title: The Traveling Curmudgeon: Irreverent Notes, Quotes, and Anecdotes on Dismal Destinations, Excess Baggage, the Full Upright Position, and Other Reasons Not to Go There
author:  Jon Winokur 
description: Jon Winokur has written many books on humor and other subjects. He lives in Pacific Palisades, CA.
zlib_text: CHAPTER	ONE
  The	seat	was	much	too	low	for	his	tall	frame;	he	had	barely	enough	room	without	the
  paraphernalia	his	companion
  was	shifting	in	her	own	seat.	He	gave	her	a	short	glare	through	deep	brown	eyes.	She	flushed,
  her	gaze	dropping	to
  her	lap	as	she	tucked	her	huge	purse	on	the	other	side	of	her	and	struggled	with	her	seat	belt.
  He	sighed,	watching	her.	A	spinster,	he	thought	unkindly.	From	her	flyaway	brown	hair	to	the
  eyes	under	those	wire-
  rimmed	glasses,	from	her	bulky	white	sweater	down	to	her	long	gray	skirt	and	sensible	gray
  shoes,	she	was	definitely	someone's	unclaimed	treasure.	He	turned	his	eyes	back	to	the	too-
  narrow	aisle.	Damn	budget	airlines,	he	thought
  furiously.	If	he	hadn't	missed	the	flight	he'd	booked,	he	wouldn't	be	trying	to	fit	into	this	sardine
  can	of	a	seat.	Next	to	Miss	Frump	here.
  He	didn't	like	women.	Never	less	than	now,	when	he	was	forced	to	endure	this	particular
  woman's	company	for
  several	hundred	miles	from	San	Antonio	down	to	Veracruz,	Mexico.	He	g