title: Get Thee to a Nunnery: A Pair of Shakespearean Divertimentos
author:  David R. Slavitt 
description: "Get thee to a nunnery!" Hamlet advises Ophelia. "Why wouldst thou be a breeder of sinners?" Sex and sin are much on Slavitt's (The Cliff) mind as he retells two of Shakespeare's plays?Measure for Measure and Romeo and Juliet?to explore timeless patterns of attraction and deceit. The two novella-length pieces, "Luke's Book" and "Lorenzo's Book," not only use Shakespeare's plots, but also employ Machiavellian storytelling that subverts the original story with a new twist. "Luke's Book" transplants the Renaissance Vienna-set problem play to a town in the American West named Hotdog, a place that offers just the minimal services: a bath, a drink, a decent meal, supplies and a whorehouse. Luke (Lucio in the original) narrates a twisted plot involving the nun Isabel, who is told that she can save her brother's life if she consents to sex with a town official who has mounted a campaign to outlaw extramarital affairs. In "Lorenzo's Book," Friar Laurence of the original becomes a Medici-like schemer; Romeo is a boor and a dolt; Juliet an unformed child whose hold on the male mind is a mystery; Rosaline a political schemer and illegitimate daughter of the Friar; her Prince a wimp and the Friar himself true neither to the church nor to the women he claims to love. Employing contemporary vernacular, this pair of devilishly clever "divertimentos" ponders, with Lorenzo, the age-old problem and paradox: "How is the double man to be true to himself?" in a text that doubles as intellectual exercise. (Apr.) FYI: The author is a classics scholar whose translations include Aeschylus, Seneca, Virgil and the Psalms of David.<br />Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.
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  “Let us cut the preliminaries, shall we?
  
  “I find you extremely attractive and it is obvious we were made to know each
  other better—that our paths were destined to cross. Should Mr. Fraser find he
  has another engagement tomorrow night, you could accompany Mr. Hacket to
  Dunstan House or come by yourself. You will be well received and find it
  extremely rewarding.”
  
  Even though Louisa had spent all her life buried in the country, away from the
  sleaze and corruption of London, she would have had to be a simple, naive fool
  not to have known the implication of his words. Insulted, hot, angry color
  flooded her cheeks again and she took a step back abruptly, gazing at him with
  pure loathing.
  
  “I think you are mistaken, Lord Dunstan. I am not for sale.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  AN INNOCENT PROPOSAL
  
  Helen Dickson
  
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  HELEN DICKSON
  
  was born and still lives in south Yorkshire with her husband, on a busy arable
  farm where she combines writing with keeping a chaotic 