title: They're Your Parents, Too!: How Siblings Can Survive Their Parents' Aging Without Driving Each Other Crazy
author:  Francine Russo 
description: "Russo is so insightful, so psychologically acute and compassionate that she held me rapt for the whole book...<b>They're Your Parents, Too!</b> is the first book of it's kind I have ever read and I am extremely grateful to Russo for giving us her wisdom and the help of the experts whose voices guide us through what is an extremely difficult passage for us all." Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., Professor of Sociology, University of Washington and author of <i>Prime: Adventures and Advice on Sex, Love, and the Sensual Years</i><br /><br />"Francine Russo has written a stunning book about one of the most complex but ignored times of human transitionthe sibling relationships when parents are in decline and then die. Taking over often becomes a sibling struggleand therein lies the core of Francine Russo's uplifting book." Pauline Boss, Professor Emeritus, University of Minnesota and author of<i> Ambiguous Loss</i><br /><br />I wish Francine Russo had been my tutor as I faced my own mothers decline and death. All the issues that came up for my brother and sister and me are addressed so accurately and compassionately in this book. This is a manual that shows us how to negotiate a healing path through our parents final challenge, and prepares us for our own. David Richo, PhD., author of <i>When the Past is Present </i>and <i>How To Be An Adult</i> <br /><br />This book by Francine Russo will be enormously helpful to siblings struggling with the many challenges posed as their parents grow older. Robert N. Butler, M.D. President and CEO,InternationalLongevity Center,Founding director of the National Institute on Aging<br /><br />Interesting, relevant, insightful! Anyone who reads this book will find something that opens a window to new thinking about themselves and their relationships. Russo has really done her homework. Im recommending this to everyone I know whos having sibling issues around their parentsand thats practically everyone I know. <i><i>Harriett Balkind, founder of <i>SNOETY.COM</i> (SECRETS NO ONE EVER TOLD YOU )</i></i><br /><br />Even I, who practice mediation for a living and am able to help people with their difficult conversations, found it extremely difficult to start my ownfamilys discussions about caring for our mother without help from outside. Now I am committed to helping families find ways to have such conversations, using Francine Russos useful and engaging book as a springboard.<i><i>Brigitte Bell, Brigitte Bell Mediation, Evanston, IL</i></i><br /><br />More than a how-to book, this groundbreaking work illuminates a difficult stage of life."<i>Library Journal</i>
zlib_text: 
  
  
  
  
  
  ![older-brother.png](images/older-brother.png)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Older Brother
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](images/charco-logo-grey.png)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Daniel Mella
  
  
  
  
  
  OLDER
  
  
  
  
  
  BROTHER
  
  
  
  
  
  Translated by
  
  
  
  
  
  Megan McDowell
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](images/charco-logo-grey1.png)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  For my family: without you, there would be no story.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  His death will fall on 9th February, always two days before my birthday.
  Alejandro will be thirty-one years
  
  
  old in the early morning of that day whose light he will never see, the day
  we’ll
  
  
  go from being four siblings to three. I, the oldest son, will be about to turn
  thirty-eight.
  
  
  That same morning, Mum (sixty-four), sitting beside me in dark glasses, says:
  ‘Why
  
  
  him, when he liked life so much? Why Ale, when so many other people go around
  complaining
  
  
  about things all the time?’
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  On the back porch of my parents’ house, while Dad (sixty-nine) and Marcos