title: Cooking (for A**holes): Terrible things I've done. Tasty apologies. Little to no remorse.
author:  Zach Golden 
description: "Here at <i>Study Breaks</i>, we like laughing. Given our literacy, love of laughing and adoration for a**holes [this book] is absolutely.... perfect. Golden is a terrible person...who's also an excellent writer. And his book will make you laugh...and cringe...and really just feel a whole lot better about yourself as a human being." --<i>Study Breaks Magazine</i><br /><br />"From world cuisine to delicious desserts, from mixed drinks to meals that might mend fences, these recipes are often funny in their own right, as Golden's singular bluntness and gift for envelope-pushing offensiveness keep things interesting." --<i>San Francisco Book Review</i>
zlib_text: **Table of Contents**
  
  >  **ONE**
  
  >  **TWO**
  
  >  **THREE**
  
  >  **FOUR**
  
  >  **FIVE**
  
  >  **SIX**
  
  >  **SEVEN**
  
  >  **EIGHT**
  
  >  **NINE**
  
  >  **TEN**
  
  >  **ELEVEN**
  
  >  **TWELVE**
  
  >  **THIRTEEN**
  
  >  **FOURTEEN**
  
  >  **FIFTEEN**
  
  >  **Chapter 1**
  
  >  **Chapter 2**
  
  >  **Chapter 3**
  
  ONE
  
  “Should we poison his pie?” Zee asked as I crossed the diner to deliver the
  meatloaf and mashed potatoes special to Murphy Jesse. The man was a jerk.
  There was no way around that. He was also one of the main judges of the pie
  contest Zee and I were participating in. Given his reaction to my cheddar and
  apple pie, I figured I was out of the running. I should have known better than
  to make it. I’d created the recipe to torture my boyfriend. This was nothing
  more than karma.
  
  I deserved my fate given that I’d been sure to save him a piece from the
  contest given that I knew he was coming in for dinner. He hadn’t even done
  anything to irritate me lately, I just liked to make him squirm. I used the
  anticip