TEXT: 1 
   
  Maid RPG 
  The Nun-Approved File 
  Introduction 
  “I prefer the dirty version.” 
   – Nun, Monty Python’s Flying Circus, from the end of The “Mr. And Mrs. Git” Sketch. 
  For the English version of Maid RPG, we wound up cutting out a lot of things that we felt were 
  variously too obscurely Japanese or too perverted for the Western audience. The “Nun-Approved File” 
  (named for the above Monty Python quote) lists off what we changed, and includes what we removed or 
  replaced. 
   
  A Note on “Theme” and “Sexiness” 
  So, the author basically wrote this game as a huge dose of ironic humor at this whole Maid phenomenon. 
  As such, he used a lot of references, gags and dialogue text that can be best described as “sexy funny”. 
  Problem is, when we did a straight-up translation into English, some parts came out as “creepy sexy”. 
  Now, funny-sexy can be fun. It’s like the well-placed panty shot or unconfortable exchanges between 
  couples in the anime we watch. Turn up the juice, and you can play up “funny-sexy” without getting too 
  deep into it, basically ironically playing off of anime stereotypes in an ironic way rather than turning it 
  into an exciting fetish game. 
  “Creepy sexy”… it’s just not what the game is about, or what the author was meaning to write. Because 
  of differences in cultural references, language, conversation and the like, we found that a lot of words, 
  sentences, or even concepts that would be “funny sexy” in Japan, came out as simply “creepy sexy”. 
  This is the kind of stuff that would, if dropped, bring uncomfortable silence to a game, perhaps shutting 
  it down for good. Maid isn’t a fetish game to be used to get all aroused in front of other players. If you 
  see someone playing it like that, please don’t get involved, just walk the fuck away: They’re doing it 
  wrong. 
  Have you seen the anime Elfen Lied? If you have, that’s basically how a game that is meant to be 
  “funny sexy” could quickly turn into “totally creepy sexy, and unfun”. If you haven’t seen Elfen Lied, 
  don’t: It’s shit. But look it up. 
  Anyway, the author meant to make the game silly, fun, and a game with which one could also do 
  romantic or “funny sexy” comedy games. So that’s what we aimed for. Ryo Kamiya gave us a thumbs 
  up after seeing our changes, so we’re all good. But, for the sake of completion, we decided to make the 
  original material available as well.  
  
  2 
   
  From: Basic Rules 
  Character Creation 
  Maid Color Table 
  The version of the Maid Color Table in the English version is a simplified, compact form of the one from 
  the original Japanese. Here’s the full version. You’re expected to roll 1D6 twice, and look at the 
  Combination Chart below to determine what this “mix” produces: 
  Roll 
  Color 
   
  Roll 
  Color 
  1 
  Red 
   
  4 
  White 
  2 
  Blue 
   
  5 
  Black 
  3 
  Yellow 
   
  6 
  Noble 
  Color Combinations 
  Red + Red = Red 
  Yellow + Yellow = Yellow 
  Red + Blue = Purple 
  Yellow + White = Cream 
  Red + Yellow = Orange 
  Yellow + Black = Beige 
  Red + White = Pink 
  Yellow + Noble = Gold 
  Red + Black = Brown 
   
  Red + Noble = Vermilion 
  White + White = White 
   
  White + Black = Gray 
  Blue + Blue = Blue 
  White + Noble = Silver 
  Blue + Yellow = Green 
   
  Blue + White = Sky Blue 
  Black + Black = Black 
  Blue + Black = Navy Blue 
  Black + Noble = Metallic 
  Blue + Noble = Indigo 
  Noble + Noble = Transparent or Rainbow-Colored 
  Special Qualities 
  Roll 
  Special Quality 
  Description 
  51/4 
  Lesbian 
  You’re only romantically attracted to members of the same sex.* 
  66/5 
  Hearth Spirit 
   
  66/6 
  God of Poverty 
   
  * So yeah, “Lesbian” has a far different connotation in Japanese than in English. Here, the author 
  basically meant “womanizer” (and yet, who is a woman herself: You’ve seen enough anime to know the 
  type), which was why it was listed under the “perversion” table. Since all characters in Maid have the 
  opportunity to have lesbian relationships, we replaced the entry with something more accurate. 
  Accent (44) 
  We pretty much rewrote the accent sub-table from scratch, not because it was icky, but because it just 
  included a bunch of things that are specific to the Japanese language and hard to translate over well. 
  Also, in Japanese, one can do a “Fake Chinese Accent” by simply adding a few special word endings 
  and sentence endings, and it’s totally not offensive. In the west, any way you cut it an outrageous fake 
  Chinese accent is going to look like some old Jerry Lewis bullshit, and that’s just not good. 
  
  3 
   
   
  Roll 
  Special Quality 
  Description 
  1 
  Osaka Dialect 
  You speak in Osaka dialect. You don’t have to always refer to yourself as 
  uchi. If you’re playing the game in English, some kind of southern accent 
  would probably be a rough equivalent. 
  2 
  Regional Dialect 
  You speak in some other dialect, such as Kyoto, Nagoya, Hakata, or Tosa. If 
  you’re playing in English, some other dialect/accent will have to do.  
  3 
  Samurai Talk 
  You speak like a character out of an old samurai movie. In Japanese, this 
  means saying sessha, soregashi, and ~gozaru a whole lot. In English, try to 
  sound like an equally stereotypical medieval knight or ren-faire reject. 
  4 
  Meow 
  You like to sprinkle cat sounds in your speech. In Japanese nyaa is the order 
  of the day. If the GM allows, you can decide just how much you do this. 
  5 
  Fake Chinese 
  You talk like a fake Chinese character from an anime. If you’re playing the 
  game in Japanese say watashi and aru a lot. In English, try to sound like 
  Shampoo from the dubbed version of Ranma ½. 
  6 
  Fake Foreigner 
  You talk like a stereotypical foreigner from an anime. If you’re playing in 
  Japanese, say watashi and dehsu a lot. In English, pick a nationality and be as 
  un-PC as you can. 
   
  Dialogue 
  Some of the dialogue was rewritten to provide a clearer picture of what was happening. In Japanese, the 
  events are vague, but you can totally picture what was happening in a lighthearted way if you’ve seen 
  any romance/comedy anime. But when we brought it “as is” into English and read the dialogue, we 
  were like “What the Fuck Is This???” The aforementioned “creepy sexy”, without proper context. 
  Action Resolution 
  Yugami: 
  Oh, sempai… There you are… 
  Hizumi: 
  Um, Kamiya-sama, who is that girl who’s peeking out from over there? 
  Kamiya: 
  Oh, that’s Yugami; she’s a new maid here to help out with explaining the system. 
  Yugami: 
  From here on we’ll be together, sempai. Pleased to meet you. 
  Hizumi: 
  N-Nice to meet you… Um… Uh… Yugami… chan? 
  Yugami: 
  Yes? 
  Hizumi: 
  Wh-Why are you so… close? 
  Yugami: 
  Because you smell wonderful! Mmmm! 
  Hizumi: 
  P-Please stop, okay? 
  Kamiya: 
  Yes! Hizumi’s shyness comes to the fore! Wonderful! 
  Hizumi: 
  Um… I don’t think shyness is really the issue, and… Kamiya-sama, what are you doing? 
  Kamiya: 
  Hm? Oh, This is a video camera. I’ve gone to the trouble of employing you two, so I intend 
  to enjoy it… 
  Hizumi: 
  Y-You’re not paying us though! Um… Eep! 
  Yugami: 
  Sempai, your tail tastes funny… 
  Hizumi: 
  Ah! Please leave my tail alone… 
  Kamiya: 
  Hmm… Looks like bringing in a newcomer was the right thing to do. I’m getting some 
  great footage… 
  Hizumi: 
  Aah! P-Please stop filming this… 
  
  4 
   
  Kamiya: 
  Heheheh. You’re forgetting that this is all so our friends can understand the system! We 
  can’t turn back now! 
  Yugami: 
  Teehee! Sempai, make more sounds! 
  Hizumi: 
  S-Stop… 
  Kamiya: 
  So, you seem to not like having your tail licked. This is proving to be most educational. I’m 
  glad I’m getting this on tape. 
  Yugami: 
  Sempai, do you like being watched? Teehee, I can feel the blood rushing through your tail, 
  getting warmer… 
  Hizumi: 
  N-No… I… I’m not… Aaah… Don’t bite… 
  Yugami: 
  Mmmm… Mmmmm… 
  Kamiya: 
  At this rate I’m worried some kind of fluid is going to come out of your tail. I’d better get a 
  tripod for my camera. 
  Hizumi: 
  K-Kamiya-sama, please help me! 
  Kamiya: 
  Well, let’s move on to the combat rules. 
  
  5 
   
  Items 
  The item table was the single most problematic part of the whole book. It includes some staggeringly 
  obscure references, and blatant “creepy sexy” stuff. Here’s all the good stuff you missed from the 
  English version. 
  132 The “Never Look Stupid” Maid Uniform (Maid Uniform/Curse) 
  This is a very mysterious maid uniform. For some reason, it makes it so that you are no longer 
  influenced by disrobing, and you gain 10 points of Favor just for putting it on. However, once you put it 
  on you lose 10 points of Favor if you change into a normal maid uniform or another outfit. 
  143 Decapitation Pot 
  This is a pot with chains attached. The inside of the pot is lined with sharp blades, and it will slice off 
  the head of anyone whose head is stuck into it. If you equip this, you get “Decapitation Pot” as a weapon. 
  If you get a better result than your opponent, it will cause instant death or a Stress Explosion (equivalent 
  to being 10 points over their Spirit) regardless of the margin of success. However, this weapon does not 
  actually cause Stress. 
  145 KKK Suit 
  This questionable outfit consists of a robe and pointy hat, and is worn by crazy racists. The wearer reeks 
  of prejudice, and cannot seduce or be seduced by those who are different from herself (e.g. vampires, 
  robots, etc.). 
  Translator Note: A friend of mine suggested adding something about wearing this causing monster 
  hunters to mistake you for a ghost or something, but we went for replacing it instead. 
  146 Akumetsu Mask 
  This mask is more of a symbol of justice than a true mask. You can only equip it while an enemy NPC is 
  watching. While it’s equipped, you gain +1 to all of your attributes, but because you’re covered in 
  gunpowder, as soon as you defeat one enemy NPC you’ll die. Well, you’ll perish from having your head 
  explode, but you can come back 15 minutes later as though nothing happened. 
  Translator Note: This comes from the “Akumetsu” manga, which exactly Zero People in the West have 
  heard of. 
  215 Onionhead Gear*
  This is a comical, silly kind of getup (including a large wig and glasses) that is only allowed to the elite 
  warriors of a certain country. If you equip it, you gain “Onion” as a weapon. You can attach a remove it 
  as you wish, and the shock of revealing a normal face after going around as an Onionhead gives you 
  gain a +1 bonus to the die roll for seduction attempts. 
   
  245 Girl Punishment Rod 
  This is a kokeshi doll that is said to have been carved by a strange monk who caused a stir during the 
  Edo Shogunate. If you equip it you gain [censored] as a weapon. The details are unknown, but by 
                                                   
  * This is a reference to the Tamanegi Butai from Patalliro! 
  
  6 
   
  attacking with this weapon you can automatically seduce opponents that you have caused Stress to (you 
  can use Athletics or Skill, and you can spend Favor). 
  Translator Note: A kokeshi doll looks kinda like a wooden phallus. It’s also the name of a popular adult 
  video studio. This was a play on that subject in the original Japanese, but in English no one knows what 
  a kokeshi doll is. And if you do, without the context, it just sounds plain creepy. 
  266 Amazing Vessel (Technique) 
  A part of your body is just as the name implies. If you equip this, and you “Do that thing” with the 
  Master or another PC, you can automatically seduce them, or if you've already seduce them you can gain 
  an additional 1D6 Favor. 
  Translator Note: Vessel does not refer to a boat. 
  311 Small Vessel (Technique/Curse) 
  You have a small vessel for a human being. If you equip this, you get the Special Quality “Small 
  Vessel.” Whenever other maids gain Favor, you take the same amount of Stress. However, when another 
  maid has a Stress Explosion, you're a Stress drops to zero. 
  Translator Note: Ha ha ha ha FUCK NO. 
  323 Iron Cross 
  This was a medal once given to the most highly honored soldiers of the Third Reich. If you equip it you 
  gain “Membership/Third Reich” as a Special Quality. Regardless of your personal views, you wind up 
  with a small squad of SS troopers (Attributes 2) following you. 
  Translator Note: Holy fuck no. Although we did end up replacing this with its opposite, which actually 
  might get the same reaction in Japan as an Iron Cross would in the West: Basically a right-wing loony 
  Uyoku group, those crazy (but thankfully impotent) fucks who want to take the country back to the days 
  of when everyone worshipped the Emporer, build up a huge offensive military force and invade China 
  again and shit. They’re also often tied to the yakuza. Check out “Uyoku” on Wikipedia to find out more. 
  325 Dog Tattoo (Technique/Pet) 
  This is a tattoo of a dog that somehow seems to move on your skin. It comforts you, and reduces any 
  Stress you take by 1. 
  Translator Note: Comes from some manga no one has heard of. 
  342 Hair (Technique) 
  This is thick hair attached to a particular area. If a character who equips it is 15 years old or younger, she 
  will become 16. Also, if she has Lolita or Pure as Maid Types, those will be replaced with Sexy. This 
  also provides a bonus of +1 to Cunning. 
  Translator Note: This is an ironic play at Japan’s bizarre system of censorship, pornography and pubic 
  hair. But in the West, it just comes off as “Family Guy’s Old Neighbor Guy” brands of creepy. 
  
  7 
   
  346 Meat Weapon (Technique) 
  Details unknown. Whatever it is, it combines with and alters the body. A female character who equips 
  this item gets the “Actually A Guy” Special Quality. A male character who equips this item gets an 
  “Even More of a Guy” Special Quality. Such characters gain double the usual Favor from “Doing that 
  thing.” 
  Notes: Futanari. Yeah. Actually, we wanted to include this but couldn’t think of a way to do it in the way 
  intended. Also, we had a lot of other cool ideas for stuff to add into the English edition, so this one got 
  the short straw. 
  431 Too-Fun Game 
  This game is like a kind of poison; once someone starts playing it they just can't stop. Maids who do try 
  it the result of 9 or better on a Luck or Will roll or they'll play the game for the next 15 minutes of real 
  time. For the duration they can do nothing but play the game. However, if the destruction of the mansion 
  or some such makes it impossible to continue the game the player can resume role-playing like usual. 
  Notes: I forget what this is from. But the Western version might be “Suckfunnel” from the Star Trek: 
  Next Generation episode “The Game”. 
  433 Widow-Killer 
  Details unknown. You can get a result of 8 or better on a Skill roll, you can seduce one female character. 
  Notes: This item isn’t for literally killing a widow of course, but rather a device for curing a single 
  woman’s loneliness. In other words, it’s a dildo. As it is, the word “Widow-Killer” is a fun play on 
  words that shows up from time to time in J-Dramas and the like. But in English… just didn’t make sense. 
  445 Basket Case 
  This basket case contains strange looking brothers or sisters. If you put it in an appropriate place, even if 
  you're far away you can use it to cause “Death” to any NPCs in the area. If you don't come in and collect 
  it again, enemy NPCs called “Strange Brothers” (attributes of 4) will come out. The owner of this item 
  must have a Trauma, or she will gain one upon acquiring it. 
  455 Wedge of Love 
  A mysterious wedge. If you spend 1D6 Favor, you can use it to ignore a Tragedy resulting from a 
  seduction. 
  Notes: Huh? 
  522 Busty Milk 
  As the name implies, this is a special kind of milk that makes breasts grow larger. If you use it, your 
  breasts will grow by two full cup sizes. Breasts enlarged in this manner and do not return to normal. 
  However, upon using it you must replace one of your Made Types with “Sexy” (unless one of them is 
  already Sexy). 
  Notes: Replaced “Busty Milk” with “Fertility Goddess Milk”, for an overall curvier figure. 
  
  8 
   
  524 Maid Souvenir 
  This is a souvenir brought back by a maid who visited the family's main house. Only a maid who has in 
  fact paid a visit to the main house can posses or use it. Also, even if you do acquire this item during a 
  session, you can only use it during the next. If the owner gives this item to someone, whether a PC or 
  NPC, they will die by the end of the session. If it is given as a gift, refusing it requires that you fail an 
  Affection check with a difficulty of 8. 
  552 Three Billy Goats (Pet) 
  These terrifying goats use their horns to charge and maim. However, only the third one actually has such 
  power. If you use this, you can cause an NPC target to die in 3 turns. 
  623 In the Glass 
  This bathroom was apparently made for use by maids. The walls and door are made of glass, and the 
  floor and ceiling are mirrors. The toilet paper and the switch for flushing are located outside the door. 
  Maids who live in a mansion with this bathroom are being trained and honed, and they must use it when 
  they need to relieve themselves. 
  Notes: This is a device which has shown up in Japanese memes (it’s like “tubgirl” in Japan’s message 
  boards), but isn’t in the West, so it doesn’t make any sense. Actually, it sounds like a Jackass (the TV 
  Show/Movie) stunt or something. 
  635 Black Carpet (Pet) 
  This is a swarm of black ants. They appear at the owner's command, and attack the enemy. If the owner 
  attacks an enemy NPC with a weapon, the enemy takes an additional 1D6 Stress, regardless of whether 
  the attack succeeds or fails. 
   
  
  9 
   
  Q & A 
  This is a Q&A included in the first Japanese Maid RPG supplement, Koi Suru Maid RPG. We already 
  integrated the clarifications and corrections in here into the rules, so it was hardly necessary for the 
  English version, but you can read it here for your amusement anyway. 
  Kamiya: 
  Well, we’re just about done, but first I’d like to address some questions people have had 
  about the rules. 
  Hizumi: 
  Yes, it seems people have had a lot of problems. 
  Kamiya: 
  I can of course answer those questions, but I’d rather you didn’t say there were “a lot” of 
  problems. 
  Hizumi: 
  Um… (bad feeling about this) 
  Kamiya: 
  So, Hizumi will provide answers to the most common questions we’ve received. 
  Hizumi: 
  B-But… why me?! Kamiya-sama, these are your rules! Would you please be the one to 
  explain them?! 
  Kamiya: 
  Shut up! You and the others appeared in all of the examples! You have first-hand 
  knowledge of how these things work! Handling a few questions should be no problem for 
  you! 
  Hizumi: 
  Are you sure you’re not just trying to avoid doing work?! 
  Kamiya: 
  Enough! Get to it! Anyway, I’ll leave the rest to you. Explain things as clearly as you can! 
  (dashes away) 
  Hizumi: 
  Wh… How can he run away so fast when he’s in such bad shape? ...Hey! Please, stop! 
  Ohhh… um… Well, everyone… I don’t really want to do this, but I guess I’ll… do my best 
  to answer your questions. 
   
  Q: When do you determine Maid Weapons? 
  A: You went right for that one… It’s in the basic character creation rules, but then in the “Happy 
  Birthday!” scenario it says you don’t need any, and fight scenes in general are a bad thing for that 
  one. So, the maid weapons are kind of… um… Well, think of them as an optional rule. 
  Q: Weapons 22 and 23 are weird. 
  A: Yes. They are weird. Um, sorry about that. They should be as follows:  
  22 
  Machinegun 
  You wield a machinegun. Feel free to decide what kind. 
  23 
  Rifle 
  You wield a rifle. Feel free to decide what kind. 
  Q: The Luck attribute isn’t useful enough. Or, how do I use it? 
  A: You use it when you have no other options. Also, you can use it for things that are decided solely by 
  luck, such as playing poker or rock-paper-scissors, as an opposed action. Let’s see… It isn’t 
  necessarily limited to good luck either. Basically, it’s up to the player to explain when and how it’s 
  appropriate to what attribute, and this includes luck. In my own case, I’d be trying to use Will since 
  it’s my highest attribute.  
  Q: Some maids start with their Favor at 0 because of their starting attributes. What should I do? Do they 
  get taken out of the game? 
  A: Sorry; that’s another error on our part. It should say “if a maid’s Favor goes below zero.” A maid 
  with zero Favor needs to be careful, and can’t spend any Favor points at first, but she can certainly 
  be in the game. 
  
  10 
   
  Q: Can you take more Stress points even in the middle of a Stress Explosion? Also, can you gain Favor 
  during a Stress Explosion? 
  A: Yes. You can take more Stress points during a Stress Explosion, but you can also gain Favor. 
  Q: The Stress Explosion lasts so long and I can’t do anything… 
  A: If you run away from home, you shouldn’t have to worry about whether someone comes looking for 
  you, but… Well, the important thing is that you can’t do anything outside of fulfilling your Stress 
  Explosion. As long as you’re not going against it, you can still make rolls normally and enter combat 
  and such. If it’s really a problem, try to avoid getting into combat in the first place, so you don’t 
  have a Stress Explosion. 
  Q: If a maid starts with her Spirit at 0, does she have a Stress Explosion at the start of the game? 
  A: Spirit isn’t really like, say, Hit Points. You might have been mislead by the character sheet, but this 
  is how much Stress a maid can take and still be unaffected. So, if a maid has 0 Spirit but also 0 
  Stress, nothing happens.  
  Q: What happens if an attribute goes below 0? 
  A: Oh, sorry. That was an omission on our part. 0 is the lowest an attribute can go. If modifiers make it 
  go to -1 or -2, please write down 0 instead. Sorry again. 
  Q: Does the Maid Power “Immune to Pain” only work in physical combat? Or does it apply to any kind 
  of fight? 
  A: It applies to any kind of combat, but a maid with this power can still be sent flying like anyone else. 
  In other words, if she fails at cooking or cleaning, she can still be sent flying into a wall. However, 
  the GM has veto power if things get too far out of hand, and this invulnerability doesn’t apply to 
  Stress taken via the love rules included in the Maid RPG In Love sourcebook. 
  Q: Can the Maid Power “KKD” be used to purposely avoid recovering from Stress? 
  A: No. You have to recover normally. 
  Q: What is “KKD*
                                                   
  * Renamed to “Crisis Adrenaline” in the English version. 
  ” an abbreviation of anyway? Isn’t it too powerful? 
  A: I’d prefer to avoid getting too much into the details, but it’s short for “Kajiba no Kusoryoku” (“brute 
  strength of the scene of a fire”). Please don’t ask how it’s an abbreviation. And sorry; it’s actually 
  supposed to cost 1D6 Favor. The “1 Favor” in the text was an error. That way it shouldn’t be too 
  powerful. I’m really sorry. 
  Q: Is there a limit to how much Favor can be used to boost a die roll? 
  A: No, there isn’t. If you really want to use it all up at once, you can boost all you like. 
  Q: How do cooperative actions work? 
  A: Let’s see… You announce your intention to do things cooperatively, and roll your dice like usual. 
  There aren’t any particular rules per se; rather, the GM looks at all of your die rolls in deciding the 
  outcome. 
  Q: With the Maid Power “Weapon From Nowhere,” how does the surprise attack work? 
  
  11 
   
  A: Sorry, we should have included that. It lets you attack once without the target being able to make an 
  opposed roll. 
  Q: There’s something weird about the “Power of Friendship” Maid Power… 
  A: Yes, you’re right. It should read “you take 1D6 Stress.” 
  Q: Is it okay if I pick my Maid Roots and Stress Explosion myself? 
  A: I don’t really mind, but please ask your GM for permission. 
  Q: Is it wrong to play in a maid costume? 
  A: What? Uh… Um… The rules don’t really say anything about the players’ apparel. It should be fine, 
  I suppose. (rolls eyes) 
  
SOURCE: textdata/thevault/Maid RPG/Maid - (Nun Approved).pdf