TEXT: CLOWN ★ HELSING
  Clowns. we've all seen them... riding their unicycles,
  blowing up balloons at kid's parties, piling in garish hordes
  from tiny cars, waddling around in huge red shoes, passed out
  in a dumpster stinking of booze and regret. For what do these
  martyrs of mirth sacrifice themselves? The answer is of course,
  they do it for us. Not just to fill our need for laughter and
  merriment, but because what brings doom to man fears them!
  Clowns are man's only salvation against Vampires.
  You've seen Vampires too, you just didn't know it. Maybe
  they were killing the mood at a party, ruining a great
  punchline, layering red tape onto a business, or just plain old-
  fashioned sucking the blood from the living. Contrary to the
  myths they do much of this in broad daylight, their only fear of
  the sun being that it might expose them to mockery. They drain
  humor from the world because they fear someone might dare
  to laugh at them. You know the type. 
  Vampires are right to be afraid, as their immortality
  depends on their dignity. Clowns must destroy a Vampire in a
  hilarious way, or their dignity will revive them. This war has
  gone on for ages, and unfortunately the old “Gags” such as
  garlic, crosses, and stakes barely get a chuckle nowadays.
  Sure, folks thought being impaled on a stake with a brick in
  your mouth was the acme of comedy back then, but today's
  Clown plays for a tough crowd. Fortunately Vampires fall into
  the unwitting “Auguste” or “Straight man”  role so easily that it
  isn't impossible to set up a killer Gag.
  … but do it you must, or the world will be drained of
  everything that makes it worth living. Setting up a killer gag
  and ridding the world of life-sucking undead is your sacred
  duty as a member of Clown Helsing!
  What You Need to Play
  Get some friends together and have one be the RingMaster
  (RM), who settles disputes and plays the enemy Vampire as well
  as the Scenery and Bystanders. The rest of you will play as
  Vampire-slaying Clowns. You can use paper and pencils to keep
  notes and to write down your Clown's story and abilities.
  You'll also need to make some special dice for this game, but
  we promise you won't regret it. You can do this easily by
  marking up some blank six-sided dice, or you can cut out and
  glue the die faces below to some spare six-siders. You should
  also keep one or more unaltered six-siders handy.
  CHARACTER CREATION:
  To start, just think up a great Vampire-hunting clown! If
  you're messed up like me, you think of these all the time. Either
  way, pick a name, which should be something light and goofy,
  like Bonzolio or Sporkles. Clown Helsing doesn't allow “normal”
  names and you should be ashamed of yourself for even
  considering one. Next, ask yourself a few questions: Why do they
  hunt Vampires? What is their clown act? What are they good
  for? What is wrong with them? All of this will help with later
  creation steps, and is vital for actual role-play.
  Traits
  Every character in this game is made from Traits. These are
  free-form descriptions of what they can do. For example a Clown
  might have “Unicycle stunt artist (3d), Sly innuendo (2d),” and
  “basket weaving (1d)”. The number in parentheses is the dice it
  grants, higher being better of course. To avoid dull Traits, each
  must have at least as many words in it as dice. A new Clown gets
  three Traits, at 3 dice, 2 dice, and 1 die. Split these between
  mental, social, and physical Traits, just so they have something to
  do in most scenes. You can raise them or get more later.
  Flaws
  A Flaw is a drawback, quirk, or weakness. These grant a
  Clown more points to spend on Traits, but they can also be used
  against them. If a Flaw applies to an action, the rating of the
  Flaw penalizes the Trait used. To use these points to gain or raise
  a Trait by one, spend Flaw levels equal to the next level of the
  Trait. Example: raising a Trait from 2d to 3d would take 3 Flaw
  levels and gaining a new 1d Trait would cost 1 level. 
  Props
  Props may be gear needed for Gags, like a whoopee cushion
  (0d) or squirt flower (+1d), or they may be part of the setting,
  like a rapidly approaching freight train (+7d). Props give a die
  bonus or penalty to the Trait used. Some are required to do
  things. You can't use a squirt flower without actually having a
  squirt flower, for example (that would be miming, not clowning).
  For carried gear, Clowns get 4 props, at +2d, +1d, +1d, and 0d.
  Crummy props are free but cause a -1d penalty to the Trait they
  are used with. Other props may be found during play.
  PLAYING THE GAME:
  You can get away without rolling dice for much of the game,
  but you'll need them when outcomes are uncertain and
  interesting. To make a Roll for an action, the acting player
  (actor), chooses a Trait that fits what they are doing, and the
  target player or RM (foe) chooses a Trait to resist it. The number
  of dice rolled is equal to the highest Trait between the two. If
  both Trait dice are equal, all the dice are Blue, which gives
  nearly even odds. If the actor's Trait is higher, the excess dice are
  Green, which aids the action. If the foe's Trait is higher, the
  excess dice are Red, which reduces the chance of success.
  An action only fails if more No than Yes faces turn up on the
  roll. Even results or more Yes faces mean the action was a
  
  success. What a failure or success means is up to how the RM
  and the Clown players describe it. A failure might not be so bad
  if it sets up a future gag.
  If there are more Ands in the roll than Buts, it is a critical
  success or failure with extra punch. If there are more Buts, it is a
  minimal success or failure with a catch. If the Ands or Buts are
  equal or don't turn up at all, it is a normal Yes or No result. Every
  roll gives you the chance of Yes, Yes-And, Yes-But, No, No-
  And, or No-But results, and you get to work out what they mean
  for the situation. Ands are vital for Clowns as they may be used
  to get laughs from bystanders.
  Initiative
  When Clowns and Vampires enter combat or just need to
  know who goes when, they roll Initiative. Initiative is just a roll
  of a normal six-sided die, adding the character's current highest
  Trait (1-6+Trait). Characters then take their turns from highest to
  lowest Initiative result each round, only rolling for the first
  round. In case of ties, Vampires always go first. Clowns may
  work it out between themselves.
  Damage
  Add a Red die to your pool for each point of Damage you
  want to inflict. If the action succeeds, the current highest Trait of
  the target is lowered by that amount. Any Trait lowered to zero
  kills the character. Every Trait will recover by one die between
  scenes unless dead. Vampires cheat, healing all damage on their
  turn unless it was aggravated by laughter. Only the final wound
  needs to be funny, earlier damage that round doesn't have to be.
  Bystanders
  These are the Clown's audience and the Vampire's bane.
  They usually have Traits at around 1d. The RM should roll some
  normal six-sided dice to see how many there are. It's best to have
  more because a Vampire might try to get rid of them, kill them,
  or turn them against the Clown, as below.
  A Vampire who gets a Yes-And result on a bystander will
  drain them of merriment and often blood. This turns them into a
  drone servant or “Renfield.” These humorless saps can make a
  good gag flop, fight a Clown, or help the Vampire get away. They
  return to normal when the Vampire is slain.
  Vampires
  Vampires are more powerful than lone Clowns, and will
  require teamwork to defeat. A young Vampire has four Traits, at
  4, 3, 2, and 1. An older Vampire may have four Traits at 5, 4, 3,
  and 2. Each power level up just increases all four Traits by one.
  Their Flaws and Props can include whatever the RM thinks is
  right. Vampires can raise Traits with Flaws as well, costing Flaw
  points equal to the next level to raise a Trait by one.
  Chuckle Chips
  Vampire-weakening laughter in this game comes only from
  mortal Bystanders. Laughter from Clowns, players, or even the
  RM doesn't count. However, a player who makes the group laugh
  should receive a Chuckle Chip, which is a poker chip or other
  token that can be traded for a full reroll. You might deal no
  chuckle chips if everyone plays with utter stone-faced solemnity,
  but if that happens you are better off with a different game.
  SAMPLE CHARACTERS:
  Perspiro (Clown)
  Not crying on the inside, just neurotic. Perspiro got into
  clowning to overcome his phobia of children, but it didn't work.
  He leapt at the chance to join Clown Helsing because he found
  the undead less terrifying. His pratfalls are the stuff of legends.
  Traits: Practitioner of Perilous Pratfalls (3d), Dangerous
  Juggling (2d), Confronts his Fears (2d).
  Flaws: Flopsweat (-1d), Scared of Children (-1d).
  Props: A Loverly Bunch of Coconuts (+2d), Padded
  Clownsuit (+1d), Unicycle (+1d), Matches (0d), Off-brand
  Balloons (-1d).
  Whoopsy (Clown)
  Whoopsy is not so fond of stunts, as she damaged her
  innards in a tiny car accident. She wears noisy poot-shoes to
  cover for the resulting chronic flatulence. Inducted into Clown
  Helsing for her genuine clowning spirit and tactical genius.
  Traits: Just as I Planned (3d), Hammer Time (2d), Genuine
  Sincerity (2d), Wine Tasting (1d).
  Flaws: Chronic Flatulence (-2d), Megalomania (-1d)
  Props: Pow Hammer (+2d), Poot Shoes (+1d), Squirt
  Flower (+1d), Colorful Handkerchiefs (0d).
  Vercingetorix (Old Vampire)
  Lord Vercingetorix is an ancient and miserable forever-
  young heartthrob. He feeds from the shallow adulation of those
  who mistake moping for real depth of character. A challenging
  foe because his groupies are usually horrible goth teenagers.
  Traits: I've Forgotten More than You'll Ever Know (5d), My
  Burden is the Pain of the World (4d), Plays the Bass (3d),
  Tragically Hip (2d), To me, Groupies! (2d).
  Flaws: Sparkles in sunlight (-1d), Forgetful (-1d), Always
  Looking Down (-1d).
  Props: Smashable but Classic Guitar (+3d), Vincent Black
  Lightning Motorcycle (+5d), Dark Cloak (+1d).
  Markov (Young Vampire)
  Markov likes to pretend he is wacky and “insane,” to feed
  off of the irritation it causes others. He acts like a grating,
  insincere “dark” mockery of Clowns, reflecting badly on them. A
  difficult foe as the Clowns must reveal his fraud before his anti-
  humor embitters Bystanders to true japery.
  Traits: Looky Me So Wacky (4d), Erroneous but Convincing
  Psychoanalysis (3d), Tiresome Internet Memes (2d), Fake
  Surrender (2d).
  Flaws: Close Talker (-1d), Cartoon View of Reality (-2d)
  Props: Random Axe of Scentless Violets (+4d), Can of
  Creamed Corn (+1d), Obnoxious Scented Body Spray (-1d).
  Experience
  Optionally, Clowns may grow with experience if they
  somehow survive a session. The RM asks the players for three
  reasons they deserve Experience Points (XP), and they get an
  experience point for each one they come up with. Each XP can
  be spent just like a Flaw point in creation, raising or gaining a
  Trait by spending XP equal to the next level.
  Enjoy, Be Creative, and Have Fun! - Jake Mullins
  
SOURCE: textdata/thevault/Top Secret Games Two Page Tabletops/Clown Helsing.pdf