title: Kayak Morning: Reflections on Love, Grief, and Small Boats
author:  Roger Rosenblatt 
description: Two and a half years after the death of his daughter, Amy, author and essayist Rosenblatt still found himself lost in grief and anger. He took to his kayak in search of peace and found a way to ponder grief, if not lose it. Rosenblatt is poetic in remembrances from his career and personal lifemany of Amy as child, as wife, as mother, as healer. He offers small observations on life and waterways and the careful navigation of both. The quiet moments on Pennimans Creek lend themselves to recollections of literary allusions, as do the more perilous or spectacular adventures on water in Rwanda, Latvia, Galpagos, and Wyoming. Mostly, he struggles with his anger and longing for Amy as he copes with grief, admitting that writing Making Toast (2010) offered only temporary relief. Skeptical of the solace others offer in beliefs in the afterlife, he finds solace instead in quiet mornings alone in the kayak, drifting in the creek and coming to terms with the fact that Amy lives in his love of her. A beautiful contemplation on love and grief. --Vanessa Bush
zlib_text: AMERICAN BOYFRIEND
  LOVE IN WASHINGTON
  
  CHANCE CARTER
  
  Contents
  Washington
  Personal Invitation
  Also by Chance Carter
  
  A
  W A S H I N G T O N
  fter a long voyage, we finally pull into the naval base at Everett, Washington. The officers around
  me are all cheering, excited to dock and have a night on the town. They couldn’t he happier.
  I don’t know how they can be so happy after the grueling training exercise we just went through. I
  can’t bring myself to join the celebrating.
  I’m still heartbroken.
  It happened so many years ago, but still, I keep waking up in the middle of the night in cold
  sweats. I can’t shake what happened from my mind.
  We were out on the ocean and a high seas storm rolled in from what felt like nowhere. It
  completely blindsided us. We were going through our exercises and there was a crack from the sky
  like God coming to whip us, to punish us, but only He knew what for.
  The ship rocked wildly and there was water everywhere. I never saw so many hardened sailors
  lose their 