TEXT: TM
  DERBY GIRLS DESTROY DC
  CAMPAIGN STARTER KIT
  Unknown Armies campaign starter kits help you get started 
  running your Unknown Armies campaign quickly. Each kit 
  features the following:
  • Five characters, broken and damaged and ready to go.
  • One group objective for the cabal to pursue.
  • A first session scenario to get things moving quickly.
  • GM hooks, additional objective ideas, GMCs, and
  suggestions for the antagonist phase.
  With this campaign starter kit, you have all that you need 
  to fuel your imagination and get things moving. The kit takes 
  the place of the initial planning and collaborative character 
  and setting creation system provided in Unknown Armies. 
  Players select a character, choose one or two additional rela-
  tionships with the other player characters, and make these 
  obsessed individuals their own.
  Derby Girls Destroy DC is about a team of roller derby 
  champs who, rightly or wrongly, believe that reptoids have 
  infiltrated the highest corridors of power. They seek to 
  uncover the truth, root out the reptoid menace, and smash 
  their opposition in roller derby matches (not necessarily in 
  that order). 
  The characters are:
  • Dana Skull-y: She’s the team’s pivot, founder, and a
  true believer.
  • Area 69: She’s the blocker and resident anarcho-femi-
  nist anti-capitalist.
  • Foxy Muffler: She’s the party girl and a child of
  DC royalty.
  • Rose-well Endowed: She’s the jammer and a
  total witch.
  • Nancy Collins: She’s the one chronicling the team’s
  fight against the reptoids.
  Like most Unknown Armies scenarios and stories, this kit 
  includes and deals with mature themes, characters, and situ-
  ations. Talk with your players if you are concerned about the 
  content, and be prepared to explore the world of the occult 
  underground through new eyes and alternate points of view.
  
  2
  THE CABAL
  Objective: Get enough information on the “reptoids” to prove, at least internally, that they’re totally a real thing that 
  is happening.
  Nobody thinks that the nation’s capital is free of corruption 
  and these days it seems as if every politician and lobbyist is 
  chin-deep in the swamp. And while it’s easy to pin this down 
  to simple partisan bickering and political scandals, there are 
  some who believe the swamp is populated by gators. Or, 
  to be precise, reptoids out to subvert humanity and bring 
  about the end of the world as we know it. The only thing 
  standing between the mundanes and the coming repto-oc-
  cult apocalypse may be those brave enough to embrace this 
  belief and hit it, hard, at high speed.
  WHO THEY ARE
  The XXX-Files have been a cohesive roller derby team for 
  the better part of five years now. Area 69’s been with team 
  founder Dana Skull-y the longest; Rose-well Endowed is the 
  newest recruit. Journalist Nancy Collins isn’t on the team, of 
  course, but she’s so regularly hanging out, taking pictures, 
  and even traveling to out of town matches so they talk a lot. 
  And that talk always seems to come back to reptoids.
  Three years ago, after a match, Area and Dana were 
  minding their own business with Rose’s predecessor Traci 
  “Deep Throat” Ortiz when a junior senator stumbled out of 
  a nightclub and started a fight with them. Area got cold-
  cocked, and so only Dana was conscious enough to see 
  the senator’s true form when he ripped off his skin and ate 
  Traci’s face. Dana’s sure, Area’s unsure, and everyone else is 
  somewhere in the middle.
  The thing is, everyone agrees that Dana saw something 
  terrible on the night their former jammer disappeared. They 
  want to be on the same page, and that’s why their focus 
  now is to find proof that the senator is or isn’t what Dana 
  claims he is.
  DANA SKULL-Y
  Dana founded the XXX-Files roller derby team around the 
  same time she got heavily involved in fringe theories and 
  conspiracies about aliens. She’s the one on the team who 
  believes the hardest, and she’s the one who feels she has 
  first-hand proof. Dana is the pivot on the team, which 
  means her job is to call the plays and lead the others to 
  victory. 
  AREA 69
  Area is short and mean and the best blocker in the region, 
  to hear most people tell it. She’s also constantly irritated 
  by the way “the system” (AKA society) works and wants to 
  just tear the whole thing down with her bare hands. Area 
  doesn’t really believe in reptoids, but she does believe that 
  they’re a useful metaphor on the road to anarchy and the 
  end of the existing oppressive power structures, so why not. 
  During a jam, Area’s role is to get in the way of the other 
  team’s path to victory. She’s not as good as everyone says, 
  but she’s on her way up.
  FOXY MUFFLER
  Foxy was raised in a family of DC movers and shakers and 
  had a specific idea about power drummed into her from an 
  early age. She’s obsessed with using her resources to even-
  tually grab a wealthy husband, but she’s buried this a little 
  at the moment as she indulges in a partying lifestyle and a 
  string of relationships with men and women. On the team, 
  she’s as much eye candy as she is a scoring member, but she 
  revels in the physical activity and keeps things moving hard.
  ROSE-WELL ENDOWED
  Rose is the jammer brought on to replace Traci “Deep 
  Throat” Ortiz, who died horribly on the night that got this 
  whole reptoid thing started. She was introduced to the 
  group by Foxy and has adopted the girls as her “sweeties.” 
  Unlike the others, she’s already deep into the occult way 
  of life as an actual witch, but she is not an adept in the 
  truest sense.
  
  3
  NANCY COLLINS
  Nancy’s a photojournalist and blogger who got started by 
  looking to write about derby and was swept into the whole 
  reptoid conspiracy that Dana is spinning. She’s very much 
  not a member of the team and wouldn’t try roller derby 
  even if she thought it would bring her a better story, but 
  she’s taken the best pictures of the women they’ve ever 
  seen and she’s enthusiastic and ambitious. She’s almost 
  always around them, chronicling their story.
  SAMPLE RELATIONSHIPS
  In addition to the single relationships detailed in the char-
  acter bios, below are other likely relations between the 
  cabal or GMCs.
  • Dana’s got a strong sense of responsibility to Nancy, 
  but she’s also close to the others on the team. Any 
  one of them makes a good candidate for a relationship. 
  Perhaps the most notable would be Area 69, who 
  could be Dana’s favorite due to their long history.
  • Area 69 really digs Foxy but she has a different 
  approach to the other jammers on her team, treating 
  them as allies in her ongoing crusade against the 
  kyriarchy. One example of another relationship of 
  note might be Rose, who is Traci’s replacement and 
  could be an excellent protégé for Area.
  • Foxy brought Rose in because she was smitten with 
  her, and she looks up to both Dana and Area: either 
  could be her mentor or a guru.
  • Rose harbors feelings for Foxy and she could be Foxy’s 
  favorite, but Rose is more likely to move on now that 
  the whole team could be her responsibility. And just 
  because she’s new doesn’t mean she won’t assign 
  herself to one of the others as an influence, especially 
  with her witchy knowledge. She might choose Nancy 
  to be her protégé in the occult.
  • Nancy considers Dana her spiritual guide but there’s a 
  lot to be learned about derby and the way the world’s 
  supposed to work from Area. This contrast of Area as 
  mentor and Dana as guru could be fruitful for Nancy 
  during play.
  WHO THEY’RE UP AGAINST
  The primary antagonists of this campaign are the Blue Ties, 
  although who and what they are is part of the developing 
  story that you create with the players. In most games, it’s 
  pretty clear and obvious what the mystery is, and usually 
  we’d fill you in on all the details, but that’s not the case here. 
  Instead, this kit provides you with hooks, stats, and situa-
  tions, and lets you decide where you go with it.
  THE BLUE TIES
  All three of these guys are at the party in the first session 
  of the campaign, and their stats here also include what 
  happens if and when the XXX-Files follow them back home. 
  You can use that information later in the campaign if they 
  weren’t followed after the party, as a means of adding more 
  weirdness to any encounter with them or if you’d like to 
  spring some surprises on the derby girls.
  ALEX FISHER
  Alex went to law school and now spends his time intim-
  idating witnesses and low-key threatening cops who get in 
  the way when the boys are having a good time. In terms of 
  lawyers, he is as crooked as they come, and cunning enough 
  to get away with it for the rest of his life. Slick, handsome, a 
  sort of a devil’s advocate embodied. 
  Wound Threshold: 55. 
  Obsession: Winning. Alex just loves to win and will occa-
  sionally create conflict just for the sake of winning. 
  Fear Stimulus: (Self) Alex is terrified of people discovering 
  his handsome faÇade is just that. He’ll kill to protect the lie.
  Noble Stimulus: Alex is extremely loyal to his buddies. 
  Rage Stimulus: Losing his cool drives Alex up a wall. 
  Blue Tie 55%*: Provides Initiative, Provides Wound 
  Threshold, Substitutes for Violence (* obsession identity).
  Lawyer 
  65%: 
  Coerces 
  Helplessness, 
  Protects 
  Self, 
  Substitutes for Status. 
  After the party, Alex gets home then goes out again, 
  starting a fight with a pair of bikers, who he rips limb from 
  limb with impossible inhuman strength, but no obvious 
  lizard-person transformation. 
  HENRY FORTHMAN
  He’s a little like Politician Bot 214, a frame to carry a 
  program of perfect political aspiration. If there’s more to 
  him, it doesn’t show; he’s just benign opinions and big soul-
  less eyes to go along with his plastic conversation. Henry is 
  a toothy smile and talking points, but there’s very little to 
  him past that. 
  Wound Threshold: 55.
  Fear Stimulus: (Helplessness) Threats to his physical well-
  being in public cause Henry to flee.
  Noble Stimulus: Henry doesn’t have noble intent but will 
  behave as a “good man” is expected to in public.
  ALEX FISHER
  Notches
  Violence 
  Unnatural
  Helplessness
  Isolation
  Self
  Hardened
  3
  1
  3
  2
  2
  Failed
  2
  0
  3
  3
  2
  HENRY FORTHMAN
  Notches
  Violence 
  Unnatural
  Helplessness
  Isolation
  Self
  Hardened
  3
  1
  2
  2
  1
  Failed
  1
  0
  2
  3
  1
  
  4
  Rage Stimulus: Threats to his physical wellbeing in private 
  will be met with extreme force.
  Blue Tie 55%*: Provides Initiative, Provides Wound 
  Threshold, Substitutes for Violence (* obsession identity).
  Politician 65%: Coerces Connect, Protects Helplessness, 
  Substitutes for Status.
  After the party, Henry leaves and goes back to his hotel. If 
  they can get inside, or at least get a shot of him through a 
  window, they see him “unplug” his face and set it aside, though 
  they can’t get a clear shot of what’s under the face mask. 
  RUSSELL “RUSTY” WHITEHALL
  Rusty is a charming, young southern gentleman, but he’s 
  also a high-level drug dealer with access to everything from 
  prescriptions to designer substances to hardcore street 
  drugs. Friendly, outgoing, and always quick to offer a free 
  taste. 
  Wound Threshold: 55. 
  Obsession: Rusty doesn’t just sell drugs — he’s deeply 
  driven to experience every chemical a human being has ever 
  snorted, shot, or smoked. 
  Fear Stimulus: (Violence) Getting caught with the goods.
  Noble Stimulus: Despite the stereotype, Rusty does like to 
  share, and “the first one’s free” is not a trick with him. 
  Rage Stimulus: Smug sobriety. 
  Blue Tie 55%*: Provides Initiative, Provides Wound 
  Threshold, Substitutes for Violence (* obsession identity).
  Dealer 65%: Coerces Isolation, Protects Self, Substitutes 
  for Connect.
  Rusty goes back to his hotel room after the party. 
  Through his window, the characters can see him take a glass 
  from the complementary bar, break it, crush it with his bare 
  fist, and then once it’s basically sand, take a thin metal tube 
  and snort the glass shards. 
  THE WOMAN
  Also known as MacMillan’s Lady or just the Lady. She’s the 
  mysterious antagonist who never actually appears until 
  she fakes her own suicide near the end of the story. The 
  XXX-Files should discover that she’s behind the scenes 
  pulling strings and that the Blue Ties aren’t the only thing 
  they should be worried about. How and when she finally 
  makes her big appearance is likely the subject of the next arc 
  but see “What’s Going On Here?” at the end of this kit for 
  more suggestions.
  SHARED LOCATIONS
  If you live outside of Washington, DC, you might not 
  have any idea that inhabitants of the nation’s capital don’t 
  have self-governance the way the rest of the nation does. 
  Everything is federal, and all rules and laws are for the 
  benefit of the Beltway. For those who live and work in here, 
  the system’s corruption is plain to see, and for the XXX-Files 
  and their fans, it often means life without a voice despite 
  the powerful and wealthy being just a stone’s throw away.
  THE BUNKER
  Six years ago, Dana received just enough money in a 
  wrongful death suit to purchase a warehouse and build the 
  Bunker, a gym and track for modern roller derby. Women 
  from all over DC come here, pay dues, and use the workout 
  equipment in a space free of gym rats and judgmental 
  dudes. But more, women try out derby just to say that 
  they did. The XXX-Files are an official team on the circuit, 
  with the Bunker a stop for teams from all over the country. 
  It’s not exactly making money hand over fist, but Dana’s 
  doing all right. Aunt Vivian would have liked the place, 
  but the hospital killed her so Dana hopes she haunts the 
  Bunker now.
  Aside from the gym equipment and the track, there’s 
  the office/apartment where Dana lives. The whole place 
  is decorated from floor to ceiling with conspiracy theory 
  regalia, both Dana’s personal obsessions and weird funny 
  ones she’s come across over the years.  
  At this location, the team can expect to:
  • Work out.
  • Compete in a derby jam.
  • Encourage or spot other women there to exercise.
  • Read conspiracy theories.
  • Plan, eat, drink, and hang out in relative safety.
  Of course, this is still DC, and even though the team isn’t 
  especially important in the grand scheme of things, tenta-
  cles of corruption — or at least the results of corruption — 
  occasionally creep into the Bunker.
  The Bunker is not actually haunted, but weird things do 
  occasionally happen, most often when Dana’s alone. The 
  fact is, a few of her souvenirs are the vector for minor 
  phenomena. It’s an almost-seen but Dana doesn’t know that 
  and may grow to think it’s a reptoid. When Rose learns of 
  it, she’s likely to try to end the phenomena to protect her 
  friends from the truth.
  Important GMCs present at this location are:
  FARRAH FARNSWORTH
  Hard-Working Lobbyist 60%
  In her forties, fit, and lovely, Farrah comes to the gym to 
  stay in shape and escape the stress of the Beltway. She’s a 
  lobbyist and congressional hopeful, but not too bad a person. 
  She’s married to a very bad man, but the team only suspects it. 
  They don’t know how real it is, or how bad “bad” is. 
  RUSTY WHITEHALL
  Notches
  Violence 
  Unnatural
  Helplessness
  Isolation
  Self
  Hardened
  2
  1
  3
  2
  1
  Failed
  2
  0
  3
  3
  1
  See page 82 
  of Book One: 
  Play.
  
  5
  BETSY BOMB-ASS-TIC
  Badass Derby Captain 80%
  Leader of the rival Baltimore Bombers derby team. The 
  whole team comes by to train pretty frequently as they 
  don’t have their own registered track. Betsy’s got an atti-
  tude problem, and while she gets along with the team well, 
  it’s only a matter of time before she runs afoul of DC’s trig-
  ger-happy law enforcement. 
  ALAN
  Creepy Fanboy 45%
  He’s a derby fanatic. He loves all things derby and follows 
  any derby girl around like a puppy. He doesn’t technically 
  violate boundaries, but he’s still kind of a creep. So far, the 
  team has let it go because he seems harmless and rumor 
  has it he’s connected to some powerful relatives, but no one 
  knows for sure.
  ERIN’S BAR AND GRILL 
  Just like any city, DC has various strata of bars, from cop 
  bars to places for truckers and bikers, to clubs just for the 
  young, ones by country of origin, and of course the places 
  the elite drink. What’s sort of unique to DC is there are 
  certain clandestine drinking holes where the men in politics 
  can “safely” meet with the sorts of people they create laws 
  to criminalize by day but they desperately want to be with 
  at night.
  Erin’s wasn’t always this kind of place, it once had a proud 
  history with lovely architectural features. But as its neigh-
  borhood went downhill then back up again, it was forgotten 
  by most. Now, it caters to the powerful and the powerless. 
  It’s where senators meet their coke dealers without being 
  bothered. Where cops and private military contractors hang 
  out in plain clothes to make sure the status quo isn’t inter-
  rupted, and where lobbyists purchase women for conser-
  vative congressmen under the table, sometimes literally. 
  No one asks questions here, and not many outsiders are 
  welcome inside. Among them are Foxy and as long as she 
  doesn’t cause too much trouble, no one is willing to deal 
  with the nastiness of trying to stop her. The rest of the 
  team occasionally drink with her there, but never without 
  her. They don’t know exactly what kind of a place it is. Not 
  as intimately as Foxy does.
  At this location, the team can expect to:
  • Get hit on by old drunk men with too much money 
  and too little sense. 
  • Overhear deeply coded political gossip. 
  • Meet the sex workers with an “in” to the Beltway. 
  • Get hassled by private contractors if they start any 
  trouble. 
  • Hear the whispers of the demons haunting the 
  powerful and corrupt. 
  Foxy pretends she comes here for the thrill of it, and 
  maybe that’s partially true. She also comes here, and brings 
  the others, because she’s collecting intel and potential 
  blackmail material. But like any secret place full of powerful 
  men, the power here is not strictly terrestrial. Magick — 
  dark magick — abounds. Once the team has discovered 
  more about the realities of the occult underground they 
  might come here to learn more. 
  
  6
  The place is, simply, a demon magnet. At first, the team 
  won’t be able to tell this, but later in the campaign, they 
  may realize the building is an ideal place to get in contact 
  with a demon. Why they would want to, however, is another 
  matter. The demons who are drawn to the bar are especially 
  manipulative and expert liars, as they were in life. Are these 
  the damned souls of the heads of state? That’s what they 
  claim, for sure. 
  Important GMCs present at this location are:
  COLIN HAMILTON
  Old Money Barfly 65%
  A man of lineage and power. His father and his grandfa-
  ther were senators and his great grandfather was a general. 
  He... is a pathetic drunk, the sad fellow more successful men 
  invite to parties and golfing to feel superior to. He’s tied up 
  in some Beltway religious group but doesn’t talk about it 
  much. Given enough to drink, he talks about a lot of other 
  things, however. 
  MARGERETTE MADEWELL 
  Clued-In Sex Worker 70%
  A professional Domme who meets her clients here to 
  subtly humiliate them in public and gets paid top dollar 
  for it. She knows so much about the men who worship her 
  boots that she’s aware how deadly they can be. She is very 
  careful about gossip because of this.
  FRANK 
  Burned Out Mercenary 60%
  He’s seen some shit. He wasn’t in the military, not prop-
  erly so, but he was a private contractor for a subsidiary of a 
  subsidiary of a subsidiary doing very questionable things to 
  soldiers and insurgents alike. He’s damaged but loyal, and 
  to get anything juicy out of him, someone would have to 
  dig into his personal nightmares and appear to share his 
  damaged world view. 
  MARISSA 
  Professional Bartender 65%
  She tends the bar four nights a week. She’s not paying her 
  way through school. She doesn’t want a sugar daddy. She 
  just wants to earn her money and forget about this place 
  when she’s not here. But the men love her because she’s 
  off-limits. It could put her in a bad position someday, and 
  she knows it. 
  RITUAL SPACE
  Everyone who’s been there kind of loves Rose’s little 
  house in it’s quiet part of DC. It always smells a little bit 
  like cinnamon and spicy herbs. It’s always the right amount 
  of warm or cool depending on the season, and the light’s 
  always slightly dimmer than you’d expect… though it’s still 
  comfortable. The tiny row home isn’t magickal, though. Not 
  exactly. That’s all Rose’s hard work.
  The real magick of the place is in Rose’s secret basement, 
  where the ritual chamber built by her strega grandmother 
  decades before. 
  At this location, the PCs can expect to:
  • Get some rest and clean up.
  • Feel a little more centered despite how weird it’s 
  getting. 
  • Lick their wounds and treat their injuries. 
  • Worry about how long before this place ends up 
  corrupted too. 
  • Discover Rose’s secret and/or that magick is real. 
  It’s unlikely that strangers or outsiders are hanging around 
  in Rose’s home, and so the team can’t expect to meet too 
  many GMCs unless they’re trying to reach out to the team 
  and get invited there. The place isn’t haunted or anything 
  exciting, but because of the ritual space and Rose’s witch-
  craft, it’s possible that unnatural entities may pop up, or at 
  least some phenomena, if it would spice up an otherwise 
  calm re-grouping or planning scene. 
  OTHER LOCATIONS
  DC was built by Freemasons and so every major building 
  and historical landmark has occult significance. Maybe. 
  Probably. Here is a brief list of places that have weirdness, at 
  least according to rumors: 
  • Memorial Park has gremlins.
  • The Lincoln Memorial hides a secret stash of gold and 
  a handful of occult artifacts. 
  • The Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool goes some-
  where... else... if you get in without breaking the 
  surface somehow. 
  • The White House is holy crap haunted. Obviously. 
  • Constitution Hall also hides a hidden stash of gold and 
  occult artifacts. The Constitution is, of course, highly 
  magickal. 
  • The Smithsonian is run by a cult. A blood cult. 
  • The Washington Monument is the final piece of a live, 
  cosmic-level ritual that just needs two small actions to 
  complete. 
  • Ford’s Theatre, also holy crap haunted. 
  • The White House Rose Garden is a magickal dead spot. 
  Totally null. 
  And that’s just a small sample. 
  
  7
  FIRST SESSION BREAKDOWN 
  Possible Milestones: 
  • Identify Senator MacMillan’s school buddies.
  • Find out what kind of guy McMillan was.
  • Trail MacMillan’s buddies.
  • See something inexplicable and photograph it.
  SETUP
  You’re not making characters, and you’re not picking your 
  objective, so let’s break down the first session fast and dirty. 
  Are you ready? 
  First, have each player pick a character. There are no 
  secrets out-of-character, and plenty in-character. Ask each 
  player describe their character physically and detail other 
  important characteristics, including their pre-generated 
  relationships. If the characters have any relationships 
  mentioned, say those too.
  Next, read or summarize “The Cabal.” Finally, have the 
  players select two more relationships by asking ques-
  tions corresponding to their characters’ personalities.  
  Example questions:
  DANA 
  You’re in a jam with the Baltimore Bombers. They’re crazy 
  good, and you train together a lot, so you know just how 
  capable they are. As pivot, your job is to call the plays and 
  lead the team, but you can also score later in the game. 
  • It’s early in the jam, and you spot someone trailing 
  behind the pack. They’re having trouble and you must 
  check on them. Who are they? 
  • It’s later in the game. You’re able to score points for 
  your team now, so you’re pushing to the front of the 
  pack. An enemy blocker is on their way to lay you out, 
  but one of your girls is at your side to lay them out 
  first. Who is it? 
  NANCY 
  You don’t play, of course, but you take photos at games. 
  • You’ve caught a girl in midair, elbow slamming into an 
  opposing player’s jaw. Who is looking badass? 
  • After a jam, you get a great shot of a team member 
  with a bloody nose and scrapped knee. Who is it? 
  FOXY
  You’re OK in a jam, mostly because your teammates are 
  so protective.
  • You don’t get elbowed in the face while skating along 
  with the pack. Who took the hit for you? 
  • A blocker decides they’re going to start a fight with 
  you between jams to mess up your pretty face. Who 
  deescalates the situation?
  AREA
  This is therapy for you, really.
  • Some newbie has violated a minor bit of etiquette and 
  you ram her into the ground when she accidentally 
  hurts a teammate. Who got hurt?
  • Between jams, you talk patriarchy and emotional labor 
  with some other women. Who casually makes a good 
  point you think about the rest of the game? 
  ROSE-WELL
  You’re here for the comradery and you really care about your 
  teammates. 
  • Whose knee did you patch up after the jam?
  • Someone in the crowd might have been trying to jinx 
  someone on your team with crude witchcraft. Who 
  did you have to un-jinx later without them noticing? 
  THE SITUATION
  It’s almost the third anniversary of the death of Traci “Deep 
  Throat” Ortiz, a good friend and the best jammer the 
  XXX-Files ever had. The details are still foggy and painful. 
  Dana and Area were there, Area knocked out cold, Dana 
  concussed and high, but Traci was murdered and it was 
  probably by a junior senator named Mark MacMillan who 
  “committed suicide” the next day.
  By all accounts MacMillan was a good man doing a hard 
  job. He was never linked to Traci’s murder. In fact, she 
  supposedly just disappeared. Dana and Area ran as soon as 
  the murder took place, and cops never came asking about 
  their dead friend. She was just gone. No leads, no testimony, 
  no body, but a whole lot of conspiracy fodder.
  Even though it has been nearly three years, Dana and 
  Area haven’t entirely given up on the idea of justice. With 
  some information, Foxy figures out that MacMillan had 
  some close buddies back in Tampa who were coming up 
  to DC, just as soon as one of them won a seat in Congress 
  and they were planning to celebrate. But no garden parties 
  for these guys. They were headed to Erin’s with extra hired 
  security and planned to wine and dine any Beltway types 
  willing to party with them. And Foxy knows exactly how to 
  get in.
  After prying the “Capitalism is Murder” T-shirt from 
  Area’s angry fists, the derby team heads undercover to 
  a debauched party for minor elites to try and prove or 
  disprove Dana’s claims.
  And of course, since the place is full of cops and private 
  military contractors, throwing a punch is not going to go 
  well. Not well at all.
  IDENTIFY SENATOR MACMILLAN’S 
  SCHOOL BUDDIES
  It might seem obvious but discovering which of the 
  partying Beltway men are connected to each other and 
  “We all fall down at some point. It’s what 
  you do when you get up that matters!”
  — Helen Wheels, #67, Denver Roller Derby
  
  8
  MacMillan gives the characters lots of options to follow up 
  on and move them along toward their objective.
  FIND OUT WHAT KIND OF GUY 
  MACMILLAN WAS
  Plenty of people knew him, the bartender, the working 
  girls, and of course the party boys, his buddies in life. Here 
  are some MacMillan facts to spread around as the charac-
  ters move through the scene. Why do they all wear blue 
  ties? It’s weird.  They are totally weird, even for idle rich 
  Florida power players.
  • In Florida, so MacMillan claims, he was a very 
  devout Christian.
  • He was involved with the Senate Cultural Preservation 
  Committee, but no one knows what that was. 
  • He didn’t want to be president because he didn’t want 
  to have to get married first.
  • He wasn’t receptive to sexual advances from ladies. 
  • It’s unclear if he was interested in men, but if he was, 
  someone would here would gossip about it, surely. 
  • His tastes were expensive, way beyond a junior sena-
  tor’s pay grade. Even considering lobbyist money. 
  • He spent a lot of time with a married woman. She’d 
  even met him at Erin’s a few times, but it was probably 
  not sexual as far as body language suggests. No name 
  is given for her, they only refer to her as “the Woman.”
  • He was a strict vegan, and rarely ate in public. 
  • He always wore the same blue tie. 
  • He got weird about six months before he died.
  TRAIL MACMILLAN’S BUDDIES
  Near the end of the session, some or all the characters 
  should be ready to follow one of the fellas back to his 
  hotel to dig a little deeper into who he is, because he’s 
  certainly weird.
  SEE SOMETHING UNEXPLAINABLE 
  AND PHOTOGRAPH IT
  When and if they can get a good photograph of one of 
  MacMillan’s weirdo buddies being super weird, the girls 
  should hit a milestone. There are a few other unexplainable 
  things that can happen over the course of the night that 
  Nancy might catch on film but the key moment happens 
  when they get photographic evidence of what they do after 
  the party. For more on the bizarre things the guys do at the 
  end of the night, see the individual profiles under “The Blue 
  Ties.” 
  OTHER PARTYGOERS
  A few other people the derby girls might interact with over 
  the course of their party crashing.
  CRYSTAL
  Minor League Insider 45%
  Crystal is a working girl: young, kinda dim, but charming 
  in her own way. She’s in sex work because she enjoys it and 
  it’s easy for her. She’s not especially clever or playing any 
  huge political game, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t 
  know some good dirt. She just doesn’t know she knows it.
  MR. BLACKWELL
  Alcoholic Career-Buster 55%
  Blackwell is a retired party whip and lawyer. He’s the sort 
  of person who makes sure that investigative journalists get 
  sued out of a job long before they can destroy careers. Well, 
  he used to be. Now he just shows up at events like this and 
  drinks. He’s got a lot of advice and a lot of guilt.
  TRENT ARCHER
  Trust-Fund Triggerman 40%
  Trent should have been in politics or modeling, but he 
  wanted to be a warrior. Only his daddy’s money couldn’t 
  buy him combat prowess or bravery. But it could buy him 
  a cushy position with a private security provider. Now he 
  spends his time pretending he’s an elite warrior and spy. 
  
  9
  OBSTACLES AND DISTRACTIONS
  These are obstacles you can toss out to make the characters’ paths to their objective more interesting. Each is geared to a 
  character’s stimulus.
  DANA
  Demonstrate clearly for Dana that some of these guys are 
  totally not human, but stage it so that whoever else she’s 
  with misses the clue she spots. Maybe she catches Henry’s 
  face slip a little bit, but Nancy doesn’t turn around in time. 
  Put her in a situation where the intel she needs would be 
  easiest to get if she can convince the GMC that MacMillan 
  wasn’t human, and if that doesn’t work, she’s got to deal 
  with the reality that they might never be able to prove this 
  to anyone. 
  AREA
  Most of this whole scene is going to piss Area the hell off, 
  hitting a lot of her anger and fear buttons all at once. Set 
  her up with an obstacle that tempts her to violently act out 
  but also reminds her that violence could get everyone killed. 
  Maybe one of the security guys is derelict in his duty, and 
  being a little demanding with the bartender. Sure, it’d be 
  easy to hit him with a bottle, but no good would come of it. 
  Describe the easily accessible tools of violence right at hand. 
  NANCY
  While she’s here to catch the Beltway elite being monstrous, 
  it might be fun to distract Nancy with promises of a great 
  shot just outside the bar. Tell her how just outside, she spots 
  something incredible. A cat walking a dog on a leash? Later, 
  there’s a 98-year-old woman carrying her infant great-great-
  granddaughter for a walk. After that? A known liberal pundit 
  and a conservative lobbyist locked in a lovers’ embrace 
  across the street. Is it weird that these things keep popping 
  up right here, right now? You bet it is. 
  FOXY
  Rusty isn’t the only one here dealing and promising freebies. 
  Offer Foxy what she wants: sex, drugs, and blackmail mate-
  rial. She got the team this far, surely they don’t need any 
  more help from her tonight. 
  ROSE
  Some of the bar napkins have scribbles on them, scribbles 
  that suggest part of an occult seal Rose has seen in the 
  past. Now she’s got to collect them all to see what they’re 
  supposed to do, and who’s making them in the first place. 
  Why? Well, that follows the other questions, right?
  
  10
  THE CAMPAIGN
  The team has accomplished its first objective, probably, leading to some pretty convincing evidence that something weird is 
  going on in DC. At least with the Blue Ties. (If they failed, they can still believe the weirdness they saw, but don’t have any 
  pictures, or at least not convincing photographic evidence.) What they do next can go a few different ways, and what follows 
  are suggestions you can play around with.
  EARLY SESSIONS
  THE DAY AFTER
  Possible Milestones: 
  • Get Henry to short out a bit by talking him in circles. 
  • Catch Alex breaking the law in a more explicit act of 
  violence. 
  • Offer Rusty a drug he’s not tried before. 
  The team is on the same page or at least reading from the 
  same book now. Whatever is going on with the Blue Ties, 
  it’s clear they aren’t human, not completely. The girls could 
  go public, sure, but they don’t have enough solid info yet. 
  They needed to build something undeniable.
  DC isn’t standing still, waiting for the player characters to 
  act. There are moving parts you should consider between 
  sessions and while playing. Here’s what could be happening 
  off-screen.
  BLOWBACK
  Of course, you can’t hang out in a clandestine politicians’ 
  hook-up spot asking questions about new pawns on the 
  board without the bigger pieces hearing about it. Rumors 
  are floating in certain circles now, thanks to the party crash. 
  • The Woman that MacMillan spent a lot of time with 
  is now aware people are asking about him, three years 
  after his death. 
  • Henry and friends aren’t yet aware that anyone is 
  digging in.
  • The broader Blue Ties conspiracy is aware that the 
  Woman is on alert, but don’t yet know why or if they 
  should be concerned. 
  • The occult underground has started to hear rumors 
  of some kids poking fingers in holes full of spiders, 
  and they know it’s connected to Rose. They may 
  officially reach out to Rose, especially if she goes 
  looking herself.
  OBSTACLES AND DISTRACTIONS
  • Introduce Foxy to an insider: a normal, easily manip-
  ulated type who’s generally a good guy. She can play 
  him if she wants, or use him, or build him up. This 
  distraction should build along the course of the 
  campaign, with him providing information from time 
  to time.
  • Give Area a real chance to confront a problem with 
  violence. Let her get in over her head. Don’t be too 
  cruel about it, but let her know, let them all know in 
  no uncertain terms, that with an enemy as well-con-
  nected as these, violence only gets you destroyed, one 
  way or another.  
  OH, HENRY
  Possible Milestones: 
  • Find a safe source to receive the evidence collected. 
  • Find out that the Woman definitely exists and was 
  connected to MacMillan. 
  • Give Henry and friends the choice to flee or expose 
  them (and potentially abandon their objective).
  Things are moving, and new threats lurk, moving closer 
  to the characters as they explore the conspiracy after them.
  BLOWBACK
  The characters have, in some way or another, exposed 
  themselves to Henry and friends, and so they’re making 
  plans to lay low and telling their friends in higher places that 
  there’s a threat to them.
  • The Woman is hurriedly erasing her trail and making 
  herself harder to find.
  • The Blue Ties are waiting to see how Henry and 
  friends handle the situation. If they botch it, the rest 
  of the conspiracy won’t bail them out. But now they’re 
  becoming vaguely interested in what this group of 
  women is up to.
  • As before, if Rose goes looking for the occult under-
  ground, she gets an answer.
  OBSTACLES AND DISTRACTIONS
  Put someone close to the characters in danger. Another 
  teammate or perhaps another reporter Nancy knows. Make 
  it personal and make sure that the risk to them is bigger 
  than being tied up in a warehouse on top of dynamite. The 
  threat should be to the person’s whole life, not just an immi-
  nent death. The powerful don’t play softball, and Henry 
  and friends aren’t going to either. Whatever they’re doing 
  though, it could be turned to damn them further if the team 
  plays their cards right. If it’s going too well, give them a hard 
  choice: save their friend, free and clear, or get more dirt to 
  bury Henry with while possibly condemning their friend.
  OPPORTUNITY
  Hey, it’s a derby team! Maybe they should play the damn 
  sport, huh? Offer the players a chance to throw some dice at 
  the derby game for a fun change of pace. Rather than going jam 
  by jam, or time around the track, roll dice for overall success, or 
  moments to shine rather than the nuts and bolts of the game.
  Let the ladies roll to impress a fan, knock out a rival, catch 
  a perfect shot, intimidate an opponent, that sort of thing. 
  You can use derby any time you want to change up the pace. 
  A lot of women love derby because it’s a chance to compete 
  and express themselves physically in a way that it’s unsafe 
  to emotionally. Consider letting the characters treat it as 
  therapy if you like. 
  
     MID-GAME
  LUCK BE A LADY
  Possible Milestones: 
  • Find a name for MacMillan’s lady friend. 
  • Locate others who have witnessed weirdness around 
  certain “social clubs” in DC. 
  • Talk to the Woman’s husband... before the brain 
  damage finishes him off. 
  If the team is successful, they’ve driven Henry and friends 
  out of DC. They never make it back to Florida because the 
  Blue Ties don’t care for failure, but the characters won’t 
  know that right away. Even if Henry and friends aren’t 
  forced out of DC, the Blue Ties, unhappy with how much 
  noise the boys caused, remove them from play, so to speak. 
  Pawns are for sacrificing after all. 
  Surely it can’t just be that three guys from Florida are 
  crazy and weird? What exactly what were they? Lizard-men? 
  Monsters? Robots? It might never be known. It’s time to 
  follow the only lead left: MacMillan’s lady friend. 
  It’s unfortunate when pawns are lost, but when that 
  happens it’s time to reinforce protections and hide, not 
  react out of revenge. Henry and friends weren’t well-liked 
  in DC, which is why they were expendable. From here out 
  though, the team runs into harder targets. 
  BLOWBACK
  • The Woman has been busy covering her tracks, but 
  her clean-up isn’t perfect. She spends her time now 
  bracing for confrontation. She won’t leave DC because 
  some upstart human children want her to. She’ll hide, 
  but if they get too close, she’s ready to lash out. 
  • The Blue Ties are casually looking for new pawns 
  to put down on the board between themselves and 
  the team. If the team wrongs anyone this session 
  (or earlier) the Blue Ties may reach out. They’re not 
  actively protecting the Woman.
  OBSTACLES AND DISTRACTIONS
  Instead of finding clues at first, the team is going to find 
  a lot of dead people. Dead ends and dead bodies should be 
  a big frustration for the characters, and maybe even cause 
  some strife among them. If Foxy has been nurturing or at 
  least cleverly abusing her contact, he might be able to give 
  them some information about the Woman, but he’s going 
  to need some help with a project he’s working on soon in 
  return. That favor? Soup kitchen work. He’s that kinda guy. 
  Of the dead in the Woman’s wake, there is some evidence 
  of magickal mischief involved. Maybe it’s because she’s a 
  sort of serial killer femme fatale with a weird tell, or maybe 
  she’s an adept. Dana should be curious about it. This puts 
  Rose in a difficult situation: if she digs in that direction, she’ll 
  find out about the Woman fast, but how can she do that 
  without exposing the rest of the team to the harsh reality of 
  the occult underground?
  
  12
  CONNECT THE DOTS
  Possible Milestones: 
  • Solve a murder! 
  • Visit the Druthers’ estate.
  • Connect the photos in the lockbox to MacMillan’s 
  supposed suicide. 
  • Find a new trusted source to release the information 
  or else confront the Woman directly.
  Martin Druthers was married to Marylin Druthers (AKA 
  the Woman) for about two years before Traci’s murder and 
  everything else went down. Ironic that Martin, a big pharma 
  advocate, should be taken out by an untreatable, uniden-
  tifiable brain disorder. Is it magick or just coincidence? It’s 
  hard to say. Anyway, Martin’s got a lot to say about his wife 
  and all the evil in the Beltway. He knows that there are men, 
  men that his wife knew, and they are bad and powerful men. 
  He’s highly suggestible, sadly, and so if Dana even vaguely 
  suggests reptoids he agrees that the men must be lizards. 
  He’ll say that their skin is blue in their true form, not red. 
  Then again, his brain is disintegrating in his skull. That said, 
  he’s got a key to a lockbox in his home that he thinks has 
  things the team would find very interesting.
  The Woman is considerably less subtle than the Blue Ties 
  and so the peril is real at this point.
  BLOWBACK
  • The Woman just straight-up hires some thugs 
  (Murderous Rent-A-Thugs 50%, add spice to taste) to 
  murder the derby team or set the Bunker on fire. Give 
  the characters an opportunity to thwart this, particu-
  larly Area, as if to give her another confusing message 
  about violence and survival, complicating her current 
  struggles. You can dovetail this conflict for her with a 
  distraction mentioned below.
  • The Blue Ties, to up the ante, will encourage someone 
  who feels the characters have wronged them to take 
  revenge. They’ll give this party some occult weirdness 
  they didn’t have before, and in dealing with this 
  conflict, the characters should be able to deduce from 
  the weirdness that someone powerful is backing their 
  enemies now.
  OBSTACLES AND DISTRACTIONS
  A paper Area wrote about a year back has picked up 
  some attention in academia. A professor friend has reached 
  out, offering her a chance to speak about the paper at 
  Georgetown and Howard. It’s an opportunity of a lifetime, 
  but it may mean Area is leaving her friends vulnerable or 
  herself exposed to attack by the conspiracy they now know 
  is against them.
  Meanwhile, Dana has met a support group of people who 
  have had run-ins with weirdness in the DC area. The coun-
  selor running the group is accepting of their weird stories, 
  but always challenges them, gently, to think how those 
  oddities can be explained away. For Dana, it’s a wonderful 
  opportunity to draw out information and gather more data 
  about the conspiracy she’s sure exists. Or it may end up 
  helping her deal with her more extreme beliefs (if she lets it). 
  So long as she doesn’t allow herself to ask who would run a 
  support group like this and why they would want to.  
  LITTLE DEAD CORVETTE
  Possible Milestones: 
  • Meet Larry, the Blue Tie washout.
  • Make a friend in the press corps who has some 
  patterns that might be useful.
  • Gather clues from Dana’s support group. 
  Like MacMillan, the Woman will not settle for being 
  embarrassed and exposed publicly, so if the characters try 
  to confront her or release her information, they’ll find that 
  she’s committed suicide.
  Probably.
  Her car, a distinctive cherry red Corvette drives into a 
  wall — a clear suicide — about the time the team is making 
  their final move. Police say the body was burned and muti-
  lated by the impact, but they’re sure it’s her. No DNA tests 
  will be performed; the dental records should be fine. She’s 
  dead or gone though, and therefore out of the characters’ 
  reach.
  It’s time for the team to reach out to contacts and allies, 
  maybe even enemies, to know what they’re up against and 
  unmask the conspiracy.
  The Blue Ties have acted and are now retreating to 
  observe. However, old enemies of the team are already 
  empowered, and when they are free of Blue Tie intervention 
  they cause some mischief for the ladies. 
  BLOWBACK
  At this point, there should be plenty of blowback for 
  the characters from their own actions that the meta story 
  doesn’t even need to supply more.
  OBSTACLES AND DISTRACTIONS
  If you’re planning to take these characters through a 
  new chronicle after this, something attached to the larger 
  Unknown Armies mythology, this is a good place to plant 
  the seed of a wider conspiracy. A run-in with a Sleeper? A 
  taste of the Cult of the Naked Goddess? Make it something 
  weird and big to let them know the world is even weirder 
  and bigger than they imagined.
  OPPORTUNITY
  If it hasn’t happened already as a part of other digging, it’s 
  time to have a decent person from the occult underground 
  come to Rose to tell her a bit more about the way the world 
  works. They have some hints about the bigger picture, the 
  next level of understanding, and maybe some idea about 
  who the Blue Ties are. You should have decided by now what 
  the Blue Ties are, and you should have this helpful GMC 
  drop hints but never fully explain. Hand Rose a juicy ritual 
  she can use by the final session to get an edge. But at a cost, 
  of course, like any ritual. 
  See “What’s 
  Going On 
  Here?” on page 
  14 for ideas.
  
  13
  THE BIG FINISH?
  Possible Milestones: 
  • Make a friend in the FBI. 
  • Expose a mole spying on the characters at the Bunker. 
  • Get the documents into the hands of a national 
  publication. 
  If the previous session was a little light, that’s a build-up 
  to this session, which should be over the top. The charac-
  ters should scramble and run nonstop because their chance 
  to expose the Blue Ties is very real now, but also very 
  dangerous. Treat this like a kind of chase and don’t slow the 
  pace even once. Exhaust them, keep at them, throw another 
  threat, like a haunted house with a guy in a mask jumping 
  out at every turn. Only instead of rubber masks, the threats 
  are unmistakably real.
  The Blue Ties, much to their horror, are threatened by 
  these nobody freaks. Turns out, while entrenched and 
  powerful, they’re not as big as the characters thought, and 
  they’re desperate at this point.
  BLOWBACK
  The Blue Ties are throwing everything they’ve got at the 
  characters, and so the first few avenues the team rushes 
  toward should result in dead bodies. Reporters they trust. 
  Witnesses they’ve talked to in the past. Maybe even loved 
  ones. For every door that the Blue Ties close, you, as the 
  GM, must open another one, not so much in the interest of 
  fairness but to keep the team moving. They need directions 
  to run in, and if they hesitate, push them with carrots or 
  sticks as is appropriate.
  OBSTACLES AND DISTRACTIONS
  In the chaos of the events, it’s time to expose some more 
  secrets to keep the characters running.
  • If no one has seen Rose’s basement, it’s time. 
  Manipulate events so that Rose’s witchcraft can’t be 
  hidden from the others.
  • Dana’s support group is worried and her counselor 
  reaches out to that the other player characters 
  because Dana needs serious help. Whether she does or 
  not depends on the game play. If she doesn’t, though, 
  who is this woman really? What is she after? Only your 
  table can be sure.
  • If she accepted the teaching gig or not, Area is offered 
  a teaching assignment, a good one — a once-in-a-
  lifetime experience in Europe. (Of course, someone 
  could wonder about the timing; who is pulling the 
  strings here?)
  • Nancy is offered a position at the national paper they 
  reached out to. They want to pay her a lot of money 
  to follow a private security contractor to somewhere 
  hot for an exposé that could destroy a presidency. She 
  doesn’t have to accept it this second, but sometime in 
  the next six months. She can finish up her work with 
  the team, sure, but there’s some pressure to keep her 
  nose clean before she heads off on this secret mission.
  • Foxy’s insider, the young up-and-comer with a golden 
  heart and big dreams? He’s in love because of course 
  he is. He asks Foxy to marry him. He doesn’t want 
  to destroy what she’s doing or get in her way, he just 
  wants to protect her. He wants her as a partner, an 
  equal. It’s almost everything Foxy wanted, and the 
  guy is decent and could make the world a better place. 
  Sure, it won’t be wealth and power like she dreamed, 
  but maybe this is better? She could make a lot of room 
  for him to do his thing, doing the work he’s too moral 
  to do. But, does she love him? Is she willing to give up 
  her dreams? And again, why now?
  
  14
  Things are coming to a head, and just as the characters 
  are ready to expose the Blue Ties, they make their move. 
  Instead of exposing them, wouldn’t the team benefit from 
  their friendship? They’ve proven themselves to be smart, 
  cunning, and resourceful, and the Blue Ties want their 
  help, not their ire. They’re not the bad guys here — there 
  are greater threats to the people of DC that the characters 
  cannot begin to understand. They’ll lean on this existential 
  threat as something only they can help the characters fight. 
  If that doesn’t work, they’ll offer money and power. 
  The question is, what do they do? Do they accept the 
  alliance? Do they finish the job and destroy the conspiracy? 
  Do they accept their other offers and go their separate ways, 
  or do they look at the wider potential threats? This is all, of 
  course, fodder for a new adventure. You’re welcome.
  WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?
  Are the Blue Ties reptoids? Yes. No. Maybe? It’s up to you.
  There are a few possibilities as to what’s going on here, 
  depending on what suits the table. If this is a player’s first 
  taste of Unknown Armies, you may want to keep the Blue 
  Ties vague even when they’re defeated or allied with. In fact, 
  they’re probably a small occult conspiracy, chargers to be 
  sure, but minor players in the wider cosmic scope of things. 
  This adventure should be one step into larger danger and 
  give a glimpse of the Statosphere. 
  If the players know the setting better, or have expec-
  tations of Unknown Armies, you can always spice this up 
  and set the game as a “next level” event to start with. The 
  Woman could easily be an avatar of the Naked Goddess. 
  The Blue Ties are a group of adepts converting political 
  power into debauched chaos and vice versa. Or maybe 
  they’re a branch of Ordo Corpulentis? What if Foxy’s insider 
  is secretly working with Mak Attax? What happens if their 
  friend at the FBI is on the New Inquisition’s payroll? You can 
  tie any small conspiracy into a large one, which is half of the 
  fun of Unknown Armies.
  The important thing here for you, as the GM, is to carve 
  nothing in stone. Be flexible and receptive to the charac-
  ter’s guesses and suppositions. No matter how you guide 
  the story, make sure that the characters are always at least 
  somewhat right about what’s going on. When in doubt, 
  go back to a theory they dismissed as impossible. That’s 
  the one that turns out to be right, but not the way they 
  suspected. Reward your players for making clever connec-
  tions, but twist them, make them weirder than imagined. If 
  they’re weird to begin with, make them tragically mundane. 
  And above all, don’t let the reptoids get you. 
  
  15
  DANA SKULL-Y
  She’s a cute, tight dynamo: all muscle, curves, and bruises. 
  Currently, she has a badly busted lip from a run-in with the 
  Seattle Coughies. Her round brown eyes, when not bruised 
  shut, sparkle with intensity. Her skin is dark and smooth and 
  won’t wrinkle for decades to come.
  Derby Pivot 55%: Provides Initiative, Substitutes for Dodge, 
  Substitutes for Fitness.
  Project Red Scale 65%*: Protects the Unnatural, Substitutes 
  for Connect, Substitutes for Status (* obsession identity).
  PASSIONS
  Fear Stimulus: (Helplessness) Scared that she’s completely 
  right about the reptoids and that there’s nothing anyone can 
  do to stop them.
  Noble Stimulus: Freedom only comes through truth. 
  Rage Stimulus: Nobody. Calls. Her. Crazy.
  RELATIONSHIPS
  One is provided; choose two more.
      Favorite __%
      Guru __%
      Mentor __%
      Protégé __%
      Responsibility Nancy 55%
  Wound Threshold: 50.
  Possessions: Dana owns the Bunker and it’s her prized 
  possession and the center of her life’s focus. The actual 
  track area is “decorated” with her research, looking fitting to 
  the theme of the team, but Dana hopes all her notes, maps, 
  pictures, and enthusiastic writings have a residual effect on 
  anyone who comes to see the team play. 
  Important Locations: The Bunker. 
  Dana is the epitome of the true believer. She’s believed in 
  aliens since she was a kid in the ‘90s watching Alien Autopsy: 
  Fact or Fiction? on Fox. She just never thought it meant 
  anything until she started seeing Them. She was the first. 
  She doesn’t just want to be right, she wants to be known to 
  be right. She wants the world to see her, to see her as the 
  first to know the truth. 
  She started the roller derby team about the same time 
  she started getting into all this conspiracy stuff. At first, it 
  was a big joke, an amusing curiosity and a funny theme for 
  a DC-based derby team. Only Dana started seeing patterns, 
  truths, and eventually, saw a reptoid in a business suit eating 
  a friend’s face. She was concussed and high at the time, but 
  she’s still sure of what she saw.
  Dana can recite intricate and complicated fringe theories 
  about Washington politics that range from convincing to 
  utterly impossible. In the middle of all these theories, which 
  she collects and studies for fun, is her core philosophy. The 
  Powers That Be are cannibalistic red-scaled reptoids, and 
  her drive is to collect every conspiracy she can find, match 
  them up against what she “knows” and build her personal 
  mythology. 
  Shock Meter
  Hardened
  Failed
  Abilities
  Helplessness
  2
  1
  Fitness 55%
  Dodge 25%
  Isolation
  2
  1
  Status 55%
  Pursuit 25%
  Self
  2
  0
  Knowledge 55%
  Lie 25%
  Unnatural
  1
  0
  Notice 60%
  Secrecy 20%
  Violence
  3
  1
  Connect 50%
  Struggle 30%
  
  16
  AREA 69
  Area is small, all wiry muscles and bony elbows. She’s gristle 
  and spite, and for as short as she is, she fills the air around 
  her with palpable menace. She looks like she’s willing to hurt 
  someone. Her eyes and skin suggest a Polynesian ancestry, 
  but that was generations ago.
  Anarcho-Feminist 
  Anti-Capitalist 
  40%*: 
  Protects 
  Helplessness, Protects Self, Substitutes for Knowledge  
  (* obsession identity).
  Irritable 35%: Coerces Violence, Evaluates Helplessness, 
  Substitutes for Struggle.
  Roller Derby Blocker 35%: Coerces Helplessness, Protects 
  Violence, Substitutes for Fitness.
  PASSIONS
  Fear Stimulus: (Self) What if all this anger is not pure and 
  cleansing, but violent and destructive? What if there’s no 
  such thing as “punching up”? 
  Noble Stimulus: Anyone more screwed by the system than 
  her deserves her protection and respect. 
  Rage Stimulus: She’s nothing like them! She’s not the bad 
  guy here! 
  RELATIONSHIPS
  One is provided; choose two more.
      Favorite Foxy 50%
      Guru __%
      Mentor __%
      Protégé __%
      Responsibility __%
  Wound Threshold: 50.
  Possessions: A hard copy of everything written by Eleanor 
  Marx, either printed out from the internet and hand-bound, 
  or in old published books when she can find a copy back 
  in her apartment. Area has a five-year-old green Korean 
  compact car that she describes as the only useful thing her 
  father ever gave her. With this, she often acts as chauffeur 
  for the rest of the team. 
  Important Locations: The Bunker. 
  Area is Dana’s best friend, but Area believes in violence 
  as much as she believes in friendship or anything else. The 
  answer to pretty much all societal issues is for the right 
  person to beat the living shit out of the right privileged 
  person. But this is the real world, not a comic book… and 
  Area is going to have to wrestle with her personal anger 
  issues before she gets herself or someone she cares 
  about killed.
  Area is in an early stage of discovering politics where she 
  is totally obsessed with not just change but violent upheaval. 
  The other side isn’t just a bad system, it’s a kyriarchal klepto-
  cratic murder cult. She doesn’t believe the enemy is a group 
  of literal lizard cannibals from outer space, but she does 
  believe that everyone supporting the oppressive political 
  regime are rapists and murderers. She is totally free of moral 
  ambiguity when it comes to those she calls “them.”
  There’s another path in front of Area if she can accept it. 
  She’s a budding scholar and her university writings suggest, 
  if she doesn’t take too many more blows to the head, she 
  can write the sort of arguments that change hearts and 
  minds. But right now, that feels like the coward’s path. Area 
  wants bloody knuckles, not ink-stained fingers.
  Shock Meter
  Hardened
  Failed
  Abilities
  Helplessness
  3
  0
  Fitness 50%
  Dodge 30%
  Isolation
  3
  1
  Status 50%
  Pursuit 30%
  Self
  2
  1
  Knowledge 55%
  Lie 25%
  Unnatural
  1
  1
  Notice 60%
  Secrecy 20%
  Violence
  1
  0
  Connect 60%
  Struggle 20%
  
  17
  FOXY MUFFLER
  Foxy isn’t tall or short, but thick in all the right places. She’s 
  got a face and a smile that comes from very good breeding: 
  the sort that ends in RICO cases but no charges. Her ass 
  won’t quit, and every boy or girl she’s ever tumbled with 
  never quite gets the smell of her hair out of their minds. 
  Foxy’s as whitebread as a distant Kennedy, so she knows 
  she’s not likely to age well. 
  “First Lady” 30%: Evaluates Status, Protects Self Substitutes 
  for Status.
  Hot 50%*: Coerces Helplessness, Coerces Isolation, 
  Substitutes for Lie (* obsession identity).
  Party Girl 30%: Evaluates Isolation, Protects Helplessness, 
  Substitutes for Connect.
  PASSIONS
  Fear Stimulus: (Isolation) Someday, she’ll be old and used up 
  and all these worshipers will be gone.
  Noble Stimulus: There’s no point in taking from the poor — 
  the rich have all the good stuff.
  Rage Stimulus: Her rise is meteoric; don’t get in her 
  fucking way. 
  RELATIONSHIPS
  One is provided; choose two more.
      Favorite Rose 60%
      Guru __%
      Mentor __%
      Protégé __%
      Responsibility __%
  Wound Threshold: 50.
  Possessions: Foxy doesn’t have possessions; she has gifts. 
  She has things other people have given her. She has cash 
  and clothes she’s coerced out of married men. Foxy also 
  has a growing collection of tapes, photos, and other black-
  mail material she’s been building over the years. She only 
  blackmails people who do something wrong, so it’s not like 
  it’s bad.
  Important Locations: Erin’s Bar and Grill.
  Foxy is a party girl in it for the good time. Physical contact, 
  violence, occult conspiracies, and aliens? There are a lot of 
  drugs and sex to be had chasing down all that shit, and Foxy 
  wants more. More. More! Secretly, she’s always wished she 
  was a Beltway wife. Connected, powerful, untouchable 
  without having to work for a living. She wants what they 
  have, badly. 
  The parties, the lovers, the drugs: they were a means to 
  an end to a means. Foxy’s parents are “somebodies” in DC 
  politics, but she keeps that secret. She’s doing all this to 
  become the most interesting, sexy, and irresistible femme 
  fatale, not to destroy men, but to trap the richest and most 
  powerful man she can find. She wants to be more than just 
  a party girl, she wants to keep and be well kept. Once she’s 
  got the power and the money, she can have some real fun.
  Foxy’s parents showed her early on what happens to the 
  powerless, and that politics are a man’s game. That real power 
  is something men acquire, and women usurp. On some level, 
  especially listening to Area talk when they’re high together, 
  she realizes everything she was raised to believe is wrong, but 
  that doesn’t erase it. Could she expose her inner poisoning 
  and get it treated? Probably, but it’s not likely. 
  Shock Meter
  Hard
  Fail
  Abilities
  Helplessness
  1
  0
  Fitness 60%
  Dodge 20%
  Isolation
  1
  0
  Status 60%
  Pursuit 20%
  Self
  2
  1
  Knowledge 55%
  Lie 25%
  Unnatural
  3
  1
  Notice 50%
  Secrecy 30%
  Violence
  2
  0
  Connect 55%
  Struggle 25%
  
  18
  ROSE-WELL ENDOWED
  Rose is all tits, ass, and — to anyone who gets in her way 
  on the roller derby track — fists. She’s not beautiful by any 
  stretch, but she’s unapologetically charming and radiates 
  warmth such that people are drawn to her. She’s just big 
  enough to make an excellent jammer. Rose has olive skin 
  that tans easily in the summer, and has southern European 
  all over her DNA.
  Caring 35%: Substitutes for Connect, Substitutes for Status, 
  Therapeutic.
  Roller Derby Jammer 25%: Protects Violence, Provides 
  Initiative, Substitutes for Fitness.
  Witch 50%*: Casts Rituals, Medical, Substitutes for 
  Knowledge (* obsession identity).
  PASSIONS
  Fear Stimulus: (Unnatural) Magick leads to monsters, and 
  monsters will just destroy her sweeties. 
  Noble Stimulus: These girls are broken, fragile, and obsessive, 
  but she loves them just the same and she will help them. 
  Rage Stimulus: There are things in the dark, and when they 
  try to put their taint on her sweeties, she will drive them back. 
  RELATIONSHIPS
  One is provided; choose two more.
      Favorite __%
      Guru __%
      Mentor __%
      Protégé __%
      Responsibility XXX-Files 55%
  Wound Threshold: 50.
  Possessions: Rose has a small row house in a neighborhood 
  that’s never quite finished gentrifying. Some of the girls 
  have crashed with her occasionally. They haven’t been into 
  her basement, where she keeps her grandmother’s tools and 
  book of shadows, and if she can help it, they never will. 
  Important Locations: Her ritual space.
  Rose started out as Foxy’s fallback lay, but she’s got 
  a good head on her shoulders. Her real passion (and her 
  greatest fear) is the secret world of witchcraft she learned 
  about from her grandmother, a strega. The other girls don’t 
  know how much she knows. Yet. 
  Dabbling too carelessly with magickal rituals killed her 
  mother and father, leaving her to her grandmother’s care. 
  She loves witchcraft, but hates the occult. Magick is a world 
  of light and shadows, and as happy as she is in the light, she 
  fears the shadows will eat her newfound family. She knows 
  magick and witchcraft are real. And these sweeties are right 
  on the cusp of finding out about the occult underground. 
  Rose knows just exactly how dangerous magickal knowl-
  edge can be. She’s convinced that she knows what’s best 
  for the rest of her team, and she’ll do anything she can to 
  keep her sweeties from discovering too much about magick 
  before they’re ready.
  Shock Meter
  Hardened
  Failed
  Abilities
  Helplessness
  1
  0
  Fitness 60%
  Dodge 20%
  Isolation
  3
  1
  Status 50%
  Pursuit 30%
  Self
  2
  1
  Knowledge 55%
  Lie 25%
  Unnatural
  1
  0
  Notice 60%
  Secrecy 20%
  Violence
  1
  0
  Connect 60%
  Struggle 20%
  
  19
  NANCY COLLINS
  Compared to the flamboyant and wild derby team, Nancy 
  Collins is tragically uninteresting. She’s tall, gangly, unfashion-
  able, with wild curly hair and ambiguous heritage. Absolutely 
  nothing about her stands out as unusual. 
  Academic 45%: Protects Self, Protects Violence, Substitutes 
  for Knowledge.
  Photojournalist 65%*: Capture the moment and create art, 
  clues, or evidence (unique), Evaluates Self, Substitutes for 
  Status (* obsession identity).
  PASSIONS
  Fear Stimulus: (Violence) Blood and gore are why she 
  couldn’t become a war correspondent. It’s just too hard to 
  see that stuff. 
  Noble Stimulus: Everyone benefits when the news reaches 
  a wide audience, so long as it’s legit. 
  Rage Stimulus: Censorship, real censorship, is the death of 
  democracy.  
  RELATIONSHIPS
  One is provided; choose two more.
      Favorite __%
      Guru Dana 50%
      Mentor __%
      Protégé __%
      Responsibility __%
  Wound Threshold: 50.
  Possessions: A small apartment, a laptop with top-of-the-
  line digital software, a Canon EOS 1D Mark IV, and tens of 
  thousands of dollars in student loans. 
  Important Locations: The Bunker. 
  Nancy was just trying to do something interesting with 
  her blog. Maybe get a coffee table book out of the sport and 
  friendship between women in derby. This? This alien thing? 
  She’s not totally convinced. But these women and their 
  crazy story? It’s irresistible. It’s like Pulitzer Prize-winning 
  crazy. She wants the story. No, she needs the story. So, she’s 
  along for the ride.
  It’s simple. Nancy wants to be the best — the best of the 
  best. She doesn’t want a Pulitzer; she wants a shelf of them. 
  She wants them to invent new awards in journalism and 
  name them after her visionary talent. She wants to take the 
  shot that makes everyone forget the green-eyed Afghan girl, 
  the flag raisers, the smoking towers. She didn’t think it was 
  possible before, but if these girls are right...
  Shock Meter
  Hardened
  Failed
  Abilities
  Helplessness
  1
  0
  Fitness 60%
  Dodge 20%
  Isolation
  1
  0
  Status 60%
  Pursuit 20%
  Self
  2
  1
  Knowledge 55%
  Lie 25%
  Unnatural
  3
  1
  Notice 50%
  Secrecy 30%
  Violence
  2
  0
  Connect 55%
  Struggle 25%
  
  DANA SKULL-Y
  XXX-Files
  Get proof that the reptoids are a real thing.
                                                              She’s a cute, tight dynamo: all muscle, 
  curves, and bruises. Currently, she has a badly busted lip from a run-
  in with the Seattle Coughies. Her round brown eyes, when not bruised 
  shut, sparkle with intensity. Her skin is dark and smooth and won’t 
  wrinkle for decades to come.
  Nobody. Calls. Her. Crazy.
  Freedom only comes through truth.
  (Helplessness) That she’s right about the reptoids and there’s 
  nothing anyone can do to stop them.
  Nancy
  55
  DERBY PIVOT
  55
  PROJECT RED SCALE
  65
  50
  X
  X
  X
  X
  X
  Dodge
  Provides Initiative
  Substitutes for Fitness
  Connect
  Protects the Unnatural
  X
  X
  OBSESSION IDENTITY
  X
  Substitutes for Status
  
  AREA 69
  XXX-Files
  Get proof that the reptoids are a real thing.
                                                               Area is small, all wiry muscles and 
  bony elbows. She’s gristle and spite, and for as short as she is, she fills 
  the air around her with palpable menace. She looks like she’s willing 
  to hurt someone. Her eyes and skin suggest a Polynesian ancestry, but 
  that was generations ago.
  She’s nothing like them! She’s not the bad guy here!
  Anyone more screwed by the system than her deserves her 
  protection and respect.
  (Self) What if all this anger is not pure and cleansing, but 
  violent and destructive? What if there’s no such thing as 
  “punching up”?
  Foxy
  50
  ANARCHO-FEMINIST ANTI-CAPITALIST
  40
  50
  X
  X
  X
  X
  X
  Knowledge
  Protects Helplessness
  Protects Self
  X
  OBSESSION IDENTITY
  X
  IRRITABLE
  35
  Struggle
  Coerces Violence
  Evaluates Helplessness
  ROLLER DERBY BLOCKER
  35
  Fitness
  Coerces Helplessness
  Protects Violence
  X
  
  FOXY MUFFLER
  XXX-Files
                                                                      Not tall or short, but thick in all the right 
  places. A face and a smile that comes from very good breeding: the sort that 
  ends in RICO cases but no charges. Her ass won’t quit, and every boy or girl 
  she’s ever tumbled with never quite gets the smell of her hair out of their 
  minds.  Whitebread as a Kennedy, she knows she’s not likely to age well.
  Her rise is meteoric, don’t get in her fucking way.
  There’s no point in taking from the poor, the rich have all 
  the good stuff.
  (Isolation) Someday, she’ll be old and used up and all 
  these worshippers will be gone.
  Rose
  60
  “FIRST LADY”
  30
  HOT
  50
  50
  X
  X
  X
  X
  X
  Status
  Evaluates Status
  Protects Self
  Lie
  Coerces Helplessness
  Coerces Isolation
  X
  OBSESSION IDENTITY
  X
  Get proof that the reptoids are a real thing.
  PARTY GIRL
  30
  Connect
  Evaluates Isolation
  Protects Helplessness
  
  ROSE-WELL ENDOWED
  XXX-Files
                                                                        All tits, ass, and — to anyone who gets 
  in her way on the roller derby track — fists. Not beautiful by any stretch, but 
  unapologetically charming and radiates warmth such that people are drawn 
  to her. Just big enough to make an excellent jammer. Rose has olive skin that 
  tans easily in the summer, and has southern European all over her DNA.
  There are things in the dark, and when they try to put 
  their hands on her sweeties, she will drive them back.
  These girls are broken, fragile, and obsessive, but she 
  loves them just the same and she will help them.
  (Unnatural) Magick leads to monsters, and monsters will 
  just destroy her sweeties.
  XXX-Files
  55
  CARING
  35
  50
  X
  X
  X
  X
  X
  Connect
  Substitutes for Status
  Therapeutic
  X
  OBSESSION IDENTITY
  X
  Get proof that the reptoids are a real thing.
  ROLLER DERBY JAMMER
  Protects Violence
  Provides Initiative
  Fitness
  25
  WITCH
  Medical
  Casts Rituals
  Knowledge
  50
  
  NANCY COLLINS
  XXX-Files
                                                              Compared to the flamboyant and wild 
  derby team, Nancy Collins is tragically uninteresting. She’s tall, gangly, 
  unfashionable, with wild curly hair and ambiguous heritage. Absolute-
  ly nothing about her stands out as unusual.
  Censorship, real censorship, is the death of democracy.
  Everyone benefits when the news reaches a wide audience, so 
  long as it’s legit.
  (Violence) Blood and gore are why she couldn’t become a war 
  correspondent, it’s just too hard to see that stuff.
  Dana
  50
  ACADEMIC
  45
  50
  X
  X
  X
  X
  X
  Knowledge
  Protects Self
  Protects Violence
  X
  X
  Get proof that the reptoids are a real thing.
  PHOTOJOURNALIST
  65
  Status
  Capture the moment; create art, clues, or evidence (unique)
  Evaluates Self
  OBSESSION IDENTITY
  
  Unknown Armies created by Greg Stolze and John Tynes
  Writing and design: Filamena Young
  Editing: Colleen Riley
  Proofreading: Jess Banks, John Nephew, Colleen Riley, Jeff Tidball
  Unknown Armies graphic design: Thomas Deeny
  Layout and development: Cam Banks
  Art: Shutterstock
  AG6041 | Digital Edition 1.0
  www.atlas-games.com
  © 2018 Trident, Inc., d/b/a Atlas Games. All rights reserved.
  Unknown Armies is a trademark of Greg Stolze and John Tynes, used under license by Trident, Inc., d/b/a Atlas Games.
  This work is protected by international copyright law and may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the written consent of 
  the publisher.
  
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