TEXT: Paranoia One Shot​, or 
  It Looks Like My Mind Is Being Eaten By Silicon-Devouring Ants, Would You Like To Help Me With That? 
  By ​https://2d6.io 
   
  GM Summary 
  Check out the article on https://2d6.io for any extra props you may want to integrate to make your game even more 
  enjoyable. 
   
  The Troubleshooters are tasked with repairing an (allegedly) dysfunctioning CH3W-bot. Known to only one player is 
  the ​cause​ of said dysfunction: someone in IntSec accidentally poured some Sippy Orange Fuzz Pop in it. Your IntSec 
  officer is looking for a patsy. You’ve also got a player hell bent on destroying all tech, two folks hell bent on 
  hacking/integrating/learning about all tech, and a mutant hating individual in case any odd things start to happen and 
  they start getting suspicious. 
   
  Intro 
  Introduce the basic mechanics of the game: 
  ●
  STAT+SKILL = NODE 
  ●
  Roll NODE+COMPUTER DICE, each 5 or 6 is a success 
  ●
  Explain the computer symbol is a 6 on a red dice 
  ●
  Explain Moxie and how they can spend it (+1 dice, mutant abilities) 
  ●
  Explain the combat system (4 cards at the start. Place one face down, lie about the number if you want, use the 
  card or don’t. Basic action otherwise. Can discard the card for a basic action + node. If using equipment, add the 
  level of the equipment to your node). 
  ●
  Explain treason stars and executing a traitor (let’s just go with 50XP…) 
  ●
  Create characters (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, passing negative to the person to the left, then pass character sheet left and let 
  them pick your stats) 
  ●
  Explain Secret Societies and Mutant Abilities and ensure the players that there are only 2 mutants and at most 3 
  secret societies. Players must work hard to keep these secret from other players, though they’re welcome to 
  accuse anyone of anything at any time. 
   
  Briefing 
  You awake during morning cycle to a friendly tune in your head. Something like a mix between “This is The Song that 
  Never Ends” and “Never Gonna Give You Up” loops continuously before a voice breaks through your ear drums and a 
  stream of augmented reality digi-confetti erupts in front of your eyes.  
   
  Congratulations Troubleshooter! You have been summoned by Friend Computer for an important task! Please report 
  to Briefing room 324454 in Sector YQQ for additional information. 
   
  The digi-confetti continues to erupt in your vision for a few minutes after the message has ended, and it makes getting 
  ready to go a bit of a pain. You can’t seem to remember anything about your previous days in Alpha Complex other 
  than that forgetting to remember things that probably should not be forgotten is often what happens when one wakes 
  up in the morning and tries to remember. 
   
  You are greeted by your handling officer, a Yellow Clearance oily person, a short red-headed woman with a chipper 
  voice and a smile as wide as Kansas, whatever that is. Her name is ​QUEEP. ​She looks far too happy to be here right 
  now, and far too awake for this hour of the morningcycle.  
   
  Looking around the briefing room you notice that one of the walls is a giant malfunctioning video screen. The phone is 
  ringing constantly, though​ QUEEP ​doesn’t seem to notice. Another orange level officer walks into the room, gathers all 
  of the plastics chairs in one large stack, and removes them out the door. You’re left standing awkwardly over ​QUEEP 
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  as she breaks down the mission. You notice that all of the chairs are placed very obviously right outside the door in a 
  nice stack... 
   
  “Oh Boy Oh Boy! Hello Troubleshooters. One of our recycling bots, CH3W-B0T-9-C has gone a bit​ ​ on the haywire 
  side lately and is leaving the residents of sector YQQ in a state of panic as their Chunky Chunk-Chunk Soup is coming 
  out a bit too chunky. You have been tasked with navigating to the sublevels of YQQ and confronting CH3W-BOT-9-C, 
  evaluating its dysfunction, and calling in a repair crew if necessary. You will need to meet with B4R-TH0L3MEW-6, a 
  green security clearance egghead who is located three levels down from here. They will possess the correct 
  requisition forms necessary to access the further levels below where CH3W is causing such a ruckus.  
  B4R-TH0L3MEW-6  absolutely must accompany you for the remainder of the mission as they are the only one with 
  the appropriate clearance to speak with CH3W-BOT-9-C. They are currently behind on several months worth of 
  paperwork so, lucky you!,  you may need to assist them with that first. Now, let’s talk about equipment for your 
  mission. Here’s a listing of all of the equipment you can purchase. You’ve been given a 200 XP stipend to pick out 
  what you want to use, but I’ve got another meeting in 2 minutes, so you have to decide starting… now. 
   
  If the players successfully agree on what to purchase, QUEEP distributes the goods as needed. Otherwise the stipend 
  is forfeit. 
   
  Regardless, when finished, QUEEP will stare intently at <pick-a-random-player> for a moment before clearing her 
  throat loudly, adjusting the collar around her jumpsuit, and letting out a dry ​“Have a wonderful time! Now, please 
  leave.” 
   
  The chairs are brought back in and set back up by the same orange suited individual. 
   
  Distribute the job cards to the Troubleshooters randomly now, as well as send the Troubleshooter their society’s 
  missions now. 
   
  Encounters 
  Bouncy Bubble Hate 
  A Bouncy Bubble machine has stopped dispensing ​RY-AN-3​’s favorite flavor (Sippy Orange Fizz Pop) and they’re 
  pissed! They want help, but can’t find the right requisition form. They can SEE the god-damn Sippy Orange Fizz Pops 
  RIGHT THERE! But the damn machine isn’t wanting to cooperate. The machine. Will. Get. Violent. It shoots cans, has 
  a buzz saw for some reason and in general just talks a lot of belligerent gibberish. This is the bot that can be talked 
  down for the achievement. It’s got six boxes. Last person to fill in a box wins the achievement if it’s with some kind of 
  diplomacy thing. Otherwise just throw some other random violent bot at them later. Or don’t? 
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
  B4R-TH0L3MEW-6 
  You walk into a densely packed metal lined room with a computer terminal on one wall and an old plasti-form desk in 
  the middle. Behind the desk is the most beautiful winged-back chair you’ve ever laid eyes on, and the head of 
  someone pokes out just a whee smidgen above the top of it. They don’t seem to respond when you enter the room. 
   
  B4R-TH0L3MEW-6 ​is dead. And has been for months. If the computer is told this, it will refute this information, as the 
  appropriate ​D3-C3453D ​form has not been filled out. If the troubleshooters continue to push the computer on the 
  matter one of them will be disabled with a Blue Screen of Death while they are analyzed for cognitive errors. If the 
  players can somehow prove that there’s something wrong with ​B4R-TH0L3MEW-6​, the computer instructs them to 
  take them to the nearest interrogation booth (which is conveniently right down the hallway) once they’ve finished the 
  paperwork and obtained the codes. After dropping off ​B4R-TH0L3MEW-6 ​in the interrogation booth they can hear the 
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  citizen worker inside yell: “Ahh, a quiet one I see. The silent treatment?! I know your type!” and the crack of an 
  electrical whip, followed by more silence and “Playing hard to get, eh?” 
   
  The players are stuck with the paperwork ​B4R-TH0L3MEW-6 ​has to complete, which are all hidden inside 7 
  envelopes. The computer will insist that one of the envelopes contains a D3-C3453D form upon which completion of 
  will allow the computer to immediately return a fresh clone of the Green. The computer will remind the 
  Troubleshooters that not immediately filling out a form in its entirety after opening an envelope will result in the 
  immediate termination of said Troubleshooter, and remind the Troubleshooters that due to temporal distortions around 
  B4R-TH0L3MEW-6’s ​apartment, the replacement clone will not be able to be delivered until a “later point in time” (after 
  this encounter is complete).  
   
  On the back of one of the forms inside a random envelope there’s a message with a QR code that leads here: 
  https://www.2d6.io/paranoia-secret-message-001.html 
   
  There’s also a secret code at: ​https://www.2d6.io/paranoia-secret-message-002.html 
   
  If a Troubleshooter sends you the code from message 2, immediately raise their treason star count to 5 and reward 
  them with the “Found the Second Hidden Code” achievement 
   
  Secret message 1 states: 
   
  CH3W-B0T-9-C ​CODES ARE ​INSIDE​ MY TERMINAL. 
   
  PASSWORD:​ 4NT1-MU74NT-4-LYF3 
   
  The codes aren’t on the computer, only a series of crude photos that the players only see as a series of fuzzy pixels 
  and a bunch of propaganda pieces for ​ANTI-MUTANTS​ are found within, they’re literally ​INSIDE​ the physical 
  computer. Think Zoolander. If the troubleshooters literally break the computer, three envelopes are found inside. 
  Distribute these to three different troubleshooters (those who seems to be the most at odds with each other). 
   
  The code spells `DET` `H-TO-M` `UTNTZ` (death to mutants). They’ll need this to disable CH3W later on in the 
  mission, and they’ll need it in the right order…. IF they want to cooperate with each other. 
   
  To destroy the computer they’re going to have to do 3 ticks of damage to it. 
   
   
   
   
  LA-55Y 
  LA-55Y, a pup bot, owned by a Yellow level supervisor approaches you and is dazed, confused, and lost, which isn’t 
  normal for a bot of this level. Return it? Dismantle it? Fix it? 
   
  If some heartless soul wants to attack LA-55Y, have him fight back ferociously. Laser eyes, sharp teeth, etc 
   
   
   
   
   
  SCREW YOU B3-NNY 
  A group of thuggish red-level individuals is harassing an infrared leveled gent by the name of B3-NNY. One of the 
  thugs, SU-513, has them held by their scruff off the ground, and is threatening to feed them to cleaner bots because 
  they scuffed up their shoes. 
   
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  5 thugs sounds about right, right? First 4 pips represent the meat, the last 2 the big dude. For extra fun, have one of 
  the thugs manifest obvious mutant abilities. “Detachable fingers” sounds like a fun one! 
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
  CH3W 
  The encounter with CH3W is … scary. It’s taken to attacking and “eating” any clones or corpses that get within 
  eyesight of its vision, to the point that Friend Computer is just feeding it a non-stop line of Infrareds in order to keep it 
  occupied while the group figures out what they’re going to do. The infrareds may fight back. They may not. Let the 
  troubleshooters find other ways to solve this. Maybe there’s a computer terminal on the things back. For extra chaos, 
  have this take place in a deadzone! 
   
  Its giant face looks like the top of a paper shredding machine has been ripped off and at this point it more gums and 
  smashes than shreds. It’s got four legs and is massive. It walks like a silverback gorilla (which do not exist). Wires 
  poke out everywhere and there appears to be some kind of computer terminal on its back. You can see a sticky 
  residue leaking out of its gut that’s definitely probably maybe quite possibly blood, but also probably not. 
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
  Debriefing 
  Reward: 1250 XP 
  Make sure that the IntSec player is called out for their report on the other players during the debriefing. Allow them to 
  blame an innocent player for this whole fiasco. Let chaos reign. Give the #1 Troubleshooter reward to whoever would 
  be the most comical recipient. If the players didn’t bring ​B4R-TH0L3MEW-6 ​with them all the way to the end of the 
  mission (even if instructed to take them to interrogation by Friend Computer), chide them and deduct XP from their 
  reward (-100 XP). Come up with various other reasons to prevent the Troubleshooters from having enough XP by the 
  end of this to go up in rank, and also probably demote them to Infrared level. Here are some ideas: 
  ●
  excessive use of issued pistols (-150XP) 
  ●
  blood on jumpsuits (-200XP) 
  ●
  destruction/subversion of a Bouncy Bubble Machine (-500XP) 
  ●
  destruction/subversion of a CH3W bot (-1000XP) 
  ●
  Knowingly or unknowingly working with a mutant (-100XP) 
  ●
  Knowingly or unknowingly working with someone in a secret society (-100XP) 
   
   
   
   
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  Society Missions 
  Anti-Mutant 
  One (or more) of the members of your group is a mutant. Find out who they are. Kill them. Make it look like an 
  accident if you can. Proof isn’t important here, but try to be mostly confident before pulling the trigger. Also we’re 
  running low on Sippy Orange Fizz Pop and all of the vending machines aren’t dispensing it anymore. Bring us a 
  12-pack please? 
   
  IntSec 
  Observe. Report. Takes notes on everything and every one. We need a patsy for this CH3W muck-up. One of our own 
  accidentally spilled a can of Sippy Orange Fizz Pop in it, so that’s why the robot is not working. But we can’t let others 
  know that. We’ve disabled all vending of Sippy Orange Fizz Pop in the sector until we can figure out what in it is 
  causing bots to go haywire. Maybe don’t drink any if you find some, k? Also, anyone that calls it Soda is obviously a 
  traitor. Call them out on that.  
   
  Also keep your eyes out for anyone who is too interested in tech. We don’t want them digging into CH3W too hard. 
  You are authorized during this mission to pretend that you’re a member of another society. Just make sure it’s one 
  that someone else in your crew is already a member of. 
   
  Phreaks 
  This is our chance! A CH3W-BOT?! Imagine the parts and tech we could harvest off of that thing! It’ll be amazing! 
  Whatever it takes, make sure you take over the bot, and convince your crew to drop it off at sector HRZ. We’ll take 
  care of the rest. 
   
  Core Tech 
  Whoa, this is your chance! Finally! An opportunity to be noticed by the rest of Core Tech! Hack the CH3W, make it 
  your own, and then they’ll have to recognize your greatness in the rest of the society! What could go wrong?! Make 
  sure no technology is harmed along the way. Any raw computer terminals or stray bots can be added to our collection. 
   
  Purge 
  This is it brethren. This is your chance to shine. Kill. Every. One. These Computer loving freaks deserve it. Destroy the 
  CH3W bot and make the deaths of all of the others looks like it was the bot’s fault. Bring shame to the computer! If you 
  run into any other robots make sure they die too. And make sure you destroy any computers you can get your hands 
  on. Too many secrets on them! 
   
   
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  Prep 
  Use the below chart to plan out your character combinations. Feel free to swap them up! 
   Player 
  Society 
  Society Role 
  Mutant Ability 
  Character Name 
  Phonetic 
  Starting 
  Treason 
  1  
  Anti Mutant 
  Propagandist 
  Charm 
   
   
   
  2  
  Int Sec 
  Accidental 
  Anomaly 
   
   
   
  3  
  Phreaks 
  Isolated 
  Puppeteer 
   
   
   
  4  
  Core Tech 
  Wannabe 
  Telekinesis 
   
   
   
  5  
  Purge 
  Recruiter 
  Corrode 
   
   
   
   
   
  Achievements 
  ●
  Negotiate Peace with a rampaging bot - 100xp 
  ●
  Be the first to root out a terrorist - 50xp 
  ●
  Be the first to root out a mutant - 50xp 
  ●
  Be the first troubleshooter to drink some Sippy Orange Fizz Pop - 100xp 
  ●
  Introduce yourself to ​B4R-TH0L3MEW-6​ with a greeting worthy of his station - 50xp 
  ●
  Accurately complete a form before your fellow Troubleshooters - 100xp 
  ●
  Find the Second Hidden Code - 500xp 
   
  Extra NPC Names if you need them: 
  CH-1P (Chip) 
  ST-4N (Stan) 
  CU-R715 (Curtis) 
  B3N-J1 (Benji) 
  357E-F4N14 (Estefania) 
  5U-513 (Susie) 
  4N-N3 (Anne) 
   
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SOURCE: textdata/thevault/Paranoia [multi]/Adventures/Paranoia - Adv - It Looks Like My Mind Is Being Eaten By Silicon-Devouring Ants, Would You Like To Help Me With That.pdf