person A: I had gotten a random call from a girl I hadn't talked to since high school.  Turned out she was in my neck of the woods and wanted to catch up. So I threw on some fresh khakis and air nikes and 2 condoms just in case. Turned out it's always better safe than sorry.
person B: That is true_comma_ but why the air nikes? Haven't you heard about their effect on women?
person A: No enlighten me please
person B: They're known to cause erectile dysfunction? There's chemicals in the laces_comma_ dude! A conspiracy I tell you! Done by OBAMA!
person A: Oh man well thankfully I was born with adamantium cartilege...because she wasn't complaining she literally just left bro