist 2013.01.30 15:44 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply
As the economy is in trouble nowadays and people are leaving homes to shift to rentals, redesigning your house a little bit may payback if you want to rent the place sometime in the near future. It would be wise to start with kitchens as this is where people find a lot of variety and a good-looking kitchen can make or brake a deal. However, you need to take into consideration our modern way of life when you choose to renovate.
Most importantly, see that your kitchen dé, http://www.yaoflowers.com/online-florist/Linxia-flowers-delivery.asp Linxia florist;cor match with rest of the house. If the polish on your kitchen cabinets is significantly different than that on your room doors, that won't give a good impression of your choice. Similarly, make sure that lighting and colors are a good match to the rest of the rooms, especially to the passage near the kitchen. In addition, Formica is pretty much out of fashion now and countertops are fast becoming a norm. Countertops made of marble or granite look fascinating and change the overall look of your kitchen. However, they are not oil-proof and can also get stains sometimes if you don't clean the surface often. If you can find stain-resistant countertops for a good price, then that would be the best thing to have for a long-lasting renovation. Now come to brightness and how to use proper lighting to make your kitchen glow. Most people go for a single source of light that's usually placed on the top. Whilst this could be normal for the remainder of the house, it does not yield a great cooking experience. Fluorescent bulbs are quickly losing their appeal unless you want to use energy savers. Alternatively, recessed lights can be utilized for both purposes: they brought light into the kitchen in a very aesthetically pleasing way. To have the best appearance, you shall go for pewter lights.
Finally, don't forget the space you walk on, I mean the kitchen floor. For the best look, choose flooring that contrasts with the rest of the kitchen. This will make the floor stand out in a positive manner. Porcelain tiles and terracotta floors are hot trends nowadays.
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Qinhuangdao florist 2013.01.30 15:44 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply
The backyard is used mostly during the summer. The weather is warm and most people like to be outside enjoying the season. That is where you probably would end up too. To make your time memorable and enjoyable during those months of warm temperatures, here are a few things you can do with your whole family.
Everybody has to eat and most people enjoy a meal outdoors whether it be lunch, breakfast, or dinner. You could think about having your next meal cooked outside on the grill. If you dont have a grill you can check the numerous models on the market today. You can get a cheap charcoal grill for no more than thirty dollars.
If a barbeque in your backyard is too cumbersome for your family, you could try a picnic. Simply prepare the meal in the kitchen and bring it outside to enjoy. There are so many traditional picnic foods to choose from such as subs, coleslaw, salads, sandwiches, cookies, crackers and pretzels but you can have whatever you want. Make sure to have plenty of water about you, if the weather is hot you would need to avoid dehydration.
Another activity you can participate in during the summer months is swimming. This is a perfect family pastime because all ages enjoy the pool. It could last most of the day and you could create wonderful memories. For those who dont have a pool and cant afford one it doesnt matter, there are plenty of other things a family can do in the backyard.
You can engage in all sorts of water games. If you buy some water guns or a water sprinkler or make some water balloons everybody would enjoy themselves and it would be a chance to cool off a little, http://www.yaoflowers.com/online-florist/Chaozhou-flowers-delivery.asp Chaozhou florist. These items can be brought anywhere, at a retail store or online and they dont cost too much.
If your family is more interested in sports you can set up a basket ball or a volley ball hoop in your backyard. It may cost more than you are thinking of spending but it will last for a long time and you will get a lot of use out of it. If you cant afford that, think about games such as soft ball or kickball which are less expensive.
Backyard camping is a great way to end your day with the family. People of all ages will enjoy it, especially families with small children. You are not so far away from home if there is any emergency, it doesnt cost as much, it is an unforgettable experience. You can buy a tent and other equipment for an affordable price if you dont have one already.
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Xiangxiang florist 2013.01.30 15:45 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply
A babysitting co-op, sometimes called babysitting club or cooperative, is just a group of families in a community who decide to share the task of babysitting by swapping time with each other rather than charging money. In that way the members of the coop can get access to occasional child care services without having to be concerned about the high cost of or risk of using a paid babysitter.
There are many benefits to this approach to childcare. For starters it is easier and less expensive than regular babysitting. Also, rather than relying on one or two carers that may or may not be available you have access to perhaps as many as 10 or 20 families, which can make it much easier to find someone in a hurry.
For those without close family nearby, a coop can be a very valuable way to get away for a few hours without the children to spend with their partner or on a date night without the added cost of child care.
Lastly, with the cost of day care spiraling up, some people are using babysitting coops to provide regular day care for a day or two a week. Getting a child into day care for just a day a week or for occasional days can be very difficult but sharing the task amongst several families can make it much easier.
There are very few drawbacks to babysitting coops and perhaps the only one is the task of managing the process. For instance the role of the secretary can be quite demanding. There are however some new ways round this issue, see below for more information.
There are two basic approaches to running a co-op. The first uses paper based "babysitting money." Each unit equates to a fixed unit of time. Families then contact each other directly to arrange and pay for the sit.
The second types swaps points, say 4 points for each hour of sitting, http://www.yaoflowers.com/online-florist/Jinzhou-flowers-delivery.asp Jinzhou flowers. A secretary books the sits and keeps track of the point transactions. Both systems can function well but most groups opt for the points approach.
Co-ops often elect a rotating secretary. If a member requires babysitting, the secretary is phoned requesting a sitter for a certain time and date. The secretary calls members and locates a sitter as close to the member's house as possible, attempting to find a sitter who owes points. The secretary then calls the member and sets up the sitting arrangement.
After the care has been provided, both member and sitter agree on the number of points and these are reported to the secretary who records them. Points are earned by being a sitter and providing care. Points are spent by using a sitter to care for your children.
Starting your coop
There are two main success factors in starting a new coop
1. When starting your coop you need to make sure you have a clear set of rules so that everyone knows how the process will work. Rules to consider include:
* How small/large can the co-op can become: a minimum of five and maximum of 25 are generally judged to be the best.
* How will new members be introduced?
* Starting points for each family.
* How many hours is each point worth?
* Minimum points below which a family is not allowed to request a sit.
* How will the booking process operate?
You will probably also want to have medical authorization forms available so that families can formally authorize the sitting family to undertake emergency medical treatment if required.
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When looking for members of your co-op it is best to find other families that have similar parenting practices and life values to yourself. There a lots of places to look including your local playgroup, school/pre-school, child care center, parents and citizens clubs, church, neighbors, and the childs sporting or activities clubs.
One last thing to consider when setting up your co-op is the idea of using it for swapping more than just babysitting. Perhaps you can also use it for car pooling to childrens activities or looking after your pets when you go away. Once youve got the people and process together there are lots of other time and money saving uses for your coop.
Shiyan florist 2013.01.30 15:45 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply
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Manning Home Jersey 2013.02.01 19:43 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply
猴子与卫兵
两个画家夫妇都有婚姻出轨的记录，互相都不信任，有一天丈夫出门，妻子唯恐丈夫
走私，於是便在他的性器官上画了两支小猴子，而丈夫则不甘示弱，亦在妻子的私处
画一个小卫兵，说：「你好好的替我守门。」
当天晚上，丈夫回家，妻子脱下丈夫的裤子加以检查，发现两支猴子固然还在，但是
位置却不对了。
妻说：「这两支猴子的部位不对，不是我早上画的两支，看来你又背著我去乱来了
丈夫辩说：「明明就是这两支猴子，你是在找我麻烦。」
妻子说：「我那两支猴子所在的部位比较低，在靠近草丛里，呶！现在都快到头了
．．．．」
丈夫强辩：「猴子会爬树的，早上它们在草丛里，现在爬上树顶也没什堋稀奇。」
於是，他开始检查妻子，却发现原先画的那个小卫兵，是在大门左边站岗，如今变成
了右边，顿时大怒，骂道：「你这贼淫妇，还敢跟我吵？这个卫兵虽被你画得很像，
但是你却把方向画错了，原来在左边，现在到了右边．．．」
妻子说：「守门的卫兵不是换岗的吗？他走到了右边也没错啊！」
丈夫大怒：「胡说八道。」
妻子冷笑道：「只许你的猴子会爬树，就不许我的卫兵换岗？你才岂有此理呢！」
黑色的.....
一天小清到药房买保险套,老板摆出了所有的样示他都不喜欢
小清只有指名要黑色的........
老板不解的说:现在花样那麽创新,你为什麽只有要黑色的呢???
小清不好意思的说:没有啦!!!最近我有个好朋有去世了....
我买黑色的保险套是要好好的安慰他的遗孀的.....
正名活动
高雄爱河边的"神女"一日来到市议会要求给他们一个
妓女::我们要用新的名称---->>妓者..
此时原本在旁的记者们勃然大怒...
你们是"欢迎来稿"...我们也是欢迎来”搞＂呀！！
某大学中文系正在上『说文解字』，今天讨论的是『男』字。教授问大家一个问题：
「为什么男"上面"是一个田字呢？」 「因为男人要负责种田嘛！」，阿辉回答。「很
好」，教授点点头、继续问道：「那为什么"下面"有一个力字呢？　阿芳，你来回答
看看。」 阿芳想了一会儿，然后结结巴巴的说：　「男人下面没有力还能叫男人
小莉看见小华的小鸡鸡,就问这是什么小华说,我也不知道.我去问问老师吧.老师告诉
小华,你看好了,这是小孩的鸡巴.说这又掏出自己的家伙,这是大人的鸡巴. 小华跑去
告诉小莉老师说了,这是小孩的鸡巴.老师还说比这小点的就是大人的鸡巴
一位可爱的少女,在午餐时间去看医生,在诊所育到一名穿白衣英俊潇 的年轻 人. 少
女说:『我的肩膀疼了一个礼拜,你能帮我看一下吗?』 这名白衣年轻人说:『你躺在床
上,我来替你按摩.』 几分钟後,少女大叫:『呀~~!医生!这里不是肩膀啊!』 年轻人笑
着说:『我知道,不过我也不是个医生!』
公马与母马哪只跑得较快? 公马~快马加鞭
叁个男人，死後一同到了天堂门口。圣．彼得在这里欢迎恭候：“欢迎各位有幸升入
天 堂。天堂太大，你们每位都需要有自己的交通工具，我这就发给你们。” 圣．彼
得对第一个男人说：“你一生荒淫无度，对你妻子 为不忠。好在晚年有所收敛 ，就
只能给你一辆山地自行车了。”　圣．彼得对第二个男人说：“你比上一位老实多
了，也就只有为数不多的几次沾花惹草 的行为，但你这样的也只配免强发给你一辆低
档汽车。” 圣．彼得对第叁个男人说：“你是一位难得的好男人，你一生对你妻子忠
心至诚，恩爱 有加，真是不容易，堪为模范丈夫的典范。为此我将发给你一辆罗尔斯
罗依斯超豪华? 作为你一生忠贞不渝的嘉奖。”　叁人刚要 去，却见得罗尔斯罗依
斯的男人嚎淘大哭了起来。另两个人大惑不解地问他 ：“你得了最好的车，难道还不
满意呀！你哭啥？? 这人答道：我刚刚瞧见我太太了，她正在那边用一个skateboard!
某气象播报员:今天天气晴时多云偶阵雨;北部地区阴晴不定出门恐遇大雷雨;北部朋友出门请别忘了携带雨具.中南部地区
阳光高照紫外线指数偏高;外出时恐有晒伤之虞; 出门时请带阳具.........
大鸟国的四年一度的国王选举又到了,依照惯例,每年都要由自由报名者中选出"OLD
2" 最长者,蓝鸟村中有一个青年,他的"OLD 2"是全村中最长的.於是他便很有自信的到皇宫
去报名.一到皇宫,士兵便将他拦下,问他要作什麽,他说"我要来报名参选国王,士兵笑着
对他说 "哦!!你有这个条件嘛??"他回答"当然!我的'OLD 2'是全村中最长的,足有十
寸长呢!"士兵对他说"那你看我手上拿的是什麽?"哇塞!!士兵拿他的"OLD
2"当枪.当他 失望的要回家时,士兵对他说"不要伤心,年青人,今天就开放皇宫让你参观好了"他进了
皇宫,看到一座雄伟的楼梯,上头有人对他叫"你是谁!"他说他是来参观皇宫的国王候选
人,上头的人说"我是大臣,你参观没关系但是请你的手不要乱摸"他看他的手,哇塞!!他
摸的楼梯扶手原来是大臣的"OLD 2"大臣说"你是候选人的话那麽请你到二楼去觐见国王
吧!"他想既然来了,就看看国王的"OLD 2"有多长好了.他进了国王的办公室,里面的侍从
对他说"进去之後不要吵国王,他正在打到纽约的长途电话"他进去之後,便听到"医生!我
的包皮手术作好了没?"
有一天一个女人走进一家妇产科求诊
她将衣服掀起告诉医生说她胸部很痛
医生一看:哇，果然又红又肿忙问:这怎摸会这样啊
她小声的说: 奶的啦..
医生:哦~这难免的嘛!!第一次都是这样的，久一点应该会习惯的唷~
她把声音压的更低说:不,是奶大人的啦~
有一天，一只小浣熊跑到"妓"艺中心... 然後就偷偷潜入一间"暗索索"的房间~
看到了一个妓女躺在床上..就偷跑过去舔她的下体!! 过了不久，小熊要开溜了...却
被妓女叫住~~
妓女说:"小浣熊，你还没付钱哟~"
小浣熊说:"我为什麽要付钱钱呀???"
妓女於是搬出"辞海"..查阅"妓女"一词给小熊看!!
妓女:"小浣熊，你看..字典上写着...... "妓女"...以性行为交易金钱为职业的人!!
妓女:"所以你要付钱钱...了解吗??"
小浣熊也迅速的将辞海翻到有"小浣熊"的这一面...指给妓女看!! 只见字典上写着"小
浣熊"...."天生喜好吃杂草的动物!!"
A男A女和B男B女两对老夫少妻同时住进 一大饭店的相邻套房度蜜月. B 这对新婚 夫
妇因丈夫年事已高一蹶不振, 所以整晚 冷清至极, 相反地隔壁房间却整晚闹哄哄的.
於是到了隔天早上, B 女便偷偷请教A 女为 何她丈夫年纪更大却仍如此勇猛, 以致昨
晚 房间热闹非凡, 是否有甚麽秘诀. A 女回答 曰" 其实也没甚麽啦! 昨晚我先将我
俩的衣 服脱光让他躺在床上, 然後把他那话儿竖起 , 接着赌它会倒向那一边!! "
小轩觉得自己罪孽深重，所以他决定到教堂去找神父告解。 当他到教堂时,他走进告
解室对神父说。
『神父，我有罪。 『是的孩子，告诉我你做了什麽，上帝会释免你的。』
『神父..我小时候..看见一只小母狗..而且路上没有人.. 所以我很调皮地去摸小母狗
的咪咪..』
『嗯..这没关系..你那时还小..不懂事..小 Case』
神父，我和女友一直有着亲密的关系， 这样已经叁年了从没什麽要紧的事发生。 昨
天，我去她家找她时，只有她妹妹一个人在家，所以我和她 妹妹上床了。』
『孩子,这是不对的，但你还是可以得到神的释免。』
『神父，上个礼拜我到她办公室去找她，但除了一个她女同事 没有其他人在那儿，我
也和她的同事上床了。』
『这实在是很不好的行为。』
『神父,上个月以前,我到她舅舅家去找她, 但只有她舅妈一个人在家，所以我又和她
舅妈上床了。』 ......................
『神父? ......... 神父? 突然男子发觉神父那边没反应, 他走到神父那边发觉神父
不在这儿..所以他开始寻找神父。
『神父?你在哪里?』 他找了又找,终於他在钢琴底下找到神父。
『神父,你为什麽躲在这里呢?』
『抱歉..孩子，我突然发觉这里只有我一个人....
有一天我们班在上国文课的时候 虽然已经下课很久 但老师还是自顾着讲课,一点都没
有下课的意思 终於有一位学生不耐烦的说 : 老师!! 你 "教够" 了没!!
有一位嫖客在和妓女交易完後, 一直称赞这位妓女的技术实在太好了,在那里学来的?
妓女说: 只要客人高兴就好,这些都是我以前在马戏团学来的! 嫖客????问: 马戏团能
够学到这种技术,请问你是表演什麽??????? 妓女说: "吞剑"
话说在成功岭上的有一天......值星班长带着大专女兵在精神答数: 班长:看我们的队
伍 女兵:雄壮威武 班长:听我们的歌声 女兵:响彻云霄 班长:用我们的身体
女兵:赚取外汇 班长:用我们的大腿 女兵:夹死共匪
『爸爸，如果躺在地上，把两腿举得高高的，是不是就可以上天堂了？』
六岁的小明天真的问。
『你在说些什麽？』小明的爸爸听不懂他的童言童语。
小明一本正经的解释道：『昨天我看见妈妈躺在客厅地上，两条腿举的很高，
嘴礼一直喊着“哦！我的天！我的天啊！”，还好有阿成叔叔压在她身上，
要不然的话，我想妈妈已经上天堂了.........』
小朱跟他的女友开著他的新车出去兜风，那是一辆车厢狭窄的流线型小跑车。他车
子停在寂静的路边，经过一阵爱抚后，女孩羞怯地跳下车，跑向附近的一块草坪。但
她发现小朱并没有跟上来时，不禁娇嗔：「在我的热情消失以前，你赶快给我下车!
小朱挣扎了一阵后，沮丧地说：「在我的热情消失以前，我下不了车。」
性感的兔女郎对一位一丝不挂的男人吃吃地笑著。「你是第一次来天体营吗? 」女
郎问「是呀，正是，」他害羞的承认：「你 -- 你怎么知道的? 是我的皮肤太白吗?
「喔，不是，」女郎说：「是它十分的坚挺。」
大人」她回答。「好，那你为甚么不反抗? 」法官问。女核子红著脸，低下头，「我
知道他是要偷我的钱。」她回答。
小韩：「你知道吗? 我和太太结婚后，从来没有和她做过爱。你呢? 」小丁：「偶
尔，当你出差的时候。」
法院正在审理一件命案，性感的应召女郎坐在被告席上。法官：「根据目前的种种
资料，对你十分不利, http://www.csnheats.com/ Clippers Chris Paul Jersey，你有什么话可说? 女郎：「有的，命案的当天我一直躺在床
而且，我至有十六位证人。」
一名法官下令没收一部叫做「一百零一种爱的方式」的影片，原因是内容太过猥亵
，而且 ---- 法官看了第二遍后，叹道：「我只看得懂九种方式。」
在和一对美丽的孪生姊妹其中之一，结婚一年后，丈夫到法院诉请离婚。当法官问
他理由时，他回答道：「因为我太太的妹妹常常到我家来玩，我时常会弄错而与她作
。」法官说：「不过，她们俩个中间总有不同的地方吧! 」「对啊! 这正是我要离婚
一位新来的空中小姐，被传唤到航空公司人员训练总部。「我们得知你第一次的飞
行服务中有段插曲，」女主管训道：「记著，黄小姐，从现在起若有男乘客晕机，我
希望你扶他进医疗室，而不是你的更衣室。」
一位迷人的女郎夏天开著车子到全国旅行，由于天气实在太热，她全身已经香汗淋
漓，开到某个乡下地方时，她看到一座水池，于是她决定停车游个水，凉凉身，她脱
跳进水中，享受几分钟的清凉后，突然发现两位农夫躲在树丛下偷看，由于她的衣服
在水池的另一边，不过靠近她身边有个澡盆，于是她拿起澡盆遮住身子，往那两位农
走去。「你们两个王八蛋难道没别事好做吗? 」她咆哮道：「你们知道我怎么想吗?
「是的，女士，」个子较高的一位说：「你想问我们甚么地方可以补你那浴盆上的大?
础！?
小女孩第一次看到她的弟弟没穿衣服，她困惑的问妈妈：「为什么他有，我却没有
? 」「不要急，亲爱的，」母亲很有技术的回答：「要是你行，长大后会拥有一个，
果你十分行，那就会得到许多个。」
单身汉和他的女友决定去参加乡下俱乐部的化装舞会，会场上每人都需披上唯妙唯
肖的各种动物道具，在地上爬行，进行节目，他们一扮公牛一扮母行玩得倒起劲。然
，一小时过后，单身汉开始厌烦，建议到附近透透空气，于是他们偷偷的爬出园子，
免引起注意，仍著牛装爬到附近农场，途中他们碰上了一只土产的大公牛，它似乎看
了他的女友。女孩子不知所措的问道：「怎么办? 我们。」「我。。。。我到别的地
吃草，」当凶悍大公牛逼近的时候单身汉脸色惨白：「可。。。。可是我看你最好还
身子弯低点跟它敷衍一下。」
有一个男人带著女孩子驾车兜风，离城七公里后，他向她求爱，她拒绝了，而且还
下车步行回家。第二天晚上，这个男人再邀她外出，离城十二公里时，他又向她求
她又拒绝了，同时又下车步行回家。第三天，他把车子开离城三十公里外向她求爱，
终于答应了，几番亲热后，他禁不住好奇问她干嘛这次肯答应。她说：「我可以自个
步行七公里甚至十二公里回家，以免我的朋友遭受淋病之灾，但三十公里实在是太远
一位女秘书被一家广告公司解雇，原因是她在老板的办公桌上和设计主任达成性关
系，举发人是公司的办事员。于是她向法院控诉办事员诽谤，办事员在法庭指称，在
板桌上，女秘书的头是搁在桌台上面，穿著长□的腿则离开桌台，公司的其他女孩子
证实这项指控，她们说，女秘书是个荡女，身著撩人的迷你裙，当她弯下身子，男人
能看到她粉红色的内裤。但法官听了对质后，判决：美丽的女秘书不可能在那长狭的
上用这种方式做爱，办事员诽谤须缴纳罚金十万元。
在加州欧罗维尔的一宗强暴案件中，年轻的原告对回答「在展开攻击之前，被告对
你说了什么? 」怠到很困扰，她宁愿写在纸条上代替口头回答，法官同意。在笕了纸
后，法官要首席陪审员把纸条在陪审团间依次传递。有一位男陪审员从开始就在打瞌
，突然被隔壁一位的女陪审员推醒，并传给他一张纸条，上面写的是：「我要让你享
前所未有的高潮。」他慢慢地看，禁不住泛起微笑，然后把纸条塞进裤袋里。当法官
他再传递给下一位陪审员时，他严正的拒绝，说：「这是私人的事，法官大人。」
某古堡主要远行他方，为了避免别人染指他那漂亮的太太，他在他太太隐蔽的地方
装了一把刀片。堡主远行回来以后，发觉他九个仆人中，八个变成了太监，另外一个
较幸运 -- -- 变成哑巴。
男孩和女孩在舞会中相遇，虽然她让他送回家，但不答应和他好。女孩说：「听好
，和我在一起的男孩需具备两个条件 ---- 一辆至少十二尺长的宾士轿车，和一种至
十二寸长的工具。」男孩说他办到，然后回来找她。三天后，男孩来了，骄傲地指著
停在一的新轿车。正当女孩几乎不敢相信之际，他靠过去告诉她：「至于另外一件
医生说他可以缩小到你所需要的长度。」
一位年轻人热恋著一个惹火女郎，他很想向她求婚，可是由于他身体那部份发育不
全，他有点自卑，所以不敢开口。有一天晚上，他带她到一个很黑暗的地方，把那个
在她手里看她有什么反应，她说：「对不起，我不抽烟的。」完毕
有一天,来了一台性机器,
甲乙丙三人想试试看谁那里较厉害.
甲就先把自己的放进去,电脑就说:你的家庭会很幸福.
乙也把自己的放进去,电脑说:你的家庭会很美满.
丙也不甘示弱,把自己的也放进去,
电脑说:先生,请不要把牙签放进来开玩笑.
一位胖男子走进号称保证 3 天减掉 20 公斤,
否则退钱的瘦身机构, 问清楚保证内容后,
胖男子便签下合约,
并且预约隔天开始减肥课程.
隔天, 美丽的职员带领胖男子到一间大房间,
里头有位一丝不挂的黑发美女, 脖子上挂了张牌子:
美色当前, 胖男子当然绕著房间一路追赶美女,
跑了好一阵子终于逮到了黑发美女, 顺利的玩了 3 次. 第 1
天, 他减掉了 4 公斤 !
第 2 天, 美丽的职员又带领胖男子到另一间更大的房间,
里头有位一丝不挂的金发美女, 脖子上挂了张牌子:
有了昨天的愉快经验, 胖男子自然更加努力追赶,
也是一阵追逐之后很顺利的玩了 5 次. 第 2 天, 他又减了 6
不论今天的美女多么妖艳动人, 我就是不跑, 等你退钱,
美丽的职员今天带他到一间小房间,
胖男子正在狐疑怎么换成小房间了,
只见到房内有一只母猩猩, 脖子上挂了张牌子:
有一个黑人困在沙漠中三天都没水喝，
就在他快死的时候，他向上帝许三个愿望，
第一个是下辈子能天天有清水喝，
第二个是下辈子能成为白种人，
第三个是下辈子能天天看女人的屁屁，
上帝答应了他，
======> 于是他下辈子就变成马桶了!!!
James Harden Swingman Home Jersey 2013.02.19 10:28 신고 Address Modify/Delete Reply
614 老师：“鱼为什么只能在水里生活？”学生：“因为陆地上有猫。” 0
613 老师问小五：“你知道布谷鸟有什么用处？”小五答：“布能裁衣，谷能当粮，鸟能供我们玩。” 0
612 老师问：“铁放在外面，常和空气接触，就会生锈。那么金呢？”学生答：“会被偷。” 0
611 老师：“你们注意了没有？闪电老是在雷声之前。”学生：“这是再简单不过的事了。人们的眼睛不都是长在耳朵的前面吗？” 0
610 老师：“彼得，你为什么老是把一只耳朵捂住？”彼得：“你不是说，我在听课时，总是一只耳朵进，一只耳朵出吗？我堵的是出的耳朵。” 0
609 A君洗完澡回宿舍，脱下背心一看，大惑不解：“昨天明明是三个窟窿，怎么今天成两个了。”上铺漫不经心答：“很简单，一个破产以后被另两个兼并了。” 0
608 一年级的小学生上课无精打采，老师提醒大家：“请大家拿起精神来！”于是学生开始在书包里翻起来，最后有位学生举手问：“老师，请问哪个才是精神？” 0
607 一个学生在课堂上吃糖，被老师看见，说：“不能在课堂上吃糖。”那个学生说：“这不是糖，是药，我患的是低血糖。” 0
606 小明：“当老师真好。” 老师：“好在那里？” 小明：“看漫画、打电动都不用花钱，只要‘没收’学生的就行了！” 0
605 语文课，老师叫起一昏睡同学回答问题，该同学迷迷糊糊啥也说不出…… 老师说：“你会不会呀？不会也吱一声啊！”该同学：“吱。” 老师汗。 0
604 数学老师提问学生：“六乘九是多少？” 学生加答：“54” “记性真好老师夸奖后接着又问九乘六是多少？” 学生大声说：“45” 0
603 上海某中学，有位老师给学生出了一道作文题目：上海一角。 有一个学生不假思索就挥笔疾书：“今天的上海，一角钱连半片薄面包都买不到！！” 0
602 大一女生-篮球：大家抢着投；大二女生-排球：来了才去接；大三女生-躲避球：能躲尽量躲；大四女生-足球：大家踢着走。 0
601 学校澡堂不够用，为解决这个问题，校长决定让男女学生看电影分流，说：“上午男生洗，女生看；下午女生洗，男生看！ 0
600 班会上班长表扬同学：男同学抄女同学，女同学抄男同学，只有一个同学没有抄，就是坐在最后一排的杨伟同学。 0
598 春来不是读书天，夏日炎炎正好眠；秋有蚊虫冬又冷，要想读书等明年。 0
597 石竹山文武邪校外表嫖亮。10个教练个个蠢蛋。教出学生个个“好样”，五毒俱全无人能比，如此学校真如“邪校”。 0
595 某男苦恼无女友，遂将蓄胡全部刮掉，女同学见：你改什么形象呀，你以为你是周星驰呀？ 0
594 考试如此多，引无数英雄竟折腰，昔情皇汉武，略输文采，堂中书虫，稍逊风骚；具往矣数风流人物全部补考。 0
593 宿舍楼下某女大喊把我钱包扔下来过一会见楼上飞下行李背包等物，这时楼上传来一声吼：我没找见你自己找吧。 0
592 分不在高，及格则行，学不在深，能抄则灵，斯是教室，唯吾静心，学习上不去，音乐课上听，渴了有雪碧，困了去迪厅， 0
591 跳舞太累、唱歌很贵、不如来个同学会，怀念校园滋味，避免单身心碎，互相信息反馈，撮合几对是几对！ 0
590 新生军训，连长说：“一班杀鸡，二班偷蛋，我来做稀饭，明白了吗？”原来是：一班射击，二班投蛋，我来作示范。 0
589 考试如此多焦，引无数考生尽通宵。惜秦皇汉武，胆子太小，唐宗宋祖，不得不抄。一代天骄，成吉思汗，最后都把白卷交。 0
588 老师让班长检查：穿背心短裤的同学不得进入教室。班长无奈地对老师说：“他们都不愿意把衣服脱了让我看！” 6
587 校长视察校运动队。见到教练关心地问“成绩怎么样”教练：50米已达到6秒钟。校长“还不能满足呀，争取50米达到8秒钟”。 0
586 老师：同学，如果你是老师，你最想对你的学生说得一句话是什么？学生默默地走上讲台，若有所思地说：同学们，下课。 0
585 某口吃者监考，发现一学生偷看，气急败坏地吼道：你…你…你…你…你竟敢作弊，给我站起来！五个学生站了起来。 0
584 小明上课时总是睡觉，老师批评他：你可不可以不要睡觉！？小明回答：不行，因为我是特困生。 0
583 老师提问小明：“长江第一大支流—汉水发源地在哪里”小明急得头上直冒汗，得了启示曰：“汗水发源于头上” 0
582 “报告，对不起老师，我迟到了”，“课间这么长时间你干什么去了”，“我去厕所了”，“那也不用这么长时间啊？”，“大、大的” 0
580 老师：“一个病人出生时一条腿比另一条腿短一些。如果你遇到这种情况时会怎样？”学生“我想，我也会瘸的” 0
579 “我这学期选了《应用心理学》耶！”“真的啊！那你快来帮我分析一下我的心理吧！”“不行，我下学期才会选《变态心理学》。” 0
578 “直升飞机上一定很热。”“你怎么知道？”“如果不热，这飞机上怎么装着那么大的电风扇呢？” 0
577 “儿子，把窗户关上，外面很冷。” “关上窗户，外面就暖和了吗？” 0
576 “你说地球围着太阳转，是吗？” “是的。” “那没有太阳的时候，地球该怎么办呢？” 0
575 “琼斯，你怎么哭啦？”“妈，叫我怎么办呀？弟弟在地上掏了个洞，他要我把这个洞搬到屋里给他玩。” 0
574 “小家伙，你是怎么来的？” “我拿了爸爸的戏票进来的。” “那你爸爸呢？” “他在家里找戏票呀！” 0
573 “5分钟前我儿子来买一磅果酱，可是只有半磅，你怎么解释？”“太太，请回去称一称您的儿子。” 0
572 “火车什么时候到？”“小朋友，我已经说了五次了，是4点44分。”“我只是喜欢看你说4点44分时胡子往上翘的样子。” 0
571 “妈妈，一个人会不会因为自己没有做过的事情而受到惩罚？”“当然不会。”“谢天谢地。我今天没有做功课。” 0
570 “妈妈，给我一个苹果吧！” “孩子，太晚了，苹果已经睡觉了。”“不，小的也许睡下了，大的肯定还没睡哩！” 0
569 “上帝啊，我生日那天送我一大盒巧克力吧！”“你嚷什么呀，小点声，上帝也听得见。” “可是隔壁的爷爷听不见呀。” 0
568 老师：记住，“难为情”就是脸红，小明，你再说一遍，什么时候脸红？小明：大便的时候！ 0
567 生物学助教：“夜晚实习课上遇到不认识的植物怎么办？”教授：“我通常走在最前头，把不认识的植物通通踩死。” 0
565 “教授先生，您难道不相信我的歌喉会有一天一鸣惊人吗？”“一定会的，小姐，当您受到惊吓或者袭击的时候。” 0
563 “我们今天扶一位老太太过马路了。”“很好，但是扶一位老太太为什么要两个人呢？”“因为老太太本来不想过马路的。” 0
562 “一定的溶剂只能溶解一定的溶质，比如说，你吃了一碗饭，又吃了一碗，已经饱了，你还能吃下去吗？”“还有菜吗？” 0
561 某生成绩差，考前妈妈带他拜孔庙，可他的英文还是不及格，妈妈若有所悟：“这也难怪，孔夫子不懂英文。” 0
560 “昨天和爸爸去公园划船，有只蜜蜂落我脸上。”“把它赶走不就行了？”“我还没来得及赶它，我爸就用船桨把它拍死了！” 0
559 “写文章要注意观察，杜甫观看孙二娘舞剑，就从中学到了很多知识，你们要向杜甫学习。”“可惜孙二娘早死了，到哪儿去看呢？” 0
558 “什么叫做‘先睹为快’？”“就是……就是先看看答案，然后再来回答，这样做习题就比较快。” 0
557 教授语录：如果坐在中间谈天的同学，能像坐在后面玩牌的同学那样安静的话，那么在前面睡觉的同学就不会受到干扰了。 0
556 “你对李白的‘床前明月光，疑是地上霜’这两句话有何感想？”“他一定是个近视眼。” 0
555 某生吹嘘女友美如仙女下凡，室友好奇借看玉照，看完之后问了一个问题：“你这个仙女下凡时是脸先着地吗？” 0
554 某生期末考试成绩不好，给弟弟拍了电报，请父亲作好思想准备，不久弟弟回电：“父亲已经准备好，现在请你作好思想准备。” 0
553 “你干吗上课闭上眼睛？”“我在默念课文。”“那你干吗直流口水。”“因为您的课讲得很好。” 0
552 “你刚上半年高中，为什么就要退学呢？”“因为考虑到我现在的学历，已经超过了华罗庚先生，不用再上学了。” 0
551 “你说说大仲马的历史”“老师，你可能搞错了，我报的是中文系，不是生物系。所以我没有准备大种马这个题！” 0
550 杰克：汤姆，你算术得了两分，这下你爸爸可要好好收拾你一顿了吧？汤姆：收拾我？恰恰相反，我要回去教训他！全都是他做的！ 0
549 胖子剃了光头，同寝兄弟摸了一把说：肉乎乎的像我女朋友屁股。胖子不自觉的摸了一下：别说，还真挺像！ 0
548 在饭堂吃饭时发现碗有虫，大呼小叫是大一的；找饭堂负责人理论的是大二的；夹出虫继续吃是大三的；把虫一起吃下去的是大四的。 0
547 某校一学生在一篇介绍自己母校的作文中这样自豪的写道：我们学校已经向社会输送了一匹又一匹的人才！！！ 0
545 小偷逝世，牧师写如下悼词：“死者是一个勤劳的人，别人睡觉的时候，他仍在工作，当别人醒来的时候，他拥有别人所没有的。” 6
544 在教室里，华维把自己的碗伸到旁边的杰仔面前：“尝尝我的饭。”杰仔舀了一大勺喂进嘴巴里。“看馊了没有。”华维补充道。 0
543 语文课上，老师让小明解释一下“无的放矢”的意思，小明想了想，说：“无的放矢的意思是‘没地方拉屎’！” 0
542 如果你拒绝了我，啊！拒绝了我！我将爬上二教，啊！爬上二教！爬过一楼，爬过二楼……爬到八楼。往下跳！啊！往下跳！ 0
541 篮球教练在教学生投篮，一生连投5次，都未进；教练大怒：“看我的！”，遂投。5个仍一个未进，“看见了吗？你就是这样投的！” 0
540 某日，一个平时很爱耍帅的男生问他后边的女生说：“你看我是外向还是内向？”该女生想了想，就说：“我看你是色相。” 0
539 班会上，一生正激情高昂地朗诵：“我们的生活是那么美好。听……”谁知，窗外即刻传来一声“耗儿药，耗儿药，耗儿吃了跑不掉.＂ 0
538 “你给谁写信呀？儿子？”“自己”“是吗？那是什么内容呢？”“你没看到我还没写完吗？我还没收到怎么知道内容呢？” 0
537 一个学生打电话给厂商：“我的钢笔怎么不出水呀？”“您可以试着甩一甩！”“我是过了，可是笔尖却找不到了？” 0
536 “那边那个丑八怪是谁啊？”“请你说话注意一点，她是我妹妹。”“啊！对不起……哦，是啊，你们长得好像耶！” 0
535 父亲问老师：“我儿子历史成绩怎样？当年我读书的时候，对这门功课不感兴趣……”老师回答：“你儿子……历史正在重演。” 0
534 老师：夏天刮东南风，冬天刮西北风，请记住。学生：不对，我妈说跟我爸结了婚，一年四季都喝西北风。 0
533 老师：“贝克，为什么火箭跑得那么快？”贝克：“谁的屁股着火了还不拼命跑呀！” 0
532 老师对一个睡觉刚醒的学生说：“我特意大声讲课，你却故意睡觉。”“我特意睡觉，你却故意大声吵闹。”学生回答说。 0
531 “你的试卷是抄了别人的吧？”“是的。是抄了些，但不全是。”“那么，哪些地方不是抄的？”“嗯……我的名字就不是抄的。” 0
529 老师：“乔尼，学生守则一共几条？”乔尼：“十条。”老师：“如果你破坏了其中的一条——”乔尼：“那还有九条！” 0
528 在上地理课时，地理老师问学生：“在日食的时候会出现什么现象。”“大家都跑出去看！”学生答道。 0
527 老师：“菲利，你们班上有一些同学有一句口头禅，你知道是什么吗？”菲利：“不知道。”老师：“说得对！” 0
526 化学老师：“氧气是在18世纪才被发现的……”“既然这样，在此之前，人呼吸什么呢？” 0
525 数学老师：“一座楼房的楼梯共分五段，每段有二十级台阶，若要登上顶楼，一共要跨多少级台阶？”一学生：“当然是所有的台阶。” 0
524 阿尔伯特：“老师，我忘带铅笔了，没法考试。”老师：“阿尔伯特，你对士兵上战场不带枪怎么看？”阿尔伯特：“那他准是当官的！ 0
523 “拿破仑是谁的名字呢？”“是一个皇帝或将军的名字，也是许多精神病人常用的笔名。” 0
522 老师问约翰：“你知道为什么欧洲的时间要早于美洲的时间？”约翰答道：“这很简单，因为美洲是后来发现的。” 0
521 老师：“沙漠是一块又长又宽的地方，上面光光的，什么东西都不长。”小学生：“老师，我明白了。我爸爸的秃头就是一片沙漠。” 0
520 老师：“我以前读书时，功课都很好，不像你这样顽皮。”学生：“可能是——你的老师比我的老师好。” 0
519 老师说：今天天气很好，我们应该去踏青。学生说：老师你是指去践踏穿青色衣服的女生吗？ 0
518 上课时一位同学睡着了，本来也没有什么的，但有一位同学和他过意不去，帮他打起了呼噜，于是睡觉的同学就被抓了。 0
517 老师：这作业都是你自己做的吗？学生：不，爸爸帮我做的。老师：回去对你爸爸说，星期天他也要补课。 0
516 老师：“做任何事都要一气呵成，才能让人激赏。”学生：“我懂了，以后我绝不放断断续续的连环屁。” 0
515 某日某国中，督学到校抽考，在朝会上向学生宣布：“为了公平起见，今年我先抽考一年级，明年二年级，后年三年级”。学生闻言…… 0
514 在医学课堂上男学生问：“我要如何才能打动你的心？”女学生：“老师不是教过了吗？要用电击。” 0
513 德辉写完一百遍的“我既懒惰又顽皮”后，便带着他的罚写作业到爸爸面前，说道：“老师说，你要在上面签名。” 0
512 老师要同学们用“天真”一词造句，小明写道：今天真热啊，回家要洗澡了！ 0
511 在一堂数学课上，老师问同学生们：“谁能出一道关于时间的问题？”话音刚落，有一个学生举手站起来问：“老师，什么时候放学？” 0
510 语法课上，约翰思想开了小差。突然教师问道：“约翰，你能说出两个代词吗？”约翰站起来，摇摇头说：“谁？我！” 0
509 格桑家里开了个小店，有时格桑放学回家，也帮着照应一下。一天，地理老师问他：“一年有几季？”“淡季和旺季。” 0
508 “你知道《罗密欧与朱丽叶》是谁的作品？”“我怎么会知道呢？像我这么大的孩子是不喜欢看莎士比亚作品的。” 0
507 “为什么不回答，卢卡，我提出的问题很难吗？”“噢，不，先生。你的问题我完全懂，是答案把我难住了。” 0
506 妈妈：跟你说了多少次，不懂应该问老师。 孩子：我问过了，老师不肯说。妈妈：什么时候？孩子：就在昨天考试时。 0
505 “你的教师怎么样？”“她的记性坏透了，刚才她还说1+1=2，现在又说是3-1=2了。” 0
504 哥哥：今天还要我帮你做作业吗？弟弟：不敢要了，昨天你把“一顿饭”写成“一吨饭”，同学们都笑话我是“大饭桶”。 3
503 “尼克，你懂得单数和复数了吗？”“懂得了。”“那你说说看，‘裤子’是单数还是复数？”“上面是单数，下面是复数” 0
502 父亲：“儿子，你怎么成了班上最差的学生了？”儿子：“这能怪我吗？原来最差的学生转到别的学校去了。” 0
501 上生物课，老师说：“心脏一刻都不能停止跳动。”学生：“老师,那么心脏停10分钟不要紧吧？” 0
500 “给我造个句子，在这个句子里必须有个糖字。”“父亲在喝茶。”“糖字在哪里？”“在茶里。” 0
499 课堂上，牙医学老师问一位同学：“人体口腔最后出现的是什么牙齿？”同学回答：“是假牙！老师。” 0
498 一个学生跑到食堂问厨师：“今晚有什么好吃的？”厨师说：“今天好吃的可是成千上万哪。”“真的！都有什么？”“炒黄豆。” 0
497 妈妈：“你的老师抱怨你一个月来做功课总是出错。为什么会这样呢？”儿子：“当我做对的时候，她就要吻我。” 0
496 老师：请叙述几个激战的故事。学生：老师，我妈妈说不让把家里的事情往外说。 0
495 汤米：“教师，拉宾刚才骂我，让我见魔鬼去吧。”老师：“那么，你做了什么？”汤米：“我就到这儿来了，老师。 0
494 学生：“老师，您在我的练习本上写的什么？”老师：“要把字写清楚” 0
493 老师：夏天刮东南风，冬天刮西北风，请记住。学生：不对，我妈说跟我爸结了婚，一年四季都喝西北风。 0
492 语文老师讲了一个成语；“罗马不是在一个白天就能建成的。”历史课上，老师问；“罗马帝国是什么时候建立起来的？”“夜里！” 0
491 发数学考卷，小五没好气的一把接过。老师：小心！两手，别把蛋打破了。 0
490 教师看见一位同事在厕所墙上涂鸦，吃惊地问：“怎么你也干这种事？”同事：“噢，不是的，我在改正同学的错字。” 0
489 某日上游泳课时，师：谁不下水，我就在点名簿上把他名字划掉。生：只怕我这一下水，我家的户口名簿要把我的名字划掉。 0
488 “请举例说明，什么叫无利润投资。”经济学教授提问。“带自己的妹妹出去玩。”一个男学生答道。 0
487 老师：“有一种东西，浑身长满漂亮的羽毛，每天早晨叫你早起，它是什么？”孩子：“是鸡毛掸子！” 0
486 “老师，您给我们讲过‘太平天国’吧？“是的，讲过。”“那我在地图上怎么找不到呢？” 0
485 学生：“这道题我已经做了6遍了。”教师：“好极了。”学生：“这儿是6个答案。” 0
484 老师：小明，你来解释一下，为什么地球仪是倾斜的？小明：报告老师，不是我弄坏的。我早上进教室的时候它就是这个样子。 0
483 教师：“你习字的分数太少了。我叫你写100张拿来，你只写了75张, http://www.csnclippers.com/ Clippers Men's Jersey。”学生：“可见我的算术更不行。” 0
482 老师：“什么叫‘调虎离山’？”学生：“譬如考试的时候，校长忽然把老师从教室叫了出去，这就叫做‘调虎离山’。” 0
481 “有谁知道狗熊在冬天为什么要睡六个月的觉？”“因为没有人敢去叫醒它。” 0
480 “你的成绩单在哪里？”父亲质问刚从学校回来的孩子。“我把它借给汤姆，让他吓唬一下自己的父母！” 0
479 “什么是赤壁之战？”“赤臂嘛，就是光着膀子，赤壁之战，自然就是光着膀子打仗了。” 0
478 上物理课时，老师提问：“什么物体最重？”冬冬：“报告，我们家外公最重！”“你外公？”“对，我爸爸写信时，称呼他为‘泰山’ 0
477 历史教师：“你知道武则天是什么人吗？” 学生：“武则天是数学家。过五则添，就是发明四舍五入的那位大数学家。” 0
476 教师：“你刚上半年高中，为什么就要退学呢？”学生：“因我考虑到我现在的学历，已经超过了华罗庚先生，用不着再上学了。” 0
475 老师正在讲振动和共鸣，为了让学生理解，老师提问道：“如果我朝鱼塘扔一块石头，会发生什么现象？”“罚款5元！” 0
474 “世界上哪几个国家的人口最多吗？” “知道，是联合国。” 0
473 宗教课上，教师问：“孩子们，现在谁能告诉我，在我们预计会得到宽恕之前，我们应该干什么？”“我们首先应该犯罪。” 0
472 上基督教课时老师问学生：“如果有一男孩侮辱了你或打了你，你能原谅他吗？”“能，老师，我想我得原谅他，如果他比我大的话。” 0
470 拉吉卡第一次上游泳课。一小时以后，他对教练说：“我想，今天是不是就练到这里吧？”“为什么呢？”“我实在喝不下去了。” 0
469 “工蚁可以搬动5倍于它们体重的食物。从这里，你们可得出什么结论？”“它们没有工会。” 0
468 常识课上，老师说：“今天晚上有月食，大家不妨抽空看看。” 一个小学生问道：“老师，几频道？” 0
467 老师：“你能告诉我一些关于17世纪那些着名化学家们的情况吗？” 学生：“能的，先生。他们都死了。” 0
466 教授：“今天化学赐予我们最出色的产品是什么？” 大学生：“金发女郎。” 0
465 老师：“贝蒂，你能说出4只脚的动物吗？” 小贝蒂想了想，计算了一下，说：“2只母鸡。” 0
464 老师：“你能讲出一种动物来吗？”学生：“一只蚂蚁。” 老师：“还可以再讲一种吗？” 学生：“另一只蚂蚁。” 0
463 “伊万，你来回答，眼镜蛇属哪一类动物？”老师问。学生想了想回答：“应属近视眼类。” 0
462 老师：“人类是从猿进化来的，这是绝对正确的。” 学生：“我也这么认为，要不为什么猴子会剩得这么少了。” 0
461 生物老师讲完了达尔文的进化论，问：“最接近人类的动物是什么？”一个刚睡醒的学生抢着大声回答：“虱子！” 0
460 “别嘉，你根据什么说声音传播比光要快呢？” “老师，这太简单了。每当我打开电视机时，总是先听到声音，然后才能出现画面呗！ 0
459 地理老师：“哪位同学知道世界上什么地方总是烟雾缭绕？” 吉米：“离我爸爸嘴边不远的地方。” 0
458 老师：“你知道死海在哪里吗？” 学生：“不知道，因为这海已经死了。” 0
457 地理老师用手指指着地图上一个地方问：“这是什么，彼得？” 彼得站起来回答道：“是你的食指。” 0
456 老师：“威利，你怎么知道地球是圆的呢？” 威利：“好吧，那就说是方的好了。我爸爸妈妈说过，学生同老师争执是很不礼貌的。” 0
455 “乔治，地球上最高点在哪里？你指给大家看吧。” “老师，地球上最高点我够不着呀。”乔治回答说。 0
454 教授对一位考生说：“请你告诉我什么叫逻辑？” 考生回答道：“逻辑就是：教授先生不可能不知道什么是逻辑。” 0
453 数学老师：“……现在，我们可以得出结论，X等于零。” 学生：“唉！算了这老半天，都白费功夫了！” 0
452 “如果10个人拆一座房子需要3天，那么，由5个人来拆同一座房子需要多少时间呢？”“这不可能，因为同一座房子不能拆两次。 0
451 数学老师问小汤米：“如何把5块土豆分给6个人呢？” “这好办，做成土豆泥，再分！” 0
450 老师：“今天我们来学减法。比方说，你哥哥有5个苹果，你从那儿拿走3个，结果怎样。” 汤姆：“结果嘛，结果他肯定会揍我一顿 0
449 上作文课时，老师请每位学生用最简单的语句来形容自己的特征。一位满面暗疮的同学写道：“一波未平，一波又起。” 0
448 教师：“‘发现’和‘发明’两个词有什么不同？” 学生：“我爸爸发现了我妈妈，爸爸和妈妈发明了我。” 0
447 老师：“小鸡能够自己从壳里出来这是多么有趣啊！”学生 ：“我认为，要是它们能够再进到壳里去那就更棒了。” 0
446 老师：“举一个当文盲的实际的例子。” “比方说吧，苍蝇如果不是文盲的话，它就不会往明明写着‘灭蝇’字样的胶纸上落了。” 0
445 “同学们，你们能不能给我说出几对反义词？”老师问。 “白天和黑夜，夏天和冬天，爸爸和妈妈……” 0
444 “你来回答，保尔。在《乌鸦与狐狸》这篇寓言里谁是主人公？” “奶酪，老师。” 0
443 老师：“汤米·史密斯，在‘公马和母牛在草地上放牧’这个句子里有错吗？”汤米：“有，先生。阴性名词永远应该放在第一位。” 0
442 语法老师：“我爱，你爱，他爱”这意味着什么？” 学生：“我认为，在这种情况下，总有一个人被打死。” 0
441 老师：“维利，什么是同义词？” 维利：“同义词就是，当你不知道基本词确切的写法时，用以来代替的词。” 0
440 舅舅：比格这次历史考试考得怎么样？母亲：很遗憾，成绩很不理想。可这也不能怪他，试题问的全是这可怜的孩子出生以前的事情。 0
439 “数学考试你为什么只得了一分？”父亲怒斥道。“大概，老师手里的分数不多了。”儿子回答。 0
438 妈妈：你的地理是怎么考的，你说说看！儿子：试题里问美洲在哪里。你想想，不可能所有的人都是哥伦布呀。 0
437 一名中学生在做祷告：“上帝保佑，让伦敦成为丹麦的首都吧！我在昨天的地理测验上就是这么答的……” 0
436 大学生：“我常梦见我已经当上了教授。导师，我要怎样做，才能使梦想变成现实？”导师：“少睡觉。” 0
434 母亲：我的孩子真是个神童，他有许多很独特的想法，难道不是这样吗？老师：是这样的，夫人，特别是在默写生字的时候。 0
433 数学教授被飞驶的汽车撞倒，交警询问车牌号，教授：我被撞倒的瞬间，只看到车上一个方程式：xy减去517，最后的差是24…… 0
432 小学自然课上，老师问一同学，皮肤有什么作用，那个学生答到：“防止别人一看到你就呕吐。” 0
431 遗传与环境有何不同？如果孩子生下来像父亲，那就是遗传；如果孩子生下来像邻居，那就是环境。 0
430 某人去女生宿舍会友，按要求填写会客登记表，有与被访者关系一条。他想了一会儿，认真地写上：尚未发生。 0
429 古典小说和现代小说的主要区别是：在古典小说中，男人吻他的妻子，至少要在一百页后，而现代小说中，第二页就已经有了私生子了。 0
428 一日上解剖课讲肌肉组织，老师找不到教鞭了 于是从解剖台上挑出一条人的上臂，举着，指着黑板说：“咱们来讲下一个问题。” 0
427 一女生好谈恋爱，男生取绰号“半月谈”。该女生很气愤：“这些兔崽子竟敢小瞧我。”“半月谈”是我的过去，我现在是“每周一歌”。 0
426 老师：“小明，你这是第四次偷看小华的卷子了！”小明：“老师，这不能怪我，他字太潦草，我看了三次都看不清楚！” 0
425 某大学生物系设有动物、昆虫、植物三个专业。一次全系师生大会上，主持人在台上大声叫：动物坐左边！昆虫坐中间！植物坐右边！ 0
424 “教授，听说尊夫人生了双胞胎。是男的，还是女的？”“让我想想看。好象一个是女的，另一个是男的。不过又好象是正好相反。” 0
423 先生发试卷，,喊曰：朱肚皮！数声无应者，遂置之一侧。试卷发毕，只剩一张，问曰：谁没有领到？一女生站而曰：我叫朱月坡！ 0
422 学位授予仪式场地小，授予人数多，结果硕士学位服装不够，场内秩序混乱。主持人在台上大声叫：没穿衣服的同志请先出去！ 0
421 小红：你昨天为什么没来上课？小明：我到医院拔牙去了。小红：你的牙现在还疼吗？小明：那谁知道，那颗牙在牙科医生手里。 0
420 老师：你叫什么名字？学生：我叫王小呆。老师：对老师说话要有礼貌，必须加上“先生”二字。学生：我叫王小呆先生。 0
419 老师：孩子们，现在保持绝对安静，静得连一根针落到地上。都听得见。过了一会儿，一个小男孩尖叫道：扔针吧！ 0
418 教授：XXX，请你把你旁边的那位老兄摇醒，这是上课，不是睡觉时间。学生：教授，请你来摇醒他吧，是你把他弄得睡着的。 0
417 第一次上课老师说把mouse移至屏幕某处。结果，居然真看到有个人把mouse贴着屏幕缓缓移动着… 0
416 哲学系期考时，们教授出了“什么是勇气”的申论题。一位学生在考卷上写“这就是”结果得到一个A… 0
415 如果把女孩按姿色分为漂亮、有气质、可爱、爱国、遵守交通规则五个等级的话，你只能被排在爱国和遵守交通规则之间。 0
414 国中生对女老师说：我真的好喜欢你！女老师：可是，我不喜欢小孩子耶！生：你放心好啦！我不会让你有小孩子的！ 0
413 男生楼比女生楼晚30分关门，可男生不走，每到女寝关门之时，楼下大妈总要叫：“姑娘们，送客啦！” 0
412 我的心在跳，我的手在抖。千言万语我汇成一句话：借点钱给我吧？我亲爱的朋友？？？ 0
411 你精，你精，你门槛最精。煮菜放鸡精，饮料要喝麦乳精。你以为你是迷人妖精，其实你是屁骚精。 0
410 什么是沉鱼落燕的容貌。就是鱼儿在水面上游一看见你就吓的落在水底，燕子一看见你吓的一头栽在地上。 0
409 有一个女生，她愿意等我到下辈子。她温柔婉约地说：“想成为我男朋友，等下辈子吧。” 0
408 你帅你帅，腰缠一根脐带，见到女人就爱，你宠洋媚外，专能欺侮弱小老太，你以为英雄气派，其实是流氓无赖。 0
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386 妈妈：“你的老师抱怨你一个月来做功课总是出错。为什么会这样呢？”儿子：“当我做对的时候，她就要吻我。” 0
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베이와빈 2차 시식 체험단을 모집합니다. (0)
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