title: Now I Can See The Moon: A Story of a Social Panic, False Memories, and a Life Cut Short
author:  Alice Tallmadge 
description: "This book, visceral and urgently depicted, creates an intensive portrait of a family in the throes of misfortune and desperation.The author's crisis of conscienceforms the memoir's core as the powerful book also astutely addresses the issues of social panic and mental illness.potent and compassionate."<br /> <i>Kirkus Reviews</i><br /><br /> This wrenching story illuminates the dark days of recovered memory, issuing a warning thats all too relevant to fake news in America today.<br /> Meredith Maran, author of <i>My Lie: A True Story of Recovered Memory and The New Old Me</i><br /><br /> Alice Tallmadge entwines memoir and literary journalism in this heart-rending account of her bright, talented, and deeply troubled niece, whose downward spiral in the 1980s was abetted by mass hysteria over so-called satanic ritual abuse of children. Tallmadge takes to task the shockingly credulous (or self-serving) doctors, therapists, academics, and popular authors who perpetuated that unfounded craze, and casts the same unsparing eye on herself as she struggles with grief and guilt and wins through, in the beautiful final pages, to a new, hard-earned dimension of being.<br /> John Daniel, author of <em>Gifted</em> and <em>Rogue River Journal</em>, 2011 Oregon Book Award recipient for literary nonfiction<br /><br /> In <em>Now I Can See the Moon</em>, Alice Tallmadge tells the story of a beloved niece lost to suicide. She weaves together strands of family love, false memories, mental illness, faith, and our inability to speak in a haunting story about what we need to be whole and what we are willing to give those we love. <br /> Sallie Tisdale, author of <em>Violation: Collected Essays</em><br /><br /> <em>Now I Can See the Moon</em> is the first thoughtful account of a family caught in the vise of the ritual abuse panic that swept the country in the 1980s and early 1990s. Tallmadge takes us through a long, slow wringer of doom. Its the private doom of caring deeply for someone whos gravely mentally ill and wanting to help, yet suspecting that the accepted method of help is making things much worse. Its the civic doom of slowly, painstakingly realizing that a country-wide hysteria engulfed ones own familynegating good sense, love, and even life itself. For every friend, family member and mental health professional who was sucked into the panic, Tallmadges quiet, beautifully written memoir will be painful but necessary reading. <br /> Debbie Nathan, coauthor of <em>Satans Silence: Ritual Abuse and the Making of a Modern American Witch Hunt</em> and author of <em>Sybil Exposed: The Extraordinary Story Behind the Famous Multiple Personality Case</em><br /><br /> "Alice Tallmadges magnificent memoir is a story told with the intimacy of a family member, and the breathtakingly beautiful writing of a terrific journalist. Its a story of false memories that has afflicted so many families in the last half century. I commend <i>Now I Can See the Moon</i> for understanding the problem, and communicating it so superbly." Elizabeth Loftus, Distinguished Professor, University of California, Irvine; Past President, Association for Psychological Science; Author, <i>Eyewitness Testimony</i><br /><br /> "What I admire most about Alice Tallmadge's memoir, <i>Now I Can See The Moon</i>, is its tenderness. The book has a necessary, hard edge, too, but Tallmadge does a masterful job of tempering the narrative's journalistic thread with tremendous love and compassion for her troubled niece and her parents/siblings. The honesty that shines through this difficult story-not just about Michelle and her family, but Tallmadge's own struggles to find her place in the world-brings the reader hope and peace. A reaffirmation of the ultimate power of love."<br /> Debra Gwartney, author of the memoir <i>Live Through This</i>
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  OTHER TITLES BY ELIZA GRAHAM
  
  
  Playing with the Moon
  
  
  Restitution
  
  
  Jubilee
  
  
  The History Room
  
  
  Blitz Kid
  
  
  The One I Was
  
  
  Another Day Gone
  
  
  The Lines We Leave Behind
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, organizations, places, events,
  and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used
  fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual
  events is purely coincidental.
  
  
  Text copyright © 2019 by Eliza Graham
  
  
  All rights reserved.
  
  
  No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or
  transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying,
  recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.
  
  
  Published by Lake Union Publishing, Seattle
  
  
  [www.apub.com](http://www.apub.com)
  
  
  Amazon, the Amazon logo, and Lake Union Publishing are trademarks of
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