title: The Rookie Mom's Handbook: 250 Activities to Do with (and Without!) Your Baby
author:  Heather Gibbs Flett 
description: <b>Heather Gibbs Flett</b> is a Web producer. She lives in Berkeley, California, with her husband, Alec, and two boys, Holden and Milo.<b>Whitney Moss</b> is a marketing professional. She lives in Berkeley, California, with her husband, Ryan, and two children, Julian and Scarlett.<i>The Rookie Moms Handbook </i>was inspired by a blog that Whitney and Heather started in 2005. Learn more at www.rookiemoms.com.
zlib_text: Dedication
  Dedicated	to	my	awesome	family.
  I	couldn’t	do	it	without	you.
  Then	again,	there’s	no	way	in	hell
  you	could	do	it	without	me	either.
  
  Contents
  Dedication
  Introduction
  BE	THE	BEST	DAMN	MEDIOCRE	PARENT	YOU	CAN	BE
  You	might	be	a	mediocre	mom	if	.	.	.
  Girl	Scout	troop	leaders	F’ing	rock,	which	is	exactly	why	I	shouldn’t	be
  one
  Shit	I	do	that	I	know	I	shouldn’t	do
  A	love	letter	to	another	mediocre	mom
  A	completely	unscientific	study	about	multitasking
  Twenty-eight	ways	being	a	mom	is	like	being	in	prison
  TELL	THOSE	OVERACHIEVING	MOMS	TO	SUCK	IT
  Only	a-holes	send	chain	letters
  A	bunch	of	things	I	do	that	would	make	overachieving	moms	think	I’m	a
  shitty	mom,	and	maybe	they’re	right	but	I	don’t	care
  Yo	douchebags	who	constantly	brag	on	Facebook,	this	chapter’s	for	you
  But	all	you	did	on	your	birthday	was	slide	out	my	hooha
  YOU	WANT	TO	WATCH	MY	CHILD?	BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!	OH
  WAIT,	YOU’RE	SERIOUS
  A	letter	to	my	kids’	teachers
  Halle-F’ing-lujah,	both	kids	are	finally	in	school
  What	NOT	to	F