title: MAIL-ORDER MYSTERIES
author: KIRK DEMARAIS
description: "If childhood disappointment could ever be considered an art form, <br />then Mail-Order Mysteries is a masterpiece. Really. The metaphors for life itself are inescapable, the disillusion heartbreakingly laid bare, the tackiness a drug you just can't quit."<br />--Chip Kidd, graphic designer and author of "Bat-Manga!"<br /><br />"Mail-Order Mysteries reveals the secrets behind those too-good-to-be-true gizmos advertised in the comic books of my youth. What a mind-blower!"<br />--Mark Frauenfelder, cofounder of Boing Boing<br /><br />"If I could put one thing in a time machine to send back to my eight-year-old self, it would be Mail-Order Mysteries. This book would have saved me dozens of allowances and hundreds of glacial hours spent standing on the porch waiting for the mailman to arrive. I always knew there was something fishy about those 'Gigantic Dinosaurs!'"<br />--Mark Waid, writer of "Kingdom Come and Irredeemable"
zlib_text: RAYER
  SPACE ALIEN’S MAIL ORDER BRIDE
   
  ALYSSA EZRA
   
  
  Copyright 2016 �  by Alyssa Ezra
   
  All rights reserved.
  No part of this publication may be reproduced
  in any way whatsoever, without written permission
  from the author, except in case of brief
  quotations embodied in critical reviews
  and articles.
   
  This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any
  character, person, living or dead, events, place or
  organizations is purely coincidental. The author does not
  have any control over and does not assume any responsibility
  for third party websites or their content.
   
  First edition, 2016
   
   
  
  Chapter 1
   
  He had been awaiting the summons – he supposed that it was long due in reality.  Unfortunately,
  such logic didn’t make the summons any less disdainful.
  “High Prince Rayer.  My lord, his highest majesty, your father has requested your presence.”
  “Why do you insist on calling it a request when we both know that such edict is a command?” 
  It didn’t matter how many years Rayer had been receiving