title: When You Find Out the World Is Against You: And Other Funny Memories About Awful Moments
author:  Kelly Oxford 
description: Kelly is part geek, part freak. <em>When You Find Out The World Is Against You</em> shows us ourselves: our sensitivities, our awkward moments, our strange desires. She takes us through summer camp, dating, rape culture, Trump, death . . . Kelly Oxford cest moi. (James Franco)<br /><br />Two things Im grateful for: how imperfect Kelly Oxford is at life and decision-making, and how terrific she is at writing about what a goddamn mess she is. (Patton Oswalt)<br /><br />Kelly Oxfords writing is hilarious and fearless. Shes the badass Canadian sister I never had. (Mindy Kaling)<br /><br />I have worshipped the mind of Kelly Oxford for eons. Kelly Oxfords concise, whip-smart observations feel eerily universal. <em>When You Find Out the World is Against You</em> shows that there is something to be learned from even the most absurd or devastating moments of life. (Jill Soloway)<br /><br />Kelly Oxford is a beautiful writer. She finds beauty in the mundane and humor in everyday eccentricities. She is our present-day, funny Joan Didion. (Gia Coppola)
zlib_text: 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  **Things
  
  
  That Terrify Me the Most**  
  
  
    
  
  
  **Part
  
  
  1**
  
  
  
  
  
  "I
  
  
  used to sleep on planes."  
  
  
  "And now you'll close your eyes and try to clear your
  
  
  head." Long legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles. The private jet
  
  
  had just reached cruising altitude after taking off from the Venice airport.
  
  
  "Regrets?"  
  
  
  The blonde head turned from the window to look at her new
  
  
  lover. It had been a couple of months but the feelings the tall woman inspired
  
  
  still felt new. "Regrets about spending eternity with you?"  
  
  
  "Something like that."  
  
  
  "You know," a pink polished nail tapped on
  
  
  straight white teeth exposed by the large smile. "When I first heard about
  
  
  all this, I thought I'd run into a group of extremely disturbed people."  
  
  
  "And now?"  
  
  
  "I haven't slept in three months and I feel like I
  
  
  could beat the crap out of anyone I come across."  
  
  
  Kendall Mackey gave her companion the smile that had
  
  
  melted hundreds of hearts throughout her life. "Anyone?" 