title: Stronger at the Broken Places: Heuristic Inquiry: Growing Up in Chaos and the Journey from Suffering to Self-Actualization
author: Lynne Cockrum-Murphy
description: Lynne Cockrum-Murphy, Ed.D. received her doctorate in educational administration from Arizona State University. She is a licensed counselor and has worked as a drug treatment counselor. She is also an adjunct professor for Northern Arizona University. She is retired from teaching special education and administration and now writes and consults.
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  ## 8
  
  Some of us take a notion we're what the world perceives us to be, so we create
  images the world feeds back. You see it especially with kids. You get some
  pathetic louse of a parent, always sniping at his kid, telling him he's no
  good and dumb, pretty soon he's got a dumb, no-good kid. That's your one-way
  version. I'm talking about creating yourself.
  
  I worked at it, not always consciously, when I wanted the world to think I was
  bad. I didn't make my bed. I changed my socks only once a week. I cleaned
  house once a year whether the place needed it or not. When I wanted to look
  real mean, I stopped brushing my teeth.
  
  Barking Dog must have lived in those same two rooms for about eleven thousand
  years without cleaning once. The place could become a museum where mothers
  showed their kids why they ought to pick up after themselves.
  
  The smell suggested it was the one place in TunFaire not infested by