title: Gifts of Sisterhood: a journey on to your own
author:  Patricia L. Brooks 
description: <span></span><br /> <span>My sister Roberta died over twelve years ago from lung cancer.<span> </span>This event changes me every year, both emotionally and spiritually because I look at life with more mindfulness and give myself the freedom for new perspectives.<span> </span>During the years since her death I have become more in touch with my feelings.<span> </span>I forgive more quickly and I am more grateful.<span> </span>My faith has risen to a new level, and I am generally at peace with my life.<span> </span>The loss of my sister was not in vain but an opportunity for growth and to practice the gifts she gave so freely - the gifts presented here in this book.</span><br /> <span></span><br /> <span>God gave me a gift after her death too in a kind and loving husband.<span> </span>The kind of person my sister often imagined for me.<span> </span>I accepted this gift in her honor.<span> </span>To remember her courage gives me my life back, a life that floundered in disconnected relationships of the past.<span> </span>I found a true appreciation of forgiveness and gratitude as I passed through my grief.<span> </span></span><br /> <span></span><br /> <span>To look back on the six years of this book's journey is a joyful experience.<span> </span><span></span>The reality of how far I have come is apparent to me each day as I reflect on all the experiences. The opportunities with being an author, and the incredible people I meet who believe they are destined to read my story, is heartwarming.<span> </span>They help me heal even further.<span> </span>The support I receive from such organizations as the Arizona Lung Association, who promote my book and workshop in their Desert Pathways newsletter, is a testament to the theory a book has a mind of its own.<span> </span>To all of you I say thank you.</span><br /> <span></span><br /> <span>Looking back at this book published parallel to my path of grief I am amazed a work written to share my love for my sister speaks to so many about grief.<span> </span>My sister's been gone many years now, but the message remains the same. <span></span>Hold tight to those you love, and remember them always in your heart. </span><br /> <span></span><br /> <span>It's no longer the pain I had in the beginning, but an ache that is different.<span> </span>It will be a part of my life forever because it was a traumatic loss. Death of a loved one is one of the most difficult things any of us will face in life; we are forever changed by it.<span> </span>Being able to share my love for my sister and the pain of her loss in this book is incredibly healing.<span> </span>It allows me to come to terms with loss in a new phase of my life.<span> </span>A life that goes on with her still is always on my mind.</span><br /> <span></span><br /> <span>Knowing others in my grief support family are willing to listen to me and answer the questions I need to ask is helpful.<span> </span>They allow me to come back to me.<span> </span>I reciprocate in my heart and by listening to them.<span> </span>The Journey from Grief to Gratitude workshop (see appendix outline) done with this book, and in her memory, allows me to give back.<span> </span>Others in need of healing from grief respond and I am at my true center.</span><br /> <span></span><br /> <span>Because friends and family admit they do not have all the answers during years of sorrow, I choose to face grief courageously but cautiously when it appears. It is a process and one we each take at our own pace and in our own way.<span> </span>We have help available if we look for it along with others who travel the grief path.<span> </span>We can ask them to join us.<span> </span>I am a willing student on the subject and thus my <i>Journey from Grief to Gratitude </i>workshop continues to develop.<span> </span>It is my opportunity to share my story and be of service to those grieving.<span> </span>It's a vehicle for my own healing while my strengthened faith remains the greatest gift since this loss. My spiritual quest continues to be fed and I now know peace.</span><br /> <span></span><br /> <span>The honesty of the other authors I read who write on grief give me a new appreciation and enlightenment on the subject.<span> </span>I am more resilient as time heals wounds.<span> </span>Although the pain of the loss never completely goes away it does go to a different place and we can go on with our lives.<span> </span>It is with much gratitude for this knowledge I take my book to a new place too.</span><br /> <span></span><br /> <span>Many of my friends offer me reassurance, acceptance and caring.<span> </span>These gestures of kindness helped me to write, and later revise for this edition, a book that reveals uncovered depths of my emotional life.<span> </span>My workshop, with a goal of helping others in grief discover their new being, is a direct response to those who were my first readers.</span><br /> <span></span><br /> <span>Thank you to all the people who read my book, attend one of my workshops and offer feedback.<span> </span>Your open and honest sharing of your grief stories gives me even more understanding about my own loss.<span> </span>Your allowing me to share my feelings is cathartic and a big part of my journey home.</span><br /> <span></span><br /> <span>The journey from grief to gratitude can be long and very difficult at times, but it is also a path to forgiveness and joy if we are open to the people we meet along the way. <span></span>To care about ourselves and others is God's plan for all of us.<span> </span>Regardless of what challenges are in our path today, growth and awareness can be part of the journey.</span><br /> <span></span><br /> <span>We eventually realize we are not alone in our grief and that we all grieve in our own ways.<span> </span>Regardless of how raw we are in the beginning, we come to realize we have to talk about the death of our loved one to heal.<span> </span>This is how we gain independence from grief.<span> </span>Writing this book allowed me to talk it out.<span> </span>The journal pages and questions here should help you to talk it out too.</span><br /> <span></span><br /> <span>My sister is deep within my heart and soul today.<span> </span>I do very few things now where I don't ask myself what she would think or say about my decision.<span> </span>The enormity of anything is paled when we are side-by-side in our hearts with the one who has passed away.<span> </span>I keep <i>Gifts of Sisterhood</i> close to me for guidance.<span> </span>It was written for a reason.<span> </span>There was a plan for the book and it continues to unfold in a beautiful way.<span> </span>Now as an E-book it will be even more beautiful and useful.<span> </span>It's comforting to me to have her spirit in my life.<span> </span>She did not die in vain; she just moved me closer to God.</span><br /> <span></span><br /> <span></span>
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  For the women who know that feeling
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Sisterhood is powerful. It kills. Mostly sisters.
  
  
  —Ti-Grace Atkinson
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ## PROLOGUE
  
  
  * * *
  
  
  Kelly: The Interview Present day
  
  
  A man whose name I do not know slides his hand under the hem of my new blouse,
  connecting the cable to the lavalier mic clipped to my collar. He asks me to
  say somethi