title: Hades Speaks!: A Guide to the Underworld by the Greek God of the Dead (Secrets of the Ancient Gods)
author:  Vicky Alvear Shecter 
description: Gr 36Hades guides modern readers through the Ancient Greek underworld of the dead. Bitter, alienated, and unremittingly snarky because his younger brother Zeus has taken over the world and Hades himself gets no respect, the God of the Dead takes readers on a tour of his bloody, gory, and monstrous (literally) realm of darkness. His particular aversion to heroes such as Herakles or, for that matter, any of the many sons of Zeus offers an amusing perspective. Greek philosophers and funeral rites are also examined through the jaded eye of Hades. Back matter, including a pronunciation guide and "bio" of gods and goddesses, help support the well-researched material. The acerbic tone and sometimes disconcerting oxymorons (references to baseball, Harry Potter, and Percy Jackson; Hades referred to as "Grumpy McGrouchstein") are an acquired taste. Adults may be put off by such statements as "homeworkuseless, boring, and stupid" or "then everyone would panic about global warming," but it is likely that younger readers will not notice. For many, this may be a fun introduction that will spark further interest in mythology.Katherine Koenig, The Ellis School, PA
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  ![Hot as Hades](images/cover.png)
  
  
  
  
  
  Dedication
  
  
  If I could dedicate every book to my editor extraordinaire, Sasha Knight, I
  would, but I fear her suspicions over my weirdness would then be confirmed.
  Therefore, I will just make it clear now that such a dedication is eternally
  implicit.
  
  
  Chapter One
  
  
  Hades, also known as the extremely badass Lord of the Underworld, was
  accustomed to souls dropping into his kingdom. He couldn't say the same for
  naked flesh-and-blood females dropping into his lap.
  
  
  "Well hello," he said to the wet, naked, shaking, warm, soft--and wait, did he
  mention naked?--female sprawled over him, straddling him where he sat on his
  throne. "Can I help you?"
  
  
  Rapid panting was her only response. Her breath skimmed over his neck where
  her face was buried. All he could see was hair, wild corkscrews of damp black
  silk which covered her back. It looked springy and alive, already frizzing in
  its half-dry state.
  
  
  Her arse felt round and full as it nestled upon his