TEXT:  
   
   
   
  G1408.1 
  
   
  1 
   
  Hare and Gone 
  or 
  Let’s Jump to the Hoppy Ending! 
  Written by the GagMen on the GagMen RPG Podcast  
  Episode 21, “Hare and Gone” 
  Cover & Illustrations by Tyler Davis, Jirel Kirkley, & Gaghouse Productions 
  Background by Crimson Dragoon@deviantart 
  Contact:  shutup@gagmen.net 
   
  This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.  To 
  view a copy of this license, visit http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ . 
  Table of Contents 
  Introduction ....................................................... 2 
  Summary ............................................................ 2 
  Setting/Theme ................................................... 3 
  The Haskell Ranch .......................................... 3 
  Headstone ...................................................... 3 
  The Bunny Trail .............................................. 4 
  The Ash Mountains ........................................ 5 
  The Burrow Woods ........................................ 6 
  The Narrow Canyons ...................................... 6 
  The Coast and Keep ....................................... 6 
  Plot ..................................................................... 7 
  A hive of scum and villainy…. ......................... 7 
  Rumor Table ................................................... 8 
  Meanwhile, back on the ranch... ................... 8 
  Learning to Ride the Wild Rabbit ................... 9 
  We Didn’t Start the Fire ............................... 10 
  I Wanna Rock With You ............................... 10 
  The Watchers in the Woods ........................ 10 
  Burrow Woods Wandering Monsters .......... 11 
  Deep in a Canyon ......................................... 11 
  STAMPEDE!!! ............................................... 12 
  Beach Party .................................................. 12 
  Conflict ............................................................. 13 
  This Land is My Land .................................... 13 
  I am not a Crook .......................................... 13 
  Super Happy Fun Ending .............................. 13 
  Characters ........................................................ 14 
  Details .............................................................. 17 
  Creatures ..................................................... 17 
  Magic Items ................................................. 18 
  Cooking ........................................................ 19 
  A Bunny Drive Song  “Oh run those Bunnies 
  Run” ............................................................. 19 
  Optional Rules.............................................. 20 
  G1408.1 
  
   
  2 
   
  Introduction 
  This adventure was created using the Basic Fantasy Rules by Chris 
  Gonnerman, but any other retro-clone version of Dungeons & Dragons (or 
  whichever version of Dungeons & Dragons you may be most familiar with) 
  will easily work.  The adventure is designed for beginning level characters, 
  preferably between levels 1 - 3.   
  This adventure was created on the GagMen RPG Podcast, from Episode 21 entitled “Hare 
  and Gone.”  The GagMen Podcast is designed to help the stressed DM looking for something to 
  liven up a game or a quick idea to fill in until your real campaign is ready.  We hope you and 
  your players enjoy the game, and will look for us the next time you could use some help or a 
  laugh.  As always, feel free to modify the adventure to suit your own campaign and game 
  mastering style, and if you do let us know how it came out, where we messed up, or where we 
  went right.   
  Though this game does involve riding bunnies, the GagMen seriously advise against 
  bunnies attempting to ride, or attempting to ride a bunny.  Most bunnies are very small in the 
  real world and will not support the weight of the average human.  If you find a bunny large 
  enough to support human weight, we suggest running, as it is very likely a bear wearing bunny 
  ears.  Should you find yourself on the back of a bear with bunny ears, put on a pair of bear 
  ears.  This might confuse the bear long enough that you might still be able to get away. 
   
  Summary 
  The party joins a Dire-bunny drive as guards on a long cross-
  country trek to ensure delivery of the furry mounts to the queen’s 
  personal knights; but dangers lurk around every corner.  Can your 
  heroes get a wild warren of rabbits through the dangers of the 
  world?  Will a tribe of angry Goblins turn the herd into stew?  Who 
  knows, but with fifty rabbit’s feet on your side, you might get lucky! 
   
   
   
   
  
   
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  Setting/Theme 
  This adventure 
  is set in the GagMen’s 
  established Fantasy world of 
  Brattleburg.  In this realm, magic is unusual 
  but not unexpected, conflicts are settled 
  with swords and spears, dragons can fly 
  overhead at any moment, and most sentient 
  races live side-by-side cooperatively.  The 
  adventure will begin in the Yarlscliff Valley, 
  an area of high altitude grasslands, perfect 
  for raising animals.  The valley is near the 
  Ash Mountains, which have been heavily 
  mined over the years, yet still contain many 
  mysteries and valuable minerals. 
  The average fantasy adventure 
  tends toward the magical, however in this 
  adventure the magic will be of a much 
  smaller and subtle type.  With a bunny 
  drive and the introduction of the town of 
  Headstone, it would be best to adapt a very 
  western mentality when approaching this 
  adventure. 
   
  The Haskell Ranch 
  In the Yarlscliff Valley, 
  north of the village of 
  Headstone, east of the 
  Goblin territories, and 
  near the Ash Mountains lies 
  the bustling Haskell Ranch.  These lovely 
  green hills 
  have been a 
  homestead 
  site for the 
  Halfling family for over twelve generations 
  of Haskells.   The Haskell Ranch has been 
  widely known for centuries as the best dire 
  bunny ranchers in the entire 
  valley.  Though there is no fence 
  surrounding the Haskell lands, most 
  ranchers understand and respect the 
  territory marked out by one another.  Mert 
  Haskell (see Characters) has recently and 
  reluctantly inherited the ranch.  For the 
  longest time the nearby Goblins have lived 
  in peace with the surrounding area, 
  however a sudden 
  outbreak of attacks have 
  Mert and the locals of 
  Headstone concerned 
  for their herd’s safety. 
   
  Headstone 
  The town of headstone was founded 
  originally as a mining camp for a series of 
  little mines that popped up all along the 
  nearby Ash Mountains.  Most notably the 
  Wiggle Twig Mine was the first prosperous 
  mine to put out the gems known as 
  Armarath Diamonds.  Since the first mine 
  opened, many more have appeared, with 
  fantastic mineral finds.  With prosperity of 
  
   
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  the mines, came the prosperity of 
  Headstone a now busy little village that is 
  home to almost four-hundred 
  citizens.  
  Headstone is far 
  from the big cities, but 
  traveling performers will 
  visit the town from time 
  to time and present such 
  epic stories as, “The Mad 
  King and the Humble 
  Dragon”, “The Orange 
  Death”, and “The Pirates of the 
  Misty Isle.”  With three large theaters, 
  fifteen saloons, twelve gambling halls, an 
  array of brothels, and numerous inns the 
  town brings in people from all over just to 
  run the infrastructure of the town.  Many of 
  the residents are new arrivals planning on 
  making a big strike in the mountains or just 
  to make a start is a fresh town.   
  The town is not without its 
  problems, with the amount of money 
  coming in and going out, the town is often 
  bothered by criminals looking for a quick 
  mark.  Likewise, the influx of people and the 
  natural demeanor of the miners has made 
  the town difficult to manage.  This is why 
  the town hired Samuel “Gravedigger“ 
  Russell (See Characters). With his brothers 
  at his side, Russell has kept the chaos off 
  the streets and has maintained the peace in 
  town.  Sheriff Russell sticks enforces a strict 
  no weapon policy in town; visitors are 
  expected to surrender their 
  weapons at the guard 
  post.  Any person caught 
  with a weapon in town 
  is instantly arrested. 
   
  The Bunny Trail 
       The acclaim of the 
  Haskell Ranch is so great 
  that the Halfling Queen has 
  always insisted on using their 
  stock as mounts for her personal knights. 
  Halfling knights are known commonly as 
  ‘Half-Knights;’ not due to their size as much 
  as their use of light armor, favoring speed 
  and agility over the bulkiness and weight of 
  heavy armor.  Because of the need for 
  freshly trained mounts, the Haskell Ranch 
  drives two-hundred and fifty head of 
  bunnies to the knights training grounds 
  along the coast every year.  The bunny trail 
  is traveled often enough that the road has 
  become a main route from the center of the 
  continent to the coast.  The roadway is well 
  worn, leading from Headstone, along the 
  edge of the Ash Mountains, 
  through the Burrow Woods 
  and a series of narrow 
  canyons, following along 
  
   
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  the Armarath River, finally leading to the 
  coast and the Keep of the Half-Knights.  A 
  normal traveling party can traverse this 
  distance in about a week and a half, though 
  with the bunnies in tow this 800 kilometer 
  (500 miles) trek can take up to a month. 
   
  The Ash Mountains 
      This imposing mountain range lies far to 
  the north of Brattleburg, and requires 
  several weeks of travel to reach.  The 
  mountains rise over 6,000 feet above sea 
  level, and some say that upon reaching the 
  highest peak one can touch the sky.  The 
  Ash Mountains are chalky-grey in tone, 
  except for the snow white mountain 
  tops.  There is a small “goat” path up the 
  mountain, though many loose rocks can 
  cause dangerous landslides.  The Bunny 
  Trail leads alongside the Ash Mountains for 
  a forty-mile stretch.  The mountain range 
  has sparse vegetation, but enough to feed 
  the bunnies as they travel through the area. 
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
  
   
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  The Burrow Woods      
  Following the Bunny Trail, past the 
  Ash Mountains, leads travelers to in the 
  mossy overgrown Burrow 
  Woods.  The Burrow Woods 
  are rumored to be the home 
  to many mysterious and 
  magical creatures.  The 
  moss covered trees of this 
  forest are twisted into 
  unusual and unexpected 
  shapes, giving the area an 
  aura of curiosity and wonder.  The woods 
  were named for Burrow Owl, which are 
  plentiful in the area.  The Burrow Owls 
  roam through the woods in small flocks, 
  picking and pecking at just about 
  everything they can find, often becoming a 
  nuisance, though hardly a hindrance, to 
  travelers.    
   
  The Narrow Canyons  
  Following the Armarath River out of 
  the Burrow Woods will lead to a narrow 
  gorge, or canyon, with a wide path along 
  the side to the river through the basin of the 
  canyons.  The canyon walls can reach as 
  high as fifty-feet in various points along the 
  way.  The narrow path naturally forces the 
  rabbits in a tight group while also making 
  turning around impossible; as such it the 
  perfect site for an ambush. 
  The Coast and Keep 
  The Armarath River empties out 
  into the Sea of Badabar, where the waters 
  are a brilliant emerald 
  green with hints of 
  blue.  The sea is rather 
  calm, with a gentle tide 
  coming in along the 
  shore.  From this point the 
  Keep of the Half-Knights 
  lies due south along the 
  coastline, less than ten 
  miles distant.  The keep stands atop a 
  craggy cliff outcropping, almost two-
  hundred feet above the beach.  The walls of 
  the keep are twenty-feet higher than most 
  castle walls, making the keep one of the 
  most dangerous to attack and a perfect 
  haven for the youngest of warriors until 
  they are fully trained.   
  The keep has four standard lookout 
  towers, each manned at all times.  The 
  tower guards will light signal fires upon 
  
   
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  seeing the arrival of new rabbits.  The keep 
  is defended by over three-hundred 
  guardsmen, two-hundred mounted Half-
  Knight squires, six ballistae, and a 
  drawbridge connecting the keep to the land. 
   
  Plot 
  A hive of scum and villainy…. 
  Headstone is a small bustling village 
  overrun with different people from all over, 
  and the ideal starting place for the 
  adventure.  How the party arrives here is 
  the up to the DM, though the party 
  could have been hired to escort 
  Mert’s herd, or may have 
  wandered into town looking for a 
  job, or simply have become lost and 
  wind up in Headstone; Whatever 
  reason you choose, Headstone is the 
  right place to begin. 
  Upon arriving in Headstone the 
  party will be stopped by a single guard on 
  the edge of town.  The 
  guardsman will explain 
  that no weapons 
  are allowed in town, 
  and ask them to check in 
  their weapons with 
  him at the 
  guardhouse.  The 
  party will be able to 
  retrieve their weapons on their way out of 
  town.  If asked why they have to surrender 
  their weapons, the guard will 
  reply, “By order of Sheriff 
  Russell, in order to keep the 
  peace.”  If the party should 
  carry on or attempt to ride 
  into town with their weapons, 
  the guardsman will run into 
  his small guardhouse and 
  ring a loud bell that can be 
  heard throughout town.  This will bring the 
  Sheriff and a group of deputies, who will 
  threaten to arrest the group if they do 
  not surrender their weapons.   
  Once the group has made 
  peace with the law, they will be free 
  to enjoy the many comforts of 
  Headstone.  With dozens of pubs, inns, 
  theaters, gambling halls, dancing halls, 
  and brothels, it is likely the group will find 
  something to keep them busy.   
  If they are in route to see Mert, this 
  will be a good chance to listen in to the 
  crowd for rumors and information (see 
  below Rumor Table) that may be useful 
  later in the adventure.  Otherwise the party 
  should hear that Mert is looking for help 
  escorting his herd, and has been getting 
  picked on by Goblins like “Crazy Eyes” (see 
  Characters).  Any meetings with “Crazy 
  Eyes” should be short and simple, and 
  
   
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  convey the idea that he doesn’t like Mert, 
  and will gladly remove anyone that gets in 
  his way. 
  1D10 Rumor Table 
  1 
  Mert's Bunnies have been grazing outside 
  of his normal property. 
  2 
  Everyone that goes on a Haskell rabbit 
  drive comes back rich. 
  3 
  “Them Goblins is startin’ ta’ move into the 
  area and taking our jobs!” 
  4 
  Anyone that gets too close to the Ash 
  Mountains will turn into a rabbit. 
  5 
  The Haskells only hire Halflings. 
  6 
  Mert is a no good quitter that is giving up 
  on his family’s ranch. 
  7 
  A riding bunny is twice as fast as any 
  horse, and more maneuverable. 
  8 
  The Bunny Trail is the most used road to 
  the ocean. 
  9 
  There is a dragon at the top of the Ash 
  Mountains 
  10 
  Mert is looking to get rich quick and 
  doesn’t care how. 
   
  Meanwhile, back on the ranch... 
  At the Haskell Ranch, the party will 
  find Mert riding along the corral, watching a 
  bronc-bunny buster breaking in a new 
  mount for the drive.  Mert will 
  introduce himself and give the 
  party a tour of the ranch.  The 
  party will eventually learn 
  that Mert has little love for the family 
  business, and often refers to the 
  rabbits as “dumb bunnies.”  Mert 
  hopes to make this his last 
  drive and sell off the ranch in 
  order to pursue his love of the 
  sea, which has always been his 
  dream.  
  There are about ten other men that 
  help run the ranch, and seem agitated that 
  Mert would abandon the noble tradition of 
  running the ranch and supplying the most 
  noble of knights with swift mounts. 
  Bali “Mackie” MacSproy (see 
  Characters) has worked for the Haskell 
  family ranch for as long as he can 
  remember, and dreams of buying the ranch 
  from Mert; unfortunately he has no hope of 
  raising that kind of money.  Mackie will 
  finish the tour of the Ranch for Mert, as 
  Mert will just get more and more depressed 
  talking about his ‘boring’ ranch.  Mackie will 
  take the party to the bunkhouse where they 
  will be given a bed and a storage chest for 
  their personal things.   
  By the end of the tour, everyone 
  should be settling in when the dinner bell 
  will go off.  All the ranch hands will 
  drop whatever they are doing and 
  head on up for supper.  The 
  party will be encouraged 
  to join them, and most 
  ranch hands will drop sideways 
  
   
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  compliments saying, “Peppers food is 
  powerful; it’ll blow right out your backside 
  before you know it!”  Should the party go to 
  supper, they will find a long dining hall with 
  several small tables (perfect for Halflings) 
  and chairs enough for over forty people.   
  “Pepper” Lea Boon is running the 
  chow line with a large pot of beans, fresh 
  apples, and coffee.  Most of the ranch hands 
  are eating so fast that they aren’t even 
  looking up, but they will respond to any 
  questions the party decides to ask. 
   
  Learning to Ride the Wild Rabbit 
  The next morning, Mackie will take 
  the party out and teach them to ride; each 
  party member will be given a pair of rabbit-
  fur riding chaps, which will magically allow 
  them to fit on the rabbits.  The riding 
  rabbits are about the size of a pony, so any 
  full sized character will have some difficulty 
  handling the bunny.  The animal can carry a 
  heavy load, but will slow by half of its 
  normal movement, which will make the 
  character a hindrance to the drive.  By 
  wearing the chaps they will be able to ride 
  the rabbits at top speed and keep up. 
  To help the party control the 
  rabbits, Mackie will have them ride around 
  the ranch to get a feel for how the bunnies 
  handle.  For simple handling use normal 
  dexterity save, if the animal becomes 
  startled have the player save on wisdom, 
  and if the animal takes off on a wild ride 
  save versus strength to hold on or dexterity 
  to dive off.   
  Once the party has had a little fun 
  chasing around the yard on their new 
  mounts, Mert will come out and suggest 
  that they try out “Carrot Stomper.”  Mackie 
  will advise against it, as the party is just 
  learning and Carrot Stomper is just too 
  wild. If a party member volunteers despite 
  Mackie’s warnings, they will put a bridle on 
  a large black bunny.  Once the character 
  mounts him the bunny will take wild leaps 
  into the air in order to knock off the rider.   
  The character should save against 
  strength to hold on; if they are able to do so 
  for six rounds the rabbit will slow down 
  and start to accept the player.  If Carrot 
  Stomper is successfully ‘broken’ by a 
  player, then he may be used as a 
  mount for the rest of the 
  
   
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  adventure, and the player will have earned 
  the respect of Mackie and Mert. 
   
  We Didn’t Start the Fire 
  After a long, hard day of riding 
  rabbits, the party will hit their bunks or 
  nurse their wounds and drift off to sleep.  A 
  loud bell will sound, waking up the entire 
  ranch at two in the morning.  The main 
  ranch house is on fire.  All ranch NPCS will 
  come running to form a bucket line and 
  start fighting the fire.  A small war party of 
  goblins in a balloon overhead attempted to 
  start a fire, but accidentally set their 
  balloon on fire instead and crashed into the 
  house.  The three goblins survived the 
  crash, and will draw their weapons and 
  make every effort to escape.  If the goblins 
  are captured they will say nothing more 
  than yell at Mert, accusing him and his 
  rabbits of destroying their sacred 
  lands.  The sheriff will come 
  out and take any captives to 
  jail in the morning.    
   
  I Wanna Rock With You 
  With all the 
  excitement of the previous night, everyone 
  is a little more anxious than normal; despite 
  this the bunny drive will commence as 
  usual.   The herd is driven alongside the Ash 
  Mountains for a few days.  A very 
  perceptive player may notice one 
  or two goblin scouts 
  following the herd.  The 
  party may go and investigate, 
  but the scouts will be long 
  gone before anyone gets 
  near them.  If the goblins 
  feel that they have been 
  discovered, they will go ahead 
  of the herd and rig a landslide to 
  hurt the herd and/or bunny 
  handlers.   
  When the landslide starts, the bunny 
  herd will quickly disperse, causing the 
  group to chase down runaway bunnies for 
  most of the day.  The player’s mounts will 
  also try to escape the landslide by leaping.  
  This tactic should preserve most of the herd 
  from the landslide; however anyone riding 
  a bunny that makes this sudden leap will 
  need to make a strength check or risk 
  flying off of the mount and into the 
  landslide.  Any character hit by the 
  landslide will suffer 2D4 damage and be 
  buried until someone (or a bunny) can dig 
  them out. 
   
  The Watchers in the Woods 
  The Bunny Trail leads the drive to 
  the Burrow Woods, a thick mossy forest, 
  with an infestation of Burrow Owls.  These 
  
   
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  pesky little burrow owls are 
  constantly underfoot while the 
  party is in the forest.  The good 
  news is that for the week it will 
  take to get the bunnies through 
  the woods, Pepper will be 
  making her very spicy owl stew 
  every night.  The goblins will 
  plan to kidnap one of the bunny 
  handlers.  They were hoping to get Mert, 
  but they really have a hard time telling 
  Halflings apart.  In the middle of the night 
  they will sneak into the camp and run off 
  with one of the Halfling wranglers. 
  They will spend the morning 
  interrogating the Halfling wrangler just a 
  mile away from the party’s campsite.  With 
  a little investigation the party will be able to 
  track the goblins and plan a rescue to save 
  the wrangler.  If the party listens in on the 
  questioning, they will hear the goblins ask 
  repeatedly “Where are the jewels?” or some 
  variation.  The Goblins believe they have 
  Mert and that he is simply refusing to talk. 
  During the week there should be at 
  least two more random monster attacks 
  while in the woods. Feel free to plan out the 
  attacks or use the wandering monster table 
  below.  The bunny drive should eventually 
  reach the Armarath River on the outer edge 
  of the forest, which leads to the canyons 
  beyond. 
  1D8 Burrow Woods Wandering 
  Monsters 
  1 
  Wolves 
  2 
  Giant Beetles 
  3 
  Troglodytes 
  4 
  Giant Centipedes 
  5 
  Bandits 
  6 
  Shroomkins 
  7 
  Goblin Scouts 
  8 
  Orcs (attracted to Peppers cooking) 
   
  Deep in a Canyon 
  In the Canyons the Bunny Trail will 
  follow along the side of the river bed, 
  making it much easier to keep the rabbits 
  together.  The canyon is dusty grey-green 
  clay, and many large well rounded stones 
  lay along the river bed.  The Armarath River 
  runs through the canyon basin and is crisp, 
  clean, cool mountain water, filled with a 
  variety of trout and other river fish.   The 
  canyon goes on for almost fifty miles before 
  reaching the coastline.  Forty-miles short of 
  the coast the canyon will start 
  getting shorter until it 
  disappears, giving way for a 
  sparse coastal forest.  The 
  canyon causes an echoing 
  effect so characters could 
  become easily confused in 
  
   
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  an emergency, this effect could also frighten 
  the herd more than normal. 
   
  STAMPEDE!!! 
  The goblins have been following 
  along with a small ten goblin squadron of 
  dirigibles, and will eventually attack by 
  dropping flash bombs into the herd.  The 
  flash bombs will detonate with a blinding 
  flash and a deafening explosion, guaranteed 
  to start a 
  stampede.  The terrified 
  bunnies, caught 
  between blasts, will 
  begin running back and 
  forth, trampling anyone 
  on the ground.  All 
  riders will need to make 
  an appropriate save 
  (see Riding a Bunny) to 
  control their mount; 
  failure means they are 
  thrown to the ground to 
  be trampled. 
  Anyone thrown from their mount 
  will need to save versus dexterity or 
  constitution to avoid full trample damage 
  1d4 per round being trampled.  A second 
  alternative for humans and large 
  humanoids is to simply take off their riding 
  chaps, become full size and only suffer 1d2 
  damage per round and save per normal 
  trample rules.  Humans and Half-Orcs can 
  put smaller humanoids on their shoulders 
  to avoid the bulk of the damage from the 
  stampede. 
   
  Beach Party 
  With most of the journey behind 
  them, the herders will reach the Sea of 
  Badabar, with its gleaming golden sands 
  stretching along the coastline.  The 
  Armarath River will end at 
  the sea, and from there the 
  herd must be driven south 
  to the keep of the Half-
  Knights, a small sturdy 
  fortress used for training 
  squires and the steeds 
  they will use.   The goblins, 
  led by Crazy Eyes, will 
  make a last ditch attempt 
  to attack the bunnies in an 
  open raid on the 
  beach.  The goblins will 
  surround the herd and Crazy Eyes will 
  challenge Mert to a duel to settle things and 
  end the bloodshed.  Mert will likely call on 
  one of the party members to stand in his 
  place, otherwise the goblins will attack. 
      It is possible for member of the party to 
  run ahead to summon help from the 
  keep.  There also a chance a small patrol 
  from the keep will wander by, in either case 
  
   
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  the party should have a few options aside 
  from dying on the beach. 
   
  Conflict 
  This Land is My Land 
      From the very first 
  goblin attack, Mert has 
  claimed that the goblins are attacking to 
  protect their land.  If the party successfully 
  captures any goblins along the way, Mert 
  will secretly attempt to kill them to protect 
  his secret. 
   
  “I am not a Crook!” 
      Mert stole the goblin’s royal jewels the 
  night before they left on the bunny drive, 
  and was hoping to reach safe location to sell 
  them.  Mert will constantly deny any 
  allegations made by the goblins, and claim 
  he had no motive to steal from them, as he 
  stands to make a decent profit from the 
  bunny drive.   
  In reality, the ranch is losing money; 
  over the years the Haskells never raised 
  their prices, gradually causing a deficit as 
  costs to run the ranch grew. Mert planned 
  to take the money from the rabbits and the 
  jewels, and high-tail it out of there.  The 
  party should pick up on little clues from the 
  way Mert deals with the goblins, and they 
  should eventually realize that Mert has 
  been lying to them. 
   
  Super Happy Fun Ending 
  The best possible ending to the 
  confrontation between Crazy Eyes and 
  Mert should happen with no help from the 
  party; when it looks like he may lose, Mert 
  will signal his wranglers to attack the 
  goblins.  This will lead to a dirty fight, 
  perhaps causing the party to sympathize 
  with the goblins.  During the battle, a Half-
  Knight patrol should come riding along the 
  beach, and stop the fighting by getting 
  between the two groups.  The honorable 
  Half-Knights will give the goblins equal 
  chance to be heard, and could be persuaded 
  to arrest Mert if given the right evidence.   
  In the end, the part should discover 
  that the jewels Mert stole are just glass 
  beads that have a sentimental value to the 
  Goblin tribe.  The Half-Knights still need a 
  regular supply of mounts, so they 
  will turn the ownership of the 
  Haskell Ranch over to 
  Mackie.  Mackie will make peace 
  with Crazy Eyes and offer the 
  goblins jobs on the ranch.  With 
  the mystery solved and peace 
  restored, the heroes can hop into 
  the sunset, satisfied with a job well don
  
   
  14 
   
  Characters 
  Mert Haskell  
  (AC 14; hd 3; hp 13; #AT: 1; DMG short 
  sword 1d6+1) 
  A Halfling rancher, Mert is trying to 
  get his herd to their new home, but really 
  only wants to be paid.  Haskell has grown to 
  hate the “dumb bunnies” as he calls 
  them.  The ranch was his father's business, 
  but he wants to sell off all the rabbits and 
  join the navy.  He fondly speaks of being at 
  sea and the calm of the ocean. Upon further 
  discussion, however, the party will discover 
  that he has never set foot on a boat. 
   
   
   
   
   
  Bali “Mackie” MacSproy  
  (AC 15; hd 4; hp 16; #AT: 1; DMG short 
  sword 1d6) 
  An older Halfling that has worked 
  on the ranch for nearly 55 years, Mackie 
  truly enjoyed working for the Haskells, and 
  resents Mert for wanting to abandon the 
  family business.  Mackie can be often heard 
  telling Mert “That ain’t what your daddy 
  would’a done.”  While this drives Mert 
  crazy, he tolerates Mackie as he is the best 
  bunny wrangler in the business, and he 
  knows the ranch like the back of his hand. 
   
   
   
   
  
   
  15 
   
   
   
   
   
   
  “Pepper” Lea Boon  
  (AC 12; hd 2; 10; #AT: 1; DMG frying pan 1d6) 
  Pepper has been the Haskell’s head chef 
  for a few years, and is an amazing cook, though 
  she does tend to use too many orcish peppers to 
  enhance her food.  Not everyone can handle orcish 
  peppers, and if any of the players are eating orcish 
  peppers for the first time, they should make a 
  constitution save on the first few meals, until they 
  get used to them. 
   
  Rabbit Wrangler 
  (AC 13; hd 2; hp 10-16; #AT: 1; DMG short sword 
  1d6) 
   
  Moe “Crazy Eyes” Drak  
  (AC 16; hd 5; hp 32; #AT: 1; DMG short throwing 
  knives 1d4+2) 
  Leader of the attacking goblins, Crazy 
  Eyes only wants the jewels returned to his 
  people.  The goblins had lived in this area for 
  centuries when suddenly outsiders began arriving 
  and picking apart the landscape in order to find 
  minerals.  Crazy Eyes has seen the worst of the 
  outsiders, and has become more and more 
  frustrated with the Halflings.  He has had many 
  run-ins with Sheriff Russell in Headstone, over 
  miners digging where they are not supposed to 
  be.  Crazy Eyes has a lazy eye, giving him his 
  nickname, but he is a deadly shot with his thrown 
  knives.  Most goblins are considered savages by 
  the locals but Crazy Eyes worked for a long time as 
  a scout getting very close to the outsiders and 
  learning their ways. 
   
  Goblin Scout 
  (AC 13; hd 2; hp 11-17; #AT: 1; DMG thrown 
  knives 1d4 or hatchets 1d6) 
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
  
   
  16 
   
  Sheriff Samuel “Gravedigger“ Russell  
  (AC 17; hd 6; hp 36; #AT: 1; DMG two-
  handed sword 1d12+3) 
  Samuel is the notorious Sheriff of 
  Headstone; his ironfisted control of the 
  town has kept the peace in a town on the 
  verge of breaking.  With so many people 
  coming and going, it was difficult to 
  maintain any control over the crowds 
  without a sword fight in the street every 
  day.  Eventually, Sheriff Russell banned 
  weapons in the town in order to keep the 
  peace; this law was not widely accepted at 
  first, but eventually the constant fights 
  came to an end.  Sheriff Russell earned the 
  name Gravedigger due to the amount of 
  deaths in the first year of the “No Weapons 
  Law”, and is known throughout the valley 
  as a stone cold killer when called on to do 
  his job.  Samuel brought in his two brothers 
  Jacob and Frances, who are deputized to act 
  in his name when he is not available.  The 
  three brothers run the town guard like a 
  small army, dealing constantly with civil 
  disputes. 
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
  Half-Knight 
  (AC 16; hd 4; hp 24-32; #AT: 1; DMG Short Spear 1d8+1) 
  Normally, riding a dire rabbit.  See Optional Rules for more on Half-Knights. 
  
   
  17 
   
  Details 
  Creatures  
   
  Dire Rabbit 
  Armor Class:        16 
  Hit Dice:                3 
  No. of Attacks:    1 bite/1 kick 
  Damage:               1d4/1d4+2 
  Movement:          100’ 
  No. Appearing:   1d8 or large warren 4d8 
  Save As:                Fighter: 3 
  Morale:                   7 
  Treasure Type:    None 
  XP:                           25  
   
  Dire Rabbits are usually found in the wild, but in the Yarlscliff 
  Valley they have become more commonly domesticated.  Because of 
  their speed and agility, they are highly sought after by the queen’s 
  personal guardsmen to enhance the sped of their cavalry.  These large 
  bunnies stand nearly four feet tall, and are easily ridden by Halflings and 
  other similar sized humanoids.  The rabbits can only carry a light load of 
  about one-hundred and twenty pounds before halving their speed; they 
  are not suited to be pack animals.   
   
   
  Burrow Owl 
  Armor Class:        12 
  Hit Dice:                 ¼ HD 
  No. of Attacks:    1 peck/1 claw 
  Damage:               1/1 
  Movement:          30’ (10’ flight bursts) 
  No. Appearing:   2d6 
  Save As:                Fighter: 1 
  Morale:                 6 
  Treasure Type:   None 
  XP:                          1 
   
  These rat-like birds inhabit the Burrow Woods and have overpopulated the area.  They are 
  not terribly smart and have even forgotten how to fly like a normal owl.  They are able to dig 
  small holes to live in, though they will often find another animal’s hole and move in.  They 
  can be tricky to catch, but are easy to outfox (again, they are not smart).  Because they can 
  be captured with little problem, they are the best food source when traveling through any 
  wooded area where they are common.   
   
   
  
   
  18 
   
   
  Shroomkins 
  Armor Class:        11 
  Hit Dice:                ½ HD 
  No. of Attacks:    1 (bite) 
  Damage:               1d6 
  Movement:          10’ 
  No. Appearing:   4d8 
  Save As:                Fighter: 1 
  Morale:                 10 
  Treasure Type:   V 
  XP:                          4 per shroomkin 
   
   
  These little mushroom-like fungoid creatures live in large 
  groups.  While they average only six inches in height, the entire 
  colony will take a bite out of any person or thing unlucky enough to 
  fall into them.  Much like piranha, they feed on flesh and can quickly clean the 
  bones of any creature in seconds.  Shroomkins give off a pollen that tranquilizes their victims, 
  so any creature within a ten foot radius should Save vs. Spell to avoid becoming drowsy, falling 
  asleep and falling unconscious into the a Shroomkin colony.  Most victims are usually unaware 
  of what’s happening until it is too late. 
   
  Magic Items  
  High Hat 
      This wide-brimmed white hat, is effective at blocking the sun from the 
  wearer’s eyes, and is magically enchanted to give the user a +1 to hit 
  bonus using any ranged weapons. 
   
  Lucky Rabbits Foot 
  This is a normal sized rabbit’s foot, magically imbued with a lucky aura, giving the 
  carrier a free chance to add a second dice roll once per day.  The ability can only be used on 
  dice rolls that normally involve one die.  The ability must be declared before rolling, and the 
  user can then pick the preferred dice to count at the official roll.  This can be used on any 
  players or the dungeon masters dice roll.  
   
  
   
  19 
   
  Carrot on a Stick 
  Not really a magic item, the carrot acts as encouragement to the 
  character’s mount to run 1’ faster for three turns.  This will also encourage 
  other rabbits to follow, which could lead to problems if you only have one 
  carrot. 
   
  Rabbit Fur Chaps 
  These clean soft fur chaps are sized for a Halfling, but are magically imbued to adjust 
  the wearer’s size (and their equipment) to take up the space and weight that a Halfling would 
  in case of any oversized races trying to handle a dire rabbit mount.  The effect of being Halfling 
  size will last as long as the chaps are worn.  The character wearing them will have the same 
  stats as before and suffer no ill effects other than all the short jokes they will have to endure. 
   
  Cooking 
  Orcish Peppers  
  Are some of the most potent spices to add to any food 
  and only the best trained chefs will even try it.  Any person not 
  prepared for the potency of orcish peppers should make a save 
  against their constitution score to avoid massive stomach 
  cramps and diarrhea.   If they are prepared by an untrained cook, and the person eating them is 
  not an Orc then they must save verses Poison to avoid seventy-two hours of vomiting, diarrhea, 
  and crippling stomach cramps followed by coma. 
   
  A Bunny Drive Song  “Oh run those Bunnies Run” 
  Come on you Bunnymen and all gather ‘round, 
  I got a story that is dirty right from the start, 
  About a Bunnyman that got paid and went to town, 
  He went to a henhouse found himself a tart. 
   
  Oh, run those bunnies, run them bunnies boy-i-o, 
  You gotta run those bunnies and get them home, 
   
  Now the bunnyman lay his head upon a pillow, 
  
   
  20 
   
  That tart was tasty but now he had his fill of, 
  He heard a knock at the door and she shoved him out the window, 
  Turns out her husband did not believe in free love. 
   
  Oh, run those bunnies, run them bunnies boy-i-o, 
  You gotta run those bunnies and get them home, 
   
  So let this be a warning be the part, 
  to Bunnymen on this long long drive, 
  Don’t give your heart to a tart,  
  because she ain't as sweet inside. 
   
  Oh, run those bunnies, run them bunnies boy-i-o, 
  You gotta run those bunnies and get them home, 
   
  Optional Rules 
  Using a Lasso  
  When using a basic lasso, simply roll a normal to hit roll against the Armor Class of the 
  target that you wish to ensnare.  Because the dire rabbits are easily frightened they will stop 
  moving when snared or start pulling with all their might to be free (roll a die odd = fright and 
  even = flee).  If the animal tries to pull the lassoer will have to make a successful save versus 
  wisdom or strength, depending on if they are trying to calm them down (wisdom) or wear 
  them out (strength). 
   
  Riding a Bunny 
  To control a dire rabbit, use a normal dexterity save, if the animal becomes startled 
  have them save on wisdom to calm it down, and if the animal takes off on a wild ride save 
  versus strength to hold on or dexterity to dive off.   For the purposes of racing another 
  character, make a save versus wisdom to coax a little more speed out of your animal.  If the 
  animal loses control, roll versus strength to hold on, if it is a particularly wild beast feel free to 
  increase the challenge every round. 
   
   
  
   
  21 
   
  Half-Knight 
  Fighter Class Option 
      The Half-Knights are a cavalier-style 
  class, requiring a small light stature and 
  handling animals with perfection.  Half-
  Knights formed the honor guard meant for the 
  king, but were instead sponsored by the 
  queen.  These gallant defenders of honor and 
  justice are well suited as the queen’s 
  champions.  Each are sworn to uphold courtly 
  manners, honor, and courtesy; While they may 
  only be half-men in stature but they are full-
  men in heart. 
  A half-knight must be half normal humanoid size, such as Halfling or gnome, as any race 
  over four feet would be too large to handle their smaller mounts.  A half-knight will focus their 
  prime requisite as dexterity, in order to leap, bound, move quickly, and move quietly.  They are 
  able to use any weapon of choice, though they prefer melee weapons or a light lance when 
  mounted.  They may also wear any armor, though again they prefer lighter armor that allows 
  them to move faster and quietly.  Half-Knights are not timid with using unusual or 
  experimental devices; at times they have employed black powder weapons, spring-loaded 
  holsters, or even clockwork automatons.  Their human counterparts (knights) are only 
  interested in brutal warfare, while half-knights know that wars are often won behind closed 
  doors.  Thus the subtle and gallant art of warfare is usually won by the noble half-knight. 
  A halfling knight npc/class mounted on a dire mouse or war-rabbit.  The rat rider 
  doesn't need a bridle or harness, talking to the rat and the rat knowing what needs to be 
  done.  Only a commander rides the giant rat, they are more intelligent and dangerous than the 
  giant rabbits, and can pack a punch in a fight. 
   
   
   
   
  
   
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SOURCE: textdata/thevault/Basic Fantasy/Basic Fantasy Adventures & Settings/GagMen/G1408 Hare & Gone (GagMen) (BasicF).pdf