person A: My significant other woke up last night with... a roach inside of her ear! She was complaining about pain in her ear_comma_ and a head ache that was incredibly severe. So_comma_ we took her to the doctor and he saw it with a light... and put water in her ear to get it out. Disgusting!
person B: Oh gross!  I've heard of flies or ants being in an ear_comma_ but a roach?  That gives me chills because I hate roaches sooooo much.  Now I might have nightmares tonight!
person A: I'm sorry! I didn't mean for that. Yeah_comma_ some smaller ones--heck_comma_ even bigger ones_comma_ can get up there. And then they get stuck_comma_ and they freak out_comma_ so they're essentially just biting the inside of your head to try and get out. It's horrible to think about_comma_ and I've been trying to comfort her since when it happened a little bit ago. But she's getting over it soon. The weird thing is we don't even really ever see bugs in our house_comma_ so it was kind of like a one in a million thing. I bet she sleeps with ear plugs in her eyes for the next few years though...
person B: EW!  I might start sleeping with ear plugs in now too.  I've heard you eat 8 spiders on average in a lifetime_comma_ some in your sleep.  So many things to be scared of with bugs! I'm so glad they were able to get it out.  Tell her I hope she gets over the trauma of it okay.