TEXT: Ascolais
  & 
  the Land of The Falling Wall
  The Excellent Prismatic Spray DOUBLE ISSUE
  An adventure supplement for the Dying Earth RPG 
  VOLUME I NUMBER 4/5 • $24.99/£15.95
  ADVENTURES, BACKGROUND MATERIAL & ADVICE of Supreme Quality, including:
  Vance’s Spell of the Ineffably Prolonged Hour and What It Did To Me: Ed Greenwood on 
  the effect of long exposure to the Dying Earth
  The Den-Phu Cranes: Robin D. Laws sets an opportunity for adventure and advancement in Kaiin
  Efred, City of Sanctuary: David Thomas is your guide to a city and its scenarios
  Forrell’s Port: return to the jewel of Sousanene in company with Lizard
  The Laughing Magician II: an elegant instructional experience courtesy of Steve Dempsey
  The Encroaching Green: a selection of scenarios suitable for almost any occasion
  
  � The Excellent Prismatic Spray �
  Being 
  a 
  Commodious 
  Compendium 
  of 
  erudition, 
  intelligence, 
  advice, 
  narrative 
  and 
  insight 
  of 
  inestimable 
  value 
  to 
  those 
  of a DISCERNING TEMPERAMENT and ADVENTUROUS INCLINATION
  TABLE OF CONTENTS
  Volume 1, Issues 4&5
  Editorial 
  1
  Jim Webster
  From our readers… 
  2
  FEATURES
  Vance’s Spell of the Ineffably Pleasurable Prolonged Hour 
  and What It Did To Me
  4
  Ed Greenwood
  The Den-Phu Cranes
  7
  Robin D. Laws
  The Dying Earth Needs You
  17 
  Lynne Hardy
  A Map of The Known World
  24
  Efred, City of Sanctuary
  26
  David Thomas
  Mermelants Unite!
  40
  Thomas Russell
  ARCANA of Grashpotel
  46 
  Peter Freeman
  The City of Lumarth 
  52
  Ian Thomson
  Forell’s Port
  77 
  Lizard
  Home Brewed Heroes
  85
  Ian Thomson
  The Laughing Magician 
  91
  Steve Dempsey
  The Sculpted Chair 
  109
  Lynne Hardy
  The Luminarion 
  114
  Mark Baker
  Ghosts of the Forgotten Past
  117
  Kurt Brown
  EXOTIC VISTAS & STRANGE ENCOUNTERS: The Encroaching Green
  121
  Lizard & Ian Thomson
  COZENERS’ EXPEDIENTS
  135
  �
  Copyright ©2003 Pelgrane Press Ltd. Based on the Dying Earth book series by Jack Vance. Produced and distributed by agreement with
  Jack Vance c/o Ralph Vicinanza Ltd, New York. The Dying Earth Roleplaying Game, Dying Earth Quick-Start Rules and The Excellent
  Prismatic Spray are trademarks of Pelgrane Press. All rights reserved.
  PRINTED IN THE US • ISBN 0 9539980 2 9
  Publisher: Simon Rogers
  Designer: Sarah Wroot
  Cover Art: Sarah Wroot
  Managing Editor: Jim Webster
  Editors: John Kahane, Anna M. Short
  Art Direction: Sarah Wroot, Simon Rogers
  Interior Art: Dave Bezzina, Dover Books copyright-free
  resources, Marcio Fiorito, Ralph Horsley, Robert Million,
  Derek Stevens, Hilary Wade, Sarah Wroot
  
  1
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  � Editorial �
  I
  t is with an air of more than conscious pride that we bring this combined
  edition of the two magazines to your notice. A double issue allowed us
  to do many things that we otherwise would have been unable to even
  contemplate. By popular demand we have produced a map of the entire
  inhabited area of the Dying Earth. We can make no claims that the map is
  deﬁnitive, or even accurate. It does possess a certain elegance that we feel
  more than makes up for any cartographical irregularities. Finally, we have
  brought you articles by Robin D. Laws and Ed Greenwood, as well as
  work from well-respected regulars, with our ﬁrst major article from Ian
  Tompson.
  This volume of scenarios is merely one of many. Farsighted and mathematically literate individuals may
  subscribe for four issues (including postage) for a mere £35 in the UK, or $56 US and Canada. Those
  from elsewhere please contact Pelgrane Press and we shall calculate as economical a rate as is possible to
  suit your convenience. 
  Those perspicacious individuals who subscribed to The Excellent Prismatic Spray when it ﬁrst appeared
  will doubtless have noted that their subscription has run its course; it is time for them to once more
  pander to their cupidity and resubscribe. We trust that the next year will bring you as much satisfaction as
  the last. As always there are many wonderous, portentous, or even climacteric offers available to
  resubscribers who apply in person at our ofﬁce in Kaiin. Bring at least two maid servants with handcarts.
  Editor: Jim Webster. Page Bank, Rampside, Barrow in Furness, Cumbria UK Tel. 01229 821561
  email: jim@websterpagebank.freeserve.co.uk
  Advertising and Subscriptions: Pelgrane Press, 18–20 Bromells Road, London. SW4 OBG UK
  Tel. 020 7738 8877 email: inbox@dyingearth.com website: http://www.dyingearth.com
  Design & Typesetting: Sarah Wroot, Meadow View, Church Street, Litlington, Cambridgeshire UK SG8 0QB
  THE SCHOLASTICARIUM
  Persons of quality desirous of advancing their education are invited to present themselves to Amserl Bassouc,
  admissions porter and battles overseer during the next few days to enroll in the extension courses on offer. As well
  as the usual array, there will be a series of lectures from persons of note over the coming weeks:
  Perrin: Misfeasance, the inevitable fate of the parvenu
  Mistress Flook: Morbid lasciviousness and dress sense
  Volune: Eonism, frottage and their place in 16th aeon erotology
  Grashpotel: The place of the remueur in oenology
  Myrna the Rootless: ‘Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny’: on the relationship of Hoon and Gid
  Guest Lecturer Parouc the Cartographer: Ferial excursions to the utmost East and what I did there
  It is with some regret that the management notes a distinct lack of initiative among some of its readers. We have had several
  complain that when the articles are read aloud for their pleasure by their hand-maidens, the playing of the minstrel maiden
  drowns out the reading. As a result, if this should continue to be a problem, we have retained the services of Nordob,
  doorman of ‘The Pelgrane’, who will come round and break the ﬁngers of your minstrel maiden.
  
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  2
  From our readers...
  Sir:
  I write to enquire as to the reason
  for the delay in publishing the 4th
  issue of the Excellent Prismatic
  Spray. Desirable as it may be, this
  delay is unconscionable!
  Masmauldetides Cuka
  Gentleman
  The Editor replies:
  It has been something of a
  chapter of incidents. Firstly one of
  our contributors was apprehended
  by the Vigils for incipient
  xenodocheionology. It was only
  rapid and judicious bribery which
  saved him from the deodand pit.
  Two of our typesetters were eaten
  by rare slotted erbs (hitherto
  believed to be extinct, so at least
  scholarship has gained from our
  loss). A third was singing a
  cavatina in her bath when she was
  overheard by a passing
  impressario. She is thought to
  have been kidnapped and I
  believe is now an odalisque
  singing salacious songs for the
  Feathered Princes. At this point
  things started to become complex.
  In a moment of desperation our
  last remaining typesetter drank
  the majority of our stock of ink.
  The remainder went off as it is
  prone to do if kept in quantities
  of less than a gallon. Searching
  for myrtle and gauze difono
  (difﬁcult to obtain, but vital
  ingredients of the best quality
  inks) the copy editor won a
  bordello in Val Ombrio in a
  rigged card game and we have not
  seen him since.
  Yet in spite of these minor
  tribulations we have endeavoured
  to complete our task. Deterred
  neither by the hired bullies of our
  less literate rivals, nor by the
  blandishments of the wealthy who
  feared we might expose their
  prurient peccadilloes we stuck
  grimly to our appointed task and
  are pleased to present this, the
  result, to our readers.
  �
  Sir
  Imbecile, simpleton, and dullard,
  these are but a mere sampling of
  the appellations the so-called
  author Grashpotel so richly
  deserves following the travesty of
  his article “Turgubut’s Fatal
  Statistics”!
  Following the buffoon’s treatise, I
  found myself gripped by a spasm
  of incredulity, much to my (now
  chastened) sandestin’s levity, for
  the vacuous poltroon has made
  the singularly inexplicable error
  of repeating one of Turgubut’s
  own lamentable mistakes! There
  were eight hundred and thirty
  instances of Behemoth’s Bounty
  being incorrectly cast, as
  researched by Turgubut and his
  assistants, not eight hundred and
  thirteen! As any true practitioner
  of the magical arts understands,
  the efforts of Turgubut’s chief
  assistant, Filibous, were wantonly
  omitted by Turgubut following
  some infraction on the part of the
  latter.
  Filibous’ ﬁndings, are as relevant
  as any of Turgubut’s other
  presentations, and are provided
  here in order that your readership
  better comprehend the inherent
  risks in the miscasting of even
  this seemingly innocuous spell:
  Filibous’ Findings: “Among the
  failures … 17 instances: the caster
  found himself trussed up, naked,
  lightly oiled and well-garnished,
  as the center-piece of the feast,
  albeit one thankfully uncooked.”
  In future it is hoped that
  Grashpotel will experience a
  sudden and inexplicable
  blossoming of intellect and
  diligence, lest such oversight
  make him a laughingstock, and
  forever relegate him to the rank
  of mere dabbler.
  Blarsiﬁag
  Provost, Thaumaturical and
  Didactic
  Sir
  I deny –
  First, your argument,
  Second, your existence.
  Iunutharis Grashpotel
  Archmage
  �
  Sirs
  While I am scribing this missive
  to congratulate you on the
  quality of the periodical you and
  your esteemed staff publish, I also
  feel obliged to comment on
  another matter. I am a long-time
  user of the services of Wakdun
  the Panderer’s establishment here
  in the city of Kaiin, and as such
  was pleased to note that you have
  
  an advertisement on your
  “Internet” (whatever that term
  means) site devoted to your
  humble magazine. Yet it is with
  some dismay that I have noted an
  omission on your part that I
  believe requires correction. It
  appears that your “on-line”
  service praises various services
  and items that Wakdun sells (at
  prices he must ﬁnd more than
  adequately remunerative), and yet
  there is no mention of the
  Ertomanic Priapist and Diestrus
  Nulliﬁer. This device has been of
  great service in my household for
  a number of years. 
  Granted that Wakdun does, at
  times, inﬂate his prices on items
  intended to relieve obsolagnium
  or to encourage venery and even
  frottage, the lack of such
  advertising in your esteemed
  publication, print or otherwise, is
  likely to force the price up further
  thus reducing the numbers who
  may beneﬁt from these devices.
  While I appreciate your ﬁne
  publication efforts, I (and several
  other customers of Wakdun’s
  famed establishment) consider the
  omission of the Ertomanic
  Priapist and Diestrus Nulliﬁer to
  be an affront of the ﬁrst degree. I
  wholeheartedly suggest that this
  omission be rectiﬁed at your
  earliest convenience. 
  Your servant and humble patron,
  Gissimo Vereldane
  The Editor replies:
  While I make no claim to
  understanding the mechanisms
  involved, I am informed by
  sundry subordinates that what we
  have done is placed a “link” from
  our “web site” to the “web site”
  of Wakdun the Panderer. Thus
  any oversights would seem to be
  more of his doing than ours. I
  will nonetheless broach this with
  him when I see him next in an
  attempt to ensure your complete
  satisfaction in this matter.
  The same subordinates as
  previously mentioned insist that
  those who may not have realised
  that we have taken advantage of
  what is mockingly known as “the
  new technology” be informed that
  our web site may be found at
  http://www.dyingearth.com/xpson
  line/index.html. 
  Wakdun’s online emporium is
  http://www.dyingearth.com/xpson
  line/XPSO_wakdun.html
  � 
  Sir
  As the authorities appear to
  refuse to interest themselves in
  this matter, I wish to bring to
  your attention a distressing
  situation which has developed as
  a result of sheer greed and lack of
  civic responsibility on the part of
  our current gambling magnates.
  It is now simply impossible to
  walk along the streets of Kaiin
  without being solicited by failed
  gamblers begging for money to
  pay their debts.
  One’s ears are constantly assailed
  by the caterwaulings of
  cantabanks, one’s aesthetic senses
  troubled by the asymmetrical
  features of those proffering carnal
  services (I ask you, should a
  sadogue become a bawd?) and
  one’s intelligence insulted by the
  banality of the “Not available
  elsewhere, never to be repeated”
  offers of advice on runners and
  riders.
  In my father’s day, the minute a
  punter’s liabilities exceeded their
  assets, the gambling magnate
  involved would sell the
  unfortunate fool as an indentured
  labourer to recoup the loss. These
  hapless individuals then laboured
  for the good of their fellow
  citizens, patching roads, stoking
  the furnaces in the new baths,
  and removing any salacious
  abbozzo from the walls of the
  public privies. After forty or so
  years of solid service their debts
  were declared discharged and
  they were allowed their freedom.
  Now, due to the cupidity of the
  gambling magnates who prefer to
  revel in the thin stream of dinkets
  and triﬂes these panhandlers pay
  over, rather than enjoying the
  respect due to municipal
  benefactors, our glorious city is
  falling into decay and her citizens
  are assaulted on all sides by
  dissonance and unpleasantness.
  Dumbfounded of Kaiin
  Address withheld by request
  � 
  Sirs
  Yours seems the appropriate
  publication in which to clarify a
  minor point of geographical
  inexactitude which caused some
  amusement at the Geographer’s
  Caucus last month. Kindly note
  that Sousanene (and by default
  the Sousanese Coast) lies to the
  west of the Songan Sea, rather
  than to the east, as was described
  in the estimable if clearly
  distracted Lizard’s account of the
  Regions of the Sousanene [sic]
  Coast in your last issue. Forrell’s
  Port itself is found in south
  Sousanene, on the shore of the
  well-named Sea of Slow Tides,
  where the fortunate may ﬁnd
  shells of the rare Chaste Glass-
  snail amongst the jetsam.
  Myrna the Rootless
  The Scholasticarium, Kaiin
  3
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  � From our readers… �
  
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  4
  A
  great while ago (or so it seems), I became mighty in magic. To put it
  another way, I learned to read. Whilst still demanding bedtime stories
  be read to me (demonstrably exhibiting the cunning that has marked my
  every venture in the waking world from that moment forth), I was ‘settled
  down with improving and approved books’ for some hours each day—I
  then being still too young to darken the doors of what was then called then
  (and may still be, for all I know) ‘kindergarten’(and may still be, for all I
  know).
  The venue for these quiet yet broadening times was my father’s dim, cool,
  labyrinthine, darkly wood-paneled ‘den.’ It was furnished with a
  formidably upright piano which I was to come to know intimately—but
  not pleasantly—in the years to come, an ancient and sagging hide-a-bed
  couch, several radios of mighty power but largely rough and homemade
  construction (for my father happened to be a physicist specializing in radio
  and radar, already exalted in the secretive ranks of Cold War defenders of
  all Western freedoms), a black-and-white television that could receive
  nothing much in the bowels of the house beyond Indian-head test patterns
  and the frustrating but interesting sounds of shows that were never more
  than dancing squiggles on the screen—and walls upon walls of books. As
  Anthony Powell once wrote, ‘Books Do Furnish A Room.’ My father loved
  books—all sorts of books. He built his own bookshelves, measured
  precisely to ﬁt paperbacks here and hardcovers there, to cram in every last
  possible tome. Crumbling wartime paperbacks (“give one to a friend in
  uniform”), many of them with lurid covers (“she was staked out naked in
  the desert sun to die!”) and complete with “scene of the crime” maps on
  the back jostled for space with Winston Churchill’s complete works and
  the sober four-inch-thick leather-bound proceedings of electrical engineers.
  My very own treasure chest. I would spread out the books I was supposed
  to be perusing, lift a cushion of the chesterﬁeld1 so as to have a swift
  hiding-place, should a family member approach, for the books I wasn’t
  supposed to be devouring,2 and waded right in to all those waiting pages.
  My father, may whatever gods there be bless him, was a fantasy and science ﬁction fan. Right beyond the
  collected Glencannon and a ﬁne sampling of Wodehouse and Kipling’s Stalky & Co, almost hidden in the
  permanent gloom of a corner far from any lamplight, were three nondescript volumes emblazoned with a single,
  staring black-and-red eye: early Unwin hardcovers of The Lord of the Rings, quite possibly the original editions
  of that landmark work.
  Beyond them, in deeper shadows yet, were a handful of mysteries and a slightly greater number of SF books by
  one John Holbrook Vance (or so the mystery covers read) or Jack Vance.3 After an initial wonder-struck pause, I
  Vance’s Spell of the Ineffably Pleasurable Prolonged Hour and
  What It Did To Me
  Ed Greenwood
  1. For so inhabitants of my formative environs referred to what others variously refer to as sofas, couches, or lounges.
  2. For carpets were nigh-continuous, footfalls light, and calling out—or what more vulgar individuals refer to as “yelling” —was a
  weighty sin in that household.
  3. As the SF and fantasy books heralded him—though the scanty and incomplete lists within of ‘other books written by the same
  pen’ conﬁrmed, as if the awesome prose were not enough, that the writers were one and the same.
  To rent: Stone column,
  comfortable top, sunny
  exposure, suitably close to
  devout villagers, very little use.
  Contact Trophander the Stylite
  at Madame Sponcule’s Palace
  of Earthly Delights.
  
  fell into them with a sort of delight. That wonderment was akin to what I had felt a few months earlier, when on
  a lower shelf, I ﬁrst chanced upon the works of Clark Ashton Smith. The language!
  Yet, more than Smith or Dunsany or Lovecraft trying to be Dunsany in Kadath, this new master, whilst every bit
  as exotic as those three, was crafting action writing—people trying to kill or at least nastily best each other
  whilst being terribly polite. Cynically, menacingly polite. Lovely stuff, and then I sank into The Dying Earth and
  The Eyes of the Overworld—and then later into Big Planet and Showboat World, the Demon Princes and Planet
  of Adventure books, and the Alastor series, Maske: Thaery and the later chronicles of the Dying Earth, even unto
  shorter masterpieces such as “The Moon Moth” and “The Bagful of Dreams.” I was plunging into new worlds,
  vivid, real, wonderfully detailed worlds, with nuances and etiquette and odd, yet ﬁtting customs and strange,
  crawling magic. Poetic prose (“Music sings within my brain/I think I may go mad again”), delicious insults and
  come-uppances...I was hooked.
  For me (as for most people, I believe) loving fantasy has always been about exploring new worlds. Peeping
  behind that crumbling castle, ﬁnding out why the princess is weeping, delving into the feuds and secrets and
  lurking magics whilst being enthralled by spectacular, stirring sights such as monsters pouncing, towers toppling,
  wizards hurling fell spells, and heroes and heroines standing fast or seizing triumph. This Vance gentleman (for
  how could he not be a gentleman, to pen the phrases he did?) gave me worlds to explore!
  This is not to say that I stopped opening books with other names on their covers. There were hundreds of
  fantasy and science ﬁction books in my father’s den, and as many again stuffed onto shelves in hallways, in the
  basement, and on landings. I devoured them all, the tripe and the gems, ever hungry for new worlds. Eventually I
  settled (as most readers do) on a dozen or so solid favorites—writers whose new releases I could buy on sight, in
  hardcover, clutch like precious treasures, take home, and devour in a single sitting—and know before I opened
  them that I wasn’t going to be disappointed. Surprised, mayhap; transported, surely...but never disappointed.
  Jack Vance was one of those stalwart few, and for the tales he told me and visions of strange worlds he unfolded
  before me, I can never thank him deeply enough. What price a dream?
  Well, one paltry payment for such pleasure, to my mind, is to add at least one world to the rest, or to add color
  and verve to existing ones, by telling new tales of them. I have done both, but not alone. Jack Vance, Fritz
  Leiber, Roger Zelazny, J.R.R. Tolkien, Lord Dunsany, and a host of others (albeit unwittingly) helped me, as did
  my role-playing group. Early on in my campaign they discovered that I had studded the Realms liberally with
  magical gates that led to “otherwhere” … speciﬁcally, to a lot of other fantasy worlds ﬁrst seen in the works of
  my favorite fantasy writers. If they were bold (or unlucky) enough to venture through such portals, and
  thereafter managed to ﬁgure out which world they’d arrived in, it might well befall that they could proﬁt from
  what they knew of it, sometimes gaining just what they needed to prevail against foes back in the Realms … and
  at the same time cut loose and have fun in a place that was different from the Realms.
  One such ‘other place’ was a setting that was really the Dying Earth—but recast to sport the myriad jumbled
  islets of Trullion: Alastor 2262, and the city-studded river of Showboat World. Many inhabitants of those cities
  wore masks and accompanied their every utterance on curious musical instruments, like the characters in “The
  Moon Moth.” Others were rogues like Cugel or arch-magicians like Rhialto—but almost all of them were both
  cynical and elaborately polite.
  It did not take my players (most of them fantasy fans every bit as avid as your humble raconteur) long to catch
  on. Yet knowing they walked a Vancian realm did them no good. Jack Vance has never been so unsubtle as to
  give a sovereign solution or ‘master key’ secret to any of his settings. Instead, he scatters blandishments before
  visitors.
  My players were fascinated, hooked into letting their characters tarry beyond prudence—baited by the insolent
  words of the personages they met, hungry to gain the IOUN stones of various new and curious sorts that I’d
  created and set into orbit about the heads of serenely striding magicians seen at a distance,4 and lured by danger
  in the form of deodands gliding from ruin to ruin behind them, seen only ﬂeetingly out of the corners of their
  characters’ eyes.
  5
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  � Vance’s Spell of the Ineffably Pleasurable Prolonged Hour and What It Did To Me �
  4. So as to lay before my players new mysteries and not instantly-seized-upon weapons.
  
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  6
  One player thought to gain spells from an apparently ailing magician, one Arauncu, but another hit upon the
  idea of goading or luring that magician’s long-time rival in magic into an attack upon the enfeebled Arauncu—
  and plundering the rival’s abode of its magical wonders whilst the two battled. Perhaps with a little forgery of
  documents, the PCs could end up owners of at least one and possibly both magicians’ mansions.
  Of course, my players hadn’t reckoned that lesser magicians of that land of Myrmaskalon might well have
  thought of such stratagems for themselves, and already put similar schemes into play—nor that Arauncu’s
  frailties might be no more than a ruse to lure foes of whom he’d grown tired into prepared traps of his making.
  One of the latter was a spell that set a strangely clumsy, shufﬂing deodand tirelessly upon the trail of the
  character who triggered the trap.
  Once detected and slain, the deodand was replaced by a second—and upon its demise, by a third. At least one of
  my players discerned all too clearly the fell details of that trap-magic...but by then, it was too late.
  Another somehow became hunted by seemingly endless masked citizens, who cornered him repeatedly in the
  most remote and unlikely places, and at length—but no, that tale is too painful to recount, and I recall promising
  never to do so without a pressing reason.
  I can say that my formerly bold players at length began—at ﬁrst with grim purpose and then with an increasing
  frenzy of that bone-bright sort born of desperation—to seek a gate back out of the coils of Myrmaskalon of the
  masks and cloaks and dimmer sun. It was then that they discovered that certain arch-magicians regarded such
  things as under their own rightful control, and that others who so much as knew of the existence of such things
  should not be permitted to live—for such gates were both the source of power to the magicians,5 and their own
  intended avenues of escape when the sun should fail at last.
  In short, my players found their surviving characters ﬁghting for their very lives—with more than one of them
  caged, or humiliated, or magically reduced to a state less than human—and when (as heroes do) they found a
  way back to the Realms, they were followed by more than a few slyly lurking masked men, who considered the
  Realms a new prize to be plundered...and the PCs creatures who must still be slain lest they warn local rulers of
  the danger now sidling into their midst.
  Were it not for the tentacled menace of the Malaugrym (simultaneously engaged in one of their own furtive and
  ﬁtful assaults upon Faerûn), the arch-magicians of Myrmaskalon might have succeeded in eliminating both the
  PCs and divers local rulers. As it was, in my original Realms campaign, ‘the Masked’ still lurk in the cities of
  Amn, Calimshan, Sembia, Estagund, and the lands about the Golden Water, acquiring what magics they can and
  covertly learning ever more about this new world ripe for their plunder.
  I can but admire those silkily polite masked men, for I, too, love to walk new worlds.
  So I turn, with yet another gate before me, and make a salute long overdue, to a true master.
  Thank you, sir.
  Why cry I such trumpet?
  Well, Mister Vance has given me such rich worlds in which to play. And so politely, too.
  �
  � Vance’s Spell of the Ineffably Pleasurable Prolonged Hour and What It Did To Me �
  5. Both indirectly, as ways to places where magic was more plentiful, and could with fell cleverness and deadly malice be seized, and
  directly, as they drank of the life-energies of creatures using them without utterance of the precise counter-words.
  WANTED
  A party of dedicated, enthusiastic hunters wishes to hire an expert tracker to assist them in a 
  Hoon hunting expedition. Ask for Peredrix Moane, Kwibbermen Inn, Zoken village.
  
  ‘The Den-Phu Cranes’ is an adventure for use with The Player’s Guide to Kaiin. Assuming your intimate
  knowledge of the contents of this estimable volume, it features characters and places found therein, with handy
  page references. To state the obvious, adventures should be read by GMs only.
  ‘The Den-Phu Cranes’ is best suited for Cugel-level characters, though Turjan-level characters might work,
  perhaps with some adjustment to game statistics. You will need to add additional levels of arcane complication to
  make it work with Rhialto-level characters. The tone of this adventure tends towards the grim and gritty side of
  the Dying Earth, though your players will probably inject a humorous note to the proceedings.
  �
  Premise
  In several days time, the city’s potentate, Prince Kandive the Golden (Dying Earth Role Playing Game p157),
  will perform an annual ritual in which he frees a sextet of white-feathered cranes, to ﬂy serenely across the
  waters of the Sanreal Bay and out of sight. This ancient ceremony is said to bring prosperity and protection to
  the royal family, and perhaps even to the city’s general population. Whenever the ritual has gone awry, a
  disastrous year has followed. On the ﬂying of the cranes a century ago the cranes refused to leave the cage and
  Prince Hulwi was murdered by a madman as the unfortunate prince attempted to chase the cranes out of the
  cage using a stick.
  One or more PCs learn that the royal aviary was penetrated by an unknown intruder, just the night before the
  ritual. The cranes appear unharmed, but the event remains puzzling. Through diligent investigation, the PCs may
  learn that the cranes have been magically altered by the heedless magical prankster Xerceju the Variable. He
  intends to sabotage the ceremony, to the delight of the gambling magnate Anersi, who intends to proﬁt from
  misfortune by wagering heavily on the event.
  The PCs can earn the palace’s gratitude by preventing the ceremony from devolving into
  chaos as the birds turn monstrous and begin pecking onlookers. Or they can cement an
  alliance with Xerceju, or proﬁt alongside Anersi.
  Worksheet
  The Den-Phu Cranes includes the following worksheet elements.
  ODD CUSTOMS
  The ritual of the cranes, central to this adventure, is a very odd custom
  when you consider the great political importance attached to the
  ﬂight of a group of birds.
  CRAFTY SWINDLES
  The sadistic gambling magnate Anersi (Kaiin p147) gets
  wind of Xerceju’s plot, but, rather than warn the prince,
  chooses to make a killing betting on the ceremony’s
  outcome.
  HEATED PROTESTS & PRESUMPTUOUS CLAIMS
  If Xerceju’s trick works and the cranes become monstrous,
  large numbers of impoverished Kaiinese will rush towards
  them, hoping to be pecked, in order to later claim
  compensation from the royal treasury.
  7
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  � The Den-Phu Cranes �
  Robin D. Laws
  “By and large Cugel was disappointed by what seemed a lack of innate competence.”
  
  CASUAL CRUELTY
  Dire fates befall various minor characters unlucky enough to earn the wrath of the adventure’s more
  powerful individuals. Legend has it that the last person to be Chancellor when the ceremony produced ill
  omens took several weeks to die.
  WEIRD MAGIC
  Xerceju’s magic, unless counteracted, will transform the beautiful cranes into hideous pecking creatures, at
  an inopportune moment.
  STRANGE VISTAS: the adventure takes place mostly within Kaiin, though the GM is free to embellish details of
  a possible journey to a forlorn, crane-ridden swamp near the Thamber Meadow.
  EXOTIC FOOD
  Certain foods are traditional as Crane Day approaches, including:
  Goose paté drizzled in sourberry coulis, with assorted seeds. 
  Spicy durum mound with hazeweed and thask. 
  Fillet of spined halibut with fennel and tarragon (best served while ﬁsh is still screaming). 
  Gilded stufﬁng with shellﬁsh and wild mushroom. 
  Dry-rubbed quelo haunch .
  Fermented ﬁgs in a caramelized Mnutocaster sauce. 
  Tongue-peeler pudding (recommended only for the daring).
  FOPPISH APPAREL
  The days leading up to the ceremony provide the city’s dandies and fashion doyens the opportunity to wear
  elaborate, crane-themed garments, such as:
  A pewter helmet, wreathed in a crown of metal feathers. 
  A cape of crane feathers. 
  A necklace adorned with half a dozen artiﬁcial, but highly lifelike, crane beaks.
  Boots cuffed in white feathers.
  Tunics embroidered with crane emblems.
  Cameo jewelry depicting realistically rendered cranes.
  Dark make-up applied around the eyes, mimicking the rings around a crane’s eyes.
  Structuring the Adventure
  This adventure assumes that your players will twist the story line beyond recognition, and therefore gives up on
  any attempt to force them into a linear plotline. Instead, it presents a number of scenes, which can occur in one
  of three possible arrangements. Doubtless your players will throw the plotline for further loops, requiring you to
  rearrange the scenes into yet another pattern, but, with luck, the variant plotlines should provide an example to
  help you envision this.1
  Your PCs may or may not work together as a matter of course. If they typically tend to pursue their own
  independent agendas, do not shoehorn them back into a cohesive group just for this adventure. You could give
  each PC a separate thread of the story line, leading them all together for the climax: one PC might ﬁnd a reason
  to investigate the grim fate of the vigils guarding the cranes, while a second might work on Chancellor Pertrij’s
  behalf, while a third is invited to join Xerceju’s organization. You can give them all independent reasons to try to
  nullify the spell on the cranes, or could set them at cross-purposes.
  Another option when your PCs work independently is to use this adventure as merely one of a number of
  ongoing threads in your game. You can use it to occupy one or more of the PCs while others follow up entirely
  unrelated plot elements. 
  � The Den-Phu Cranes �
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  8
  1. It is a truism in adventure design that the adventures which are the most fun to read are often the toughest to actually run. They
  present exactly the kinds of straightforward, gripping plotlines that the typical band of DERPG characters will tear to ribbons within
  moments. This is especially true if the players are using the vast storehouse of potential tangents that is the Kaiin book. This
  adventure, on the other hand, may be a more challenging read, but should prove more ﬂexible in practice.
  
  Tag lines
  “Ancient ancestral rights entitle me to double compensation.”
  “Behold my prowess, dung-barons!”
  “Fortunately, it is only you who are imperiled.”
  “I am struck dumb with nausea and admiration.”
  “I ﬁrmly support all royal policies, regardless of content.”
  “I protest! It was I who received the most vigorous pecking!”
  “I shall attend closely, by means of this spyglass.”
  “Let us enter into this next round of negotiations with unaccustomed frankness.”
  “My intent is to stand well clear of all sprays, prismatic or not.”
  “Such prankery is not only dangerous, but ill-mannered.”
  “Surely that garment is worn ironically.”
  “The terms of your wager lack precision.”
  “This can only be taken as a sign of utmost treachery.”
  “When this is known, we will be punched until we bleed from the eyes.”
  “Your lamentable pudding barely scorched my companion’s lips.”
  “Your zest for injury may diminish the value of your claim.”
  �
  Getting Started
  There are several possible entry points into the adventure. Either assign different entry points to your various,
  independently minded PCs, or pick the best one for a cohesive group. In either case, the choice of entry point
  corresponds to the neighborhood in which the PC (or group) has the broadest range of contacts.
  Palace Environs
  This version of the adventure follows Plotline 1 (see diagram below) but starts with the second scene, the
  aftermath of the aviary break-in. The prince’s nervous chancellor, Pertrij (Kaiin p92) calls on the PCs for aid
  when he discovers that the aviary has been burgled. He will be doomed if the Prince ﬁnds out, so Pertrij wants to
  ﬁx the problem before Kandive ﬁnds out. The PCs can tackle the problem in one of two ways:
  If they discover lingering magic on the cranes, they can search for a countermeasure. This takes them to the
  Scholasticarium, where they are accosted by Anersi’s thugs. 
  Or they can head out to the nearest location where wild specimens of the required crane species are known to
  rest. Anersi’s thugs are staking out this place, to prevent any last-minute crane substitutions.
  Through his thugs, the PCs learn that Anersi has heavily wagered that the crane ceremony will yield an
  unfavorable omen this year. By dealing with Anersi, they can learn of the weak link in Xerceju’s organization, an
  indebted student named Glerrad. From Glerrad, they learn of Xerceju’s plan, leaving them just enough time to
  rush to the ceremony.
  The Threek/Canal Town
  This uses Plotline 1 as well, but, instead of being brought into the incident by Pertrij, the PCs are approached by
  � The Den-Phu Cranes �
  9
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  
  surviving relatives of the aviary vigils. The vigils died after torture ordered by Pertrij; now the relatives want to
  prove the vigils innocent, to gain compensation for their wrongful deaths. This means ﬁnding the true culprit,
  which leads the PCs along the same trail of clues as above.
  The Tracks
  For PCs centered in The Tracks, use Plotline 2. A petty gambler friend2 of the PCs, known as Pluvote, is found
  horribly slain. When they investigate, Anersi’s thugs show up to scare them off. This leads them to suspect Anersi
  of involvement in the death. Investigating further, they learn the secret that got Pluvote killed: he connected his
  acquaintance, the apprentice magician Glerrad, to Anersi. (Kaiin p147) The PCs learn of the aviary break-in.
  From there they can either try to capture a new set of cranes, or search for countermagic. Either way, they arouse
  the wrath of Xerceju, who confronts them. From him, they learn the nature of the magic on the cranes, and can
  then proceed to interrupt the ceremony, if they so desire.
  Scholasticarium District 
  Scholasticarium-based PCs stumble onto the plot when their acquaintance, Glerrad, afﬂicted with a terrible
  curse, points them towards the aviary. Their investigation of the break-in leads them afoul of Anersi’s thugs. This
  leads them to suspect Anersi, from whom they can discover Xerceju’s plan, as learned through Glerrad. They can
  then attempt to ﬁnd new cranes or a counter to Xerceju’s magic, but the prankster magician shows up and
  thwarts them, leaving them with a last-minute appearance at the ceremony as their only way of saving the day. 
  The Market
  Use either Plotline 2 or 3, after having established that either Pluvote or Glerrad is a regular customer of Market-
  based PCs, or their patrons.
  The Fringe
  Use Plotline 2; Pluvote is slain in the Fringe, and Anersi’s thugs take the opportunity to severely thrash a few
  helpless derelicts who unknowingly stumble onto the scene of the crime. The derelicts tell the PCs of the murder,
  which they can then investigate, if they so choose.
  � The Den-Phu Cranes �
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  10
  2. Alternately, Pluvote owes the PCs money, leading them to look to his killer for compensation. Or perhaps a relative seeks
  vengeance on those who slew him.
  Plotline 1
  Plotline 2
  Plotline 3
  Vigil 
  relatives
  seek 
  redress
  aviary
  break-in
  Crane chase
  Countermagic
  search
  Anersi's 
  thugs
  Anersi's
  Secret 
  Wager
  The Indiscretion
  of Glerrad
  Xerceju's
  Sublime 
  Plan
  Confrontation
  with Xerceju
  Release 
  the 
  Cranes!
  Some of the multitudinous ways in which the scenes of this scenario may be arranged to amuse your players.
  aviary
  break-in
  Crane chase
  Countermagic
  search
  The Indiscretion
  of Glerrad
  Xerceju's
  Sublime 
  Plan
  Confrontation
  with Xerceju
  Release 
  the 
  Cranes!
  Pluvote's
  Last 
  Bet
  Anersi's 
  thugs
  Anersi's
  Secret 
  Wager
  Vigil 
  relatives
  seek 
  redress
  aviary
  break-in
  Crane chase
  Countermagic
  search
  The Indiscretion
  of Glerrad
  Xerceju's
  Sublime 
  Plan
  Confrontation
  with Xerceju
  Release 
  the 
  Cranes!
  Anersi's 
  thugs
  Anersi's
  Secret 
  Wager
  
  Odkin Prospect
  Glerrad hails from a wealthy family, and is known to aristocratic PCs. Use
  Plotline 3.
  The Undercity
  If the PCs live in the Undercity they know that the city has not been
  destroyed, so establish Glerrad as a regular customer of the luxury shops
  there, and use Plotline 3.
  � 
  Scenes And Characters
  Here are notes on the scenes and characters found in the three variant
  plotlines. Note that the content of the scenes may vary from one plotline to
  another, so use the synopses listed above in “Getting Started” as your key.
  Aviary break-in
  Plotline 1
  The PCs become involved after Pertrij discovers that royal aviary has been
  breached, with the vigils on duty none the wiser. Already afraid that his life
  hung by a thread (the life expectancy of chancellors in Kaiin is not great)
  he panicked, assuming them complicit in the incident, and ordered the men
  tortured. Unsurprisingly, they died without confessing anything, and now
  Pertrij is anxious for a new clue to the mystery.
  The Royal Aviary is a large, gilded birdcage that is temporarily erected
  each year, so that people can view the lucky cranes housed within. It is
  located on the royal grounds just inside the palace district gates. Guards
  stand on duty at all hours to prevent saboteurs from harming the birds.
  Such crimes have been attempted in the past; a prince who cannot produce
  cranes on Crane Day suffers a terrible humiliation. (This is all common
  knowledge in Kaiin.)
  From Pertrij or another palace contact3 the PCs can learn that the cage was
  found yesterday morning with its doors swinging open. The guards were
  found lying among the nearby trees, blissfully unconscious. The cranes
  were still present in the cage, but Pertrij decided that something was surely
  amiss.
  Any PC capable of performing a cantrap can examine the cranes and tell that some sort of powerful spell has
  been cast on them. If no PC can do this, Cilbikark, a dabbler on Pertrij’s staff, takes them aside and nervously
  informs them that he has cast the necessary cantrap. He tells the PCs about it, but not Pertrij. He does not want
  to attract unnecessary attention from either his master or the great magician who ensorcelled the birds.
  If the PCs have been employed by the dead vigils’ relatives, they may need to Persuade worried ofﬁcials to
  provide the information given here. The clues should feel harder to get, while still remaining available.
  Cilbikark is also the palace’s resident expert on the puce-crested squawking crane, the species required by the
  ceremony. He can give the PCs the necessary directions to the Crane Chase (see below) should they ask about
  replacing the ensorcelled birds.
  Plotlines 2 and 3
  In both of the other plotlines, the PCs have already learned from Glerrad that Xerceju has done something
  � The Den-Phu Cranes �
  11
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  Tormented by an an unfortunate case of 
  Colonic Extravasation?
  Afflicted, through no fault of your own,
  with Thrumbarche’s Impaction?
  Invalidated by the socially embarassing
  emanations prompted by 
  the Blue Reams? 
  Then you need
  MOGLAMAR’S REMEDIAL
  COMMIXTURE!
  Meticulously prepared by the
  Consecrated Virgin Benevolents of
  Azenomei, 
  MOGLAMAR’S REMEDIAL
  COMMIXTURE
  is an efficacious panacea for 
  All Known Coeliactic Ailments!
  Moglamar’s can assume no responsibility for unexpected and
  fulminating eructations that occur as a result of use of the
  Commixture.
  3. Pertrij has done his best to conceal the incident; no one else in the palace knows about it. If the PCs learn about it from another
  character, he’ll be fearful for his life, worried that he’ll end up sharing the vigils’ fate.
  
  untoward with the birds. Vigils on duty can tell them the story and direct
  them to Cilbikark as a source of basic information. He can conﬁrm that
  the birds are ensorcelled and/or tell them where to go for the Crane Hunt.
  Or they can seek out Pertrij for his perspective on events.
  Relatives Seek Redress
  Plotline 1
  In this alternate opening, tearful relatives approach the PCs and beg them
  to ﬁnd out who committed the crimes for which their beloved family
  members were tortured to death. The spokesman for the families is the
  double-chinned, greasy-haired Zelme. Zelme pretends to be sorrow-
  stricken but speaks mostly of the compensation they will get if they prove
  the deaths unjustiﬁed.
  One of the vigils was cousin to Pertrij’s, assistant Cilbikark. If it makes no
  sense for Pertrij to provide necessary information at the aviary, Cilbikark
  will do so.
  Plotline 2
  Although not required at any particular point, you may want to introduce
  this element as a free-ﬂoating complication.
  Plotline 3
  Here the relatives show up at the aviary after the PCs have discovered the
  facts but before they can really do anything about it. Zelme at ﬁrst accuses
  the PCs, for no discernible reason, of helping to cover up their relatives’
  deaths, and demands payment to exclude them from her upcoming lawsuit.
  They can persuade her (with a +1 bonus, since the truth is on their side)
  that they are her natural allies and should therefore be omitted from any
  litigation. This fuss gives Anersi’s thugs time to spot the adventurers and
  plot to ambush them before they can look for countermagic or new cranes.
  Crane Chase
  All Plotlines
  After determining that the cranes are somehow polluted with unknown
  magic, the PCs may decide to seek new ones. Unfortunately, the ceremony
  is very speciﬁc and demands the use of the puce-crested squawking crane, a
  bird now rare in the Kaiin area. The only nearby place where the cranes
  are found is a gloomy marsh near the Thamber Meadow. The marsh is
  known to be infested with erb, which for some reason ﬁnd the cranes
  unpalatable. However, crane-hunters are quite a different matter.
  Make the journey to the marsh detailed and arduous, or dispense with it
  quickly, as demanded by the group’s interest level. When they get to the
  marsh, the PCs will be confronted either by Anersi’s thugs, or by Xerceju,
  depending on which plotline you are using. If they are itching for a ﬁght
  with a half-man or two, throw that in on the way to the confrontation.
  Countermagic Search
  All Plotlines
  Alternately, the PCs may decide to look for a way to lift the spell on the current cranes, so they can be used
  without worry. The adventurers will not be permitted to take any of the cranes with them, but they can pluck a
  feather or two. They will likely head off to their Scholasticarium contacts to see if any of them can perform more
  precise detection magics on the feathers.
  � The Den-Phu Cranes �
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  12
  � CILBIKARK �
  “To draw attention to oneself is
  not only brash, but hazardous.”
  Cilbikark is a tall, thin palace
  functionary with sandy hair and
  a beakish nose. Although he
  remains silent whenever possible,
  he speaks, when he has to, in a
  high, nasal tone. He wears a
  faded robe the color of mole fur,
  with matching skullcap, and
  nondescript slippers of soft
  leather. Cilbikark’s primary credo
  is the avoidance of undue
  attention.
  Ratings: Persuade (Obfuscatory)
  4, Rebuff (Wary) 10, Attack
  (Caution) 3, Defense (Dodge) 3,
  Health 2, Magic (Studious) 4,
  Appraisal 4, Athletics 2,
  Concealment 6, Etiquette 6,
  Pedantry 6 (Court procedure 9),
  Perception 4, Scuttlebutt 4,
  Stealth 4, Stewardship 6.
  Resistances: Arrogance Ω,
  Avarice 4, Pettifoggery 4,
  Rakishness 4.
  Learned Cantraps: Note presence
  of lingering magic; gain blessing
  (2 pt. boon) to Concealment
  Spell: The Omnipotent Sphere
  Special: Suffers a -1 penalty on
  Rebuff when his
  opponent’s
  suggestion will help
  him evade undue
  attention; gains +1
  bonus on Rebuff
  when suggestion will
  expose him to
  attention.
  
  Again, they are accosted before they ﬁnd anything, either by Anersi’s thugs or Xerceju himself. Both the gambler
  and the prankster-mage have paid informants to warn them when anyone starts making inquiries about enspelled
  crane feathers.
  PCs who can cast Liberation of Warp may cast the spell and think they have done their job. Unfortunately,
  Xerceju has foreseen this eventuality, and, during his intrusion, slipped an anti-magical charm down the largest
  crane’s gullet. The charm is described below.4
  Anersi’s Thugs
  The role of these bully-boys in the various plotlines is to show up and
  harass the PCs, but then to reveal their master’s identity, allowing the plot
  to move forward. 
  Plotline 1
  They confront PCs searching for new cranes or a counter to Xerceju’s spell.
  Plotline 2
  They confront PCs looking into Pluvote’s murder.
  Plotline 3
  Aided by the commotion caused by redress-seeking relatives, Anersi’s thugs
  accost the PCs after they visit the aviary, before they even get a chance to
  go crane hunting or seek a magical remedy for the cranes. Anersi’s thugs
  subscribe to the Philosophy of Thand, which states that men should always
  be prepared to risk their lives for their masters.5 They are more eager to
  ﬁght, and less concerned for their survival, than most denizens of the
  Dying Earth. On the other hand, they are also gullible (as their adherence
  to this foolish creed suggests), and can easily be persuaded to reveal the
  name of their employer. There are as many thugs as there are PCs in the
  scene in which they appear. 
  In all plotlines, the thugs foolishly reveal the identity of their employer. It’s
  best if the players think to question them. If they do not think of it, you
  can either supply them the necessary clue, or require them to thrash about
  until they ﬁnd other, more difﬁcult clues leading them to Anersi.
  � The Den-Phu Cranes �
  13
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  �
  Bead of Vexing Persistence
  2 points, permanent
  This tiny azurite bead speciﬁcally counters annoying uses of the Liberation of Warp. If the charm is cast
  within 10 yards of the bead, the bead temporarily absorbs all spell effects that would otherwise be neutralized
  by the Liberation. After ten minutes, it returns all the spells to their original state, as if the Liberation were
  never used.
  �
  4. The spell to transform puce-crested cranes to monstrous, pecking beasts has been
  omitted from this adventure, due to its sharply narrow applicability. It belongs to the
  class of Sub-Centaneous Spells, as identiﬁed by the archmagician Queevus. These are
  spells of such eccentric utility that they surely cannot be included in the legendary
  canon of the One Hundred Known Spells, as codiﬁed by Phandaal.
  5. This philosophy was at one time thought to have died out, Thand himself having
  disavowed it before his death at the hands of two of his surviving henchmen.
  6. Although theologians might disagree, Jualchima perceives no contradiction
  between her faith and the Philosophy of Thand.
  � ANERSI’S THUGS �
  Here are their names and
  identifying quirks:
  IBANNITZ speaks with a lisp.
  LUMARCENG reeks of
  intoxicating herb.
  SANNESIA a muscular, faintly
  mustachioed woman.
  TEODES gigantic, slope-browed,
  looks about 14 years old.
  DROLAS mispronounces words
  URKEN high-pitched giggle
  SEMURINGK speaks incessantly of
  his past lives
  ARALEN continually reminds
  listeners of his extreme frankness
  JUALCHIMA kindly offers to
  convert enemies to the religion of
  the Nocturnal God before
  releasing them to convert others.6
  Ratings: Persuade (Intimidating)
  3, Rebuff (Obtuse) 3, Attack
  (Strength) 6+, Defense (Sure-
  Footedness) 6+(, Health 2,
  Athletics 6, Living Rough 2,
  Perception 2, Tracking 4,
  Wherewithal 2.
  Resistances: none
  
  Anersi’s Secret Wager
  All Plotlines
  The PCs are directed to Anersi when his thugs stupidly reveal his identity — or, if they fail to glean this clue, by
  tortuous alternate means of your devising.
  The PCs ﬁnd Anersi ensconced in his ofﬁce in his ﬂamboyantly decadent gambling establishment, High Hell
  (Kaiin p153). He leans insolently back on his luxurious, charst-furred couch as he hears them out, smoking a
  thin brass pipe that emits intoxicating, eye-irritating smoke. 
  The outcome of the interrogation differs between plotlines: in 1 and 2, he lets slip only the identity of Glerrad; in
  3, he reveals that Xerceju has ensorcelled the cranes so that they will ruin the ceremony. 
  In all cases, he can be made to admit that he has placed large wagers that the outcome of this year’s ritual will be
  inauspicious. (To cover his trail somewhat, he is had his men place a multitude of small bets in the gambling
  houses of Anersi’s rivals.) 
  To get Anersi to reveal this, the players must best him by contesting Persuade or Scuttlebutt against his Rebuff.
  Reward PCs with a boon if they ﬁnd an approach that plays up to Anersi’s arrogance and sadism; levy them if
  they appeal to his nonexistent humility or sense of fair play.
  The Indiscretion of Glerrad
  Plotlines 1 and 2
  The PCs know that Anersi has for some reason placed large wagers that the ceremony will have an unlucky
  outcome this year. They know that he is based his wager on information gleaned from an aristocratic student at
  the Scholasticarium named Glerrad.
  They ﬁnd him at that well-known academic watering hole, the Spined Tome (Kaiin p119), tippling a variety of
  Lumarthi dregs-wines with four of his fellow students. He will quickly shoo them away when it becomes
  apparent that they know something of Xerceju’s plan — his friends do not even know he belongs to the
  prankster’s organization.
  Glerrad recently joined Xerceju’s Kaiin Philosophical and Thaumaturgical Society (Kaiin p105), just in time to
  discover the elder magician’s plan to sabotage the crane ceremony. Alas, several whirlwind weeks of excess at
  Anersi’s gambling den, High Hell, left him seriously in debt to the vicious gambling magnate. As preliminary
  payment of his debts, he revealed Xerceju’s plan to Anersi, suggesting that a person forewarned of the upcoming
  incident could make some proﬁtable wagers. Because he would not be able to place further bets if word got out,
  Glerrad felt conﬁdent that Anersi would keep his secret. 
  He reacts with bitter dismay when he ﬁnds out that the PCs have cozened Anersi into revealing his identity. He
  knows that Xerceju’s wrath, were he to learn of Glerrad’s treachery, will be deeply unpleasant, if not fatal. Thus,
  as the PCs use Persuade or Scuttlebutt against his Rebuff to get him to reveal more of the plan, they must assure
  him that Xerceju will never know he told them. Grant a 1-point boon if their assurances seem convincing, or a
  1-point levy if they ring hollow. If they overcome his Rebuff, he directs them to the aviary and instructs them to
  test for lingering magics. He then ﬂees at top speed for his family’s summer cottage near Flath Floiry, and, unless
  intercepted by the PCs, vanishes from the story line.7
  Plotline 3
  Glerrad kicks off the plotline by appearing to the PCs in a gruesome state, with his face melted shut. He can
  barely see through fused eyelids and burbles in inarticulate agony when the merest breeze blows on him. In this
  instance, the adventure works best if one or more PCs knows Glerrad beforehand. Or perhaps his wealthy family
  engages them to assist him . 
  In this version of the story, Xerceju became suspicious of Glerrad and, wearing a false face, followed him to a
  rendezvous with Anersi. He later confronted and punished Glerrad for his betrayal. 
  � The Den-Phu Cranes �
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  14
  7. In a follow-up adventure, the PCs might be engaged by Anersi to track him down, with an eye towards extracting his gambling
  debts. If they stop the ceremony from being disrupted, they might do so to make their own peace with Anersi, who will be less than
  pleased by the failure of his wagers.
  
  Now, Glerrad ﬁnds it painful to speak at all. With grunts, gestures, and
  crude sketches, he directs the PCs to the aviary. Then, as above, he ﬂees for
  his family’s summer home.
  Pluvote’s Last Bet
  Plotline 2 only
  Pluvote, a petty gambler known to the PCs, is found in the dhjetar stables
  (Kaiin p161), hideously slain. At ﬁrst, the discoverers of his body thought
  he had been killed by one of the dhjetar, because his corpse was mauled
  and partially eaten. However, closer inspection revealed that Pluvote’s
  tongue had been nailed to a long chunk of wood, a clear indication that he
  was murdered, and by someone wishing to remind people of the
  advantages of judicious silence.
  Pluvote happened to be present on separate occasions while several of
  Anersi’s go-betweens placed bets on the negative outcome of the upcoming
  crane ceremony. He began to ask around about this, but made the mistake
  of quizzing Ibbanitz, one of Anersi’s thugs. Ibbanitz reported his curiosity
  to Anersi, who ordered him tortured and killed, as a general example to
  the overly inquisitive.
  If the PCs ask their Tracks contacts about Pluvote, they learn that he was
  perpetually down on his luck, but could also be described as a clever
  fellow with a nose for opportunity. When word gets around that they are
  asking questions about him, Anersi’s thugs come after the PCs. Go to the
  “Anersi’s thugs” scene, above.
  Xerceju’s Sublime Plan
  Xerceju is not the most rational magician ever to hang a shingle at the
  Scholasticarium. His plan is meant as a grand philosophical exercise to
  illustrate the unpredictability of fate in a world ruled by magic. He wants
  everyone to speak — and fear — his name. He pays no further heed to the
  ramiﬁcations of his plan. It never occurred to him that Kandive would
  suffer politically for his actions; when Glerrad made this point, Xerceju
  airily dismissed it. He does not believe in the supernatural efﬁcacy of the
  ritual, and therefore does not worry that he might be bringing a year of
  terrible luck down on Kaiin’s citizens.
  In Plotline 1, the PCs learn of the plan from Glerrad. In Plotline 2, Xerceju
  himself shows up to interrupt their crane chase or counter-magic search,
  cheerfully proclaiming the splendiferous profundity of his plan. In Plotline
  3, they learn it from Anersi.
  Confrontation With Xerceju
  In all plotlines, the penultimate scene,8 is a confrontation with the wily
  Xerceju, who threatens the PCs with magical punishments most dire if they
  interfere with his plot. He is more than a match for Cugel-level characters,
  and a solid threat to a handful of Turjan-level types. In the unlikely event
  that you are running this adventure for Rhialto-level characters, his only
  useful ploys against arch-magicians are wheedling and persuasion.
  � The Den-Phu Cranes �
  15
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  � GLERRAD �
  Plotlines 1 and 2 
  “I vehemently refuse to answer
  charges arising from a betrayal of
  conﬁdence!”
  Plotline 3
  “Mmmg! Mmmrrk! Ummg!”
  Vain and easily tempted, the
  blue-blooded Glerrad is shocked
  to learn that the world is full of
  killers and swindlers. Worse, they
  uniformly fail to exempt him
  from their cruel plans, despite his
  evident good breeding. Fear is a
  new concept to him, and the
  hold it has taken on him is
  complete. Still, until the PCs
  come along, he is not quite bright
  enough to realize that the city
  has become too dangerous for
  him.
  His brunette hair fails across his
  marble-white brow in coy
  ringlets. He speaks in a breathy,
  insinuating whisper. He is
  resplendent in Crane Day ﬁnery:
  a wide chapeau covered in puce
  feathers from the crests of long-
  dead birds, a half cape
  embroidered with a silver-thread
  crane head, and boots equipped
  with splayed, bird-like feet. In
  plotline 3, these togs have been
  marred by tiny chunks of melted
  ﬂesh.
  Ratings: Persuade (Glib) 4,
  Rebuff (Obtuse) 6, Attack
  (Ferocity) 4, Defense (Parry) 6,
  Health 4, Magic (Forceful) 5,
  Appraisal 4, Athletics 2,
  Etiquette 6, Gambling 2,
  Pedantry 4, Perception 1,
  Scuttlebutt 4, Seduction 2,
  Wherewithal 1.
  Resistances: None.
  8. That is, the penultimate scene as presented here. You may need to insert
  additional scenes between this and the climax, to make the timing of events work to
  best effect.
  
  The only argument that works with Xerceju is that the pettiness of his scheme is an affront to his reputation, and
  does not live up to his previous epic japes. Any PC using any other argument does so at a levy of 1.
  Xerceju has not bothered to prepare any means of aborting the prank; he can agree not to stand in their way as
  they try to stop it, but will not do anything to derail the impending disaster himself.
  Release the Cranes!
  All plotlines
  Do your best to ensure that the PCs arrive at the shore with only moments to spare before the cranes are
  released. Shamelessly interpose objects and situations between the PCs and the beach. Anersi’s thugs might make
  a repeat appearance. Importuning relatives of the slain vigils could show up with complaints and legal threats.
  Vigils, misled by Xerceju, might think the PCs mean to disrupt the ceremony. If necessary, resort to chase scene
  staples such as pushy panhandlers, inconvenient parades, and carts careening out of control. 
  The gilded cage has been trucked to the muddy beach on a large cart. Kandive, members of the royal household,
  and various other dignitaries stand uneasily on a silk-draped platform that tilts unevenly, its support joists sunk
  merely into wet sand. A brass band, most of whose members are blind or deformed, tootles below.
  As the PCs hit the beach, Kandive strolls down towards the cage, on a sopping, muddy red carpet. Paying no
  heed to their likely cries, he releases the cranes. 
  Turning monstrous, they treble in size, developing horny hides and great, pelgrane-like beaks. They swoop across
  the beach in search of eyes to peck out. Vigils run for cover. Functionaries in their ﬁnery scream and knock their
  knees together. Onlookers tear cloaks from one another, hoping to cover their heads. The blind half of the band
  keeps playing, while the merely deformed half tosses aside instruments and dashes into the bay. 
  Kandive retreats in an orderly manner towards his covered carriage; though he is capable of dealing with this
  crisis, he considers it beneath his dignity. Only if the PCs fail will he step in to drive off the demonized cranes.
  The lead crane has now had time to pass Xerceju’s Bead of Vexing Persistence through its system. Liberation of
  Warp will return the cranes to normal, as will contact with anti-magical talismans like Laccodel’s Rune.
  Alternatively, the PCs can try to shoot the monstrous things out of the sky with offensive spells or ordinary
  missile weapons.
  If they return the cranes to normal, they will earn Kandive’s gratitude,
  winning a generous reward suitable to your ongoing series. Technically, the
  ceremony has been completed, albeit in an irregular manner. The people of
  Kaiin mop their brows in a gesture of relief: disaster has been averted.
  If all the PCs do is kill the monstrous cranes, they earn a more meager
  reward. Obviously, if they fail to do either, they gain no great beneﬁt.
  Aftermath
  If acting on behalf of the dead vigils’ families, the PCs can take their proof of Pertrij’s wrongful orders either to
  the prince, or to the chancellor himself. In the latter case, they can wring a generous settlement out of him by
  promising to conceal evidence of his errors. Whether they pass this along to the families or swindle them is a
  matter left to the players’ consciences. If they take the matter to the prince, he is dismissive. What are the lives of
  a few vigils, when his own might be at stake? 
  Behind the scenes, Kandive calls Pertrij on the carpet for concealing the problem from him, but this is a fact that
  the PCs can learn only by diligent application of their Scuttlebutt abilities. Unless you want to dramatically shake
  up palace politics, Pertrij manages to cling to his position, but becomes even more insecure than before.
  This episode allows the PCs the opportunity to make friends or lasting enemies of Anersi and Xerceju. They can
  also impress the prince, without much risk of infuriating him. Be sure to follow up on these relationships as your
  series progresses.
  �
  � The Den-Phu Cranes �
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  16
  � MONSTROUS EX-CRANES �
  “kruee-kro, kruee-kro”
  Ratings: Attack (Ferocity) 2~,
  Defense (Intuition) 1~, Health 1,
  Athletics 2~, Perception 2,
  Wherewithal 2.
  
  17
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  I
  t’s an interesting question, really, isn’t it? Why do apparently sensible folk decide to abandon home and
  hearth for a life of rampant uncertainty, with no guarantee of a warm bed or meal, indeterminate plumbing,1
  and monsters with large, sharp teeth and an unhealthy interest in your well being? Bit of a mystery, really. Of
  course if they didn’t you wouldn’t be sitting there with a character sheet and some dice getting ready to play a
  role playing game set on Dying Earth. In the rulebook it states “thou shalt not write page upon page of
  immensely detailed, graphic ﬁction concerning thine origins”2 That would be a “Bad Thing™”, as it sets
  everything about your character in stone before you start and gives you very little ﬂexibility should you require
  it.3 No chance for that long lost evil brother to turn up and thwart you if you have an in-depth resume of your
  entire life down to what you had for breakfast every morning. Nevertheless, it is possible to give your character
  a sense of background and an idea of how they might react to certain situations based on their upbringing
  without writing the next nine-part fantasy blockbuster. So where do you begin? Let’s look ﬁrst at why people
  leave home, which broadly falls in to three categories: Personal, Local and “Not Really Much Choice In The
  Matter At All”. The personal section is straightforward: personal betterment, personal gain and personal thrill
  seeking (or the grass is most deﬁnitely greener anywhere but here). Local is slightly more restrictive and much
  boils down to going off to get someone or something that will in the end aid your village. “Not Really Much
  Choice”? Well, that could be a whole range of things from the almost ritual “must get out of town quick
  because you did something you shouldn’t with/to someone you shouldn’t have”, or tradition. Tradition is a
  powerful force in village life and just because the world is ending doesn’t mean that tradition is going to go out
  of the window. If anything, people will tend to cling to it all the more as a stabilizing inﬂuence in an otherwise
  unfathomable world.
  What we are suggesting is a brief description of where you came from, that is your village or town. What were
  their beliefs and how did that affect you? How will that inﬂuence your behavior towards other people? Is it
  ever likely that you will drop in at home for a chat? How are other people from the village going to react
  towards you? Just remember, every adventurer has to have come from somewhere. Of course, there is one
  minor danger in giving yourself a sense of community and history: your GM. Being the devious little creatures
  that they are, they will use any information you give them and turn it against
  you.4 So you must put your thinking caps on, for by the simple exercise of a
  modicum of caution coupled with a smidgen of glorious cunning, there is a
  possibility that you can control what is going to be thrown at you in future
  adventures. Give your GM something juicy and they will love you for it and will
  not even notice how they have been duped. Unless they read this article as well, in
  which case you have a problem. If so, console yourself with the thought that a
  good GM will always ﬁnd something evil to drop on you from a great height and
  you might as well have a hand in determining what that is. Right, let’s look at
  some examples. In the traditional manner, we will start at the top.
  �
  � The Dying Earth Needs You �
  Lynne Hardy
  or
  What precisely drives people to wander off into grave danger, when they really ought to have more sense?
  1. Plumbing in the Dying Earth will of course be covered in depth in a forthcoming supplement.
  2. Pedants please note this is a loose translation of the section on p120 of the main rules that deals with the matter somewhat more
  elegantly.
  3. It has to be admitted, a degree of moral and ethical ﬂexibility is the hallmark of a successful individual in the 21st Aeon.
  4. Indeed to be perfectly honest this is the purpose of the entire exercise. Your hard-pressed, overworked and over stressed GM needs
  all the help they can get.
  
  1. Personal Betterment and Gain
  “When you see me next,” I told him, squeezing the words out between clenched teeth, “you will not
  talk to me that way. You will greet me as an equal or, which is the more likely, your superior. For I
  go to better myself and earn my rightful position in this world and your petty-mindedness shall not
  stop me!”
  There are many cases through-out history where people of lowly status set off to better themselves in the wide
  world before returning to really rub people’s noses in their new found status.5 This can, of course, coincide with
  personal gain because money talks and can do so very loudly if you have enough of it. It’s a central theme of
  many fairy tales, so you might as well make it work for you. You can even couple it with revenge because, let’s
  face it, everyone has a mean streak when pushed. 
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  18
  � The Dying Earth Needs You �
  5. On a practical note, achieving the editorship of even a superior publication such as this does not grant one the same kudos as does
  riding into one’s home village surrounded by a substantial number of heavily armed and extremely proﬁcient-looking personal
  retainers.
  6. It should be noted that Lynne is from the North of England where things are done differently.
  7. One only trusts she will exercise caution squirming through a narrow window with a naked blade pressed against her.
  The village of Mysogin has a terrible attitude towards women. They cannot own property in their own
  right and they are expected to marry whoever they are told to, have children and keep house. After all, it’s
  not as if they are truly human, is it?6 Our heroine, a feisty lass who is more than well aware that women are
  superior to men in every way imaginable, has had enough. Tomorrow her father is going to tell her which
  of the local dolts she is going to marry. She knows this is not the lot in life for her, but what can she do to
  avoid it? Well, of course, she can leave and that’s exactly what she is doing right now. There she is, crawling
  out of the window in the dead of night, dressed in her brother’s clothes and with the kitchen knife (an evil
  blade) tucked into her belt.7 She knows (from listening to the traders that visit the village occasionally) that
  there are other places where women are not treated this way and she is going to ﬁnd them. How will this
  affect her attitude to people? Well, for a start, she probably is not going to like men very much. That does
  not mean she is a rabid man-hater, but she is going to be very wary of men in a position of power. After all,
  they have done their damnedest all her life to keep her down. She is probably going to try far too hard to
  prove her worth to everyone in sight. She is going to have to be better than the
  boys, not one of them. That does not mean she is going to have an easy
  relationship with other women, either – she may be disappointed if they do not
  meet up to her exalted expectations. How will someone else from her village
  react to her? Now that could be interesting – if she meets a man from her village
  abroad in the world, then he is probably going to be horriﬁed. It’s bad enough
  having to deal with all these brazen hussies without discovering that the good
  women of home (who know their place) have taken to gadding about in the guise
  of strumpets. And as for going home – well, expect ﬁreworks. None of the village
  aldermen are going to be pleased to see her, even if some of the women are
  secretly envious and very proud of her. Wealth and spectacular magical prowess
  may keep them from an outright lynching, but it really is not going to be a happy
  homecoming. What if she lives as a man? It is not unknown. History is littered
  with tales of women who had glittering careers as men, their secret only being
  discovered after death. Maybe, deep down, she is more than a little ashamed of
  what she has done and wishes to remain incognito. It’s possible that all those
  years of conditioning mean that she is convinced that even outside she will only
  get her fair due as a man. Whatever the reason, this could lead to all manner of
  subterfuge to maintain the masquerade. There is a twist on this, as there is in
  most things. It does not have to be a woman escaping from the restrictive
  lifestyle of her forefathers; it could just as easily be a man escaping from a
  matriarchal society. 
  
  19
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  2. Personal Thrill Seeking.
  The little boy looked up adoringly as Uncle Mattians, renowned traveler and storyteller, recounted
  again precisely how he had outwitted the cantankerous deodand and how this had led to him
  wooing the most beautiful woman in Kaiin. The child loved the bit about the escape from the Royal
  Palace and was utterly determined that when his topknot touched the third notch on the door post,
  he would leave this dead-end hovel and have adventures of his own.
  This is perhaps the most obvious choice for an adventurer. Nowhere is
  quite so boring as where you are right now, home even more so. Maybe it
  was the life of repetitive drudgery, maybe it was the reputation of a
  disreputable family member—who, despite no-one having a kind word for
  him when he wasn’t there was the most popular person in the entire
  world when he was)—it doesn’t really matter because you want out. So
  what does that tell you about your village? Maybe they just do not like
  outsiders and believe strongly in conforming, maybe they are genuinely
  happy with things the way they are, or maybe you just have itchy feet.
  You were never meant to be a pumpkin herder, were you? How will that
  make you react to the outside world? There are a couple of routes you
  could go: the madcap and the studious. In the madcap, you are desperate
  to try everything as quickly and as much as physically possible. Long term
  this isn’t going to do you much good at all, but hey, the world is ending
  and you have to cram in as much as possible before you all disappear in a
  puff of exploding sun.8 No one is going to stand in your proﬂigate way.
  Most people probably think you are a drunken, debauched wastrel, but
  what is their opinion to you? In the studious path, whilst you are just as
  determined to sample everything the world has on offer, you want to take
  the time to truly savor each delight to the utmost. You may even seem
  reserved to those who do not know you, but you have an amazing
  capacity for the unusual. People probably nod respectfully as you pass by,
  even if they are bemused by your overall behavior. They are whispering
  “Now there is a man who knows how to enjoy the ﬁner things in life!”9
  Of course, you have to pay for all of that experimentation and
  adventuring is so much easier than working. For heaven’s sake, you left
  home to avoid all that nonsense.
  �
  3. Local: For the Good of the Village
  Why her? It wasn’t as if there weren’t other people who would have fair jumped at the chance to
  disappear off into this stinking wilderness, knee-deep in mud, with fanged horrors jumping out
  from behind every blinking bush10 (did they have no sense of shame?). But, oh no, it had to be her,
  with her obvious talent for ﬁnding things. Oh yes, she could ﬁnd things all right, but as far as she
  was concerned it was only ever trouble she found and it usually had her name on it.
  There are many scrapes you can get yourself into on behalf of your village. Perhaps someone has stolen
  something sacred to the village and you, with all your talents, are appointed the person to go and get it back.
  � The Dying Earth Needs You �
  8. Some savants assume an exploding sun, others point to the gradual decline and claim that the sun will just blink out and leave us
  to freeze in the dark. None of them can give a date, unlike a type-setter who conﬁded to me that he knew the sun would blink out
  on a Perday morning, which is why he never bothered arriving at work until after noon.
  9. Convince yourself of this.
  10. Blinking bush (Vibrare lento ubriacare), a relatively rare plant found most often in northeastern Almery.
  No one may stand directly in
  your proﬂigate way, but
  opportunities will doubtless
  present themselves.
  
  Then there is always the staple “town in peril” option, where the elders have absolutely no faith in your
  abilities to solve the problem, but they would like you to go and fetch someone else to do it. Charming.
  �
  4. Tradition:
  There was really no way out of it, whichever way you looked at things. It had been like this for centuries,
  aeons even, and just because it did not suit him, it did not mean it was not right and proper. At least that’s
  what his grandmother kept telling him. And she would know because, like all grandmothers, she knew
  everything… Ah, tradition: a wonderful way to give yourself an interesting little background and a suitably
  quirky home village. Tradition can cover so many things that it really is the proverbial candy store that your
  small person has been abandoned in. Because there is so much scope for embellishment, let’s look at several
  different ways in which tradition can be used.
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  20
  � The Dying Earth Needs You �
  Supicus is a town with a problem. Within the last few months, a band of ghouls has taken up residence in
  the forests near by and has been making their presence felt. Despite being of a reasonable size and full of
  lusty farmers not averse to wielding pitchforks and the like, the town seems reluctant to deal with the
  problem themselves. Our hero, a ﬁt and strapping lad, has been chosen to travel to Almery to hire the best
  mercenaries the town can afford, and have them come and sort things out. How does that make him feel
  about the townsfolk? He is either going to be honored to have been chosen for such an important task as
  this or he is likely to think they are pathetic wimps for not dealing with it themselves. What will the
  townsfolk think of him? He is either the poor sap sent off on a fool’s errand who will probably never make
  it to Almery in one piece, or he is a hero, risking life and limb in the service of his home. He has been given
  half the money up front to secure those mercenaries, so what is he going to do with it? That depends on
  what his attitude towards the quest is. If he’s one of those irritating do-gooders, then he’s going to do his
  best to keep it safe and use it only for the purpose for which is was intended, even if he should get side-
  tracked somewhere along the way, say by some other adventurous types he might just happen to bump into.
  If, on the other hand, he is fairly fed up with the whole situation and really could not care less about the
  town, then he is set for the ﬁne life for a while at least. How about when or even if he gets
  back? If he comes riding to the rescue with the mercenaries in time, then he is going to be
  popular. If he is late, heaven help him if things have deteriorated. What if they have to send
  out a party to ﬁnd out where he has gone with all that money? I am sure you can work out
  what the general reception would be like and it is not pretty. There is also his attitude
  towards other people. He could be an insufferable prig if he regards himself as a great hero,
  bending anyone and everyone’s ears with tales of how bold and fearless he is. Then again,
  he might be highly embarrassed by the whole affair and merely mumble when asked about
  his great quest, rapidly changing the subject to virtually anything else.
  Back in the mists of time, a man battered by travail arrived at the village of Respis. The villagers took him
  in and nursed him back to health. In return for their help, he promised to aid them, provided that every
  year the strongest young people of the village undertook a quest to bring him the rare and beautiful quottle,
  which lived in the mountains far to the South. As long as they performed this duty, he would use his
  magical skills to preserve the villagers from sub-human ravages and the worst effects of nature. He has kept
  his word for every year a quottle has been delivered to him, which surprisingly enough has been pretty
  much every year since he got there, with the occasional notable exception. None of the villagers knows
  what he does with the creatures and there certainly has not been a local quottle population explosion, but
  as long as they are safe, they are not really that bothered. Our heroine is due to come of age at the time of
  
  21
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  � The Dying Earth Needs You �
  the “Quottle Quest” this year. Taking the quest will assure her passage into womanhood. Unfortunately, she
  is also the only person to come of age this year so it pretty much looks like she is going alone. As in the
  “good of the village” scenario, her attitude to this is very much going to depend on whether she agrees with
  the ritual. If she respects her elders and can see how much good the mage’s protection has done for her
  people, then she’s probably going to be thrilled and see it as a great responsibility, no matter what the
  personal danger (although I’m sure the mage could lend her a protection amulet or two because she is on
  her own). On the other hand, if she is a rebellious youth this could be the ﬁnal straw as far as all those
  fuddy-duddies are concerned. Wander off alone into the wilderness to get some poor creature that probably
  ends up getting its neck wrung? Yeah, right! Of course, if she is suitably cunning, this could be just the
  chance she needs to experience the world. She has always been good at blufﬁng, so if she comes back she
  will have a suitably outlandish excuse. Again, her attitude towards other people is going to vary depending
  on her views on the quest. Either way, she will probably be quite respectful of mages because she has seen
  their work in action. It may even have inspired her to seek one out for training (after the quest is
  completed, obviously, if she is a good girl). The believer may be bold and brassy, supremely conﬁdent in her
  dealings with others because she knows the importance of her quest, or she may be quiet and serious,
  allowing little to distract her from her goal. But is she easily led? Will her head be turned by the bright
  lights of the many towns she will have to pass through on her quest? How will all those interesting, funny,
  loud and often dashing people react towards her? She will have to wait and see.
  �
  In an isolated valley, high in the mountains of Fer Aquila, hidden away
  from the rest of the world and accessible only through along, dark tunnel,
  lies the village of Aﬂif. It’s a peculiar place, when all’s said and done.
  Despite appearing to be rational folk, who all live healthy, fulﬁlling lives,
  the natives have the strange belief that when they reach a certain age, they
  die. Not that they drop down dead, nor that they ritually kill themselves but
  they die all right (but not so as anyone else would notice). Not that anyone
  would notice, because no outsiders have ever been to Aﬂif. At sunset on the
  day a villager reaches the age of death, everyone in the village gathers at the
  entrance to the tunnel to enjoy the almighty party that the soon-to-be-
  deceased is throwing. At the end of this party, the marked man drinks from
  the sacred ﬂask and lies down to die in the entrance of the tunnel, out of
  sight of his fellows, who pay their last respects and leave. When he wakes,
  he has journeyed to the after-world and must make his way up the tunnel to
  the realms of death, where he is at liberty to wander and experience those
  things he has worked hard for during life. Of course, he is not really dead,
  but he thinks he is and belief is a powerful thing. He can interact with
  anything he comes across because to him the Dying Earth is the after-world,
  there for his pleasure and enjoyment. Because of the way these villagers
  enter the real world, they are all above a certain age. Bizarrely, because he is
  convinced he is already dead, his attitude towards personal danger is
  particularly lax but for some odd reason it seems to work and danger has a
  way of avoiding him, or just becoming so confused it gives up and wanders
  off. As far as other people are concerned, he is a benign older gentleman,
  with a gentle attitude towards everything and the impression that he is
  aware of a particularly amusing joke that he has not bothered sharing with
  anyone else. Yet. He seems to enjoy all that he is exposed to and it will take
  a lot to get him angry (although anything that truly upsets him in this, his
  personal utopia, is liable to really catch it). What if he should return to the
  
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  22
  � The Dying Earth Needs You �
  village? It’s unlikely that he would, under his own steam at least. If he did, everyone would be very afraid of
  this ghost that had come back to haunt them. The same goes for any outsider discovering the well-hidden
  entrance to the valley. The residents of Aﬂif have never met an outsider and will think they have come from
  the world of the dead to torment them.
  �
  The last thing you really want to happen to you in the town of Hozyg is to be born a twin. They have very
  odd ideas about twins, especially identical ones, of which they have a very high incidence. Tradition has it
  that twins are sundered spirits that lure other vengeful spirits to the town to wreak havoc. Whilst they are
  children everything is okay, as the spirits cannot smell children properly, but once they reach maturity, one
  twin must be sent away or the whole population will suffer. The time has come for our set of twins to be
  separated. It has been decided that the eldest, more wayward child (who has obviously been trying to get
  the spirits here early) will be expelled. Her sister has always been pretty well behaved and will be an asset
  to her people, unlike this one. They are only a small community and really cannot tolerate troublemakers.
  It’s not as if the child is going to be cast out without any aid – they have trained her to fend for herself as
  part of the ritual of expulsion and she has been given money and a map to the nearest large town
  (approximately two weeks walk away). What is our child’s attitude towards her town? I do not know about
  you, but I would feel pretty resentful of someone throwing me out of my family with a total ban on my
  return home. The townsfolk are afraid of her because they think her continued presence is going to bring
  disaster on them all. The sense of hysteria has been growing since the twins began to reach maturity and,
  except for her sister, they are going to be very relieved when she is gone, even her parents, who have been
  regarded with suspicion since the twins’ birth. What is her attitude towards other people? She probably is
  not going to trust too many people and is going to be very self-reliant. On the other hand, if she does ﬁnd
  someone she trusts, she will probably follow them to the ends of the earth. Any betrayal of that trust would
  break her heart and could make her a very dangerous person to be around. There is possibly quite a chip on
  her shoulder and she is going to have a very cynical attitude towards most relationships, especially as her
  parents were only too pleased to get rid of her. What if she should go home? Bad move - her life is forfeit if
  she is caught as that’s the only way to stop the spirits coming to ﬁnd her. Should she try to go back in
  disguise, she will probably get away with it, but even her beloved sister would be afraid to talk to her. What
  do the townsfolk appear like to outsiders? Intensely superstitious and should any visitors be twins, then
  they will be ushered out of town very swiftly indeed.�
  On the other hand, the town of Hezyg in the next valley regards twins as a great blessing. What a
  marvelous opportunity they represent. They think their neighbors in Hozyg are very odd and have been
  known to take in children from that village out of a deep sense of sympathy. If they can get both twins
  when they are still tiny, then they will raise them as their own. Oddly enough, the end result will be the
  same: one twin will be expected to leave for the beneﬁt of the village, but they do so with a blessing and the
  chance to experience anything they wish to before they are welcomed back with open arms. The residents
  of Hezyg also believe that each twin has half a spirit, but that merely means that one half can stay at home
  and help with the chores whilst the other can go off, explore for a while and then bring back news and
  great tales to the town so that all the inhabitants can beneﬁt from a life of travel without having to leave
  their safe and cozy homes. To ensure that there are a minimum of hurt feelings, the twins are encouraged to
  decide between themselves who should travel and who should stay, but occasionally the decision has to be
  made for them. Our twins could not decide who should go and it has been decided that the youngest, who
  always had the more inquiring mind, should be the one to make his way in the world. Needless to say, the
  elder is resentful because that means he has to stay at home and do all the hard work while his brother
  gallivants about the land enjoying himself. After a feast, the youngest boy is sent on his way having been
  trained how to fend for himself, given money, a map and some good stout boots for his trip. How will he
  treat others? Probably with immense curiosity – after all, he has been sent out to ﬁnd out about the world
  
  23
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  � 
  Well then, there you are, a few ideas on how to create a home and a frame of reference for your character that
  did not require reams of paper or several years of your GM’s life to read. Please do not feel limited by the
  examples above – use your imagination to come up with your own unique slant on your personal history. A
  little bit of thought before you start play will not only enrich your character by giving him a reason for his
  actions (after all, everyone in the Dying Earth stories has a motivation for what they do),11 but it also allows
  you to take an active part in deciding where future stories may lead you and your compatriots. So, get that
  pencil out and start scribbling. 
  for his town. That does not necessarily mean that he is some sort of comedic bookworm, nor a total
  innocent abroad. He may be rather intense, questioning people to within an inch of their lives, which could
  mean that if his reputation gets around, people avoid him unless they have several hours and nothing better
  to do. How will others treat him? That depends very much on his attitude towards his information
  gathering. As with our thrill-seeker, he may be studious or hedonistic and that will greatly inﬂuence other
  peoples’ attitudes towards him. What if he goes home? Every twin sent out from Hezyg is expected to come
  home at some point, but there is no time limit on their wanderings. Occasionally some never return, which
  is a cause of great sorrow in the town, both for the loss of a citizen but also the loss of their information.
  Any twin returning home is welcomed with much celebration, but is expected to return to the normal work
  of the town. This has been cited as one reason why some never go back. In some rare cases, the other twin
  will be allowed to go traveling if it is thought that the ﬁrst twin did not bring back valuable enough
  information. The ﬁrst twin will always be regarded as somewhat of a failure in those circumstances, to the
  great shame of his family. Anyone who brings back very valuable information is going to be treated as a
  hero, so there are other motivating factors towards him making a success of his time away.
  � The Dying Earth Needs You �
  11. It just may not be a very creditable motivation. Here we merely chronicle, it is not our place to pass moral judgments.
  WAKDUN THE PANDERER
  PURVEYOR of EROTIC APPURTENANCES & GENTLEMEN’S REQUISITES
  “Elegance in all things”
  Cofﬂe Irons, Manacles, Fetters, Chains and neck Collars. 
  Damascened, insculpted and chased.
  For an extra twenty terces they can be further personalised 
  by having the name of your choice engraved.
  
  A New and Accurate Map of the Known World
  compiled from accounts of 
  the Dying Earth
  by sages, scholars and other widely travelled persons
  Here is painted a Suitable Map in which the
  location of Settlements, Mountains, Rivers,
  Islands and other features are most precisely
  arrayed for the education & delectation of
  Persons of Quality.
  
  scala miliarium
  40
  0
  80
  120
  160
  200
  
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  26
  F
  or as long as there have been disagreements and misunderstandings,
  there has been a demand for asylum and a proﬁt in providing it. In the
  lands of Almery, Ascolais, Kauchique, and the Falling Wall, the discerning
  fugitive makes her way to Efred.1 Of all the world’s communities, it is
  only in this city that a refugee can buy herself complete security.2
  For time out of mind, Efred’s rulers have guaranteed complete immunity
  from abduction and assassination. Anyone who goes through the gate
  may remain inside provided she respects the residents’ right to the quiet
  enjoyment of their lives, and for as long as she can pay.
  Well-used tracks from Cuirnif, Lumarth, and from Bandits’ Gap at the
  headwaters of the Derna lead to the safe haven. Besides the ubiquitous
  deodands and pelgranes, travelers on these roads can expect that fortune
  hunters and thief-takers will take an interest in them. This attention
  increases as the wayfarers near Efred, where hedgerows, haystacks and
  copses provide hiding places and vantage points for ambushers. Likewise,
  the ruined suburbs and market gardens that skirt the town offer
  concealment to attackers.
  The roads meet two bow-shots south of Efred3 at the inaccurately named
  Three Way Stone; a causeway leads up to the town. A large inn, The Last
  Peace, stands at the junction of the Efred and Lumarth roads. 
  Efred’s high, moated wall wraps round the entire site; its only gate stands
  between two sturdy towers. Behind it the buildings rise on a low steep hill
  at the western edge of the Plain of Red Flowers. A spiral street coils its
  way clockwise from the gate to the vertex, where the lord’s Palace, the
  Temple to the Revered Ancestors, the Hall of Justice, and the Grand
  Orpheum surround the market square. Private houses and struggling
  businesses line the road. Most are in use; over time the residents
  evacuated the suburbs outside the wall and are now settled in what used
  to be a citadel. The buildings are tall, shallow and thin, relying on each
  other for support. They are built of a mixture of materials; wood, a
  cemented aggregate of ﬁst-sized stones, or stone from older buildings. 
  Efred’s gate is only open from dawn to dusk, and its guards have a picket
  for night time emergencies. They work exclusively from the right hand
  tower; the left hand tower is an inn for thief-takers, the Keen Deodand. 
  When travelers enter, the sentries draw their attention to a roofed cage
  inside the gate and to the right. It holds an assortment of sullen and badly
  beaten people: criminals awaiting expulsion. The guards then refer the
  new arrivals to Thubwal the Assessor, who keeps an ofﬁce immediately
  � Efred, City of Sanctuary �
  David Thomas
  “The woman cursed, sobbed, pleaded. At last: ‘I tell, I tell you all’ she cried. ‘Dellare has gone to Efred!’
  Liane relaxed his efforts. ‘Efred. So, in the Land of the Falling Wall.’”
  1. It has to be admitted that the less discerning tend to ﬁnd their way there as well.
  2. Cynics who wish to point out that a plenitude of funds can provide most things in
  most places should be shunned as persons of low breeding.
  3. This distance is not an accident.
  
  27
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  behind the left-hand tower. A line of people, clutching purses or their
  items, waits forlornly outside. One at a time they go into the ofﬁce. A sign
  over the door reads “Payments Clerk to the Right, the Assessor to the
  Left.” Thubwal has business in the square every morning, so early callers
  will have to wait.
  Thubwal, an open-faced, corpulent man with a thatch of light brown hair
  and a goatee, dressed in a violet frock coat, cream shirt and knee
  breeches, interviews all visitors. Based on what they tell him and what he
  reads in the enormous ledgers that line the wall behind his desk, he
  calculates their residence fees. He sets the rate at 1 terce a day for the
  rare, honest visitor and requires at least a tenth of the amount of the most
  recently posted reward from fugitives. If there is no reward, then he
  charges 10 terces for burglars, 15 for footpads and 30 for murderers.4
  These charges are cumulative and apply to each crime in any or all
  categories. The exiles should pay Mundrol, the clerk, every morning.
  Should the PCs protest at the cost, he will point out that any price is
  cheap where life is concerned, and that there are ample opportunities for
  persons of quality and experience to earn their keep. In any case, they
  have three days to make arrangements. As they leave his ofﬁce, the
  Assessor mentions, almost as an aside, that they might care to pay their
  respects to Wolness, Lord of Efred. “All of the town square is within his
  gift, you see.”
  The Town
  Exiles will soon learn that Thubwal’s claim that Efred affords ample
  opportunity is no exaggeration. The variety of enterprises, entertainments
  and diversions available in the town surprises many new arrivals. One
  building in three plays host to a business of some sort, or is ﬁlled with
  booths for lesser traders. Buskers, beggars, hawkers and pickpockets
  throng the street and dash through the rat-runs. Here and there work
  crews pour cement into holes in the road; Efred is an artiﬁcial hill, formed
  of earlier, ruined structures and is prone to shrinkage and soil creep in dry
  weather.
  As they climb towards the square, visitors notice two deﬁnite patterns. First, all the businesses are on the left
  side, so that their private rooms overlook the plain. Second, as one climbs, the houses become cleaner, grander
  and better maintained and businesses less unwholesome and more exclusive, the further they are from the gate.
  The residents indicate that this phenomenon exempliﬁes the principle that refuse runs downhill. 
  The Square
  Efred’s cultural and mercantile center is an irregular pentagon at the top of the hill. The spiral road runs
  parallel to its base and a line of long steps joins it to the plaza. The resulting terrace has a restaurant at either
  end, with tables and chairs set outside each. The Temple, the Palace, the Hall of Justice and the Orpheum each
  sit on one of the other sides. A large fountain, where clean water ﬂows into public troughs from the mouths of
  great pot bellied demon statues, stands in the center.5 Around it, petty merchants and mendicants solicit
  passersby. A closed hatch in the base of the southwest statue leads down to the pump house. The PCs might
  note destitute people coming and going through it, when the shifts change. Sometimes these workers spit,
  surreptitiously, in the fountain.
  � Efred, City of Sanctuary �
  4. t should be noted that Thubwal is by profession an accountant, not a moral philosopher. The fact that taking a life is equivalent to
  three petty burglaries worries him not one iota.
  5. A complex system of buried pipes carries water from the base of the largest of the public troughs, providing an occasionally erratic
  supply of water to some of the better private houses and to several lesser municipal water spouts.
  � THUBWALL THE ASSESSOR �
  “Circumstances that might have
  counted in mitigation do not
  inﬂuence my calculations, which
  are exact and impartial.”
  Thubwal has warm relations
  with bounty hunters; he pays
  them for accurate information
  on fugitives at large and the
  rewards offered, so that he may
  set a fair price for asylum. He
  also posts notices of imminent
  expulsions from the town.
  Marcis and Lonson, the
  proprietors of the Keen Deodand
  report their guests’ gossip to
  Thubwal as soon as their shifts
  are completed. The Assessor
  takes an extremely dim view of
  false reports and keeps careful
  records of who tells him what
  and is fastidious about scolding
  the faithless.
  Ratings: Persuade (Glib) 12,
  Rebuff (Penetrating) 12, Attack
  (Caution) 6, Defense (Parry) 6,
  Health 2, Appraisal 12,
  Scuttlebutt 12, Stewardship 12.
  Resistances: None
  
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  28
  Townsfolk and strangers alike go to the square to witness justice, explore spirituality, enjoy culture, and wonder
  at aristocratic magnanimity. These diversions happen frequently, as people struggle to remain in the town.
  The Lord’s Palace
  Wolness, Lord of Efred lives in a magniﬁcent three-ﬂoor rotunda, with a central dome a hundred feet across,
  and seven minarets spaced evenly around its circumference. There are chambers, all thirty feet across between
  the exterior wall and the central hall. The building is of black basalt, inset with rose marble and mica. Three
  broad steps lead from the square to a pair of studded, lead-bound ebony doors, where there are always four
  soldiers on guard. 
  The sentries check all callers against the visitors’ book and admit anyone who has not yet met Wolness. Persons
  who have visited the Lord before are only admitted if they have a written invitation or a persuasive manner.6
  The guards instruct callers to walk through the inner doors, twenty feet away, and into the main chamber. This
  central hall reaches up three ﬂoors; arched doorways, balconies and loggias overlook it. Its ﬂoor is gray-wood
  parquet; banners and ﬂags hang from the walls. A pair of lamps, one green, one blue, burns one on each side of
  every door. If a room is occupied, a purple lamp in the keystone lights magically.
  Callers ﬁnd Wolness in the central hall. He is a pale, ﬂeshy, jovial, bald man, barefoot in blue and white
  breeches, blouse and waistcoat, lounging on a scarlet couch on a dais. When the PCs come in, he is reading the
  law reports and chuckling over the capriciousness of the current judge, Pentile. Footmen and serving maids
  cluster around the dais, holding trays of refreshments, papers to sign and books to read.
  Robbing Wolness7
  The palace strong room is under Wolness’ dais and his treasure is kept in three pit-safes. The Lord and the
  Assessor keep the only keys. The other precautions against theft are simple; there are two guards in the strong
  room, and the safes rest on delicate rocking mechanisms. If anything other
  than a key disturbs a safe, then a net falls from the ceiling and metal arms
  with barbed hooks snick out from the ﬂoor around the pit. These attacks
  are respectively Cunning and Fast 13, and are intended to catch, not
  injure felons. Successful thieves would ﬁnd that there is rather less in the
  safes than they might have hoped. Flat buttons covered with gold leaf
  instead of terces and brummagem and knickknacks (such as minuscule
  armies carved out of wood or teeth and lead-lined cups with demon claws
  clasping their bowls), instead of magical adjuncts. Wolness keeps his real
  treasure inside his mattress, where Snook, an apparently synthetic
  paramour, guards it.
  Wolness, Lord of Efred
  Wolness will ask the PCs to explain how they came to Efred. He will then
  establish what they can do. The Lord has the discretion to waive the usual
  residence fee and will do so, provided that the adventurers have skills or
  attributes that interest him. GMs should allow the PCs to audition for the
  Lord. If they are pedantic and arbitrary, he will assign them to the courts.
  If they witness an unusual religion, he will send them to the temple. If
  they have any artistic talent, then he recommends the Orpheum. If they
  are especially likable (i.e. if they possess a lower level of Gambling than
  he does or if they can Wallop him at Etiquette, Pedantry, or Seduction) he
  will invite them to stay in the Palace with him. The PCs will retain these
  positions, whatever they are, until they achieve a Dismal Failure at
  whatever skill impressed him (or, obviously, if the GM has things for them
  to do). When they are ejected, they will ﬁnd themselves at the mercy of
  the marketplace.
  � Efred, City of Sanctuary �
  6. The guards are recruited from the Provosts and their statistics are given when provosts are discussed.
  7. We include this purely for the sake of completeness. It is obviously an idea that would not occur to any of our readers.
  � WOLNESS, LORD OF EFRED �
  “Your prospectus says that you
  are droll and sardonic. Feel free
  to demonstrate.”
  Ratings: Persuade (Eloquent) 13,
  (Charming) 8, Rebuff (Obtuse)
  13, (Pure-Hearted) 8, Attack
  (Finesse) 8, Defense (Parry) 8,
  Health 4, Athletics 2, Etiquette
  8, Pedantry 3, Seduction 3,
  Wherewithal 3. Wealth 12.
  Resistances: None
  �
  � SNOOK �
  Ratings: Persuade (Charming)
  15, Rebuff  (Penetrating) 8,
  Attack (Cunning) 8, (Strength) 3,
  Defense (Vexation) 8, Health 8,
  Athletics 8, Etiquette 8,
  Seduction 15, Wherewithal 8.
  Resistances: All Ω
  
  Snook
  There are two Snooks, one at the Palace and one at the Temple. Each has
  a slim, lithe body and creamy skin. The Palace Snook has purple hair and
  violet eyes, the Temple Snook has saffron hair and amber eyes. Each
  wears a shimmering, diaphanous silk chiton, held secured by a sun-disk
  brooch at her left shoulder and cinched at her waist by a belt of metal
  plates. She also wears two slim bronze bracelets. She is a construct
  provided by the Revered Ancestors for the security and comfort of the
  Lords and Priests of Efred. She is a mystical construct of some sort,
  perhaps an avatar of a Larval Age champion, rather than an actual vat
  creature. Should she be killed, another creature just like her rises from the
  cenotaph at the Temple on the next dawn.
  Temple to the Revered Ancestors
  This structure is to the left of the Square’s terrace. It is a barrel-vaulted,
  ochre marble basilica with a central cupola over a portico with six
  pilasters, and a large apse at either end. The inside is somewhat bare. A
  cenotaph stands between two pylons against the back wall, opposite the
  entrance, and a ﬂame of remembrance ﬂickers from an amber lamp-stand
  in each apse. Stairs lead down from the apses to a crypt and to the priest’s
  quarters. The temple ﬂoor has the names of all Efred’s children set into its
  mosaics; they appear magically when an infant is named in the temple.
  Embrasures line the walls; and an accurate star-map decorates the ceiling.
  As the only windows are high in the walls, by day it seems that the night
  sky ﬂoats above the temple on a ribbon of dark red light. 
  The embrasures contain very lifelike bronze masks of the previous lords.
  Although the masks are beautifully worked, only the most self possessed
  (i.e. those who make any Wherewithal success) will want to take them
  down and look at them. Should they do so, they will discover that a layer
  of preserved ﬂesh and pulverized bone lines each mask.
  These are the Revered Ancestors. When a Lord or Priest of Efred is about
  to die, or has become too irrational to control the town, Snook takes an
  oval bronze plate, heats it to malleability and presses it to his face. She
  then pounds his head into the cooling death mask from the rear, causing it
  to fuse with the metal.8
  The Revered Ancestors collectively bring stability to Efred. Kaldone, their
  priest has their counsel available to him at all times and they can
  empower him to cast spells on their behalf, for the good of the town.
  They also select a the new Lord or Priest, from the men currently in the
  29
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  � Efred, City of Sanctuary �
  8. The Lord’s co-operation in this process is not assumed. Also note that Snook can
  be arbitrary about her choice of when she regards the Lord as about to die. She is
  always correct, as having your skull pounded into bronze plate is always fatal.
  �
  Snook’s Bracelets
  This pair of thin bronze hoops
  only works when they are worn
  one on each wrist. They allow
  the wearer to cast the Charm of
  Brachial Fortitude twice a week
  and make her immune to heat
  for half an hour no more than
  one a day.
  �
  � KALDONE �
  “Please remember I am a priest.
  Trouble me not with over much
  religiosity”
  Tall and cadaverous, with
  tonsured, shoulder-length, white
  hair and white mustaches,
  Kaldone is the current priest of
  the Revered Ancestors. He has
  the accumulated knowledge and
  magical skill of all his
  predecessors so, provided that he
  remains in the temple (he has a
  chamber under the left hand
  apse, and simple needs), he has
  the power of an Arch-Magician.
  He does not possess any
  sandestins, but knows all the
  spells in the DERPG rule-book.
  Any successor will acquired
  these statistics within a month of
  assuming the position. Should
  the successor manage to avoid
  Snook and slip away, (in itself no
  easy task and she is indefatigable
  when in pursuit) their statistics
  revert to what they were prior to
  elevation. 
  Ratings: Persuade (Forthright)
  15, Rebuff (Penetrating) 15,
  Attack (Caution) 8, Defense
  (Intuition) 8, Health 8, Magic
  (Forceful) 20, Pedantry 20.
  Resistances: None.
  
  town. The provosts bring him to the temple for anointing.9
  The Ancestors are fully conscious of what goes on inside the temple and
  are keen to learn of events in the town, so Thubwal reads his ledger to
  them every morning. They also give advice, in return for a good story or
  artistic performance. On occasion, Kaldone will commission people to
  talk to or play for an individual Ancestor privately in the right hand
  crypt. It is an act of courtesy, which the Ancestor rewards, for the
  performer to take the mask out of its embrasure herself.
  �
  The Anointing Rod 
  This tulip-headed wand containing a small reservoir of magic oil rests
  on a rack above the cenotaph in the Temple. If a vacancy arises, it
  will make the next person touched by it into the Priest or Lord of
  Efred, as appropriate. Only the Priest can anoint a Lord, and vice-
  versa.10 Should the anointed abscond, the appropriate Snook will
  bring him back. 
  �
  The Hall of Justice
  Efred’s court stands between the Palace and the Orpheum. It is a domed,
  120 foot wide, square, Palladian structure with a magniﬁcent portico.
  Inside, two walls separate the central lobby from the Courtroom, to the
  left, and the Provosts’ Ofﬁce, to the right. The lobby has benches and
  notice boards. Every morning Thubwal posts the lists of entries to town,
  marriages, divorces, and expulsions here. There are also court lists and
  lawyers’ advertisements.
  The Courtroom 
  Booths for advocates and their anxious clients line the walls of this room,
  appellants to the left, respondents to the right. At the end, lawyers’ tables,
  a dock, and a witness stand face the judge’s bench and  the clerk’s desk.
  Pentile, a small, bald man with a face like a pelgrane’s, holds court alone
  from mid-morning until late afternoon. His summations are usually
  eccentric, sometimes Quixotic and often inexplicable, but he amuses
  Wolness.11 
  Pentile has four sentences available to him, corporal and capital
  punishment, restitution to victims, and expulsion from Efred. He often
  uses them in combination, and once required a dead wizard to animate his
  own corpse and exile himself.
  The Lord also appoints the lawyers and follows their progress with
  interest. He dismisses any that lose three cases in a row. Advocates
  attempt to select their own work, but Murne, the clerk, keeps a register
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  30
  � Efred, City of Sanctuary �
  9. It is rumored that the provosts also ensure that any bashful candidate does not
  ‘inadvertently’ miss his anointing or abscond later.
  10. It is assumed by many that Snook is the one who selects the candidates, making
  her wishes clear to Priest or Lord. She has not found it necessary to clarify the
  procedure and no one has found it necessary to inquire too deeply.
  11. A wise move. The reward on Pentile’s head is considerable, and the terms “dead
  or alive” are speciﬁed in connection with it.
  � PENTILE �
  “You have no advocate? Then
  you are poor and a fool, both of
  which may count in your favor: I
  am sentimental.” 
  Pentile is easy to ﬂatter. He can
  also be bribed, with money,
  goods, or services. He created his
  own vestments: a series of offset
  billed caps, which look much like
  a spiral staircase on his head; and
  an ankle-length gown of maroon
  fustian, with bells for buttons
  and a trim of snow-weft pelts.
  Ratings: Persuade (Obfuscatory)
  12, Rebuff (Lawyerly) 12, Health
  2 Pedantry 12.
  Resistances: None
  � 
  � MURNE �
  “Good day? 
  How can it be a good day when
  I must sit here dressed like a
  badly plucked table fowl!” 
  Murne is an old, thin, hollow-
  faced, irritated woman with
  hands made crooked by a
  lifetime of writing crabbed notes
  and furling vellum scrolls.
  Despite her protests, Pentile
  insists that she wear a white
  jupon and pantaloons
  underneath a black domino. 
  Murne cannot be bribed, but all
  other blandishments work well. 
  Ratings: Persuade (Forthright) 8,
  Rebuff (Penetrating) 8, Health 2,
  Pedantry 4, Stewardship 8, Resist
  Avarice 4.
  
  and ensures that all parties obtain representation. The lawyers will only
  work if their clients can pay, so many respondents must represent
  themselves.
  The Provosts 
  In addition to its indifferent soldiery, Efred has provosts, citizen-policemen
  who work for the court and the temple. Although the state pays, feeds,
  clothes and houses them, they are tough and dedicated. There are thirty of
  them, commanded by Provost Marshal Danidelles. They work in three
  shifts of six, a sergeant and ﬁve privates, with another twelve on court
  duties or held in reserve. The Provosts wear tawny busbies, swallow-tailed
  ochre coats, beige shirts and breeches, tan puttees, and dark brown ankle
  boots and belts. Their sergeants wear brassards and the marshal has a
  splendid, purple and yellow barred sash. The provosts’ usual weapon is a
  hooked partisan, but they also carry swords and knives and three
  Capture-Globes.
  The Provosts’ Ofﬁce runs along the entire left side of the Hall of Justice.
  The part nearest the front holds a counter and waiting area; behind it are
  desks and ﬁling cabinets, a holding cell and, at the back, Danidelles’
  private chamber and an interrogation room. 
  �
  Capture-Globes
  These egg-sized balls hang from the provosts’ belts on wire hooks.
  Each hook attaches to a boss set on the missile’s surface. Inside the
  thin glass, a cup of compacted thyle-dust encloses a dormant colony
  of necrogenous saw-termites. A sudden jerk on the wire drives a
  sharp nail into the insects’ queen, sending her enraged children into a
  mating frenzy. They burst out through the thyle-dust, which spreads
  in a cloud about ﬁve feet across. The termites themselves sink into
  the nearest living creature, driving their combined sting-ovipositors
  into it. Thyle-dust imposes a -2 levy on all actions until it is purged
  (unless the victim makes a Prosaic or Illustrious Wherewithal
  success, in which case the levy drops to -1 and 0, respectively).
  Despite their gruesome activities, the termites present no danger,
  serving mainly to disperse the dust.�
  The Grand Orpheum 
  Efred’s palace of the interpretative arts is a semicircle of seating cut into
  the hillock. A thin oblong building across its base holds costume stores, a
  library of the standard works, and driving-gear for the lifts, hoists and a
  revolving stage. Performances take place on the stage, or its apron, which
  can be lowered and ﬂooded if desired. Hopeful impresarios book the
  Orpheum from Cordandalus, the Commercial Director; when it is not in use, desperate artists rehearse their
  material and occasionally form impromptu companies to perform, either on the stage, or about the town.
  Wolness requires that some artists perform at the palace every night; Cordandalus selects them.
  � 
  31
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  � Efred, City of Sanctuary �
  � DANIDELLES �
  “Pray save your remonstrances
  for a more convenient time.”
  Ratings: Persuade (Intimidating)
  10, Rebuff (Lawyerly) 10, Attack
  (Ferocity) 10, Defense (Parry) 10,
  Health 6, Etiquette 1, Pedantry
  2, Perception 1, Scuttlebutt 1,
  Wherewithal 6.
  Resistances: (all) 3.
  �
  � PROVOST SERGEANTS �
  “Only a fool would even
  contemplate intimidating us. We
  are prone to acts of ﬁerce
  violence if provoked.”
  Ratings: Persuade (Intimidating)
  10, Rebuff (Lawyerly) 10, Attack
  (Ferocity) 12, Defense (Parry) 12,
  Health 6, Perception 3,
  Scuttlebutt 3, Wherewithal 6.
  Resistances: Avarice 2, Indolence
  1, Rakishness 3.�
  � PROVOSTS �
  “I suggest you raise that matter
  with the Sergeant.”
  Ratings: Defense (Parry) 10,
  Health 6, Perception 2,
  Scuttlebutt 2, Wherewithal 6.
  Resistances: Avarice 1, Indolence
  1, Rakishness 1.
  
  Surviving In Efred
  Residence
  Anyone who lives quietly and who can pay the Assessor’s fees can abide
  in Efred. So can people who marry a native. Ideally this should be a love
  match, but the marriage contract is clearly an asset and can, thus be sold.
  Both polyandry and polygamy are socially acceptable, so many residents
  have multiple partners, as does Wolness himself. A foreigner’s right to
  remain lapses upon divorce. This means that the natives support
  themselves by marrying fugitives, then divorcing them when the money
  runs out.
  Unless an Exile has private, but portable, wealth, she must make her way
  on the free market, touting whatever skills, qualities, and wares she has.
  At ﬁrst this should be role-played, but long-term survival can be presented
  as a series of contests of a PC’s chosen skill against the market. The
  market’s rating changes as people come and go, and can be determined in
  most cases by rolling a die. It should not be more than ten. If the
  adventurer wins the contest, she has covered her costs for a day on a
  Hair’s-Breadth, for two on a Prosaic, and for a three on an Illustrious
  Success. If the PC loses, then she is in arrears, one day for an
  Exasperating, two for a Quotidian and three for a Dismal Failure. When a
  visitor accumulates four days of arrears, she becomes destitute. Should
  this happen, the unfortunates ﬁnd themselves in front of the Assessor, who
  grants them a ﬁnal interview.
  The Final Interview
  Chronically impecunious persons have a ﬁnal recourse before the courts
  order their expulsion for vagrancy. They can throw themselves on the
  Assessor’s mercy. Thubwal will allow them to grovel, plead, blandish and
  wheedle at his feet. When he feels that they have done enough, he will offer
  them three choices; to perform distasteful personal services for him, to join
  the soldiery, and last, to work in the pump-room.
  Personal Services
  Characters who are Eloquent, or skilled in Imposture or Seduction may ﬁnd
  themselves entertaining the Assessor in his home next to the Square.
  Thubwal maintains a seraglio on the second ﬂoor and a symposium in his
  kitchen. 
  The Efred Soldiery
  “Your unreasonable behavior has caused me injury and distress. The
  Assessor will draw up an invoice.”
  The soldiers, who guard the walls, control the gate and walk the streets,
  wear red-piped white uniforms, comprising loose trousers, double-
  breasted white jackets, and two-tiered, billed caps. They carry whatever
  personal weapon they prefer and can afford and, at night, lanterns.
  They receive clothing, room, and board from the lord, but are otherwise
  unpaid volunteers12—many are themselves impecunious exiles—so they
  impose taxes and special levies on residents and visitors alike, with the
  Assessor’s assistance. Here their easily stained over ornate uniforms prove
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  32
  � Efred, City of Sanctuary �
  � CORDANDALUS �
  “You must understand that high
  art and commercial art are
  antithetical. An artist can either
  survive or create, not both. I
  choose to survive.”
  Cordandalus is an elderly ex-
  actor who has settled in Efred.
  His only crimes were artistic, so
  he pays very little to stay in the
  town. He is of medium height,
  thin and somewhat frail, with
  thick white hair. He tends to
  dress in faded black. 
  Ratings: Persuade (Forthright) 8,
  (Charming) 3, Rebuff
  (Penetrating) 8, (Pure-Hearted)
  3, Attack (Finesse) 8, Defense
  (Sure-Footedness) 3, Health 2,
  Imposture 8, Perception 4,
  Stewardship 8.
  Resistances: none
  12. We use the term volunteer loosely.
  � EFRED SOLDIERS �
  “Our remuneration is not over
  generous, hence our well founded
  delight when we chance to fall in
  with a person of proven
  generosity.”
  Ratings: Persuade (Intimidating)
  6, Rebuff (Lawyerly) 6, one style
  each of Attack and Defense at 6,
  Health 3. Athletics 3.
  Resistances: none
  
  33
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  very convenient; anyone whom they arrest can expect to receive an
  inﬂated reckoning, part laundry bill, part ﬁne.
  The Pump House
  Efred stands on the remains of a far larger, far older city that has been
  ﬁlled in with cement over the Aeons. This old metropolis itself stood on the
  large reservoir that is still Efred’s source of water. Raising the liquid to the
  surface is a major undertaking, so the Lords and Assessors have always
  delegated it to the scum of the city. These unfortunates gather in a chamber
  in the center of the hill and work ceaselessly to direct water through the
  fountain above them. Now that Efred has diminished in size to become a
  mere fortiﬁed town, the pool of available scum has all but dried up, so
  Thubwal substitutes vagrants. One hundred unfortunates work hand
  pumps in four shifts of twenty-ﬁve, and remain in place until more
  vagrants present themselves for service. The Assessor selects excess pump-
  hands with the longest service who ﬁnd themselves expelled from the town.
  Expulsion
  Persons awaiting expulsion tend to be dejected. They are without funds,
  their clothes are torn and frayed and the stink of the pump room is
  ingrained into every pore. Nevertheless, they offer some sport, if
  motivated correctly. Ranmode the Actuarian provides such
  encouragement. He is an adept bookmaker, who will take bets on how an
  expelled vagrant fares. To assure enthusiastic participation, Ranmode
  gives them 30 terces and pays for a night at the Inn of the Last Peace. If
  the vagrants agree to have a ﬂag on a pole strapped to their backs–so that
  spectators on the walls can better follow their progress–he will increase
  the payment to 70 terces.
  Provosts escort the unfortunates to the Inn an hour before dusk. The Keen
  Deodand’s patrons cluster in the doorway to watch them going past.
  Locations 
  Inn of the Last Peace
  This sturdy, long, single-story house has two entrances, towards and away
  from Efred. The usual patrons are travelers who arrive after sunset, so are
  forced to sleep outside the town. Occasionally, customers going in the
  other direction sleep there; persons who are no longer welcome in Efred
  may have a last night’s grace before running for their lives. 
  Lardane and her daughters Imenda and Duniss own and run The Last
  Peace. Their establishment has a pleasant terrace facing the Three-Way
  Stone and a modest bar at its other end, Between them are a common
  bunk room, latrines, and four private chambers available to guests. The
  Inn offers good rustic cuisine— cold cuts, thick stews, buttered greens,
  dried fruits, fresh bread and robust wines and beers—but its best known
  beverage is thresk, a tonic derived from Draken mushrooms that gives its
  drinker a sprinter’s speed and a wherriot’s stamina for three hours.13 
  When patrons arrive, the proprietors ask them whether or not they are
  � Efred, City of Sanctuary �
  � LARDANE �
  “You will ﬁnd nothing furtive or
  ﬂy-by-night in this
  establishment.”
  � IMELDA & DUNISS �
  “I must confess that I always
  had a soft spot for a well set up
  gentleman with a well stuffed
  purse.”
  All three are petite and shapely,
  with blonde hair and sea green
  eyes. They wear scoop-necked
  gray dresses and heavy white
  linen aprons. Should violence
  erupt, they keep weapons behind
  the bar. 
  Lardane Ratings: Persuade
  (Eloquent) 10, Rebuff (Lawyerly)
  10, Attack (Cunning) 6, Defense
  (Misdirection) 6, Health 4,
  Stewardship 10.
  Resistances: None.
  Imelda & Duniss Ratings:
  Persuade (Charming) 8, Rebuff
  (Obtuse) 8, Attack (Speed) 6,
  Defense (Sure-Footedness) 6,
  Health 6, Seduction 4,
  Stewardship 6. 
  Resistances: None.
  13. Or so it is rumored. It is also rumored that too regular consumption leads to
  chronic constipation, baldness and impotence . As such it is shunned by bounty
  hunters.
  
  pursuers or prey. If the former, they are referred to the Keen Deodand, an
  establishment at the town gate, dedicated to accommodating bounty
  hunters and thief-takers. 
  �
  Nets
  Thief-takers often catch their victims in large, strong nets. A net
  attack uses the Cunning style and entangles on a Prosaic or
  Illustrious success. Entanglement imposes a penalty on its victim’s
  attempts to attack, defend or even move: -1 if the net attack secured
  a Prosaic success, -2, if it was Illustrious. Each net will entangle one
  man-sized opponent and takes two people to cast it.
  �
  If any prey is outbound from Efred, Lardane arranges a formal breakfast
  for onlookers on the terrace and starts the fugitives running at dawn. As
  the bounty hunters must start from the Keen Deodand, the runners have a
  head start and should be able to make good their escape among the
  market gardens and ruins. This is less true for those who choose to wear
  ﬂags strapped to their backs.
  The Keen Deodand 
  The ground ﬂoor of the left-hand gate-tower has been converted into an
  inn, where those hoping to catch a fugitive on their way out14 of Efred
  may stay. Patrons enter through a postern letting onto the causeway.
  Inside there is a bar and some tables. Out of respect for bounty hunters’
  rough demeanors and simple tastes, the Keen Deodand serves beer, grain
  spirit, biscuit, and dried foods. It has no furniture of any kind, beyond the
  serving counter. A true bounty hunter shuns luxury.
  Marcis and her son Lonson take turns behind the bar. Both are Efred
  natives, who have never been out of sight of the walls. Their spouses,
  Bernax and Messine, respectively, work with them. All four of them adore
  stories of the lands and people beyond, and are voracious listeners. They
  allow no bad behavior, particularly, they will insist that their guests
  observe the correct procedures when fugitives are expelled.
  As noted in his description, Marcis and Lonson sell information for
  Thubwal the Assessor. Additionally, Thubwal has mounted a spy hole and
  a listening tube in the back wall of his ofﬁce which relies on the tower for
  support.15
  � 
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  34
  � Efred, City of Sanctuary �
  14. Once a fugitive has reached the gate, the guards, or other locals, will often protect them from bounty hunters, for a suitable sum.
  15. This reliance is both physical and metaphorical.
  � MARCIS & LONSON �
  “No, stay and talk the day away,
  there is much to be said for
  spending time in setting the
  world to rights.”
  Ratings: Persuade (Charming) 8,
  Rebuff (Pure-hearted) 8, Attack
  (Strength) 8, Defense (Parry) 8,
  Health 4, Scuttlebutt 10,
  Stewardship 10.
  Resistances: Rakishness 4.
  � 
  � BERNAX �
  “Traveled far, my good people?”
  Ratings: Persuade (Eloquent) 6,
  Rebuff (Wary) 6, Attack
  (Cunning) 6, Defense  (Intuition)
  6, Health 3, Concealment 8,
  Living Rough 8, Quick Fingers
  8. 
  Resistances: Gourmandism 4.
  � 
  � MESSINE �
  “Come, I will top up your glass
  while you continue with your
  tale.”
  Ratings: Persuade (Glib) 8,
  Rebuff (Penetrating) 8, Attack
  (Finesse) 8, Defense (Vexation)
  8, Health 6, Magic (Devious) 4,
  Etiquette 4, Imposture 4.
  Seduction 4.
  Resistances: Indolence 3.
  Spells: Charm of Another’s Face,
  Phandaal’s Mantle of Stealth.
  WANTED
  An aquisitions agent, capable operating with consumate skill,
  and absolute discretion. Inquire with great dispatch at Wittle's Inn, at
  Wittle's Crossroads. Look for the clean shaven man with the
  feathered hat.
  
  35
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  � Efred, City of Sanctuary �
  � DINING OUT IN EFRED �
  Efred’s cuisine falls between the complexity of Grand Motholam’s classic dishes to the simple purity of
  herdsmen’s stews and pottages. What makes food in the City of Exile distinctive is the mélange of styles,
  inﬂuences and savors introduced by forlorn gourmets who have ﬂed there from across the Dying Earth.
  From the ﬁrst, local entrepreneurs attempted to stave off their own destitution by offering the expatriates
  the ﬂavors of home. Inevitably, Efred’s very many talented cooks relied on local ingredients, so their
  efforts only approximated to the original dishes. Thorn-sage instead of talaxis for example, or wherriot
  haunch rather than loin of oast. Dissatisfaction with these efforts led to the Syntheticians’ Wars that
  marred the New Aeon celebrations and ultimately resulted in the New Cuisine, in which the chefs
  attempted to celebrate their city’s staying power and its inhabitants’ origins with respectful innovation,
  rather than slavish imitation. The results are usually rewarding, and sometimes startling. 
  GHOULS’ EYES
  Honey-spiced sausages in sour pastry, serves 10
  Make a standard ground-kasha pastry, add brewers’ yeast and leave to rise. While this is
  rising, mix honey, crushed k’teis blooms and white wine to form a marinade.
  Take ten spiced sausages, skin them and marinade for two hours. Drain and reserve the
  marinade, and keep the sausage skins. Roll the pastry to the thickness of ﬁne artist’s paper.
  Cut the sausages into 70 eyeball-sized pieces, roll into balls and wrap in pastry. 
  Take seven majan roots and slice crosswise to produce 70 rings. Press these into the balls, as
  if they were retinae. Roll up the sausage skins into long thin tubes and
  cut crosswise to form 70 “optic nerves.” Press them into the opposite
  side of the “eye” to the “retina.”Grease a baking tray and pour the
  reserved marinade into it. Float the eyeballs in it. If possible arrange the
  “eyes” into seven hexagons, retinae uppermost. 
  Bake for half an hour and serve with pepper-goarse and shrone-leaf
  salad. 
  � 
  � BUSINESSES IN EFRED �
  Efred’s commercial sector is very volatile, but the following are long-standing concerns.
  INNS AND TAVERNS: There are ﬁve hostelries between the gate and the Square. They are, in order of
  quality and altitude: the Manurian Sphere, the Blood-Lily, the Wizard’s Whiskers, the Principian, and the
  Decandile. All offer lodging and food and have some space for dancing and gaming.
  ENTERTAINMENT: Aside from the Orpheum, Efred has a dance hall, the Untine Rooms; a gambling house,
  the Fortunata; and a ﬁghting pit, the Hero’s Prize.
  SERVICES: Zaranda’s marriage bureau introduces interested parties for a fee. Ralpart and Broone,
  Scriveners, concoct documents of all kinds. Tubthwaite’s offers loans secured against personal property,
  and a ﬁne selection of second-hand goods.
  HEALTH AND SANITATION: Pashma and Ranto are doctors (Physician 4); Shanke and Prinze run a ﬁne
  bathhouse; Fuldine has a laundry.
  SHOPS: Most residents shop in the market, but Traggale, general merchant, sells hard-to-ﬁnd items and
  will attempt to procure curios to order. Bymane is a reputable and reasonably competent tailor ,as is
  Andel (each Craftsmanship 8).
  
  ADVENTURES
  The Singing Deodand
  The PCs come to a great bend in the road, which swerves away from a ruin. It is obvious from the lie of the
  land that they are now traveling along an offshoot; the direct route, perhaps two miles shorter, runs straight
  ahead. 
  Should the adventurers decide to investigate—whether from native curiosity, nightfall, or a sudden change in
  the weather—they will come to an old inn, half of its roof gone, and a derelict shell that was once a stable. Part
  of the inn’s ﬂoor has fallen into its basement. A strong smell of spilt wine rises from below, where someone is
  singing.
  The voice is pleasant and, perhaps, un-human (a Perception Success notes this). If the PCs call out, the singer
  will introduce himself as Tamm, a native of Efred. He will explain that he has fallen into the wine cellar,
  broken his leg and cannot get out; he is singing to keep his spirits up. Tamm is in no danger of starving—the
  place has an armada of casks, a mountain of ﬁne vintages, a great forest of sausages and huge pillars of
  cheese—but he is scared that this booty will inspire footpads with ropes to climb down, rob and kill him.
  Tamm hopes that the PCs are people of quality, who will pull him up and help him get home. Once he is out of
  the pit, he will have no need for his provisions, so his rescuers would be more than welcome to them. As an
  added inducement to treat him fairly, he will point out that as he is from Efred, he could help them settle into
  the town. Unscrupulous swindlers and merciless bounty hunters abound in the ruined suburbs and Tamm
  knows the secret way in.
  Everything that Tamm tells the PCs is the truth, aside from one point; he is not from Efred. He is a deodand.
  Should the PCs fall for his simple trap, he will attack the ﬁrst one to climb down to him; if they tell him to tie a
  rope around himself, he will do so, wait until they take the strain then pull them in. Tamm is strong for a
  deodand (Strength 3~). As his leg really is broken, he is not especially mobile (Athletics 0.5~).
  The PCs will be able to salvage some provisions from the cellar. The landlord had hung his preserved hams and
  sausages from the ceiling; the top three in each of the strands (48 in all) were too high up for Tamm to gnaw.
  The wines fared worse; the deodand smashed all the bottles and casks he could reach and sat in the resulting
  pool. He drinks the mixture from an antique crater. Again, some items were out of his reach. These included
  three bottles of fortiﬁed Porphiron and a bottle of locally distilled Tanvilkat brandy. If it survives the ﬁght, the
  crater will prove interesting. It was once the trophy of the Kaiin to Lumarth foot-race; a stylized procession of
  ﬁligree athletes runs round the inside of the dull-silver bowl.
  �
  An Ambush in the Ruins 
  “Halt, miscreants. You know me and I know you. We will return to Port Perduz, where you will sink into the
  sucking sands.” 
  A man in dark clothing appears in the middle of the road, barring the way, and orders the PCs to halt. If any
  player has emphasized that her character is being especially careful and observant then her PC will notice, on a
  Perception Success, that there is a shadow on the road ahead with nothing to cast it.
  The man is Arles, Thief-Taker General of Port Perdusz. He is under the impression that the PCs are members of
  the infamous Scarlet Cockade Society. Should they point out that they no more recognize him than he does
  them, or that they lack the eponymous hat ornaments, he will commend them on their disguises and glib
  tongues. If they attempt to overpower him, he will call upon his deputies, who have concealed themselves
  within net-cast of the road. 
  Before the ﬁghting becomes lethal, Arles realizes his mistake and apologizes, in all sincerity, for attacking them.
  He makes them an offer, in an attempt to right the balance. He would like to give them a commission within
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  36
  � Efred, City of Sanctuary �
  
  Efred. The Scarlet Cockade are vile
  land-pirates and thieves. They killed
  four deputies during their escape
  from custody and are apparently
  ﬂeeing beyond Arles’ reach. The
  bandits know Arles and his men,
  but they do not know the PCs. He
  will pay them 5 terces each a day
  for watching the Cockade for him,
  with an additional 100 terces a
  head if their assistance leads to the
  bandits’ capture. He will also invite
  them to keep the fugitives’ property,
  excepting those items listed on his
  schedule of stolen goods
  (unfortunately, this contraband is
  long since gone, pawned to cover
  the gang’s expenses).
  Arles will assign his assistant,
  Cloto, to them as liaison. Cloto will
  wait at the Three Road Stone for an
  hour at dawn, noon and dusk
  (Arles will lend Cloto his shadow-
  stone). If the PCs ask for a
  description of the Scarlet Cockade,
  Arles will volunteer that they are
  “seven women who dress like men.
  They are scrawny and not at all
  agreeable.”16
  Approaching the Town
  “See, sir, there sir, a man lurks
  inside that culvert. I will delay him
  for 100 terces”
  “I can render the thief-takers ﬂaccid for a mere seventy terces”.
  “My six sons will block your pursuers’ way. A paltry ten terces each. They
  will taunt them for ﬁve.”
  As the PCs near Efred, they hear a bell ring out from the gate-house and,
  shortly after, people will line the walls, calling out and cheering. Attentive travelers will note that the locals are
  offering to impede either pursuers or the unwashed, armed gang issuing from the gate-house. These last are
  dressed in disheveled traveling clothes, seem very tired and smell bad. They are obviously not guards; there are
  four of those, dressed in white.
  Depending entirely on the needs of the GM’s story, the characters could simply walk into the town, narrowly
  escape a hard pursuit with the assistance of the local people, or force their way through a line of bounty hunters.
  Once inside, residents will approach them, requiring payment for the services that they claim the PCs used in
  gaining the town. At some point, the PCs could receive a writ for default on these contracts.
  37
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  � Efred, City of Sanctuary �
  16. Arles is not a good judge of female beauty, or perhaps his knowledge of their characters has blinded him to their physical
  attributes.
  � Cloto �
  “Do not seek to persuade me. I
  take my master’s guidance in all
  things.”
  Ratings: Persuade (Forthright) 6,
  Rebuff (Obtuse) 6, Attack
  (Finesse) 8, Defense (Parry) 8,
  Health 6, Stealth 4.
  Resistances: Gourmandism 2.
  Possessions: Cloto carries a
  rapier in a battered scabbard. 
  � 
  � THE DEPUTY THIEF-TAKERS �
  “Indignant protests inspire us to
  brutality; we are callous to
  blandishments and entreaties.”
  The deputies carry heavy
  cudgels, studded with hob nails,
  and large nets. There are two
  thief-takers for every PC, and a
  further pair to guard Arles’ back. 
  Ratings: Persuade (Intimidating)
  8, Rebuff (Wary) 8, Attack
  (Strength) 10, (Cunning) 5,
  Defense (Parry) 10, (Vexation) 5,
  Health 6, Stealth 4
  Resistances: Rakishness 2.
  � ARLES �
  “You are unconvincing; it is my
  experience that criminals are
  seldom honest.”
  Arles and his men are dressed
  for traveling, in wide-brimmed,
  starched black hats and thick,
  brown cloaks. They have bottle-
  green knee boots, dark gray
  breeches and umber shirts. Arles
  carries a rapier of blue steel; an
  etched rose and thorn ribbon
  decorates its blade. Its hilt and
  pommel carry a weeping face
  motif.
  Ratings: Persuade (Forthright)
  12, Rebuff (Obtuse) 12, Attack
  (Caution) 12, (Cunning) 7,
  Defense (Dodge) 10, (Vexation)
  5, Health 8.
  Resistances: Indolence 4.
  Possessions: Arles has a small,
  smooth, dull black pebble in his
  jacket pocket. This is a shadow-
  stone, a magical artifact that
  allows its user to blend into his
  own shadow. It works during
  daylight, for one hour in every
  four, activated by placing it
  under his heel, inside his boot.
  Characters can spot the
  incongruous shadow on a
  Perception success. Attacks on
  the shadow injure its owner.
  Possession Point cost 4
  
  The Scarlet Cockade 
  This infamous all-woman gang has taken up residence in the Bird-Carved
  House, a four-story building halfway up the hill. They have recently
  married its owner, Sermillon. He is a petty wizard with prurient tastes and
  a lively curiosity about the uses of vermin. Indeed, his main research
  interest is insect and rodent hybridization. When the Scarlet Cockade are
  not distracting him in the bedroom, they keep themselves safe from
  divorce by performing ﬁeldwork for him. 
  Fieldwork has two elements. First is vermin hunting, which sends the
  gang-members working through cesspools and waste heaps looking for
  rats, roaches and worms. Second is experimentation, where Cockaders
  release Sermillon’s creations and surreptitiously take notes of their effects.
  When not about their husband’s business, the Cockaders do their best to
  swagger through Efred, whilst avoiding the Provosts. They resent their
  present circumstances, and are looking for a talented forger, who would
  be willing to re-draft Sermillon’s will in their favor. Once this is done, they
  would also like to procure the wizard’s death. 
  The women wear the dresses their husband designed for them:17 off the
  shoulder, low in front and back, hobble-tight all over and laced up the left
  side. As Sermillon is somewhat short-sighted, he insists that his wives
  wear a different color of the rainbow each, to assist identiﬁcation. The
  Scarlet Cockade does not follow his scheme with any diligence, but he
  thinks that they dress in red, orange yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet,
  in the same order as their names (see sidebar p14). Once they dressed
  alike in black bicornes, green breeches, heavily embroidered jackets and
  blouses, with black leather knee boots and belts, but the gang’s own
  clothes became threadbare and stained during their escape from the
  Chaing Estuary. Now, all that remain are bicornes, with the cockade on
  the right side. They retain their rapiers and daggers and exert themselves
  to acquire more suitable clothes whenever they go out.
  When doing ﬁeldwork about the town, they steal drying laundry, or strip
  sleeping vagrants to stuff their specimen sacks with clothes. Their current
  off-duty wardrobe is a mixture of skirts, breeches, pantaloons, shirts,
  jackets and vests from a dozen different cultures, all taken in, slashed and
  puffed by Farletta. The gang’s bicorne seldom tops the ensemble, instead,
  the women wear their cockade on a ﬁllet cut from the same material as
  their jackets or blouses.
  If the PCs are working for Arles, and feel that they will not be able to
  abduct the Scarlet Cockade themselves, then there are obvious stratagems:
  � If they observe the women committing crimes, they can report them to the Provost-Marshal’s ofﬁce.
  � If the PCs’ prey attempts to hire them to murder Sermillon, they can attempt to persuade him to divorce
  his wives, which will render them destitute.
  Needless to say, the Scarlet Cockade will take any attempts to interfere with their business very badly indeed.
  The Bird-Carved House
  For some reason, the songbirds that live in this building’s eaves peck portraits of themselves into its woodwork
  and masonry. Should the PCs investigate, they will ﬁnd that Sermillon has placed a small, enchanted mirror
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  38
  � Efred, City of Sanctuary �
  � SERMILLON �
  “I confess that my work has
  suffered since my nuptials. But
  they are such charming girls.”
  Sermillon is thin, bony and
  hairy. His food-streaked tan
  beard straggles to his waist and
  he wears his long tow-like hair
  piled on his scalp, held in place
  by a pelgrane-headed pin.
  His creatures are usually shrew-
  bodied, with an insect’s head and
  mandibles, although the wizard
  is rather fond of his giant
  roaches with mouse head and
  shoulders, and is particularly
  proud of the latest product, the
  front half of a rat at either end
  of a violet corpse worm.
  Regrettably, the practical results
  are discouraging; instead of
  embodying many-legged death,
  his hybrids, when released,
  attempt to curl up and sleep on
  the nearest heat source, whether
  a creature or a ﬁre.
  Ratings: Persuade (Obfuscatory)
  8, Rebuff (Lawyerly) 8, Attack
  (Caution) 5, Defense (Parry) 5,
  Health 3, Magic (Studious) 6,
  Pedantry 8, Physician 8, Wealth
  2.
  Resistances: Indolence 4.
  Spells: Behemoth’s Bounty, the
  Liberation of Warp, Lugwiler’s
  Dismal Itch, Spell of the Slow
  Hour.
  17. In all candor, this is usually a mistake.
  
  among the nests. Anyone who looks at it, and who
  does not achieve a Wherewithal success with a
  bonus of 2, will spend the next day trying to incise a
  portrait of himself into the nearest unmarked
  surface. The wizard likes the way the little birds
  attend to his house and will make serious efforts to
  recover his mirror, should anyone steal it.
  The mirror is worth 6 Possession Points.
  Ennui in the Temple 
  Some Revered Ancestors decide that they would like
  to see the lower town for themselves, and so arrange
  with Kaldone for suitable escorts to take them out
  for the night. The priest has the PCs sent to him and
  asks them to don the relevant masks. If they do not
  do so willingly, then he has provosts pinion them,
  and applies the bronze faces to them. Being sticky
  on the inside, the masks adhere to the PCs faces
  readily. Unfortunately, they interfere severely with
  speech, and so impose a penalty of 2 on Charming
  and Eloquent and of 1 on all the other Persuasion
  styles save Intimidating, which instead gains a bonus
  of 1.
  The masks then ask the PCs to behave as they
  normally would. They are bored with the temple
  and want to see how the little people live.
  Depending on the GM’s whim and the needs of the
  story, the night out with the Ancestors can be odd,
  depraved, embarrassing, or even constructive. An
  obvious advantage is that, if the PCs take the time
  to get to know the Masks, the ancestors will not
  nominate them as Lords or Priests. 
  The masks should not overmatch their wearers; but
  GMs should allow the masked PCs to make free
  with cantraps, curses, and blessings and perhaps
  should give the former Priests a simple spell or two.
  APPENDIX: SECONDARY STYLES IN EFRED. 
  It is a sign of quality to work seldom, if at all. Only
  the Lord really manages this, although the huge number of skilled, eager-to-please exiles certainly make leisure
  time very pleasant. Most of the people, native and fugitive alike, have two different personae, one for work and
  one for play. Usually, the inhabitants work persona is Charming and Pure-Hearted, while on their own time,
  Efred’s people are far less agreeable. PCs could, with the GM’s permission, develop secondary Persuasion and
  Rebuff styles to represent this personality split. �
  39
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  � Efred, City of Sanctuary �
  � THE SCARLET COCKADE �
  “You will grasp the essentials of robbery soon
  enough.”
  Also known as the Seven Wives, The Scarlet Cockade
  is a seven-strong gang of women with similar abilities:  
  Ratings: Persuade (Intimidating) 8, (Charming) 3,
  Rebuff (Penetrating) 8, (Obtuse) 3, Attack (Speed) 10,
  Defense (Sure-Footedness) 10, Health 6, Concealment
  6, Gambling 4, Living Rough 4, Stealth 6.
  The gang members are Charming and Obtuse around
  Sermillon, as he prefers his women sweet and
  clueless.
  Resistances: None.
  VASMA (blonde, blue eyes, tall, athletic) is the
  daughter of the Pandrex, Judicial Vivisector of
  Memex Farda. She learned some of his trade
  (Physician 2, Wherewithal 2).
  CALENE (red hair, green eyes, mid-height,
  voluptuous) was the apprentice factor to the Sea-
  Shippers’ Combination (Seduction 4).
  NONYIA (dark brown hair, amber eyes, statuesque)
  spent her time gossiping (Scuttlebutt 4).
  FARLETTA (black hair and eyes, statuesque) was once
  a seamstress (Craftsmanship 4).
  BESHNA (mid-brown hair, green eyes, petite) stole
  from the onlookers at public executions (Quick
  Fingers 4).
  DELUNE (silver-blonde, gray eyes, tall and slim) grew
  up alone in the Hall of the Obscure and studied its
  murals to pass the time (Pedantry 4).
  ASMAIS (red hair, gray eyes, mid-height, buxom) is
  the daughter of a swamp witch. Magic (Devious) 2,
  she knows Behemoth’s Bounty; Brassnose’s Twelve-
  Fold Bounty; and the Illusion of Vile Arthropods. She
  carries three sheets of vellum that detail their
  formulae rolled up in her sword-scabbard. PCs will
  notice its unusual thickness on a Perception success). 
  
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  40
  Scene 1: On the Road Again
  or
  “Far too many seek our company here, we should move on.”
  I
  n all likelihood, this adventure will begin almost as soon as you reach the typical conclusion of your last
  adventure. Your PCs are hastily ﬂeeing town with an angry crowd hot on their heels… 
  The PCs will be eager to avoid the wrath of the mob and although they do have a good head start, any other
  means to increase the distance between them and the town they have just vacated will be eagerly
  investigated.As the road rounds a corner, the PCs will come upon a man riding a mermelant and playing a
  jaunty tune upon some bizarre stringed instrument. Behind him is a string of mermelants who are following the
  rider in a neat line although there is no rope or lead connecting them. Each mermelant wears an ornate saddle
  that includes a large parasol that casts shade on the beast and any potential rider. Pause for a moment and let
  the scene sink in – and then call for an Indolence roll. If any PC mentions the idea of obtaining the animals to
  use as mounts before you call for the check, have them make the Indolence roll at a penalty of 1. Those PCs
  who fail their Indolence rolls will immediately desire to have a mermelant to ride on. Those PCs who succeed
  should be gently reminded that an angry mob is coming after them, and that if they could obtain a mount
  somehow, their chances of escaping are virtually assured. Some PCs will point out that mermelants are
  notoriously unruly and difﬁcult to control. You can easily counter this by pointing out that the rider appears to
  be having no difﬁculty in controlling his beasts. His team of animals follows obediently. In any event, all or
  most of the PCs should be eager to talk to the rider
  and make inquiries about the mounts. The rider will
  cheerfully stop if hailed, although he will not cease
  playing his instrument until he has carefully tied up all
  of his animals. As soon as he stops playing, the
  mermelants all sit or lie on the ground and begin
  grumbling about their ignoble conditions.
  The rider introduces himself as Viront Satelmorg, a
  wandering merchant and trader who is currently
  dealing in ﬁne mermelants. If asked about the
  instrument he carries, he will explain that it is a
  magical multi-stringed molan. The molan has the
  power to charm mermelants within earshot and they
  become docile and will willingly obey a rider or follow
  whoever is playing it. Quick to judge the PCs interest
  in obtaining mounts, Viront will start haggling with
  the players on a deal for the animals. All rolls against
  Viront will be at a levy of 1 because the PCs are under
  some stress to conclude the deal quickly or risk having
  their pursuers catch them (PCs may check their
  Wherewithal to remove this levy). Wise GMs should
  take this opportunity to relieve the PCs of any cash or
  valuables the PCs may have acquired in the recent
  past. If they try to buy the molan from Viront, a whole
  � Mermelants Unite! �
  Thomas Russell
  A Cugel-Level Adventure in Taxonomy
  The well-played molan is more characteristic of the
  court than the road.
  
  new round of bargaining will begin. Viront will be very reluctant to part
  with the item that makes his job so easy. Still, he can be persuaded to part
  with it, but it should cost the PCs dearly.The negotiations proceed, the
  PCs should wind up with at least one mermelant for each PC to ride.
  Viront will go to his personal mount and sweet talk it into coming along
  with him. He does this even if he keeps the molan since he does not want
  the PCs mounts following him instead of them. With calm, constant
  reassurances, he leads his mermelant down the road towards the town of
  the PCs last misadventure.With Viront gone, the PCs are free to mount up
  and ride to freedom. They will, of course, be hampered by the fact that
  the mermelants absolutely refuse to cooperate with their new “servants”
  until they have been properly groomed and fed. Playing the molan, if the
  PCs have it, will produce no change in the mermelant’s attitude (although
  an Illustrious Success will elicit some breezy praise from the mermelants
  and that PC will henceforth be referred to as “the bard”). The molan is an
  intriguing, but ultimately mundane item that was part of Viront’s cunning fraud. Viront can enchant animals
  but it is the function of a particularly efﬁcacious cantrap he uncovered and not any specialized magical item.
  The PCs will have to manage as best they can. �
  Scene 2: Getting There is Half the Fun
  or
  “I confess that at times I am uncertain who owns whom.”
  The mermelants purchased by the PCs fancy themselves to a royal court with the PCs being mere attendants or
  functionaries. They will make every attempt to get the PCs to do their bidding (which generally consists of
  demands for beer) and even when cajoled or forced into service, they will retain a haughty, arrogant air and
  will somehow attempt to deceive themselves into believing it’s all part of their “Royal Lifestyle”. Although the
  stats for mermelants are found on p170 of the Dying Earth rulebook, we suggest a slight change. Give the
  meremlants a Persuade (Eloquent) and a Rebuff (Lawyerly) of 2, so it’s not terribly difﬁcult to persuade them to
  serve as mounts. However, the mermelants’ Ability Pools refresh after 1 hour of labor as a mount or beast of
  burden. So there will be constant grumbling, whining and squabbling with the animals. Over the course of a
  day, the PCs will soon ﬁnd their own Persuade and Rebuff pools running dangerously low. Should they try to
  coax another hour’s ride from their truculent mounts, perhaps being left woefully defenseless for an upcoming
  social encounter or should they pander to the mermelants’ whims, possibly allowing their pursuers time to
  catch up? The choices will doubtless prove entertaining. Be sure to play up the individual natures of the “royal
  court” of mermelants. True, their personalities are no deeper than those of the PCs, but try to give each mount
  a particular quirk, desire, or trait. Tailor each mount to its rider and do your best to provide maximum friction
  between them. To help you in this regard, we provide the following stable of potential mounts:
  � His Imperial Majesty, Lord Sovereign of the Roads and Trails, Commander of the Four-Footed Watch,
  Scion of the Sun and Heir Apparent to Its Throne, Balsabubb Gormaple Thoristin the XXXVIII. He insists
  on being called by his full title at all times and also demands that any humans attending him always keep
  their eyes shut so as not to be blinded by his unearthly beauty.
  � Queen Mother Jezzaniah Folwipple DuClaire. She insists that humans attending her must sing when they
  speak and will draw any unfortunate she can into a lengthy discussion regarding her various parasites
  (although she will not allow humans to remove any of the more visible or accessible ones).
  � Earl of the Crooked Tooth, Neermalund Estingval Doon. He has the personality of a drill sergeant and
  demands military precision from his “adjutant”.
  41
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  � Mermelants Unite! �
  � VIRONT SATELMORG �
  “Of course we could haggle at
  leisure, I for one am in no real
  hurry.”
  Ratings: Persuade (Eloquent) 11,
  Rebuff (Penetrating) 7, Attack
  (Strength) 11, Defense (Parry)
  10, Health 6, Magic (Devious) 3,
  Athletics 2, Driving
  (Mermelants) 6, Etiquette 9,
  Living Rough 3, Stewardship 4.
  Resistances: None
  
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  42
  � Duchess Folina Meldissant Cordain. A vapid and idiotic creature, she regales her human with ﬂorid tales
  of romance and courtly love and insist that a cloak be spread over every suspicious patch of ground she
  might be required to cross, lest her delicate feet be injured or soiled.
  � Lord Gavinal Hormikal Bult. If he is to be ridden, the rider must drape himself over the saddle like a sack
  of grain. He fancies himself a botanist and will try to get humans to bring him any interesting item of
  ﬂora he spots. This often proves to be ﬂora with an appetite for fauna.
  � Grand Vizier Maloni. He believes himself to be a powerful magician and will take credit for almost any
  event that befalls the group as evidence of his potent arcane skills. He dictates his (wildly unworkable)
  magical theories to his ride, who must record them for posterity. 
  Let the PCs deal with their unruly mounts for a couple of days. The PCs should be able to make good their
  escape, but they will pay a fairly high price in peace of mind. When just about everyone is fed up, you can
  move onto the next stage. 
  �
  Scene 3: Welcome to Aldusfeld
  or
  “This was not the dramatic shift in fortunes for which I hoped.”
  As the party travels, they ﬁnd themselves menaced by a large party of deodands. The signs are subtle but
  unmistakable. The rustle of leaves and odd footprint soon gives way to low growls, glowing eyes, and
  eventually ends in headlong ﬂight. For once, both PCs and mermelants have identical agendas and there will be
  little grumbling as the PCs ride off at high speed. The PCs will discover that the deodands have planned their
  assault well. A second group of them has blocked the road and leap out in ambush. The terriﬁed mermelants
  veer off to the side and go bounding through the woods. After a few minutes of crashing through underbrush,
  they will crest a hill and ﬁnd themselves headed down into a small valley with a village at the center. From this
  distance, the only notable feature of the village is a large tower of some sort at the center of town.
  Unfortunately, there is little time to sightsee. The horde of deodands breaks from the tree line and the PCs will
  probably urge their mounts towards the safety of town.
  As the PCs ride down into the valley, the tower in the village suddenly ﬂares with a bright blue light, which
  bursts outward in a circular ripple of energy. The blue wave seeps over the PCs with a blinding ﬂash and they
  suddenly ﬁnd their mounts crashing to the ground. Have the PCs make Athletics checks to avoid being injured
  by the fall. When the PCs get back onto their feet, they survey a scene of devastation. Both the mermelants and
  the deodands lie sprawled about completely dead. At the lip of the valley, a few living deodands remain, but
  they are slowly retreating. None of the bodies bear any visible marks that indicate how they died, although the
  presence of magic must surely be suspected. At this point, several farmers will appear at the edge of some ﬁelds
  and hail the PCs. Their manner will be rustic, but friendly. They will welcome the PCs to the small town of
  Aldusfeld. If asked about the mysterious blue light that slew their mounts and pursuers, the farmers will claim
  that it’s a magical defense of some sort, but that they know little of such things, save that it protects them from
  attack. One of the farmers carries along a large backpack, which he now opens up. Inside are the farmer’s
  lunches along with a couple of bottles of wine. The farmers offer to share their midday meal with the PCs. The
  food is simple, but abundant and the farmers’ simple courtesy is hard to resist. Most, if not all, of the PCs will
  probably sit down and partake. Those who do not will be summarily brought low with a blow to the skull
  when the drugged wine takes hold of their companions.
  The PCs will be brought to with a bucket of cold water splashed on them. They are all lying in a stable of some
  sort and all wear a thick collar about their necks that tingles with magical energies. One of the farmers, Gil,
  will explain that the tower does defend the town of Aldusfeld by killing any non-human creature that enters the
  valley. Unfortunately, this includes pets, livestock, and beasts of burden. Hence, the village desperately needs
  people to provide the manual labor needed to sustain the town. The villagers have a long and noble tradition of
  � Mermelants Unite! �
  
  upholding human rights and slavery is abhorrent to them and so the PCs have been reclassiﬁed as mermelants,
  which poses no uncomfortable ethical dilemmas. The collars the PCs wear are also tied to the magical tower. If
  they ever move beyond the conﬁnes of the valley, the collar will discharge a lethal bolt of energy. Unknown to
  the villagers, the collars also impose a levy of -1 to any Magic rolls due to the interference it sets up. The PCs
  will then be herded out with the rest of the town’s mermelant population and set to various and unpleasant
  tasks. They will soon discover that the town does not rely solely on captured visitors. Most of the town’s
  mermelants are natives with only a few outsiders. What is particularly disturbing is how readily the other
  mermelants have fallen into their role. Their delusions and their desire for beer is every bit as grandiose as the
  PCs former mounts. Each morning, the mermelants are all herded into a central compound and the “human”
  population of Aldusfeld will come around and take as many mermelants as they will need for the day. Only the
  wealthiest citizens possess mermelants of their own and even they will supplement their stable with the public
  herd.The citizens of Aldusfeld will be almost
  completely immune to the PCs efforts to persuade
  them of anything. Their particular form of Rebuff
  will generally involve a sound thrashing. PCs caught
  trying to steal something (and be sure to give the PCs
  a chance to work at one of the wealthier houses), will
  be given a lashing and forced to spend several days
  working on particularly unpleasant jobs (dredging out
  a nearby river, clearing a latrine, or pulling rocks
  from a ﬁeld should do nicely).The PCs only real
  respite comes at sundown. As night approaches, the
  mermelants are returned to the common corral and
  then left to their own devices until sunrise. So long as
  the PCs do not intrude into someone’s house or make
  a general nuisance of themselves, they will be
  completely ignored by the citizens. Of course, as
  animals, they will hardly be allowed into even the
  most disreputable tavern in town. While escaping this
  predicament is the PCs primary goal, a few simple
  plot twists can easily be worked in:
  � Naturally, as new members of the herd, various townspeople will be quite eager to see how fast they are.
  A race is arranged between the PCs and the three fastest mermelants in town. Wealthy citizens own these
  mermelants and each will try their utmost to ensure that their beast wins. Plying the PCs with beer is the
  least of the tricks they may try. PCs will ﬁnd that the owners are much more susceptible to “advice” from
  mermelants at this time and may be able to inﬂuence events so as to attain a more comfortable servitude.
  � A recently captured outsider forced into the mermelant role attempts to organize a resistance among the
  rest of the herd. He may well be able to enlist the PCs’ aid in this matter. His plan is to organize a strike
  of sorts and simply refuse to work until his demands for freedom are met. It will take much effort on the
  part of the PCs to persuade the other mermelants (who are used to no other life). Should they succeed in
  creating a work stoppage, the citizens of Aldusfeld will simply open up several large barrels of beer and
  offer free servings to the mermelants. The majority of the herd (possibly including some PCs) will rush to
  glut their bellies on beer. They will grow belligerent as they become drunk, but at this point, the town
  guard will rush in with truncheons and bludgeon all the truculent animals. The next day, the mermelants
  will be back at work and the ringleader of the strike will be forced beyond the edge of the valley at spear
  point. The guard will return from the valley edge with just the collar.
  � Working at the mansion of a citizen, a PC may encounter the most beautiful mermelant they have ever
  seen. However, this particular mermelant is the prize possession of the owner of the mansion and is
  jealously guarded. Attempts to seduce this lovely creature will be difﬁcult, but true love (or lust) may yet
  win through.
  43
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  � Mermelants Unite! �
  It is true that hard labor alone never killed anybody,
  but it certainly inspires the laborers to consider ways
  in which such effort can be minimized.
  
  � By virtue of the tower, the citizens of Aldusfeld are effectively vegetarians (mermelant meat is considered
  far too tough). However, the citizens still eat a more luxurious and varied diet than their beast of burden.
  Put one or more PCs to the task of hauling in copious amounts of ﬁne food into a storage area, then send
  them back to the stables for their evening slop. Very likely a nocturnal visit for a midnight snack will be
  formulated. 
  �
  Scene 4: The Tower
  or
  “Our situation is dire, the time has come for extreme measures.”
  Eventually, the PCs will begin to long for the joys of the open road. To escape Aldusfeld, however, they will
  have to remove the collars they wear. There is no visible locking mechanism and talking to the other
  mermelants will reveal that once attached, the collars only come off when the mermelant wearing it dies. No
  key to the collar has ever been seen, although it has been rumored that one may exist in the tower. As long as
  the tower continues to function, the PCs will not be able to leave. The tower is located in the center of town
  and consists of a squat, stone, three-story base with a more slender two-story spire sitting atop it. There is only
  one entrance to the tower at ground level and no windows can be seen. The town guard has its quarters in a
  building across the street from the tower and the town council’s ofﬁces are also nearby. Despite the high
  number of guards and ofﬁcials present in the area, the tower itself simply has two rather bored-looking guards
  at the tower’s sole door.
  Getting past the guards, especially at night, should not prove too difﬁcult
  for the PCs. By causing a suitable distraction, it should be easy to draw
  the guards away from the door, and the PCs can then break into the
  tower. (As the door is locked, they may break in both literally or
  ﬁguratively). Inside, the PCs will ﬁnd that the tower is mostly open space,
  or it would be, if it were not ﬁlled with massive magical engines and
  machinery that stretch all the way up to the top. A large console, ﬁlled
  with buttons, dials and levers is prominently located off to the player’s
  right as they come in. The ancient machinery is probably well beyond the
  knowledge of most of the PCs. Those PCs who have a Magic or
  Engineering score may make some rolls to see if they can understand any
  of the equipment’s arcane operations. Those scoring Illustrious Successes will be able to determine how to
  deactivate the tower’s machines safely. Other Successes mean that the player has not made any changes, good
  or bad. A Dismal Failure will result in a painful jolt and one Wound will be inﬂicted on all the PCs in the
  tower. Other failures will produce odd or disturbing noises, but there will be no practical effect.
  PCs without any relevant abilities will simply have to work the console and hope for the best. Have each PC
  make a roll for every 3 rounds they spend working the console. On an Illustrious Success, they have shut down
  the tower’s mechanisms. On any other Success, nothing happens. On an Exasperating Failure, the PC receives a
  magical jolt for 1 Wound. On a Quotidian Failure, all PCs in the tower take 1 Wound. On a Dismal Failure, all
  mermelants in the village take 1 Wound and the authorities will probably become aware that something is
  amiss at the tower. PCs who are carried away in the passion of the moment may choose to simply smash
  random bits of machinery in hopes of bringing the whole thing to a halt. This is the best course of action. Any
  serious amount of bashing will quickly disrupt the machine and it will cease to function. It will also cause 1
  Wound to every mermelant in the village and the authorities will deﬁnitely be alerted when the chain-reaction
  caused by the PCs reckless behavior causes a series of ﬁres and explosions from the tower.
  As soon as the tower shuts down, the collars worn by the PCs (and all other mermelants) will snap open and
  drop off. If the PCs have safely shut down the machine, they will be dismayed to discover that a faulty power
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  44
  � Mermelants Unite! �
  � TOWN GUARDS �
  “Hey, you!”
  Ratings: Persuade (Intimidating)
  10, Rebuff (Wary) 6, Attack
  (Ferocity) 8, Defense (Parry) 8,
  Health 6, Perception 1,
  Scuttlebutt 2, Wherewithal 6.
  Resistances: None
  
  45
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  coil continues to glow and spark. The heat from the
  coil will damage an insulating rod and the sparks will
  ignite some ﬂammable gas within. Soon a series of
  mufﬂed explosions and smoking conduits will strongly
  suggest that the PCs take their leave of Aldusfeld
  immediately. Some PCs may be concerned that the
  deodands that originally forced them to Aldusfeld may
  prevent their escape. Nothing could be further from
  the truth. As soon as the deodands, hoons, gids, and
  other assorted beasts see the tower of Aldusfeld come
  crashing to the ground, they will come pouring down
  into the valley for a long-delayed meal. The town
  guard, having grown complacent because of the
  protection of the tower will ﬁnd themselves
  overwhelmed in minutes. With so many tempting
  targets to feast on, the PCs will have little difﬁculty in
  slipping away from the carnage and off into the night
  and on the high road to adventure once again.
  � Mermelants Unite! �
  Fortunately deodands are capable of informing the
  unwary of their own nature. The above may be a
  hoon or a gid, depending upon whether one believes
  the ecclesiarch Gaulph Rabi or the traveller
  Spontino, or something entirely different if one
  regards the dispute as indicating a lack of accurate
  information. As the preferred food of both hoon
  and gid (and indeed many other creatures) is human
  ﬂesh, those who encounter something resembling
  the above would be unwise to linger in hopes of
  resolving the confusion.
  The preparation of a CULINARY EXTRAVAGANZA for the most discerning of palates is no facile undertaking, and that
  gastronomic endeavour is made all but inconceivable when you lack the crucial garnish!
  When the tantalizing Suppuration of the Hispidulous Slig is infuriatingly absent in your kitchen, you need
  MOGLAMAR’S REMEDIAL COMMIXTURE!
  The subtle and piquant delicacy of 
  MOGLAMAR’S REMEDIAL COMMIXTURE 
  is surpassed only by the prodigious aesthetic of this luminous mauve tincture!
  MOGLAMAR’S REMEDIAL COMMIXTURE
  the preferred garnish of unsurpassed gourmands everywhere!
  Moglamar’s can assume no responsibility for unexpected and fulminating eructations that occur as a result of use of the Commixture.
  ☞
  ☞
  
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  46
  � Arcana � 
  To succeed in society in the last years of earth it is
  necessary to appreciate the better things of life.
  GRASHPOTEL looks deep into the bottom 
  of his wineglass and shares his erudition.
  Some Observations on the Hall of Ennis in the Gray Dene
  Introduction 
  Prior to embarking on this dissertation, it will be necessary for the reader to understand the basic nature of
  deity. Gods form sections of that group known to the Temuchin as Daihak. Broadly speaking, Daihak may be
  classiﬁed into three groups, each of which contains numerous sub-groups. The ﬁrst of these groups is the Great
  Gods, primarily Lah and Aea, who, under a multitude of names, represent the expressions of the male and
  female cardinas respectively. Secondly, there are lesser Gods and Demons, springing into existence through the
  force of human belief, and maintained in the same way. Generally, “Gods” and “Demons” are treated as two
  distinct types, but in practice there is no reliable way to tell the two apart, since the God of one sect is often the
  Demon of another. In the course of this dissertation we deal exclusively with the lesser God initially known as
  Ennis. For the full understanding of the origins of Ennis, a little historical background is required. 
  Towards the end of the third epoch of the Seventeenth Aeon, a male child was born to a couple of no particular
  signiﬁcance. They were bookbinders by trade, in the market town of Glaidenfrei, in what is now the Land of
  the Falling Wall. This child, Jendweist by name, displayed magical aptitude at an early age, and, in accordance
  with the habit of the time, was duly sent to the local wizard for
  assessment. Thus he became an apprentice, and after many
  years ascended to the rank of Mage and in due course, of Arch-
  mage. Jendweist was learned, quiet, and of a pensive nature,
  although of considerable power. Thus, when the war of Wizards
  and Witches came to his land with its attendant disturbance, he
  at ﬁrst thought to stand aloof, a tactic that only succeeded in
  drawing the antagonism of both parties. At last, after much
  travail, Jendweist ﬂed, not spatially, but temporally, to the later
  part of the Sixteenth Aeon, before the ascension of the ﬁrst
  powerful witches. In the Sixteenth Aeon, Jendweist found
  himself not merely one among a handful of puissant peers, but
  alone in his ability, with not a single rival capable of
  summoning a sandestin within a thousand miles. Inevitably, he
  became a person of signiﬁcance, and in due time found himself
  ruling a kingdom of moderate proportions, which he chose to
  style Jirilee. Despite his best efforts, he found himself resented
  by certain ungrateful elements of the populace, and thus was
  forced to safeguard himself and his vassals. This he did by
  binding sandestin to artifacts of regal signiﬁcance. Initially he
  bound the sandestin Voe to a wand of iron, creating Abvoea,
  with which he ruled effectively for many years. As Jirilee grew
  and prospered, Abvoea proved inadequate, and he was obliged
  to bind a second sandestin, Lentu, to a sword, creating the
  Jendweist is shown collecting paper for his
  father’s business in this engraving from
  Endber’s Hierology of the Xardoon Coast.
  
  legendary Cartlentua. Meanwhile, in the surrounding lands, and indeed in Jirilee itself, the worship of the God
  Yasdak had been growing. Yasdak was a jealous God, and his followers allowed neither dissension nor
  indifference, slaughtering all those who would not convert to the religion. Unfortunately, so fragmented was the
  region that no effective opposition could be mustered, and the Yasdak jihad grew until only the strongest of
  independent kingdoms remained in deﬁance, Jirilee among them. For years, Jirilee withstood the Yasdak
  onslaught, but the drug-induced fanaticism of the Yasdakites gradually wore the defenders down, not to
  mention sheer weight of numbers. At last the kingdom collapsed, Jendweist dying in the ﬁnal onslaught on his
  castle, to leave a single army in the ﬁeld, commanded by the hero Ghilandir, who wielded Cartlentua. Before
  long, Ghilandir too succumbed to the Yasdak hoards, ﬁghting a last battle with his back to a lake. On the eve
  of this battle, two important events occurred. Firstly, in an effort to rally his troops, Ghilandir declared
  Jendweist a God. Given that at the time of his death Jendweist had been several thousand years old and the
  most powerful individual perhaps in the world, this was readily believed. Secondly, Ghilandir had rafts built on
  which his female followers escaped, along with a handful of warriors. 
  For centuries the worshippers of Yasdak held sway, the priesthood growing ever more powerful and ever more
  detached from the commonality, with the worship of Jendweist a diminutive and hidden cult conﬁned to a few
  families among the peasantry. Yet their belief was strong, and thus the ghost of the dead Jendweist became
  eminent in Gray Dene, growing slowly in power. Within a matter of some three hundred years, Jendweist, or
  rather his spirit, had become a minor God.
  The Sixteenth Aeon: Birth and Growth
  Thus came into being the Feast Hall of Ennis, a great hall of stone, with a table at the centre, perpetually
  extending itself. At the head of the table sits Jendweist, with Ghilandir at his right-hand side and his faithful
  worshippers beyond, forever carousing. There are great haunches of meat, huge pies, platters of vegetables and
  fruits, all to be washed down with wines, ales and mead, in inexhaustible supply. Sylphs provide service, both
  gustatory and erotic. It is important to note the nature of the Domain created around the God Jendweist, or
  Ennis, as his peasant worshippers called him. When alive, Jendweist was of a gentle, scholarly nature, if regal
  and possessed of considerable magniﬁcence. Yet his Domain in Gray Dene has more of the character of his
  subsequent worshippers, primarily the vigorous, dynamic Ghilandir. Thus, rather than a garden paradise or
  ethereal palace, the Domain of Ennis is a feast hall, full of bold, roistering warriors and sturdy, rebellious
  peasants. The atmosphere is patriarchal, masculine, often coarse and not infrequently lewd. Not surprisingly
  therefore, Ennis himself, along with those few scholars who survived the fall of Jirilee and had the sense to
  accept their ruler’s ascension to deity, feel themselves somewhat out of place in their own Domain. 
  Thus and so, the Feast Hall became established, and as is the way of the Gray Dene, the Feast Hall expanded
  to accommodate new worshippers as they  died, thus the spatial dimensions of the Hall are analogous to time. 
  In due course, High Yasdak withered and fell, largely as a result of a proclamation that virgins alone could
  ascend to the Yasdak heaven. As the only organized group among a multitude of downtrodden peasantry, the
  47
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  � Grashpotel’s Arcana: Some Observations on the Hall of Ennis in the Gray Dene �
  Part of a frieze depicting the fall of Jirilee from the Temple of Old Ennis in Romarth.
  
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  48
  Ennisites successfully took over, establishing the
  Ahja-Khail Empire. This persisted for many years,
  and the Feast Hall once more began to ﬁll with
  warriors and noblemen, sages and wizards. Initially
  the worship of Ennis was restricted to the imperial
  family and their close associates, until following a
  complex series of events, huge statues of the God
  appeared in the great cities of Trojik and
  Plouvundiel. Thereafter, the worship of Ennis
  became general and the feast hall grew apace, now
  ﬁlling with all manner of men. The Ahja-Khail
  Empire fell in its turn, as Empires will, the victim of
  the arch-witch Phaetis, whose Gynarchic Paradise
  replaced it. It should be noted here, that Ennisism is
  an exclusively male religion1, and that the women of
  the Ahja-Khail Empire tended to worship Aea, the
  Earth-Mother. Subsequently Phaetis, after she had
  handed her earthly mantle to her successor, Llorio,
  herself become a Goddess. This ascension is
  generally considered to mark the juncture between
  the Sixteenth and Seventeenth aeons.
  The Seventeenth Aeon: Schism
  The end of the Sixteenth Aeon point marks the ﬁrst
  schisms of the Ennisite religion. In Phaetis’
  Gynarchic Paradise, the majority of men were
  reduced to a degraded state, little better than beasts,
  and incapable of religious belief. Only in remote
  areas of the once great Empire did the worship of
  Ennis continue. Over the ensuing centuries, each of
  these enclaves, to a total of fourteen, developed its
  own subtleties of dogma and ritual. In Gray Dene, this process is reﬂected in a branching of the hall and table,
  with divisions and re-divisions, until fourteen halls ran parallel. Five of these end in blank walls, just as ﬁve of
  the sects died out for one reason or another. Three merge again, reﬂecting the uniﬁcation of the three
  southernmost cults immediately after the ascension of Phaetis to her personal heaven. Thus, during the wild
  and undisciplined times of the ﬁrst epoch of the Seventeenth Aeon, we have two primary religions in what we
  shall term for convenience the Land of the Falling Wall, although at the time the wall was not to be built for
  over two aeons. These are the now fragmented Ennisite religion, which also relates to Lah and is exclusively
  male, and an exclusively female religion focused on Aea as Earth Mother, but also on Phaetis, now declared
  Aea’s daughter. (She was the daughter of a shoemaker from Trojik and his somewhat volatile wife, although her
  priestesses will assure you that this is purely conceptual.2) As the Seventeenth Aeon progressed, so the tension
  between male and female factions grew, ﬁnally erupting into the war of Wizards and Witches, a conﬂict not
  resolved until the triumph of Calanctus, many epochs later. Thus, we have what must not only be the climactic
  irony of Jendweist’s existence, but also one of humanity’s most poignant tragedies. In ﬂeeing the war, Jendweist
  not only failed to avoid it, but also became its instigator. As a lesser irony, it should be noticed that as a boy in
  Glaidenfrei, the young Jendweist was not only worshipping at his own altar each feast day, but also being
  chided by the local priests for failing to perform proper homage to the God Eweis.3 Indeed, “Jendweist”
  � Grashpotel’s Arcana: Some Observations on the Hall of Ennis in the Gray Dene �
  1. Given that those who carried the faith in its ﬁrst years were predominantly women this is surprising and students wishing to study
  the matter further are recommended to consult Vasraivin & Ivdol, Godhead Revealed and the Nature of Motherhood.
  2. This they say with a straight face, and woe betide the questioner who does not seem convinced.
  3. The name has evolved over the aeons, Ennis is merely the commonest variant.
  The Feast Hall of Ennis
  
  translates to “Grape pip of Eweis”, so he was
  effectively named after himself as well. With the
  triumph of Llorio and her witches, the Second
  Gynarchic Paradise was established, and great were the
  woes of men. All Gods were declared Demons, and
  their worship banned. This resulted in the further
  fragmentation of the Ennisite religion, with numerous
  schisms. Again, in Gray Dene this is marked by the
  splitting of the hall, to a maze of parallel passages,
  most of which come to dead ends, a few of which
  remerge. There is also a new phenomena. A proportion
  of the Ennisite sects accepted their enforced status as
  diabolic cults. In these cases, in Gray Dene, the
  branches of the Feast Hall end in tremendous shafts,
  each descending to a Demon Realm ruled by a
  demonic scion of Ennis . Thus, by the closing epoch of
  the Seventeenth Aeon, the Feast Hall of Ennis has
  become a vast and mazelike array of passages, shafts and dead ends.
  The Eighteenth to Twentieth Aeons: Decline
  With the triumph of Calanctus over Llorio and the banishment of the witches, worship of Ennis once more
  became open. Across the Land of the Falling Wall, something over a hundred Ennisite Temples were in
  existence, each the premises of a distinct cult, many of which were unaware that they worshipped the same
  God as the others. A substantial number of diabolic cults related to Ennis also persisted. By now, the religion
  had lost its dynamism. Many cults faded away as members deserted to newer and more enticing religions.
  Others effectively destroyed themselves, by banning new membership, or imposing impossible demands for
  entry to the Feast Hall. Thus, as the Eighteenth, Nineteenth and Twentieth Aeons progressed, passage after
  passage in Gray Dene reaches a dead end. Their structure is characteristic, each with a morose cluster of ghosts
  seated around the end of the table, sipping at their tankards and grumbling over faded glories. In very few
  cases, branches remerge. It should be noted here that as each sect considers itself the one true path, so the
  ghosts in each branch of the Feast Hall consider themselves the only true Ennisites. Although each ghost has an
  allotted place, movement in the Feast Hall is not restricted, and thus argument, rancor, ghostly brawls and raids
  on the passages of rival sects are frequent. Given the boisterous
  and somewhat rough nature of many of the early worshippers,
  it is also common practice to drop beer kegs, whole roast oxen
  and other suitable missiles down the shafts to the demon
  realms.4 By the late Twentieth Aeon, only the most persistent of
  sects survived, to a total of seven. 
  Twenty-ﬁrst Aeon: Modern Cults
  Today, as the sun fades, ﬁve branches of the Feast Hall of
  Ennis persist. Few are aware of each other’s existence, and
  none are aware that they worship the same God. A further two
  sects died out recently and are worthy of mention. 
  � The largest of the Ennisite cults is that worshipping him
  in the aspect of Wiulio. This is the primary religion
  across the southernmost area of the Land of the Falling
  Wall, and also Ombalique. Wiulio is seen as patriarch
  and protector, typical manifestations of the power of
  49
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  � Grashpotel’s Arcana: Some Observations on the Hall of Ennis in the Gray Dene �
  4. It is uncertain whether these missiles are regarded as an insult or a friendly gesture from fellow worshippers of the God in his
  different aspects. It is noted that Grashpotel does not mention entering these demon realms in person.
  Tablet depicting Wiulio/Jendweist sheltering
  an incarnation of the City of Gundar.
  Figures of Lah carved into the cliffs of the
  Maurenron range along the River Isk east of
  Romarth.
  
  Ennis. An interesting feature of this sect is in use of the
  Trigrammatic Sign as a sacred symbol. While varying
  somewhat in detail, this is essentially a representation of the
  rune at the hilt of the blade of Cartlentua, preserved across the
  aeons. 
  � Second in size is the tribal religion of the ferocious Shell Fetish
  nomads of the Great Central Steppe. These fearsome but
  primitive warriors ultimately derive from a group of Ennisites
  expelled from the city of Qual-Arien in the Nineteenth Aeon.
  They were a sub-sect that deﬁed an edict banning the
  consumption of goose for all but the priesthood. Qual-Arien is
  gone, the main sect gone, but the sub-sect survives, with the
  Shell Fetishes worshipping Ut-Eweis as their sole God.
  � Much smaller is the cult of E in Forrell’s Port on the Sousanese
  Coast. This is a relict of what was once the primary Ennisite
  sect in what is now Almery, and has now died to a handful of
  worshippers centered on a small temple hidden somewhere in
  that somewhat confusing city. Of great interest is the Portal, a
  direct entrance to the cult’s branch of the Feast Hall in Gray
  Dene, which mortals are permitted, even encouraged, to use in
  return for a donation to temple funds.
  � Smaller still is that diabolic sect using the Ring of Urit in
  Kaiin’s Old Quarter. This is an ancient cult indeed, dating
  directly back to the tenth epoch of the Seventeenth Aeon,
  although the current practitioners are a poor lot, barely
  capable of getting themselves together for the monthly human
  sacriﬁce.
  � Smallest of all is that of the Temple of Old Ennis in Romarth.
  This is a curious case, as it was founded by the Arch-mage
  Moerdrake at the close of the Twentieth Aeon. Moerdrake had
  traveled back in time to the Sixteenth Aeon, and became
  embroiled in the fall of Jirilee, returning with a ﬁrm belief in
  the God Ennis. In Romarth he established his cult, which has
  no worshippers and a single immortal priest. In Gray Dene,
  this is represented by a small annex to the Feast Hall, no more
  than a few hundred paces from the head of the table. Like the
  temple of the cult of E, the Romarth temple has a portal into
  the Feast Hall, but the current priest, the Mage Eifas, will not
  allow it to be used for casual purposes.
  � In the city of Ferghaz an Ennisite cult related to that in
  Forrell’s Port existed until the ﬁnal abandonment of the city.
  There was a temple, and also a Portal, but these are long
  abandoned, the stones scattered or buried. Those entering the
  Portal in Forrell’s Port may walk along the passage in Gray
  Dene and take the ﬁrst branch to the left, whereupon they will
  presently arrive at the dead end representing the demise of the
  Ferghaz Cult. Here, the Portal exists, and those who wish may
  use it, ﬁnding themselves in a darkened underground chamber
  from which there is no exit.
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  50
  � Grashpotel’s Arcana: Some Observations on the Hall of Ennis in the Gray Dene �
  � INTEREST PETITIONED! �
  The Knotted Temple
  Elucidator for Disciple
  Exempliﬁcation issues a
  challenge to the discerning
  dabbler in Thaumaturgy.
  It is considered necessary to
  return to animation a 
  TAMBER-TIPPED WICK WORKER.
  This relic dates back to the
  16th Aeon. The perfumed
  thrumber threads in the chest
  area are degraded and worn to
  nubs. The support member
  appendages are rotten worm-
  ridden husks in need of
  immediate attention. The red
  rotor “face” appears in good
  condition, yet screams when
  touched with instruments.
  The task will inevitably prove
  to be an interesting one
  suitable for only the most
  efﬁcient and insightful. The
  chosen candidate will work in
  comfort in our well equipped
  workshop using the original
  instruments as validated by
  the primary maker.
  To signal your interest in such
  a challenging engagement
  (indeed an intellectual
  adventure) please tender your
  5 terce deposit. When you
  achieve the successfully re-
  animation of the Wick
  Worker, the deposit is
  refunded immediately and in
  full. At that point we will also
  provide not only a certiﬁcate
  of  accomplishment and
  gratiﬁcation, but also letters
  of recommendation. Please be
  present at the Prince of Kaiin
  Inn at noon tomorrow where
  your credentials can be
  scrutinised.
  
  � In old Carchasel there is an abandoned temple
  belonging to a forgotten Ennisite Cult. In a
  deep moss overgrown chamber beneath
  tumbled blocks of stone is a Portal, which may
  be used with impunity by those able to
  overcome the erbs that use the chamber as a
  residence. 
  Conclusion
  Thus we have a picture of the Feast Hall of Ennis, a
  structure not atypical of Gray Dene. I personally have
  spent much time there, as the personal guest of Ennis
  /Jendweist himself. The investigation of the passages
  is fascinating, and also discussion with the ghosts.
  Across the aeons, many Mages have worshipped
  Ennis, and there is much to be learned, especially as
  ghosts tend to be far freer with information than the
  living. I recommend it to the scholar. 
  �
  51
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  � Grashpotel’s Arcana: Some Observations on the Hall of Ennis in the Gray Dene �
  NOTE TO GMS: Grashpotel will provide a copy of his dissertation free of charge to any who present
  themselves at the Scholasticarium in a suitably unctuous manner. As he implies, it is quite easy to get into
  the Feast Hall of Ennis, and once there, you may wander as you please. There is much to be gained in the
  way of knowledge, which may be dispensed at the GM’s discretion, from spells to the whereabouts of
  hoards of treasure. All PCs need to do is to persuade a suitable ghost to part with the information,
  although naturally they must know what questions to ask. There are drawbacks. Most importantly,
  anybody accepting food or drink from a ghost becomes trapped in Gray Dene. Ennis alone can return
  them, and must be persuaded to do so. Ghosts tend to try and catch visitors out, if only to break the
  monotony. Some four billion people have worshipped Ennis, each occupying three feet of table space, face
  to face. Allowing for the extensive branching of the passages, it is therefore some 120,000 miles from
  either of the easily accessible portals to the throne of Ennis. This has to be walked. PCs may exit from the
  temple in Romarth, receiving only a lecture on manners from Eifas. It is easy to travel toward Ennis, but
  anybody attempting to go the other way will rapidly become lost. Most of the Feast Hall is in a state of
  continuous mayhem. Possession of the dissertation adds 2 to a PCs’Pedantry pool and their Magic rating.
  Unfortunately, Grashpotel’s theories on the nature of Godhead are not universally accepted among his
  colleagues. Any PC found with the dissertation, or quoting from it, is likely to be ridiculed, especially by
  Perrin, who regards the whole thing as a ﬁgment of Grashpotel’s imagination. Owners of the dissertation
  must roll when attempting to Persuade anybody with a Magic rating above 10. On a Dismal Failure they
  then face a levy of 1 in the discussion. On an Illustrious Success they gain a boon of 1. Otherwise there is
  no change. If Grashpotel’s theories cause a degree of scholarly dissension among his colleagues, the same is
  not true of priests. His ideas represent gross heresy to all religious groups, in one way or another. Most
  cults will consider any PC in possession of the dissertation a prime candidate for burning, disemboweling
  or whatever hideous death happens to be in vogue.
  Purportedly the entrance to the abandoned temple,
  although the buildings shown bear no resemblance to
  Carchasel today. From Endber’s Hierology of the
  Xardoon Coast.
  
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  52
  Common Knowledge
  Perhaps garnered at Inns as travelers approach the city:
  � The City of Lumarth was once vast. The ruins evident for many leagues verify this, as do rutted
  stone roadways extending far beyond its current bounds.
  � The citizens are known as the ‘Kind Folk’, due to their observance of elaborate social niceties
  under the Doctrine of Absolute Altruism.
  � The Priests of the College of Coramese Thurists administer the precepts and reﬁnements of the
  Doctrine with impressive zeal. 
  � Lumarth’s most renowned features are ﬁve domed temples, each of which is dedicated to a demon.
  However, the people are not demon-worshippers, and the admirable Coramese Thurists continue
  to educate all ﬁve demons in the ways of Absolute Altruism, convinced of the inevitability of their
  eventual redemption.
  � Lumarth hosts a weekly market and is situated at a junction of the only major trade routes in this
  region. Its people and Priests are used to the ways of outsiders and treat minor infractions of their
  laws with commendable tolerance.2 Visitors have nothing to fear, provided they behave with
  moderate decorum within the city limits. �
  Scuttlebutt 
  Characters able to delve deeper may uncover a few more snippets of interest:
  � The exertions required by Lumarth’s citizens to maintain such constantly high standards of moral
  behavior occasionally lead to unseemly drunkenness or crazed anti-social outbursts. Fortunately
  the Thurists compel only the worst offenders to descend into one of the demon pits on a
  pilgrimage of religious instruction, although a multitude of other taxing penances await lesser
  felons. 
  � Despite the relative tolerance of the Thurists, any foreigner pronounced guilty of a major offense is
  a potential educator of demons. Hence they are placed at the head of the line of the demon whose
  month is current. 
  � The ruler of Lumarth is the notoriously humorless Grand Thearch, Chaladet the Great. 
  � Chaladet has forbidden the use of magic within the city precincts, as sorcery was too often used in
  contravention of the Doctrine. Nonetheless, before his edict, many citizens practiced a variety of
  cantraps and dabbled in small spells, and presumably still have this capability. 
  � The common folk are lethargic and pale, due to the rigid laws on their behavior that accompany
  the Doctrine. They must behave with obsessive rigidity in regard to ritual and social exactitude, or
  else face being labeled heretics. Repentant heretics are considered highly qualiﬁed to visit the
  demon of the month, to tutor it in proper behavior.3
  � The City of Lumarth �
  Ian Thomson1
  “I give up this money not to please you but to punish myself 
  for trying to improve a group of primitive peasants.”
  1. An antipodean penman of awesome gusto.
  2. Only rarely asking their assistance in educating the demons.
  3. Unrepentant heretics are considered unworthy of this honor, and are executed by stoning, outside the city limits.
  
  � The task of educating the demons in correct behavior is obviously challenging, since none have yet
  returned from the task.4
  �
  Arriving in the City 
  Whichever direction one arrives from, ﬁve domes of shimmering iridescent gloss mark the site of Lumarth from
  quite some distance. Other great public buildings may also be observed from adequate elevation, but lack the
  impressive grandeur of the prominent domes. Each primary approach to the city is along a broad avenue of
  rutted stone, beneath the arching shade of enormous black mimosa trees. As the city gets nearer, the simple
  ﬁelds and woodlands can be seen to conceal acres of tumbled ruins. Even the outermost edges of the surviving
  city hold many structures of dubious resolution, and many apparently serviceable buildings show no sign of
  current tenancy. At the city’s center, a triumphal arch of obvious antiquity stands crumbling in the path. Its
  inscriptions and decorations demand dedicated and educated scrutiny before offering any clues about their
  origin or signiﬁcance. 
  City Locations 
  Districts and Roadways
  As is usual in these ﬁnal days of the Earth’s passing, insufﬁcient diligence is applied to the upkeep of the
  buildings and thoroughfares. Nonetheless, Lumarth is comparatively elegant, and the central areas are kept free
  from refuse. Likewise, the more prominent city properties are repaired to an acceptable standard. Within the
  smaller side alleys and at the civic fringes, preservation efforts do not maintain this high standard. The three
  53
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  4. There is a school of thought that suggests that the educational process is not merely easy but grants the educator awesome powers
  such that they never wish to return to Lumarth.
  Cugel’s Visit to Lumarth
  Cugel’s visit to Lumarth during his southward journey is decribed in ‘Cugel’s Saga’ (Tales of the Dying
  Earth, Millennium, 2000: pp514–523). During his brief stay, Cugel is declared guilty of the deﬂoration of
  ﬁfteen of the ‘Seventeen Maidens of Symnathis’ who are destined to grace Lumarth’s Grand Pageant. His
  role as night caravan guard before their arrival in Lumarth allowed him ample opportunity (indeed the
  only opportunity during their closely guarded journey) for private access to the maidens, and so his guilt is
  deemed unquestionable. He is sent to visit the demon Phampoun below its temple, to instruct it in
  ‘kindness, consideration and decency’. Cugel manages to trick Phampoun to the surface, where it becomes
  disorientated by the evening sunlight, and runs amok, knocking down buildings in its rage. If Cugel’s visit
  has not occurred before your characters’ arrival at Lumarth, then ignore the following. 
  Lumarth Post-Cugel 
  During his outburst, Phampoun ﬂattened trees and burst through houses as if they did not exist. This
  presumably went on throughout the evening until it was dark enough for him to be calmed by his
  attendant homunculus and returned to his temple. This rampage had three principal results. Firstly, many
  small buildings were ﬂattened, and some have yet to be rebuilt. Secondly several people were killed and
  injured. Thirdly, Phampoun’s unsociable behavior showed that he was a priority case for education in the
  Doctrine of Absolute Altruism, and he now receives at least three pilgrims during each month dedicated to
  his name (rather than the customary single visit). A less obvious fourth result was a stirring of public
  discontent. The increase in ‘pilgrims’ has meant an increase in severity of sentencing for those who infringe
  against the Doctrine. Misdeeds that formerly would have been punished by a month’s labor at the stone
  quarries have been commuted to the presumably terminal attempts to educate Phampoun or one of the
  other demons. There are those in Lumarth who deem this excessive, and public opinion progresses steadily
  against the Thurists, who are unable to ﬁnd enough criminal foreigners to make up the deﬁcit. 
  
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  54
  major neighborhoods are Plaza District, Upper Town, and Riverside, and the lesser sectors are Lower Town,
  Brokenside and Tower Hill. 
  Wayfarer’s Inn
  This most well favored of the city’s inns stands at one corner of the main plaza. Prices are somewhat elevated,
  but the diligence of the service and the quality of both accommodation and food serve to swiftly redeem all
  misgivings. 
  Several lesser establishments, from the favorable Tavern of Blue Wisdom to the grubby River Eel Bar, also
  exist. 
  The Old Palace
  This magniﬁcent ediﬁce runs one entire side of the civic plaza. During ceremonies, and when pronouncing
  matters of public justice, Chaladet sits resplendently before it on his chair that rests upon a great dais. The
  Priests of the College of Thurists may also be in attendance, dependent on the import of matters in hand. 
  Lumarth Docks
  The Isk remains navigable between Gundar to the north and the Tsombol Marsh to the south. River trafﬁc is
  relatively abundant, serving the outlying towns and villages that are reliant on this great watercourse for their
  livelihood. The aging docks are kept in reasonable repair, although the prevalent sailing skiffs are somewhat
  dwarfed by berths originally intended for more majestic craft. Ladders rise to the sturdy stone wharves. 
  �
  Lumarthi Tag-Lines
  “The Brothers are uniformly energetic, are they not?”
  “Whilst I grasp only the basic tenets of your belief, and thus cannot assess its merit at depth,
  does it never strike you as excessively conﬁning?”
  “The stubborn persistence of the Thurists must at times be intensely vexing.”
  “Might I suggest that we promptly avail ourselves of that tour of the resplendent 
  Dockside District that we have been postponing for so long.”
  “The Doctrine seems curiously ﬂexible when ensuring that the 
  demands of the Thurists are met without unseemly delay.”
  “Whilst ordinarily I would denounce a precipitous ﬂight into unknown darkness as 
  tantamount to lunacy, in this case I must concede to the validity of your proposal.”
  “Others less virtuous than myself might conjecture that such a situation 
  could be exploited to unprecedented personal advantage.”
  “Hold fast, all is not as it seems. I can assuredly explain 
  our extreme behavior to your absolute satisfaction.”
  �
  � The City of Lumarth �
  
  Lumarthi Tweaks
  These are Tweaks that may be acquired by those who have lived for at least a year in the city. They can
  obviously be attempted in other places and situations.
  “The Disparate Customs of our Fair City are as Equitable as they are Unanticipated”
  Persuade (Obfuscatory)
  Situation: Noted by one in authority whilst contravening one of the lesser tenets of the Doctrine of Absolute
  Altruism, you apologize expansively to diffuse their antagonism, and avoid being charged with an offense.
  Description: Your rambling line of convoluted apologies is designed to indicate simultaneously your familiarity
  with local social customs, your acceptance of the doubtless validity of the reasoning behind their formulation,
  and the inappropriateness of any formal penalty imposed on one as stupid as oneself. 
  Beneﬁt: Vigilant upholders of the Doctrine are brought to the opinion that you are a confused and well
  meaning simpleton, rather than a public menace, and let you go with merely a stern caution. This tweak must
  be invoked the instant that one is subject to ofﬁcial reprimand, and has no value when supporting clearly
  criminal acts such as vandalism, theft, or grievous bodily harm. It grants +1 to all results other than Dismal
  Failure. 
  “Have a Care, Lest your Behavior be Formally
  Noted”
  Imposture
  Situation: You face intimidation, argument, or
  sluggish responses when making demands of a citizen
  of Lumarth. 
  Description: You imply with certainty that you carry
  weighty inﬂuence with the Thurists or the Brothers of
  Benevolence. 
  Beneﬁt: Any success levels in any immediately ensuing
  Persuasion contest are raised by one, except for a
  Dismal Failure. This Tweak will never work on a
  person against whom you have already scored a
  Dismal Failure in its use, nor against anyone who was
  witness to an attempt that resulted in such a failure.
  “You are Mistaken, and Perhaps Observed a Person
  with some Slight Resemblance to Myself”
  Athletics
  Situation: The Thurists and/or Brothers arrive unexpectedly on the scene during a ﬂagrant breach of the
  Doctrine of Absolute Altruism. 
  Description: Living in a society of sudden and stringent reprisal makes one unusually alert to the arrival of
  ofﬁcialdom, and swift to evade its inconveniences. You depart through the nearest window or back entrance (or
  perhaps propel yourself over a wall or through a serving hatch) at the instant the ofﬁcials appear on the scene. 
  Beneﬁt: Your Athletics result is raised by 1 whenever it is immediately used to evade a surprise encounter with
  any of the Coramese Thurists or Brothers of Benevolence who are attempting to apprehend abusers of the
  Doctrine. 
  �
  55
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  � The City of Lumarth �
  An appeal to the Brothers of Benevolence may carry
  the day in even the most mundane discussion.
  
  Concerning Religion
  The Doctrine of Absolute Altruism 
  General Precepts
  Citizens and visitors are expected to comport themselves courteously and passively on all occasions. Public
  disputes are prohibited, and even the disciplining of unruly children must take place without irksome cries and
  entreaties. 
  Speciﬁc Precepts
  No drunkenness, running, shouting or jostling in public places. 
  No arguing or raised voices to a degree as might intrude on fellow citizens. Uphold the laws of hospitality
  always, including charging fair price for goods and services and never engaging in theft or fraudulence. 
  Every citizen must grant suitable obedience and deference to personal and general decrees made by any Priest of
  the Coramese Thurists, as these persons embody the highest degree of purity attainable within the Doctrine. 
  The Grand Pageant of Ultimate Contrasts 
  Several major settlements across the Dying Earth hold a great annual pageant or festival. This common
  tradition is held by savants to hearken from the previous aeon, and was once even more widespread. Like many
  historic activities, its popularity has waned, and yet the grand celebration of wonder and diversity somehow
  retains a place, even (or perhaps because of) the inconstancy of existence that prevails as the sun slowly dies
  and the Earth’s story draws to a close. Every year, the College of Thurists oversees Lumarth’s Grand Pageant.
  At this time the citizens are allowed an inordinate degree of exuberance in their behavior. There are marvelous
  entertainments of all kinds from the surrounding regions. The theme is a celebration of the divergent wonders
  of life and habit still extant on the face of the Dying Earth. The ‘Ultimate Contrasts’ are a series of contests at
  which hopeful citizens and eager local villagers present their entries on the hopes that their particular exhibit
  will capture the attention of the Thurists and win them great reward. The seventeen senior Priests survey these
  contests and the accompanying festivities, with a benevolent gaze. They later retire to the Palace to subject
  themselves stringently and energetically to certain hazardous rites that assure the continued prosperity of
  Lumarth, thus they hope to add strength to the sun in
  its dying days. Ordinary citizens know little of these
  rites, other than that at least one involves the seventeen
  maidens from Symnathis. These maidens later rejoin
  the festivities in a state of ethereal indifference,
  possibly induced by certain of the soporiﬁc herbal
  essences imbibed during the preparations for the rites.
  When it is time for them to leave, each is given a small
  purse of gems, purely as a ceremonial gesture. No
  maiden is ever eligible to participate in the rites at any
  future pageant. Note: The people of Symnathis are
  noted for their comely aspect, but the precise spiritual
  connection with the College of Thurists has long since
  been forgotten. 
  The Day of Proposals 
  The ﬁrst day of the Pageant begins as one of relative
  austerity, resembling any regular civic carnival. There
  are sweetmeat vendors, buskers, dancers, jugglers, and
  a plethora of gaming stalls, where one may try one’s
  hand at anything, from clouting the burrossa nut from
  its stand using an irregularly curved stick to guessing
  the weight of the dowager. Fortune-tellers and curio-
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  56
  � The City of Lumarth �
  Serving maids wearing traditional costume as they
  fetch festival beer for their households.
  
  sellers promote their services with indefatigable cries. Barkers and criers wander the town, screeching the
  praises of the various entertainments and exhibitions that will be available over the three days of the Pageant.
  As evening approaches, Chaladet the Great sits on his throne on the edge of the city plaza and proclaims the
  Grand Pageant of Ultimate Contrasts ofﬁcially underway. From every doorway burst citizens in fantastic masks
  and amazing costumes, dressed as animals, magicians, spirits or indeed any other entity that has taken their
  fancy. Intoxicating beverages ﬂow much more freely than austere Lumarth sees at any other time of the year,
  and the Doctrine is all but forgotten as the evening evolves in a lively fashion. The Thurists and the Seventeen
  Maidens retire to the security of the Palace to engage in altogether more becoming rituals, and the carnival
  proceeds with fervor. 
  The Day of Contrasts 
  Throughout the morning, the various contestants ﬁne-
  tune their acts, or prepare their exhibits for
  presentation. Although the citizens are still relatively
  jubilant, the fabulous costumes and masks, the
  unabashed acts of debauchery, are no longer common.
  The ﬁrst contests begin in the early afternoon, and
  share the theme of ‘Performance’. Storytellers,
  musicians, dancers, acrobats, animal acts, and other
  carnival stunts follow one another on three separate
  stages of different sizes. Only magic, mutilation, and
  murder are prohibited to the performers. Almost any
  other type of activity qualiﬁes, which leads to an
  astounding array of endeavors. The Thurists tend to
  favor a performance that is both physically challenging
  and visually stimulating, although once in a while they
  will break tradition and select a cleverly humorous
  theatrical piece, or even a bawdy satire, as the winner.
  The victorious contestants gain an overstuffed purse of
  monies to share amongst themselves. The second
  round begins in the early evening, and these contests
  are held on the theme of ‘Wonders’. A large and sturdy
  platform is erected at the center of the plaza, and the
  crowds gather close. Lumarth is not the only city to
  host such a display and bizarre spectacles are drawn from the furthest and oddest reaches of the Dying Earth,
  the contestants aiming to prove that their efforts rank amongst the ﬁnest of all. The scope of entries is far too
  great to list, although last year’s winner was a colossal intelligent blue slug that was capable of exuding and
  molding multiple dexterous pseudopods, each of which proved itself singularly adept at a specialist task. The
  winner of this round of contests (or the owner of the winner, as appropriate) is awarded a bulging bag of gems
  and valuable trinkets, and is declared the Hero of the Pageant. The ﬁnal round of contests goes under the
  theme of ‘Propensity’. The doughty citizens engage in all manner of bouts, games, and races, attempting to
  demonstrate their agility, vigor and robustness. At the culmination of these trials several giant mebbel ants are
  released into the streets with tightly strapped posterior nodes, and young men and women leap to gain colored
  rosettes from the ﬂailing antennas of these enraged creatures. Grievous wounding, even to the point of death, is
  not uncommon. The winner is the one who collects the most rosettes, and this person receives a nominal
  appointment as city champion, plus a generous weekly stipend for the rest of the year. 
  The Day of Sufﬁciency 
  Whilst still technically part of the pageant, the ‘day of sufﬁciency’ offers little more than a quiet market and
  lackadaisical attempts at street cleaning. Hopeful bands of itinerant performers caper with forced exuberance,
  keen to earn sufﬁcient funds to support them on their journey home. Even these folk disappear by the end of
  57
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  � The City of Lumarth �
  Two festival contestants discuss the possibility of
  working together for their mutual beneﬁt.
  
  the afternoon, when the Brothers of Benevolence begin to reappear on the streets. At this time the Brothers are
  often in a surly mood due to indispositions caused by their feats of extravagant indulgence throughout the
  celebrations. 
  The Demons 
  The ﬁve demons are Yaunt, Jastenave, Phampoun, Edelmar and Suul. During the high years of the Great
  Magics the city fell under the sway of Yasbane the Obviator, who breached openings into ﬁve demon-realms
  and constructed the temples. The citizens rose in revolt when human sacriﬁces began, and Yasbane was
  expelled. Unfortunately, there no longer existed any magician with sufﬁcient power to close the demon
  gateways, and the Thurists who took power were forced to continue a minimal practice of human sacriﬁce, to
  prevent the guardian demons from rising into the city to seek their dues. The ingenious Thurists decreed the
  ‘Era of Love’ to acceptably codify the human sacriﬁces that were still required, and to pacify the unruly citizens
  of Lumarth. The calendar of Lumarth differs little from that of surrounding regions,5 other than in the fact that
  each month carries an additional name, that of one of the ﬁve demons. A human sacriﬁce must be presented to
  each demon at least once during its month. The Thurists prefer to appoint foreign criminals or the most
  bothersome local troublemakers to this role, rather than common folk. Therefore, despite the unnerving
  presence of the demons, and their stubborn refusal to become properly educated, the city does not exist under a
  dominion of terror, but does manifest pronounced social restriction and unequal privilege.6
  The Demon Temples 
  All vary in décor and style, and each month the Thurists’ Chief Adjudicator, dressed distinctively in his white
  gown of purity, attends the appropriate temple. Typically he calms each wrongdoer, clarifying the benevolent
  nature of the people of Lumarth, and their desire to see the criminal redeemed. Then he explains that the
  criminal must undergo the three-phase program of penitence. Phase One is acceptance of the validity of the
  program. Phase Two is to undertake a mission to educate one of the demons in the Doctrine of Absolute
  Altruism. Phase Three presumes success at Phase Two, and is automatic acceptance into the ranks of the
  Coramese Thurists. Those who ﬂee the Adjudicator are quickly restrained by Brothers of Benevolence, and
  begin their mission tightly bound. Phampoun’s temple is approached via worn marble steps through an
  enormous arched portal, into an echoing hall distinguished only by its high dome and the altar at its far side. A
  side chamber is illuminated by high circular windows and paneled
  with dark blue wood. When facilitating the redemption of those
  who have broken the Doctrine’s precepts, the Chief Adjudicator
  conducts his scrutiny of the miscreant in here. When the process
  has been explained, the Adjudicator need only touch a button to
  open the central portion of the room’s ﬂoor onto a spiral chute that
  leads to Phampoun’s chamber. 
  Cugel’s Visit with Phampoun
  As he descended the chute, Cugel experienced a thickening of
  the air, which in the end burst to allow him to fall into a
  gloomy chamber, illuminated by a single lamp. Here sat
  Phampoun on a massive chair, and Cugel tricked the demon’s
  homunculus servant (which was attached to the end of its
  tongue) into raising the central dais to the temple
  aboveground. Phampoun was driven temporarily insane
  when Cugel pulled the covering discs from his eyes, and
  Cugel made off with two sacks of the demon’s gold.
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  58
  � The City of Lumarth �
  Cugel the Clever
  5. Pedants eager to discuss details of calendars used are referred to p23 of The Kaiin Players Guide.
  6. Since Cugel freed Phampoun, an air of discontent has grown, and muttered imprecations against the Thurists may often be
  overheard. As yet, no major public action has occurred. The true reason for the greater number of ambassadors sent to visit
  Phampoun these days is to appease its wrath.
  
  People and Organisations of Note 
  CHALADET THE GREAT, GRAND THEARCH OF LUMARTH: Chaladet is the aged High Priest of the Thurists, but
  decries all fanciful notions that he rules Lumarth. His role, he asserts, is solely that of a guide to the ways of
  the Doctrine, although he certainly has no sympathy for felons or pranksters who disrupt its precepts. Early in
  his tenure, after an unfortunate incident where a cabal of petty sorcerers attempted to overthrow the rule of the
  Thurists, he decreed that magic could not be practiced within the city limits. These magicians were overcome
  only with considerable difﬁculty, and those that survived repented and became engaged as ambassadors to the
  demons. 
  THE COLLEGE OF CORAMESE THURISTS: All Priests wear gowns of embroidered silks, and sport splendid
  double-crowned ceremonial headgear, lending them an impressive dignity. Their pale transparent skins, thin
  high-bridged noses, slender limbs, and pensive gray eyes denote individuals clearly destined for spiritual
  pursuits. The Priests of the Thurists are of variant racial stock dissimilar to most citizens, being descended from
  the ruling elite of Yasbane’s time. Such social distinctions are no longer even vaguely recalled, having been
  comprehensively subsumed within the city’s religious hierarchy. As well as the Priesthood, the College
  incorporates the ‘Brothers of Benevolence’, a cast of acolytes who wear distinctive brown and yellow robes.
  These sturdy individuals are privileged citizens, chosen for unwavering adherence to the Doctrine, and an
  ability to compel order on those lamentable occasions that this is necessary. Priests attending situations where
  they might otherwise ﬁnd themselves inconvenienced will always be accompanied by a group of the Brothers
  who are eager to demonstrate their skills in the ways of Benevolence. The Brothers are granted exemption from
  certain of the Doctrine’s tenets, should circumstance require application of their special attributes. 
  �
  Scenario Ideas 
  We provide four mere plot hooks, as well as a considerably more detailed scenario, “Caravan to Aktabras” that
  presents a potentially lucrative commission for Cugel level characters in Lumarth.
  Working as a Guard.
  The characters are journeying near Symnathis when they have the opportunity to serve as guards on the
  caravan escorting the seventeen maidens to Lumarth. Since Cugel’s disruption, there are now irregular guard
  rotations, dire warning of demon dooms, and a system of rewards for divulging the identity of any who
  threaten the maidens’ purity, not to mention numerous cantraps applied to each maiden’s personal
  accommodation. The main cantraps trigger irritatingly strident howls and vibrant pulses of light should the
  locks on the maiden’s booths, or certain of their garments, be interfered with in any fashion. Previously, a single
  guard was employed, as the route is without notable hazard and the ritually applied “Chaspran’s Zone of
  Agony” also protected the caravan at night. Nonetheless, Cugel revealed a ﬂaw in these precautions, and
  guards now stand watch in three pairs, operating simultaneously throughout the night. Whilst their stipend has
  increased, it may be collected only after conﬁrmed delivery of seventeen intact maidens to the Thurists. This
  encourages a profound vigilance. Despite these additional precautions, events on the Dying Earth can be
  unexpectedly inconstant, and during this particular trip, simple or complex dangers may threaten the caravan,
  including the disappearance of a maiden and the necessity of relocating or replacing her. Once the group has
  arrived at the Pageant, characters may involve themselves in the ﬂamboyant festivities and the wondrous
  exhibitions that both entertain and amaze.
  �
  Enticed into Sedition.
  There are those amongst the citizenry who have newly charged rebellious leanings, and might welcome the
  arrival of outsiders to aid in their own designs. Newcomers might become involved, either willingly or though
  the devious plans of others, in anti-doctrinal activities and may then be blamed for the entirety of any noted
  59
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  � The City of Lumarth �
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  
  sedition. Whilst avoiding the Brothers of Benevolence, and their
  ‘welcoming committee’, the visitors must somehow prove their innocence
  to avoid being assigned punishment (possibly including fatal
  ambassadorial duties). One such rigorous scenario could begin when a
  certain ‘Tozzio’ of Riverside draws them into conversation at an inn. It is
  best if the characters have just become suddenly and inconveniently
  destitute after gambling, theft, duplicity, or overzealous ‘taxation’ by a
  gang of surly Brothers has taken its toll. They face high charges for
  accommodation and sustenance, and are unable to make good their debts.
  Such a situation is regarded most unfavorably by the Innkeeper, and,
  perhaps more importantly also by the Thurists. The prospect of uniformly
  unpleasant retribution for non-payment of dues looms large. 
  Tozzio has noticed their plight, and seems unusually sociable for a
  Lumarthi, and is more than a little inebriated. Perhaps the laxity of the
  festival atmosphere has tempted him towards excess? He is fascinated by
  the visitors’ foreign dress and customs, and lets slip his grievances against
  the rule of the Thurists and their Doctrine. In particular he bemoans the
  exceptionally high rate of popular taxation, harsh punishments and the
  inordinate wealth hoarded by the Thurists, in spite of the city’s need for
  investment in public amenities other than the restoration of civic facades.
  Perhaps a solution to their mutual problem of inadequate funds is at hand?
  Through a tortuous wafﬂe of obfuscation, Tozzio gradually reveals that he has made deliveries to the Thurists’
  Palace throughout the previous year as part of his duties as a drayman’s apprentice. He no longer holds that
  position, since an altercation with the drayman over some missing sacks of valuable meal left him without
  employment. Nevertheless, he noted during his tasks that a cunning man with equally dedicated helpers could
  reach the Palace’s treasury by scaling an ornate iron trellis, clambering across a section of tiled roof, and
  entering the palace via a skylight. Normally such an endeavor would be foolhardy in the extreme, as the Palace
  Guard is composed of the more competent Brothers. Yet, during the height of the festival the distractions are
  many. Indeed the consumption of intoxicants far exceeds the usual restraint encouraged by the Doctrine.
  Perhaps Tozzio is a genuine fellow, seeing like-minded rascals amongst the characters, or perhaps he is a gifted
  thief and conﬁdence trickster who intends to leave them to face the wrath of the Thurists. After all, if he draws
  up a rope and makes good his escape with a small selection of choice valuables, the Thurists may happily vent
  the bulk of their fury on the obvious felons trapped within the treasure room. 
  �
  Working with the Brothers 
  Lesser penalties for offenders against the Doctrine include assisting the Brothers of Benevolence as they do their
  rounds. It quickly becomes clear to those sentenced to this duty that the
  Brothers run a variety of extortion and protection rackets, allowing some
  major offenders to go unpunished while miscreants of a minor nature
  might be hounded mercilessly. Offenses such as shouting when set upon
  by surprise, running across the street, or not sufﬁciently cleaning the
  frontage of your property may result in an instant ﬁne, to avoid the
  bureaucratic costs of formal charges. Temporary Brothers are required to
  perform all manner of unseemly tasks, from threatening mothers in front
  of their children through to tracking refugees from justice through the
  archaic and perilous sewer system. While working under the guidance of
  Brother Zeit (a truculent and ignorant individual), the characters have to
  enter the premises of one Solmis Dorinwit, who is accused of late payment
  of ‘rental assurity’. Dorinwit is a trader in furs who was comparatively
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  60
  � The City of Lumarth �
  � BROTHER ZEIT �
  “You seek to take advantage of
  my good nature: desist.”
  He is a not untypical Brother,  
  Ratings: Persuade (Intimidate)
  11, Rebuff (Wary) 7, Attack
  (Strength) 9, Defense (Parry) 8,
  Appraisal 2, Athletics 3,
  Stewardship 2.
  Resistances: None
  � TOZZIO �
  “I will take another glass of the
  white…now what was I saying?”
  He is dressed in a smock of blue
  brushed velvet, faded and soiled
  with age and hard wear, belted
  with a bright yellow
  cummerbund and he wears black
  moleskin knickerbockers with
  leather gaiters. His hat, now
  disreputable, was once lime
  green with red piping.  
  Ratings: Persuade (Obfuscatory)
  8, Rebuff (Contrary) 8, Attack
  (Cunning) 6, Defense (Dodge) 8,
  Health 3, Athletics 2, Driving 3,
  Quick Fingers 5.
  Resistances: None
  
  successful, and was highly regarded by his fellow citizens. He reputedly
  walked a line close to the edge of the Doctrine’s major principles. Perhaps
  as a result of this, he pays out repeatedly due to various claims made by the
  Brothers, who quote obscure clauses of the Doctrine as their justiﬁcation.
  Dorinwit is now almost penniless, but Zeit nevertheless suggest that his
  place of business needs energetically refurbishing, just in case he has further
  monies with which he is not yet willing to part. Dorinwit begs the
  characters for leniency, and recognizing them as foreigners on punishment
  duty, suggests a compromise. In return for the characters making the
  ‘refurbishment’ under Dorinwit’s guidance, the trader can alert them to the
  precise details of how Zeit’s fellow monk, Brother Troke, collects and
  transports the monthly ‘voluntary donations’ from the traders on the
  Riverside; these he takes to the Tavern of Blue Wisdom, ready for sharing
  with his comrades. Armed with this information, it would be a simple matter to waylay Troke with a suitable
  blunt instrument, and share the spoils amongst much more deserving beneﬁciaries.
  �
  The Survivor 
  Maglarab, an aged sorcerer from the original local uprising, has been kept
  by the demon Edelmar for its entertainment. This tortured survivor at last
  managed to sneak a note to the surface attached to one of the bats that
  reside with Edelmar during daylight. (Maglarab recovered writing
  materials from a pocket in the shredded jacket belonging to one of the
  more recent ambassadors.) He details the layout of the demon’s lair and
  the impressive treasures he has been forced to catalogue on its behalf.
  More importantly, he explains that Edelmar invariably sleeps a full day,
  beginning no later than six hours after dining with the ‘ambassador’.
  Understandably, Maglarab, chained securely whenever Edelmar sleeps,
  pleads for assistance in his escape, offering preferential guidance in
  collecting the most portable and valuable goods from the demon’s
  treasures, and making speciﬁc mention of a fabled artifact. The drawbacks
  are that Maglarab does not know how to gain egress (even though he
  falsely indicates otherwise in his note), and that rescuers may be obliged
  to ﬂee through a mysterious iron door across an arm of the demon realm,
  before regaining Lumarth’s decrepit sewer system. (Possibly with an irate
  Edelmar on their trail.) 
  �
  61
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  � The City of Lumarth �
  � MAGLARAB �
  “I sleep among wealth
  unimaginable, but would trade it
  all for a set of sturdy bolt
  cutters.”
  Maglarab wears the discarded
  rags of previous ‘ambassadors’.
  He is old and worn and wants to
  see sunlight before he dies.  
  Ratings: Persuade (Forthright)
  10, Rebuff (Pure-hearted) 8,
  Attack (Speed) 5, Defense
  (Dodge) 4, Health 3, Magic
  (Studious) 23, (He knows all the
  spells in the Dying Earth rule
  book, none of which are any use
  on this Demon) Appraisal 4,
  Athletics 1, Etiquette 3 (Telling
  stories to a Demon) 10, Pedantry
  18, Wherewithal 10.
  Resistances: None
  For Sale
  Ivory pendant on chain of
  gold with inlay of pure
  azemurite. Image is that of
  Sandestin “at play” with
  nymphette. Details on item
  upon request, but must attend
  in person. 
  See Bosslem, trader in ivory
  and other ﬁne items, the River
  Inn, Azenomei.
  
  CARAVAN TO AKTABRAS
  We are instructed to point out that the play-testers included such worthies as Harry
  Grawe, Stef Mathers, and Roger Smith. With persons of their caliber involved in the
  work, how can it be of any but the highest quality? Rest assured that no effort has
  been spared to bring you only the best.
  Placing the Characters
  As mentioned earlier, the Grand Pageant is one of few events causing the hebetudinous denizens of the Dying
  Earth to venture from the safety of their habitual locales. Whether the characters are enjoying fabled Kaspara
  Vitatus the City of Monuments, or exploring festive Cuirnif, sampling its culinary delights, word will come to
  them of the Pageant and its opportunities for personal enrichment.7 
  After a taxing journey, perhaps prompted by unfortunate misunderstandings in one’s previous temporary
  abode, the characters take meager hospitality in the ‘Howling Hoon’ Tavern at Gralbel hamlet, a day’s walk
  from the city of Lumarth.8 If the characters are new, each is short on funds and seeking affable employment. A
  fortnight remains before the Grand Pageant One by one the other patrons retire, but those who must share the
  common room ﬂoor sit close to the ﬁre, making introductions whilst sharing a ﬂagon of passable mead donated
  by the affable innkeeper. (If the players themselves are new, it is a chance for them to explain how they came to
  be here after having lived virtuous if sheltered lives in some civilized town or isolated farming community.) 
  Background
  On the desolate Saponid Tundra stand the ruins of ancient Aktabras. Once a year the city mysteriously revives,
  and its residents indulge in vibrant festivities within their magically restored gracious streets and garlanded
  pavilions. No common Lumarthi are known ever to attend this magic spectacle, as the trip across the desolate
  tundra is too frightening even to consider. The Thurists deliver both comestible delicacies and wines and spirits
  to Aktabras by wagon. In return, the Thurists gain beautifully woven items of clothing, ornate rugs, richly
  decorated wall hangings, and rare antique ornaments and trinkets. These items are claimed to be of
  unparalleled spiritual importance, and upon their return to Lumarth are carried into the Palace with much
  ceremony. According to the Thurists, they must be in place at least a full day before the Pageant commences.
  The Thurists have said only that the newly acquired goods are arranged in a sacred room within the Temple, as
  part of an incisive ceremonial display of beneﬁcence and pulchritude that maintains the sun’s strength by
  reﬂecting the glory of the Earth. Heretical rumors claim that these items are in truth stored within the Palace
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
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  7. Hence it is possible to entice your characters into this scenario, even if they are currently miles away from Lumarth and show no
  interest in visiting.
  8. Rates are cheaper here than in Lumarth where prices in the inns rise in anticipation of the Grand Pageant.
  
  63
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  only long enough for a suitably wealthy merchant to collect them. The Thurists aggressively refute such tales.
  They further claim that should this reciprocal tradition ever fail to be performed successfully, then the sun’s
  already ailing fortitude will be critically undermined, and the Earth will come immediately to an end.
  Recruitment
  The Duty of the Felons: On their approach to the city, an affable local farmer will explain that visitors who
  wish to do well in Lumarth can do no better than to observe one particular custom. He explains that it is
  considered good form, on ﬁrst arriving, to stand within the plaza and bellow, at one’s most strident vocal
  capacity, a tirade of denigration against the ﬁve demons whose memory still provokes widespread public
  condemnation. If the travelers follow this advice,9 they will be quickly subdued by a patrol of the Brothers of
  Benevolence, and face punishment for breaking the tenets of the Doctrine of Absolute Altruism. They will
  quickly be sentenced to redeem themselves by accompanying Dondrek’s caravan. In order to ensure compliance,
  the Thurists ritually taint each person with an indelible demon mark. If a further ritual does not remove this
  within two weeks, they say, the mark will draw the attention of underworld entities, with assuredly dire
  consequences. (The mark fades after six days or so, being little more than a clever cantrap.) The Thurists show
  their altruism by granting the characters a full pardon and half pay if they will faithfully accompany Dondrek
  to Aktabras and back.
  Signing On: If the characters are unconvinced by the frolicsome peasant, and thus avoid the charges, Dondrek
  approaches them at the Wayfarers’ Inn. While an unusually generous stipend rewards those who join his
  caravan, Dondrek will at ﬁrst offer a lesser sum.10 His description of the task at hand paints an attractive
  picture of otherworldly festivities. The cynical may question why, if Aktabras is so wondrous, are others not
  eagerly standing in line to perform this duty? In response, Dondrek explains that the Lumarthians are not used
  to travel, and feel ill at ease beyond the city conﬁnes. Those familiar with travel are hard to come by, and he
  claims that the characters ﬁt the requirements perfectly, and that he is desperate for personnel.
  Inveiglement: Should the characters prove loathe to accompany the expedition on what may be a unnecessarily
  arduous experience, Dondrek proves a virtuoso of expediency, tempting their avarice and arrogance to the best
  of his considerable abilities (GMs may increase his skills at will). His conﬁdent manner is startlingly persuasive,
  and his comely and suggestive assistant, Meshali, inspires visions of a journey incorporating ample
  opportunities for the delights of couching with an enthusiastic associate. (Meshali, in reality Dondrek’s
  conniving daughter, will not be accompanying the expedition, and will ‘succumb’ to an unspeciﬁed malaise
  shortly before they are due to depart.) 
  If the characters have opportunity to question locals about the caravan, the Lumarthi know little more than
  that it is a sacrosanct Thurist tradition. Certain gifts of food and drink are taken to Aktabras, and certain
  ornamental relics and materials are returned. (The Thurists arrange for certain of the Brothers of Benevolence
  to adopt disguises and pose as porters, joining the returning caravan at the city limits. Therefore locals
  genuinely believe that the entire caravan returns safely.) City residents of Lumarth are never part of the
  caravan’s general staff. As far as any of them knows, this is because the tradition demands that only proﬁcient
  travellers accompany the expedition. In any event, they know only of details through general rumor. The
  Doctrine of Absolute Altruism insists that certain Thurist rituals, such as this one, are sacrosanct and thus
  beyond the reach of rude speculations by the insufﬁciently holy.
  Under no circumstances will more than half of any promised payment be handed over before the trip begins.
  Although Dondrek himself might be persuaded, Thurist Priests, who will never be face to face with the
  characters, control the purse strings.
  � The City of Lumarth: Caravan to Aktabras �
  9. Should your players follow the advice, it may be time to reassess your relationship with them, and contemplate whether now is the
  time to sell them your car, some other car picked at random in the street, or even a local bridge.
  10. He has no wish to cause comment and arouse undue suspicions by making the opportunity ‘too’ attractive.
  
  �
  Taglines
  “Whilst outwardly your words seem to ring true, I suspect that you speak with less than unqualiﬁed sagacity.”
  “Multi-nodular organisms, even ones deep in repose, instill in me more than moderate dismay.”
  “Your efforts are diverting, I must admit, but perhaps more suited to the entertainment of small children.”
  “Your dour prognostications begin to grate upon my nerves. Cease and desist.”
  “I suggest that such a course of action could only be construed as unnecessarily convoluted.”
  “For myself I have seen enough furze to last me until the sun goes dark.”
  “The prudence of your suggestion is entirely self-evident”
  “Your arguments seem to indicate my suitability for the assignment, but my knees pain me 
  and the responsibility should sensibly be given to one of a more robust health.”
  “I would have responded sooner, but I was beguiled by the magniﬁcence of your hat.”
  “In all candor, your easy manner and unlikely appearance serve only to reinforce my suspicions.”
  �
  Dramatis Personæ
  In order to balance the talents of these incidental individuals against those of our characters, wise GMs may
  wish to apply alterations to the following details, by means of an astutely wielded pencil.
  Dondrek Pharlamat
  “I am convinced that our mission is of the utmost importance towards sanctifying fair Lumarth for the year
  ahead, and aiding our increasingly morbid solar orb. Thus I pledge my every energy towards success, and trust
  that you will do likewise.”
  Dondrek is a local merchant, in league with the Thurists. He makes clandestine deals in which the resultant
  bounty is sold off to traders who remove the evidence to the markets of the south. He is being threatened by
  the Thurists, and is not completely happy with the situation. This is his ﬁrst trip, since the previous merchant
  disappeared mysteriously shortly after the last trip. If questioned, Dondrek falls easily back on religious sanctity
  to support his reluctance to elaborate. His most prominent apparel consists of light blue pantaloons above dark
  brown calf-length walking boots, and a gray travel cloak over a plain purple vest. He sports a jaunty wide-
  brimmed chapeau with a large golden trubob feather.
  Ratings: Persuasion (Forthright) 10, Rebuff (Penetrating) 10, Attack (Caution: Rapier) 8, Defense (Dodge) 7,
  Health 6, Appraisal 8, Athletics 3, Craftsmanship 3, Driving 3, Etiquette 4, Gambling 3, Living Rough 2,
  Pedantry (Mercantile operations) 3, Perception 3, Riding 2, Scuttlebutt 4, Stewardship 6, Wherewithal 3.
  Resistances: Arrogance 2, Avarice 3, Indolence 4.
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
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  � The City of Lumarth: Caravan to Aktabras �
  
  Rarana the Acolyte
  “Some say that a woman’s place is not amongst the Priesthood. I, who traveled widely in my youth and noted
  many women in the highest of ofﬁce, deem otherwise. I suffer the most taxing of duties with stoic perseverance.
  The Priests will one day regret forcing me to travel a fool’s errand with vagabonds and half-wits.”
  Rarana Jupekk is one of the junior Thurist Priests, and has been sent along to safeguard the interests of the
  College. One of the rare female acolytes, she is eager to prove her worth, knowing that she may eventually be
  appointed senior acolyte if she can demonstrate herself to be sufﬁciently ruthless. (Senior Acolyte is the highest
  position a female may achieve within the College of Thurists.) Rarana declines to sport the artfully embroidered
  silk gowns normally worn by Thurist priests, and instead wears a dark red traveling robe with a deep hood,
  which is lined and cuffed with the glossiest erb fur.
  Ratings: Persuasion (Eloquent) 9, Rebuff (Pure-Hearted) 7, Attack (Speed: Rapier) 10, Defense (Intuition) 11,
  Health 5, Athletics 4, Etiquette 3, Pedantry (Theology) 8, Perception 6, Physician 3, Scuttlebutt 2, Stealth 2,
  Wherewithal 4.
  Resistances: Avarice 4, Indolence 3, Gourmandism 3, Rakishness 3.
  �
  Doctor Chomosset
  “Greetings, my fellow travelers upon the face of our aged planet. In frank refusal to accept the end of my days in
  sloth, I wander widely in search of the fascinating and arcane, offering my small skills and large enthusiasm to all
  worthy endeavors.”
  Dondrek has been bribed by Chomosset to permit the Doctor to join them. The Doctor will meet them outside
  the city, as if by accident, posing as a simple scholar who grows intrigued to thoroughly examine the mysteries
  of enchanted Aktabras, and perhaps obtain some triﬂing magics or curios to add to his collection. He
  coincidentally carries sufﬁcient travel rations on his person for a trip of around eight or nine days. Chomosset
  will not reveal his mastery of magic unless essential. He travels inconspicuously in a rusty brown cloak and
  jerkin, jet-black boots, scarlet knee-breeches, and a silver gray skullcap.
  Ratings: Persuasion (Charming 14), (Obfuscatory )10, Rebuff (Lawyerly) 12, Attack (Finesse: Rapier) 10,
  Defense (Misdirection) 11, Health 7, Magic (Studious) 7, Appraisal 7, Athletics 4, Etiquette 5, Gambling 3,
  Living Rough 3, Pedantry (Archaeology) 8, Perception 4, Physician 3, Riding 3, Scuttlebutt 2, Seduction 2,
  Stealth 4, Stewardship 2, Wherewithal 5.
  Resistances: Arrogance 3, Avarice 2, Gourmandism 4, Indolence 5, Pettifoggery 2.
  Spells: Charm of Untiring Legs, Charm of Unending Nourishment, Edan’s Thaumaturgic Poultice, Phandaal’s
  Critique of the Chill.
  � 
  Apart from Rarana, Dondrek’s ofﬁcial assistants currently number only three:
  Pangalam
  “Perchance you glance at these ﬂasks I secure against the saddle of my dryllic. The beverage they contain is as the
  foulest vinegar, and they are an unfortunate medicinal necessity that I must suffer for the sake of my ailing liver.”
  Pangalam is a drunkard and brawler, who offended the Thurists and Brothers of Benevolence at a recent
  market. His home is a town far from the city and he has been incarcerated for over two months without
  anyone inquiring over his whereabouts. He was kept in reasonable conditions, has been offered the generous
  half pay, and has been told that this trip will clear his criminal record. Unless his ﬂasks are stolen or destroyed,
  he will be drunk for the entire journey, having spent his entire payment in advance on alcohol of dubious
  distinction. Pangalam is dressed as a member of the peasantry (as indeed suits his origins), wearing gray
  trousers, battered brown boots, and a pale green jerkin.
  Ratings: Persuasion (Glib) 8, Rebuff (Obtuse) 10, Attack (Strength: Cudgel or Fist) 9, Defense (Parry) 8, Health
  65
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  � The City of Lumarth: Caravan to Aktabras �
  
  8, Athletics (sober) 2, (drunk) 5, Craftsmanship 5, Driving 2, Gambling 2, Scuttlebutt 3, Stewardship 2,
  Wherewithal 2.
  Resistances: None
  �
  Lesorix
  “You ﬁne fellows seem wise in the ways of the world, and thus unafraid of novel experience. I happen to have
  with me a set of multi-faceted gaming pieces from the 19th Aeon. I am as unfamiliar as yourselves with the
  variegations of their disport. Perhaps together we may entertain ourselves around the campﬁre, and even make
  small wagers merely to pass the time in further jollity?”
  Lesorix is a rogue from the south, who failed when he tried to swindle various inﬂuential citizens of Lumarth in
  a series of rigged card games. Fortunately for him, the demon of the month had already received its
  ambassador, and the Caravan to Aktabras had pressing staff requirements. In order to pique his interest further,
  the Thurists explained that he could choose instead to wait a few more weeks and then go and teach the
  Doctrine to one of the Demons. Alternately, they offered him half pay for this trip, and described the decadent
  delights of Aktabras in glowing terms. (See also ‘The Duty of the Felons’ above.) Lesorix has a taste for the
  gaudy, with tall boots of aquamarine below stout trousers of navy blue cloth. His shirt is of the ﬁnest vermilion
  silk, his topcoat a dull royal red, and his peaked cap an offensive orange.
  Ratings: Persuasion (Charming) 13, Rebuff (Contrary) 10, Attack (Cunning: Rapier) 11, Defense (Dodge) 12,
  Health 6, Appraisal 3, Athletics 3, Concealment 4, Etiquette 3, Gambling 7, Imposture 2, Living Rough 3,
  Perception 4, Quick Fingers 5, Riding 2, Scuttlebutt 2, Seduction 3, Stealth 4, Wherewithal 2.
  Resistances: Gourmandism 3.
  �
  Seif the Tracker
  “I know the rolls of the Tundra like the hairs on my palm. Follow my statute to the letter and we need fear no
  danger greater than occasional chirping insects invading our downy bedrolls as we take our repose beneath the
  slowly spinning stars.”
  Seif is an unusual man, who still plies the trade of hunter and tracker about the Isk and its woodlands. His
  knowledge of the rural environment is the best, and his value as security for the caravan seems all but sufﬁcient
  to offset his surly and temperamental attitude. Although he claims familiarity with the Tundra, he has never
  ventured this far from the Isk. He is in dire need of funds to pay off gambling debts he unwisely allowed the
  Brothers of Benevolence to accrue against him. (He is known to have no friends or immediate family, and was
  cheated by the Brothers to put him into this position.) Seif’s clothing gives him away as a hunter of the river
  valleys. The shaded oranges, browns and blacks, which make one almost invisible amongst the trees and
  hedges, broadcast Seif’s location upon the Tundra almost as vividly as if he was accompanied by a clamorous
  troop of minstrels.
  Ratings: Persuasion (Intimidating) 8, Rebuff (Wary) 7, Attack (Caution: Hunting Knife) 11, Defense (Sure-
  Footedness) 10, Health 7, Athletics 4, Concealment 5, Craftsmanship 3, Living Rough 4, Perception 6, Stealth
  5, Tracking 4, Wherewithal 2.
  Resistances: Avarice 2, Indolence 3.
  �
  Beast of Burden: the Dryllic
  Dryllics are comparatively widespread in this region, as their sturdy nature makes them valuable to the
  common farmer and rare merchant traveler alike. The beast resembles a long, low ox, but with legs more akin
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  to a large canine. Normally, dryllics are dark gray, but occasionally come in brown or tan with the occasional
  albino. Chief amongst the animal’s virtues is its omnivorous diet, along with a hardy nature and passive
  disposition. Its only signiﬁcant ﬂaw is its pessimistic outlook that it will share with riders and teamsters at every
  opportunity, as relating its woes and suspicions of gloom in a deep and mournful voice gives it immense
  satisfaction. It can survive on nourishment gained from almost any type of vegetation, which it pauses to
  regurgitate and chew with irritating regularity unless forcefully cajoled.
  Ratings: Persuasion (Intimidation through pessimism) 5, Rebuff (Obfuscatory through unfounded and
  monotonous predictions of doom) 9, Attack (Strength) 3, Defense (Dodge) 2, Athletics 2, Living Rough
  (Dryllic) 12, Wherewithal 2. 
  �
  Caravan and Cargo
  Though Dondrek behaves as if this expedition is a full trading caravan, the total amenities amount to sufﬁcient
  dryllics for each expedition member to ride, three more as general pack beasts, and one sturdy canvas-covered
  wagon containing:
  � 3 barrels of drinking water
  � (16x [number of legitimate travellers]) servings of dried edible lichens and fungus, which serve as trail
  rations
  � 4 canvas tents (each suitable for two persons)
  � Sufﬁcient bedrolls for all personnel
  � 3 large shovels (for any necessary eventuality)
  � 2 spare wagon wheels
  � 17 large steamed goglokki birds, preserved in boxes of hurrumbush sauce
  � 32 warramik puddings (wrapped in lubol cloth)
  � 12 date and syggral pies
  � 24 packets of glazed warbrak nuts
  � 16 small barrels of olnib ale
  � 21 bottles of Lumarth’s ﬁnest quormish
  �
  67
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  � The City of Lumarth: Caravan to Aktabras �
  
  The Journey
  The Saponid Tundra
  The Tundra is beautiful, yet barren. In the evening and early morning the scattered twisted stone outcroppings of
  this rolling landscape are shrouded with subtle colors and delicate shadows. On the horizon, a pallid haze makes
  accurate assessment of distance impossible. The primary vegetation is a gray furze, or gorse, and the soil beneath
  is predominantly composed of pale sand, lying exposed along the trail. The terrain is uneven, even though there
  are few elevations of note, and any number of hazards could be waiting over the next crest of ground. More
  often than not, the only danger immediately beyond any rise is a patch of soft sand that might mire the unwary.
  The land is not suitable for cultivation, other than at its fringes, so neither men nor beasts are common within its
  conﬁnes. The trail to Aktabras is merely this thin line of exposed sand, meandering across the gently rolling
  landscape. On infrequent occasions, a length of ancient roadway reveals itself from beneath the soil, but rarely
  accompanies the travellers for more than a hundred yards. Nonetheless it serves as an indicator that this route
  was once well traveled. Even more rarely, a barely visible ruined section of stone wall also emerges from the
  earth. (The only ruin truly worthy of the name is the tower in which the travellers may spend the second night.)
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  Trials of the Trail
  � Before the ‘caravan’ even leaves the plaza, the travellers must each mount their dryllic and attempt
  mastery of their dour beast.
  � Someone must ﬁnd forage for the beasts and tether them each night.
  � Riding a dryllic or controlling those that pull the wagon are equally arduous undertakings. The
  whining of these animals can drive the strongest to distraction. Once a day each character must test
  their Wherewithal. Dismal Failure means that the characters nerve cracks and they must be given a
  herbal infusion that makes them sleep for the next twenty-four hours. After this they may attempt to
  once more work with dryllic. 
  � Someone must prepare the edible lichens that pass in these parts for travel rations. This chore is
  unnecessarily taxing, as the resultant simmering stew requires constant attention for the better part of
  an hour. Perhaps a simple roster can be peaceably arranged? (Or perhaps not?)
  � Each night on the Tundra, guards must stand watch in rotation. Guarding duty is unlikely to be
  popular, and Persuasion contests will determine who stands watch and for how long.11
  � Lesorix wishes to engage his fellows in games of chance. He carries only his odd historic counters and
  a well-worn pack of cards, but is proﬁcient in several games that nobody else has ever heard of.12
  � Whilst more than averagely austere, Rarana is pleasing to the eye, especially when the evening arrives,
  and a young man’s fancy turns to thoughts of vigorous couching. Is she really so unassailable?
  Rakishness asserts its inﬂuence at least once per evening, as the bravoes (led by Lesorix) vie with each
  other for her favors.
  � At the GM’s discretion, Chomosset may know several intriguing cantraps, and
  may be persuaded to divulge their secrets. Whilst generally of surprising
  benevolence, Chomosset requires large quantities of wealth before even
  considering teaching anything further than a cantrap or two.
  11. If guard duty is not carried out due to idleness, a wise GM may have some unimportant character inexplicably disappear.
  12. Lesorix came bounding to life in the play-test as an encouragement and an example to all characters, attempting to pilfer the
  goods and terces of sleeping fellow travellers as early as Lumarth, and pressing his rakish ways upon Rarana. Furthermore, he was
  the ﬁrst and most successful consumer of the wagon’s sacrosanct cargo of foodstuffs. He might well plant evidence on one of his
  colleagues if suspicions should be aroused.
  
  Day 1: Setting Out
  Dondrek declines to make each triﬂing decision, and leaves incidental details to his underlings. At the outset he
  indicates that the promisingly indolent sinecure of wagon driver is available, and the rest of the group must
  bicker over who is to get the job. Rarana naturally assumes that she will be automatically permitted to repose
  alongside the driver, or make as snug a position for herself as she can within the crowded wagon. She may be
  sadly mistaken. Dondrek will not permit any to ride with him within the wagon unless Persuasion overcomes
  his objections. The additional, potentially perilous, role of outrider is also essential. Unlike the position of
  wagon driver, Dondrek may permit this duty to rotate amongst any suitably competent riders.13 Before
  departing, Dondrek will speak a few words of instruction, advising affability upon the trail, and reminding all
  of his employees that the contents of the wagon are their primary concern, and must be protected from damage
  and thieves with unﬂagging vigilance.
  A Wandering Scholar
  Chomosset waits at a ruined crossroads, some miles from Lumarth. He plays his role as the easy-going
  wanderer with well-practiced aplomb. Dondrek and he have also rehearsed their exchange of pleasantries, and
  he is welcomed into the company.
  First Night (Urbod)
  The caravan stops at Urbod, the most distant hamlet from Lumarth,
  situated on the utter edge of reasonable farming land. The elder
  residents are most sanctimonious. They allow no alcoholic beverages to
  be consumed within the hamlet, and frown heavily on such unessential
  expressions as humor and romance. The young are not so set in their
  ways, and Jolena (the headman’s daughter) is considered shapely.
  Several of the young men are also eager to learn the ways of
  civilization, which thoughtful travellers might decide include gambling
  or drinking games. 
  The members of the caravan are graciously permitted to sleep in the
  public barn, and to dine at the communal meal in the main hall. They
  are also expected to attend the dreary poetry readings and dire attempts
  at mummery that follow. Here, they will certainly be asked if they can
  present their own suitable entertainments in return. Persuasion rolls are
  needed if the characters are to avoid this unbecoming scene of potential
  embarrassment (thus leaving themselves free to dally with those of the village youth who have also declined to
  attend).
  �
  Day 2: Tedium of the Tundra
  A relentless ride across the rolling tundra does little to convince the characters of its scenic merits.
  Second Night (The Tower)
  This is the ﬁrst night in truly unknown territory. The GM might gently and humorously inquire who is used to
  Living Rough. Do erbs roam in packs of a score or more, or does the barren nature of the Tundra mean that
  half-men are rare in the extreme? What is that distant howling in the middle of the night? (A levy of 1 is
  applied to all rolls made on behalf of those unfamiliar with the Saponid Tundra, and Dismal Failures recall
  staggering tales of mortal peril.) Now that the caravan is far from even the spiced gruel served in Urbod, their
  cargo no doubt exerts an alluring siren call. Resistance to Gourmandism would seem in order. After all, a few
  mouthfuls here and there would hardly be missed, would they? 
  69
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  � The City of Lumarth: Caravan to Aktabras �
  � BILDECK the village headman �
  “I do not hold with that sort of
  carry on.”
  Ratings: Persuasion (Pure-
  hearted) 8, Rebuff (Wary) 7,
  Attack (Strength) 11, Defense
  (Sure-Footedness) 10, Health 7,
  Athletics 4, Craftsmanship 4,
  Living Rough 4, Perception 6,
  Stewardship 4, Wherewithal 2.
  Resistances: Indolence 5,
  Rakishness Ω
  13. Or between any of the crew, should all prove equally proﬁcient, or more likely equally inept.
  
  The tower is unknowably old, but remains whole despite the passing of
  time. Entry is now by a window, since the ground ﬂoor is buried. A great
  stone trapdoor is almost completely obscured by the earth on the ﬂoor. An
  upper ﬂoor is likewise accessible should someone scale the exterior of the
  tower, or be able to reach a small square hole up in the ceiling. There is
  plenty of room for beasts and humans inside,14 but the wagon must be
  protected by this night’s guard rotation. (If it is not, then a lone deodand
  makes off with a choice pick of the goods.)
  The Upper Room: This room was surely a magician’s workroom, but has
  been plundered extensively, as well as exposed to the elements through
  gaps in the wall and roof. Fungus-covered fragments scattered across the
  ﬂoor may once have been ﬁne furniture. The only embellishment is a
  mosaic with several glowing stones set into it, decorating one section of
  the wall. It is an anti-theft device, and if a stone is touched, the unwise
  visitor is exposed to a spell that turns their ears long like those of a mule
  or the rummeh beast and causes them to bray during speech. Innovative
  GMs may devise a list of further potential effects that are dependent on
  which stone is touched. The spell lasts for exactly forty-eight hours before
  vanishing as suddenly as it manifested. 
  The Basement: The room below is knee deep in fetid water, and
  unwholesome lumps may once have been tables and chairs. Anyone bold
  enough to explore may unearth a magical or mechanical contrivance, such
  as an item listed in Cugel’s Compendium of Indispensable Advantages. A
  huge aquatic albino centipede resents the intrusion. �
  Day 3: Deceptive beast-men
  Perception successes by the outrider(s) during the afternoon may reveal
  one or more half men lurking in the scrub brush, or skulking beyond the
  brow of a low hill. These shadow the caravan, assessing its strengths. At
  length, as the outrider investigates a rocky slope out of sight of the
  wagon, a lone ﬁgure approaches and attempts to enter into conversation
  whilst two of its companions wait in hiding. This individual, a swarthy
  and bestial fellow dressed in rags, claims to be a man cursed into this
  form by a magician, earnestly seeking news of the civilized world. He
  further tries to persuade the traveler to follow him over the ridge to value
  some intriguing jeweled items discovered in nearby ruins. Should an
  expendable individual such as Seif or Pangalam somehow be persuaded to
  perform the outrider duty, they may vanish inexplicably, leaving only their
  contentedly browsing dryllic, which prefers to answer demands for
  clariﬁcation by assuring all that doom is certain. �
  Third Night (Camping on the Tundra)
  Now that beast-men (or some unknown hazard) has threatened the caravan, Chomosset puts up magical
  defense. This takes the form of silver rods that focus an invisible wall of force. Anyone touching this wall is
  burned and hurled aside. Later, several, deodands attempt to breach it by surprise, with agonizing results.
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  70
  � The City of Lumarth: Caravan to Aktabras �
  14. Persuade contests are needed to get the dryllics to scramble through the window.
  � SAPONIDCENTIPEDE �
  “…”
  Ratings: Attack (Strength) 8,
  Defense (Sure-Footedness) 6,
  Health 7, Athletics 4,
  Wherewithal 2.
  � SOLITARY BEAST-MAN �
  Ratings: Persuasion (Glib) 9,
  Rebuff (Wary) 7, Attack
  (Ferocity) 11, Defense (Sure-
  Footedness) 10, Health 4,
  Athletics 4, Living Rough 7,
  Perception 6, Wherewithal 2.
  Note that other beast-men tend
  to substitute intimidation for
  Glib.
  Resistances: None
  
  (much howling and the smell of singed ﬂesh.) For a time, they gibber and cajole, testing the steadfastness of the
  travellers, offering to leave them alone if they send just one of their number out for more personal discourse.
  Later, one of their number may be thrown over the wall by his comrades and needs to be dispatched as he riﬂes
  the wagon or attempts to slay the travellers.
  �
  Day 4: The Ruins
  Little is left of Aktabras, save hummocks marking buried foundations and barely discernible roadways. At the
  city’s center is the large dome of a partly buried structure much blasted by the winds of ages and left without
  deﬁnition. Chomosset is interested in exploring before night falls. A character’s Illustrious Success whilst
  exploring results only in the discovery of a two-foot long metal rod buried in the dirt. This is not corroded, and
  has an indiscernible carving at one end. 
  �
  Aktabras
  As the evening falls, Aktabras reappears gradually, forming from a mist that swirls from crevices amongst the
  ruins. Its appearance is heralded by displays of fantastic colored lights drifting overhead. At ﬁrst the whole
  scene appears utterly ghostlike, but gradually solidiﬁes, as do sounds of merriment and discourse. In less than
  an hour, the travellers are standing in what, for all practical purposes, is a normal city, albeit one of ancient
  splendor. The noise and motion come only from the central section, and exploring the outer reaches reveals
  them as empty and sinister. When the characters reach the city center, waste no embellishment in describing the
  vibrant costumes and fervent manner of the citizens. 
  Soon, an obsequious ofﬁcial (possibly a priest, since his manner and dress somewhat resemble that of the
  Thurists of Lumarth), will approach Dondrek. He is clad in silver robes and wears a golden mask that obscures
  his entire head, and offers to accept delivery of their goods. (If characters are sufﬁciently attentive to inquire,
  the Priest also wears gloves, and so his skin is in no place visible.) Two individuals in slightly less gaudy robes,
  but equally all-encompassing masks, form his honor guard at all times. Each bears a stout staff topped with an
  arcane symbol. The characters will be required to fetch the goods from the wagon, as the dryllics absolutely
  refuse to come near the ghosts.
  The ‘Priests’ are deodands under the compulsion of Aktabras’ resident demon ‘Jampash’, and their normally
  voracious appetites are restrained. Should characters rip the mask from a Priest and expose the deodand
  beneath, nearby citizens will react with horror, as will Dondrek and Rarana and the other caravan crew.
  Pandemonium will ensue as other deodands emerge from hiding. Dondrek and Rarana will be allowed to ﬂee,
  and one other GMC may also elude capture (see below). All other caravan crew will be pursued or fought, and
  come to their captivity sooner than would otherwise occur.
  Temptations Aplenty
  Presuming the characters’ actions permit some time for satisfying diversion, they will ﬁnd that the citizens of
  Aktabras appear to be normal physical beings, intent only on enjoying their festival. They are the victims or
  creations of a great and ancient magic, which also binds the demon to this place, and should be portrayed as
  even more vague and otherworldly than the normal inhabitants of the Dying Earth. None suspect that their
  existence is anything but ordinary, although persistent questions may cause a resident to recall that his or her
  memories of anything other than a series of annual festivals are admittedly somewhat vague. To them, this
  particular festival is the ‘All Praise the Stars’, and they know that the city is ruled by Lord Zimba, as well as
  other obvious facts, but nothing of any usefulness.
  Alluring maidens and strapping youths (Resist Rakishness), delightful banquets (Resist Gourmandism), and
  opportunities to gamble one’s terces for trinkets at exotic games and contests (Resist Avarice) abound. One
  could simply choose to lounge at the edge of a wine-ﬁlled pool, being fed grapes by charming handmaidens
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  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  
  (Resist Indolence). During the early part of the night, Dondrek (who is
  acutely aware that his life hangs in the balance if he does not play his
  role) surreptitiously notiﬁes the ‘Priest’ as to who is acceptable as sacriﬁce.
  Observant characters, who have made their Resistance rolls, may note this
  exchange.
  Anyone who wishes to depart from the revelries and explore the city must
  make the appropriate Resistance rolls. Many distractions might present
  themselves, in the form of personal ornaments, delightful household
  decorations, or even bulging purses (no doubt stuffed with antique coins).
  Should a character be apprehended in the act of theft, they will be asked
  to return their booty, and thereafter be treated with suspicion, but no
  further reparation will be sought. Characters should be encouraged to
  give free reign to their appetites. The huge stone door to the central dome
  is visible in this illusion of the city, but remains inaccessible, as it is buried
  beneath many feet of packed sand.
  The Cruel Truth
  The City of Aktabras was once a twin to Lumarth, and its demon is
  entombed beneath the central dome. More than a generation ago, two
  Thurists from Lumarth, who were both minor magicians in the days
  before the ban, came to plunder Aktabras during the day of its revival.
  Instead they encountered Jampash. They successfully bargained for their
  lives, promising to return each year, offering fresh victims in exchange for
  small portions of the city treasures.
  This agreement satisﬁed all until Chaladet the Great (then in his ﬁrst years
  of ofﬁce) became involved. He demanded a share of the loot, and invented
  the ‘tradition’ of the caravan, claiming publicly that it was the revival of
  an older practice. Whilst the two original Thurists have long since been
  removed from the equation, the tradition remains. Now it has become
  established in local myth, and any that bother to cogitate over this event
  assume that it must truly be a continuing custom from the previous aeon.
  Dondrek and Rarana are alert to the perils. The terrible secret of the
  Thurists’ bargain is that each year at least four victims must be brought to
  the city and left to their own devices. Every year these people (who tend to be recruited with minimum
  ostentation from the ranks of newly arrived strangers, patently undistinguished individuals from the
  surrounding country, or unremarkable petty criminals) vanish, and the citizens of Lumarth are none the wiser.
  Capture
  As dawn approaches, it is customary that the ofﬁcial caravan personnel (in this case Dondrek and Rarana) will
  be allowed to collect a quota of valuables, dependent on the quality of human sacriﬁces that were brought. By
  this time, each of the sacriﬁces will have departed from the city. This could be through a suddenly opening
  trapdoor, down a water chute opening whilst the character frolics in a fountain, or being grappled from behind
  through a door that opens without warning. Astute GMs may observe that seeing one character abruptly vanish
  in a mysterious or violent way might lead the others to attempt to ﬂee such a fate. The ghostly citizens are not
  part of the act, and are only bemused by any pleas for assistance, and terriﬁed by threats of violence. Should
  one of them be intentionally injured, they do not bleed, a reality that causes them some puzzlement.15 
  A merry chase, followed by a decisive coshing, can add great merriment to the game. Otherwise, hidden
  trapdoors and other mechanisms act instead. All deodands dress as priests, with long robes and ceremonial
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
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  � The City of Lumarth: Caravan to Aktabras �
  Necklets of carcasite are
  believed by some to encourage
  true dreams, foretelling the
  future. Anklets are thought to
  allow dreamers to travel to the
  land of which they dream and
  experience their dreams in the
  ﬂesh.
  15. Should any characters attempt to leave the city’s conﬁnes, Jampash’s deodands hasten to retrieve any would-be escapees.
  
  masks obscuring their identities. In the play-test, the characters grew slowly more suspicious, and engineered to
  ambush one of the ‘Priests’. This ambitious plan failed, and the expedient ‘chase and coshing’ option proved
  satisfyingly effective.
  �
  The Dining Room: Other than Dondrek, Rarana, and either Lesorix or Chomosset (whichever is least friendly
  to the main characters) every other character will come to consciousness inside their own small barred cage, in
  which there is barely enough room to stoop upright. There are sufﬁcient cages, plus several spares, hung by
  chains from the roof of the cave, and dangling ten yards above the ﬂoor. The characters can observe each other
  easily by the light of several torches that ﬂicker with an eerie blue light, and are attached to the walls. The cave
  is sparsely decorated as some rather rude dining hall with a long stone platform serving as a table, and with
  rocks instead of seats. A great metal cauldron stands in a ﬁreplace next to what appears to be an
  uncomfortably large food preparation block in which is embedded a prodigious meat cleaver. 
  Those with good vision may discern several long bones lying about the room, which have been cracked open
  (possibly in order to suck out the marrow). Furthermore, the robes and masks worn by their foes in the city are
  now casually discarded near one end of the table, and their own obvious weapons are stacked neatly in a
  corner of the cave. The chains that support the cages are attached to stout metal cog-wheels against a far wall.
  It is impossible by any ordinary means to reach one of these chains from within a cage.
  Exiting from the Cages:
  � Two cages, swung energetically, may (after some time and effort) be impelled to strike each other.
  Eventually this will cause sufﬁcient damage that one set of bars will be bent enough to allow a character
  to squeeze free.
  � The characters have not been thoroughly searched. If the metal bar was discovered in the ruins above, it
  proves adequate in prying the bars apart.
  � Unexpected resource. (If the characters possess some unusual or unique ability, item, or effect, this can be
  used to aid their escape.)
  After recovering their weapons, it might be opportune to dictate an encounter with the dastardly deodands. No
  one has previously escaped the cages, and so the characters have the advantage of surprise. Whilst classical
  opportunities for bloodshed are rare in the DERPG stories, a vigorous engagement at this critical juncture may
  enhance the already apprehensive atmosphere.
  Alternatively, the characters may encounter the half-
  men in the corridors and successfully hide as they pass.
  The Catacombs: Torches may be taken from the walls
  of the cave, and the mysteries, horrors, and wonders of
  the adjacent catacombs can be explored. It will take
  some time to pass through the tunnels. The characters
  will pass by, or through, various rooms, and creative
  GMs might like to invent several further dusty and
  echoing chambers, plus a map. This area can be as
  simple or as complex as desired. The characters will be
  able to follow the trail that the deodands (and
  something with larger feet) have made in the dirt.
  Many other passages lead away without a trail, and
  each leads to certain peril.
  The Chamber of Torment: In this horriﬁc torture
  chamber is a small red-skinned and wrinkled
  individual named Ompolomp. An extremely minor
  demon who may be dispatched with ease, he will
  73
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  � The City of Lumarth: Caravan to Aktabras �
  Visitors to the Catacombs should avail themselves
  of the opportunity to view what is perhaps the
  ﬁnest work of the mosaicist Ranpole. Note the
  witty use of lamps in niches masquerading as
  windows to cast light on this magniﬁcent creation.
  
  squeal with an offensive clamor when injured or alarmed for his safety. Chained here in perpetual agony is
  Darsten (possibly being tormented at this exact moment), one of the two minor magicians who originally
  discovered Jampash, and was betrayed by the Thurists. His discomforting lack of limbs makes successful
  restoration to society unlikely, although his eagerness for revenge prompts him to demand that he be carried to
  Jampash. On gaining sight of the demon, he promises to reveal his secret knowledge of how it may be slain, so
  he can revel in its defeat. (In matter of fact, Jampash can only be temporarily stunned, but Darsten does not
  reveal this triﬂing exactitude.) Should the characters refuse Darsten’s offer of help, he will allude to his
  knowledge to try and convince them of his sincerity. He will also assure them that there is no egress from this
  complex without passing the demon.
  The Aktabras Archives: The huge ornate door to this room depicts scrolls and open tomes, clearly revealing its
  purpose. It will need to be opened by force or Pick Lock ability. Within is a small library of all manner of
  literature, but all in languages of the previous aeon. The value is incredible, but if the PCs begin to collect a few
  souvenirs, Darsten will announce that anything taken from the catacombs without ﬁrst being unenchanted by
  Jampash disappears on passing beyond the city’s bounds. As they examine this room, a mottled leucomorph
  may attack from its resting place upon the ceiling, possibly ending the life of a GMC before being outpaced by
  the main characters.16 
  The Lower Hall: One circular room through which the PCs pass has only half a ﬂoor. A wide pit takes up its
  entire center. This pit drops abruptly away into nothingness, although a narrow stair leads down around its
  edge. A stone lectern indicates that ceremonies once took place here, but no other evidence remains. The ﬂoor
  at the far end of the room has collapsed into a yawing chasm, presumably due to subsidence. To move on from
  here, they must cross using a fallen column as a bridge as many have done before them.
  The Robing Room: Once a place of preparation for the Priesthood, this is now the lair of Jampash’s deodands.
  The half-men normally reside amongst the miraculously preserved ceremonial regalia. This much is evidenced
  by their refuse, which includes spoor and the remains of unfortunate travellers and their equipment.
  The Waiting Room: A corridor ascends to a large wooden door, decorated with arcane runes burned into its
  surface. Before it is reached, an archway opens in the left wall, where another door stands ajar. The small
  chamber beyond echoes with voices. Characters hear Rarana anxiously ponder why it is taking Jampash’s
  servants so long to collect the sacriﬁces for evaluation. Dondrek groans in reply, complaining of a great horror
  that only increases the longer he remains below the ground. Other than the two Lumarthi, there is little in this
  room, barring stone benches and thick dust, although an archway leads to a short corridor that passes into
  Jampash’s chamber, effectively by-passing the huge door. 
  �
  Opportunities for deception and revenge abound at this juncture. Dondrek may declare ﬁrmly that he was
  acting under violent compulsion from the Thurists, and that his entire livelihood hangs in the balance. Rarana
  may in turn explain that she is merely performing her religious obligations as so ordered. She will attempt to
  convince the PCs that it is their duty to sacriﬁce themselves in order for the sun’s longevity to be supported.
  Before the characters enter the room beyond, Darsten will explain that his researches long ago revealed that
  whilst Jampash, like fellow demon Phampoun, detests sunlight, it is not as great a weakness as it is for his
  fellow. Jampash is vulnerable if the bulbous node at the nape of his neck is struck with force. In the previous
  aeon, the priests of Aktabras (who presumably were considerably bolder than the Thurists) used such actions as
  a means of punishing Jampash if he failed to obey them. Darsten himself was delivered to Jampash securely
  bound, and was thus unable to utilize this information.
  The Chamber of Jampash
  The main door to this chamber is closed, although it is possible to enter through the waiting room. This great
  circular hall lies beneath the central city dome, and is ﬁlled with glittering baubles and fascinating relics.
  Jampash has decorated his environment by collecting every last treasure and ﬁne fabric that the city has to
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  74
  � The City of Lumarth: Caravan to Aktabras �
  16. Or it may even be contemptuously dispatched, as stranger things have happened.
  
  offer. He has accumulated these in great piles around his stone throne. This depository of the city’s riches is at
  ﬁrst glance a literal gold mine of opportunity. Unfortunately, all goods taken that have not ﬁrst been
  unenchanted by Jampash (a task that is extremely arduous for him) will vanish when they leave the outer
  conﬁnes of the city ruins.
  Whenever they arrive, Jampash (a hideous dog-headed, multi-noded, hairless, clawed creature with bat’s wings
  and a crimson skin, who is twice the size of a burly man) is in repose, seated upon his vast throne, which
  fortunately faces the main door, and not the antechamber.
  A sturdy pulley system is rigged to the ceiling of the dome, and the large platform it is attached to hangs
  overhead, adjacent to a human-sized crack in the domed ceiling, through which the stars are visible. Stacked at
  the point where this platform might rest on the ground when lowered, are several bulging sacks of trinkets and
  rolls of ﬁne fabric (all unenchanted), plus all the goods brought from Lumarth.
  The pulley is normally operated by the might of Jampash. Heaving with his demonic muscles, he can lift what
  otherwise takes three burly individuals to transport. This effort is needed to lift one person (or equivalent
  weight of treasures) from the ﬂoor of the cavern to the gaping crack in the top of the dome. (The sacks are
  normally lowered to the ground outside by ropes from there, and individuals must climb a crude rope ladder,
  which was lowered by the deodands an hour or so ago.)
  How the characters will choose to make their attack on Jampash is up to
  them. One might engage in Imposture or Obfuscation, whilst another
  sneaks up around piles of treasure, armed with a stout cudgel or the
  cleaver. When Jampash is struck, he will be rendered helpless and lie
  quivering in agony, but is otherwise so tough as to be virtually
  invulnerable to all but mighty magics. His discommodation is only
  temporary, and he continues to shudder and groan. If the characters fail
  utterly in their attempt, Lesorix or Chomosset (whichever evaded capture)
  climbs to the crack in the dome. By sheer accident, whilst trying to
  stealthily pull the platform towards him (to avail himself of its valuable
  contents), he releases the break on the ropes. It plummets down to strike
  Jampash upon the head and shoulders (and node), rendering him
  senseless, or distracts the demon at a vital moment, allowing a character
  to strike. The ropes fall from the pulley, rendering the platform useless.
  If the characters successfully inconvenience Jampash, the platform will
  fall anyway. Despite this minor setback, Lesorix or Chomosset is still at
  the advantage. He shouts down to explain that secured up here is a long
  rope ladder, surely sufﬁcient to reach the ﬂoor of the dome. There is also a
  rope at the end of which is a stout basket, and he requires this to ﬁrst be
  ﬁlled with choice valuables. He assures them that when he has secured
  these valuables within his pack he will drop the ladder.
  When Jampash shows signs of stirring, further applications of force prove
  effective. If the GM needs to encourage haste, perhaps the deodands will
  be heard returning. They may be temporarily sealed beyond a barred
  door, but will exert impressive stamina by throwing themselves against the
  door and gradually weakening it. Indeed, perhaps more of the unusual
  underworld leucomorphs sense Jampash’s vulnerability, and slowly emerge
  from the depths. With the platform having scattered the spoils, characters
  will need to resist Avarice in order to be amongst the ﬁrst up the rope
  ladder. How much time they have to collect easily portable gems, coins
  and trinkets is up to the GM.
  Should Lesorix or Chomosset be unwilling to lower the rope, the
  75
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  � The City of Lumarth: Caravan to Aktabras �
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  � JAMPASH �
  “I am a demon. You are a light
  repast. I see no reason why I
  should be expected to indulge in
  witty repartee or litter my speech
  with epigrams.”
  Ratings: Persuade (Intimidating)
  12, Rebuff (Wary) 14, Attack
  (Strength) 35, Defense
  (Parry/Invulnerability) 25,
  Health 18, Perception 6. 
  Resistances: None
  Note that the demon can ﬂy as
  well as run considerably faster
  than any of the PCs.
  
  characters are thrown upon their own resources. Dondrek or Rarana might advise them that unless they escape
  before the sun rises, they will be trapped within the enchantment and lost to the world forever, as only the
  deodand servants of Jampash can go free when he commands them. One possible avenue of escape is for
  someone to hold fast to the demon’s neck and menace his vulnerable node with a sharp weapon, forcing him to
  ﬂy up and reattach the pulley rope.17
  �
  Aftermath
  Jampash traditionally provided an escort of three deodands to ensure the caravan’s safety until it came within
  sight of Urbod. The reliability of these creatures was enforced by dint of arcane agreements they have entered
  into with Jampash. If the characters return to Lumarth they might successfully assume other identities and
  mingle with the Pageant crowds.18 Perhaps a bargain will be struck with Rarana, presuming she survives?
  Jampash himself will eventually recover, but has no choice but to wait beneath the ruins of Aktabras, as he is
  bound to its fate. Still, he may retain yet more deodand servants, who pursue the characters and attempt to
  take revenge and recover the stolen treasures.
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  76
  � The City of Lumarth: Caravan to Aktabras �
  17. In the playtest, Lesorix was at the top, and received a bag load of enchanted valuables (that later vanished) and was persuaded to
  lower the rope ladder. Chomosset and the main characters barely escaped up the ladder as the deodands smashed in the door,
  although the other GMCs were too slow. The unfortunate Dondrek was the last person able to ascend the ladder, and was dragged
  off by a pursuing deodand almost within an arm’s reach of safety.
  18. Only to be recognized and apprehended at a later date in order for the GM to catapult them into another escapade.
  NOBEL ENDOLANK’S TRAVELLING SPECTACULAR
  Now resident in Kaiin for a limited duration, a show containing
  most WONDROUS & ENTERTAINING performers of human, half-man, and animal species.
  See Portan Wimsh and his Incredible Gymnastic Luzzel!
  �
  Gasp at the Energetic Sprike and his Cavorting Deodand!
  �
  Marvel at the Charming Claryssa and her Performing Eels!
  �
  Applaud the Heroic One-Armed Pandrus and his Friendly Erbs!
  �
  Prove Your Strength and WIN BULGING PURSES OF TERCES at the Madlock Wrestling
  Try Your Hand at the Endolank’s Tables of Certain Fortune (Every Entrant a Winner!)
  �
  Poke Sticks at the Caged Laharq and Watch It Snarl!
  Such is our renown that no doubt DIVERS ATTRACTIONS of equally PUISSANT DISTINCTION will also be
  joining us prior to the commencement of the season. Book now in your droves to prevent great
  personal disappointment. Our One and Only Ofﬁcially Sanctioned Booking Booth is sited at the Kaiin
  Market. Proffer your hard-earned (or rightfully inherited) terces to no other charlatans. (Location of
  Performance to be Announced Shortly.)
  All customers note that our entertainments have nothing to do with the disreputable Andobang’s Travelling Show
  so recently driven out of Sfere after the unfortunate incident with the escaping hoons and the elderly citizens’ excursion.
  ☞
  ☞
  
  77
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  T
  he city of Forrell’s Port is the largest and most
  cosmopolitan urban center in the Sousanene
  Exterior Region, which, as Rhialto once quipped,
  is praise on par with being the least ravenous of
  deodands or perhaps the most handsome of
  Pelgranes. Ignoring the snide comments of Almery
  dandies who consider a brief stop in the felarn
  (literally, ‘visitor pit’) of the South to be ‘visiting
  the wilderness’, the fact remains that Forrell’s Port
  is, in all candor, the ‘Gateway To The North’, the
  portal through which merchants and tradesmen
  pass from around the Sea of Slow Tides to the
  Almerical Regions. Approaching from the Sea, a
  visitor will ﬁrst see nothing but utter splendor –
  the low, sloping hills (which become, in time, the
  Stoop-Shouldered Mountains) are covered with
  endless sprawling roads and dwellings, piled one
  after another, seemingly without limit. It is only
  upon docking and proceeding further that it
  becomes evident that the vast majority of the city
  is ruin and waste; only a comparatively small
  section in a tight circle around the seaport remains
  fully inhabited, and even that shows signs of
  considerable wear. A traveler used to the
  interesting and exotic customs of the Sousanene
  Coast (see XPS Issues 2 & 3) might ﬁnd Forrell’s
  Port a refreshing respite indeed. As a city which
  clings to life only by being attractive to all, from
  Kaiinish shellﬁsh sellers to Dweelari vorthans and
  agents of the Feathered Princes, it cannot afford to
  toss those who wear a Scaumish many-tiered hat
  into the mire-scorpion pits, no matter how much such a fellow truly deserves it, nor remove a man’s ankle
  solely because he drinks Violet Mendolence from a copper, rather than a brass, tankard. No, indeed not!
  Tolerance and brotherhood are ever the watchwords in Forrell’s Port, and, if someone should take offense at
  the heathen and barbaric acts of a traveler, well, his response to such must be tolerated as well. As they say in
  Forrell’s Port: “He who drinks mermelant milk with his left hand had best hold his hat with his right!” 
  The nomenclature of the regions of Forrell’s Port reveals much of its history. There is the Merchant’s Quarter,
  the Upper Sector, the Lower Ward, the Dock District, the Middle Center, the Traveler’s Region, and so on.
  Likewise, the streets, lanes, alleyways, and passages blur into one another without obvious rationale; Green
  Deodand Street becomes Third Avenue (Left) for a length of 20 paces, then is Green Deodand Street again,
  except that the ﬂow of trafﬁc is now reversed and foolish outsiders who cannot bother to understand simple
  rules of direction are likely to be trampled under mermelant-drawn carriages. Furthermore, as bridges collapse
  or roads crack to the point of total disintegration, there is little incentive to repair them, so the ﬂow of trafﬁc
  � Forrell’s Port �
  Lizard
  Myrna the Rootless has provided incontrovertible proof that the estimable Lizard may have been suffering from 
  
  simply spills over into other channels.1 As the city has been built, conquered, destroyed, and rebuilt over the
  ages, individual buildings which survive one calamity retain their old addresses, such that a blacksmith said to
  be located ‘at Number 12 in the Green Zone’ may be directly next door to an inn identiﬁed as being found in
  ‘the Middle Center, building AD, cannot miss it’, without there being any obvious demarcation. As a rule,
  without a native guide, ﬁnding your way from the lower ﬂoor of an inn to the upper ﬂoor is a difﬁcult
  endeavor. Fortunately for travellers, locating a guide is simple. One never has any trouble in ﬁnding an
  enterprising young man or woman who will perform the dual services of leading you through the city and
  reducing the back and shoulder pain to be had from carrying a pouch heavy with terces. Rarely is such
  generosity seen in Sousanene, and it should be responded to with all due grace and gentility. Attempts to
  navigate Forrell’s Port without such a guide can be based on Pedantry, Perception, or Scuttlebutt, as the GM
  sees ﬁt. For maximum amusement, choose whichever of the three is lowest. To begin the process, consider that
  each journey from one point to another consists of three stages. Each success of Hair’s Breadth or Prosaic
  nature moves the character one stage closer to their goal; Quotidian or Exasperating Failure means the
  character is neither more nor less distant, but simply lost. An Illustrious Success places the character at the
  doorstop immediately, while a Dismal Failure means the character looks up with frustration to ﬁnd himself
  standing at his point of departure. Boons and Levies may be applied with a heavy hand based on the frivolous
  whims of the GM or the need to advance the story with all due alacrity. 
  Given the nature of Forrell’s Port, a map would be pointless. Thus, rather than provide some spurious chart of
  buildings with small circled numbers leading to a pedantic and dull key, it is instead the case that this essay
  simply notes many of the more interesting sites of the city, and allows their relationship to each other to be
  made based on the undeniably correct and ﬂawless judgments of the GM. Those who would deny the rightness
  of such judgments are ﬂorp-wallowers and churds, and fully deserve any such fates as may befall them.
  �
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  78
  � Forrell’s Port �
  An Example
  Norvane of Kaiin, having narrowly escaped the Wardens of the Valley of Cages and made his way
  past the other hazards of the area, has at last reached Forrell’s Port. He stands at the Great
  Northern Gate that marks the easternmost edge of the city. A scruff-faced urchin of indeterminate
  gender implies that a terce or two will ease Norvane’s quest, while subtly hinting that failure to
  pay such terces might result in a wrathful rebuke from a knot-muscled gentleman of ill manner
  leaning against a crumbling column. Norvane ignores both promise and threat and proceeds
  onwards. Norvane lacks Perception or Pedantry, but is somewhat skilled at asking questions.
  Thus, he chooses to navigate by Scuttlebutt, in which his pool measures a somewhat tepid 5.
  Nonetheless, how hard can it be to traverse a small city from one gate to the Inn of Blue Frogs,
  where his companions no doubt await? His ﬁrst roll is a Prosaic Success; a gray-haired matron
  points languidly down a crumbling boulevard that leads him into the more built-up (or, rather,
  less fallen-down) parts of town. He is one ‘stage’ there; two more to go. Some more questioning
  yields confusion and contradiction; an Exasperating failure causes him to waste 15 minutes
  asking at the Inn of Blue Fogs for his friends. His pool is now at 3; he questions one more person
  and receives clear directions – a Prosaic Success has placed him near the docks. Almost there, he
  inquires about a shortcut, since he is already very late. A smiling man points him at a tunnel that
  will place him at the very front of the Inn. Unfortunately, a Dismal Failure results in the tunnel
  expelling him back by the Great Northern Gate, where he glumly hands a stack of terces to the
  smirking youth and, with expert guidance, ﬁnds himself at the Inn in mere minutes. 
  1. Any accidental resemblance between the street layout of Forrell’s Port and that of certain cities of the Larval Age, located on the
  Western Coast of the Americas, and famed for their bridges and sour bread, is utterly without cause, purpose, or design.
  
  79
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  Locations of note
  The Library of Nine Knowledges
  Built during the reign of Fandwort Noom the Three-Sevenths Mad, the library is a gorgeous structure
  exemplifying the 21st Aeon revival of the 19th Epoch ‘14th Aeon Recreation Period’, with cupolas, gantries,
  and turrets lurching gracefully from every roof and wall. The interior is a vast, spacious, place, with artfully
  twisting staircases spiraling about each other and ﬂoors jutting at aesthetic angles from the walls. There is room
  inside for an auditorium, three lecture halls, a symphonarium, a greenhouse, and an extraordinary amount of
  sculpture, much of it dating to the ‘Second Glory’ days of Lost Kuriin and supplied by Neviinish (see XPS 3)
  divers down on their luck.2
  The only thing this magniﬁcent ediﬁce lacks is books; there are fewer here than in the much smaller libraries of
  Almery and Ascolais. Said Fandwort: “Do not bother me with such trivialities! It is the form which contains
  knowledge, not the knowledge which is contained, which is paramount!”
  Tower of Higher Justice
  Squat, gray, and lurching, the Tower of Higher Justice looms out of the mists like a particularly slow deodand
  about to pounce. ‘Functionality’ is the watchword here; no brick or board was used unless it serves an absolute
  and undeniable purpose. “The absolute antithesis of the Law of Aesthetic Design” is the description given by
  Grinwald Meer, Second Architect to the Heights. It is a building most wish to avoid, and for reasons beyond
  artistic distaste. This is where Prince Moriaz, current leader of Forrell’s Port, dispenses justice, ruling on all
  � Forrell’s Port �
  2. “Down on one’s luck” seems a mild euphemism for the situation where one dives, expecting to salvage bottle after bottle of much
  sought-after ancient vintages and returns groaning under the weight of a veritable incubus of unfashionable and virtually unsaleable
  statuary.
  
  cases deemed by the Council of Orderers to be of the ‘Severe’ or ‘Demonic’ grades. The penalty for such crimes,
  which include murder, maiming, robbing of merchants, removal of blue stones from the harbor, and similar
  odious acts, is invariably death; the function of the Tower is to determine the means of death, the duration of
  the execution, and the precise degree of agony to be endured. Ages of careful research and study have enabled
  the Transitioning Agents, those men of somber mien who carry out the judgments of the court, to control pain
  and duration to an exacting degree. Those who perish here, and there are many, are at least comforted in some
  small way by the fact they are in the hands of consummate professionals.3
  Tower of Plain Justice 
  The Tower of Plain Justice is a long, ﬂat building composed of white marble veined with crimson and gold; it
  possesses none of the traits usually associated with the word ‘tower’. This alone makes it exceptionally difﬁcult
  for outsiders to locate. The interior is spacious, but is usually crammed full of supplicants and litigants of all
  sorts, each vying desperately for a few moments with a judge, or, failing that, an Assistant Orderer, Case
  Reviewer Third Class, or even an Intercedent of The Red Robe. All cases not judged ‘Severe’ or ‘Demonic’,
  including but not limited to those graded ‘Ordinary Major’, ‘Ordinary Minor’, ‘Twice Ordinary’, ‘Intriguing’,
  and ‘Zefﬂous’, are dealt with here, according to law, custom, tradition, and whim. Minor thefts, vandalism,
  public indecencies, and drinking fermented mermelant blood out of season all ﬁll the dockets of this tower. As a
  rule, getting a case heard by anyone empowered to do anything about it will take 2d6 days of constant
  bargaining. Those wishing to expedite matters might consider Scuttlebutt to ﬁnd out who is the best person
  with whom to speak, Seduction to win someone to your side, or Gambling to get someone to give up their
  place in line.
  Outerdock 
  The tang of salt air mixed with the mouth-watering aroma of sea dolsan
  split open and roasting on wooden slats; the hail and cry of seafarers from
  across the Sea of Slow Tides, Almery, and even further lands; the sight of
  a thousand colors of cloth; these are the sensory impressions of
  Outerdock according to Forrell’s Port: A Travellers Guide, available for
  one terce from any bookseller of good reputation.4 The reality is slightly
  less romantic; the tangy air tends to have a rotting odor to it, grilled
  dolsan is an acquired taste at best (and may shock or horrify individuals
  who kept dolsan as pets in their youth, as is common in Kaiin), and while
  the dock is indeed ﬁlled with seafarers from distant lands, they are far
  more inclined to slit your purse and throat (not always in that order) than
  entertain you with jigs and tell you tales of exotic creatures. Nonetheless,
  for those traveling by sea, Outerdock is the point of debarkation for
  Forrell’s Port. The dock area itself is surrounded by a blend of warehouses
  and taverns, all carefully marked in the Forrellian style, which places
  Warehouse 23 precisely between Warehouse B2 and Warehouse IV. Guides
  are recommended. Likewise, it is well worth noting that, as the city has
  aged, large portions of the dock area have fallen into disuse, while others
  remain active; these separate areas are all called ‘Outerdock’. The natives
  always know which Outerdock is which; visitors will likely end up at the
  incorrect point unless guided.
  The Purple Bazaar
  There is some debate over the precise origin of this name by which the
  main free-form shopping district of Forrell’s Port is known. Some claim
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
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  � Forrell’s Port �
  3. This is at least the claim made by Prince Moriaz and who are we to gainsay him?
  4. Should such an establishment elude you, we have it on good authority that this invaluable reference work is to be seen on the
  shelves of lesser establishments for virtually the same price.
  
  that, at the time of the founding, the terces used in the city had a purplish cast to them. Others claim purple
  was the color of the Guild of Mercantilers during the 18th Aeon, and the name thus evoked ancient traditions.
  Still others claim the cloth of the booths used to be a brilliant purple. The most likely explanation, though, was
  that the bazaar was named after the color certain patrons turn after discovering the true quality of the goods
  they have purchased. Regardless of origins, those seeking the transmundane had best venture here, where it can
  oft times be found. Unlike the staid shops that cater mostly to locals, the Bazaar specializes in items of interest
  to foreign visitors. Rare magics (blocked from functioning in the bounds of the city for safety reasons), ancient
  artifacts,5 the shrunken skull of an over-grue,6 and similar wonderments await the buyer. At times both
  wondrous and rare, genuine items of true potency are offered for sale; locating such among the more dubious
  items is left as an exercise for the canny buyer.
  Inn of Blue Frogs 
  Run by Mazorn Blone, the Inn of Blue Frogs is a common meeting place for out-of-towners, being reasonably
  clean, reasonably safe, and reasonably cheap, at least if you are reasonable about your expectations of the term
  ‘reasonable’. Mazorn loathes and despises the owner of the competing Inn of Blue Fogs, which was created
  solely to steal his clientele.
  Inn of Blue Fogs 
  Run by Mazorm Blome, the Inn of Blue Fogs is a common meeting place for out-of-towners, being reasonably
  clean, reasonably safe, and reasonably cheap, at least if you are reasonable about your expectations of the term
  ‘reasonable’. Mazorm loathes and despises the owner of the competing Inn of Blue Frogs, which was created
  solely to steal his clientele.
  Morvane Street 
  Morvane Street runs crosspendicular through the city, providing a traveler with a view of Forrell’s Port from
  Glimmering Sector to Dundranton. The street obeys no obvious pattern of progression, and seems to change
  names every other block. Thus, a traveler may ﬁnd themselves on Morvane Street just about anywhere, and
  then ﬁnd themselves somewhere entirely different after walking even a handful of yards. All who know the city
  will insist there is nothing magical, odd, or arcane about Morvane; it’s obvious that outsiders simple do not pay
  attention to obvious street signs and indicators.
  The House of Dornvale 
  Traveler Climacteric: Dornvale is the author of many ﬁne books on the world, for he has indeed seen it all, as
  anyone who asks him will soon discover. His house is a small manse of glistening black wood, set in a well-
  tended garden behind a low wall. Visitors are welcome, but those who seek to do him harm should be aware of
  the fact he is a true Arch-Mage, and commands three sandestins of reasonable power. After centuries of
  wayfaring, he has become something of a homebody, and rarely leaves his manse, preferring, instead, to use a
  form of dream-extraction to excise his memories of foreign lands and cause them to seep onto the pages of his
  manuscripts. Of late, though, he has been troubled. His works documenting the world of the late 21st Aeon are
  complete beyond all reproach, but, surely, the world was not always as it is?7
  The idea of a history of time as well as place has come to him, but his desire for further travel is dulled. If
  someone could be ﬂung into the ancient past, left to explore, then retrieved, their memories could likewise be
  extracted, and a book written, all without ever having to leave the comforts of home. “Hm? Visitors? Let them
  in, let them in! I think I can use them. Mellincanthus! Prepare to open a chroncyclic vortex.”
  Borndrevin’s Fine Sluggery 
  The mocking-slug is known mostly as a Kaiinish fashion statement, but trade brings with it concepts, and thus,
  81
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  � Forrell’s Port �
  5. Instructions are unavailable, but a discerning and wise individual will easily learn their function.
  6. Cunningly disguised to resemble a mere pebble.
  7. A question of some import, and one that purchasers of any of Dornvale’s works would do well to ponder. While Dornvale is
  diligent, the world is still large. He has seen it all, but he has not seen it all recently. Some scholars privately concede that in some
  cases his information may be a thousand years out of date.
  
  Borndrevin has opened a sluggery here in Forrell’s Port. Virginal slugs are for sale at reasonable rates, though
  providing matter for the ‘archetype’ is up to the purchaser. For those who have not yet seen the Bestiary, the
  mocking-slug is a foot-long invertebrate of foul mien and fouler scent, with the singular useful trait of being
  able to take on the facial features of a chosen individual. Once set, these features cannot be changed, and
  inducing a mocking slug to resemble a rival is considered an insult at once both clever and base. The Sluggery
  supplements its business with small costumes that can be used to dress the slug in the same fashion as the
  person it has been compelled to resemble. (A small bit of hair, ﬁngernails, or other organic detritus from the
  target is needed to perform the process.)
  The Glistening Palette 
  “Fine Dining In Forrell’s Port” has for ages been considered a canonical example of the non-existent book,8 but
  Arch-Cuisinologist Jolan of Ascolais seeks to change this. Several years past, he was struck by a vision, and felt
  compelled to leave his home and family and travel the arduous road to Forrell’s Port, where he established the
  Glistening Palette in a momentarily prestigious portion of the city. (Those who claim his motivation was due to
  gambling debts are speaking out of the back of their throats, as the saying goes.) The Glistening Palette is
  indeed an establishment suitable for the most demanding gourmand. A mere whiff of the ﬁne scents emanating
  from it, and individuals will be compelled to Resist Gourmandism or be drawn inside for a meal or two. The
  menu is wide and exotic, and every dish on it is prepared to perfection.
  The costs are extreme, and remain undisclosed until after the meal. Jolan
  notes the reason for this: “I exist to provide the ﬁnest of foods and to
  satisfy the most delicate of tastes. Yet some people will deny themselves
  pleasure simply due to over-sensitivity to the number of terces in their
  pouch. Rather than dissuade people with a presentation of costs that may
  cause them to miss the most wondrous dining of their meager lives, I
  demand they order what they desire without any concern for price. That
  must be settled when the food has been consumed.” Those who ﬁnd
  themselves unable to pay may discover that Jolan (and his rather crude
  ‘Waitstaff Sentinels’) consider ‘pain’ to be a sensory experience as
  important as ‘taste’. Yet the world is complex and alternatives often
  appear; certain services, most notably the gathering of rare ingredients,
  might be performed instead of payment. Dornvale is a favored patron of
  the Glistening Palette, and will often be willing to spare a portion of an
  indenture point to assure compliance in these matters.
  Two-Step Terrace 
  Overseeing large portions of the city, this raised area is home to the wealthier citizens. A lot of it has fallen into
  decay but it is considered gauche in the extreme to mention, or even seem to notice, the vast sprawl of ruins
  that separate houses. Attempts to point out the condition of most of the buildings will result in confused looks,
  offended sneers, and contemptuous explanations that “the manse of Tormalith the Fifth is currently undergoing
  extensive reconstruction.”9 According to the inhabitants, every house is currently inhabited by a family of the
  ﬁnest distinction; even a building reduced to a mere outline of the foundation is simply being ‘worked on’, with
  the inhabitants momentarily ‘out of the city, enjoying their vacation’. No amount of Suasion can cause them to
  admit anything is amiss; pushing the issue too far may result in violence or madness.
  The Manse of Zaan (Summer House) 
  Zaan of the Five Directions is one of the premiere Arch-Magi of Sousanene Ulterior, by virtue of the condition
  that he is the solitary Arch-Magician of Sousanene Ulterior. While his primary manse is located near to the
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  � Forrell’s Port �
  8. A topic of much study at certain universities, on the grounds that existence and non-existence are fundamentally identical, and
  thus, by reading books which do not exist, one can gain understanding of those that do, but with much less effort.
  9. Anyone who has had any experience of “getting the builders in” will ﬁnd this sort of explanation has an aura of authenticity
  difﬁcult to shake off.
  
  White Road, he maintains a secondary domicile for summering in the southlands. The manse has a distressing
  tendency to walk about when Zaan is not residing in it, causing occasional property damage and road
  obstructions. This is nothing the natives of the Port are not used to, and take it in good humor. When Zaan is
  present, the manse stays put, but the sky above it is often shaded in lurid and dubious patterns, and strange
  visitors are known to walk the twisted roads of Forrell’s Port, asking directions. There is nothing quite like a
  lost sandestin fearing an indenture point penalty to provoke hasty and accurate instructions as to the shortest
  route from ‘here’ to ‘there’.
  Inestimable Garden Maze 
  This maze was commissioned during the Tenancy of Banderwal the Intriguing, and attempts since then to
  uproot it have failed. Thus, it has been left to expand indeﬁnitely. The area of the maze is a small city square, a
  few dozen ells (at most) per side. Viewing into the square from a nearby elevation reveals a simplistic hedge
  maze, of interest only due to the many brightly colored ﬂowers that grow intertwined among the walls. A local
  guide, if one is present, will warn visitors away, but if they push the issue, will shrug and direct them to the
  gate, which is usually shut, but never locked. Once they have entered the maze, the guide will mourn brieﬂy for
  the terces which should have been his,10 and leave, looking for some new source of income. Those who enter
  the maze, in turn, will quickly ﬁnd that it possesses volume far in excess of what is apparent; indeed, the size of
  it is truly ‘inestimable’, as it curves inwardly upon itself into inﬁnity. It cannot be traversed by any mundane
  means. (Magic of various sorts might permit it) The rich fruits of the maze do provide sustenance, and rain that
  strikes the city manages to strike the whole of the maze at once, no matter the fact that a ﬁnite amount of rain
  should not be able to cover an inﬁnite amount of hedge-maze. Thus, over the centuries, colonies of inhabitants
  have settled various parts of the maze, and view newcomers as ideal sources of anything which the maze itself
  does not produce -- which is, in sum, nearly everything.
  Apparent Apparels 
  As with the Glistening Palette, Apparent Apparels is a bold and daring attempt to bring some form of
  civilization to the wretched backwaters of Forrell’s Port. The ﬁnest items of clothing, from a Scaumish many-
  tiered hat to the ripple-gowns favored by high ladies of Kaiin are available here, at surprisingly, moderate
  prices. Rumors that the garments are woven of light and air and will dissolve quickly once the dweomers begin
  to fade (usually at some distance from the city) are to be considered base and meritless. Still, it is true that “All
  is impermanent; the world itself shall fade soon enough. Why should it be surprising that things of beauty,
  seeing the end of all that is creeping ever closer, choose to remove themselves?”
  The Outer Dumps 
  The lack of a strong civic structure in Forrell’s Port has resulted in an intriguing solution to the problem of
  waste disposal. Those with wealth pay to have it hauled and dumped far from them; those who live near the
  dumpsites pay to have it hauled further still; and so on until it reaches a point at which no one has the terces to
  pay for any further outward motion. The Outer Dumps, then, are located throughout the city – anywhere
  where the cycle of payment and motion ends. The result is that the detritus of civilization can be found around
  almost any random corner, which can be considered a great boon, if one is ever on a quest for decaying dolsan
  skins, remnants of clothing, and any ﬁsh too foul to sell even as a ‘rare native delicacy’ to visiting travelers.
  Given the age of both the city and the dumps, it is such that it is possible almost anything can be found
  somewhere, if one looks hard enough. If a character spends a day searching various Outer Dumps, he may
  regain one possession point lost due to any cause; he suffers a levy of 1 to all Persuade checks (unless his style
  is Intimidation) due to the repulsive odor he exudes.�
  83
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  � Forrell’s Port �
  10. He will, of course, attempt to persuade anyone who insists on seeing the garden to leave their belongings outside, but such efforts
  are often futile.
  
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  84
  Follow That House!”
  The PCs have been commissioned by Zaan of the Five Directions (an Arch Mage of ill-deﬁned nature;
  hence, any such individual of great power and odd tastes (which is most of them) may be substituted, if he
  could logically or illogically maintain a manse similar to Zaan’s in Forrell’s Port) to fetch a case of
  Blanefontine Verdant 801, a particularly rare and melancholic beverage that exists currently only in ancient
  caches, such as those regularly raided by Neviinese divers. For purposes of this escapade, we shall assume
  the bottles have been retrieved, and are safely in the hands of the players, and they need but perform the
  simple task of bringing it to the fore-room of Zaan’s mansion to collect their reward (or, alternatively, and
  more probably, to gain the surcease of some torment Zaan has inﬂicted upon them). Unfortunately, Zaan
  has been called away on pressing matters to the far north, and thus has abandoned his vacation home for
  the moment. This abandonment occurs just as the players arrive at the outer wall. They will see the house
  rear itself from the ground, turn cupolas and turrets left and right as if scenting the sea air, and then amble
  off over a hill. The players, of course, must pursue the house, but the pursuit is inordinately frustrating. For
  the ﬁrst part, this offers a cunning and cruel GM the opportunity to inﬂict any of the regions of the Port
  previously described on the players, as they race down Morvane Street, claw through the Outer Dumps, and
  avoid rogues along Outerdock. Yet, there is a far more subtle problem: the manse seems unduly intent on
  not being caught. Locals familiar with the wanderings will note that this is odd. As a general rule, the
  motions of the house when untenanted are basically random, and while ill chance could account for some
  of the problems the PCs face, it would take the wrath of a thousand gods of ill fortune to account for the
  utter inability of the players to catch the house. Or, failing a thousand gods of ill fortune, one bored
  Sandestin. Fortiliaxius, one of Zaan’s more potent and most devious sandestins, was left to guard the
  manse, and given instructions to the effect of “And let no harmful person or substance pass these gates”.
  The Blanefontine, it seems, has been tainted by the long drowned years it spent beneath the Sea of Slow
  Tides, and has become a lethal, though delicate and reﬁned, with a full body and a hint of impudence,
  poison. While some might argue that Fortiliaxius could simply purify the beverage, or just destroy it, he
  ﬁnds that the most enjoyable way to perform his ordered duty is by
  frustrating the servants of his master, in the vain hope they may someday
  exact revenge upon him. So he continues to move the house about, keeping
  just out of reach of the PCs, and furthermore uses his powers to create
  random obstructions and frustrations, voiding any efforts to reach the
  manse via any means less potent than sandestin-level magic. After the
  frustration level of the PCs has reached the stage where random geometric
  solids are being hurled with increasing velocity and precision at the GM,
  allow them some slight respite. A thief is seen stealing a bottle of the
  Blanefontine, sipping it, and then curling into a small ball before dissolving
  into acrid smoke. A seller of charms and trinkets manages to persuade the
  PCs to purchase a small ring that, he claims gives off a clamor in the
  presence of malign magic; to his shock, it turns out to do just that. (He then
  spends the rest of the scenario attempting to steal it back) And so forth.
  Eventually, the PCs will attempt to enter the mansion without the wine; at
  this point, they will ﬁnd it far easier to accomplish. What remains is to
  explain to Zaan what happened to his wine, and to witness such
  punishment as may be inﬂicted on Fortiliaxius. Alternatively, Zaan might
  (on the suggestion of Dornvale, a regular house-guest) dispatch the PCs to a
  time an aeon or two earlier, when the wine was fresh and untainted,
  perhaps offering them the ‘assistance’ of Fortiliaxius, who will, undoubtedly,
  feel no bitterness or resentment towards those who pointed out the over-
  enthusiasm with which he pursued his duties.
  
  85
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  S
  everal of Jack Vance’s Dying Earth stories describe vat creatures in human form; they are capable of reason,
  whimsy and share the urges of the capricious societies that encompass them. Some of these creatures seem
  little different from the humans of the Dying Earth, who themselves seem rather otherworldly from the point of
  view of a modern reader.1 Others show certain obvious peculiarities compared to the humans of that era,
  including gross deformity, dazed awe, and more than usually insipid artlessness. Such traits would sorely
  disadvantage Player Characters. In Issue 2 of the Excellent Prismatic Spray we showed the practical methods by
  which mages and similar individuals create vat creatures. In this article we lay before you, perhaps somewhat
  audaciously, rules for creating them as characters with capabilities that will allow them to interact in most
  situations without evoking indecorous comments. These considerations ensure that such noteworthy individuals
  are neither summarily attacked as demons, nor routinely hunted as half-men. Neither will they be considered
  for display as curiosities – except perhaps in the rarest of occasions at the GM’s whim. Vat creature characters
  are best when they are rare, but nonetheless make engaging additions to companies of adventurous vagabonds.
  A vat creature’s presence might eventually draw similar misplaced individuals seeking tolerant companionship.
  The following rules are for Cugel-level adventures, although more powerful specimens could, with only minor
  changes, be adapted to suit a Turjan-level campaign.
  The procedure for creation is as follows. Firstly choose your creature’s origin. Secondly choose the principal
  role for which it was created. Third, apply innate abilities as you see ﬁt. Lastly, proceed with the standard
  character creation rules, adjusted as suggested below. �
  Origins
  Numerous reasons can explain the circumstances by which a vat creature ﬁnds itself
  abroad, the simplest being the demise of its creator. Other vat creatures may have been
  freed in an act of goodwill, or they may have escaped to avoid unutterable torments. The
  bonus character creation points indicated are balanced. One of the more important factors
  is the ease with which they allow the Game Moderator to use the background material to
  inconvenience the character later.
  � Home Brewed Heroes �
  Vat Creatures as Player Characters in the Dying Earth RPG
  Ian Thomson
  1. Or not. After all, readers of the Excellent Prismatic Spray indeed share many of the characteristics noted above of Dying Earth vat
  creatures.
  Origin Bonus Points
  You were freed: None
  Your creator was slain by an enemy: +3
  You escaped from a violent or warped master: +4
  You escaped only minutes before an appointment to be rendered into your raw
  components: +5
  You are largely amnesiac of events prior to independence: +6
  The GM and the Player must together devise the general circumstance behind
  any choice other than the ﬁnal one. The GM has free rein in the latter case.
  
  Vocations
  As discussed in the article on vat creatures in XPS2, there are abundant reasons why a magician might
  manufacture a sentient. We shall here expand on those details. Vocation should reﬂect the proposed demeanor
  of each vat creature. Choosing abilities related to an occupational style generates bonus creation points, as
  would a random selection made under the standard rules. Random or alternate selection in these instances
  brings no beneﬁt and should be discouraged. Whilst assigning ability ratings, the Primary Abilities
  recommended below may be raised to a maximum of 15 points, rather than the usual 10 in a Cugel level
  campaign. If this advantage is taken, then the GM correspondingly caps one of the Restricted Abilities. 
  With regard to Health, it is entirely plausible that the magician responsible for creating a vat creature has
  imbued it with superior vitality or robustness. Therefore, the ability cap on Health ratings is 15 rather than 10,
  regardless of other considerations. This is more likely to be a consideration for a Defender, but any other style
  of servitor may have been bred with unusual hardiness, for the creator’s own valid reasons.
  � The Loyal Retainer
  What better course to assure that desirable combination of loyalty and competency in your chief hireling
  than to fashion him from raw materials in the comfort of your own workroom? You may then instruct him
  to your own high standards. 
  Ratings: PERSUASION: Glib or Forthright. REBUFF: Obtuse or Contrary. ATTACK: Cunning or Caution.
  DEFENSE: Dodge or Misdirection. MAGIC: Insightful or Curious. 
  PRIMARY ABILITIES: Appraisal, Craftsmanship, Driving, Stewardship. 
  RESTRICTED ABILITIES: Engineering, Living Rough, Pedantry, Physician. 
  OPTIONAL BONUS ABILITIES: Animal Care, up to two further specializations in Craftsmanship.
  � The Sensual Companion
  Magicians are by no means averse to the pleasures of the ﬂesh, and indeed have more means than most to
  pursue such avenues of distraction. 
  Ratings: PERSUASION: Eloquent or Charming.
  REBUFF: Contrary or Pure-Hearted. ATTACK:
  Speed or Caution. DEFENSE: Misdirection or
  Vexation. MAGIC: Daring or Curious. 
  PRIMARY ABILITIES: Athletics, Etiquette, Quick
  Fingers, Seduction. 
  RESTRICTED ABILITIES: Driving, Engineering,
  Living Rough, Pedantry. 
  OPTIONAL BONUS ABILITIES: Acrobatics,
  Dancing, Erotic Arts. 
  � The Dedicated Defender
  Guardians can be fabricated using aspects of
  the hoon or deodand, so as to ensure their
  strength and bravery. Magicians of ﬁner
  sensibility might be disinclined to have
  obvious horrors as doormen if cultured callers
  are expected, and take pains to design such
  servants with tolerable appearances and more
  moderate appetites. 
  Ratings: PERSUASION: Forthright or
  Intimidating. REBUFF: Wary or Penetrating.
  ATTACK: Strength, Finesse, or Ferocity.
  DEFENSE: Any excepting Vexation. MAGIC:
  � Home Brewed Heroes �
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  86
  
  Forceful or Daring. 
  PRIMARY ABILITIES: Athletics, Concealment, Perception, Wherewithal. 
  RESTRICTED ABILITIES: Appraisal, Craftsmanship, Etiquette, Pedantry. 
  OPTIONAL BONUS ABILITIES: Craftsmanship (Weapons and Armor only), up to two further Weapon Skills. 
  � The Learned Assistant
  A magician might fashion an apprentice or overseer to aid in his duties,
  whether practical or studious. A peculiarity unique to this class of vat
  creature could be a tendency to resemble its creator. This gives the
  added beneﬁt (to the creator) that there exists the possibility that the
  creature may become a victim of mistaken identity during any assault
  on the magician’s person. Further advantage (to the GM) is that this
  makes it so much easier to devise a scenario based on an embarrassing
  case of mistaken identity. Should the player decide that they will adopt
  this characteristic, it seems only fair to award 3 bonus creation points
  towards its fabrication. 
  Ratings: PERSUASION: Eloquent or Forthright. REBUFF: Wary or
  Lawyerly. ATTACK: Finesse or Caution. DEFENSE: Parry or Misdirection.
  MAGIC: Studious, Insightful, or Curious. 
  PRIMARY ABILITIES: Appraisal, Engineering, Etiquette, Pedantry. 
  RESTRICTED ABILITIES: Athletics, Gambling, Living Rough, Tracking. 
  OPTIONAL BONUS ABILITIES: Up to two further specializations in
  Pedantry, and may have a magical ability rating of up to 9. 
  �
  Innate Abilities and Design Flaws
  Use of creation points is not necessary to gain an innate ability at the base value (8 for a Cugel-level campaign
  and 12 at Turjan-level). Yet the character must take on a ﬂaw. (A possible ﬂaw is indicated in brackets after
  each ability noted below.) The GM may allow creation points to be used to increase an innate ability up to the
  normal ability cap. It is also at the GM’s discretion how many abilities (and ﬂaws) a vat creature character is
  permitted. Innate abilities, and their accompanying ﬂaws are really what make vat creature characters so
  different from common humans. The following process is proposed with ﬂexibility in mind, and the Player may
  present a case for alternative special abilities. Due to the potentially enormous diversity of creations, we provide
  only recommendations. It is up to the GM to consider what will be likely to enhance play and what may
  disadvantage it. As an example of how this will work in practice, one possible type of innate ability, mentioned
  below only in passing, is the enchantment of a permanent magical effect. This may be an unconscious
  protection or as the capacity to evoke certain small magics at will, or at predetermined intervals (perhaps two
  or three times per day). Appropriate corresponding physical ﬂaws could be unusual skin pigmentation or eyes
  that glow in the dark. One suitable mental ﬂaw might be a general inability to comprehend the devious wiles of
  normal humans, illustrated by a general levy of 1 when attempting to resist Suasion of any kind. General
  psychological instability, such as a phobia towards a type of person or circumstance, is another style of ﬂaw,
  imposing a levy of 1 on all ability attempts when exposed to the phobic stimulus. 
  As a rule a vat creature character should only have one innate ability and one corresponding ﬂaw, unless the
  GM has their own reasons for allowing more. Whilst vat-created humans with bodily ﬂaws are not prominent
  in Vance’s work, Turjan and Mazirian both produced physically or mentally imperfect specimens. Even the vat
  of the masterful Pandelume yielded a beautiful woman who saw all reality as evil and ugly. Thus, it seems that
  perfection is likely guaranteed only to the most diligent and sophisticated Arch-Magicians. The process of
  creation by lesser individuals may result in any number of minor peculiarities, as well as those presented here.
  From the GM’s point of view, ﬂaws also provide in-built limits to a vat creature’s superiority. Whilst faultlessly
  � Home Brewed Heroes �
  87
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  
  enhanced vat creatures may certainly exist, these are not likely to be found wandering in the company of
  itinerant vagabonds. (Though they might appear among the more heroic retainers in Rhialto-level campaigns,
  where perhaps they will embody a minimum of three or four innate abilities.) The naming of these attributes as
  ‘ﬂaws’ assumes the perspective of the common person. Quite possibly some ‘ﬂaws’ are design speciﬁcations.2
  A GM may devise their own ﬂaws, but all obvious peculiarities should be such that charitable folk may assume
  they are the effect of a minor enchantment or curse. Of course, any of the more unfortunate physical features
  may cause the less enlightened to reach automatically for their disemboweling knives.
  �
  � Retainer
  ACUTE HEARING
  Innate ability: Can discern words spoken at a great distance or very softly. Useful when responding to
  orders issued clandestinely or from a distant wing of the Manse. 
  Flaw: Is easily distracted by loud noises. Receives a levy of 1 when attempting anything in a particularly
  noisy environment.
  EMPATHETIC
  Innate ability: Can discern the general emotions of any human. Useful in making sure that the needs of
  guests and hosts are met, and discerning if any guest intends harm. This operates as a magical perception. 
  Flaw: When dealing with persons of a Contrary nature, the retainer becomes immensely irritated and faces
  a levy of 1.
  MAGICAL UTILITY
  Innate ability: Can cast half a dozen household cantraps at will, such as ‘Polish Metal’, ‘Repair Wood’,
  ‘Propel Broom’, ‘Open/Close Portal’, ‘Open/Close Lock’. 
  Flaw: Faces a levy of 1 when attempting to cast regular spells that it has learned in the customary fashion.
  STURDY
  Innate ability: Can carry great burdens with little effort, or exert impressive steady force. This ability is not
  transferable to the combat situation, but is advantageous when moving furniture, bulky equipment, and the
  like. 
  Flaw: Faces a levy of 1 when trying to persuade others who know of this ability that it should not be the
  one chosen to undertake a task requiring strength.�
  � Companion
  CONTORTIONIST
  Innate ability: Multi-ﬂexing joints are useful in a variety of athletic
  practices and in wriggling through small gaps or evading other
  conﬁnement. Gains a boon of 1 to every Athletics attempt.
  Flaw: Physically weak, suffering a levy of 1 on all tasks requiring
  strength, and on Defense rolls against attacks of Strength.
  HYPNOTIC GAZE
  Innate ability: This is ideal for distracting its creator’s rivals/victims, or
  for an unexpected style of Persuasion.
  Flaw: Eyes glow when using this ability, prompting those who observe,
  or resist, its application to suspect that dark magics are at work.
  NUTRITIONALLY EFFICIENT
  Innate ability: Needs to eat only once every few days.
  � Home Brewed Heroes �
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  88
  2. Reclassifying ﬂaws as features has a long and ignoble history.
  
  Flaw: Is at a levy of 1 when ingesting poisons
  or other disadvantageous substances via the
  digestive system.
  SLEEPLESS
  Innate ability: Requires no sleep, and gains a
  boon of 1 against any magical or narcotic
  inﬂuence that promotes sleep. 
  Flaw: Is at a levy of 1 when defending against
  Suasions of all styles, except Intimidation,
  during the nocturnal hours.
  �
  � Guardian
  CLAWED
  Innate ability: Can extend and retract claws at
  will, giving a boon of 1 to all unarmed
  combat, and to Persuasion in the Intimidation
  style. 
  Flaw: Once this attribute is evidenced, the
  character runs the risk of being identiﬁed as
  being from half-man stock. A plethora of
  disadvantages stem from such a revelation.
  Additionally, the character may have slightly
  pointed ears, necessitating the adoption of
  elegantly coiffured shoulder length hair, or a
  hat with capacious ﬂaps.
  NIGHT VISION
  Innate ability: Can see in the dark, providing a minimal light source is present, albeit only with greyscale
  vision.
  Flaw: The pupils are unusually slanted—vertically like a cat’s—possibly causing social embarrassment, or
  colors cannot be distinguished, even in daylight.
  TELESCOPIC VISION
  Innate ability: With concentration can see over extended distances, or pick up visual details normally
  indiscernible. 
  Flaw: Pupils of the eyes are an unusual color, such as metallic or violet. This occasions discomﬁture
  amongst the unsophisticated.
  TOUGH
  Innate ability: A ﬁbrous physiology endures double the number of standard injuries. 
  Flaw: Has a thin prehensile tail, best kept concealed to avoid recognition of half-man heritage. Even if
  somehow removed—a painful process—it regenerates with unusual swiftness.
  �
  � Assistant
  COMPREHEND SPOKEN WORDS
  Innate ability: Can discern the meaning of any spoken language, a fortuitous talent for eavesdropping on
  foreign visitors. 
  Flaw: The brain of this creature is decidedly inefﬁcient at processing visual languages, creating a levy of 1
  on any attempts to read.
  � Home Brewed Heroes �
  89
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  
  COMPREHEND WRITTEN WORDS
  Innate ability: Can read any non-magical language, being effectively an animate and sentient translation
  machine. 
  Flaw: Finds processing verbal complexities to be profoundly arduous, attracting a levy of 1 when
  attempting to resist Suasions of a Glib or Obfuscatory nature, or has eyes without pupils.
  PROTECTIVE ENCHANTMENT
  Innate ability: Tattooed internally with Laccodel’s Protective Rune – for all practical purposes the source of
  its protection is unknown, save to its creator. 
  Flaw: Is completely incapable of casting any magic more efﬁcacious than cantraps.
  RESISTANT TO FIRE
  Innate ability: Perhaps the previous assistant was destroyed in an unfortunate workroom conﬂagration? 
  Flaw: Is vulnerable to low temperatures, attracting a levy of 1 on all actions undertaken when its person, or
  the immediate environment, is as cold as a winter’s night or more so, or skin has a silvery tint
  �
  Standard Development
  When creating a vat creature character, Persuasion, Rebuff, Attack, Defense, Health, and Magic attributes are
  devised as described in the standard rules, with the variations noted above. Any abilities that clash with the
  character’s role within their creator’s household (such as a Companion with superior ﬁghting ability) have been
  acquired since independence. Possessions are adequately detailed in the standard rules, and only the Resistance
  abilities remain to be deduced. Whilst a case can be made for various Resistance styles matching the character’s
  original purpose, the reality is that one character might gravitate towards a particular tendency, whilst another
  from an identical background could well be drawn in a different direction. Therefore, the choice of
  Resistance(s) is left to the individual player, who by now knows their vat creature character far better than we
  do. The player and GM should work this out between them. In any other game than the Dying Earth RPG, it
  might be necessary to encourage those playing vat creatures to have their exotic characters behave in a suitably
  quixotic fashion. The citizens of the Dying Earth are sufﬁciently decadent, parsimonious, and obscure in their
  motivations that even the manufactured motivations and deportment produced in both vat and laboratory may
  pass without remark.
  �
  � Home Brewed Heroes �
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  90
  ERBERG & PARRAIFEL of Kaiin 
  Sellers of manuscripts, treatises and sundry documents, 
  are proud to present a new philosophical treatise
  Similchulk’s The Quest for Simplicity
  Available for small sum, the imprimatur for all the works of Mortiquan.
  Absolute discretion guarenteed, genuine reason for sale.
  
  91
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  A
  fter the PCs are rescued by Tostveld it is assumed that they will work for him. Tostveld will give them
  letters of introduction to his customers. He will require them to return to him after each job, with an
  endorsement from the client in question, at which point he will pay them. He will not offer any advance against
  their wages, reasoning that, if they cannot support themselves, they are not the people he wants to hire. 
  This section contains two scenarios, in similar and partially linked formats. First is the name of the customer for
  whom the PCs are acquiring whatever it is they seek, followed by a detailed adventure. GMs may use the stories
  in any order.
  �
  THE MUTROON
  Customer: Geodine Radkode 
  Geodine Radkode is in his own estimation a great artist.1
  He is the head chef to Citizen Makmyre in Taun Sfere. He is corpulent and sweaty. He wears the usual Sferite
  garb of grey outer coat with a dazzling yellow silk lining. He works with his team of geriatric under-cooks, in
  the highest part of one of the taller mansions, on top of the hill in Taun Sfere. He claims that only those with at
  least ﬁfty years worth of experience would be able to understand the true nature of his art.
  He does not demand potions and paregorics from Tostveld, but rather rare ingredients for his kitchens. He
  wishes to prepare a Quadrip Soufﬂé to celebrate Makmyre's 15th year in ofﬁce. It is up to the PCs to obtain
  the Quadrip.
  The Mutroon
  Traditionally this fabulous beast has four legs, a segmented tail and a long, segmented neck that culminates in a
  large, ugly, tooth-ﬁlled head. It can change its shape and usually masquerades as a person, either as Patch, a
  young, blond pageboy with a button nose and bright blue eyes, or as Gualpahsimp, the sallow, dark-haired
  groom. The Mutroon has been seen in the woods near Kaiin. The quadrip of a Mutroon is nothing more than
  its eyelash, but must be removed in the correct manner (at night, with the left hand, using the silver tongs that
  the chef will give them). The Mutroon will expire during removal of its quadrip, but it is otherwise effectively
  indestructible. This bizarre state of affairs is the result of the activities of a mage, Tyberdbaust the Nitid. Early
  in the 21st Aeon he was asked to create a creature that was worth hunting. Eventually he created the Mutroon,
  which has no other purpose than to be the quarry. It will not cause any problems between hunts, rarely turns
  on its pursuers, and always provides good sport. If, perchance, it is killed then another appears, created by a
  thaumaturgic mechanism Tyberdbaust concealed somewhere in the area. 
  The taking of the quadrip is an act redolent of symbolism, most of it now lost. The inclusion of the quadrip in
  a dish is equally symbolic.2  
  �
  � The Laughing Magician Part II �
  Steve Dempsey
  In which we continue the adventure begun in ‘The Laughing Magician Part I’, 
  The Excellent Prismatic Spray Volume 3.
  1. An opinion shared by some and derided by others. Such is the thorny path the great artist must tread.
  2. Especially when one considers it adds solely to the esteem of the dish while contributing nothing to its taste, texture or nutritional
  content.
  
  Royal and Ancient Mutroon Hunting Society
  Prince Kandive the Golden is the patron of this Society, the Kaiinite club that has assumed regulatory powers
  for this activity. All hunters must acquire the proper regalia and keep the society’s observances. These strictures
  are a source of revenue, as each hunter must own the necessary accoutrements and maintain a personally
  dedicated, hand-copied book of ofﬁces and hours. 
  Naturally, these prerequisites are only available from the society’s hereditary suppliers, the couturier
  Jasqualmine and the scrivener Quilderaske.
  The members defend their monopoly on Mutroon hunting jealously, although actual hunts are rare. Between
  excursions, the hunters keep to their clubhouse, a low, over-fussy lodge with three cupolas, covered with
  wisteria and scorpion-vines and set in its own grounds on the edge of the Scar. Their kitchen provides potluck,
  fortiﬁed with the dregs of the previous night’s wine, and their cellar offers a conservative collection of sturdy,
  hearty vintages. Pages attend them, feigning rapt attention when members tell their tales, ﬁlling their plates and
  freshening their glasses. They will also arrange the delivery of food from local restaurateurs and bakers. 
  As noted above, two of the servants, a helpful groom called Gualpahsimp and a lively boy called Patch, are the
  Mutroon itself, in disguise. Both are well liked by the members, but while Gualpahsimp will not assist anyone
  until they are members of the society, Patch will help them join. Although the Mutroon is simply keeping all its
  enemies where it can see them, it will seem to the party that Patch is possessed of a puckish sense of fun.
  The Hunt
  The Annual Mutroon Hunt is the only occasion when the club does any hunting, and is far less frequent than
  the adjective “annual” would suggest. It is largely a
  ceremonial affair, which Prince Kandive observes from
  his pleasure barge on the Scaum. Prince Kandive must
  consent to sanction such an event. Methods of persuasion
  that have worked in the past include giving him some
  form of amusing yet overwhelmingly decadent gift or
  ridding him of one of his more tiresome courtiers. If the
  PCs manage to achieve this he will declare a Hunt in two
  weeks and appoint them as its stewards. These high and
  honorable liturgies require that they organize and pay for
  the event. This includes ensuring that all members are
  suitably attired. Naturally, the Stewards are free to defray
  expenses in any way they see ﬁt, provided the dignity and
  grandeur of the occasion survives unscathed.
  Gualpahsimp and Patch will prove immensely helpful, in
  organizing the Hunt.
  The Hunt follows a time honored plan (see ‘Rules of the
  Hunt’, below). On the eve of the Hunt, the Stewards hold
  a splendid, opulent, extravagantly catered, masked ball.
  All members who wish to hunt must attend, accompanied
  by a suitable partner.3 
  At midnight, the rules of the Hunt are read out, and lots
  are cast to select one of the members’ guests. This person
  is declared “mutroony”, and is dressed in a bright yellow
  domino. The Mutroonie4 will serve as a substitute if the
  � The Laughing Magician Part II �
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  92
  3. The suitability is something of a social mineﬁeld. Being accompanied by a scandalous mistress or a dowdy wife can bring a
  member into disrepute, while giving ones arm to a creditable courtesan will raise ones standing.
  4. The terminology is complex. The person declared “mutroony” is “The Mutroonie”. We make no attempt to explain the
  grammatical rules behind this, indeed the editorial ofﬁce believes there are none and the usage is purely arbitrary.
  While attendees are masked, servants are not. It
  is possible that the wives of Hunt members resent
  this, but then again not – their partners tend to
  leave the wives to their own devices. So to speak.
  
  Mutroon should not be caught by the following midnight.5 
  After the ball, the members change into riding clothes and assemble for a stirrup cup, served by the Mutroonie.
  They set off, on their riding beasts, accompanied by leashed erbs, in pursuit of their quarry. There is no set
  pattern and the hunt will trail over Kaiin or the local countryside, upsetting peasants and making a nuisance of
  itself. The Mutroon's spoor will be found and followed, the erbs keen sense of smell aiding in this. When ﬁnally
  all appears lost, the Mutroon will be cornered in some dell or up a back alley-way. Here it will make a last
  stand and, as usual, escape. Unless, of course, the PCs intervene with some better plan than that forced upon
  the members of the hunt through adherence to the Rules.
  The Mutroon is, of course, well familiar with the hunters’ plans, whether traditional or novel, having listened
  to their formulation. The beast participates in the hunt out of a sense of duty. It is horribly strong and difﬁcult
  to kill. Its successful escape dooms an innocent6 to a day tied to a pole.
  The Club
  By Royal Decree, only members of RAMS are eligible to hunt the Mutroon. 
  Memberships can be inherited, but is otherwise by invitation and for life. Should the adventurers wish to join,
  the most obvious course is to prevail upon two current members to propose and second the application at a
  fortnightly management meeting. The members vote on the nominations, and all must agree for the candidate
  to succeed. In all usual circumstances (that is, unless Kandive interferes), the Society believes its roster to be
  full, hence vacancies only arise on the death of a current member.
  For the imaginative, the annals of the Society record that, on occasion, strangers have impersonated members,
  living or dead. Patch, will, of course be able to provide membership lists and addresses, both past and present. 
  Patch will also inform those who ask that the following schemes have worked in the past. 
  � Serving the RAMS for many years until nominated and accepted.
  � Prevailing upon a current member to change his will, before his sudden demise.
  � Bribing or blackmailing a member for his place.
  � Changing the waiting list so that one’s name is at the top and precipitate the removal of a member.
  � Change the membership list.
  The ﬁnal route is to secure membership through Prince Kandive’s ﬁat.7 
  Current Members
  The Society is not the most prestigious club in Kaiin,8 but it is of the highest rank, as the Prince is its patron. Its
  members sit at the low end of his table at banquets. Every noble house is represented in the Society’s rolls. 
  PATRON: PRINCE KANDIVE, a decadent wizard
  The ruler of Kaiin is a degenerate hedonist9 who rules through dint of superior magic and the apathy of his
  subjects. He judges their moods well and knows just when to hold spirit raising municipal events (such as a
  Mutroon Hunt or an eccentric race). His control of Kaiin is unassailable. Perhaps another Arch-Mage could
  wrest it from him, but none have tried. Commentators suggest that he has had time enough to establish
  dependable safeguards against interference.10 See DERPG p157 for more details on Kandive. 
  � The Laughing Magician Part II �
  93
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  5. This alone serves to indicate that perhaps dowdy wives outnumber creditable courtesans on the guest list.
  6. Given the nature of those to whom the lot of Mutroonie normally falls, innocent is perhaps a strange term to use.
  7. Given Kandive’s nature this is perhaps the most dangerous choice.
  8. That honor belongs to the Plumpers, whose job it is to make sure that the cushions on the Pleasure Barge are sufﬁciently ﬂuffed
  up.
  9. Or should he be reading this, a farsighted and tolerant ruler whose wisdom and strong right arm have guided our city successfully
  for many years.
  10. Cynics merely point out that Arch-mages are as apathetic as the rest of the population when it comes to the exercise of authority
  in all things but getting rapid service when ordering drinks in a four ale bar.
  
  Kandive chooses to have someone else defray
  entertainment expenses wherever possible. He also
  prefers any event to be at least as good as the last
  festival held in his city, and regards falling standards
  poorly.
  �
  CHAIRMAN: LAMANVIN SULOBACH, an ill-mannered
  duffer
  “Bwah, watsgoingon. Nonsense, I forbid it absolutely,
  bwah [snore]”
  A large fellow of high standing, who is rude and ill-
  mannered to all but his social superiors, and even then
  only begrudgingly. Lamanvin can often be found
  reclining in his favorite chair sleeping off the effects of
  a Live Eel pie and a 40 year-old Cuirnif Smoked
  Brandy. It is unwise to disturb him as this only draws a
  cloud of invective and partly digested eel. His jowls
  have grown so that it is virtually impossible to
  understand a word he says, which has been the ruin of
  many a servant. Patch, of course, understands him
  perfectly.
  Ratings: Persuade (Forthright) 8, Rebuff (Contrary)
  11, Attack (Ferocity) 8, Defense (Parry) 6, Health 2,
  Etiquette 6,11 Wealth 10.
  Resistances: Rakishness 4.� 
  SECRETARY: KOYFLAM SAR, an absentee
  This sprightly young fellow inherited this position at the untimely demise of the rest of his family in a cruel and
  unusual bookbinding accident. He was at the time of adventuring in parts unknown. When questioned as to his
  whereabouts, all an unhelpful sandestin would venture was that he ‘hadn’t been eaten yet’. Until this uncertain
  situation is explicated, the post remains unresolved.� 
  TREASURER: TURSPIDE TWANPO, a proﬂigate spender
  “What, only forty seven courses! Adequate for a rustic picnic perhaps but not a Club Banquet.”
  Turspide is the life and soul of the club. He organizes the biggest banquets, the most deliciously decadent
  masked balls and commissions the outré livery for the Hunt.
  He has never managed to keep the club’s spending under control, seeking to outdo every last affair with the
  next. As yet the Prince has put up with his foibles and constant begging for funds as the diversions have always
  entertained the mob. 
  Ratings: Persuade (Glib) 11, Rebuff (Obtuse) 10, Attack (Cunning) 6, Defense (Misdirection) 9, Health 3,
  Etiquette 6, Scuttlebutt 5, Seduction 2, Wealth 3. 
  Resistances: None.
  � The Laughing Magician Part II �
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  94
  Members of the Club enjoy a variety of less formal
  meetings throughout the year.
  11. When insulted by Lamanvin one is left with the impression one has been insulted by a master, as each snub is measured to a
  nicety.
  
  YAN ALTA, Keeper of the Kennels
  “Don’t worry, it brushes off.”
  Yan Alta is of the old Kaiin aristocracy. She is severe but fair, stiff, thin, tall and class- conscious. She holds the
  honorary position of Keeper of Dogs for the Royal and Ancient Mutroon Society and while she doesn’t care
  much for RAMS, she dotes on her beloved pets. 
  Ratings: Persuade (Pure-hearted) 10, Rebuff (Penetrating) 10, Attack (Ferocity) 8, Defense (Vexation) 9,
  Health 7, Athletics 2, Driving 5, Etiquette 8, Living Rough 3, Pedantry (Animal breeding) 4, Perception 5,
  Riding 11, Stewardship 6, Tracking 4, Wealth 15, Wherewithal 6. 
  Resistances: Indolence. 6.
  �
  FUSCRUFEL MOR, a plebeian tailor
  “Perhaps you will get to inspect my craftsmanship in situ.”
  This fellow belongs to a noble line now fallen on hard times. His job is sewing codpieces for the deodands in
  Prince Kandive’s pit. He fashions leather codpieces in varied harlequin colors corresponding to the various
  noble houses, used to identify the deodands for betting purposes during games in the Prince’s palace. Fuscrufel
  never attends RAMS meets, nor does he care for any of the other members. He is well aware of the value of his
  heritage and is keeping it to pass on to any offspring that he might engender. Unfortunately, on account of his
  occupation he has a stoop, scarred and pitted arms and face and only two ﬁngers on his left hand. He will view
  any amorous approach with ungracious suspicion.
  Ratings: Persuade (Forthright) 5, Rebuff (Wary) 8, Attack (Cautious) 4, Defense (Parry) 5, Health 3.
  Athletics 2. Craftsmanship 12, Etiquette 3, Pedantry (Deodand musculature) 12, Stewardship 2. 
  Resistances: Rakishness. 5.
  �
  LORYS PEL, Orthodoxy Administrator
  “That color is suitable only for elderly virgins or the children of night soil collectors risen above their station.”
  Lorys Pel works for the Prince and is charged with ensuring the proper observance of rights, customs and
  protocol as laid down in the Book of Motholam. The Prince mainly keeps him around for comedy value, as
  ﬂaunting customs causes Lorys to ﬂy into a rage, which he must contain whilst in presence of his sovereign. He
  generally vents his spleen on his long suffering and mousy wife Engeulade.
  Ratings: Persuade (Obfuscatory) 8, Rebuff (Lawyerly) 12, Attack (Cautious) 7, Defense (Intuition) 8,
  Health 4, Athletics 1, Etiquette 12, Pedantry (The Rules of the RAMS) 10, Stewardship 2. 
  Resistances: None.
  �
  BRASS TOKER, an absent-minded biologist
  “Royal and Ancient Mutroon Hunting Society. Me, a member? I suppose I might be.”
  Brass Toker is hardly ever present in Kaiin, but can be found wandering the nearby wilds in search of specimens
  for his collection in the Natural History Museum. His club badge of ofﬁce is somewhere in the museum.
  Ratings: Persuade (Pure-hearted) 8, Rebuff (Penetrating) 11, Attack (Cautious) 11, Defense
  (Surefootedness) 12, Health 6, Athletics 5, Etiquette 1, Living Rough 6, Pedantry 8, Perception 5, Riding
  4, Stewardship 1, Tracking 6, Wealth 8, Wherewithal 2. 
  Resistances: All at 2.
  � The Laughing Magician Part II �
  95
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  
  HALASSSO MIRCH, a dull wizard
  “On the other hand it might be true, but personally I always felt that the answer lay in the detail of the
  problem. Taking a long view I would say that…”
  Halassso is soporiﬁcally dull. Almost everyone who talks to him falls asleep. As is well known to Kandive, this
  is an effect of the sloe-gall pomade Halassso uses to dress his hair into its raven’s beak quiff and wings.
  Ratings: Persuade (Obfuscatory) 9, Rebuff (Contrary) 12, Attack (Caution) 9, Defense (Misdirection) 11,
  Health 3, Magic(Studious) 20, Athletics 1, Etiquette 5, Pedantry 16, Perception 5, Stewardship 2, Wealth
  17, Wherewithal 2. 
  Resistances: None.
  He knows all the spells in the Dying Earth Rulebook. �
  JINCEVEE PETISH, an effusive Realtor
  “Obviously you cannot manage with less than ﬁfteen bedrooms.”
  Although it is probably a thankless task in Kaiin, city of a thousand manses, Jincevee has nonetheless taken on
  the mantle of the Muniﬁcent Realtor. When anyone’s manse is no longer inhabitable, Jincevee will ﬁnd them a
  suitable replacement. He will arrange transport of goods, chattels and wives, ensure that the new manse is of a
  grandeur beﬁtting the occupant and that any neighbors are of suitable station. He is well known for his
  dedication to his work and what free time he has is spent at the Club. Jincevee has one servant who helps in his
  endeavors, the rather less enthusiastic, over-worked and sarcastic Vrazcas.
  Ratings: Persuade (Eloquent) 12, Rebuff (Obtuse) 11, Attack (Cunning) 11, Defense (Misdirection) 9,
  Health 2, Athletics 2, Driving 2, Etiquette 2, Pedantry (the houses of Kaiin) 15, Perception 5, Riding 2,
  Seduction 3, Stewardship 7, Wealth 18, Wherewithal 4. 
  Resistances: None (The simple statement “He is a Realtor” should be
  explanation enough.)
  �
  BUNDERASLER, a conniving antiquarian. (See ‘Horse Brasses’, below).
  �
  SKIVLER BALCH, a ruthless taxidermist
  “I have an armature of just your size.”
  Skivler is the best taxidermist in all Ascolais. He has a rival in Cuirnif,
  Narliman, who is in the service Duke Orbal. Skivler justly regards
  Narliman as an unworthy rufﬁan, who sullies the craft of taxidermy.
  Narliman is no artist, merely an artisan, who thus has a larger collection
  of specimens than Skivler: both are attempting to be the ﬁrst to complete
  a collection of the Bestiary of Brass Toker (3rd ed. revised). Skivler is
  somewhat hampered in that he requires perfect specimens whereas
  Narliman will make do with any moth-eaten or well hung scrap from a
  deodand’s larder.
  Ratings: Persuade (Forthright) 8, Rebuff (Pure-Hearted) 10, Attack
  (Ferocity) 8, Defense (Dodge) 10, Health 2, Athletics 2, Appraisal 3,
  Craftsmanship (Taxidermy) 9, Etiquette 3, Pedantry 4 (Taxidermy) 8,
  Perception 3, Physician 1, Quick Fingers 6, Seduction 1, Stewardship 3,
  Wealth 4, Wherewithal 2. 
  � The Laughing Magician Part II �
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  96
  ‘Fang and Feather’ Beautifully
  composed and executed, this
  classic dining table centrepiece is
  testament to Balch’s skills.
  
  Resistances: None.
  ZA HANTLIN, a rich debutante
  “Oh you poor dear.”
  Za is determined to marry Prince Kandive and rule Ascolais by his side. She thinks she can make a ‘decent’ man
  out of him. Kandive, who as yet has not tired of her efforts to improve him, is quite touched by her naiveté and
  perseverance. Occasionally he has her accidentally pushed among his captive deodands, but so far she has
  always managed to talk her way out, in the process reforming the poor creatures and ruining them for the pit.
  She keeps inferiors at an appropriate distance but can usually be persuaded to bring to any deserving cause the
  full rigor of her unbridled enthusiasm.
  Ratings: Persuade (Charming) 16, Rebuff (Pure-Hearted) 10, Attack (Strength) 3, Defense (Dodge) 8,
  Health 4, Athletics 2, Etiquette 4, Seduction 8, Wealth 25. 
  Resistances: Gourmandism 4, Indolence 4. �
  STAFF
  YOIMMOUS, an obsequious mounter 
  “Aye sir, naught but a touch of colic and bad temper.”
  It is Yoimmous’s duty to ensure that the mounts used in the hunt are correctly stabled and prepared to hunt at
  any moment. As such he will be found hanging around at the back of the club, grooming the beasts. Should
  anyone approach him, he will adopt a most sickening and fawning manner, claiming that “although [he] tries
  to the best of his abilities, the beasts really do require several daily brushings with Old Samanel’s Exclusive, a
  tonic that brings a shine to their coats.” He will, of course, require payment to apply this remarkable paregoric.
  Ratings: Persuade (Obfuscatory) 11, Rebuff (Obtuse) 9, Attack (Strength) 9, Defense (Parry) 9, Health 4,
  Pedantry (Riding) 6, Physician (Vet) 2, Scuttlebutt 6, Riding 6, Stewardship 3.
  Resistances: None.
  �
  WEAM, a recalcitrant erb handler
  “More than my jobs worth Sir, happen you’d better take it up with Mistress Yan Alta.”
  Weam is the keeper of the erb kennels. He is also responsible for their training. Never having seen the
  Mutroon, he has not been able to train them to hunt one and given his generally lazy and surly manner, he is ill
  disposed to using his initiative. He has taken to hiring out the erbs, suitably muzzled, to pull carts for the local
  ﬁshermen who use them to haul their catch up from the quays to the markets at ﬁrst light. These rugged men
  will be ill-disposed to any who tries to deprive them of the means to their livelihood, and Weam will certainly
  not become involved.
  Ratings: Persuade (Obfuscatory) 8, Rebuff (Wary) 9, Attack (Cunning) 10, Defense (Dodge) 9, Health 3,
  Athletics 2, Driving (Erbs) 1, Pedantry (Erb handling) 1, Scuttlebutt 3. 
  Resistances: None.
  � The Laughing Magician Part II �
  97
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  � KILLCROP & NOTAPHILY �
  Bankers, experts in champerty, forfaiting, and defalcation, are pleased to announce the opening of our
  third branch in Kaiin. Prospective customers are welcome to visit our new premises, situated in the Threek
  opposite the laundry pool for the convenience of the many businesses in the area. 
  
  GUALPAHSIMP, the helpful groom
  “Yes Sir, at once.”
  Herein lies the key to this mysterious pastime. This fellow was, is and always will be the groom. He is, in fact,
  the marvelous Mutroon. Where safer to hide than in full view, what better position to obtain than chief
  amongst one’s own pursuers? Sallow, quiet, tall, thin and dark-haired, he is a most excellent and helpful fellow,
  polite, well turned out and knowledgeable. He is always ready to help a member of the club remember their
  excuse for staying out all night (an AGM perhaps or by order of the Prince himself). He is, in fact, the very
  model of a man’s man. During the hunt, Gualpahsimp will turn up when required then absent himself with the
  minimum of fuss. He will revert to his true form to lead the Hunt on for a while then will once more assume
  human form when some excitement has been achieved.�
  PATCH, the lively page 
  “Your drinks, my lords, as ordered.”
  Shortly before sunset Gualpahsimp packs up his chamois, reamers and brushes and goes home. Soon
  afterwards, Patch reports for work. He is a small, attractive, lively boy who attends to the members’ needs with
  brisk efﬁciency. He ripostes cheekily, but amusingly, when spoken to. He is popular with the members and
  considered an asset to the Society. As is proper, Patch does not reveal any personal information to Members.
  �
  JASQUALMINE, couturier
  “Look on the bright side Madame. You may not be able to breathe, but this corset will stop an axe never mind
  the Mutroon.”
  Jasqualmine makes all the liveries, clothes and accouterments required for the Hunt, including the ensembles of
  the Eve of Hunt Ball and the mutroonie’s domino. To his intense indignation, he must follow Turspide
  Twanpo’s designs,12 which are inelegant, over-fussy and too tight for comfort.
  Like his ancestors, Jasqualmine has discovered that the members and stewards do not regard settling their
  accounts as pressing matters. This attitude should force genteel poverty upon him, but Kandive is happy to
  purchase the members markers, for reasons that are easy to surmise.
  Ratings: Persuade (Eloquent) 9, Rebuff (Lawyerly) 9, Attack (Speed) 10, Defense (Misdirection) 11,
  Health 3, Athletics 2, Appraisal 3, Craftsmanship (Needlework) 8, Etiquette 3, Quick Fingers 3,
  Scuttlebutt 6, Wealth 4.
  Resistances: None.
  � The Laughing Magician Part II �
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  98
  12. Twanpo shuns the Taun Tassel cut which is less restrictive, preferring instead to rely upon corsage of considerable sturdiness to ﬁt
  the wearer to the garment.
  ���������������������������
  Jasqualmine
  Couterier to the Royal and Ancient Mutroon Hunting Society
  is proud to advertise in support of the annual display of Society hunting fashions.
  Shun cisvestism and disport yourself in habilatory elegance
  A small deposit will secure any garment until full payment is arranged.
  ��������������������������� 
  
  QUILDERASKE, scrivener.
  “I assure you the documentation is all in order.”
  Quilderaske is the Society’s chief copyist. He also
  provides all the stationary and supplies the Society
  needs. Some of their requirements, such as tanned
  deodand hides for binding, mermelant belly
  parchment, dried grue bile for inks; are difﬁcult to
  obtain. Quilderaske’s wife and four sons assist him 
  Ratings: Persuade (Charming) 10, Rebuff (Wary) 9,
  Attack (Finesse) 11, Defense (Intuition) 8, Health 4,
  Athletics 1, Appraisal 3, Craftsmanship
  (Penmanship) 8, Pedantry (The Affairs of the Club)
  6, Seduction 3, Stewardship 3, Wealth 2. 
  Resistances: None.
  � Rules of the Mutroon Hunt �
  � All members who wish to hunt must present their credentials to the President at midnight at the Eve of
  Hunt Ball.
  � Payment for the right to Hunt must be made to the Treasurer, to whit one terce.
  � One person shall be drawn from amongst the unclean and declared “mutroony” to serve as a substitute
  should the beast not be captured.
  � Members shall be suitably attired, in spurs, over-cape and breeches. They must mount their beasts and not
  dismount until the Hunt is eventuated.
  � For tracking the Mutroon dogs are used unleashed; they criss-cross the ground searching for the scent.
  � The use of erbs in tracking the Mutroon is permitted but they must not be allowed to harry the beast, and
  hence are kept on a leash. Once the scent is found they follow more closely and more quickly than dogs.
  At this point the dogs are called in and leashed.
  � The Mutroon must be captured using a ceremonial foul, an eight-ell length of Ermish Ash surmounted
  with a ligature plaited from the hair of eight good women of Kaiin.13
  � That person who captures the creature is said to have “Mutrooned” and declared throughout the town as
  “Mutrooner.”
  � The Mutroon is paraded to the Transpontine Gate where it is hoisted on an armature for display to the
  populace for no less than twelve days. 
  � If the Mutroon is not captured by midnight of the day of the Hunt, the mutroonie is brought forth and
  serves as a substitute in the proceedings aforementioned. In these circumstances, the member whom the
  mutroonie accompanied to the ball is declared Lesser Mutrooner.
  � All members, saving the Patron and the Mutrooner (regardless of degree), must donate two cases of ﬁne
  wines, one white and one red, worthy of laying down, to the Patron, to the Society cellar, and to the
  � The Laughing Magician Part II �
  99
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  QUILDERASKE
  Scrivener to the Royal and Ancient Mutroon
  Hunting Society is honoured to be asked to
  support the society at this time.
  We provide a comprehensive chirographic
  service, including the composition of both
  personal correspondence and ofﬁcial documents
  such as bills of manumission or property deeds.
  Do not waste your superiors’ time with triﬂes;
  our skilled penmen can create the appropriate
  documents for you and add a signature
  distinguishable from the original only by its
  greater elegance.
  Available to reputable customers are limited quantities of tanned deodand hides.
  13. In spite of ribald jests to the contrary, there are many good women in Kaiin and the maintaining of the ceremonial foul is among
  the easiest of the erb handlers tasks.
  
  Mutrooner. The vintages given to each recipient need not be of the same quality.
  � The Stewards must report any breach of the rules to the President.
  � The penalty for any transgression of the rules is a forfeit to be chosen by the President.
  Running the Hunt
  Players should commence by rolling against their characters’ Perception ability. The character with the best
  score spots the Mutroon and leads the hunt. That character will choose from their Pedantry, Tracking or
  Perception pools, and every roll takes the hunt on a further hour. On a Dismal Failure the character utterly
  loses the trail and other characters may try again to pick up the trail. On an Illustrious Success, the Mutroon
  has been cornered. The character who is leading the hunt must attempt to trap the Mutroon in the traditional
  foul. 
  THE MUTROON
  Ratings: Persuade (Whatever trumps his opponent) 10, Rebuff (Whatever trumps his opponent) 10. (These
  Abilities may only be used in Human form.)
  Resistances: Attack (Strength) 2~, Defense (Dodge) 2~, Health 4, Athletics 5, Stealth 2.
  Other characters may “gang up” on the Mutroon to aid in its capture, but the one who defeats the creature is
  the Mutrooner and takes the glory. GM-controlled characters present may also take part in the vulgar brawl.
  The GM should roll a d6 for each one; on an odd number they unwittingly assist the capture and may be
  included in the “ganging up”, but on an even number they equally unwittingly assist the Mutroon to escape,
  effectively canceling out one of the characters ganging up. If the party are successful in the combat the Mutroon
  is taken, but if the Mutroon wins it breaks away from the hunters and has to be chased again. 
  HORSE BRASSES
  Customer: Bunderasler
  Bunderasler wants to be the secretary of the Royal and Ancient Mutroon Society. He thinks that high position
  in such a prestigious society will bring him the consequence and inﬂuence that beﬁts a man of his intellectual
  prowess. He owns a shop in Kaiin that he likes to consider the ideal place for the wealthy customer to browse.
  Alas, it is more like one of those lesser types of market stall, but with a roof. It does indeed provide curios and
  artistic trinkets for the more discerning patron, amongst a mass of junk and broken furniture that, over the
  years, his agents have recovered for him. This band of people travel the length of Almery in their rickety carts
  in search of ﬁnds. Bunderasler also panders to Prince Kandive in the hope of advancement. The Prince amuses
  himself by asking him for more and more extravagant items, with the promise that on delivery he will once
  again consider the position of secretary.
  Bunderasler is too self-assured and self-important to realize the deception. He is wise enough to spread his bets
  and has also been plying other members of the club with gifts and has had slightly more success. Gualpahsimp
  (see ‘The Mutroon’, above) has been running a book on whether Bunderasler will gain ofﬁce or suffer some
  other, more cruel fate in the deodand pits. Bunderasler has been charged with ﬁnding a rare horse brass that the
  Prince feels will be quite delightful on the breast of his favorite concubine.14
  � The Laughing Magician Part II �
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  100
  14. We refuse to be drawn into prurient discussions as to what this opinion tells us of the Prince and his less widely shared
  predilections.
  
  Unfortunately his last agents have disappeared and he is unaware of their
  fate (death in Count Orbal’s punishment tubes, although some of them
  escaped). He knows that Tostveld has people who are experienced at this
  sort of thing and so has paid him to get the job done.
  �
  Horse Brasses
  Horse Brasses are a common feature of houses near the Valley of the
  Graven Tombs. They are to be found suspended above ﬁreplaces for good
  luck, worn as ornaments or sewn into garments. During the 18th Aeon, it
  was common to bury the harness of favorite steeds with princes,
  sometimes even the mount as well. It should be noted that whilst the
  phrase ‘Horse Brasses’ remains as a widely accepted generic term, and
  many ‘horse’ brasses once adorned the harness of farlocks, mermelants
  and several other species of riding beast. 
  The protagonists’ job is to travel to this place and, using an identiﬁcation
  book,15 ﬁnd the particular object that Bunderasler requires: ‘Melenila’s
  Appearance of Joy’. This is a rather ﬁne piece showing the allegorical
  representation of Joy appearing as a dray, making its deliveries. It is
  remarkably similar to the rather less important and more common ‘Fishwife Screaming at Noisy Deliverers’. A
  seer has conﬁrmed to Bunderasler that the brass is still in a tomb in the valley. She also managed to ascertain
  that it lies within a tomb of a person with the same name as one of the PCs, which should cause them some
  anxiety. The exact location of this tomb is not known, although it lies about halfway up the valley.
  There is some danger from ghosts in the Valley; Tostveld warns the PCs not to talk to them. For protection at
  night, he gives them each a ghost-bowl. 
  He also hands them a small pot of denatured deodand grease to ease the donning of the bowls. Although
  unscented, the grease is still rather runny and black. It is likely to stain clothing, and, with prolonged
  application, skin. Over-reliance on the lubricant could lead to its user being mistaken for a deodand.16
  The exact location of ‘Melenila’s Appearance of Joy’ depends on the whim of the GM. In the depths of the
  tomb is a fairly simple option, but other brasses can be found under the mold or in the water, with the crabs.
  More insidious is having the bandits discover it just before the PCs turn up and have them ﬂing it into their net.
  Alternatively, they may have already sold it in town and when the PCs retire down-hearted and defeated to a
  nearby inn, they might ﬁnd it above the ﬁreplace, adorning the belt of the barman or perhaps even as
  decoration in the bottom of a beer mug.17
  �
  Events
  Bandits!
  The initial danger in the valley is Carbonder and his gang. He could be persuaded to help the PCs, if they show
  mercy or offer to help in his quest to become a deodand. If the PCs do not deal with him in a permanent
  fashion, he will return to harry them once he recovers from his injuries.
  Tombs
  The PCs can look in any number of tombs before they ﬁnd the correct one, a process limited only by their
  patience and the inventiveness of the GM. 
  � The Laughing Magician Part II�
  101
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  � BUNDERASLER �
  “Look around, browse without
  restraint and wonder at the
  unequaled selection of marvels I
  have arranged for your
  delectation.”
  Ratings: Persuade (Glib) 8,
  Rebuff (Obtuse) 10, Attack
  (Caution) 10, Defense (Sure-
  Footedness) 11, Health 3,
  Appraisal 3, Athletics 3,
  Etiquette 4, Pedantry 5,
  Stewardship 6, Wealth 10. 
  Resistances: None
  15. Vraznark and Cilkother Brasses and Other Metallic Harness Decorations in Almery.
  16. Although to be fair, there are not many deodand with spindly shanks and a decided paunch.
  17. Thus proving that seeking for wisdom in the bottom of one’s beer mug may well be a valuable avenue of research.
  
  The very tomb required…
  As the antiquarian’s seer revealed, the tomb that contains ‘Melenila’s Appearance of Joy’ bears the name of one
  of the adventurers. A statue of an impaled ghoul-bear, clutching a battle ﬂag, marks the site. The ﬂag,
  exquisitely carved from ochre jadeite, bears the deceased’s name, inlaid in serpentine.
  Those of Bunderasler’s men who escaped Duke Orbal have returned here and are looting the grave. They have
  discovered a rich seam of horse brasses and are part way through bringing them up. Lacking the catalogue,
  they have decided to retrieve them all. The looters have a small barge concealed on the river, behind a recent
  rock fall, and under a tarpaulin. They have also stretched a net out under the surface of the water. When they
  retrieve a brass, they ﬂing it down into the river, where it lands in the net, concealed from prying eyes.
  Around the tomb are scattered remnants of broken translucent shells that seem to be from some kind of crab.
  They are old and dry, the remains of some bird’s dinner. Should the PCs be patrolling the area overnight, they
  will hear splashing, and cracking sounds. If they investigate, they will discover that nocturnal crab-ﬁshers, blue
  and green birds, with chisel beaks and grasping claws at the end of their wings, stalk the banks, eating
  burrowing river crabs. 
  One of the grave robbers, Vasgo, remains in the tomb, and scares off interlopers by imitating a ghost. In the
  meantime, the other three carry their looted horse brasses to the bank and drop them into the net.
  Although Vasgo told his three companions to be as quiet as possible, they are not very good at following
  instructions. As a result strange noises can be heard emanating from the depths of the vault from time to time.
  These include the groaning of exertion, the metal rasping of brass against brass, the pinging of brasses being
  dropped, and the swilling of beer.
  These sounds will be distorted by the corridors and sound eerie and alarming to the PCs, suggesting the
  presence of not only ghosts but also perhaps grues, leucomorphs or hoons.
  �
  The Tomb
  There are only 5 rooms in the whole tomb and hundreds of yards of gloomy corridors that all resemble one
  another. The corridors are generally 15' high and about 3' wide. The ﬂoor is mostly cobbled but, in places, the
  dust of aeons and various lichens have created some soil in which small pale plants grow. Light is alien here
  and the glow of torches and other sources of illumination is strangely dimmed; perhaps the bleak walls absorb
  it. Occasionally, there is a featureless slate door to break the monotony of the walls. These are not locked but
  require a good hard shove to open.
  The Shrimp
  The tomb has mainly withstood the test of time, but the repeated landslides have caused some cracks. In
  particular one part of the lower tomb has become ﬂooded. Over time, translucent fresh water stinging shrimp
  have evolved here, and across the countless years have reached sentience and built a civilization. The shellﬁsh
  have no buildings but have a very rich literature that explores the impossibilities of life beyond the Great Grey
  Door. Some intrepid Aeronauts have ventured beyond the pool to attempt to explore the great beyond but none
  has returned. Their poems and epic tales about crabs are recorded in scratch marks all around the ﬂoor and the
  walls of the cavern.
  The only other inhabitant of this area is an old sage, Kalluk. He discovered the writings of the shrimp many
  years ago and has been studying them ever since. He has a damp pallet in one
  of the far corners of the room, built up on a mound of shrimp shells. Here
  he keeps his few belongings: a wax tablet, a mortar and pestle and a snorkel
  fashioned from hollow carapace sections, glued together with bone meal,
  and a shelf ﬁlled with identical journals covered in wax cloth to keep out
  the damp. 
  Despite the evidence, he does not believe the shrimp responsible for
  � The Laughing Magician Part II �
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  102
  
  103
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  Area of tomb 
  flooded
  Area of tomb 
  infested with yeast
  
  the writing and lives off them and the clear water in the ﬂooded room.
  The ﬁrst the PCs will see of him is his dim light shining in the chamber,
  for he has some small skill with magic, or hear him splashing about as he
  catches his dinner. 
  His work consists of two actions. Firstly, using his wax tablet and snorkel,
  he sits underwater and transcribes the writing. When he has ﬁlled his
  tablet, he then sits on his bed and copies the text from his tablet into his
  journal, with footnotes and references to previous volumes.
  He is aware of the ghosts in the valley and has trained himself to ignore
  them. As such he will most certainly ignore any interruptions until they
  become overpoweringly intrusive. He will then unleash his magic. As he
  has been resident for many of their generations, the shrimp have come to
  worship him as a god and will take a dim view of any attack on his
  person. They will come to the aid of their divinity and swarm over any
  attacking PC delivering envenomed punctures. Should Kalluk die, they
  will all freeze, stunned and shocked. They will then carry his body, in a
  long procession back to his pallet and mount an unswerving vigil, until
  they all die of starvation.
  It will take much effort to persuade the sage that any visitors are real. He
  knows little of the rest of the tomb, save that he does remember once
  seeing something glinting in the darkness many years ago.
  Yeast of Doom
  When the tomb was ﬁrst raided, thieves carried yeast in with them. This
  has multiplied, evolved and grown so that now a whole section is home to
  one giant organism. This creature has spread itself as far as possible and
  lives on scraps carried in by the wind. As a tomb robber progresses into
  the area it inhabits, the air starts to become foul and the walls and ﬂoor
  grow progressively more slippery and yellowish. All surfaces take on a
  spongy texture. Intrepid delvers who come this far will start to breathe in
  the yeast’s spores. Characters should make a Health roll at this point,
  treating the spores as having a Potency of 0 and an interval of one hour.
  Failure means that those infected will start to expectorate great streams of
  bright yellow mucus. This is not in itself dangerous except that the
  coughing will become more and more frequent as the mold takes hold.
  Should the PC succumb coughing will lead to choking, collapse, and
  death. Another problem with the yellow spores is that they regard vellum
  as a rather decent meal and will spread to the characters copy of Vraznark
  and Cilkother’s Brasses and Other Metallic Harness Decorations in
  Almery. The PCs will be in a race against time to identify the correct brass
  before the book falls apart. (It has a Health 3 for the purposes of resisting
  the yeast. In the case of the book, symptoms of infection are the pages
  beginning to collapse into dust.) The room where the mold originated
  contained many stuffed and mounted riding beasts. These have long since
  turned to mulch and all organic parts of their tack have gone too,
  although the metal still remains. The room, thick with yeast, is damp but
  slightly warmer than the rest of the tomb. Great strands hang from the
  � The Laughing Magician Part II �
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  104
  � KALLUK �
  “Flee ghost, lest I blast you with
  powerful magics.”
  Ratings: Persuade (Forthright) 7,
  Rebuff (Contrary) 12, Attack
  (Cautious) 3, Defense (Dodge) 3,
  Health 2, Magic (Studious) 16,
  Appraisal 3, Pedantry 8
  (Translating languages 16),
  Wherewithal 5.
  Resistances: Indolence 3,
  Rakishness 6.
  Current spells: Excellent
  Prismatic Spray, Rhialto’s Green
  Turmoil, Gilgad’s Instantaneous
  Galvanic Thrust.�
  � THE SHRIMP �
  Should these attack, each victim
  faces an opponent with an
  Attack (Cunning) 12 and
  Defense (Dodge) 11. On a
  Success, the Shrimps inﬂict one
  envenomed puncture. Shrimp
  venom has a potency of Levy 0,
  an interval of three minutes and
  causes trembling and spasms
  until collapse and death ensue.
  On an Illustrious Success the
  venom has a potency of Levy 1.18
  Should the Character score a
  Success, they have not been
  attacked. On an Illustrious
  Success, they have destroyed all
  shrimps crawling over them and
  will not be attacked during the
  next move either.
  18. See page 59, DERPG Rules.
  
  ceiling and drip to the ground, and there even appears to be some slight movement in the creature as waves
  propagate back and forth across its surface. Occasionally a pseudopod rises in the air to track some morsel of
  food. The PCs represent its ﬁrst decent meal in aeons… 
  A Big Pile of Brasses
  This room contains an enormous pile of horse brasses that the looters have deposited here, prior to removing
  them from the tomb. The three other bandits have been coming and going frequently as they haul the booty to
  the surface. They have made a small ﬁre to provide some light and heat and even have had a meal down here;
  the remains of some river bird stew sits in a greasy pot. If found down here they will respond the only way they
  know how: with ﬁsts. They will not mention Vasgo and will play up the ghost angle in the hope that they will
  be rescued.
  The Occupant of the Tomb
  Although Vasgo is playing the part of the ghost, this tomb does have one of its own. This is the last resting
  place of Hycouruniks, favorite eunuch of Emperor Faudil, a celebrated calligynicist and apiarist. In a ﬁt of
  jealousy, the eunuch drowned his master in honey. Princess Tandala, the Emperor’s ﬁfty-third daughter, had him
  ﬂayed, then buried, still alive, in salt. When he died, she hung his preserved body in a large glass jar, from the
  chandelier of her father’s redundant seraglio. This mortal part was retrieved during the reign of Vitziﬂam II
  Bilen, grandson and successor to the Princess, (later Queen, Queen Dowager and ﬁnally God Empress) Tandala,
  and interred, with some honor, in an old tomb inside a vacant crypt. 
  Unfortunately, it was erroneously believed that the appropriate form of service was to bury the testicles
  separate from the body, and in another part of the complex. Hence, although the eunuch and his manhood are
  together in spirit, they are physically forever apart. Hycouruniks’ shade wanders the passageways in search of
  his missing glands, barely a whisper on the wind. The eunuch’s ghost will be drawn to the PCs, especially so if
  some of them are male, and will hover at the limit of their lanterns, draining life from them and growing both
  in stature and in solidity as he does so.
  The Lesser Tomb
  This is the most ornate chamber in the entire complex. It has a large bronze door that is secured with a
  baroque lock and is sealed with lead. The door was inscribed with gilt letters that have long since been pried
  away. A close inspection reveals the ﬂowing and decorative script but its meaning has been lost. None have
  dared break the seals for fear of some terrible curse. The lock is old and feeble, the lead soft and the hinges
  smooth, so breaking in would not be difﬁcult. Inside is a wonderful sight. The chamber is in the shape of an
  onion ﬂower and features this bloom as its general motif. The walls are covered in jade inscribed with a similar
  script as that on the door. On a small pedestal in the centre of the room lies a wizened object, the Hycouruniks’
  severed parts. If by some chance the ghost is reunited with his goal he will depart the mortal realm.
  � The Laughing Magician Part II �
  105
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  
  GMCs
  CARBONDER and his band
  “I would normally devour my prisoners, but I am afraid your personal fetor dissuades me.”
  This undesirable is the leader of a group of bandits that preys on travelers in the valley. He is very tall and
  broad, his hair is long and matted, and he wears no clothing except a leather harness. He carries no weapons
  but is dangerous nonetheless.
  Carbonder is known for his delight in savagery and violence; not content with just robbing people, he insists on
  biting them all over. If they taste good he eats them, otherwise he lets them go, naked and unarmed. His one
  true desire is to become a deodand and he imagines that by eating people he will achieve his goal. He has found
  it quite hard to eat people as they seldom taste good, and demonstrate a low standard of personal hygiene. 
  To avoid being troubled by the ghosts, he and his men have stuffed wet mud in their ears. This has dried into
  hard little plugs that render the footpads at least partially deaf. They communicate through hand-signals and
  banging sticks together. This has saved the life of many a traveler, as the sound carries quite well and gives
  plenty of warning of trouble up ahead. The bandits refer to each other by a speciﬁc sequence of rasps and taps;
  their leader, Carbonder, is known to them as “Click-Clack”. The bandits live in one of the drier tombs, near the
  eastern end of the valley, on the south side of the river.19 They use small coracles to cross the river but do not
  attack boats as these are usually well guarded and Carbonder cannot swim. As Carbonder has lived in the area
  for a long time, and knows the valley very well, he could be useful to the PCs in helping to locate the tomb
  they seek. Of course, they will have to unplug his ears
  and reacquaint him with the spoken word.
  Ratings: Persuade (Glib) 10, Rebuff (Wary) 11,
  Attack (Ferocity) 11, Defense (Vexation) 9, Health
  4, Athletics 5, Concealment 4, Pedantry (Valley of
  Graven Tombs ) 4, Perception 3, Stealth 2,
  Tracking 3.
  Resistances: None.
  �
  AVERAGE BANDIT
  “Our way of life leaves little time for deep
  philosophy. Hence we have no moral qualms about
  merely killing you and taking your possessions.”
  The bandits always marginally outnumber the party.
  They all have the following characteristics:
  Ratings:Persuade (Intimidating) 6, Rebuff (Obtuse)
  6, one style each of Attack and Defense at 6,
  Health 3, Athletics 3. 
  Resistances: None
  � The Laughing Magician Part II �
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  106
  Kalluk at work in the tomb.
  19. Their choice of a south side tomb with no vines means that they do not face the automatic enmity of the vine tedders.
  
  Thieving Vagrants
  Four of Bunderasler’s agents escaped from a cell while awaiting death in Duke Orbal’s tubes. Their leader is
  Vasgo, a young but bright lad who greased himself with a residue produced from the prison gruel and squeezed
  through the bars. He is quick on his feet but still not strong enough to pose a threat in a ﬁght. He does have
  some bravado, but a determined adversary can scare him into surrender or ﬂight. Vasgo chose not to free
  anyone who would dominate him mentally, so saved the three least intelligent, but most brawny, of his fellow
  captives. They are Lumpkin, Yell and Lugys, all people of very low quality. If things are going well, they will
  follow Vasgo’s commands, otherwise they will squabble, bicker and lash out at anyone nearby. If no adversary
  presents itself, they will ﬁght amongst themselves.
  VASGO
  “In my experience ‘tall’ and ‘stupid’ are synonyms.”
  Ratings: Persuade (Charming) 11, Rebuff (Penetrating) 9, Attack (Cautious) 3, Defense (Dodge) 11,
  Health 3, Athletics 6, Concealment 5, Pedantry 2, Stealth 6.
  Resistances: None.
  LUMPKIN, YELL and LUGYS
  “Matters are over complicated. Silence, lest I simplify things with my club!”
  Ratings:Persuade (Intimidating) 4, Rebuff (Wary) 6, Attack (Strength) 11, Defense (Parry) 9, Health 5,
  Athletics 1.
  Resistances: None.
  �
  HYCOURUNIKS
  He was accorded great honor with a state burial in the Valley of Graven Tombs. He is now a ghost of little
  stature who seeks reunion with his missing anatomy. In life, he was a big man who once wielded his sword in
  defense of his lord. In death, he carries a ghostly reminder of this weapon that will become more solid as he
  gains power.
  Despite his excruciating death and long interment, Hycourniks’ ghost remains lucid. He will
  approach individual looters and ask them to help him, lying about his knowledge of the
  tombs, and making any plausible assurances they seek. In game terms, this is a contest
  between the ghost’s Persuasion (Eloquent) (which begins at 6, but which will rise as high as
  18 as the eunuch beats the characters) and the PC’s chosen Rebuff. The spirit himself
  counters attempts to persuade him with Rebuff (Wary), initially held at 4, but potentially
  rising to 16.
  Should the ghost’s Persuasion rise to 12 and his Rebuff to 8, he becomes mostly solid,
  enabling him to attack with the sword, which he carries across his chest. His Attack is 20,
  he has no Defense, and his style is Ferocious. This is resisted with Rebuff, not Defense, with
  Obtuse and Pure-hearted styles imposing a levy. �
  Items
  � “Old Borkenla’s Monosy”
  This is a pocket version of the full Aenoic Erudition of Hippopaedia. It covers matters pertaining to horses
  such as the ﬁneness of the hair and its uses, the different dialects of whinnying that one meets across the
  ancient continent of Num and, in a codicil, adornment of horses and brasses. The full version was housed
  � The Laughing Magician Part II�
  107
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  
  in the monumental House of Horse on the island of Hadin before it
  was overcome by the waves some aeons previously. 
  The Monosy is bound in a ﬁne baleena hide with a great bronze clasp.
  It weighs near enough 12lbs and measures over an ell high by half an
  ell wide and is ﬁve thumb-widths thick. The pages are made of
  durable baleena vellum, but the inks have faded over the centuries and
  only the black is now visible. As much of the text was in yellow for
  emphasis this makes for difﬁcult reading at some crucial points.
  � Ghost-bowls
  This is a tight-ﬁtting device with a transparent visor and side pieces
  that come down to cover the ears. They both prevent ghosts entering
  into the wearer’s ears at night and make it extremely difﬁcult for the
  wearer to hear a ghost’s whispered words [Footnote. Or anything else
  for that matter.. Each bowl has a different tint, to allow easy
  identiﬁcation when worn, although this does make it difﬁcult for the
  wearer to be able to see the same color as his or her bowl. They are
  usually issued with some from of grease to allow the bearer to don
  them more easily.
  �
  Creatures
  Ghosts
  The Valley of Graven Tombs is haunted by many pitiful creatures which
  lie in wait to bore the living with tales of why they do not deserve to be
  dead. Most sages consider that these spirits hold no power, as long as they
  are ignored. They gain more substance as they engage with a listener.
  Many ghosts are completely drained and only appear as whispers on the
  wind. It is very dangerous to sleep in the valley among the tombs as a
  ghost can use this opportunity to creep into a mortal’s ear and engage
  them in their dreams.
  In game terms, as they gain points in a contest, they can raise another
  ability or score by a like amount. This is the only way they can refresh
  their points pools. The more powerful ghosts can use their points gained
  in this way to work magic if they choose, typically attempting to control a
  mortal or to curse them.
  Many wonderful treasures are contained in the tombs, if the tales are to
  be believed. Most have long since been looted.
  GHOSTS
  Ratings: Persuade (Eloquent) 1.
  On a Success, the ghost takes one point from one pool of the victim and
  uses it to create the same pool of its own. On an Illustrious Success, the
  Ghost takes two points but may put them into any Pool it wishes.
  � The Laughing Magician Part II �
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  108
  Explore our ancient
  world through the eyes
  of an experienced and
  creative cartographer
  Lycia works in her cloisters,
  using her fertile imagination
  and the ﬁnest inks to produce
  maps of extreme accuracy
  and beauty. In order to secure
  her freedom, she is required
  to sell a limited number of
  these masterworks, signed in
  her own blood. When  a
  sufﬁcient number have been
  sold, she will be released, her
  gambling debts assuaged. The
  alternative is unpleasant…*
  Find these maps and other
  delights at the 
  Pelgrane Press website
  http://www.dyingearth.com
  *Succinctly, buy the maps or the
  cartographer gets it.
  
  My Dear Relfan
  Again I have a remarkable tale to tell you. No, before you protest, let me assure you that it is not a lost city nor
  a technological marvel from a past age. I realize that I have written to you about many of those over the years,
  but you must remember that our world is very old and as a result has an abundance of such items. This time at
  least I can present to you not only several pieces of ﬁne exterior art, but also wondrous gateways to ages past.
  Now at least, will you consent to reading the remainder of this letter? Then I shall continue. 
  We were returning from the coast by way of Troon, when we found ourselves crossing the Plain of Standing
  Stones. Naturally we were keeping an eye out for asms, knowing what terrible brigands the creatures are, when
  the boy informed me that he had seen something moving over by a stone circle standing a little way from the
  road. Leaving the animals (complaining bitterly about everything, as usual) and most of the porters on the
  road, the boy and two of my most trusted companions and I approached the shadowy circle. I should note that
  it was still daylight, though you should know me well enough to realize that I would not venture into such a
  place after nightfall unless suitably prepared. Only amateurs and desperate men are wont to suffer such folly. I
  must admit being somewhat surprised by what we found when we reached the circle. Firstly, although colored
  to appear as rough-hewn rock when viewed from outside the installation, the uprights were not composed of
  stone at all but stained and very ancient wood. The artiﬁce by which the effect had been achieved was
  magniﬁcent and even upon close inspection an amateur might still have been confused. Only the texture of the
  wood, marred occasionally by lichens, which had been fooled into forming intricate growth patterns on the lee-
  sides, conﬁrmed my suspicions. There are few ways to disguise the polished smoothness of very old and
  exposed lignum, you know. 
  Within the circle was another wonder to behold. Here, the true nature of the wood was not only unmasked but
  accentuated as the ‘inside’ face of the wooden uprights was decorated with the most remarkable carvings The
  nature of these carvings was at ﬁrst confusing, although having mastered the trick of it, I now feel slightly
  109
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  � The Sculpted Chair �
  Lynne Hardy
  “A stringent rule stipulates that neither imaginary nor purported marvels qualify for the competition.”
  
  ashamed that I did not spot it sooner. Only seven were carved in any detail and those details appeared to be
  disjointed and fragmentary although executed with unquestioned skill. The eighth appeared to be no more than
  a log from which a huge gouge had been rent. Still I studied it more closely and noted that there was a
  distinctive sheen to the bottom of this gouge, which reminded me in no small measure of your kitchen stools,
  having suffered many years of polishing at the seat of untold pantaloons. Realizing this, I immediately
  positioned myself in the chair and my eyes were truly opened. Before me were not confused carvings, but a
  table laid with food of every description. Beyond the table was a window, looking out over a valley and beyond
  to gentle hills. As I looked, my head grew heavy and I set to dozing. At least, that is what I presumed at ﬁrst,
  but I was aroused from my slumber not by one of my staff, but by the aroma of an excellent meal and the
  gentle warmth of the sun on my face. 
  Opening my eyes cautiously, they merely conﬁrmed what my nose and face had already told me. The circle was
  gone, and I now viewed the table and its appetizing viands as clearly as I see this parchment upon which I
  write. For all my stout nature and extensive experience, I was more than a little thrown by the proceedings. I
  stood up from the chair in which I found myself and threw about the Adjunct to the Periapt to ensure that my
  eyes were not deceived by mere illusion. They were not. I indeed stood in a warm and serene kitchen, with a
  groaning table and radiant golden daylight before me. Yes, orange daylight, my friend, not the corpulent red of
  our days. A young woman was watching me with interest, though displaying no sign of alarm. She was a
  hearty creature, with a kind and gentle face that indicated a level of intelligence suitable to conversation.
  Indeed, she approached me then with a charming smile and expressed her surprise (but delight) that she should
  have a visitor at this hour, when there had been none of late. She introduced herself as Anine, mistress of the
  house, and bade me sit with her and enjoy a rest before the other members of her family arrived for their
  evening meal. I determined from her gracious nature that I could be candid and related to her my surprise at
  ﬁnding myself in such a place, having been on a windswept moor not ﬁve minutes earlier. She laughed, though
  not mockingly, and agreed that it must be very strange for sure, but that all would become clear. Her husband
  joined us then, a ﬁne specimen, with a sturdy build more associated with menials and a complexion that
  suggested outdoor work. His hands were indeed callused though there was a ﬁneness to them that refuted mere
  casual labor as the cause. We began the meal after three bouncing (I can ﬁnd no other adequate term for them)1
  children joined us. As we ate, I listened to the general chit-chat that pervades all such family gatherings. I
  restrained from amateurish behavior and held my council although it was obvious that such unexpected visitors
  were not so. Eventually, Xyphyl cleared his throat and ﬁxed his steady gaze upon me. “And from whence do
  you hail, visitor?” I answered him truthfully, for there was no need for deception or guile in this warm place.
  He smiled crookedly and nodded as I described the circle and the vista I had seen. He then leaned back in his
  chair and, absentmindedly running his hands through his hair, began to explain my peculiar predicament. 
  Apparently his father had been a talented individual who had learned the trade of mage from his father and the
  craft of the cabinetmaker from his mother. From the works he later showed me, I believe that several of the
  better houses in Kaiin possess his mother’s work and I have deﬁnitely seen it on sale at Sepmi’s. Both sides of
  the family were involved in commerce, primarily logging in the Da Forest and the export of the ﬁne woods to
  places in the Land of the Falling Wall. Xyphyl’s maternal grandfather was the head of the hauliers then, but
  was not in the prime of his youth any longer and preferred to spend as many of his evenings as possible with
  his feet up before his ﬁre. With this in mind, his son and daughter-in-law determined to build along his trade
  route a means by which he could do just that. Over the course of several years, Sessilie, the daughter, carved
  remarkable likenesses of the family home on the inside of seven timber pillars. The family would transport
  them to the relevant spot and Aerht would enchant them, along with the eighth pillar, such that when anyone
  rested in the chair, they would feel drowsy (to lessen the disorientation one felt on shifting, but also of use
  should an undesirable happen upon the place; sleepy creatures are far easier to deal with) and awake in the
  most comfortable chair in the family kitchen. Positioning oneself in the chair the next morning would reverse
  the effect. So I spent a very pleasant night with Xyphyl, Anine, and their charming children and was more than
  a little sorry to depart the next morning by way of the route I had previously come. Needless to say, the boy
  � The Sculpted Chair �
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  110
  1. The Editor expresses regret at the lack of thesauruses in the wilder reaches of Almery and south of the Falling Wall. Alas but such
  is our fallen state.
  
  had roused the porters to a frenzy upon my disappearance and all were most relieved when I reappeared
  unharmed (except for those ungracious mermelants, who merely commented that this must mean they would
  have to get back to work again then). Xyphyl kindly gave me a list of places that these carefully disguised
  transport devices had been hidden and once I have returned to Azenomei with our merchandise, I shall mount
  an expedition to determine if any more still exist. It would be most pleasant indeed to visit that warm and
  sunny place again, although I would hate to make a nuisance of myself! Sakonitz the Adamantine
  �
  Background
  During the 17th Aeon, the families Maxan and Holler dominated the market in the recovery and haulage of
  ﬁne woods from the Forest of Da. Not only were they impeccable businessmen, but the close association of the
  two families allowed them to provide a complete service few of their rivals could hope to match. That and the
  added bonus of several artisans and mages in the family (ensuring that every last detail could be taken care of
  in house) and their empire was secure. Xyphyl’s maternal grandfather, Loqua Holler, was a comfort-loving sort,
  and whilst not afraid of hard work, took no delight in sleeping out of doors with the wagons. Thanks to the
  longevity of both families (darkly hinted to be unnatural by their worst rivals), he had reached what many
  would consider to be a grand age and was still running the haulage routes to Kaspara Vitatus and beyond. His
  bones ached from the damp and his constant complaining set his son and daughter-in-law upon the path to
  their greatest accomplishment: the creation of a set of way-posts that would allow the old man to return to the
  comfort of his bed almost every night whilst en route. It took two years to carve, transport, and enchant the
  sculptures with a variation upon both the Spell of Relocalisation and the Charm of Somnolent Slumber.
  Although there were occasions upon which a bemused and dopey half-man appeared in the kitchen chair, they
  were soon dealt with by a more than prepared matriarch or small child carefully trained in the use of frying
  pan and meat cleaver. So that Loqua returned to the correct place, different cushions with speciﬁcally
  embroidered patterns of localization linked to each of the way-posts would be used to plump his favorite seat.
  The family business eventually declined after several centuries with the waning afﬂuence of their society.
  Remnants of the family still exist and will usually be involved in haulage or carpentry. Very few have any idea
  of the former inﬂuence of their ancestors and none know of the way-posts, which were always a very closely
  guarded secret and quickly forgotten when times got hard. 
  � The Sculpted Chair �
  111
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  
  Adventure Hooks
  �
  Relfan requires someone to go and see if the list of way-posts is accurate and whether or not any of them
  are functioning (we leave it entirely to the GM’s discretion as to how many there were originally, where
  they were located along the route from Azenomei to Old Romarth and how many still work). 
  �
  The beneﬁts of a portal to the 17th Aeon to a merchant of magical curios and such like must be obvious.
  Rumors have begun to circulate that unusual items are available in Azenomei, and a former employer of the
  PCs wishes to know what is happening. She will hire them to investigate, being able to tell them only that
  the goods appear to originate from the Plain of Standing Stones. What will they ﬁnd and will they tell her?
  �
  The Scholasticarium has come to an arrangement with Xyphyl and his family to run ﬁeld trips allowing a
  few of the student faculty to visit the 17th Aeon through his kitchen. What wonders await the eager
  students and will they be more successful than most of the previous outings? (The exact location of the
  family home we leave to the GM, but might we suggest that it is not too far removed from Azenomei and
  that The Scaum Valley Gazetteer contains many ﬁne potential locations).
  �
  Anine has journeyed forward to request Sakonity’s help in an urgent matter. Someone is trying to destroy
  the family business and she needs unknown outsiders to help her ﬁnd out who is responsible. Are the
  characters up to the job?
  �
  Whilst traveling across the Plain of Standing Stones, the characters ﬁnd a small child dressed most
  unusually and crying. Where is the child from, and what on earth are they going to do with it? (If they
  prove to be utterly hopeless, naturally, either Xyphyl or Anine will come and ﬁnd it. Needless to say, this
  could lead to much embarrassment on the party’s behalf).
  �
  An annoying Lordling from Kaspara Vitatus has gone missing. Rumors abound that he has been behaving
  very strangely (even for him) ever since he had a weird timber sculpture uprooted and placed as the central
  feature of his wilderness garden. His family want him back and are so desperate they will even employ the
  characters to ﬁnd him.
  �
  A descendant of the Maxan-Holler lineage has discovered that people are taking advantage of a portal
  system that, by rights, belongs to them. What sort of trouble are they likely to cause and who will the
  characters be helping – the aggrieved relative or the people with a vested business interest? 
  �
  Miscellaneous 
  XYPHYL, Kindly Carpenter and Artisan 
  “The quality of this wood means that it should give your great-grandchildren something to sell should they
  need to maintain the standard of living they’re used to.”
  A devoted family man, skilled carpenter and youngest son of the third generation of the Maxan family, Xyphyl
  lives quietly with his wife and children in what used to be the Holler family home. Most of his work is
  commissioned by the Maxan-Holler empire and he is quite happy to work to order. He has no desire to run the
  company and continually strives to emulate his late mother’s intricate work. Although he enjoys a good story,
  he has no real desire to see the rest of the world.
  Ratings: Persuasion (Charming) ~, Rebuff (Pure-Hearted) 1.5~, Appraisal 10, Craftsmanship 14,
  Perception 13, Scuttlebutt 11, Magic 4 (but knows no spells). 
  Resistances: Rakishness 4.
  � The Sculpted Chair �
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  112
  
  ANINE, Cook, Herbalist and Competent Wielder of a Frying Pan 
  “Might I suggest you reconsider that course of action? The clang of metal
  on bone does nothing for my nerves.” 
  Anine is not a member of either the Maxan or Holler family, but a
  childhood friend of Xyphyl’s sister, Jiqxi. A competent wife and mother,
  she is an excellent cook and the manager of her husband’s carpentry
  business. Level headed and calm under pressure, she has much to teach
  any budding chefs or ﬁghters who might happen through the way-posts. 
  Ratings: Persuasion (Forthright) ~, Rebuff (Penetrating) 2~, Attack
  (Cunning) ~ (allows her to use any kitchen implement that comes to
  hand as a weapon), Magic 6, Appraisal 11, Scuttlebutt 13,
  Stewardship 14, Wherewithal 12. 
  Resistances: Indolence 3, Rakishness 2. 
  Cantraps: Repel Dirt, Assuage Afﬂictions, Discommoding Dazzle,
  Bring Book to Hand. 
  � The Sculpted Chair �
  113
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  �
  The Charm of 
  Somnolent Slumber
  Type: Straightforward
  Range: Touch
  Duration: 5 minutes
  Style Afﬁnity: Devious
  In its original full-length form,
  this spell was devised to render
  hyperactive royal children
  docile for the evening, but the
  practical uses of this sadly
  abbreviated spell should be
  obvious to even the most
  obtuse of mages. The target is
  lulled into a gentle yet deep
  sleep from which they cannot
  be woken. Fortunately the
  duration of the spell is short
  and is more useful in procuring
  a small advantage rather than
  rendering someone
  incapacitated for any length of
  time. In the form attached to
  the way-posts, the contact
  comes from the seat, wherein a
  small item enchanted with the
  charm has been concealed. In
  the case of the enchanted
  cushions, the charm is
  contained in the embroidered
  sigils.
  �
  
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  114
  � The Luminarion �
  Mark Baker
  “Gookin, why do you lie among the cheeses?”
  The Plant
  The Luminarion is a prickly desert plant—a tuberous, mottled succulent with a purple ﬂower—that possesses
  the characteristic of luminosity. After dark, it emits a purple glow, claimed by some to be not dissimilar to the
  light of the sun. Thus, the plant is highly prized as a source of nighttime illumination. The Luminarion grows
  only in the harshest deserts of eastern Almery, far from civilized lands. Nobody has yet managed to grow them
  from seed in a less harsh climate, although they can be cultivated in a heated conservatory with the right soil
  and a great deal of attention. Each year on the Aryday night of the third week of Inlasto,1 the plant shoots a
  single glowing, violet seed into the air, to be carried on the wind until it ﬁnds a place to settle. Those few
  adventurous souls who have witnessed this spectacle have likened it to a dance of ﬁreﬂies. 
  The Luminarion blooms but once in its lifetime, after four years of life.
  For a few short days in late summer, its petals burst forth in a glorious
  display of porphyric color, closely following the path of the sun each day
  as it crosses the sky. Then, the plant withers and dies. According to
  travellers who have been stranded in the desert and forced to live off the
  ﬂesh of the Luminarion , its ﬂavor is uniquely delicious; although its
  ﬁbrous nature is prone to cause a subsequent case of diarrhoea. This
  leaves an ‘afterglow’ in the excreta (that stains everything it touches with
  violet luminosity) that only fades over a period of days. Allegedly, the
  dwellers of the deep desert can track a man who has eaten Luminarion
  even after dark by the glow of his spoor. The seeds of the Luminarion can
  be rendered to produce a radiant, purple oil. The petals can also be
  distilled to make Glowine, “the only wine that truly leaves you with a
  warm glow inside.” Collecting these treasures of nature from the desolate
  wastes in which they grow is fraught with danger, especially at night when
  they are easiest to ﬁnd, so it should come as no surprise that they
  command high prices in the cities of the Dying Earth. In Kaiin, a meal of
  Sun Flower will cost 100 Terces; a jug of Luminarion oil sells for 200,
  while a bottle of Glowine will sometimes fetch as much as a thousand
  terces and a living plant will fetch two thousand terces. 
  �
  The Order of the Luminarion
  Due to the magical nature of the Luminarion plant, and its somewhat
  mythological cycle, it should come as no surprise that a religious order
  has sprung up around this mystical plant. The Order of the Luminarion,
  as the believers have come to be known, believes that Luminarions are
  draining the light from the sun, and that to prolong the life of the solar
  orb, they must restore that light. It is their conviction that mankind lives
  in a state of dark melancholy, and only by facilitating the restoration of
  light to the sun may they achieve grace and happiness. The most dedicated
  of their number sacriﬁce themselves to a long life of much melancholy,
  devoting themselves to gifting others with the happiness of serving in this
  1. We refer the reader to the Pokuno reckoning used in Kaiin. See The Kaiin Players Guide, p23.
  
  115
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  process of luminal restoration. Priesthood in the Order is open to both
  males and females of any sentient nature, but they must ﬁrst prove their
  worth. The novice initiate is charged with seeking out a new plant in the
  desert. Equipped only with the purple trowel and watering can of a
  novice, his purpose for the next four years is to protect the Luminarion
  where it grows. He must ensure that it is watered and guard it against all
  who would pick it or feed on it until such time as it blossoms. Finally, he
  must ceremonially harvest the plant before it begins to wilt, and take it to
  the nearest temple: only then will the novice be judged worthy of
  ordination. Many fail. Some die in the wilderness as a result of the
  privations of the desert, lack of food or water, killed by the monstrous
  beasts that roam the wastes, or by bandits or those who would steal the
  Luminarion for monetary gain. Some ﬁnd their plants dies before it
  blooms, and then must harvest the remains before they wither, returning
  the remnants to the nearest temple to be used in the lesser ceremonies of
  the year. In such cases the novice will return to the desert to seek out a
  new bloom to protect and cultivate. Only by returning to the temple with
  a plant in ﬂower can they aspire to the priesthood, and be permitted to
  wear the purple burnoose of the Order. 
  Most novices decide that they are not suited to the religious life, abandon
  their charge, and return to civilized lands. The Order tries to keep track of
  those who “fall by the wayside,” and (to show that there is no ill feeling
  towards those who have tried and failed) they are extended an invitation
  to the Harvest coming festival in the Autumn.2 On arrival at the banquet,
  they will be waited on by their former colleagues, now newly ordained as
  priests in the Order. Once the Luminarions have been harvested,
  extracting the light from the rare plants—so that it might be returned to
  the sun from whence it came—requires an elaborate ritual. According to
  the lore of Khaivelo3 the cactus ﬂesh is ﬁrst prepared in a Jacynth sauce.
  Some offshoots of the sect (following the teachings of the sages
  Bambachder of Kauchique and Saipichlo4 respectively) insist that the
  Luminarion should be stewed with a wild ramp and spurge gravy, or
  marinated for a day in pauncewort juice and then grilled instead. This
  culinary preparation traditionally serves to assist the assimilation of the
  Luminarion luminescence within the souls of those who dine on the meal.
  This is followed by the banquet. 
  If in season, as at the Harvest coming celebration each year, the blooms of
  the Luminarion are served as a side dish, sprinkled with a dressing of Luminarion oil and Hilp. The whole is
  washed down with a suitably vintage bottle of Glowine. Guests at this feast are expected to consume to excess,
  and it is considered a mark of bad manners by their cultist hosts if any food remains on the table at the end of
  the evening. According to cult lore, once the radiance has been absorbed, the participants in this banquet must
  then die. Puriﬁed by the holy meal and ﬁlled with porphyric brilliance, their souls will ascend to the sun in a
  state of grace, and there release its light back to its solar source.5 Death must occur before the onset of muscle
  relaxation that would normally ensue after eating of the Luminarion, otherwise the natural sinfulness of the
  � The Luminarion �
  2. This invitation is pressing and often involves the invited falling asleep in some strange drinking den and waking up hooded and
  bound in the back of a cart.
  3. A lesser magus whose teachings are shunned by the truly devout on the grounds that he sacriﬁces theological exactitude for
  culinary excellence.
  4. Both these worthies cling to the older tradition, but it must be said that Bambachder with his wild ramp is closer to the true
  tradition of indigence.
  5. Travelers are often invited to partake of these ceremonial banquets. The order can be most insistent.
  The purple burnoose may be
  any shade from gridelin through
  heliotrope to plum. The precise
  shade may indicate the status of
  the priest, or merely the skill of
  his or her laundress.
  
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  116
  body will deﬁle the light. Such impurity can be observed by any who look
  upon the excreta of one who has delayed overlong a-dying. Over the
  years, priests of the Order have compiled elaborate tables charting height
  and body weight against the time that it takes for the luminous essence to
  be fully absorbed into the soul, and how long it will then take before the
  light becomes corrupted by the body and hence, the time frame in which
  they must make the sacriﬁce. The most prominent members of the cult
  carry ornate chronometers designed in the form of a digestive tract, into
  which they can feed the diner’s height, weight and gender, and then
  estimate the progress of the meal through the body. Traditionalists
  following the teachings of Panbunerro the Enlightened6 believe that there
  is no substitute for listening to the diner’s stomach, and carry “listening
  horns”, often elaborately carved with images of the Luminarion. 
  Cult members are found mainly in the deserts and wastes of eastern
  Almery, where the Luminarion grows. Solitary priests7 may be
  encountered in the great cities of Kaiin or Cuirnif, preying on those rich
  patrons who are willing to pay great sums to dine on the plant, not
  realizing that this involves releasing their souls to the sun. The Priests are
  readily identiﬁable by the purple burnoose that they wear. Travellers
  should be wary about accepting hospitality in any of the cult’s temples.
  Visitors are feasted on Luminarion, prepared in the appropriate fashion.
  The more suspicious traveler may notice that his hosts do not join him in
  the eating of the banquet, though this is typically explained as a period of
  fasting for those who have adopted the purple burnoose of the Order of
  the Luminarion. Then provided with lodging for the night, they are
  unlikely ever to awaken. Rumors tell that the guest quarters at the temple
  in the desert of Maneth are built directly above a deep ravine, with
  trapdoors in the ﬂoor that can be opened once the guests are asleep,
  plunging them several hundred feet onto the jagged rocks below and thus
  relieving them of their melancholy. Any infringement of the Order’s rule is
  dealt with harshly, though there is little documentary evidence listing
  those rules, and some disagreement between different sects of the Order.
  Causing a Luminarion to die so that its light is dispersed across the desert
  and can no longer be restored to the sun is probably the most serious
  offense that a priest can commit. The punishment for this crime is being
  force-fed an excess of raw Luminarion before being staked out to grill in
  the desert sun. The rapid dehydration delays the onset of diarrhoea, allowing the sunlight to concentrate more
  densely in the malefactor’s soul, thus purging him for his crime when he does ascend to the sun. A similar
  penalty is adjudged for a priest who allows a man to dine on Luminarion and then fails to release his soul
  before the onset of corruption. The punishments for errors committed by a novice are far less severe. For a
  trivial offense, such as puncturing his purple watering can, the culprit is force-fed an excess of raw Luminarion
  and then simply and painlessly having his throat slit at the appropriate moment. The time between completing
  his meal and the ritual severing of the jugular gives him opportunity to reﬂect on his misdemeanor, and glory in
  the imminence of his ascension to the sun. It should be noted that travellers who touch a Luminarion are
  considered to have implicitly enrolled within the novices of the Order, and so become subject to the judgement
  of the Order for any crimes they may subsequently commit.
  � The Luminarion �
  � BAZVIUMAN THE BOLD �
  “A little more of the sauce,
  perhaps?”
  An excommunicate Priest of the
  Order is Bazviuman the Bold,
  who was employed as head chef
  at the Sabdes restaurant in
  Cuirnif in the preparation of
  Luminarion meals for the
  wealthiest of patrons. He
  introduced a toxin into his
  dishes, carefully timed to kill the
  diner at precisely the right
  moment. He was forced to ﬂee
  the city on charges of mass
  murder after the birthday party
  of Gluskoeller the Indulgent. He
  has subsequently been
  excommunicated and declared a
  heretic by the cult, on the
  grounds that the poison he used
  corrupted the Luminarion light
  consumed by Gluskoeller and his
  guests, causing a violent
  ﬂuctuation in the solar disk
  when their souls ascended. 
  Ratings: Persuade (Glib) 11,
  Rebuff (Wary) 8, Attack
  (Cunning) 9, Defense (Dodge) 8,
  Health 1, Athletics 4, Pedantry
  (the Luminarion) 10.
  He is perhaps representative of
  the average priest of the order.
  6. Panbunerro shunned mechanical contrivances and over complex calculation. He was a believer in ‘two gurgles and a belch’. His
  followers now estimate that one can risk a third gurgle.
  7. The pejorative term ‘Assassin’ is not used by the order
  
  The Tube
  An unusual sight: spanning the narrow valley is a stone
  tube, supported by towering pillars made of the same
  carefully polished stone as the tube itself, each pillar
  being higher than a seven-story house. The ends of what
  amounts to a twenty-ell diameter airborne tunnel are
  ragged and broken, whether the result of sheer age or a
  cataclysm in the distant past, none can say. Pelgranes
  make their home in both ends of the ancient construct,
  peering down at the travelers with wary eyes. Passing
  beneath the tube, the party happens upon a young
  woman of surpassing beauty seated upon a large boulder
  worn smooth by the water that once coursed through
  this long-dry riverbed. She lowers her gaze from the
  nesting pelgranes, pensively polishes the large gem
  hanging from a gold chain around her neck, and speaks
  to the travelers: “I lie in yon tube, cold and dark these
  many aeons, trapped and alone. Those horrid birds
  would make their nests from my bones! If you have any
  mercy, any care within you, please grant me the eternal
  rest of the grave.”1 The task will be difﬁcult, for the ends
  of the tubes extend well beyond their supporting
  columns and the pelgranes do not take kindly to
  intrusions upon their nest. Perhaps a dexterous climber
  could loop a rope over one of the jagged projections,
  allowing those less acrobatic easier access to the tube.
  Magic would obviously ease matters. What unknown
  peril lies within the lofty tube remains to be seen. 
  � 
  The Cave
  Passing a wet and stormy night in a shallow cave formed by an overhanging ledge of rock, the travelers’ ﬁre
  ﬂickers and dims brieﬂy as a previously unnoticed, yet distinguished-looking, gentleman dressed in unusual
  fashion settles himself by the ﬁre. His apparent translucence indicates to all present that he is not entirely of
  this world. Warming his hands before the ﬁre, he addresses the group: “No matter the ferocity of the ﬂame, ﬁre
  does not warm me as it once did. Yet I can but try! Note, if you will, the shadows that dance across the far
  wall of this grotto! They move oddly, do they not? Observe that far corner, where even the brightest glare dares
  not venture. That darkness conceals something that men have fought over for more aeons than even the sages
  have heard tell of. I came here myself, long ago, in my pride seeking what I had been told could not be found.
  Only my own death allowed me to understood the full price that must be paid for such a thing. If you wish to
  117
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  � Ghosts of the Forgotten Past �
  Kurt Brown
  “Two hours of loose philosophising will never tilt the scale against the worth of one sound belch.”
  1. If her bones are there, then the valuable jewel on the gold chain may well be as well. Or then again, dear GM, it might not. That
  is your decision.
  
  discover the price that you must pay—and that prize—yourselves, you have only to make the attempt. Your way
  is clear.” The specter leans back and laughs heartily, vanishing in the ﬂickering light as fog before the dawn.2
  � 
  The Window
  Whether they have defeated the last of their tormentors in a running battle that spanned
  several leagues or merely spent a pleasant hour strolling to aid digestion, the travelers rest
  in the shadow of an ancient, ruined tower. The blackened stones provide shelter from the
  light mist that has blanketed the early afternoon, and hides the party from passing
  troublemakers, be they fell beasts or merely creditors. Barely half of the circumference of
  the tower still stands, rising to an impressive but unstable height of almost four stories. The
  remains of each successive ﬂoor clings to the wall of the tower in a desperate effort to
  extend their life, but the slowly shifting stones spell out their ultimate fate – to join their
  brethren in the tangled heap of stone that surrounds the remaining wall. As the adventurers
  recover from their exertions, a casual examination of the ruins reveals an unusual
  discrepancy. Far above, near the top of the tower, one perfectly unbroken pane of glass
  remains. From below, it appears to glow with a bright yellow-white glare that stands out in
  the gray haze of the afternoon storm. Climbing the interior of the ruined tower requires great skill and agility,
  especially considering the rain-slicked surface of the stones. For those who manage the climb to the window, an
  unusual sight awaits. Looking through the pane, the curious climber is treated to the sight of another world!
  They gaze upon a clear day unlike any they have experienced before, lit by the glare of a small, yellow-white
  sun far removed from the bloated russet orb that dominates the Dying Earth. Strange ﬂying machines dominate
  the cloudless sky, and a vast city stretches from horizon to horizon, a city of which no trace or memory has
  passed down to the present day. Such a ghostly window, be it magic, artiﬁce, or spirit-induced, would be an
  item of great value if it could be removed intact and functioning from the crumbling, treacherous tower.
  � 
  The Lecturing Revenant 
  Stumbling among the shattered rubble of a
  long-decayed building, the travelers are
  confronted with a bizarre and eerie sight. A
  score of ghostly ﬁgures hover in the air
  several meters above the ground. Most of
  the wisps appear to be seated on air, paying
  studious attention to the gestures and
  unheard speech of another of their cohort
  who paces back and forth across a long-
  vanished ﬂoor. The ghostly audience
  occasionally nods, applauds, or discusses
  matters of ghostly import amongst
  themselves, all out of earshot of the
  adventurers. After a few minutes, the
  spectral lecturer raises his hands, the spirits
  stand, and all fade from view. As the party
  � Ghosts of the Forgotten Past �
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  118
  2. Should anyone be unwise enough to examine the indicated corner, the result is entirely up to the whim of the GM. Perhaps the
  result is a demon realm shielded from the world by but a few inches of crumbling stone, perhaps in the corner lurks a loathsome
  creature who conjured the specter to lure the unwary into its grasp. Why, it might even be a portal through to one of the strange
  worlds listed in Turjan’s Tome or any volume in a minor trove of books of lore.
  
  prepares to depart, they suddenly ﬁnd themselves surrounded by dozens of ghostly ﬁgures, many of which they
  recognize from the ﬂoating lecture hall. The spirits seem to be imploring the travelers to search the crumbled
  ruins for something, but they lack the ability to communicate exactly what it is they desire. Searching the ruins
  is a daunting prospect – much of the rubble is in the form of large stone slabs, which require the efforts of
  many men to budge. Digging beneath them may prove a more direct method to locate the object or objects of
  the spirits’ desire, but could cause the delver to become trapped in a cave-in. While I would hesitate to restrict
  the imagination of the GM who already knows what the ghosts seek for, if you wish the phenomenon could be
  the Lecturer. She was a celebrated minor poet who inﬂicted her muse upon her fellow citizens in this area an
  aeon ago. Her urge is to teach her poetical system to as many as possible but alas, her books are lost, trapped
  in the rubble below. Should the adventurers ﬁnd her books, she and her class will fade forever, as she is
  convinced that once her books are read her system will ﬂourish. Should the adventurers be killed in the
  excavation, then they will join the class. She regards both eventualities as satisfactory.
  �
  The Ship
  Early one morning, becalmed at sea, the travelers’ vessel is slowly
  engulfed in a bank of dense fog that persists until midday. As the fog
  slowly lifts, the party is surprised to ﬁnd another, larger vessel less than a
  cables length in front of their ship. A sturdy line connects the stern of the
  mysterious vessel and the bow of the travelers’ own ship. Despite a lack of
  wind, the larger vessel, its sails ﬁlled with a non-existent wind, appears to
  be towing their ship. Figures can be seen on the deck and in the rigging of
  the mysterious vessel, but attempts to hail them go unanswered. The pilot
  of the larger vessel will occasionally leave his post to test the taut line,
  then return to his duty behind the wheel. Examining the line attached to
  their own bow, the erstwhile seamen ﬁnd it to be ordinary, if stout, hemp
  rope. As the larger ship appears to be taking the party towards their
  intended destination, it may be best to let the ships go where they may.
  Should anyone attempt to remove the rope from the bow before nightfall,
  a low moaning sound will be heard to emanate from the towing ship. As
  the rope becomes looser (or more damaged from cutting), the moaning
  will grow louder. The ghostly ﬁgures on board the large ship move to the
  stern railing and stare menacingly at those who are attempting to refuse
  their good-will gesture. At nightfall, the rope and mysterious ship will
  vanish into another sudden fog, leaving the travelers’ ship to sail onward
  under a clear sky and steady wind.
  �
  The Common-room
  The travelers have stayed on the road too long, and the dreary damp of an early evening storm drives them to
  seek shelter. They notice a warm and welcoming light just off the trail, and approach to ﬁnd a humble but well-
  maintained inn. The sounds of laughter and the smell of roasting meats draw them inside. Therein, they ﬁnd a
  large common-room crowded with many individuals, singing, drinking, playing games of chance, and generally
  enjoying an air of prosperity and plenty that seems in direct contrast to the dreary and scant countryside
  through which the party has been journeying. One man in particular, a large, rotund, red-faced giant with
  ﬂowing red hair and shaggy beard, seems to be the center of attention. He holds court near the hearth, attended
  by several comely females who freshen his drink as he plays a hand of Tumbas, a local game of chance
  � Ghosts of the Forgotten Past �
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  involving dice and cards. He calls out to the travelers: “Ho, friends, and welcome to my abode! Shake off the
  dampness and partake of our bounty! Maids, drinks for our guests! And not a word of payment – not a groat
  shall I take from you, for tonight we celebrate!” The party ﬁnds mugs of ﬁne ale (or wine, depending on the
  preference of the recipient) thrust into their hands, and several nearby revelers offer their seats to the
  newcomers. Platters heaped with meats, cheeses, and vegetables are placed before them by ﬂirtatious maidens.
  A roar of approval greets the expansive nod of the Red Man. The food and drink are of uniformly excellent
  quality. The attentions of the servers and wandering entertainers (from dancers to musicians, and even a
  juggler) are anything but lacking. The atmosphere of hospitality and good cheer is certain to crack the shell of
  the most hardened misanthrope. Questions as to the nature of the celebration are smoothly and laughingly
  rebuffed “Not now – Eat! Drink! All will be revealed at midnight!” Once the party has had their ﬁll, the Red
  Man gently shoos his opponents from his table and calls out to them “Travelers! A game of chance to pass the
  time and perhaps enrich your purses? I am a miserable failure at cards, I’m afraid!” The laughter from around
  the room and the sheepish but good-natured looks of his latest challengers seems to indicate otherwise. The
  games of chance (chosen by the party, at the insistence of the Red Man) proceed apace, taking up the balance
  of the evening. Their host is a skilled player, but does not defeat his guests more than would be considered
  polite. Drinks are consumed and sugary treats enjoyed, all in an atmosphere of goodwill and merriment.
  Questions beyond those permitted by polite small-talk are deﬂected or ignored entirely, but not in a way that
  would indicate malice. If questioned persistently, the Red Man merely suggests that midnight will bring the
  answers they seek. Outside, beyond the notice of the travelers, the storm grows more intense. As midnight
  approaches, the merriment in the inn dies down, slightly at ﬁrst, and without drawing the notice of the players
  at the Red Man’s table. Engaged as they are in spirited competition, they hardly notice that the common-room
  is slowly changing behind them3…
  �
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  3. I refuse to circumscribe your imagination, thus I leave you to ask yourself, what does the common room turn into? A sub-world
  hell populated by imps and minor demons? An empty void, cold and hanging among the stars with NOTHING forming one edge? A
  portal to another time or place that you as GM want the party to visit? The back bar of their local drinking den where they awake
  to discover the last weeks’ adventures had been but a dream? Who knows, who can know?
  
  121
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  Consisting of contributions from Lizard and Ian Thomson whose
  erudition is neither scorned nor ﬂattered with meaningless and trumpery
  trinkets and furbelows. We commence with Lizard’s composition…
  I
  t is one of the truisms of life in Earth’s last Aeon that you cannot kick
  over a loose stone without uncovering an ancient ruin. Though the
  inhabitants of the Dying Earth wallow in a slow stagnation, they are
  surrounded on all sides by evidence of change. Nothing is new, fresh, or
  virginal1 – everything lies on top of something else. Where there is now a
  sea, there was once a fertile plain; when crossing a desert, you are likely
  to ﬁnd the ruins of ships that sank when sandy barrens were a sea ﬂoor a
  mile below the surface. In the great forests of Ascolais, you will ﬁnd many
  things that were built when the land was not a forest at all.
  �
  Temple of the Six Premises
  A few dozen millennia ago—recently, really—the cult of the Six Premises
  was quite popular among certain of the intellectual class in Almery and its
  vicinity. The teachings of the cult held that the entire universe was based
  on six key principles, and that once those principles were known, any
  further knowledge could be derived from them via a process of simple
  logical deduction. Unfortunately, the cult split apart in a violent struggle
  as it slowly became evident none of the members could agree on what the
  six key principles exactly were, with the ‘Life Predates Living’ faction, for
  example, being wholly exterminated by the ‘Two Points Are Implicit In
  Time’ faction in a single brutal night. The entire cult dissolved shortly
  thereafter, and the main temple of the cult near Ascolais was abandoned,
  and soon the forest engulfed it. This is rather a shame, because, as it turns
  out, the cult was almost correct. Through a combination of logic, the lost
  sorcery of mathematics, and the aid of some bottled daemons almost any
  question can, indeed, be answered. The “Logicarium” in the lower reaches
  of the temple was nearing completion as schisms began to rack the cult. It
  remains incomplete, but almost functional.2 Anyone who reaches the
  temple and makes his way to the basement (more on that in a moment)
  will ﬁnd a strange device. It is a massive construct of gold, silver and
  bronze, in the form of a large ring perhaps 15 feet in diameter. In the
  center of the ring, the ﬂoor is encrusted with odd runes, and a pole with a
  spider’s web of pearled silver dangles from the ceiling, terminating at
  about ﬁve feet from the ﬂoor. Part of the inner ring is covered with knobs,
  levers, dials, and the like, all likewise rune-encrusted. In the darkness
  Exotic Vistas & Strange Encounters
  � The Encroaching Green �
  1. Claims of any of these, especially concerning young maidens, should be regarded with great suspicion.
  2. Let none mock the condition ‘incomplete but almost functional. It appears that as early as the Larval age, this condition was
  regarded as synonymous with ‘marketable’ especially by that class of cozerner concerned mainly with the selling of electronical
  adding machines and similar contrivances.
  
  beyond the ring, liquid-ﬁlled jars are visible, most of
  which also contain odd creatures whose shapes can
  only be dimly discerned. If someone stands in the
  center of the ring and speaks into the spider’s web,
  they may ask the Logicarium any question. The
  Logicarium is extremely persnickety and its odd,
  many-toned voice will usually ask for more details, or
  perhaps provide a correct but useless answer. An
  Illustrious Success is required to gain a useful answer.
  The questioner may keep trying, rephrasing the
  question, adjusting the dials, and so forth, until his
  Persuade pool is exhausted or he rolls a Dismal
  Failure. Upon such a failure, or upon exhaustion of the
  pool, the Logicarium will decree the questioner to be
  “irrationality incarnate” and inﬂict a single injury via a
  concealed lightning-projector.3 Some questions may be
  beyond the scope of the machine (at the GM’s
  discretion), and the reply will be along the lines of
  “The axioms needed to answer that question are un-
  derived”. Even so infuriating a device as the
  Logicarium is still of immense value, so it might seem a
  triﬂe odd that few beings have found it and made use
  of it. The answer to this puzzle can be found in the
  basement passages leading to the machine. Fearing the
  anger of the irrational mob,4 the builders of the
  machine created several unusual guardians, hybrids of
  mechanism, grue, and Northern Tasp, and set them to
  patrol. Reaching the Logicarium will require either
  defeating the beasts in combat, or convincing them
  that the questioner has the right to be there. 
  Taglines
  “When I press this button all I get is a strange pinging sound.”
  “Nonsense, it is purely a machine and therefore cannot have a mind of its’ own.”
  �
  The Demesne of Kullifer’s Hollow
  Kullifer’s Hollow is a small valley, perhaps eight miles long and two wide, which rests in a particularly dense
  and overgrown patch of Ascolais. The woods surrounding the valley are extremely dense, and are haunted by
  several sub-species of grue, making passage difﬁcult. The valley itself is only lightly wooded, with but a few
  copses of trees standing here and there. A dark lake rests on the valley ﬂoor, and there is a small village by the
  lake. A hillock overlooking the village boasts a small mansion and carefully tended ﬁelds spread out from the
  village itself. Adjectives such as “bucolic” will spring readily to the lips of passers-by, no matter how much they
  ﬁght the impulse.5 The village itself is a world out of time, a township frozen in sociological amber. No magic is
  � EXOTIC VISTAS & STRANGE ENCOUNTERS: The Encroaching Green �
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  3. Surviving texts indicate that the designers had given much thought to the concept that they encapsulated with the term ‘error
  message’.
  4. Or more probably, schismatic members of the sect.
  5. In these circumstances, readers are reminded that whilst they might indeed mock the very idea that they would use adjectives such
  as ‘bucolic’, or describe the village as ‘quaint’, ‘charming’ or even ‘picturesque’, they are most unlikely to have seen the village and
  thus should accept Lizard’s comments at face value.
  �
  THE GUARDIANS �
  Known Fact
  The Guardians exist to protect the Logicarium
  from intruders.
  Scholarly Conjecture
  The Guardians are more mechanism than being,
  and so need only air to survive.
  The Guardians can alter their form and can
  appear as any creature, until they attack.
  The Guardians may be deactivated by offering
  them honey and butter cakes.
  The Guardians may manifest almost any weapon,
  and will counter any attacker with the best
  possible counterattack.
  Ratings: Persuade (Intimidating) 0.75~, Rebuff
  (Lawyerly) 2~, Attack (Variable) 1.5~, Defense
  (Variable) 1.5~, Athletics 2, Living Rough 8,
  Perception 9, Stealth 3, Tracking 5.
  Resistances: None.
  When engaged in combat against a single
  individual, the Guardian will choose the Attack and
  Defense style best suited to defeating that
  individual. If another individual joins the fray, the
  Guardian cannot switch to yet another style.
  
  at work here, save a charm that keeps the worst of the
  local predators from encroaching on the village.
  Rather, the village still believes itself part of the Kang
  Empire, and the ruler, Lord Grand Magistrate
  Medellian Pormaund, awaits orders from the Emperor.
  It is his ﬁrm belief that such orders will be coming at
  any moment, and, until then, it is a matter of duty to
  preserve the village and their way of life against all
  disruption. The population of the village numbers
  some 500 or so, supporting themselves by ﬁshing and
  farming. Young men of the village often leave, brieﬂy,
  in their youth, to explore other regions of the woods;
  on such expeditions, they oft encounter suitable brides
  in scattered hamlets but it is rare indeed for one to
  venture out of the forests and even rarer for one who
  does to return to Kullifer’s Hollow. For this reason, the
  populace of Kullifer’s Hollow shows few of the signs
  of decrepitude that similar isolated populations do;
  indeed, the people are healthy, strong, and seemingly
  mostly sane. Over the centuries the village has existed,
  it has attempted to keep the traditions of the Kang
  alive. One by one, over the years, each family would
  eventually do something to please the Lord Grand
  Magistrate, and be awarded a noble title, and, as the
  years wore on, such titles became ever more common,
  leading to a situation where each and every inhabitant
  is a noble of some sort, from the Imperial Overseer of
  Fish-Cleansing to the Most Exalted and Twice
  Honored Cleanser of Chamber Pots. Exceedingly complex and intricate rituals of recognition abound, and so,
  to simplify things, each citizen wears a range of ribbons, buttons, emblems, and sigils, which specify with
  exacting precision their place in the social hierarchy. Failure to accord anyone the respect they deserve is, of
  course, a base violation of public decency and good order.
  Visitors will be sighted as soon as they pass over the rim of the valley, almost certainly chased there by grue.
  The grue will cease their pursuit as soon as their prey enters the valley proper. They will then call to their
  ﬂeeing victims, warning them of terrible dangers below, and telling them that a mercifully quick death would be
  preferred. “Should you come with us”, they will say, “you will be our meals, and thus, your deaths will serve a
  great and noble purpose! But if you enter the valley, you will end your lives and accomplish nothing! The
  rational choice is clear.” If the characters dismiss such arguments as wholly self-serving,6 they will soon be
  hailed by a team of four men dressed in an archaic fashion. They will be wearing ornate armor, and tall, conical
  helms ﬁtted with several feathers as decoration. Their accents will be odd and clipped, as the characters are
  asked to identify themselves. Upon hearing any identiﬁcation, they will talk hurriedly and quietly among
  themselves, and then say words to the effect of “You must come with us to the Lord Grand Magistrate of the
  Inner Domain; he shall speak to you.” The Magistrate will ask, ﬁrstly, if they are messengers from the Emperor.
  Should the characters say “No”, he will be slightly disappointed, but not otherwise too put out; surely, the
  messengers shall come tomorrow. Should they say “Yes”, he will ask to know what the Emperor wishes him to
  do. Characters may need to make a Resist Avarice check to avoid claiming that the Emperor orders the
  Magistrate to turn over all wealth to his esteemed messengers, or something of that ilk. Even if the characters
  lay aside this easily exploitable opportunity, it must be noted the Magistrate is not quite so easily fooled as he
  might seem. Orders must be given in a speciﬁc manner, phrased just so, and be issued in full accordance with
  � EXOTIC VISTAS & STRANGE ENCOUNTERS: The Encroaching Green �
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  6. An attitude we ﬁnd strangely common among characters.
  
  established protocol. In the unlikely event a character has Pedantry (Kang Empire), this conﬁdence trick may be
  pulled off; otherwise, there is little chance of convincing the Magistrate of the truthfulness of their claims. The
  exact consequences are up to the GM, but they most likely involve being left chained to a large rock on the tree
  line in anticipation of the grue. Otherwise, the village is reasonably peaceful. A guide will be assigned to the
  characters to assure that all proper manners are observed. It is likely that, sooner or later, most likely sooner,
  the topic of conversation will turn to the Kang Empire. The greater the ignorance the characters demonstrate of
  this long-dead Empire, the more distraught and worried the villagers will become. Sooner or later, the truth will
  out: the Empire is no more. The villagers, who have spent their lives believing themselves loyal subjects of the
  Empire, will be enraged – their titles are meaningless drivel! Their efforts and work are without purpose!
  Destruction and chaos will erupt. At some point, the manse of the Magistrate will be attacked. This will
  destroy the charm that has protected the valley for so long, and ﬂocks of grue, eager for fresh meat, will swarm
  in. It is at this point that the characters may ﬁnd it possible to make a hasty exit.
  Taglines
  “Of course I am a senior Kang ofﬁcial, a person of discernment would 
  recognize it instantly in my nobility of countenance”
  “Actually you are a triﬂe behind the times: the Kang Emperors 
  now punish that offense with a small ﬁne only.”
  �
  The Ghost’s Market
  This is an oddity few have spoken of. If they do, then most consider them
  to be mad, and perhaps they are. Nonetheless, the truth is there to be
  sought for those who have the courage to seek it. Deep in the woods of
  Ascolais, far from any border or clearing, some may hear an odd sound,
  the faint echo of laughter, terces jingling and all the other noises of people
  at a fair. Attempting to follow these sounds, which fade and shift as the
  winds blow, requires a tally of 5 from Perception checks. If this tally is
  successfully achieved, then the individual will come upon one of the
  stranger sights of the Dying Earth – the Ghost Market of Ascolais. It
  resembles a typical fair, such as may be found in any decent-sized town,
  but for the minor fact that all who run the booths, and most who shop at
  them, are ghosts. The phantasms come in all shapes and forms, but most
  of the customers are of men or of manlike beings, from all the aeons of
  history. So, too, are the merchants. One man may be selling wood
  carvings of the 12th Aeon, while another, in the next booth, offers the
  nose-jewelry popular in the Crimson Banner Kingdom that peaked late in
  the 14th Aeon. Art, weapons, jewelry, musical instruments, and more, all
  are offered. Coins of any age are accepted in trade. There is only one
  problem7 – the items are insubstantial, shadows of light and smoke, and
  no living being can easily handle them. They are things out of time, and
  do not belong here. Two possibilities offer themselves. Firstly, a buyer
  may simply kill himself, thus becoming a ghost, and thus able to use his
  purchases. This possibility is sub-optimal.8 A second option is to attempt
  to bring the items forth into the modern era, and give them solidity again.
  Several spells may be found which will claim to do this, such as
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  7. The editorial staff of The Excellent Prismatic Spray are willing to concede that there are indeed many problems. We feel that they
  pale into insigniﬁcance next to this one, hence our perhaps excessively bold use of the phrase, “There is only one problem”.
  8. For several reasons which we have not the space to further investigate
  The chele melon proves a triﬂe
  sweet for the educated palate,
  but the rind makes an admirable
  pickle to accompany cold meats.
  
  ‘Phandaal’s Chronatic Shift’, and a quest may be undertaken to locate and use such spells. Alternatively,
  Sandestins may perform such magics, for the cost of 1⁄2 an indenture point; such enchantments are quite taxing.
  Sadly, such efforts will prove vain, as the items, once restored to solidity, also suffer all the ravages of age, and
  rapidly crumble into dust. Sandestins will, of course, not volunteer this information unless directly asked. 
  There are other reasons to attend the Ghost Market. Interrogating other shoppers, or even the merchants, may
  provide knowledge of past ages. Each knows only the things of his or her own era, but, even so, this can prove
  valuable. If someone is seeking knowledge of a city lost late in the 17th Aeon, it is possible some merchant or
  customer at the Ghost Market lived in that time, and can tell you of it.
  Taglines
  “I have stood at crowded bars and wondered if I were a ghost, 
  so long did it take to be served, but this situation is wholly unfamiliar to me.”
  “How can time be of any value to someone who has been dead for three Aeons?”
  �
  The Petriﬁed Manse of Nemileen the Thrice
  Nemileen was a potent mage of the mid-19th Aeon, and his home was at the center of the vast city-state he
  ruled. After his death, the city-state fell to packs of half-erb barbarians. When they broke in to plunder his
  mansion, a ward was triggered, and the mansion,
  along with much of the city and the attacking half-
  erbs, was turned to stone. In the ensuing ages, the
  forest has closed in on the stone city, encrusting and
  encasing it. It is now hidden entirely, except for
  some odd shapes under the trees and the occasional
  very lifelike statue of a half-erb found encrusted
  with lichen and moss. Only the manse, a many-
  terraced structure of delicate arches and broad
  windows, remains mostly unenclosed by the forest.
  Visitors to the manse will ﬁnd it a place to rest out a
  summer storm, or hide from a hungry grue. It is an
  eerie, but oddly beautiful, place. The spell Nemileen
  left to ward his possessions was an enchantment of
  artistry as well as power. The windows of the manse
  are now translucent crystal, purple-veined quartz
  and warm amber. The interior is a blend of
  countless types of stone, with red-veined marble
  having replaced the wooden banister of the main
  staircase and obsidian curtains hanging around the
  bed in the master bedroom. The books in the library
  have covers of granite and pages of shale so thin
  they are almost transparent. Contrary to all rational
  expectation, there is little intrinsic threat to this
  place. Any number of odd beings with strange
  motivations may well have taken up residence
  here—indeed, it is large enough to support several
  independent inhabitants—but there is no hostile
  power directly linked to the building itself. The
  potent magics used to create the place are long since
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  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  
  faded, and no one is presently at risk of petrifaction. No further guardians remain to prey on trespassers, and
  Nemileen himself is far beyond this plane, and will take no steps to revenge himself on those who violate his
  former home. In short, the Petriﬁed Manse is simply an interesting bit of scenery, a moment of strange beauty
  in the midst of the usual chaos and turmoil.
  Taglines
  “Look at it, the face of a half erb and as cold and unyielding as stone. It reminds me of my last wife.”
  “The bed, while admittedly clean and well aired, is somewhat to hard for my taste.”
  �
  Lake Tallowmeer
  In the northern part of Ascolais, the forest grows preternaturally thick. Transit without the aid of magic
  becomes painfully slow, with the trees packed together so tightly that, in some places, a diversion of a few miles
  is essential merely to get around a particularly dense patch of foliage. It is in the heart of this region that the
  near-legendary Lake Tallowmeer is to be found. While exploring in this dense wood, one of the party, chosen
  either at random, or on the basis of being the most deserving,9 will emit a sudden “Whoop!”10 and then be
  silent, vanishing from the view of the rest of the characters. Careful examination of the area in which he fell
  will reveal an odd hollow beneath the close-packed roots; further examination will show the hollow extends
  rather a long way down. At the far end of the declivity, which is really more of a tunnel going on for at least
  100 feet, there is another opening, into...somewhere else. Those who look through the opening will ﬁnd
  themselves staring down, from a height of some hundred yards, onto the surface of a large lake. The lake itself
  is perhaps a mile long and half a mile wide, and the entire underground chamber is roughly double these
  dimensions. The entire place is suffused with a tranquil emerald light of no discernible source, and the air has
  an odd scent to it, the smell of exotic ﬂowers and moisture. It is cool11 and a slight breeze is always blowing.
  The lost member of the party can be seen struggling in the center of the lake, having taken a single Injury in his
  fall. Getting down to rescue him, or ﬁnding some way to bring him up, is a worthy goal (under most
  circumstances) but exploration of the strange chamber is likely to be considered as well. GMs should encourage
  such exploration, perhaps with subtle hints.12 Getting down should be a trivial matter for Turjan-level
  characters, and perhaps a bit more challenging for Cugel-level individuals. The roots that form the ceiling of
  the chamber are strong, and can be climbed easily enough, though the fall will be painful. Not as painful as it
  should be: something in the air here slows falling objects considerably, so that anyone plummeting from the
  roof, rather than dying as they justly deserve, merely suffers a single injury. The area surrounding the lake is
  dotted with small hamlets of 10 to 20 buildings, each containing about 30 to 80 inhabitants. The folk who live
  here are short, with pallid white skin, no evident hair on either gender, and wide yellow eyes. Their teeth tend
  to be sharp, and their hands display signs of webbing between the ﬁngers. They are initially terriﬁed of visitors.
  Over time, curiosity will overcome their fear and they will approach. They speak an oddly distorted version of
  the standard dialect, but they are easy enough to comprehend. They are exceptionally forthright in their speech,
  even rudely so, and will make direct comments on the visitors’ odd smell, ugly outer garments, weird posture,
  and so on. Further conversation will show that the beings of the lake not only lack manners; it seems they lack
  all concept of prevarication. It is quite impossible for them to speak falsely; the idea will never occur to them.
  At least, not at ﬁrst…
  The lake dwellers believe that the world beyond the Green Ceiling is long since dead, the sun extinguished
  aeons past, and that they are the sole remnants of the world left. If confronted with evidence that this is not so,
  they will become by turns confused and angry. Having lived for millennia on raw ﬁsh, moss, and sand-jumpers
  (a small but tasty insect), the thought that a far richer (albeit eventually doomed) world was literally just
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  9. For example, the player involved had the temerity to order anchovies on the pizza that night.
  10. This is a literal translation.
  11. But still too warm to properly chill white wine.
  12. Having the rest of the party all slip uncontrollably down the tunnel is probably a shade over the top.
  
  overhead will distress them utterly. Of course, it is quite possible that the characters never explain the facts of
  the matter. Since the Tallowmeer folk are utterly gullible, they will accept any story—the characters were
  magically transported from the distant past, the characters are ghosts, the characters are from Far Arcturus—
  anything at all. There is one other point of interest in Tallowmeer, and that is the source of the light. If asked
  about it, the Tallowmeer folk will happily paddle a small canoe out to the center of the lake, and direct the
  characters to look down. There, shimmering in the deepest part of the lake, is a jewel at least a foot across,
  something like an emerald, but lit from within with a cold ﬁre of indescribable beauty. It is a unique artifact,
  and worth an untold number of terces. Anyone viewing it must Resist Avarice at a levy of 1 or begin plotting to
  steal it. 
  There are several aspects to an adventure in Lake Tallowmeer. The revelation of the outer world to the
  inhabitants, the inevitable discovery by the inhabitants of the ﬁne art of deceit (and the impact this may have
  on characters who have come to trust the utter inability of the natives to lie) and schemes to acquire the light-
  stone will all intertwine, leading, with almost gravitational certainty, to the destruction of Tallowmeer society.
  So it goes. Upon exposure to direct sunlight, the light-stone will crumble to green dust, worth perhaps a terce.
  Taglines
  “At least their women do not smell entirely of ﬁsh.”
  “I wonder if such a simple people would be interested in a few honest games of chance?”
  �
  And now from the not unworthy pen of Ian Thomson…..
  The Singing Tree
  Any villager in that part of the Forest of Ascolais can alert an interested traveler to the presence of their famous
  ‘Singing Tree’, only an hour or so from the edge of town. The pathway there is well worn by the feet of many
  pilgrims and curious visitors, crossing the swift ﬂowing stream by a robust bridge of tree trunks, and skirting
  the edge of Hugaph Woods.
  On any given day, the visitor may ﬁnd other tourists already sitting near the tree, or perhaps two or three locals
  enjoying a picnic. Or, if he is extremely fortunate, he may be here alone, and can sit in the shade beneath the
  high branches undisturbed.
  The Singing Tree is taller than most other trees of the region, and of a species as yet unidentiﬁed.13 For reasons
  unknown, at intervals that seem to follow no recognizable pattern, several times a day the tree shudders and
  emits a series of haunting melodic sighs that may last for a few seconds or for several minutes.
  The tree has no apparent organs or extremities capable of emitting such sounds, and keen observers report that
  the noises seem to emanate by way of a breeze that ﬂows from between its luxuriant growth of leaves.
  Climbing into the tree to seek the source of these harmonies puts a person in peril in two ways. Firstly the tree
  itself seems to resent such intrusions, and branches jerk, kink, or otherwise evade a climber’s grasp once he has
  reached some distance from the ground. In these circumstances the climber must make two successful Athletics
  rolls, both at a penalty of 1, to avoid falling twenty feet.14 Secondly, local law forbids such trespass, on penalty
  of three days hard labor in the village drogger pens (an undertaking likely to leave one ﬁt for no form of
  human congress for several days thereafter.).
  Taglines
  “In my boyhood I was a noted tree climber. I shall stand here and advise you as you climb.”
  “Such music may not be without monetary value.”
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  13. Some have postulated that it was created by a mage in the distant past, others that the tree is a singer of some renown who
  offended a mage in the distant past.
  14. see ‘Falling’, P56 DERPG
  
  The Man of Brass
  Whilst crossing a region inhabited only by uncouth hunters and sly anthropophagic beasts,15 the travelers come
  across the ruin of a large house. This now evidences little more than earth covered hummocks marking where
  its main walls once stood. Two large stone gateposts, which, despite being overgrown with creeping vegetation,
  have also somehow survived the years. If the vegetation is cleared away, the left-hand post sports a brass plaque
  with the single word ‘Drojak’ engraved upon it. Anyone who enters this area other than through the gateway
  will ﬁnd nothing of any interest at all, unless they mount a full excavation of the property. In this case, they
  may, after many hours of labor, uncover various semi-valuable relics that might earn them some proﬁt when
  sold to curio collectors or historians. Those who choose to enter the property through the apparently defunct
  gateway, will notice no immediate change, and yet have partially entered another realm. In this realm exists a
  living antique, a sentient creation from long ago, still sadly mourning the days when its responsibilities and
  attention to detail made it a valuable, nay essential, assistant to the resident nobility. This Drojak, for it was
  named after the grand residence for which it bore responsibility, will soon become visible, but only to those
  who pass through the gate. It will arise from its prone contemplation, offering them all it can do to make their
  stay within the property as comfortable and enjoyable as possible. Drojak is a small brass man, a little shorter
  than the average sized male adult, and correct in every anatomical detail, barring the necessary equipment for
  procreation and full enjoyment of the carnal delights. He can collect ﬁrewood, assist in food preparation, wash
  clothes, and perform a multitude of other household tasks, many of which have no way of being performed in
  his current situation.16 He is neither visible nor tangible to those without magical senses, unless they ﬁrst pass
  between the gateposts. The main problem with Drojak is that he is lonely, and requests that any visitor who
  accepts even one of his offered services stay with him and beneﬁt from his servitude for the rest of their natural
  life.17 Drojak is able to enforce his wishes with a superhuman strength, superior agility, and great resistance to
  any manner of normal physical attrition. Magicians of merit may ﬁnd various ways to inconvenience him, but
  he even resists magical powers with great enthusiasm, if not with ease. Anyone trapped upon his premises may
  notice he occasionally (when believing himself to be unobserved) visits a
  secret place within the ruins. Here he has hidden a small brass box, and
  within it he keeps his gender-speciﬁc attachments. A prisoner who
  uncovers this secret may gain an advantage, as these items, whether
  attached or apart, are much more vulnerable to physical attack than the
  rest of him. More morbid discoveries might be the partially interred
  remains of his previous ‘guests’. If a person were to escape, leaving Drojak
  only temporarily discommoded, and not depart back through the gates by
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  15. Cynics have suggested that this could include the Golden Walk in Kaiin.
  16. Hence his unparalleled skill with an early Kang fruit blender will only become obvious should the party have both the implement
  and the fruit to be blended.
  17. Unfortunately his skills do not extend to building maintenance so he will not be able to provide his guests with even the most
  rudimentary shelter.
  � DROJAK �
  “I exist purely to serve.”
  Ratings: Persuade (Glib) ~+4,
  Rebuff (Wary) ~+6, Attack
  (Strength) ~+4, Defense
  (Intuition) ~+5, Health 16,
  Magic (Devious) ~+3, Appraisal
  6, Athletics 5, Concealment 5,
  Driving 2, Etiquette 4,
  Gambling ~+3, Living Rough 3,
  Pedantry 12, Perception 6,
  Physician 3, Quick Fingers 4,
  Riding 2, Stewardship 15,
  Stealth 3, Wherewithal 10.
  Resistances:
  Rakishness Ω,
  Gourmandism Ω.
  
  which they entered, the man of brass would surely later follow and exact his angry revenge. This would likely
  happen at an untimely moment, causing great embarrassment and discomfort to not only the perceived
  perpetrator of his rejection, but also to any others in the way of ﬂying objects such as furniture and brass ﬁsts.
  Leaving through the gates may, according to the whims of fate, satisfy his deluded cognition that the potential
  victim has departed his domain and thus moved beyond his reach. Alternately, a person of sufﬁciently compelling
  verbosity might persuade Drojak to relinquish his useless servitude at the ruin and instead attach himself to their
  retinue. Should this occur, it might be advisable at least to furnish the brass man with a suit of clothes to reduce
  some measure of surprise for those that encounter him on the road. Note that in such a case, Drojak will not
  travel without his small box and its valuable contents. Sadly, Drojak is unlikely to remain a companion for long,
  as his unique powers will likely soon be coveted by those more powerful and more persuasive than his new
  ‘master’. Even so, in this meager time, he might prove to be profoundly useful in many ways.
  Taglines
  “I suspect that if we could catch him by his gender-speciﬁc attachments, his heart and mind could well be
  amenable to our suggestions.”
  “What harm can there be in a little personal service.”
  �
  Silver Bells
  In some woodland, far from any main trail, an almost indistinguishable ruin lies buried within the groves. The
  ruin itself is not remarkable, but at one of its boundaries stands a tall tree decorated high above the ground by
  silver bells. These sometimes chime as if shaken by the wind, but do so whether the air is quiescent or the wind
  is turbulent, and never with any greater volume than on a previous occasion. Travelers are sometimes drawn to
  the spot by the ethereal sound of the bells, and sitting beneath the tree is
  refreshing to both body and soul.18 Whilst in repose, a man might
  ruminate that a single bell would surely fetch a useful sum at any market
  place. Scaling the tree is not overly arduous,19 but the bells are at the ends
  of fragile branches, and so reaching one of them is a notable task
  (requiring an Athletics tally of ﬁve). When a bell is touched, it
  metamorphoses into a living human or half-man, who plummets from the
  tree.20 The person who grasped the bell is instantly transformed into a
  bell identical to all others on the tree and hangs suspended from the same
  branch from which the previous bell hung. Recovering a friend so
  entrapped is an awkward process, possibly requiring scaffolding, a live
  captive deodand, and an excellent spatial memory with a certain aptitude
  for arboreal distinctions. Attacking the tree with an axe or similar
  implement will have two effects. The ﬁrst is that the blade will bounce off
  the tough bark; the second effect is that the vibration will undoubtedly
  disturb the bees who nest deep in the trunk. 
  Taglines
  “I never thought I would ﬁnd myself engaged in a quest for an unwilling
  campanologist.”
  “Would you think that a buzzing sound might signify something of
  import?”
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  18. Certainly GMs should allow characters to refresh one dice pool.
  19. Demanding no more than one Athletics success.
  20. With the risk of suffering severe injury. Their fall might be broken by a cart load of hay, a pile of bed rolls, or even one of the
  characters.
  
  Beach of Bones
  The coast of Ascolais is in many places dismal and uninhabited. Indeed
  much is inaccessible save from the sea and mariners give it a wide berth.
  Thus it is that far from civilized human habitation, our travelers may meet
  with further troublesome escapades. Today they traverse a ﬁrm sandy
  beach with a cliff at one side and rolling ocean on their other hand. The
  cliff is made from packed alluvial shale and stones and at intervals has
  partially collapsed, creating rough headlands that block the way. As they
  scramble over the narrower part of one of these outcroppings an
  unexpected scene is laid out ahead. The long curving beach before them is
  much wider than the strip of sand they have been following, and the cliff
  drops back into dunes covered with a forest of dense grasses. It is not
  these surroundings that amaze, but the contents of the beach. The beach
  extends to a far headland, and its entire expanse is festooned with the
  skeletons of sea creatures, many of which are as large as (or larger than) a
  respectably sized manse. Travelers may vary in their perceptions of this
  place. Some may ﬁnd it macabre, others regard it as spectacularly
  beautiful, and others (more practically minded) simply as an obstacle
  course to be negotiated. Sufﬁcient to say that all must wend their way
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  � FRADRASTOR �
  “I see that you have damaged
  two of my catalogued collection.
  Recompense is demanded.”
  Ratings: Persuade (Forthright) 9,
  Rebuff (Lawyerly) 12, Attack
  (Ferocity) 8, Defense (Sure-
  Footedness) 9, Health 12, Magic
  (Studious) 20, Specialization
  (Biology) 12, Appraisal 8,
  Astronomy 9, Athletics 2,
  Concealment 5, Engineering 7,
  Etiquette 2, Gambling 5, Living
  Rough 3, Pedantry 17,
  Perception 6, Physician 8, Riding
  4, Stealth 5, Tracking 3, Wealth
  14, Wherewithal 6
  Resistances: Arrogance 4,
  Avarice 6, Gourmandism 5,
  Indolence 4, Pettifoggery 3,
  Rakishness Ω.
  
  between the gleaming bones of aquatic behemoths, past massive grinning
  skulls, and through temples formed from vast white ribcages. Between
  their greater cousins, the skeletons of smaller creatures, little bigger than
  large mermelants, also lie. The common hazards of this area are the
  audacious rylniks (dog-size rodents) that feed upon the recent smaller
  carcasses. (There are no recent huge corpses.) A less common, but
  decidedly more worrying imposition, is the attention of Fradrastor the
  Collector, a large insectoid sentient who regards this beach as his own
  private property.
  Taglines
  “Apparently ground bone sells at twenty terces per cart load 
  in Sfere where they value it as fertilizer.”
  “Let no one even contemplate any form of spell for animating the dead.”
  �
  A Roadside Stone
  The Roadside Stone stands just a few leagues before a town that may
  serve as a stopping point for footloose vagabonds or well-intentioned
  intermediaries. The Stone recognizes no such distinctions. Taller than one
  man on the shoulders of another and so wide at its base that the same
  two men could not clasp their arms around it, this tapering obelisk is
  decorated with pictograms of unfathomable origin. If touched with bare
  skin, it is as warm as a living creature, but groans each such time as if in
  pain. Local legend narrates that each midnight, a form appears near the
  stone and searches all around for something that it never ﬁnds. Should
  brave adventurers return to the site and wait until midnight they will
  observe a shadow step from the stone and begin to inspect the
  surroundings with meticulous zeal. The ﬁgure may be deﬁned as a tall
  woman in a dark hooded cape, who is uncommonly fair to the eye. If
  greeted openly, she will admit that she is the victim of a curse, and each
  night must seek a certain blue jewel, lost here long ago. Those of a
  romantic inclination might persuade her to relinquish her searching and
  engage in more amorous pursuits, and perhaps she will oblige. Any person
  conjoining with her is lost and will be dragged into the substance of the
  stone, for this is her horrible purpose. Locals neglect to warn travelers, for
  if not regularly appeased this witch roams further aﬁeld to sate her
  damnable appetite.
  Taglines
  “When I said that I preferred a woman of spirit, 
  she is not entirely what I had in mind.”
  “I have always been strangely attracted to older women.”
  �
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  � THE WITCH OF THE STONE �
  Ratings: Persuade (Charming)
  12, Rebuff (Penetrating) 11,
  Attack (Caution) 6, Defense
  (Vexation) 8, Health 6, Magic
  (Devious) 6, Athletics 4,
  Etiquette 4, Imposture 6,
  Pedantry 6, Perception 6,
  Seduction 8, Stealth 2,
  Wherewithal 2. 
  Resistances: Indolence 2,
  Pettifoggery 4.
  � Rylniks �
  “Eat, Eat”
  Ratings: Attack (Speed) 6,
  Defense (Intuition) 5, Health 2.
  Athletics 5, Perception 4, Stealth
  5. 
  
  The Toll Bridge
  Far from any major habitation, a bridge of wondrous architectural
  consummation spans a great gorge through which ﬂows a remarkably
  potent river. Even were the travelers able to climb down (an unpredictable
  undertaking at best), crossing the raging rapids would still be problematic.
  This ancient arching stone overpass provides the only reasonable way
  forward, unless the group has time and predilection to make a prodigious
  detour. Stepping out bravely reveals the sturdiness of this construction,
  despite the passage of centuries and the frequent small bushes and patches
  of grass now growing on the bridge. Unfortunately, entire blocks are
  missing from the ramparts, and (more disturbingly) from the main
  structure on which they walk. This latter deﬁciency provides spectacular
  views into the ravine and of the exuberant watercourse below. 
  Animals might need encouragement to risk this passage. Those who
  proceed will not fail to notice the briskness of the wind as they approach
  the arch’s apex, and the increased number of missing blocks underfoot. Nonetheless they may continue
  unimpeded until the summit itself is crossed. Waiting patiently, concealed behind a bush until the wayfarers’
  approach, is an anthropophagic desperado of imposing stature. This brigand has the impertinence to be
  wearing the remnants of stylish attire, and sports a mighty axe, utterly incongruous to his pretensions of
  civility. This recalcitrant demands wealth or property as the whim takes him, and has the strength and audacity
  to back up the claims that he is capable of hurling his victims bodily from the edges of the bridge or through
  one of its more notable breaches. Dealing with him may be either costly or hazardous. If seriously challenged,
  he may ﬂee with haste. If encountering those unable to defend themselves, he feasts at leisure.
  Taglines
  “I knew no good would come of ignoring my mothers advice to 
  refrain from consorting with the great unwashed.”
  “Fear not, he is all blather, advance rapidly and strike him with your staff.”
  “Sirrah, from your mode of dress I assume you to be involved in some thespian enterprise.
  I am afraid you fail to carry the audience.”
  �
  The Unusual Deodand
  Ambushed and injured by half-men one night in a woodland, the travelers ﬂed, only to become geographically
  disadvantaged, with the sound of rampaging death pursuing them. From the shadows steps a deodand, its
  hands raised in friendship. “Fear me not. Whilst my form must surely inconvenience your senses, I offer you
  only my assistance. Those we hear would surely proffer merely their grating jaws and digestive capacities.” If
  questioned succinctly, he will explain that ruins are nearby where artful adventurers could evade a battalion of
  erbs, or pick them off at leisure from defensible doorways and narrowly arched passages. He is happy to lead
  them there, as all he wishes is to make amends for the deplorable conduct of the majority of his species. True to
  his word, the deodand will hastily lead them further into the woodlands, to a ruined town now greatly
  overgrown. He leaves them to their own devices and departs, lest he ‘alarm them any further’. The ruins prove
  to be most excellent for evading and ambushing the erbs, the survivors of which eventually retreat. 
  The travelers, by now greatly exhausted, may take refuge in a well-preserved building where they can barricade
  the door. Whilst searching for such a place, they likely note the impressive antiquity of their surroundings, the
  formerly exquisite architecture, broken aqueducts, cracked and sludge-ﬁlled ornamental ponds, and fallen
  venerative towers. After only an hour or thereabouts, the deodand returns, this time with others of his kind.
  They seek out the travelers, and prepare to dispatch them for ease of eating. It is singularly curious for a
  � EXOTIC VISTAS & STRANGE ENCOUNTERS: The Encroaching Green �
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  � THE BRIGAND ON THE BRIDGE �
  “Cliché demands I ask for your
  money or your life. Personally I
  would prefer to take both.”
  Ratings: Persuade (Intimidating)
  10, Rebuff (Wary) 10, Attack
  (Ferocity) 2~, Defense (Sure-
  Footedness) 1.5~, Health 2~,
  Athletics 10, Concealment 8,
  Living Rough 8, Perception 6,
  Stealth 8, Tracking 10,
  Wherewithal 8.
  Resistances: Pettifoggery Ω.
  
  deodand to use such foresight in methodology. This could be a tale his victims might dine out upon for many
  days ahead, should they have the unlikely good fortune to survive.
  Taglines
  “Pah, we should never have trusted anyone more swift tongued 
  than a publisher’s nark.”
  “For myself I am sure it is just the sort of understanding 
  that can be settled by persons of good will discussing the details 
  at length. Ideally not over lunch.”
  � 
  Strange Fishing on the Ascolais coast
  PCs approach a prosperous ﬁshing village. They should be struck by the
  remarkable beauty of the ﬁsher-folk. The women particularly are
  remarkable for their impressive ﬁgures and ﬁne complexions. There are no
  children in evidence.
  The PCs are very well-received by the friendly villagers. They will explain,
  if nobody comments upon it, that there are no children because it would
  not do to become pregnant before the Queen. This would be a
  discourtesy. The Queen, while in all other ways a docile, humane and
  caring person, has to follow the ancient rules when a discourtesy is
  committed. The row of iron cages suspended over the water will be
  indicated at this point. Anyone guilty of a discourtesy to the Queen will
  be closeted in a cage, pelted with ﬁlth and ordure, and left to rot until
  their remains trickle through the bars and feed the sacred ﬁsh below.
  Some may ask why none of the local gallants have put themselves forward
  for the role of the Queen’s consort. The inhabitants have a ready answer.
  “They consider themselves unworthy.”
  Why? The normal answer seems to be that they consider the Queen to be
  the epitome of beauty, far outshining all other ladies in the village.
  Looking at the pulchritude displayed about them, it would be a ﬂint-
  hearted soul who did not long to just gaze upon such charms.
  The PCs doubtless have among their number gentlemen of high repute
  and noble mien. One of these would doubtless be the one to become the
  Queens consort for a month and thus save the village from the celibate
  fate into which it had fallen. Of course, they would have to bear with
  being the Keeper of the Pearl Vaults and Wielder of the Sacred Periapts as
  well. Power, wealth and fabulous beauty on their arm? There should be
  quite a struggle for the honor of this position amongst the PCs. This
  competition will be keenly fostered by the women of the village. The
  Queen will agree to meet with the party when one of them has been
  chosen as the most worthy. If necessary, it will become apparent that any
  urge to ﬂee without electing someone to this post would be a deﬁnite
  discourtesy. Furthermore, alert ﬁshermen armed with long spears, entirely
  to ward the village from any marauding beasts, patrol the village margins.
  When the Queen ﬁnally appears, she is a hideously repellent creature. The
  local girls will sing her praises:
  “See how her teeth jut out at the same angle as the sacred Thraup ﬁsh!”
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  “Her skin has the same grey tinge as the mule shark, lord of the seas!”
  “Scent how wonderfully her hair has been greased with the rancid fat of harﬁsk livers.”
  “Her eyes look in different directions so she may see her subjects and the spirit world at the same time!”
  Remembering that to attempt to become the Queens consort and yet fail to rise to expectations would be a
  serious discourtesy, there may now be something of a shufﬂing of feet. The previously most worthy PC will
  doubtless attempt to bow out gracefully to others, who will be equally keen to dodge the great honor. Of
  course, backing out without good cause would certainly represent a discourtesy, and there are plenty of iron
  cages waiting. To complicate matters, the village girls will enter the debate, encouraging PCs to either stand as
  Consort or force others to do so. 
  � Minx one will offer blandishments of erotic possibilities as soon as the deed is done and she is free to
  perform congress.
  � Minx two will advance the theory that the Queen is the victim of an enchantment and as soon as she is
  swept away in the arms of some gallant and roundly kissed, her true glorious form will return.
  � Minx three will offer the use of a magical adjunct shaped like a mushroom. There is but a single charge in
  the device, but once rubbed in the relevant area, a gentleman will have ten hours of marvelous delights
  available to him, even had he no partner but a week-dead skate.21
  Eventually a winner, or loser, will appear. He must attempt to overcome his natural repugnance or commit a
  discourtesy. The latter will result in a visit to the cages, which are indeed very well guarded. If the former, then
  the village will be freed from its self-imposed curse and access to the Pearl Vaults will prove lucrative. In the
  event of failure, a second champion must be found, and so on, until there are no PCs remaining. If all fail, they
  will be doomed to the iron cages and the humiliation of being heaped with rotting ﬁsh guts. Eventually one of
  the minxes will arrange their release, minus anything of value (of course) and they will depart with a greater
  understanding of human nature and the lingering scent of dead ﬁsh.
  Taglines
  “Fortunately I am fond of ﬁsh.”
  “Bah, the situation is hopeless.”
  �
  � EXOTIC VISTAS & STRANGE ENCOUNTERS: The Encroaching Green �
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  134
  21. It is to be suspected that tales of two and three are delusory. Who knows the future with one?
  the Prince of Kaiin
  A bare eight miles from Kaiin along the Mermelant Trail, 
  the Prince of Kaiin Inn provides sumptuous meals for the discerning. 
  We are pleased to announce a series of TRADDAY PHILOSOPHICAL REPASTS, in which our Mar-trained chefs
  present the ﬁnest in food and wine in combinations to seduce the mind as well as the palate. 
  Book now to avoid disappointment!
  discreet elegance ... elegant discretion
  
  The Cart of Confections
  The travellers are progressing along a reasonably well-frequented route
  between the small forest towns of Charn and Kaloop1 when they
  encounter a man sitting on a grassy knoll. This gentleman is dressed in an
  unusual assortment of clothes; sturdy boots of superior cut, long green
  jacket, and capaciously brimmed red hat, sporting a blue feather. Beside
  him is a small, wheeled cart, an obvious antique that is decorated with
  faded symbols and text of no discernible meaning. The cart is taller than
  it is wide, the wheels being unusually large for its size, and on its top are
  two closed hatches. In response to their interest, the man introduces
  himself as Erbid the Confectioner, claiming a prodigious reputation in this
  region as a purveyor of sweetmeats from his magical trolley. For a very
  generous donation he can offer them refreshment from a long list of
  delights. If they are completely without funds, he will even offer them a
  sample. He explains that generosity is a luxury he can easily afford, since
  the trolley replenishes itself at no effort. It is his good fortune to have
  been given the enchanted device in return for assisting an Arch-magician
  many years ago, and its powers have been set so that they work only for
  him. On recognizing that his new acquaintances are in a sore ﬁnancial
  predicament, Erbid has a proposal for them. In order to maintain his
  livelihood, he must travel regularly between the two towns, and once in a
  while feels the need to rest. Providing they swear to return the cart to him
  at an agreed location in three days, he offers them the use of it, explaining
  that after three days he will have to reset the magic, or it will no longer
  function. He does not wish to ask any of his neighbors to help him, for
  fear that they might then decide to attempt to control his business,
  foreigners passing through are the perfect assistants. He offers to
  accompany them along the way to Kaloop for a while, having exhausted
  custom in Charn these last three days, and explains the workings of the
  device. It is simple enough; one merely calls the name of the desired
  refreshment, raps sharply on a hatch, and reaches inside to ﬁnd it waiting.
  He teaches them a list of popular delicacies, such as the luscious
  Robanberry Tartlette, and the mouth-watering Pijangle Stick. Sure
  enough, the cart works as planned, and Erbid watches like a benevolent
  patriarch as they make their ﬁrst sale to a small group of hungry pilgrims.
  Then he departs for his house in Charn, arranging to meet them in three
  days. Unknown to the party, on reaching Charn he collects his meager
  belongings and departs the region at speed. The cart is as much a curse as
  a burden, as our unsuspecting travellers will discover. All goes well at
  Kaloop, although if the locals are questioned, they reveal that Erbid has
  only been amongst them for a few weeks, which goes against his
  description of himself as a long-time resident of these parts. On the
  135
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  � Cozener’s Expedients �
  “I urge you to ignore his long spatulate ﬁngers”
  1. Towns from courtesy only. Were the inhabitants guaranteed not to discover my true
  opinion, I would name them villages or even hamlets, bereft of any society or culture. They lie deep in Almery.
  
  evening of the third day a knocking will come from within the cart, which if investigated reveals an ugly imp
  who promptly demands payment. If the knocking is ignored, the imp climbs out to accost the cart’s new
  owners. Erbid has transferred ownership to them through trickery, and it is now their responsibility to provide
  the imp with his nourishment. Every three days it demands the ﬂesh and blood of an entire sentient being, to be
  cooked and fed to it through the hatches of the cart. If this is not done, the imp is capable of inﬂicting a minor
  curse upon each member of the group, such as nasal liquidity, or aching brain. Transferring ownership of the
  cart reveals that not all are as gullible as themselves. Ordinary folk will demand to know the liability, and laugh
  at protestations of innocence, perhaps even causing the would-be purveyors to be run out of town. Most
  sinister of all, the cart appears both indestructible and unavoidable. No matter what they try, a few hours later,
  it will reappear at their side, rolling on its squeaking wheels from a darkened alcove, or simply standing before
  them as they round a bend in the road.
  � 
  Sirgefeo’s Legacy
  Walking along a road the characters see a neatly if humbly dressed old man, apparently exhausted, leaning on
  his cane and half collapsed against a tree. When they draw near he hails them with a weary gesture. The old
  man is named Sirgefeo. He greets the characters and begs them to sell him some wine or water, for which he
  proposes to pay the sum of one silver terce, a more than fair amount. 
  Once he has been given something to quench his thirst, Sirgefeo sadly explains that he has become exhausted
  while attempting an important journey, which he fears he must now abandon. Coughing and wheezing, he will
  then show the characters a document he is carrying, a letter bearing the
  seal of Octorus, from a Magistrate of Octorus announcing that his uncle
  Cakamue, a wizard of some note, has passed away, leaving Sirgefeo a
  legacy consisting of a moderately large sum of terces and a small
  collection of thaumaturgical artifacts and tomes. Unfortunately, Sirgefeo
  suffers from a rare disease, an afﬂiction of the lungs and liver,2 which can
  only be cured by special medicines and an extended period of
  convalescence. He is too sick to travel to Octorus and claim his legacy,
  and must instead immediately receive treatment from an Apothecary in
  Kaiin or face the certainty of imminent death from his afﬂiction. While
  explaining his plight, Sirgefeo seems to suddenly be struck by an idea.
  Unbuttoning his tunic, he reveals a curious bronze pendant hanging on a
  silvered chain over his sunken, purple-spotted chest. Sirgefeo removes the
  pendant, which he explains is a medallion bearing the family seal, given to
  him at birth by his dear uncle. With tears in his eyes, Sirgefeo proposes to
  give the characters his pendant, the document with the ofﬁcial seal, and a
  letter in his hand naming one of them as his legal representative. In
  exchange he asks only for a modest sum of money, sufﬁcient to pay for
  his badly needed medicaments, which he will repay out of the inheritance. 
  If the PCs are willing, he will ask them to help him limp back to the
  nearby town or village3 where he will make the arrangements. Everything
  appears to be in order. The medallion, portraying the image of a bear and
  a maiden and the letter “C”, appears to be both aged and genuine. The
  ofﬁcial document bears the formal seal of Octorus and if the characters
  insist, Sirgefeo can have his letter appointing them his agents notarized by
  the local lawyer, Corha. Unbeknownst to the party, Corha also happens to
  � Cozener’s Expedients �
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  136
  2. That this afﬂiction is serious is obvious even to the casual observer. Without treatment it is unlikely Sirgefeo will survive the week.
  3. We will not name this home village or town, it is the one which ﬁts most conveniently into your current series.
  � SIRGEFEO �
  “Cough, wheeze, Yes, my health
  is not what it was. Cough”
  Ratings: Persuade (Charming) 8,
  Rebuff (Pure-hearted)12,
  Attack(Cunning)2, Defense
  (Misdirection) 4.
  Resistances: none�
  � CORHA �
  Ratings: Persuade (Forthright) 4,
  Rebuff (Lawyerly) 9, Attack
  (Caution) 6, Defense (Dodge) 3.
  Resistances: none
  
  be the brother of Sirgefeo, and an expert forger and metal smith. 
  Naturally, when the characters arrive at Octorus, they learn that Sirgefeo has sold similar amulets and
  documents to ﬁve other people. Each amulet is identical, probably cast in the same mold, and each document is
  such a masterful copy of the original that it is impossible to distinguish the genuine article. The good news for
  the characters is that there really is a collection of valuables to be distributed. The Magistrate of the town must
  decide who is the rightful heir, and being a wise and learned gentleman steeped in the very spirit of justice, he
  will no doubt side with the characters.
  On the other hand, if they investigate at all, the characters may quickly learn of rumors that the Magistrate is
  known for his weakness for ﬁne wine and gourmet cuisine. They may very likely also hear tales of how other
  cases were decided in the favor of certain litigants who plied the man with expensive meals at his favorite
  restaurant, the Immaculate Oyster. Perhaps out of mere intellectual curiosity, the characters may inquire at this
  renowned establishment. When they arrive, they will ﬁnd themselves in a queue behind several of the other
  petitioners, who greet them with suspicious derision. The entire group will soon learn that the restaurants ﬁnest
  table has already been reserved for the one missing petitioner and the Magistrate. The other four petitioners
  will immediately cry foul, but that petitioner, a certain Kilash, will emerge from the restaurant, and suavely
  explain that he is merely taking a perfectly legal and reasonable opportunity to argue his case. Certainly
  nobody in this group would dare imply that a Magistrate of this stature, and a reﬁned gentleman to boot,
  would be capable of being swayed by a mere meal, no matter how fancy? The only choice remaining is for the
  other petitioners, (and one hopes, the characters) to insist on joining the dinner so that they, too, can have a
  chance to argue their case. The Immaculate Oyster is a stout, stately building of wood and timber, with glass
  windows and a steep roof of seven gables, situated on a better part of the harbor front. Inside, there are two
  main dining areas facing an enormous 70-paned glass window overlooking the harbor. There is a third special
  dining platform raised some ﬁve feet above the ﬂoor and cordoned off with velvet ropes, featuring a vast oak
  table of ancient vintage. This is where the Magistrate usually prefers to take his meals. Dinner will commence
  at nightfall, and each petitioner will soon realize that they must purchase ever more expensive desserts, food
  items, wines and other delights for the delectation of the Magistrate. This in fact seems to be the only way to
  get his attention. Each attempt at Persuasion must commence with an offer for him to try this or that dish, then
  � Cozener’s Expedients �
  137
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  
  continue on to a subtle and well-reasoned argument in favor of the speaker’s rights as heirs to Cakamue.
  Characters may then attempt to Persuade the Magistrate, but he will prove remarkably adept at Rebuttal. The
  owner of the Immaculate Oyster, proprietor Jaffo, senses the nature of what is taking place and does his best to
  reap a suitable harvest of terces at the expense of the petitioners. Before each of the seven courses (see ‘The
  Menu’ below), Jaffo will recite the details of several house specials, each of which cost roughly double the
  normal considerable price for each dish. 
  As the night goes on and the wine continues to ﬂow, the resolve of the Magistrate will slowly begin to melt
  under the pressure of the constant arguments of the various petitioners, not to mention the mellowing effects of
  the food and drink. This happens slowly, because the Magistrate has a prodigious appetite verging on the
  superhuman, matched by an equally remarkable thirst, as well as a great resistance to the debilitating effects of
  alcohol. It will take many goblets of wine and trays of sweetmeats before the will of this man is broken upon
  the wheel of excess, but it is clear that it will happen eventually. The characters must attempt to Persuade the
  Magistrate of their cause, but he will be aided in his resistance to their argument by the eloquent refutations
  and dismissals of the other rival petitioners. One petitioner (usually whichever one, if any, trumps the
  characters Persuasion style) will make a counter-argument refuting each of the characters’ claims. The
  characters, in turn, may attempt to counter the various spurious arguments put forth by the other petitioners,
  or even perhaps by the other characters if they are not acting as a group. The entire time, anyone who does not
  maintain decorum will be evicted from the dinner table and summarily placed under arrest by the suddenly
  irascible Magistrate, who is accompanied by two of his stalwart bailiffs.
  � Cozener’s Expedients �
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  138
  �������������������
  � Gaming the meal �
  Only one character is a Petitioner, so other PCs can be given reasonable sums of money (similar to that
  which their comrade has available to him) and can adopt the personas of the other petitioners. Each
  petitioner wants to be the one who succeeds in convincing the Magistrate that they are the heir. To do
  this, one must be the ﬁrst to achieve an Illustrious Success using Persuade, when the Magistrate’s pool
  has been reduced to zero. 
  As each course is served each petitioner must offer one of the options on the menu. Not every petitioner
  need offer an option at every course, and then there is the wine to go with each course as well. The
  magistrate will choose the two most expensive options. The petitioner whose option was the most
  expensive may attempt to Persuade the magistrate, but will be Rebuffed not by the magistrate but by the
  petitioner who offered the second most expensive option. Only if the ﬁrst petitioner succeeds in
  achieving a Persuade Success against the second petitioner may he then try to Persuade the Magistrate.
  This is done with a Limit of 0. If this fails to achieve the end result desired, then the two characters who
  purchased the wine may attempt their Persuade/Rebuff contest.
  This process continues until the Magistrate is Persuaded or all characters have no money left. In the
  latter case the Magistrate states that matters are complex and he shall return the following evening to
  consider things further.
  �������������������
  
  � Cozener’s Expedients �
  139
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  “The Magistrate is known for
  his weakness for ﬁne wine and
  gourmet cuisine…”
  � MAGISTRATE HIVIACAN �
  Ratings: Persuade (Intimidating) 8, Rebuff (Lawyerly) 12, Attack
  (Ferocity) 8, Defense (Intuition) 8, Health 6.
  Resistances: none
  �
  � THE TWO BAILIFFS �
  Ratings: Persuade (Forthright) 4, Rebuff (Contrary) 8, Attack
  (Strength) (Knout4) 9, Defense (Sure-Footedness) 9, Health 4, Athletics
  3.
  �
  � JAFFO THE VIANDER �
  Ratings: Persuade (Glib) 9, Rebuff (Lawyerly) 8, Attack (Speed) 3,
  Defense (Vexation) 4, Health 3. �
  � PETITIONER NIOLO �
  Ratings: Persuade (Glib) 8, Rebuff (Wary) 7, Attack (Cunning) (Knife)
  6, Defense (Intuition) 6, Health 3. �
  � PETITIONER KILASH �
  Ratings: Persuade (Eloquent) 7, Rebuff (Lawyerly) 7, Attack (Finesse)
  (Rapier) 9, Defense (Dodge) 8, Health 4. 
  �
  � PETITIONER NOUTH �
  Ratings: Persuade (Obfuscatory) 8, Rebuff (Obtuse) 9, Attack
  (Ferocity) (Cane) 5, Defense (Intuition) 7, Health 2.
  �
  � PETITIONER QAV �
  Ratings: Persuade (Intimidating) 6, Rebuff (Contrary) 10. Attack
  (Strength) (Sword) 10, Defense (Parry) 12, Health 5.
  �
  � PETITIONER BEVASIA �
  Ratings: Persuade (Charming) 8, Rebuff (Penetrating) 8, Attack
  (Speed) (Rapier) 14, Defense (Parry) 11, Health 3.
  4. A Knout is a short length of stout, knotted rope favored by Bailiffs wishing to bring a point home with vigor.
  Found, on the beach below
  Odkin Prospect: a silver anklet
  set with cabochons and with
  rose quartz inlay. Worked with
  complex chronogram on
  banderol, bears intertwined
  letters KP and H.
  Apply Shorecombers guild, Kaiin
  
  � The Menu �
  Pre-Appetizers
  Yellow fremise melon and prickly pear fruit served with tart white wine 
  1 terce
  Shevanil halves served with dandelion wine 
  1 terce
  Toasted nectar ants with blue cheese and kelp crackers, served with hard pear cider 2 terces
  Appetizers
  SHARK PUP broiled in its own “mermaids purse” on cold sautéed sea anemone salad
  3 terces
  Sugared SEAL NOSE with candied zasp and hot mulberry liquor
  4 terces
  BLUE OCTOPUS simmered in its ink, then steamed for two heartbeats in lavender oil mist
  served with tart bitterwort chutney
  5 terces
  Broiled prawns in creamed conch sauce
  5 terces
  Live soft-shelled mantis shrimp served with burning horseradish sauce
  7 terces
  Salads
  Hot golden river peppers, chilled jellyﬁsh pulp, and spiced sea urchin eggs over a bed 
  of pickled kelp and tossed brine lettuce
  1 terce
  Watercress and shallots garnished with slices of mud-eel skins baked in lemon juice,
  then blanched for three heartbeats in boiling rose petal dew
  2 terces
  Sweet clover and pickled ramps served with sunﬂower seed bread and larks tongues 
  marinated overnight in a delicate sea cucumber wine sauce
  3 terces
  Soups
  Shark tripe soup with kelp crackers
  5 terces
  Sea sponge milt garnished with crab eyes
  7 terces
  Wrasse nest soup with saffron butter
  11 terces
  Entrees
  Broiled HORSESHOE CRAB viscera with sliced almonds and creamy barnacle chutney
  10 terces
  Pickled BLOWFISH5 in ramp sauce with blue onions and sharp horseradish sauce
  11 terces
  SEA BEAR steak with rosemary and tart lemon grass, served with roasted yams 
  and boiled ramps
  15 terces
  Braised SEA OTTER tongues with ginger over a bed of sliced baby yams 
  sautéed in seal blubber, slathered with a yellow saffron lemon butter sauce 
  and garnished with a touch of tart lime sauce
  25terces
  � Cozener’s Expedients �
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  140
  5. Blowﬁsh are, of course, lethal when ingested for the most part. The management of the Immaculate Oyster will not assume or
  take responsibility for the health of those who order this dish: those who wish to do so consume it at their own risk.
  
  � Cozener’s Expedients �
  141
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  Savouries 
  Salted glass eels
  4 terces
  Seal ﬂipper pie
  4 terces
  Roasted Pelican bill stuffed with herrings in sweet nectar liquor
  8 terces
  � Wines
  5 �
  All wines served by the bottle unless otherwise noted
  White
  MADAME GLAFEIG’S A jug of honest white wine from a local house
  5 terces
  JEIDAT’S SEA-SLOPE FRESH A delicate local wine, dry and a little tart
  6 terces
  GLAFEIG’S MELANTINE SPUME A foaming wine for festive celebration
  9 terces
  LUIT FATFINGER’S DERNA YELLOW A rich yet dry wine of Kaiin
  10 terces
  CARTHOS ESTATE SFERE GREEN The most reﬁned of dry white wines
  12 terces
  LUIT FATFINGER’S DERNA GOLD A rich, sweet wine of Kaiin. Truly glorious
  15 terces
  CARTHOS ESTATE SFERE GREEN SUPERIOR A classic of reﬁnement
  15 terces
  HOUSE OF JOLIFORM LOW SCAR SLOPE GOLDEN PORPHIRON Nectar of the Gods
  35 terces
  HOUSE OF JOLIFORM YOLPIT HEART GOLDEN PORPHIRON The quintessence
  120 terces
  Red
  MASTER GLAFEIG’S A jug of plain, good red from a local house
  4 terces
  FER AQUILA BLUSHING ROSE A pale red of great delicacy
  5 terces
  THE RUBY OF VAL OMBRIO Rich and strong, from far Almery
  8 terces
  SEA-DARK RED OF SANREALE A red wine both rich and subtle
  10 terces
  HOUSE OF JOLIFORM VILIYAT ORDINARY A reﬂection of great Tanvilkat
  15 terces
  PURPLE IMAGO A strong desert wine from distant Ampeiter
  17 terces
  HOUSE OF JOLIFORM “TWENTY TOMBS” TANVILKAT Sublime nobility
  50 terces
  HOUSE OF JOLIFORM “THE BROTHERS TANVILKAT” Unsurpassed excellence
  150 terces
  To complete your repast may we suggest…a glass of...
  Aged Rum
  2 terces
  Fine port
  3 terces
  Brandy
  4 terces
  Ancient Brandy6
  15 terces
  5. It could well be that several of these, red or white, may be fake. Indeed, there is likely to be an inverse correlation between cost
  and authenticity. We know, for instance, that “The Brothers” belong to Grashpotel. Anybody wishing to comment on wines should
  read Grashpotel’s articles ﬁrst. Anyone quoting from Grashpotel gains a boon to their Rebuff should they attempt to ridicule the
  choice of wine.
  6. In Octorus it is traditional to drink strong spirits after dinner. During the meal a selection of appropriate wines will be served.
  
  The Inheritance
  The inheritance consists of 1,000 terces, 4 minor magic artifacts, and a small library of ﬁve Tomes in which can
  be found four simple and two complex spells. It is locked in a strongbox at the Magistrate’s ofﬁce. 
  Magic Items
  � Krasdyke’s Horn
  5 points, Permanent 
  This is a tiny silver horn which, when spoken into, can convey a message of up to thirty words directly
  (and discreetly) into the ear of the last person who touched the horn with their left thumb. The person
  receiving the message hears it as a shrill hectoring voice that imposes a levy 2 on any attempt to use the
  horn to Persuade.
  � The Analytical Tablet
  4 points, Permanent
  A small slate tablet. When it is laid upon surface or object, the user will see the chief physical components
  of that substance inscribed in 17th Aeon hieroglyphs on the tablet. Anyone with Pedantry 10 or Magic 10
  will automatically be able to read the hieroglyphs; anyone else must achieve a Pedantry Success, but once
  this is achieved, they can always read the tablets without further rolling of dice. 
  � The Mask of Sabeevo
  10 points, Permanent
  A delicate birch-bark mask, which allows the
  wearer to command the loyalty of one woodland
  beast for every point spent out of the wearer’s
  Persuade pool. (These points are refreshed
  normally.) The mask only works during the hours
  of darkness and the effect lasts until sunrise.7 
  � The Adroit Chisel of Calla Fau 
  10 points, Charged
  When used, this chisel allows the user to shape
  the hardest stone as easily as if it was soft as
  cheese8 with the skill of a Master Mason. It will
  do this for three hours and then must be
  recharged. This can be done by transferring 1
  point from the users Craftsmanship, Quick
  Fingers or Athletics pools. This happens when the
  user sleeps with the chisel, in its erb hide sheath,
  under his pillow. The transfer takes place at
  dawn, which means that the user’s Pool is not
  refreshed by the nights repose. 
  � Cozener’s Expedients �
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  142
  Petitioners lacking gastronomic expertise have been
  known to employ professional epicureans to ensure
  no undesirable ﬂavors are present to inﬂuence the
  magistrate’s judgement.
  7. Assuming always that the sun does rise.
  8. Or any other dairy product of the reader’s choice, provided it is relatively soft and easy to cut with a knife.
  
  The Tomes9
  � Broonfond, Enchantments of the Northern Latitudes
  A comprehensive account by a respected author whose sad death a mere century ago left us at the mercy of
  semi-literates of negligible scholarship and less style.
  � Casfagcas, Potions and Charms suitable for the Particularly Jaded
  The classic 20th aeon work by a well respected eroticist known for his knowledge of love potions and
  charms.
  � Dosinan, Sleights of Magic
  The classic early 21st Aeon tome which is sometimes known as “The Tricksters Bible” 
  � Stafdyke, A Survey of all the Aeons
  The classic text. 
  � Vydorsk, Miscegenation, The Underworld, And You
  Considered by some to be overly sensational but still a well researched and well-respected work. 
  �
  A Corsair Maid
  This episode may well be part of “Sirgefeo’s Legacy” or can be ﬁtted into any other suitable occasion.
  Your meal, excellent though it is, is disrupted by interminable inquiries from the waitress, a comely young lass
  named Lakne. Though apparently well meaning, she will continually interrupt conversation with banal
  questions (“Are you done with that, sir?” “Are you sure you would not like more pepper, your Greatness?”
  “May I ﬁll your wine glass, sir?” “Get you another napkin, your Lordship?”) as well as accidents, mistakes,
  and clumsy corrections of them. Lakne will spill wine on the characters, drop plates, mix up orders, and returns
  several times to be reminded of requests for various items. Lakne receives considerable abuse and chastisement
  from the proprietor for each of her clumsy mistakes, but she seems to endure it all with a quiet, humble dignity.
  The proprietor apologizes, confesses his utter exasperation, and explains that she was only hired a week ago
  and will be replaced, beaten, tarred, and feathered and driven out of town, as soon as another waitress can be
  found. About midway through the meal, the characters will notice a certain hubbub has developed among
  patrons and staff gathered near the great window of the restaurant, which overlooks the waterfront and
  provides a spectacular view. Everyone is commenting with interest, admiration, and a certain degree of awe
  upon the appearance of a large, sleek black merchant sloop, which has just entered the harbor. When the town
  constable marches by hailing “All is well”, the sign that the hour of midnight has arrived, the characters may
  � Cozener’s Expedients �
  143
  Volume 1, Issue 4 & 5
  9. The GM is invited to select 4 simple and 2 complex spells that she thinks will be pertinent to the characters and apportion them to
  the work she thinks most appropriate.
  Are you a person of DISCERNING tastes? Do you or a loved one SUFFER from a DISEASE 
  that no mendicant or healer has been able to cure? If so, we have the CURE for you!!
  The PELOTHERAPY SPA has a well-deserved reputation for treating all manner of so-called incurable
  diseases. Repeated applications  of our unique treatment methods under the carefully minstering
  gaze of our attendants have alleviated the suffering and malicious symptoms of many diseases.
  So come to the PELOTHERAPY SPA, located in scenic Jurisimei, and avail yourself or your loved ones
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  again notice a commotion at the window. There seems to be a disturbance
  at the docks. The Black Freighter has pulled up to the quay and hoisted
  what appears to be an all-black ﬂag on its mast. Several of the crew,
  abnormally large fellows by the look of them, seem to have disembarked,
  and appear to be participating in some sort of riot. Soon the characters
  hear people begin to utter words like “pirates”, “freebooters”, and
  “raiders”. The mood becomes panicky. Anyone taking a look at Lakne
  will notice that she is peering out the window smiling with a contented air
  about her, and standing a bit straighter. She ties a black ribbon in her hair
  and departs for her room where she will retrieve her rapier and prepare
  for the imminent arrival of her crew. 
  Lakne is, in fact, a minor sorceress and a pirate captain in command of a
  formidable pirate ship. What happens next is largely dependent on how
  the characters treated Lakne during the meal. If they were cruel and
  arrogant, they will soon very likely be running for their lives. If they were
  very sympathetic or kind, they may ﬁnd her willing to allow them to share
  in the looting and pillaging of the town. Indeed if any made a romantic
  assignation for later, Lakne may well take them along with her as a
  plaything to wile away the long hours at sea.
  �
  � Cozener’s Expedients �
  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY
  144
  � LAKNE THE PIRATE �
  “Have him washed and shaved
  and taken to my cabin.”
  Ratings: Persuade (Charming)
  10, Rebuff (Pure Hearted) 11,
  Attack (Finesse) (Rapier) 12,
  Defense (Dodge) 10, Health 3,
  Athletics 5, Seduction 4,
  Stewardship 8, Wealth 6.
  Resistances: none�
  � PIRATE CREW �
  “A Harrr, slice ‘im with yer
  goosing ‘ook.” 
  Ratings: Persuade (Forthright) 6,
  Rebuff (Wary) 6, Attack (Speed)
  8, Defense (Dodge) 9, Health 4. 
  Resistances: none
  THE MUNIFICENT SOCIETY OF TRAVELERS
  For those whose life has consisted of naught but the lonely road with never 
  a consistently rosy hearth to warm yourself by, 
  then have no fear for there is hope!
  If such paths no longer draw you on, good friend, and your feet long to feel the embers’ warmth, then
  join us at the Muniﬁcent Society of Travelers. All of our profession are welcome on a residential or
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  volunteers to aid us in our charitable works. Applications in person to be made at any of our
  branches in Kaiin, Azenomei, Port Perdusz, Kaspara Vitatus and Erze Damath.
  The society is currently seeking a person or persons to ﬁnd and recover several items recently
  removed for cleaning from the societies rooms in Azenomei. A calix of intricate workmanship,
  believed to be 18th aeon, a rhyton carved from a single bulls horn, a toast rack in the form of a
  ridgeling hoon, and three knives with hilts of amethyst.
  
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  To Ascolais, the Falling Wall and Beyond!
  Once the heart of the reach of Grand Motholam, 
  the Land of the Falling Wall and Ascolais are now 
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  This double issue of The Excellent Prismatic Spray
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  While waiting for Time’s death rattle, why not…
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  and decorum of ruinous Lumarth
  � Lose yourself (or your pursuers) in Forrell’s Port, 
  gateway to Sousenene
  � Cross the Plain of Standing Stones
  � Hide from your enemies in cosmopolitan Efred, City of Sanctuary
  � Tangle with mermelants in Aldusfeld Village
  � Interfere with cranes in White-Walled Kaiin
  � Or take the opportunity to hunt mutroons and social status in the Great Da Forest
  Ascolais & the Land of the Falling Wall features adventures, recipes, ghosts, ships,
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  � 
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  THE EXCELLENT PRISMATIC SPRAY, Volumes 4 & 5  
  Double the supplement, twice the fun!
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  ☞
  ISBN 0 9539980 7 X
  Copyright ©2003 Pelgrane Press Ltd. Based on the Dying Earth book series by Jack Vance. Produced
  and distributed by agreement with Jack Vance c/o Ralph Vicinanza Ltd, New York. The Dying Earth
  Roleplaying Game, Dying Earth Quick-Start Rules and The Excellent Prismatic Spray are trademarks of
  Pelgrane Press. All rights reserved.
  
SOURCE: textdata/thevault/Dying Earth/PELXPS004 Ascolais and the Land of the Falling Wall [XPS4-5].pdf