title: You Can't Touch My Hair: And Other Things I Still Have to Explain
author:  Phoebe Robinson 
description: <b>Praise for <i>You Can&rsquo;t Touch My Hair</i><br>Featured in NPR Weekend Edition, <i>New York </i>Magazine, Refinery 29, and <i>Cosmo</i></b><br><br>&ldquo;A must-read...Phoebe Robinson discusses race and feminism in such a funny, real, and specific way, it penetrates your brain and stays with you.&rdquo;&mdash;<b>Ilana Glazer</b>, co-creator and co-star of <i>Broad City</i><br><br>&ldquo;Phoebe Robinson has a way of casually, candidly rough-housing with tough topics like race and sex and gender that makes you feel a little safer and a lot less alone. If something as wise and funny as <i>You Can't Touch My Hair</i> exists in the world, we can't all be doomed. Phoebe is my hero and this book is my wife.&rdquo;&mdash;<b>Lindy West</b>, <i>New York Times </i>bestselling author of <i>Shrill</i><br><br><i>&ldquo;You Can't Touch My Hair</i> is the book we need right now. Robinson makes us think about race and feminism in new ways, thanks to her whip-smart comedy and expert use of a pop culture reference. The future is very bright because Robinson and her book are in it.&rdquo;&mdash;<b>Jill Soloway</b>, creator of <i>Transparent</i><br><br>&ldquo;Smart, funny, and insightful.&rdquo;&mdash;<b>Carrie&#160;Brownstein</b>,&#160;<i>New York Times</i>&#160;bestselling author of<i>&#160;Hunger Makes Me a Modern Girl</i><br><br>"Honest, touching, laugh-out-loud funny.&rdquo;&mdash;<b>Kevin Bacon</b>, actor and musician<br><br>&ldquo;A must read! So funny!&rdquo;&mdash;<b>Danielle Brooks</b>,&#160;<i>Orange is the New Black</i>&#160;actress<br><br><i><i>&ldquo;You Can't Touch My Hair</i>&#160;</i>is one of the funniest books about race, dating, and Michael Fassbender. The world is burning, and Phoebe Robinson is the literary feminist savior we've been looking for.&rdquo;&mdash;<b>Hasan Minhaj</b>, senior correspondent on&#160;<i>The Daily Show</i><br><br>&ldquo;Trenchant and hilarious.&rdquo;&mdash;<b>St. Vincent</b>,<b> </b>musician<br><br>&ldquo;Phoebe Robinson says the things that need to be said, and does so eloquently and hilariously.&rdquo;&mdash;<b>Mara Wilson</b>, author of <i>Where Am I Now?</i><br><br>&ldquo;[Robinson&rsquo;s] essays range from the political to the personal to the pop-cultural&mdash;sometimes encompassing all three at the same time...[with a] highly distinct, personable voice that makes you feel like she's your high-school BFF.&rdquo;&mdash;<b><i>ELLE</i></b><br><br>&ldquo;[A] hilarious yet thought-provoking collection of essays...[Robinson&rsquo;s] writing covers both serious (i.e. race, gender, etc.) and lighthearted (e.g. pop culture) issues, all with her unique flair. In a nutshell, her book is a grab bag of entertainment and insight.&rdquo;&mdash;<b><i>Bustle</i></b><br><br>"Insightful...one of the most promising nonfiction voices to emerge this year.&rdquo;&mdash;<i><b>Essence&#160;</b></i><br><br>&ldquo;[B]y sharing her less sublime experiences with her signature blend of honesty and humor we're used to from 2 Dope Queens&hellip;she offers amusing insights that don't come off as heavy-handed.&rdquo;&mdash;<b>Mother Jones</b><br><br>&ldquo;Moving, poignant, witty, and funny&hellip;a promising debut by a talented, genuinely funny writer.&rdquo;&mdash;<i><i><b>Publishers Weekly</b> <br></i></i><br>&ldquo;Uproarious...Robinson reflects on the annoying parts of black life in America with humor and soul.&rdquo;&mdash;<i><b>RedBook</b></i><br><b>&#160;</b><br> &ldquo;<i>You Can&rsquo;t Touch My Hair</i> achieves the impressive feat of being an accessible, fun read covering some serious issues; half of it is hilarious and the other half (see: the title) makes you think, 'It sucks this needs saying at all.'&rdquo;&mdash;<b>The Portland Mercury</b><br><br>&ldquo;[a] biting and hilarious debut.&rdquo;&mdash;<b>Refinery29</b>,&#160;"The Best Books Of 2016 So Far"&#160;<br><br>&ldquo;[M]ore like a conversation than a set of essays &mdash; one that [Robinson] and many other people of color are sick of having. [Robinson] confronts critical subjects like the historical representations of black hair in media, problematic casting calls for people of color, and which member of U2 she&rsquo;d like to sleep with in descending order of hotness. In other words, this is not a definitive tome on race and hair politics, nor is it trying to be. It is clear that Robinson&rsquo;s comedy background is at the forefront of the collection. If she is going to have to have this conversation, she is going to do it on her own terms.&rdquo;&mdash;<i><b>Los Angeles Review of Books</b></i><br><br>&ldquo;Raw, authentic, and seriously funny...Robinson clearly is one of the most influential voices of her generation.&rdquo;&mdash;<b>Bitch Media</b>
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  “DON’T TOUCH HER. DON’T TOUCH HER.  
  FOR GOD’S SAKE, DO NOT TOUCH HER!”
  
  This was his only coherent thought, an increasingly frantic litany, as her
  lips burned beneath his.
  
  Suddenly her eyelids snapped open. With a sound of utter horror her lips broke
  free. “Oh, my Lord!”
  
  She jerked away, tumbling off the rail and landing flat on her back. He
  followed her, vaulting over the stile and standing above her as she stared
  wild-eyed up at him.
  
  “I didn’t touch you!” he shouted.
  
  “I know that!” she shouted back, and began thrashing about, trying to get
  upright.
  
  In her frenzy her skirt hiked high above her knees, displaying lace-trimmed
  undergarments—Lily Bede, lace? Pins flew from her head and a cascade of
  gleaming black corkscrew curls fell around her neck and shoulders in an inky
  fantasy of abandonment.
  
  “You might want to fix your—petticoats,” he whispered.
  
  She hitched up her chin and looked him squarely in the eye. Fascinated, he
  waited to see what she would do next….