title: Tales of a New York Limo Driver: Sex, Excess and Stupidity on Four Wheels
author:  Nicky Testaforte 
description: With the acerbic wit of a jaded New Yorker, Nicky Testaforte tells over 70 stories of the ridiculous things he's seen and heard in addition to relating stories from his clients and other drivers.Also included are six photos of misspelled, bastardized english "Only in NY" signs, plus over 40 driving/travel tips and scathing admonishments for all the amateur drivers and limo passengers out there.|Take wealth, arrogance and stupidity, mix in some sex, and throw it in the back of a limo driven by a cynical New Yorker with a laptop. Now you've got a funny, informative and totally unbelievable story. Nicky Testaforte's Tales of a New York Limo Driver - Sex, Excess and Stupidity on Four Wheels. Come along for the ride and read all about: * The cross dressing executive * Mommy and the Typhoid Twins * Client's tales of drivers screwing up * Limos used as rolling no-tell motels * People with more friggin money than sense Plus over 40 useful tips and scathing admonishments for all the amateur drivers and limo passengers out there. Visit the book's website at www.nylimotales.com
zlib_text: - 1 -
  The summer air slid in through the windows,
  filling the car with the green scent of the park,
  and the frightening sound of highway traffic. I bit
  my lip and stared out the window, where children
  played in the grass. The car was only idling in the
  parking lot, but I kept imagining Milo losing con-
  trol and running them over.
  My younger brother Milo had just turned sixteen,
  and he talked constantly about getting his license.
  His new obsession with cars I blamed entirely on
  Jack, who drove at excessive speeds in luxury
  vehicles. Milo changed the instant he laid eyes on
  his Lamborghini. Things that beautiful captivated
  people, even gay teenage boys, apparently.
  Even though I was a year and a half older than
  Milo, I still didn’t have my license, so Jack was the
  one giving the driving lessons, and it scared me.
  
  Wearing gigantic sunglasses, Jack sat shotgun,
  but he didn’t really explain things to Milo. He
  pointed to a pedal and said, “That one makes it
  go. So push on it and let’s go.” 