TEXT: Johnny skulked out of the cafeteria serving line, hoping that no other stu-
  dents in the course noticed him. He was running late for his comput-
  er mythology class and didn’t need any distractions. Setting his tray
  down carefully at an empty table, he snatched the fork before the stuff
  on the plate could react and started prodding at the shuddering mass,
  searching for signs of life.
  The screams in the cafeteria were punctuated by shots as a
  firefight broke out in the far corner. Johnny risked a glance up
  from his plate. Four WUSE majors sporting designer shades and
  semiautomatic shotguns had some mages under the hammer
  and trapped behind some tables. They were all in his class.
  Through the smoke and noise he saw one mage returning fire
  with a submachine gun from behind an upturned table as his
  three College of Metaphysics buddies mumbled something.
  Time to duck.
  The mages yelled a mix of unintelligible syllables and the
  cafeteria washed out in white light. When his vision
  returned Johnny found himself against a crumbling wall,
  eardrums ringing but still able to walk. At ground zero
  there was nothing of the WUSE majors but a pair of
  twisted Ray-Bans, and his lunch was now indis-
  putably dead. The metaphysics majors were
  unscratched and patting themselves on the back as
  they extracted themselves from the wreckage of
  chairs and formica table tops. Johnny scrabbled in
  the debris for his gyroc and picked it up in now
  steady hands, checking his load and blowing the
  dust off. The test allowed him to return fire when
  area effect weapons were used. With a grin he
  flicked the safety off with his index finger and took
  aim at the nearest mage . . .
  It’
  It’s Not 
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  By Darius Garsys
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  ®
  
  DIE103 – Assassination and You. Lab. 3 credits.
  Practice and theory of locating and eliminating poten-
  tial personnel problems. 
  DIE104 – Hit Squads. Lab. 3 credits. Practice and
  theory of eliminating personnel problems. Emphasis
  on small-unit tactics.
  At Illuminati University, Killer is a favorite pas-
  time, allowing students to play at the arts of murder,
  mayhem and booby-trapping with style. The chaotic
  make-up of interdepartmental blood feuds insures
  these skills translate well into daily faculty life.
  Recognizing the training and profit potential, IOU
  took it and developed a lab course for applied politics.
  Thus was born DIE103, which was expanded to cover
  hit squads and additional profits with DIE104.
  Though optimally political science courses, there
  was originally debate over who would teach the
  courses (and garner the profits). When the fallout set-
  tled, the College of Obscure and Unhealthy
  Professions had jurisdiction. COUP also succeeded in
  making these courses prerequisites in other depart-
  ments, including WUSE’s Department of Ultramarine
  Sciences, 
  the 
  SPCA’s 
  film 
  school, 
  and
  C.T.H.U.L.H.U.’s MS301 – Machiavellian Politics,
  Staying Alive in 1500s Italy. The varied student body
  results in a healthy rivalry for grades.
  Due to their high-entropy nature and the
  ArchDean’s rules, first semester freshthings are not
  eligible. Participation is enthusiastic, so the courses
  are only given once a year in the spring semester, giv-
  ing construction crews time to repair the campus.
  THE DEPARTMENT
  DIE103 and 104 are taught by COUP’s
  Department of Involuntary Expiration, a very small
  department specializing in “hands on” politics. Hotly
  contested by every dirty tricks department on cam-
  pus, they have yet to lose a bloodfeud. Fortunately,
  they have little ambition to take over anything, being
  occupied in finding amusing ways of eliminating the
  annoyingly competent. Professor “Mort” Deumsdey
  teaches either course and is a typical DIE professor.
  I T ’ S  N O T  J U S T  A  G A M E                         2
  
  “I’M TAKING WHAT?”
  The astute student may discover this course on
  his own, but the PCs’ first exposure will be when
  their course counselor informs them that they are
  required to take DIE103 or 104 (those trying to take
  DIE103 will find it already filled). The undergrads
  will then have to find current course catalogs and go
  to The Administration building to sign up.
  Eventually the students will find themselves in the
  proper auditorium in Doe Hall, where Doctor
  Deumsdey introduces himself as the instructor and
  passes out the following syllabus:
  THE SYLLABUS
  Read the following aloud to the play-
  ers or supply them with a copy:
  “This is DIE104 – Hit Squads. It is a
  three semester-hour course on the use of vio-
  lence in politics. Due to the physically tax-
  ing curriculum all students will have to
  sign the attached waiver.” GM note: upon
  closer examination the waiver denies all
  liability by the university in case the stu-
  dent is bombed, mangled, electrocuted, or
  otherwise traumatized while taking DIE104.
  “Student Health Insurance is mandatory.
  “Course length depends on the length of
  the lab phase. The first two weeks are spent
  in classroom lectures, covering basic booby
  traps, tactics, and public relations. The
  next week is spent at the tactical test
  range for weapons familiarization.
  There are no written tests or graded
  homework but reading may be
  assigned. Assigned material will be
  reserved at the library.
  “The only grade is for the lab or practical phase,
  which is also the final test. Grading is on a curve.
  “There are no texts to purchase for the course.
  Students must obtain their own weapons. A selection
  is available at the college bookstore.
  “Tardiness and absences will be handled as nec-
  essary by the teacher. Due to limited lecture time any
  absences may have a negative impact on student
  grades.
  “Good luck.”
  THE CLASS
  Looking about the auditorium, the party will
  notice 
  a 
  diverse 
  student 
  body: 
  Machine
  Intelligences, hulking Team members, COUP
  majors in trenchcoats, SPCA majors aspiring to be
  action stars, and so on. A successful Perception or
  Survival (IOU) roll allows a PC to notice unusual
  traits (like the WUSE majors being unusually
  brawny rather than brainy).
  The first two weeks are as advertised, with
  reading assigned by whim (make a reaction roll).
  Suggested titles are Martian Killing Techniques
  Made Easy
  and 1001 Means of Oxygen
  Deprivation. Some of the assigned texts were
  not put on reserve. The professor never
  asks questions on the material
  unless, of course, the stu-
  dent didn’t read it. The
  characters may count up
  to six total hours (based
  on attendance) toward any
  thief or spy skill, plus
  homework time if
  they ever find the
  texts.
  The 
  third
  week is spent at
  the test range on
  hot 
  metal
  bleachers watch-
  ing demonstrations of
  everything from blowguns
  to 20mm .002kt nuclear-
  delivery chainguns. This week
  counts as three hours toward any
  weapon skill, and lets enrollees
  determine if any gadget really is a
  weapon – and which end they’re looking at.
  On Friday morning of the third week the stu-
  dents split into teams (the PCs will all end up on
  the same one) and pick a team captain and name.
  After a wait the captain is given a heavy cream-col-
  ored envelope. Inside the envelope are two things.
  The first is a shiny credit-card sized piece of
  unforgeable, indestructible alloy which has the tar-
  get team’s name imprinted into it. The second is the
  official test rules.
  I T ’ S  N O T  J U S T  A  G A M E                         3
  
  THE RULES
  Read this aloud or supply the players with a
  copy.
  “This is the final exam and lab phase of the
  DIE104 course. The test commences at 0730
  Monday morning, local time. A cease-fire is in effect
  until then. 
  “1. The test uses live ammunition. Simulated
  deaths do not count.
  “2. All of the ArchDean’s rules are in effect (p.
  IOU8). Especially number four: ‘Thou shalt never
  lower the ArchDean’s stock values.’
  “3. For course purposes a student is ‘dead’ when
  he is killed by a direct attack or the collateral effects
  of a direct attack by another student in the course.
  Whether or not he was the original target does not
  matter.
  “4. Once killed, a resurrected student may not
  participate in or interfere with further testing. Any
  students killed by a ‘dead’ student may continue the
  test. Offenders will have a personal interview with
  the COUP dean.
  “5. A valid attack is any attack on a member of
  the currently assigned target team. Any students in
  the course caught by collateral damage are ‘fortunes
  of war.’ Return fire is always valid. See rule (4)
  above for how mistakes are handled.
  “6. When a team is killed, the team targeting
  them now takes responsibility for the killed team’s
  targets; e.g. A is after B and B is after C. If B is elim-
  inated, then A is now after C.
  “7. All kills must be made within ten miles of
  campus.” GM note: this includes the mall.
  “8. Students will pay for damages.
  “9. Anything not forbidden is allowed.”
  THE LAB
  Now the fun begins. Though there is no more
  official classroom time in the course, the students are
  still credited with two hours a week toward Survival
  (IOU) or thief skills due to checking for traps, mem-
  bers of The Team and other hazards. In any game
  session during the test, whether the party is actively
  participating in the game or is dealing with other
  events, an Enemy (Hit Team) comes after them on a
  roll of 14 or less. This disadvantage is part of the
  course and ends when the course does.
  THE COLLEGE
  BOOKSTORE SHOPPING
  GUIDE ...
  Any pyrotechnics the students can get their hands
  on are legal on campus. The Bookstore supplies
  weapons and ammunition to those without means of
  obtaining them elsewhere. Hidden in the back corner,
  the weapons department is staffed by a compact, mus-
  cular ex-marine covered with scars and tattoos. The
  clerk is familiar with everything in stock and will
  gladly demonstrate their operation. The bookstore car-
  ries weapons up to TL8: lasers, gyrocs, needlers, etc.,
  though not caseless ammunition slugthrowers. New
  weapons cost list price, but working weapons can
  always be sold back to the bookstore for half price at
  the end of the course. Ammunition is not returnable.
  Pre-owned weapons are available at 60% of list price.
  Due to possible mistreatment they may have a hidden
  flaw, reducing the critical failure number by one. (The
  GM should roll 3d6 when the weapon is purchased.
  On a 16+, the weapon has such a flaw.)
  The Bookstore also sells poisons (p. B132) and
  explosives at the GM’s discretion.  Even if the GM
  does not allow purchase of C-4 or other demolitions,
  he may find the explosion rules (p. B121) useful for
  the higher-entropy weapons.
  Lastly, the students may be able to find experi-
  mental weapons and hardware in WUSE and COM
  labs and basements. And no one knows exactly what
  is hidden in the steam tunnels.
  THE ORDEAL
  Monday morning rolls around as it must for all
  but C.T.H.U.L.H.U. students, and the test begins.
  Initial action is short and furious before settling into
  the long haul, with Halley’s Hellcats and The
  Terminators getting iced right away. Common places
  for ambushes are:
  The Cafeteria: For once there may be something
  more dangerous than the food. Any student, whether
  a PC or not, with the Lives on Campus disadvantage
  will be here at some point in time. The disadvan-
  tages? The ArchDean disapproves of firefights in the
  cafeteria, most of the targets, nominally edible are
  not, are moving, and students cannot take credit for
  poisoning each other here.
  I T ’ S  N O T  J U S T  A  G A M E                         4
  
  Building entrances: Waiting outside of an
  entrance in the bushes is effective, except some
  of those keep off the grass signs are for the safe-
  ty of the student, not the “lawn.”
  The Library: Shhhhhhhh!
  Dorms: Ideal for running firefights,
  ambushes at the elevator, and room-by
  room search and destroy missions. Old
  dungeon maps are useful here.
  Class: It’s considered tacky to
  blow a student’s brains out while it’s
  sleeping through a lecture on
  Martian psychology, but teachers can
  be convinced to overlook interrup-
  tions.
  Administration buildings:
  Within the limits of the
  ArchDean’s rules, anything
  goes. Most faculty will react
  unfavorably to a heavy weapon being
  pointed at them.
  Dances, Dates and other Events: Another place
  for easy marks. After all, how many thingfriends will
  understand that a college course is more important
  than they are?
  Spring Break: A golden opportunity to spend a
  worry-free week outside of the ten-mile free-fire zone.
  Riiiiigggghht.
  Parking Lots: For anyone who drives or has
  access to a car, main battle tank, or 50-foot tall battle
  robot, this is a great place to be ambushed. The GM
  can dig out his favorite combat rules.
  Steam Tunnels: If you dare. Another useful place
  for old dungeon maps.
  Other ambushes: Remember test rules three and
  five. Collateral damage is a great way to thin out
  future competition. The PC’s may observe other
  ambushes or get sucked into them.
  CASUALTIES AND TACTICS
  Roughly one team a week will be eliminated
  from the test outside of any actions the adventurers
  take, and most attempts at ambushing the characters
  will be by teams trying to take out individuals or
  small groups if possible. The problems that plague
  PC attempts at ambushes and “hits” should also
  allow the adventurers to escape the same. Any team
  killed without inflicting casualties fails. Otherwise
  the first four teams killed get a “D,” the next seven
  get a “C” and the next two get a “B.” The survivors
  get an “A.” The test is monitored by the DIE staff.
  Anyone breaking rules (4) or (5) on campus will find
  Dr. Deumsdey hovering nearby. There are no rules
  against attacking him but it is not advised.
  THE DISCOVERY
  Thursday after the test starts, the students will
  discover the true nature of the Machine Intelligences
  and their evil intents. While researching in the
  library, one character will have a heavy, dusty tome
  fall on him (causing 2d6 damage – it’s a big book).
  The book falls open to a page detailing a prophecy of
  invasion by strange shiny beings from beyond the
  suns. The picture looks like the Machine
  Intelligences. If confirmation is needed (that is, if the
  PCs aren’t paranoid enough to figure it out), then
  they will also intercept transmissions from the
  Machine Intelligence invasion fleet over their stolen
  cable channels in the dorm room while watching TV,
  or over a piece of experimental hardware.
  Attempts to convince other teams or faculty that
  the Machine Intelligences are up to no good will be
  laughed off. Even the normally paranoid COUP is
  too used to students dissembling to gain an advan-
  tage. If the Machine Intelligences become aware of
  the PCs’ knowledge, necessary steps will be taken.
  I T ’ S  N O T  J U S T  A  G A M E                         5
  
  THE BOMB
  While hiding in a WUSE lab or rummaging
  through a basement shortly before the big event, the
  party comes across files on a “doesn’t-matter bomb”
  that when detonated leaves nothing behind, not even
  debris. The project was shelved because it wasn’t
  spectacular enough to impress anyone.
  The bomb is a dual detonation device, the first
  blast releasing a cloud of doesn’t-matter particles
  which coats everything within 200 feet. One second
  later, a large (equivalent to a TL7 500-pound bomb)
  explosion occurs, the shockwave causing all of the
  doesn’t-matter nearby –  and anything it adheres to –
  to pop out of reality and go wherever missing socks
  do. All that remains is a shallow bowl-shaped depres-
  sion 400 feet across. The bomb is in a cabinet in the
  WUSE dean’s office (George the Janitor also knows
  where it is). It weighs 500 pounds, is four feet long,
  and two feet in diameter. A nameplate mentions the
  destructive radius of the bomb, and there is a small
  timer control panel under an access cover (found on a
  perception 
  roll 
  at 
  -3 
  or 
  any 
  successful
  demolitions/bomb related roll). No instructions are
  available. If the bomb is accidentally activated there
  will always be enough time for the party to escape the
  blast radius, unless they deliberately hang around.
  THE BIG EVENT
  When the PCs get around to tackling the WUSE
  team, a scoutship from the Machine Intelligence inva-
  sion fleet lands quietly in front of the fountain and
  claims the IOU grounds in the name of the great com-
  puter, HACK. The scoutship looks like a reflective
  golf ball fifty feet in diameter, complete with dimples.
  It has a tripod landing gear that extends straight out
  from the hull (which is PD 4, DR 1000). Their ulti-
  matum is for unconditional surrender and  an “A” in
  DIE 104, or immediate invasion. The university has
  four hours to respond. Since the WUSE, COUP and
  COM teams consider this an unfair way to win, they
  immediately set off to fix the situation, declaring a
  temporary cease-fire.
  THE FINAL COUNTDOWN
  The attempt at eliminating the Machine
  Intelligences will devolve into a mass firefight as the
  attacking teams violate their truce, and the students
  will realize portable weapons won’t touch the ship.
  This is an ideal place to use the doesn’t-matter bomb.
  If the students have already used it, then there is
  always the ace-in-the-hole (see below).
  Once planted and successfully detonated near the
  scoutship everything in the blast radius disappears
  (including the scoutship). The Machine Intelligences
  are convinced that invasion would be unprofitable and
  go away. For their role in stopping the invasion, the
  ArchDean may see fit to waive some of the recon-
  struction costs the students owe. If the PCs are caught
  in the blast, that’s another adventure. Let them land on
  a giant pile of socks on an otherwise featureless plain.
  ACE IN THE HOLE
  If the doesn’t-matter bomb is no longer avail-
  able, then the ArchDean will calmly walk out of the
  administration building and explain to the Machine
  Intelligences that under the terms of the student con-
  tract, invasion would be breach of contract and the
  penalties under interstellar law would be enough to
  bankrupt them. After a few minutes of debate with
  HACK, the scoutship quietly withdraws and discon-
  solately vanishes back into hyperspace.
  OTHER CAMPAIGNS
  This adventure is set at Illuminati University, an
  interdimensional, cross-temporal campus where
  magic and weird science are the norm.  It can be used
  for cross-campaigning purposes if the GM’s party
  wants something silly and unusual (be careful what
  you wish for). The best excuse is that a WUSE student
  working on his doctoral degree is doing a study and
  has pulled the adventurers out of their continuum into
  the present-day IOU campus. Another option is the
  party stumbles across their world’s or era’s equivalent
  of IOU (about one or two tech levels higher than the
  surrounding TL). Once there, the PCs become test
  subjects who are forcibly enrolled in DIE104 (com-
  plete with temporary Student Health Insurance, a.k.a.
  resurrection) and cannot leave the vicinity of campus
  since exploding collars have been placed on them. The
  stated purpose of the test is to measure the perfor-
  mance of people from alternate realities and time peri-
  ods against a control group of IOU students in combat.
  The real reason is shrouded in mystery or makes even
  less sense than what the characters are told. Once the
  characters end the course, the collars are removed and
  the adventurers may (or may not) be returned whence
  they came.
  I T ’ S  N O T  J U S T  A  G A M E                         6
  
  THE TEAMS
  There is no set number of students for the teams,
  so the GM can change them as necessary to fit the
  party. The statistics are templates for “typical” team
  members, with a few roleplaying-oriented advan-
  tages, disadvantages and skills thrown in.
  THE MACHINE
  INTELLIGENCES
  ST 15 DX 8 IQ 14 HT 10/20
  Armor: PD 4, DR 150
  These robots come in different shapes but all
  have legs, two arms, and are roughly human-sized.
  They are enrolled in the SCA’s Department of
  Empire-Building and are taking DIE104 as a prereq-
  uisite for EB204 – Guerrilla  Accounting. The busi-
  ness degree is only a cover; they are actually a scout
  force to evaluate Earth combat capabilities before the
  Machine Intelligence invasion fleet arrives. Any
  inquiries will discover that: 1) They come from cre-
  ator only knows where, and 2) they’ve paid enough
  in rare minerals to stay at the university for decades.
  Though having no sense of humor and lacking in
  empathy, these robots are definitely sentient. Being
  robots, they don’t need sleep or air. They have
  Eidetic Memory, Absolute Timing, and are Lightning
  Calculators. Lest the PCs get discouraged, they can-
  not heal, and are graduates of the Imperial
  Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy
  (from
  GURPS:Robots), so they can’t hit anything they aim
  at their first turn in combat.
  WUSE THERE? 
  Department of Military Sciences
  and Cost Overruns Majors
  ST 14 DX 10 IQ 8 HT 14
  Advantages: Toughness (DR 1), High Pain
  Threshold, Danger Sense.
  Disadvantages: Lives on Campus, Duty (to
  teachers, homework), Bloodlust.
  Quirks: Like flexing in front of mirrors.
  Skills:
  Guns 
  (Rifles)/TL8-13, 
  Guns
  (pistols)/TL8-12, Gunner/TL8-12, Administration-
  11, Area Knowledge (IOU)-13, Survival (IOU)-12.
  Department of Ultramarine
  Sciences (scientific wet work)
  Majors
  ST 12 DX 13 IQ 12 HT 11
  Advantages: Danger Sense, Combat Reflexes.
  Disadvantages: Duty (teachers, homework),
  Lives on Campus, Stubbornness, Paranoia.
  Skills:
  Beam 
  Weapons/TL8-15, 
  Guns
  (Rifles)/TL8-15, Guns (SMG’s)/TL7-15, Karate-14,
  First Aid/TL8-14, Survival (IOU)-15, Area
  Knowledge (IOU)-16, Leadership-14, Tactics-10.
  WUSE There? is a handful of Weird and
  Unnatural Sciences and Engineering juniors from
  MSCO and US posing as freshthings for easy credits
  and “harmless” fun. US is in direct competition with
  DIE, and wants to cause as much havoc as possible.
  The MSCO students have a fondness for large explo-
  sions and using machine guns as sidearms. These are
  the first guys you’d send in after missing POWs,
  unless you wanted the POWs back alive. Neither
  smart nor coordinated, they make up for it with mass
  firepower and large blast radii. Voted most likely
  team to be testing a strategic portable phaser. Not the
  typical WUSE weird-science nerds.
  TIME ON OUR SIDE
  Brenda Burke, D.O.C.T.O.R. major.
  ST 9 DX 11 IQ 13 HT 10
  Advantages: Gadgeteer, Eidetic Memory (50
  points), Unfazeable.
  Disadvantages: Absent-Mindedness, Duty (to
  professors).
  I T ’ S  N O T  J U S T  A  G A M E                         7
  
  Skills: Guns (pistols)/TL8-14, Games (Chess)-
  21, Games (backgammon)-18, Games (RPGs)-18,
  Games (INWO)-21, Survival (IOU)-22, Area knowl-
  edge (IOU)-20, Computer Operation/TL8-20,
  Electronics Operation (Temporal Devices)-18,
  Computer Programming/TL8-18, Mathematics-18,
  Electronics (Temporal Devices)-18, Fast Talk-18,
  Temporal Physics-13.
  All of the team members look alike despite hav-
  ing different names. Anyone without the Mundane
  Background disadvantage making a perception roll
  will realize they are all the same person, time-travel-
  ing. Brenda is a senior doing her thesis on “passing a
  course through repetition,” and one of the few
  D.O.C.T.O.R. students in C.T.H.U.L.H.U. having
  neither temporal advantages or disadvantages. Her
  preference is to hide out as much as possible, skip-
  ping the course altogether once she makes a kill. If
  WUSE There? isn’t after her due to the bloodfeud,
  then somebody else from WUSE is.
  STYLE OVER SUBSTANCE
  ST 15 DX 13 IQ 10 HT 12
  Advantages: Handsome or better Appearance.
  Disadvantages: Odious Personal Habit (very
  vain), Bad Temper, Compulsive Behavior (exercises
  constantly), Overconfidence.
  Quirks: Talk about future film careers, Pose in
  front of mirrors/cameras, Wear cool shades and
  leather jackets, Must be “cool,” Have gleaming teeth.
  Skills: Gun (SMG)/TL8-14, Survival (IOU)-9,
  Area Knowledge (IOU)-10, Acting-9.
  This SPCA team is composed of muscular aspir-
  ing action film stars trying to learn how a “real” fire-
  fight goes down. They have the potential to be lethal,
  but pause for any photo opportunities. The best way
  to slow them up is to tell them their hair is a mess.
  Some can actually speak fluent English, and all wear
  either denims and leather or futuristic tough-guy out-
  fits. They are drama students and are prone to the-
  atrics.
  THE TEAM
  ST 14 DX 14 IQ 7 HT 12 (all minimums except
  IQ)
  Advantages:
  Jock, 
  Cast 
  Iron 
  Stomach,
  Toughness (DR1), High Pain Threshold.
  Disadvantages: Lives On Campus, Duty (pro-
  fessors), Clueless, Gullibility.
  Quirks: Like Chasing Cars.
  Skills:
  Running-15, Guns (Rifle)/TL8-14,
  Writing-6
  All students here are typical Team members.
  Big, rough, tough, and easy to talk into pounding
  someone else into the dirt while you run away. The
  Team may be lacking in special abilities, but cafete-
  ria food never eats a Team member for lunch.
  COUP D’TAT
  ST 10 DX 13 IQ 14 HT 11
  Advantages: Charisma (+2).
  Disadvantages: Greed, Bully.
  Quirks: Skulk about.
  Skills: Guns (pistol)/TL8-15, Fast Talk-13,
  Disguise-11, Shadowing-11.
  I T ’ S  N O T  J U S T  A  G A M E                         8
  
  The COUP teams have been the running cham-
  pions for the last five years, so all of the really heavy
  betting is on second place. Composed of students
  from DIE, the Department of Dirty Tricks and the
  Department of Technical Difficulties, they are the
  sneakiest and most underhanded individuals on cam-
  pus. The group has more gadgets and spy gear than
  any other three teams combined, though WUSE
  tends to have more firepower. It is also suspected that
  COUP professors “help” team members. It would
  look bad for someone else to win.
  DAILY LLAMAS
  ST 10 DX 10 IQ 15 HT 10
  Advantages: Mathematical Ability, Eidetic
  Memory (50 point).
  Disadvantages:
  Absent Minded, Combat
  Paralysis, Bad Sight.
  Quirks: Constantly push glasses into place, Drift
  off onto tangent regardless of audience.
  Skills: Mathematics-23, Area Knowledge (IOU)-
  19, Survival (IOU)-20, Guns (Pistol)/TL8-10.
  No one is sure why these College of Zen
  Surrealism students are here, or even if they really
  are. It may be a subtle joke. Nevertheless, these
  harmless-looking philosophers are surprisingly hard
  to kill, mostly because they are hard to find. Rumors
  that shots have gone straight through CZS majors
  without affecting them are merely that.
  THE AVENGING ANGELS
  ST 12 DX 10 IQ 14 HT 11
  Advantages: Magical Aptitude (second level).
  Disadvantages: Impulsiveness, Overconfidence.
  Quirks: Collect obscure works on the occult.
  Skills: Guns (pistol)/TL8-11, Area Knowledge
  (IOU)-14, Survival (IOU)-13, Up to 16 points of any
  magical spells.
  From the College of Metaphysics, these first-
  year mages are not shy about materialistic hardware,
  but have a bias toward alchemy and magic. The team
  is of mixed colleges, with fire, water, healing and
  even tech college spells available. Explosions are not
  as large as WUSE’s, but more interesting.
  THE BUSINESS MAJORS
  ST 11 DX 11 IQ 10 HT 10
  Advantages: Wealth (Filthy Rich), Voice, Status
  (5).
  Disadvantages: Odious Personal Habit (Flaunts
  wealth), Overconfidence.
  Quirks: Always eat at four-star restaurants, Get
  lunch for their class every day.
  Skills: Administration-10, Diplomacy-9, Fast-
  Talk-10, Savoir-Faire-11, Guns (lasers)/TL8-13.
  Unlike The Team, the name reflects a lack
  of humor rather than originality. They are here
  to learn the basic steps of climbing corporate
  ladders and hostile takeovers. Some are
  visionaries while others are toadies
  and sycophants. Voted most likely
  team to wear Armani body armor.
  Other teams.
  Five other
  teams exist with a mix of stu-
  dents, usually friends banding
  together for safety. The PC’s are one
  such group. The others are The
  Terminators, The Boomers, Halley’s
  Hellcats and The Scum Brigade. Use a
  mix of the above templates.
  I T ’ S  N O T  J U S T  A  G A M E                         9
  
  PROFESSOR “MORT”
  DEUMSDEY,PHD.
  A short oriental, Dr. Deumsdey is a senior pro-
  fessor in DIE and knows every way there is to take
  care of those little difficulties that won’t go away. His
  position was earned, and if you need to ask what the
  credentials are then you obviously aren’t qualified.
  Like most DIE instructors, he has The Treatment and
  is familiar with every weapon he has the skills for.
  He suffers no penalty to use any
  of them. He always leaves a dead
  “smiley face” pin on each victim,
  otherwise his sense of humor is
  reserved for bad puns and ironic
  one-liners while making ham-
  burger of bodyguards. He usually
  speaks in “dubbed movie,” such
  as “Want fight? . . . Fight me!”
  and gives the impression that
  his mouth and words are not in
  sync. He has worked for various
  eco-terrorist groups, and he con-
  stantly annoys people by remi-
  niscing about past work. Not
  only does his house have a shrine
  to Bruce Lee, but he has seen
  Enter the Dragon 589 times and is
  capable of quoting the entire movie,
  backwards. An outstanding and over-
  ly dedicated weapons instructor, he is
  someone to stay well clear of.
  Typical Dialogue: “Reminds me. ..
  time . . . took out . . .mob boss . . . Loaded
  claymore . . . with . . . party streamers . . .”
  ST 10, DX 16, IQ 12, HT 12
  Advantages: Academic Status +3 (tenured
  professor), Ally group (students,
  unwilling, medium, fairly often),
  Combat Reflexes, Danger Sense,
  Luck, Social Status +1, Tenure, The
  Treatment level I, Unfazeable.
  Disadvantages: Bloodlust, Compul-
  sive Behavior (constantly sharpens edged weapons),
  Delusion (ancient ninja spirit guides him as he
  works), Duty (IOU, quite often), Enemies (under-
  lings, medium group, fairly often), Lecherousness,
  Odious Personal Habit (Constantly reminisces about
  prior wet work), Trademark (leaves “dead smiley
  face” badge with “Have a Nice Day” pinned to vic-
  tims).
  Quirks: Hates Insects, Worships Bruce Lee,
  Speaks in “Dubbed Karate Movie,” Wears “Ninja”
  outfits constantly.
  Skills: Administration-19, Area Knowledge
  (IOU)-20, Beam Weapons/TL8-20, Blowpipe-15,
  Camouflage-20, Crossbow-17, Ecology-12, Fast
  Draw (Magazine, clip, power cell)-20, Fast Draw
  (Pistol)-20, Fast Draw (Rifle)-17, Guns/TL7-18,
  Guns/TL8-20, Holdout-
  16, Karate-20, Knife-
  20, 
  Motorcycle
  (medium cycles)-
  16, 
  NBC
  Warfare/TL8-12,
  Short 
  Sword-20,
  Speed Load (magazine,
  clip, 
  power 
  cell)-18,
  Stealth-21, 
  Survival
  (IOU)-20, Survival (Jungle)-
  15, Tactics-15, Teaching-21,
  Traps/TL8-16.
  Languages:
  Japanese
  (native)-15, English-12, Latin-12.
  OTHER NPCS
  The ArchDean. She knows every-
  thing that’s going on. If the students
  can’t handle the Machine Intelligences,
  she will. 
  COUP. The college is aware of almost
  everything, including the D.O.C.T.O.R. stu-
  dent and what WUSE There? is up to.
  Though naturally suspicious of everyone
  and keeping the whole campus under
  surveillance, 
  the 
  Machine
  Intelligences have successfully mis-
  led COUP as to their real goals.
  Mundanes. Useful as shields.
  The 
  Periscopes.
  Little
  periscopes pop up out of the
  ground to observe the more interesting fire-
  fights in the course (perception roll to notice).
  They may be COUP or WUSE students trying to
  get an upper hand, but they’re really just the tun-
  nel rats amusing themselves watching stupid
  human tricks.
  I T ’ S  N O T  J U S T  A  G A M E                         10
  
  THE Computer. It has long ago infiltrated the
  Machine Intelligence’s electronic hardware and has
  advised the ArchDean on the matter.
  Campus Killer Players. The attitude towards
  those taking the courses is one of Artistic Disdain.
  They consider it lacking in aesthetics to actually kill
  someone when you can argue with them over beers
  afterward. Besides, cleaning up blood cuts into party
  time. They play practical jokes on DIE students, like
  rigging buckets of paint to fall as doors open and
  stereos to play “I am a thirty-second bomb . . .” when
  a student enters a room. At least one party member
  will be the victim of a joke each play session. If actu-
  ally encountered, a Killer player will  have a high IQ,
  an average or better Dexterity, and an Odious Personal
  Habit (practical joker). They are good at thief skills
  (many moonlight as locksmiths and do “printwork”)
  and have a skill at games (Killer) of 15 or better.
  Campus Security. During times of turmoil and
  chaos, these upright defenders of safety and propriety
  run for cover. If asked by the ArchDean to limit the
  enthusiasm of DIE104 participants they will travel in
  large packs, preferably with armored and air cavalry
  support.
  ORDER OF BATTLE
  THE Computer has assigned the following
  teams to target each other:
  Teams
  Their Targets
  1. Scum Brigade
  (The adventurers)
  2. (The adventurers)
  The Boomers
  3. The Boomers
  The Business Majors
  4. The Business Majors
  WUSE There?
  5. WUSE There?
  Halley’s Hellcats
  6. Halley’s Hellcats
  Machine Intelligences
  7. Machine Intelligences The Avenging Angels
  8. The Avenging Angels COUP d’tat
  9. COUP d’tat
  Style Over Substance
  10. Style Over Substance The Team
  11. The Team
  The Daily Llamas
  12. The Daily Llamas
  The Terminators
  13. The Terminators
  Time on Our Side
  14. Time on Our Side
  Scum Brigade
  I T ’ S  N O T  J U S T  A  G A M E                         11
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SOURCE: textdata/thevault/GURPS [multi]/Adventure/GURPS 3e - Adventure - iou - it's not just a game.pdf