title: Foul Limericks from the Land of the Absurd: A Picture Book for Groan-ups
author: David Wilcox
description: David R. Wilcox didnt start writing seriously until 1999. Since then he has had short stories published and five plays produced. He has collected numerous awards for his play writing, including first prize in the University of Illinois Gun Play competition in 2014 and first place for a new play in Chameleon Theatres 2015 competition in Minneapolis. For the past several years, Wilcox has taught theatre appreciation and produced various stage productions in the East Bay Area of California. Foul Limericks from the Land of the Absurd came from Wilcoxs need for respite while writing a gut-twisting drama: Latent Image, which is nearing completion. Town Hall Theatre in Lafayette, Calif. sponsored a fully staged public reading of the play in August 2015. Wilcox lives with his wife Jean, an award-winning actor and director, in Walnut Creek, Calif. He expects to publish his first novel, a murder mystery tentatively titled Curtain of Beads in 2016. Simon Goodway is a freelance artist living in the U.K. After working for a few years as a software engineer he switched to illustrating full time in 2005 and hasn't looked back since. He has illustrated children's books, greetings cards, corporate logos, and all manner of things from skateboards to magic tricks.
zlib_text: 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [ Chapter One ](Banished_Bride-toc.html#TOC-1)
  
  
  The dice hit the scarred wood with the rattle and crack of musket fire. A
  sharp howl followed, as if the dotted cubes of ivory had indeed dealt a mortal
  wound.
  
  “May Lucifer be poxed. I’m done for!”
  
  A rumble of drunken laughter greeted the slurred words.
  
  “Aw, stop your infernal moanings and have another tipple, Woodbridge. It’s
  still early and your luck is bound to come around.”
  
  The other gentlemen who were pressed cheek to jowl around the gaming table
  nodded while the one who had spoken groped for the large wad of vowels and
  shifted them a bit closer to his person. “Let’s have another throw, but, say,
  at double the stakes this time—” The words dissolved in a loud belch and
  hiccup. Uncorking another bottle of port, he sloshed a generous amount in each
  of the empty glasses before him. “To make it interesting, I’ll put up five
  thousand pounds against each of you in turn.”
  
  “Damn nip cheese of a pater won’t spring fo