title: Liking the Child You Love: Build a Better Relationship with Your Kids--Even When They're Driving You Crazy
author:  Jeffrey Bernstein 
description: Author/psychologist Bernstein (10 Days to a Less Defiant Child), aka "Dr. Jeff," delves into "the dark thoughts of anxious parents" who love their kids, but can't figure out how to like them. Bernstein claims millions of parents suffer from an affliction he calls Parent Frustration Syndrome (PFS), characterized by negativity, resentment and frustration regarding one's own child. According to Bernstein, PFS is caused by toxic thinking; to combat this habit, he provides parents with the tools to identify and transform their damaging thoughts. Such toxic thinking patterns as using labels or sarcasm, blaming, emotional "overheating," or employing the words "always," "never" or "should" are among the ways parents contribute to problems with their kids, the author argues. Bernstein guides parents down a more "mindful" path, helping them to reduce stress and alter negative emotions by changing their thoughts. He also suggests ways to use "collaborative logical consequences" instead of empty or damaging threats. Frazzled adults may too often be tempted to blame their discontent on their child's behavior, but Bernstein places responsibility for the relationship squarely in the hands of parents, while simultaneously offering support and practical strategies for reducing parental stress. In a conversational style, he also shares his clients' stories, along with his own challenges as the father of three. <br />Copyright  Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
zlib_text: **Come On, Wagon**
  
  
  **by Zenna Henderson**
  
  
  
  
  
  I don't like kids—never have. They're too uncanny. For one thing, there's no
  bottom to their eyes. They haven't learned to pull down their mental curtains
  the way adults have. For another thing, there's so much they don't know. And
  not knowing things makes them know lots of other things grown-ups can't know.
  That sounds confusing, and it is. But look at it this way. Every time you
  teach a kid something, you teach him a hundred things that are impossible
  because that one thing is so. By the time we grow up, our world is so hedged
  around by impossibilities that it's a wonder we ever try anything new. Anyway,
  I don't like kids, so I guess it's just as well that I've stayed a bachelor.
  Now, take Thaddeus. I don't like Thaddeus. Oh, he's a fine kid, smarter than
  most—he's my nephew—but he's too young. I'll start liking him one of these
  days when he's ten or eleven. No, that's still too young. I guess when his
  voice starts cracking and he begi