title: Tenant's Revenge: How To Tame Your Landlord
author:  Andy Kane 
description: Longtime Paladin author Andy Kane can say things that too few of us can. Things such as, "If I were to die tomorrow, I believe I will have gotten my money's worth out of this life." Kane (whose vocabulary doesn't include the words "Maybe I shouldn't . . .") has devoted his life to enjoying every minute of it. A Realtor and landlord, he has judged a Miss Nude World contest (and was paid to do it), driven at Daytona International Speedway and other famous tracks, caddied at the U.S. Open and lived many other fantasies that the average many other fantasies that the average Joe only dreams of.
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  >
  
  
  Zodiac
  
  
  By Neal Stephenson
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ### Chapter One
  
  
  Roscommon came and laid waste to the garden an hour after dawn, about the time
  I usually get out of bed and he usually passes out on the shoulder of some
  freeway. My landlord and I have an arrangement. He charges me and my
  housemates little rent-by Boston standards, none at all-and in return we let
  him play fast and loose with our ecosystem. Every year at about this time he
  destroys my garden. He’s been known to send workmen into the house without
  warning, knock out walls in the middle of the night, shut off the water while
  we shower, fill the basement with unidentified fumes, cut down elms and maples
  for firewood, and redecorate our rooms. Then he claims he’s showing the dump
  to prospective tenants and we’d better clean it up. Pronto.
  
  
  This morning I woke to the sound of little green pumpkins exploding under the
  tires of his station wagon. Then Roscommon stumbled out and tore down our
  badminton net. 