TEXT: 1
  
  2
  All art, cartography, writing, and
  skullduggery by the craven Claytonian
  You can find me on many social sites by that name, or
  by Claytonian JP (the JP is for Japan!) on google plus,
  where all good RPGers reside. Contact me at Claytoni­
  an@gmail.com if you have nice words for me. My RPG
  company is named Kill It With Fire, and so is my blog.
  DCC RPG is copyright © 2012 Goodman Games.
  Dungeon Crawl Classics is a trademark of Goodman
  Games. DCC RPG is published under the Open Game
  License. Refer to the OGL in this work for additional in­
  formation.
  Playtesters included:
  The termagant Trent B as Oakley
  The nefarious Nick B as Preggers
  The constant Kevin H as Numerous
  The jocular John da SP as Running Sanjive
  The nitpicky Nate as Father­daughter
  The other Nick as father Clark
  The pretty Pete as Emory & Enkiresh
  The rowdy Robbie as Titanius
  The scallywag Scott as Orgus's suplex
  The mirthful Matt R as Backup­head
  How to play this module
  This module is meant to be fairly simple to play.
  Reading the addendum will give you some back­story,
  random monster stats, and ideas for what is going on. It
  is not necessary to memorize anything in that section,
  but reading it once or twice should help the judge to
  improvise without flipping away from the keyed map
  section too often. That was the design goal; a map with
  room keys that describe almost everything you need. If
  one ignored random monsters, they could even run the
  module with just the keyed map.
  The back-story:
  Apemen stole two children from the village. The village
  is wherever you need it, but probably close to the
  mountains. The players that choose to track the apemen
  will find them holed up in a cave in the mountains.
  There are rumors that one of the caves in the area was
  once the roost of a demon or a wizard or something.
  One of the children is the son of a local elite. The other
  is the daughter of a blacksmith.. Both parents can prob­
  ably be canjoled into offering a reward for their child's
  safe return, but keep in mind forging weapons or armor
  takes time and so will have to be done after the children
  are secured. The clock is ticking on their lives!
  
  3
  The apemen are more­or­less insane, having been given
  ineffable knowledge and brain rewiring by a strange
  obelisk that mysteriously appeared one day. This
  obelisk, which occasionally makes the cave complex
  they call home shudder, is actually an ancient mining
  tool of the long­forgotten Vorbian race, which slumbers
  in the underworld below.
  This cave complex has been occupied by apemen for a
  couple generations, but long before them it was the
  wizardarium of the mad mage Calabraxis. Calabraxis is
  rarely mentioned in records, as he was a clever
  enough wizard to let minions do his deeds for
  him, but his influence on the local lore is
  considerable.
  Tales
  still
  pervade
  the
  countryside
  of
  vampires
  that
  steal
  people's
  heads,
  or
  bogeymen
  that
  kidnap
  people that wander too deep
  into the mountains.
  But Calabraxis disappeared
  ages ago. People still
  occasionally go missing or
  are found as headless
  corpses, but few suspect that
  a wizardarium is sleeping
  under the earth. Other
  things sleep under the earth
  too. Horrible things. But
  where there is danger, there
  is treasure to adventure for!
  Maps Galore!
  Harleye the half­pig halfling (formerly just a halfling before the events of this mod­
  ule) was kind enough to draw us a map. While its a useful reminder of what the
  dungeon looks like from above, perhaps the maps on the next two pages will be a
  bit more useful in the game session.
  
  4
  Map for players and virtual table tops
  
  5
  Map forJudges
  
  6
  1: Guarded Cave Entrance. 6 Advanced Apemen, 5
  apewomen and 3 apekinder are here, as is the body of a
  human boy (starved and abused). A window­hole
  allows ranged attacks on trespassers from on high.
  Primitive bedding, tools, and crafts on the floor.
  Paintings with oddly mathematical patterning on walls.
  An earthquake happens shortly after players enter this
  room, and whenever a 7 is rolled on any die.
  Six Advanced Apemen: Init+1; Atks fists/club +2 melee
  (1d5+ 2, crits knock un­helmed PCs unconscious), or big rock
  +2 ranged (1d6); AC 10; HD 2d6; MV 20’; Act 1d20; SV
  Fort +2, Ref +1, Will +1; AL C.
  Exit 2: Mushroom­obscured Latrine­slide. Can be used
  to go to Hall 9. Ape feces at the bottom.
  Exit 3: Stairs slippery with vibrations, moss, and
  water. DC 5 Ref save vs fall to certain death. Goes to 4.
  4: Vibrating Obelisk room. East side is chasm. West
  wall: paintings, showing worship of the monolith and
  apemen
  attacking
  a
  weaponless
  tribe
  of
  apemen.
  Monolith vibrates whenever there is a lull in game
  action, but definitely just before and after PCs enter.
  Touching with skin induces DC 10 Fort save vs loss of 1
  emotion­concept, such as fear. Saving by two or less is
  still a loss of 1 emotion, but Intelligence goes up by 1d3.
  Saving by 3 or more also nets one 1d3 Intelligence. Save
  is only needed once per PC, but any result gives flashes
  of a strange humanoid species’ civilization as well as
  mining
  knowledge
  and
  mathematics.
  It’s
  all
  too
  abstract/fleeting to be of use. You can consider rolling
  for psionic powers as per the addendum.
  Exit 5: Blocked. The back of this chamber is cut off by
  cave­in debris, but leads to ledge 22 if somehow
  bypassed.
  Exit 6: Ledge. Narrow, but otherwise unremarkable.
  Betwixt cave wall and chasm. Single­file width.
  Secret Door 7: Can be opened by staring with purpose
  at a set of almost worn away eye carvings on the wall.
  Door 8: Ancient banded wooden door is lacking a
  handle (rusted off), swollen and thus stuck, but easy
  enough to kick open (a loud action).
  Hall 9: Runs from the bottom of the latrine slide (where
  apemen­feces are in abundance) to the round chamber.
  Missing girl is hiding down here; traumatized yet
  precocious like Newt in the film Aliens. Has been
  exposed to the Obelisk’s effect.
  10: Round chamber. Vertical scrapes lining walls, and
  the ancient, pulverized remains of a human. Searching
  them reveals a broken dagger, 1d6 gold , and broken/
  rusted thieves tools.
  Door 11: Smooth cobalt. Has left hand silhouette on it.
  If one that can cast arcane magics touches the hand­
  print, the door opens by sliding to the side, and closes
  after a few seconds. Handprint on other side, too.
  Door 12: Ceramic. Has a keyhole. If lock picking is
  attempted, the DC is 15 to open it without incident, and
  10 to make progress but hear an ominous click. In such
  a case, the next DC is only 10 to open the lock safely,
  but failing either check will trigger a fast, falling ceiling
  trap (Ref DC 20 to escape unscathed). Ceiling resets
  itself after a turn. Smashing the door will also activate
  the trap, after which it resets, but the door will be open.
  13: Room with window that has lozenge­shaped
  panes. A dais is in the middle of the room, and boxes
  full of plastic triangles are in the corners. A few
  triangles are already in the panes (each one fills half a
  pane). If someone were to make an animal shape with
  the triangles and then use a supernatural light­source to
  cast a shadow on a humanoid in the room beyond the
  window, that humanoid would change into a strange
  hybrid between its species and the one depicted with
  triangles. The details of what this means for the
  humanoid are up to the game judge.
  14: Hall of animatronic sage statues. 8 statues in two
  rows face each other. They are dressed in the ways of
  various ancient peoples, and have title plaques at their
  feet. They are inanimate now, but a spell check could be
  made to reactivate one (DC 5, failure means berserk
  robot using stats of stone Living Statue from DCC core
  rules page 420). The statues talk about philosophical or
  esoteric subjects.
  The first one to be activated will
  mention inventing the cerebral puzzle­pastime of using
  collections of shapes, called tangrams, to make the
  shapes of animals and other objects. “Smart children of
  the Dawn Court loved it,” concludes the statue proudly.
  It is suggested the judge moves their index finger up
  and down over their lips while talking to give the
  statues a film­reel audio quality.
  15: Skull Shelves. Humanoid skulls in shelves lining
  the walls; some of them half­bestial. Two columns
  covered with runes flank a dais. If deciphered, runes on
  one column are about the concept of asking, and the
  other of answering. If a humanoid skull or head is
  placed on the dais, it can be asked any questions its
  owner would have known the answer to in life, and its
  voice will answer true. Many have horrid stories about
  being abducted or beheaded by bats. The half bestial
  ones vaguely remember being locked to a wall and
  seeing an eerie green light that changed them to
  whatever they became.
  Exit 16: This bridge with large tiles is set above the
  chasm and not supported from below. Pit traps are
  along its length in many spots, but a player can
  probably think of a way to test the path.
  Failure to
  detect a trap triggers a trapdoor (DC 10 Ref to grab a
  ledge in time) if the PC is proceeding. Require two
  checks for thieves that leave their fate up to the dice.
  1d7 Random Encounters in the Wizardarium
  1) Headswapper Bats (4 in 6 chance of looking for a new head,
  otherwise will converse from the dark at party)
  2) Mongrelocks (troglofaunal experiment decendants) (cowardly, yet
  hungry)
  3) Advanced Apemen (territorial/vengeful)
  4) Under­mutants (predetory troglofaunal Vorbian decendants)
  5) A Defrosted Vorbian (Non­hostile, but haughty)
  6) Vision of a ghostly wizard (more eyes growing randomly on his
  person each time) (harmless)
  7) Vision of the ghostly versions PCs themselves! (harmless)
  Monster spoor ideas (see proceedures in addendum)
  Animal­pelt loincloth, primitive doll, desicated ape ear or scalp
  A defective ray gun, a food cube, strange, translucent plastic
  An old, discarded head w/strange tendrils trailing from skin
  Humanoid fecal matter or remains
  Sounds of climbing, flapping, echolocating or gutteral sounds
  
  7
  17:
  Moldering
  Library.
  Most
  books
  deteriorated
  beyond reading, but feel free to seed some tomes and
  maps here. Baxter is here (see appendix). Two books
  look less worn than the rest, as they are actually levers,
  and when fobbed they will open secret doors 7 and 18.
  There is a 2' high grate of copper bars between this
  room and 19 on the west wall.
  Secret door 18: Activated by easternmost shelf’s fob­
  bable* lever. Stays open until shut.
  19:
  Experiment
  chamber/dungeon.
  This
  room
  has
  ancient shackles and bones of unknown, bestial, yet
  humanoid species. Stains everywhere. A window is
  opposite the shackles, and it has panes that intersect to
  make lozenge shapes, but from this room it is a smooth
  surface. A barred grate in the east wall connects with
  area 17.
  20: Ledge/path. Can be jumped to from 7, or 18 also
  leads here. Soon turns into a precarious slope to 21 (DC
  5+ [dmg taken this round] check to traverse).
  21: Hexagonal Vault. An indent is on southeastern face;
  the portcullis two faces down on the southwest can be
  opened by placing a skull in this indent, but the vault
  guardian will politely warn against that. It is tired of
  being bound to this task for eternity, and so will
  suggest the party finds a way to bind it to another
  location via arcane means. It is bound to attack without
  mercy anyone that is in the vault. Vault treasure is
  whatever riches are best for your game as well as a
  skull
  that
  glows
  an
  eerie
  green
  (this
  counts
  as
  supernatural light for13).
  Bound Guardian: Init+3; Atks tentacles +4 melee (1d5+3
  and pinned); AC 16; HD 3d10+4; MV 30’ (fly); Act 3d20;
  SP Invulnerable to mundane attacks. Eyes: At the end of
  each of its turns, the monster’s many eyes shoot laser beams
  and all PCs need to make a DC 10 Ref save or take 4 dmg;
  furthermore, fumbling on such a role indicates a PC’s leg is
  lamed and they can but crawl. It never needs to make morale
  checks; SV Fort +3, Ref +5, Will +2; AL L.
  22: Lower ledge: 20' below 6. Comes within 10’ of 21.
  Progress to 4 via 5 blocked by cave­in rocks.
  23: Broken bridge: Enchantment still holds parts of it
  aloft in the air. Once on the other side, it will be seen
  that there are some steps leading further down, but
  they have worn away. A crate of monocles is here.
  24: Circular bedroom/lab. Door is ajar. Smells strongly
  of copper. Debris, scientific bric­à­brac, a cot, and a fob­
  watch­like thing litter the floor. Ceiling too high/dark
  to be seen by demihuman vision. A while after PCs
  enter, the observer will pounce down, trying to smash
  and gore someone, and a DC 15 Ref save might be
  better than an attack roll in this case. The observer is
  undying and insane. It wants to sup on flesh. The fob­
  watch is a time travel device detailed in the addendum.
  The Observer: Init+4; Atk charge/gore +3 with a d5 deed die
  (1d6+deed die; if deed die is 3 or more the target is
  gored/pinned on a horn); AC 17; HD 5d6+2; MV 40’ (can
  walk on walls/ceiling); Act 2d16; SP Can see and attack time
  travelers; restores itself to full health 10 minutes after it
  drops to 0hp (can’t be killed); SV Fort+3; Ref+3; Will +1;
  AL N.
  *fob: to manipulate
  
  8
  Addendum
  The preceding two pages are most of what is needed to
  run this module, but the following are some helpful
  procedures, details, and back­story for elucidation and
  in­game reference.
  Descriptions
  of
  the
  monsters
  on
  the
  Random
  Encounters Table
  · Headswapper Bats: Sizable, unnatural creatures that
  resemble real bats, save that they have lamprey­like,
  toothy maws where their heads should be, and they
  often have a host head in said neck held by both teeth
  and tendril­like growths. When they attack, this host
  head is discarded and flops to the floor where it will
  start
  to
  asphyxiate.
  Such
  heads
  are
  incapable
  of
  breathing/speech on their own, but if one were to blow
  through their neck stump, maybe they could say a few
  things… If Headswappers hit with a bite attack, and the
  target lacks a gorget* of some sort, they will latch onto
  the target and automatically behead it on the next
  monster initiative. Ripping them off (DC 10 Str) before
  this point does 1 HP’s worth of damage and causes
  sometimes serious bleeding (roll at/under Luck or
  bleed to death). If a Headswapper’s attack fails, it will
  fly
  away
  in
  the
  same
  turn,
  but
  this
  triggers
  a
  withdrawal attack as per the core rules.
  Headswapper bats enjoy using the brains they have
  taken to think, and will converse from the darkness
  with creatures if by chance they are not looking to
  replace their head. Their personality/memories are
  solely that of the host head, save it is completely
  unconcerned
  about
  its
  own
  evil
  and
  unnatural
  existence. If a PC says something clever in earshot of a
  Headswapper, the headswapper will decide a swap is
  in order. Headswappers are also partial to the heads of
  any present mutants, demihumans, Vorbians, or freaks.
  Headswapper bats were once used by Calabraxis to
  collect humanoid heads from the area so that he could
  use them in experiments.
  Headswapper Bat: Init+1; Atk neck­bite +4 melee (1d5
  and adheres to neck [see above]); AC 14; HD 2d8; MV
  40’ (fly); Act 1d20; SV Fort +0, Ref+3, Will +1; AL N.
  · Mongrelocks: A mishmash of bestial features in a
  smallish humanoid package. Echolocation is one trait
  that has thrived among their kind, and their eyes have
  atrophied away. The creatures from which mongrelocks
  descend
  were
  hapless
  humanoids
  kidnapped
  and
  changed by Calabraxis. Calabraxis made what he called
  “the hybrids” using the window in room 13 and the
  skull in room 21. Many of them escaped or were even
  set free to wander the underworld that lies in the
  caverns below the wizardarium, and their warped traits
  were passed on to their descendants, who were further
  mutated by the strange radiations of below.
  Mongrelocks have unpredictable stats (though you may
  want
  to
  roll
  for
  them
  as
  a
  group
  rather
  than
  individually to simplify things), and use psionics.
  Mongrelock: Init­1; Atks claws +2 melee (1d6 and may
  auto­pin target); AC 9+1d4; HD 1d3’s worth of d8s;
  MV 25’ (climb); Act 1d20; SP Psionics (see below); SV
  Fort +1d3, Ref +1d5, Will +1d6 (set them all to +2 if
  you can’t be bothered); AL N.
  Psionics: Each round, target a number of PC’s equal to
  the Mongrelock's hit dice. Each one has to save vs a DC
  of 8+the Mongrelock’s Will save value or suffer from a
  psionic effect. Possible effects are: Pyrokinesis (save or
  take 1d4 fire damage and be aflame), Shove (save or
  take 1d3 damage and get pinned to a surface for a
  round or pushed off a ledge), Mind­blast (save or spend
  next round gripping head in pain). Judges can make up
  more.
  Pregenerated Mongrelock stats are in the back.
  · Apemen (advanced): More evolved than the usual
  varieties found in this area. Lately they have stumbled
  upon the Vorbian mining machine (room 2) and have
  uplifted themselves to a new level of cunning. They
  worship
  the
  machine
  and
  its
  transmissions
  of
  mechanical
  knowledge,
  but
  they
  do
  not
  truly
  understand
  it.
  Lately
  they
  have
  been
  kidnapping
  children from nearby towns for inscrutable reasons. The
  apemen have also been tattooing themselves and taken
  to killing competing, non­uplifted tribes of apemen,
  and the spoils of war are now adorning them as grim
  trophies along with strange warpaints. They will cook
  and eat fallen foes. The majority of apes are home when
  the module begins, but some are out hunting.
  Advanced Apeman: Init+1; Atks fists/club +2 melee
  (1d5+ 2; crits knock un­helmed PCs unconscious), or
  big rock +2 ranged (1d6); AC 10; HD 2d6; MV 20’; Act
  1d20; SV Fort +2, Ref +1, Will +1; AL C.
  * a discussion with your players about what kind of armor
  they are wearing before the adventure may be a good idea
  Random Encounter Details
  
  9
  · Under­mutants: The descendants of the Vorbians.
  They have neither eyes nor ears, but sense their
  surroundings via an unknown sense. They emit sounds
  that repel mongrelocks, and have carved out a niche in
  the caves much deeper, but recent seismic activity has
  caused a few of them to come to upper levels out of
  curiosity. They can communicate via psionic glyphs,
  but prefer to avoid over­landers and attack when they
  sense an opportunity, as they enjoy any meat they can
  get. They know of true Vorbians, having “seen” their
  stasis pods, but are unaware of their own relationship
  to them. Calabraxis sometimes sent beast men parties
  into the depths to deal with the under­mutants. There is
  a mutual hatred still extant.
  Under­mutant: Init+0; Atk screech +4 to all within 20
  feet (1d4 damage plus deafness for one turn) or claw
  +2 (1d5); AC 12; HD 3d6; MV 35’ (climb); Act 1d20; SV
  Fort +2, Ref +1, Will +3; AL N.
  · Defrosted Vorbians: Are among the few of their kind
  to wake recently from a long, self­imposed torpor that
  started in untold ages past. Vorbians were once the
  subterranean masters of exotic technology, and still
  carry
  some
  things
  of
  such
  description,
  including
  batteries that will be useful for any robots the party
  may encounter in their journeys. They are not overtly
  dangerous, and are curious to know what is happening
  on the surface of the world. They will inquire about the
  status of the L'mur­Kathulos Enervation,the Bethmoora
  brigade, and the Parasites of Yian, but will not deign to
  give details of these ancient concerns. As they are
  haughty and consider themselves superior beings, the
  PCs will probably find an excuse to fight them.
  Should a humanoid attempt to use a Vorbian weapon,
  they will feel a strange tingle and unknowingly start to
  turn into a Vorbian. It’s a clever security measure. Over
  the
  course
  of
  1d3
  hours,
  they
  will
  slowly
  and
  irrevocably change into a haughty NPC. Kindly Judges
  might allow a save to prevent this.
  Vorbian: Init+2; Atks laser whip +3 (1d5 and pinned
  for next turn as a band of lasers constricts target) and
  energy gun +2 ranged (1d7 damage and suspended for
  a turn in mid­air [a slow free­fall], but otherwise free
  to act); AC 15; HD 5d5; MV 30’; Act 2d24; SV Fort +1,
  Ref +1, Will +3; AL L.
  · Vision of a time­shifted wizard: The wizard Calabraxis
  himself. He is, ultimately, an amoral fiend that was lost
  somewhere in the mists of history. At some point,
  around 700 years past, he developed the time travel
  device found in Room 12, but he was developing ways
  (and literal eyes) to see into the past before then. He
  was a horribly mutated thing shortly before whatever
  records locals kept of him noted his absence. His fate is
  unknown. The visions of him—which are but faint and
  ghostly glimpses—are not able to harm the characters
  in any way. The PCs could find mentions of themselves
  in his journals regardless of if his result is rolled in the
  encounters. He saw the PCs coming long ago.
  · Vision of the time­shifted PCs: Since the future is
  irrelevant to the past, feel free to have the PCs looking
  battered or conspicuously missing members, limbs,
  eyes, etc. They will have the pendant from room 12. In
  any case, this is just a brief and ghostly vision of the
  group’s PCs and one that is not subject to the whims of
  how the session actually goes. Fate is not set in stone.
  1) Roll 2d6 for about every turn or most areas.
  •If the numbers match : Up to that number of
  monsters will be generated in a logical place using
  the table (5 & 6 on the table are singular things).
  •Adjacent numbers (for instance, a 4 and a 5):
  Monster “spoor” is found. Roll for a monster on the
  table then choose an appropriate sign that it is
  around using the spoor on the bottom of the table.
  •First time dice aren’t adjacent but total 7: consider
  having a wandering power come by, such as a god
  from Judges Guild’s Unknown Gods or the free
  OSR publication Petty Gods. Reaction roll time!
  2) If a PC or the group does something loud, including
  engaging in combat, shouting, or busting down a door,
  after they finish the activity, give one or more dice to
  them to roll while you roll your 2d6 as above. Any
  matches among the pool could spell an encounter for
  the reckless party. Busting down a door takes about a
  turn with the proper gear.
  Procedure for Random Encounters:
  
  10
  The fob­watch­like pendant in room 24 is a powerful
  item. Here are a few details and rules you may wish to
  use with it and “shifted” characters. Do what’s fun for
  your game.
  There are 6 bands of numerals that encircle increasingly
  smaller rings. Each one is matched to clock hand­like
  indicator. The hands manipulate centuries (9 numerals),
  years (99), months (12), days (10), hours (24), and
  minutes (60).
  •Time travel is in a strictly observatory capacity. The
  time travelers are as ephemeral as shades in the past or
  future, and they cannot affect nor be affected by
  anything, though matter does get in their way. Anyone
  who is touching the person to fob the top button of the
  pendant travels with them. Time travelers perceive
  other times through a deep­blue spectrum. We took to
  calling it “the blue­shift” during play­testing. Sounds
  also echo in a ghostly manner when time traveling.
  •Fobbing the top button both initiates and ends time
  travel. No matter the time traveled to, nor the duration
  after activation, when the top fob is pressed and the
  pendant is reset, it always brings all time travelers back
  exactly 11 minutes from where they left off, and in the­
  original departure spot.
  •Travel backward or forward in time is possible. The
  maximum distance in time one can travel is 999 years.
  The minimum is one minute. Traveling into the future
  feels “wrong,” which is a clue to the players that it
  increases the risk of mishaps ten­fold (see below).
  •While shifted, passage through anything more solid
  than paper is not possible. There is a chance one could
  get stuck while time traveling. For instance, being
  under
  a
  rock­slide
  would
  render
  one
  as
  clipped
  through matter and unable to move. If one can’t fob the
  pendant to reset it, they will be stuck for eons in an
  unaging state and go quite mad.
  •Biological functions are primarily in stasis for the
  duration. This of course violates some thermodynamic
  principles, but hey, time travel. So neither eating nor
  breathing is necessary. And you can't die, barring time­
  predators.
  •With a few exceptions, no beings from the traveled­to
  time will able to sense shifted travelers in their midst.
  Sure, a psychic may notice them, and a god would
  probably
  smell
  them,
  but
  the
  time
  travelers
  are
  inaudible,
  intangible,
  invisible
  shades.
  Changes
  brought about by someone somehow noticing a time
  traveler will be dealt with by the judge as they see fit.
  Butterfly effects or unchanging rivers of temporality;
  it’s up to you!
  •There is a cumulative 1% (or 10 times that if traveling
  into the future) chance that each time the pendant is
  used, a mishap occurs. This property is not detectable
  by normal means.
  1d12 Time Travel mishaps:
  1. The Hounds of Time catch the user(s)’s scent.
  Time Hound: Init+3; Atk proboscis suck +5 melee or
  10' ranged (1d4+5 dmg and target is stunned for a
  round and ages 5d4 years); AC 13; HD 10d7; MV 40’;
  Act 1d20; SP can track and follow through space and
  time, using any angle of ≤120° as a gateway (smoke
  will proceed their arrival); SV Fort +2, Ref +3, Will +1;
  AL N.
  2. All would­be time travelers don’t travel, but age as
  much as the duration of their travel is set to go
  through time. Death by old age possible.
  3. All time travelers actually travel to the set time
  (they are not shades, and the pendant will not take
  them to 11 minutes after they left if fobbed again as
  it is now set to the time they end up in).
  4. The return happens not 11 minutes after departure,
  but 11 (roll a d3) days, months, or years later than
  usual.
  5. All time travellers switch to a different timeline,
  where their doubles already exist. Remember that
  one time the party made that momentous decision?
  It was different in this world…
  6. A bubble of time erupts round the party, and they
  will actually be in the designated time, but one
  hex’s travel will bring one back to the real time line.
  That which leaves the hex cannot get back in.
  7. Travellers are sent to the plane of time, an endless
  series of parallel time channels flowing for eternity.
  Check for time­based monsters such as the ones in
  this list (1, 8, 9, 12).
  8. No travel. An entropy champion is loosed.
  Determine its current disposition towards the
  players and use some randomising from the DCC
  rules book to make a unique, tough monster.
  9. A stasis champion is loosed and in the same time­
  shifted state as the PCs, for now. Describe the
  appearance of a crystalline humanoid with 1d10HD.
  Each round, all antagonistic creatures in its presence
  must save (Fort 10) or freeze in time forever.
  10. A previously defeated major foe and/or enemy is
  plucked from the past, hale and hearty.
  11. Travel fails. Fobber (alone) ages 1d5x1d5 years.
  12. An 8­legged Time Lizard wants to eat the party’s
  chronotons (which is fatal).
  Time Lizard: Init: Acts first and 3rd in a round (action
  die resets). Atk claws +3 (all melee­range targets)
  (1d5+3 dmg); AC 17; HD 4d12; MV 35’; Act 1d20
  [twice]; SP Time Loop, Time Anchor;
  SV Fort +3; Ref+3; Will +0; AL N.
  Time Loop: At the beginning of each present creature’s round, they
  must make a DC 15 Will save or repeat their actions (rolls are not
  rerolled) from last round, including movements (they teleport to
  where they started last round, then retrace their steps). The time
  lizard, if in a position where it would be possible, is only hit by
  attacks that previously hit it 10% of the time (it learns quickly), and
  attacks that missed it will automatically miss this time. Previously
  expended resources (such as potions and scrolls) remain expended.
  Magic users that fumbled a spell will find themselves fumbling it
  again and invoking new fumble results that stack with old ones.
  Time Anchor: Time travel doesn’t work near a time lizard. This
  includes fobbing the pendant.
  Time Travel
  
  11
  Baxter is an intelligent magical weapon; a book with a
  spine that extends far beyond its cover and makes a
  handle. Baxter’s pages, when wielded with intent
  (gripping the handle and swinging), will cut as keenly
  as any ax. Baxter has been alone in the moldering
  library for hundreds of years. It can crawl slowly on its
  own, but most of the books it enjoys perusing have
  rotted away. Baxter is pretty friendly, conversant, and is
  interested in trading its time for access to new books. It
  will likely find a way to disappear if its wielder is not a
  man of letters.
  Baxter has the following powers (which it uses as it sees
  fit):
  • If Baxter respects his wielder, he counts as a trained
  weapon for them.
  • Cannibalize scroll: When used to land a critical hit,
  Baxter (not the PC) may choose to access the powers of
  any spell scroll its wielder is carrying and apply its
  attack roll as a spell check to use the spell therein. The
  scroll is consumed by this.
  •
  Cannibalize
  page:
  Similar
  to
  the
  above,
  Baxter
  sacrifices some pages from its wielder's spellbook and
  knowledge of that spell is lost (though the owner can
  try to transcribe it if they have it memorized).
  • Favored enemy, vermin: Baxter’s wielder rolls an
  extra attack action die verses vermin. “They eat books!”
  Baxter is a bit senile, but more or less recalls the
  following:
  “I’m pretty sure Calabraxis made me. Or found me. Maybe
  the latter. He had a thing for eyes and I don’t have eyes.
  Do you have a book I could feel?”
  “This place has been pretty dull for years. Occasionally an
  under­mutant or the like will come in for a visit, but they
  don’t read. All I have to talk to are the bats, and they’re
  smart, but boring. Simulated intelligence, them. Are you
  smart?”
  “Calabraxis disappeared. He sounded very wheezy for
  some reason. Felt horrible to touch. I acted boring so he
  would stop creeping me out. Hey, you like books?”
  1) It’s literally a habitat where wizards are kept.
  2) Local hunters have found other apemen tribes that
  were wiped out.
  3) You may think you are smart enough to pick that
  one lock, but no one ever has been yet.
  4) Only those without a soul can enter the room of
  statues.
  5) There was once a beautiful white woman known to
  inhabit the area; she was a witch or a fey of some
  sort.
  6) If you should meet Calabraxis in your adventures,
  offer him salt.
  7) Shades of the dead wander the underworld that
  the cave leads to. The dead may talk, but they
  always lie.
  8) A race of vampiric men inhabits the caves.
  9) The apemen are servants of Horthor, the white ape.
  10) Several generations back, someone explored the
  caves and their headless body was recovered just a
  few steps within.
  11) The coils of Þorbulagan, The World Serpent, can
  be glimpsed in the cave depths. Offer blood to the
  chasm and you will get answer to any question.
  12) Someone thinks that the party has already gone to
  the cave. They swear they saw the PCs set off!
  Baxter the Jolly Book-ax
  1d12 Rumors Concerning the Wizardarium
  that locals might give to PCs over an ale:
  
  12
  The mining tool went active recently after a
  long period of dormancy. It, like much of Vorbian
  technology (see their weapons in the monster entry),
  programs users with information to help them use it
  accurately. But if the user is not a Vorbian, the
  technological
  information
  is
  not
  appropriately
  absorbed, and the brain is rewired a bit in a pseudo­
  Vorbian manner. Thus, the check to see if there are psy­
  chophysiological changes upon touching the monolith.
  To make things even more interesting, the
  Judge may decide to throw psionics in the mix.
  Regardless of the result they rolled for their save upon
  touching the monolith, have the player total their Int,
  Per, and Luck scores, then roll percentile dice. If the
  dice roll a result equal to or under that total, give them
  a psionic power. There follows one power in this
  module, but the author would like to extend a special
  offer to purchasers of this work who need another: You
  can write an email and include your order no. as proof
  of purchase to get a play­test version of a psionic power
  for a DCC psionics supplement I am working on. I’d
  love it if you gave me feedback (especially questions
  about things that don’t seem to make sense) after that at
  claytonian@gmail.com, but in any case, I hope this is a
  fun way to inject psionics into your game.
  To activate a power, roll under the ability score
  listed in the description. If the activation fails, you can
  burn Int or Per points to make up the difference and
  make it successful after all (this is Mindburn). Such
  sacrificed points regenerate as per usual ability score
  rules on page 94 of the core rules.
  If the Judge deems it necessary, any targets
  may get a save that would be of an appropriate
  category.
  The duration of a power is, unless listed otherwise, in
  rounds equal to your manifester level (ML), which is
  your ability mod+level (min 1, max 10). You can
  effectively raise your ML for one instance of a power by
  burning Int or Per (this is also Mindburn), but this way
  is risky; if you fumble you lose one of those burned
  points permanently.
  If you roll a 1, that is really good, and there
  might be additional effects. If your roll a 20, that is
  really bad, and there might be bad things happening.
  No mindburing your way out of a twenty!
  Sample Power: Defenestration
  You rip open a dimensional window behind a target
  through which it, and any creatures or items it has a
  hold of, is sucked to an interesting, though temporary,
  fate. Results are below:
  STR Check Success: You may send a target to a
  destination of your manifester level or lower, as
  detailed in below. This pulls them out of play for a
  round as well, after which the dimension you have
  shunted them to spits them back out. Destinations:
  · Manifester Level 1 Location: The Pleasure Gardens of
  Aramanthea
  Effect: Target comes back in euphoria. +1d7 to Per/reaction
  checks on it to negotiate a truce.
  · ML 2 Location: The Paradox Caves of Carniflex 10.002
  Effect: The target comes back confused by the mysteries it
  has seen (­2d action dice and ­1d to Will saves on its next
  turn).
  · ML 3: The Shadow Realm of Pharthos Vule
  Effect: 1d8 cold damage, and target's own shadow attempts
  to attack it next round as a Shadow from the DCC core
  rules.
  · ML 4: The Guts of Sophar the Drifting Star God
  Effect: The target is reduced to a mindless, hungry 10 HD
  protoplasm (ooze monster) for 1d3 rounds. Its criticals
  turn creatures that don’t save into oozes like itself, only
  permanently.
  · ML 5: The Rubiform Complex
  Effect: The target takes 1d6 damage each round until it
  happens to roll a 6 on any die, as its dimensions are
  twisted in random directions. Its AC goes up by 4 during
  this time.
  · ML 6: The Chaotic Piping Streets of Carcosa
  Effect: The target comes back deaf and insane for 10
  minutes. It is too insane to proactively attack for that time,
  but creatures that approach it will be tackled furiously.
  There is a 1 in 5 chance that the target is now actually full
  of imps, which burst out upon death.
  · ML 7: The Ovens of Careful Damnation
  Effect: Target takes 3d5 fire damage and is on supernatural
  fire (DC 10 Will save to suppress and extinguish). Those
  that approach it while it's enflamed take 1d5 fire damage.
  The target has an effective personality score of 18 while
  the fire yet burns.
  · ML 8: The Bone Hoard of Klassha the lich­dragon
  Effect: Target is pierced by several long, humming bones
  for 1d6 damage, and must make a DC 10 Fort save or
  ossify. Klassha will soon be along to see if any of its
  treasure is missing.
  · ML 9: The Halls of Borvognil
  Effect: Target comes back with a ­1HD (minimum one HD)
  clone of their self. The clone tries to kill the target.
  · ML 10: The Infinity Crux
  Effect: Target takes 2d24 damage. If this kills it, it dissipates
  into 3 entities of the judge's description.
  Failure on your check to use this power: Take 1
  Stamina damage. The judge decides whether and how
  creatures can perceive that you were trying to use this
  power.
  Roll 1 ( a good thing!) on your check: Instead, target
  1d3+1 creatures with this power.
  Roll 20 (bad stuff!) on your check: Roll 1d6. (1) You
  release a horror from another dimension onto the
  battlefield; (2) Success, but your window does not close
  for 10 minutes, and everyone within 30 feet of it must
  make DC 10 Str saves each round to avoid being sucked
  in and trapped; (3) You pull everyone within 20 feet
  into a dimension that of is the judge’s creation; (4) You
  incur the wrath of a race of beings that abhor the
  opening of windows between worlds, and 1d4 of them
  appear (5) You crack the walls between worlds and 1d6
  doubles of the target come to its aid for 1d3 rounds; (6)
  DC 10 Will save or you are replaced with an alternate­
  reality version of yourself that has a different alignment
  and equipment.
  (
  )
  Monolith
  Vorbian Mining Tool
  How psionics work
  
  13
  When one loses an emotional concept due to brain
  rewiring, it becomes like a foreign concept to them.
  They may come to academically understand it, but they
  will never be able to feel it. It is analogous to how
  certain kinds of autism may deny a person to feel an
  emotional response to the emotions of others; they may,
  with time and practice, be able to guess what the other
  person is expressing with their facial muscles, but it is a
  rather removed concept. That being said, the hope of
  the author is that you will find fun role­playing
  opportunities from losing an emotion.
  Possible emotions one might lose are: ambition, fear,
  empathy,
  justice,
  bravery,
  honor,
  style,
  hygiene,
  helpfulness, social standing, and more.
  What is it? Something from outside our world, given a
  mercurial form of psuedo­matter. It cannot be harmed
  by
  normal
  means.
  It
  is
  unfaltering
  and
  uncompromising
  in
  its
  duty.
  Except
  it
  is
  bored.
  Existence on this plane is insult enough, but the
  guardian has been more or less alone in a room for
  hundreds of years. It craves the promise of change, and
  so it will propose to any party of PCs, through sibilant,
  simulated mouth­orifices, to bind it to something else.
  The players should make their own plans and do their
  own research in order to summon/bind an underworld
  guardian to a new location. If their actions culminate in
  a ritual that the Judge wants a roll for, they can receive
  a bigger or higher die for their spell check based on
  how well they seem to have thought the ritual out. Did
  they prepare a spell circle? Did they make sacrifices?
  Did they find the Guardian’s secret name? These could
  all help their roll.
  The Vorbian Agenda
  What do the Vorbians want? Are they a threat? You
  decide! Decide all the things! With Vorb­libs.
  The Vorbians are unknown to recent scholarship, but
  ancient
  tablets
  located
  in/at
  ___________________
  might hold some information about them, or so the
  party wizards’ research shows.
  Vorbians are ancient enemies of the _______________,
  and maybe that mutual hatred could be exploited, or
  maybe it would raze this world if the two clash.
  Vorbians have locked away the ____________, which is
  a
  powerful
  artifact
  with
  the
  power
  to
  _________________________________________.
  The
  god/patron
  ______________
  is
  very
  interested in getting ahold of it.
  Vorbians have turned their attention to
  the surface world once more. They will
  soon begin coming to the surface
  world to (choose one): Enslave,
  replace, convert, rule, lead,
  guide, torture
  Playtesting Fun
  Some PCs encountered an affable headswapper
  bat at one point. In my efforts as a Judge to give a
  lilting, breathless voice to the head it currently had, I
  ended up sounding a lot like Christopher Walken.
  The same bat at some point lost its head to a PC
  ax (Baxter, actually) and someone picked it up to note
  that it was still alive. The brave (insane) PC then
  wounded their own neck and put the head atop the
  wound. As any good judge would, I ruled that the new
  head merged with the PC’s body, and dutifully rolled
  to find this head’s class was that of wizard.
  One group of players liked chatting with the
  polite but firm vault guardian. They took its advice to
  seek a nice library for it to be relocated to with a ritual,
  but never got around to pulling the ritual off. So they
  never got the treasure.
  One player set up the triangles in the window
  room to the shape of a bear. They then got on the other
  side and lifted their arms and splayed their legs in a
  pose akin to ecstasy.
  Unfortunately, the magical light
  condition was not fulfilled, so they looked rather
  foolish.
  Another group bound the guardian to the tor­
  ture chamber and then transformed it into a humanoid
  shape thanks to the window. It got vengeful and they
  were forced to smash it with a thrown rock at the ceil­
  ing trap's trigger in a broken door.
  At one point we realized a crate was next to the
  final room. I hadn’t planned for anything to be in it (it’s
  just for helping short scouts to look through the win­
  dow), but when one of the players looked inside they
  discovered lots of monocles.
  Loss of emotions to the monolith
  The Vault Guardian
  
  14
  The players might be able to see some of the below
  events mentioned in a journal if they time travel to the
  library 300 years or more in the past and it happens to
  be open, but in any case, this is for the Judge to have a
  consistent timeline for players to observe first­hand.
  999 BC (Before Campaign): A Vorbian awakes from
  torpor and establishes a simple base in the caves.
  995: The Vorbian is overpowered by a tribe of
  nomadic peoples. Among them is a young man,
  Calabraxis,
  who
  is
  affected
  profoundly
  by
  interacting with a Vorbian scrying machine.
  974: Calabraxis, now a quite mad, fledgling wizard,
  binds a boy in the caves, and performs a ritual that
  ends with the boy’s eyes plucked out. Calabraxis
  gains answers to his enquiries about eternal life
  from a voice in the depths.
  973­920: Calabraxis absent from the caves, due to
  questing for eternal life and arcane secrets.
  919: Calabraxis returns with dwarven laborers to
  carve out a more appropriate section of caves and
  establish a true wizardarium.
  The hall of wise
  animatronic figures is made, as are the round room
  trap and the library. Other rooms have mundane
  uses at this point. He uses magic to make a couple
  bridges, but these will not stand up to the ravages of
  time…
  918­700: Calabraxis terrorises the countryside with
  his creations, the headswapper bats. The skull room
  is slowly built up over this time.
  650: Calabraxis turns his efforts to building the
  special window that transforms subjects. He starts
  to seed the mountains with traps that catch men for
  experimentation fodder.
  645: Calabraxis invents the time travel device.
  639: Calabraxis binds the guardian to his vault.
  620: Calabraxis imitates the guardian’s shape with
  the window on himself to gain the first of many
  eyes.
  600: Baxter is “forged”.
  400: Under­mutants start to attack the wizardarium,
  and Calabraxis engineers smart beast­men to fight
  them in the depths. He makes further modifications
  to his own body to become tougher and stronger.
  329: Last sighting/record of Calabraxis. He appears
  in a town nearby the caves, heavily cloaked and
  shambling with an odd gate. He buys supplies with
  ancient coins and curses a few people that get in his
  way. One person is driven mad by glimpsing what
  lies under his cloaks.
  300: Calabraxis’s man­catcher traps stop being reset.
  His
  legend
  lives
  on
  through
  the
  occasional
  beheading of someone by one of his bats and the
  nightmares
  of
  children.
  Local
  apemen
  start
  to
  inhabit the wizardarium, as well as nearby caves
  and groves.
  100: Bridges between the vault and the lower path
  (22) and final room (24) crumble, though a few
  rocks remain suspended in 23.
  30: Gorn, a thief, activates the ceiling trap. Smooshed.
  A few months before campaign: The monolith, a
  Vorbian mining tool, is somehow reactivated and it
  digs
  its
  way
  to
  the
  wizardarium.
  It’s
  touch
  profoundly affects the apemen residing in the
  wizardarium.
  Appendix N
  The media below are worth consuming to give you
  ideas for how to run this module or appreciate its refer­
  ences
  2001: A Space Odyssey, by Arthur C. Clarke, 1968.
  For monoliths making apemen crazy/clever.
  The Descent, Celador Films, 2005. For Troglofaunal
  humanoids.
  The Double Shadow, by Clark Ashton Smith, 1933.
  For the concept of time traveling shades.
  The God that Crawls, by James Raggi IV, 2012. For
  showing how a couple crazy items can really make
  an adventure shine.
  The Hounds of Tindalos, by Frank Belknap Long,
  1929. Never trust an angle just because its acute.
  Lightning, by Dean Koontz. 1998. For time travel
  mechanics.
  Red
  Dwarf
  episodes
  “Polymorph,”
  1989,
  and
  “Emohawk: Polymorph II,” 1993. Required viewing
  for how entertaining emotion loss can be.
  Thief the Dark Project, Looking Glass Studios, 1998.
  For adding the verb fob to my vocabulary indir­
  ectly. The next module I make will have "taffer,"
  too.
  Unknown
  Dungeon
  (Castle
  Grayhawk?)
  that Gary Gygax was
  photographed
  running towards the
  end of his life. It had a
  dungeon on the right
  page and a key on the
  left page. That was
  one
  of
  the
  major
  inspirations
  for
  this
  module’s
  approach.
  More info available at:
  http://randomwizard.blogspot.j
  p/2013/07/two­levels­of­real­
  castle­greyhawk.html
  A time hound teaches Gorg the pitfalls of
  sleeping so close to a sharp angle
  A timeline for the Wizardarium
  
  15
  1)
  Harlistroe:
  Init­1; Atks claws +2 melee (1d6 and may
  auto­pin target); AC 13; HD 2d8; MV 25’
  (climb); Act 1d20; SP Psionics; SV Fort +1, Ref
  +3, Will +3
  Power: Confused Rage Inducement
  2)
  Gudmin'gumns:
  Init­1; Atks claws +2 melee (1d6 and may
  auto­pin target); AC 13; HD 1d8; MV 25’
  (climb); Act 1d20; SP Psionics; SV Fort+2 , Ref
  +5, Will +1
  Power: X­ray Vision Overstimulation
  3)
  Stohnhael:
  Init­1; Atks claws +2 melee (1d6 and may
  auto­pin target); AC 12; HD 2d8; MV 25’
  (climb); Act 1d20; SP Psionics; SV Fort +2, Ref
  +4, Will +1
  Power: Matriarchal Guilt­trip
  4)
  Rahndy:
  Init­1; Atks claws +2 melee (1d6 and may
  auto­pin target); AC 10; HD 2d8; MV 25’
  (climb); Act 1d20; SP Psionics; SV Fort +3, Ref
  +2, Will +3
  Power: Despair Pose
  5)
  Sarah Jessica Parker:
  Init­1; Atks claws +2 melee (1d6 and may
  auto­pin target); AC 11; HD 3d8; MV 25’
  (climb); Act 1d20; SP Psionics; SV Fort +2, Ref
  +3, Will +5
  Power: Horsehead Madness
  6)
  Motrundl:
  Init­1; Atks claws +2 melee (1d6 and may
  auto­pin target); AC 12; HD 1d8; MV 25’
  (climb); Act 1d20; SP Psionics; SV Fort +3, Ref
  +3, Will +1
  Power: Alignment Babel
  7)
  Jacmacnami:
  Init­1; Atks claws +2 melee (1d6 and may
  auto­pin target); AC 10; HD 3d8; MV 25’
  (climb); Act 1d20; SP Psionics; SV Fort +1, Ref
  +3, Will +6
  Power: Hysterical Blindness
  8)
  Raggheee:
  Init­1; Atks claws +2 melee (1d6 and may
  auto­pin target); AC 13; HD 3d8; MV 25’
  (climb); Act 1d20; SP Psionics; SV Fort +1, Ref
  +5, Will +6
  Power: Calcium Lattice
  9)
  Ramuhnan:
  Init­1; Atks claws +2 melee (1d6 and may
  auto­pin target); AC 13; HD 1d8; MV 25’
  (climb); Act 1d20; SP Psionics; SV Fort +3, Ref
  +2, Will +5
  Power: ADHD Inebriation
  10)
  Danyellbishp:
  Init­1; Atks claws +2 melee (1d6 and may
  auto­pin target); AC 12; HD 3d8; MV 25’
  (climb); Act 1d20; SP Psionics; SV Fort +2, Ref
  +2, Will +3
  Power: Atomizing Thought
  11)
  KvnHefnan:
  Init­1; Atks claws +2 melee (1d6 and may
  auto­pin target); AC 10; HD 1d8; MV 25’
  (climb); Act 1d20; SP Psionics; SV Fort +3, Ref
  +4, Will +5
  Power: Horrendous Bowel Stirrings
  12)
  Kreyton:
  Init­1; Atks claws +2 melee (1d6 and may
  auto­pin target); AC 13; HD 1d8; MV 25’
  (climb); Act 1d20; SP Psionics; SV Fort +4, Ref
  +4, Will +2
  Power: Babality
  1d12 Random Mongrelocks
  This section is to save you time with mongre­
  locks, in case you don't want to generate them.
  You can give each of them a unique psionic
  power. I added an idea for each one for you to
  flesh out. You could also use that offer from
  the monolith section or create something cool!
  Base mongrelocks are:
  Mongrelock: Init­1; Atks claws +2 melee (1d6
  and may auto­pin target); AC 9+1d4; HD 1d3’s
  worth of d8s; MV 25’ (climb); Act 1d20; SP
  Psionics (see below); SV Fort +1d3, Ref +1d5,
  Will +1d6 (set them all to +2 if you can’t be
  bothered); AL N.
  Psionics: Each round, target a number of PC’s
  equal to the Mongrelock’s hit dice. Each one
  has to save vs a DC of 8+the Mongrelock’s
  Will save value or suffer from a psionic effect.
  Possible effects are:
  Pyrokinesis (save or take 1d4 fire damage and
  be aflame), Shove (save or take 1d3 damage
  and get pinned to a surface for a round or
  pushed off a ledge), Mind­blast (save or spend
  next round gripping head in pain). Judges can
  make up more.
  
  16
  Copyright
  info
  of
  doom: This printing of The Wizardarium of Calabraxis is done
  under version 1.0 of the Open Gaming License, and the System Reference Document by
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  15 COPYRIGHT NOTICE Open Game License v 1.0 Copyright 2000, Wizards of the Coast,
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  System Rules Document Copyright 2000 Wizards of the Coast, Inc.; Authors Jonathan Tweet,
  Monte Cook, Skip Williams, based on original material by E. Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson.
  Calabraxis thanks you for visiting his wizardarium!
  
  17
  Unadulturated map and wandering monster images
  
  18
  The Wizardarium of Calabraxis
  Here's what people are saying about this product!
  "A most droll adventure."
  —a Vorbian
  "Hahhhh! Ahh! Ur."
  —an apeman
  "It reminds me in some ways of B2. Now there was a
  module! Players never experienced the same B2 twice
  due a clever little twist on normal monster stocking. Oh?
  Where are you going? I have lot's more to... oh bother."
  —Baxter the Book­ax
  "Hi there. You seem like a smart group of adventurers.
  Would you like to see who can come up with the
  cleverest riddle?"
  —something hanging from the ceiling
  "Come on, guys! Make me into a mighty wereboar!"
  —Hareleye the halfling
  "I only know what I knew."
  —A floating skull
  "Oh, you don'tsss wantsss to come in here. I'd have to
  cutsss you into ittsssy bitsss. Sssurely we can come to a
  more amicable arrangementsss?"
  —that which talked to us from the vault
  [a scream so loud your eardrums rupture]
  —an under­mutant
  
SOURCE: textdata/thevault/Dungeon Crawl Classics/Modules/Third-Party/The Wizardarium of Calabraxis.compressed.pdf