title: Killing Me Softly With Jazz Hands...: Essays, blogs and other crap I thought was funny
author:  Becky Pedigo 
description: Becky Pedigo was born in Amarillo Texas. She has spent the last twenty five years traveling the globe doing stand-up. Becky has appeared on various television shows including "The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson" and has her own half hour Comedy Central special. She now resides in Los Angeles, California. Sometimes she gets to sleep in her own bed. That kinda makes her happy.
zlib_text: > Contents
  
  * * *
  
  > [Title Page](titlepage.xhtml)
  
  > Contents
  
  > Copyright
  
  > Dedication
  
  > Epigraph
  
  > Before (November)
  
  > You Blame the Internet for the Whole Thing.
  
  > Lucille and I are down to skivvies.
  
  > And I do.
  
  > The Sinking Girl is in the room next to mine.
  
  > I give blood.
  
  > A week after that, on December 19, it’s our birthday.
  
  > I knew he would be here, and that’s super weird.
  
  > I’m three days post-birthday, and I’m out of here.
  
  > During (January)
  
  > I should mark my bedroom wall like they do in prison movies.
  
  > Reggie waits in my driveway.
  
  > So this is being young and alive.
  
  > Sometimes breathing is hard.
  
  > I lost six more days of my life.
  
  > This therapist looks like she could use some therapy right about now.
  
  > What I connect to is a chair.
  
  > Then there is Jasmine.
  
  > Joe’s house is not what I expected.
  
  > Gigi doesn’t do comas.
  
  > I should be flipping out right now.
  
  > “You stole my car!”
  
  > I hold the box from Madame in my lap as though it is a biting, sti