title: When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends: Resolving the Most Complicated Relationship of Your Life
author:  Victoria Secunda 
description: <b>Victoria Secunda </b>is the author of<i>When You and Your Mother Cant Be Friends: Resolving the Most Complicated Relationship of Your Life</i>, <i>Women and Their Fathers: The Sexual and Romantic Impact of the First Man In Your Life</i>, and <i>Losing Your Parents, Finding Your Self: The Defining Turning Point of Adult Life</i>.<b> </b>Additionally, her writings have also appeared in <i>Harpers Bazaar, Glamour, </i>and <i>Womens Day</i>.<b> </b>She lives in Connecticut.
zlib_text: **ALSO BY** **David Sedaris**
  
   _Barrel Fever_
  
  _Naked_
  
  _Holidays on Ice_
  
  _Me Talk Pretty One Day_
  
  _For Hugh_
  
  Us and Them
  
  WHEN MY FAMILY FIRST MOVED to North Carolina, we lived in a rented house three
  blocks from the school where I would begin the third grade. My mother made
  friends with one of the neighbors, but one seemed enough for her. Within a
  year we would move again and, as she explained, there wasn’t much point in
  getting too close to people we would have to say good-bye to. Our next house
  was less than a mile away, and the short journey would hardly merit tears or
  even good-byes, for that matter. It was more of a "see you later" situation,
  but still I adopted my mother’s attitude, as it allowed me to pretend that not
  making friends was a conscious choice. I could if I wanted to. It just wasn’t
  the right time.
  
  Back in New York State, we had lived in the country, with no sidewalks or
  streetlights; you could leave the house and still be alone. But here, when you
  looked out 