TEXT: you​ ​must​ ​break​ ​up​ ​with​ ​your​ ​werewolf​ ​boyfriend 
   
  by​ ​caitlynn​ ​belle 
  (caitlynnbelle.com​ ​//​ ​caitlynnbelle.itch.io) 
   
  it’s​ ​time​ ​to​ ​end​ ​your​ ​relationship​ ​with​ ​your​ ​werewolf​ ​boyfriend.​ ​why? 
   
  -
  too​ ​clingy 
  -
  not​ ​responsible​ ​enough 
  -
  wanted​ ​by​ ​the​ ​wizard​ ​police,​ ​and​ ​you​ ​just​ ​can’t​ ​deal​ ​with​ ​that​ ​right​ ​now 
  -
  bad​ ​argument 
  -
  too​ ​many​ ​wolf​ ​puns 
  -
  didn’t​ ​know​ ​he​ ​was​ ​lycan​ ​before​ ​relationship​ ​started 
  -
  insulted​ ​all​ ​your​ ​favorite​ ​things 
  -
  pees​ ​all​ ​over​ ​the​ ​house​ ​instead​ ​of​ ​the​ ​bathroom,​ ​and​ ​it’s​ ​like,​ ​come​ ​on​ ​dude,​ ​you’re​ ​27 
  -
  too​ ​many​ ​murders 
  -
  (something​ ​else,​ ​your​ ​choice) 
   
  even​ ​if​ ​there’s​ ​some​ ​murder,​ ​it’s​ ​cool,​ ​don’t​ ​worry.​ ​you’re​ ​safe​ ​-​ ​you​ ​can​ ​break​ ​his​ ​heart​ ​and 
  nothing​ ​bad​ ​will​ ​happen,​ ​except​ ​maybe​ ​you​ ​won’t​ ​get​ ​some​ ​of​ ​your​ ​stuff​ ​back. 
   
  to​ ​play,​ ​find​ ​a​ ​dog​ ​you​ ​own​ ​(or​ ​someone​ ​else’s​ ​friendly​ ​dog)​ ​and​ ​pretend​ ​they​ ​are​ ​the​ ​werewolf. 
  have​ ​a​ ​heated​ ​discussion​ ​about​ ​the​ ​way​ ​your​ ​relationship​ ​is​ ​going​ ​and​ ​why​ ​things​ ​have​ ​to​ ​end. 
  incorporate​ ​the​ ​dog’s​ ​responses,​ ​if​ ​any,​ ​into​ ​your​ ​ongoing​ ​narration,​ ​characterizing​ ​your 
  werewolf​ ​boyfriend​ ​through​ ​the​ ​actions​ ​and​ ​sounds​ ​the​ ​dog​ ​takes. 
   
  if​ ​the​ ​dog​ ​does​ ​any​ ​of​ ​the​ ​following,​ ​cross​ ​it​ ​off​ ​the​ ​list: 
  -
  barks 
  -
  howls​ ​or​ ​whines 
  -
  tries​ ​to​ ​play 
  -
  gives​ ​you​ ​an​ ​annoyed​ ​look​ ​or​ ​a​ ​sad​ ​look 
  -
  wags​ ​its​ ​tail 
  -
  smiles​ ​real​ ​doofy 
  -
  rolls​ ​over 
  -
  sits 
   
  if​ ​you​ ​can​ ​cross​ ​off​ ​four​ ​or​ ​more​ ​before​ ​the​ ​argument​ ​ends,​ ​everything​ ​ends​ ​up​ ​well​ ​and​ ​the​ ​split 
  is​ ​amicable.​ ​otherwise,​ ​it’s​ ​a​ ​messy​ ​affair. 
   
  if​ ​the​ ​dog​ ​walks​ ​away​ ​before​ ​you’re​ ​done​ ​-​ ​well,​ ​he’s​ ​said​ ​his​ ​piece. 
   
  it’s​ ​possible​ ​the​ ​dog​ ​you​ ​are​ ​playing​ ​with​ ​isn’t​ ​male:​ ​that’s​ ​fine!​ ​just​ ​like​ ​humans,​ ​dogs​ ​can​ ​play 
  characters​ ​of​ ​any​ ​gender​ ​or​ ​sexuality. 
  
   
  after​ ​breaking​ ​up​ ​with​ ​your​ ​werewolf​ ​boyfriend,​ ​end​ ​the​ ​game​ ​and​ ​give​ ​the​ ​dog​ ​a​ ​treat.​ ​this 
  breakup​ ​was​ ​hard​ ​on​ ​them,​ ​too. 
   
   
  
SOURCE: textdata/thevault/Collections/LARP [multi]/You Must Break Up With Your Werewolf Boyfriend.pdf