title: Don't Ask for the Dead Man's Golf Clubs:  Advice for Friends When Someone Dies
author: Lynn Kelly
description: "Immediate first reaction: IT'S ABOUT TIME! A much-needed addition for anyone and everyone who has faced separation through death. This priceless jewel sparks a glint of fresh air in struggling with what to do for someone in the midst of grief. <P>"This book invited one to spend two minutes to glance through or 30 minutes to browse. What it does is empower, because of its straightforward, practical suggestions on what to do, when to do it and a few tidbits on what not to do or say. For those who share the grief, it clears the cobwebs from a "strained brain" which always accompanies sadness from having 'lost' a friend or family member... <P>"Kelly's book sparks its own imagination in the confidence that just being a friend in a tough situation means just being a friend. I wish I had this resource a long time ago. Copies will be kept on hand for instantaneous gifts when needed." -- <i>Holly Bartges, Quest Magazine</i><br /><br />"This small book fills a large void in helping friends figure out how to show their support to those who have lost a loved one. Full of practical advice culled from interviews with survivors of all ages, the book suggests things to say and do and what not to say or do--an invaluable guide for friends of survivors." -- <i>Tom Auer, Publisher, Bloomsbury Review</i><br /><br />"Through what may seem to be a series of simple comments, observations and epigrams, Kelly tells an essential truth; in life, there are no guarantees, there are no promises, there are no certainties other than death. How we deal with it, for good or ill, is what makes us human. <P>"This is a book that touched me, enraged me, made me laugh, cry and remember. I remembered those who had gone before and those I could not bear to lose. <P>"And I thought of my grandfather. His fishing gear. And all the friends who appeared before his body was cold asking for just 'something to remember him by'. <P>"The truth is here, in a way that provides better advice and more insight than a hundred grief therapy books. It is the human experience --shared. -- <i>Greg Moody, Author/Reporter, KCNC TV Denver</i>
zlib_text: 
  
  
  [ABOUT THE AUTHOR](contents.xhtml#c_ata)
  
  
  ![image](../images/author.jpg)
  
  
  [GAIL
  OUST](http://us.macmillan.com/author/gailoust?utm_source=ebook&utm_medium=adcard&utm_term=ebookreaders&utm_content=gailoust_authorpage_macdotcom&utm_campaign=9781466893122)
  is often accused of flunking retirement. Hearing the words “Maybe it’s a dead
  body” while golfing fired up her imagination for writing a cozy. Ever since
  then, she has spent more time on a computer than at a golf course. She lives
  with her husband in McCormick, South Carolina. Visit her online at
  [www.gailoust.com](http://www.gailoust.com), or sign up for email updates
  [here](http://us.macmillan.com/authoralerts?authorName=gailoust&authorRefId=60449937&utm_source=ebook&utm_medium=adcard&utm_term=ebookreaders&utm_content=gailoust_authoralertsignup_macdotcom&utm_campaign=9781466893122).
  
  
  [![image](../images/fb-logo.png)](https://www.facebook.com/Gail-
  Oust-198720716838825/)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [ACKNOWLEDGMENTS](contents.xhtml#c_ack)
  
  
  My sincere