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  Shit 'N' Go  
  MANUFACTURER'S BLURB  
   
  Spend five minutes wiping after taking a crap? Not me. I just "Shit 'N' Go"!  
   
  Shut 'N' Go replaces the bowels and sphincter with a cleaner, neater equivalent. Faeces entering the bowels have all liquids extracted 
  and are then formed into rounded pellets encased in a PVC shell.  
   
  When desired, the user simply ejects the pellets out of the sphincter. The pellets are dry and odour free, enabling them to be collected 
  and stored. This is obviously a great advantage to covert operatives who cannot leave any body waste behind.  
   
  If you care about your personal hygiene and cleanliness, Shit 'N' Go will set your mind at rest.  
   
  TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS  
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  HappySac  
  For when you want to be sure she has a good time  
   
  MANUFACTURER'S BLURB  
   
  We all want to be better in bed, but for most of us the surgical amputation of our penis and its replacement with a bionic equivalent is 
  simply going WAY too far. But now, from BodyHarmony Cyberwear comes a solution - HappySac.  
   
  HappySac enhances, rather than replaces your genital system. A small reservoir unit is implanted in the groin and connected to the 
  ejaculatory system. The reservoir can contain any standard leisure chemical and can be easily refilled via a concealed valve located 
  between the scrotum and the anus.  
   
  To put it simply, when you "come", a little extra something is added to your semen to ensure that if you... ahem... arrived a little early, 
  she'll still get a rush.  
   
  Manufacturers Warning:- Only legally available leisure chemicals should be used in HappySac. BodyHarmony shall not be 
  responsible for any misuse arising from this product. It is a legal offence not to inform sexual partners that you are using HappySac.  
   
  TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS  
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  ShaftMaster  
  A penis for every occasion  
   
  MANUFACTURER'S BLURB  
   
  Sure, there are other penile replacement systems. Any back street clinic can give you an eighteen inch bionic dick that will impress the 
  guys and, quite frankly, scare the gals. But what's impressive in the bedroom can instead be an impediment on the streets.  
   
  When you're running down the sidewalk with an angel-dust fuelled gang-banger in pursuit, do you really want eighteen inches of dong 
  slapping your knees and tripping you up?  
   
  This dilemma has forced street-professionals to decline penile enhancements and the benefits they offer. Until now.  
   
  The ShaftMaster Penile Replacement System is the flexible penile solution for today's street-professional. Whether cop or crim, 
  careful citizen or travelling merc, ShaftMaster will transform your life, safely, controllably.  
   
  The ShaftMaster system replaces your genitals with a discrete threaded socket to which a variety of prosthetic penises can be attached. 
  Patented NerveAttach technology ensures complete sensation and control of attached penises - it'll feel just like your own or your 
  money back!  
   
  ShaftMaster comes with a number of penis units:  
   
  SportUtility: A small two-inch model (no erectile functionality) for when you simply want something utilitarian you can piss through. 
  Perfect for sporting pastimes or any other activity where a larger penis would be an encumbrance.  
   
  DongMaster: An eighteen inch monster which will have her screaming.  
   
  MovieMaker: An eight-inch unit with a camera built into the tip. A radio link transmits the picture to an included screen unit giving 
  you and your partner a close-up view of the "action". Can link to a cyber-eye if installed.  
   
  Vibro: Ten inches of vibrating, pulsing, ribbed experience. She'll love it.  
   
  But wait there's more! If you order your ShaftMaster now, it comes complete with a free aluminium attache case with sculpted foam 
  storage for your ShaftMaster penile units.  
   
  Additional penile units will be available later this year.  
   
  (A note to you Gals out there... The makers of ShaftMaster have just announced MammaryMaster, a flexible breast replacement 
  system. See next issue for more details).  
   
  TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS  
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  OurTalk  
  MANUFACTURER'S BLURB  
   
  Share your innermost thoughts with that special someone. Share a private moment that none can overhear. In a crowded world create 
  your own oasis of privacy with OurTalk, from Babel Technologies.  
   
  OurTalk offers a revolution in skill chip technology - a private language. Each set of OurTalk language chips offers a unique, 
  computer created language that will never be replicated - and that's a guarantee.   Just plug in your OurTalk language chip and you can 
  instantly talk a new language - which can only be understood by someone using an OurTalk chip from the SAME batch as yours*.  
   
  OurTalk sets are available in batches from two upwards (for pricing for batches of greater than 100 units call for pricing information).  
   
  * Note:- This assumes the speech is being heard by an unmodified human being. Advanced computer cryptography techniques may be 
  able to decode a recording of OurTalk speech.  
   
  TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS  
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  ShowMeHome Finger  
  It's been a great night. You've drunk large quantities of alcoholic beverages. Partaken of several highly questionable items of leisure 
  chemistry. Participated in acts of a highly intimate biological nature with the partner or partners of your choice. But now you just 
  want to go home.  If you could just remember where the hell home was.  
   
  This handy piece of cyberware combines sub-dermal colour indicators mounted on your right index finger, a GPS system and a set of 
  circuitry for analysing the contents of your bloodstream. How it works is very simple.  
   
  When the circuitry detects that the alcohol and / or narcotics in your bloodstream have reached the level at which your mental facilities 
  are seriously impaired, the "finger" is automatically turned on.  
   
  When turned on, the finger is coloured a deep red when it is pointing in the direction of your home, a deep blue when it is pointed 
  straight away, and shades in-between for the intermediate directions. You'll never be drunk and lost again.  
   
  Both the level at which the finger turns on, and the coordinates of your "home" can be set by interfacing the finger (via a built-in 
  infrared interface) to any standard home com unit.  
   
  Warning:- When visiting other cities please remember to reset the finger to point at your hotel room before going out for a drink.  
   
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  Forehead Wallboard  
  Cyberware is expensive. Really expensive. And the cyberware that you really, really need is really, really expensive. But now there is 
  a way for you to reduce that cost. Whatever item of cyberware you are having implanted can now be combined with a Forehead 
  Wallboard - offering you a discount on your purchase.  
   
  The Forehead Wallboard is a flexible LCD screen, measuring about 10 cm by 6 cm, implanted into your forehead, which - for a set 
  period of time - displays a continuous series of adverts.  
   
  For example, you might be purchasing a cyber eye at a cost of 10,000 Euros. However, if you agree to have a two-year Forehead 
  Wallboard implanted at the same time, it will only cost you 8000 Euros. For two years your forehead will display a rolling series of 
  adverts. Then it will turn off. (Once it turns off, it goes transparent and looks just like skin).  
   
  The adverts are usually preloaded into the module at the time of implantation. However, where you are purchasing a piece of 
  cyberware with a contract for monthly maintenance checks, the clinic may write into your contract a clause enabling them to update 
  the adverts during the checks.  
   
  There are a few problems that you might encounter with this item (beyond the obvious problem of looking like a dork for two years).  
   
  Firstly, some adverts can be downright embarrassing. You might be engaging someone in conversation when they will suddenly burst 
  out laughing (remember that everyone except you can see the advert) because your forehead has abruptly switched to an advert for 
  tampons. It can be especially awkward when the advert is for a product that is now tainted by scandal or failure  
   
  A second problem lies in wait for those who go abroad to get their cyberware. Persons getting this implant in Scandinavian countries 
  might find that some of the adverts it displays contravene local obscenity laws.  
   
  "Perhaps trying to get past immigration at JFK with a movie of a women field-testing a 12-inch vibrator playing on my forehead 
  wasn't the brightest move..." 
   
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  DeadHand  
  We all like to get lucky of an evening, but sometimes the girl isn't there, while the desires are. You could "relieve" yourself, but it just 
  isn't the same when it's with your hand, instead of someone else's. You could try the old prison trick of lying on your arm for half an 
  hour, until it's so numb that you can't feel it... but you just want to get the deed done and go to sleep. Now you can, with DeadHand.  
   
  A simple neural switch, controlled by a subdermal stud on your inner wrist, totally shuts off all sensition from your hand, whilst still 
  leaving it fully functional. Wrestle with the purple headed monster and you'll swear there's someone else in bed with you doing it.  
   
  DeadHand is the future of self-abuse.  
   
  The DeadHand is a simple piece of hardware that can be turned on and off in seconds. As well as it's primary "leisure" purpose it does 
  have a few additional advantages. It can be used when trying to impress people with your pain resistance with the old "hold your hand 
  over the lighter" trick for example.  
   
  (Although of course, your hand is still getting burnt to buggery, and when you turn the DeadHand off it hurt like crap).  
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  The Ability Indication Chip (The "Idiot" Chip)  
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  The purpose of the Ability Indication Chip (the AIC) is to enable devices to automatically configure their interfaces to the ability of 
  their users. The chip, which has the wearer's IQ encoded into it, can be implanted anywhere on the body. AIC aware systems 
  automatically detect the chip (it passively reflects their transmissions at a range of up to two metres) and configure their user 
  interfaces accordingly.  
  For example, an ATM (a "cash machine") might use a simplified spoken word interface for users with IQs of below 100.  
  Note:- Use of this chip is purely voluntary and is intended merely to help customers obtain the most efficient use of AIC aware 
  systems. In no way is this device intended to stigmatise persons on the basis of intelligence.  
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  This chip can have a number of hilarious consequences, especially where AIC wearers interact with non-AIC wearers.  
  An AIC aware device will simply read the nearest chip within six metres. So if you - who doesn't have an idiot chip - goes to use a 
  cash machine, and a moron with an idiot chip queues up behind you, you're going to end up a bit confused. Because instead of the 
  normal array of menu options, you might get a cartoon rabbit asking "would you like some money?" in a very slow voice.  
  Alternatively, some pranksters have adopted the practise of implanting idiot chips into unsuspecting people (often drunks) who then 
  find themselves treated like a moron by every piece of equipment they attempt to use (phones, toasters, ATM, computers, TVs).  
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  Cost: 50 euro 
  HL: 0  
  This item can be found - if searched for with a techscanner (difficulty 20 to find and 30 minutes for each attempt). Whilst implanted, 
  the user suffers +5 to all target numbers due to the irritation. Netrunners who are fitted with it find they cannot netrun, as they are 
  subjected to the horror of an animated talking paperclip. Each time a connection is made with their cyberdeck they must make a 
  difficulty 20 cool check. modified by their level in the "resist torture / drugs". A failed roll costs the user 10 points of humanity.  
  Removal of the chip and a cheap course of therapy can regain the lost points at the rate of 2 humanity per day. The course must be 
  completed to regain all ten points.  
  
SOURCE: textdata/thevault/Cyberpunk/Unofficial/Datafortress 2020 Archives/Cyberpunk 2020 - Net - Cybernetics - Cyberwear For A Leisure Age by Critical Miss.pdf