title: Holy Cow!: Doggerel, Catnaps, Scapegoats, Foxtrots, and Horse FeathersSplendid Animal Words and Phrases
author:  Boze Hadleigh 
description: <div><B>Boze Hadleigh</B>, author of <I>Celebrity Feuds!</I> and <I>Hollywood and Whine</I>, has written more than 15 books. He holds a master's degree in journalism, speaks five languages, and has been a winner on Jeopardy! Boze also writes extensively for magazines, and his work has appeared in more than 100 publications including <I>TV Guide</I>, <I>Playboy</I>, and <I>Us</I>. The author splits his time, when not traveling the world, between Beverly Hills and Sydney, Australia.</div>
zlib_text: ![](Images/image00106.jpeg)
  
  ![](Images/image00107.jpeg)
  
  _For ma Maw Kathleen, the kindest buddie_  
   _I hae ever met._
  
  Contents
  
  Title
  
  Dedication
  
  1 Scart ‘N’ Wheech
  
  2 Staney Silence
  
  3 The Stravaiger
  
  4 Mince
  
  5 Time Tae Shoot the Craw!
  
  6 Soap-Joukers
  
  7 A Bucket in the Coarner
  
  8 Mibbe It’s the Cundies
  
  9 A Wee Slaver
  
  10 Hauf Chawed
  
  11 Pouin Hair
  
  12 Mingin Ming
  
  13 Shut Yer Geggie!
  
  14 The Lady and the Tink
  
  15 Bath Time
  
  16 Rule Britannia
  
  17 Cowped Bouffant
  
  18 Rabbit Droappins
  
  19 Superminger
  
  20 Clatty Cludgie Roll
  
  21 Weet Wipe
  
  22 Lang Lion Days
  
  23 Plastic Snawman
  
  24 Boak Boak Boakity Boak
  
  25 Bleck Leather Mistletae
  
  26 Wee Star
  
  Copyright
  
  1
  
  Scart ‘N’ Wheech
  
  Mr Mingin minged. He monged tae. And if it is guid Scots tae say he mingit,
  then he mingit as weel. He wis the mingiest mingin minger that ever lived.
  
  Mingin is the warst kind o smell. Mingin is warse than honkin. Honkin is warse
  than bowfin. Bowfin is warse than a guff. And a guff can sometimes be enough
  ta