title: The Big Book of Sick Christmas Haiku
author: Sick Christmas Haiku Project
description: The Sick Christmas Haiku Project was born over a decade ago when three corporate lawyers in tedious, soul-destroying jobs sought to numb the existential horror that comes with actually working for a living after close to a decade of post-secondary education. Avoiding obvious solutions such as alcohol, drugs, religion or a duffle bag full of guns smuggled into the office the night before that big M&amp;A deal is supposed to close, they began exchanging sick haiku via email. Because the brain-sucking zombification wrought by corporate law is particularly intense right before the holiday season (not only do investment bankers want their deals to close before the end of the year, they want them to be ready before they jet off to St. Maarten), the focus quickly became dark, depraved, sick Christmas haiku. The rest is history. For reasons that will be glaringly obvious after reading a portion of this book, the members of The Sick Christmas Haiku Project wish to remain anonymous.
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  ![](../Images/image00082.gif)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ## Contents
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
    1. [Cover](kindle:embed:0002?mime=image/jpg)
  
  
  * [Title Page](part0000.xhtml)
  
  
  * 
  
  
  [PROLOGUE](part0002.xhtml)
  
  
  
  
  
    1. [ONE](part0003.xhtml)
  
  
  * [TWO](part0004.xhtml)
  
  
  
  
  
  * 
  
  
  [The Christmas Mystery](part0005.xhtml)
  
  
  
  
  
    1. [Chapter 1](part0006.xhtml)
  
  
  * [Chapter 2](part0007.xhtml)
  
  
  * [Chapter 3](part0008.xhtml)
  
  
  * [Chapter 4](part0009.xhtml)
  
  
  * [Chapter 5](part0010.xhtml)
  
  
  * [Chapter 6](part0011.xhtml)
  
  
  * [Chapter 7](part0012.xhtml)
  
  
  * [Chapter 8](part0013.xhtml)
  
  
  * [Chapter 9](part0014.xhtml)
  
  
  * [Chapter 10](part0015.xhtml)
  
  
  * [Chapter 11](part0016.xhtml)
  
  
  * [Chapter 12](part0017.xhtml)
  
  
  * [Chapter 13](part0018.xhtml)
  
  
  * [Chapter 14](part0019.xhtml)
  
  
  * [Chapter 15](part0020.xhtml)
  
  
  * [Chapter 16](part0021.xhtml)
  
  
  * [Chapter 17](part0022.xhtml)
  
  
  * [Chapter 18](part0023.xhtml)
  
  
  * [Chapter 19](part0024.xhtml)
  
  
  * [Chapter 20](part0025.xhtml)
  
  
  * [Chapter 21](part0026.x