person A: Have you ever felt sandpaper on your bottom? Because that is what the new recycled toilet paper my wife want's us to use feels like. 
person B: Holy smokes! Let me guess_comma_ better for the environment?
person A: yes but in the end it's still paper and still going to the same place. I dream of the day I can enjoy Angel Soft or Charmin again.
person B: You poor soul! I'm all for saving the planet_comma_ but you have to draw the line somewhere. I hope you get some relief!
person A: I'm going to have to start waiting until I go to work to use the potty.