title: Eat This Book: A Carnivore's Manifesto (Critical Perspectives on Animals: Theory, Culture, Science, and Law)
author: Dominique Lestel
description: Witty and comical yet always serious in its defense of meat eating,<i> Eat This Book</i> is a pure joy to read. (Brett Buchanan, Laurentian University)<br /><br /><i>Eat This Book</i> challenges ethical vegetarians with a variety of counterarguments to consider. Though some of the rhetoric may prove indigestible, such skepticism ultimately feeds the philosophic debate on diet. (Ralph R. Acampora, Hofstra University)
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  ![A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Carnivorous Carnival](cover.jpg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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  BOOK the Ninth
  
  
  THE CARNIVOROUS CARNIVAL
  
  
  by LEMONY SNICKET
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  For Beatrice – Our love broke my heart, and stopped yours.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
  ![](../images/Madame_Lulu.jpg)
  
  
    
  
  
  
  
  
  Chapter One
  
  
  When my workday is over, and I have closed my notebook, hidden my pen, and
  sawed holes in my rented canoe so that it cannot be found, I often like to
  spend the evening in conversation with my few surviving friends. Sometimes we
  discuss literature. Sometimes we discuss the people who are trying to destroy
  us, and if there is any hope of escaping from them. And sometimes we discuss
  frightening and troublesome animals that might be nearby, and this topic
  always leads to much disagreement over which part of a frightening and
  troublesome beast is the most frightening and troublesome. Some say the teeth
  of the beast, because teeth are used for eating c