TEXT: BY MICHAEL TRESCA
  FOR MY DAD, A TRUE ZOMBIE.
  From Michael: I’d like to thank Shane O’Connor for his 
  original critique of the ﬁrst version of this document.
  Visit our Website:
  www.RPGObjects.com
  COVER ART 
  JEREMY SIMMONS
  INTERIOR ART
  JOHN LONGENBAUGH 
  LAYOUT
  CHRIS DAVIS
  EDITING
  ANDY RAU
  Requires the use of the d20 Modern Roleplaying Game and the Urban Arcana Campaign Setting, 
  published by Wizards of the Coast, Inc
  The ‘d20 System’ and the ‘d20 System’ logo are Trademarks owned by Wizards of the Coast and are 
  used according to the terms of the d20 System License version 1.0a. A copy of this License can be 
  found at www.wizards.com. 
  “d20 Modern, Dungeons & Dragons, and Wizards of the Coast are trademarks of Wizards of the Coast, 
  Inc. in the United States and other countries and are used with permission.
  Copyright 2004 © RPG Objects.  All rights Reserved.
  Visit our web site at www.RPGObjects.com.
  BLOOD AND BRAINS: 
  THE ZOMBIE HUNTER’S GUIDE
  
  2 of 67
  INTRODUCTION
  So you want to hunt zombies, eh?
  Zombie hunting is a bit different than other 
  types of hunting.  Nobody complains if you kill 
  (or perhaps that’s “re-kill”) a zombie.  Nobody 
  likes zombies.  Not even other zombies.
  Perhaps it’s that zombies ate someone you 
  like.  That’s fair, we can understand.  Killing 
  zombies is deﬁnitely a noble task.  Unless, of 
  course, someone you like has become a zombie. 
  Then there’s a lot of crying and weeping and angst before 
  you blow its head off.  
  Or maybe it’s that you’re really bored and want to shoot 
  people without getting arrested.  Zombies are about as close 
  to moving targets as you can get.  Just make sure everyone 
  knows that it’s a zombie’s brains you just spattered across 
  your backyard fence.  
  Or maybe the world just went down the crapper and you’re 
  the last person alive.  May as well take out a few zombies on 
  the way down, right?
  The Zombie Hunter’s Guide is a rules supplement for d20 
  games.  For more information on the d20 system, see Section 
  15 of the Open Gaming License.  Our professionals at the 
  National Center for Reanimation Prevention and Control 
  (NCRPC) have done all the hard work so you don’t have 
  to—chopping, hacking, chainsawing, and blasting the bloody 
  gibbets off of the shambling undead, all to make your life a 
  little easier.  If you’ve got a case of the zombie blues, this 
  book’s the cure.
  WHAT THE HELL IS IT?
  What is a zombie, precisely?
  Short answer: dead people who don’t stay dead.
  But that answer could encompass vampires, ghouls, 
  ghosts, and a lot of other things, so let’s dig a little deeper, 
  shall we?
  The dictionary has several deﬁnitions of the word 
  “zombie”: 
  Zombie (ZOM-bee): 1. A snake god of voodoo cults 
  in West Africa, Haiti, and the southern United States. 2. A 
  supernatural power or spell that according to voodoo belief 
  can enter into and reanimate a corpse. 3. One who looks or 
  behaves like an automaton. 4. A tall mixed drink made of 
  various rums, liqueur, and fruit juice.
  Tales from Reality… One Man’s Encounter with 
  Zombie Deﬁnition #4
  A sailor,* while on shore leave somewhere in Latin 
  America, decided to prove to his buddies just how 
  tough he really was.  They went to the local bar, where 
  he promptly downed not one, not two, but THREE 
  ZOMBIES in a span of a few minutes.  
  “See?” He said triumphantly.  “No problem at all.”
  His friends were amazed.  The conversation continued 
  while the sailor sat there, his palm propping up his face.  
  Eventually, the other sailors noticed that their 
  drinking buddy hadn’t said anything in a while.
  “You okay?” one of them asked.
  When the sailor attempted to speak, his tongue 
  dangled from his mouth like a worm on a ﬁshhook.  
  He sputtered “ThHBBHTHHTHTH” and promptly 
  collapsed onto the ﬂoor.
  One hospital trip later, the sailor understood that 
  liquid zombies are the most dangerous zombies of all.
  *Any resemblance to family members of the author is 
  most assuredly due to a zombie conspiracy.
  “Zombie” is possibly derived from a Caribbean French 
  and English Creole word, “zumbi,” which refers to a ghost or 
  departed spirit. That word in turn has its roots in the Congo 
  word “nzambi,” which also means “spirit of a dead person.” 
  The word “zombie” came into use by 1830 and was used 
  in the vernacular by 1929, after the publication of William B. 
  Seabrook’s The Magic Island.  Or maybe a wave of zombies 
  descended upon the Earth at about that time, making the 
  term much more common. 
  Zombies ﬁrst appeared in 1920s media as typical voodoo 
  undead.  They didn’t spread their condition, they didn’t 
  moan or stumble around, and for the most part they pretty 
  much did what they were told.  In essence, they could have 
  been standard onscreen thugs, except for the fact that early 
  movie zombies usually had glazed looks on their faces.  At 
  this stage, zombies weren’t really dead so much as dazed.
  In the 1950s, everything changed.  Zombies were no 
  longer mindless and drugged-up natives from a foreign land. 
  The enemy was us—corporate zombies in suits and ties.  
  Recently discovered nuclear technology became the new 
  excuse for zombies. Zombies were not contagious, but they 
  were powered by strange and unique power sources: atomic 
  energy, mad scientists, and aliens.
  In the 70s, zombies began to take on the modern 
  characteristics we know and hate.  It was only then that 
  zombies began to show signs of rot (TV censorship will do 
  that to you).  Now they were truly the living dead.  
  With their new attributes came one vulnerability and one 
  horrible side effect.  As everyone knows, piercing a zombie’s 
  brain supposedly kills it.
  Let us, the zombie hunting experts, go on record stating 
  that this is not always true.  Sometimes, a zombie hunter hits 
  a zombie in the head so hard that it goes down—but then, 
  if you hit anything hard enough (like, say, with a bazooka), 
  it will stop moving.  Sometimes, zombies like to pretend 
  they’re dead… and then get back up.  And sometimes it 
  really is true (see the blue zombie in the Monsters chapter).  
  Zombie hunters who assume things about the undead make a 
  zombie “ass” out of “u” and… oh forget it, you get the idea.
  This one, rare zombie vulnerability came at a terrible 
  price.  Fear about sexually transmitted diseases in the 80s 
  carried over to zombie infestations.  Not only might a 
  zombie eat you, it could “get zombie on you.”
  With the number of zombies in the world, and the amount 
  
  of communicable diseases you can catch from playing 
  with corpses as well as other human beings, it’s not hard to 
  understand why nobody likes zombies.  
  WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?
  You are the last hope of mankind.  
  Only you know just how fragile the borders between our 
  reality and hell are.  Only you know the sort of thing that 
  lurks in the dark.  And only you are mad enough to level a 
  shotgun at said monstrosity and blow its screeching head off.
  If you’re fond of doing this sort of thing, you’re probably 
  more than a little crazy. After looking into the pulsating, 
  pustule-ridden heart of evil, how can anyone stay sane?  
  And yet zombie hunters battle on.  Insanity is common—
  zombie hunters are likely to be pushed to the brink of 
  madness just by dealing with the forces of evil.  Then they 
  fall off the edge, smash into the bottom of the gorge, and the 
  cliff falls on top of them.  And they still keep ﬁghting.
  For all their eccentricities, zombie hunters are just normal 
  Joes. They make bad decisions, run screaming in the face of 
  Ultimate Evil, and get cocky when loaded down with a lot of 
  ﬁrepower.  Zombie hunters don’t always do the right thing, 
  don’t always cast the right spell, and sometimes miss the bad 
  guys even with carefully aimed shotgun blasts.  But they do 
  what they have to, because nobody else will.  
  If you’ve ever screamed, “Why don’t you get a gun and 
  SHOOT IT!” at the pathetic victims of any horror movie… 
  this is the game for you.
  WHERE THE HELL ARE WE?
  The Zombie Hunter’s Guide is a frenetic, action-packed 
  battle with the forces of the dead that never lets up.  A 
  zombie hunting campaign can be macabre and terrifying or 
  darkly comic. Zombies never give up—they keep coming 
  and coming and coming until somebody drops (and then 
  rises up again as another zombie).  
  Zombie hunting is disgusting.  These are zombies we’re 
  talking about.  Eyeballs ﬂy, guts spew, blood gushes, and 
  heads explode.  People get their eyes smashed in, hands 
  chopped off, and throats slashed.  Zombie hunting has a high 
  body count.
  But zombie hunting has another side. Zombie hunting 
  doesn’t always take itself too seriously.  How could anyone 
  take the living dead seriously when they moan, shufﬂe, 
  stumble, and bump into each other?
  The level of zombie threat varies depending on the kind of 
  campaign you’re playing.  There are four levels of zombie 
  encounters:
  Level One: This is the one-off zombie menace, often 
  featuring zombies who cannot transmit their undead 
  condition or who were recently animated from a local 
  graveyard.  In these situations, the undead rarely number 
  more than 20 or so zombies, usually less.  These kinds of 
  outbreaks are easily covered up by local ofﬁcials and are 
  manageable by citizens with the right tools.  If the zombies 
  are capable of transmitting their condition, it’s not long 
  before it becomes…
  Level Two: This is an outbreak in a populated area.  The 
  zombies can number up to 100 or more.  The incidence of 
  infection is generally high due to the density of the nearby 
  population. If the zombie plague strikes a rural area, it can be 
  quite a while before anyone with heavy ﬁrepower shows up.  
  Therefore, zombie hunters are advised to go on the defensive 
  rather than the offensive—the zombie population density 
  means that the infection rate is simply too high for anyone 
  without serious ﬁrepower to effectively stop.
  Level Three: By the time a zombie plague hits Level 
  Three, the world is beginning to go down the toilet.  The 
  zombie population has spread as far as it can; the infected 
  area can range from an entire city to a whole continent.  
  When zombie levels become this high, government ofﬁcials 
  and the military take notice.  And since zombies don’t 
  contribute (much) to any political coffers, said military and 
  government ofﬁcials react with extreme prejudice.  When 
  they’re not sending in tanks, ﬂamethrowers, or grenades, 
  they drop nuclear weapons to “clean out the infection.”  For 
  a zombie hunter on the same side as the military, it’s a wet 
  dream; for a zombie hunter who happens to be in the wrong 
  place at the wrong time… it’s a really bad place to be.
  Level Four: If the government wasn’t able to take out 
  the zombies at Level Three, this is what happens next: 
  All Zombies, All the Time!  At this point, humanity is 
  outnumbered; zombies rule the world.  For zombie hunters 
  with the technology, ﬂeeing into outer space is advisable.  
  For zombie hunters who can’t… save one bullet for yourself.
  
  4 of 67
  CHAPTER 1: CHARACTERS
  CHAPTER ONE: 
  CHARACTERS
  This chapter examines the backgrounds, classes 
  and occupations of those who would ﬁght 
  zombies—or if they’re unlucky, wind up as 
  zombies themselves.  Additionally, it details the 
  National Center for Reanimation Prevention and 
  Control (NCRPC), the code name for America’s 
  daring, highly trained special mission force. Its 
  purpose: to defend human freedom against ZOMBIE, an evil 
  organization determined...
  Oh wait, that’s somebody else.  NCRPC pretty much just 
  kills zombies and then covers it up.
  OCCUPATIONS
  BOY SCOUT
  Boy scouts are trained to survive in any situation.  Their 
  knowledge of mushrooms and how to use them in creative 
  ways makes for interesting den meetings.
  Prerequisite: Age 18-.
  Skills: Choose three of the following skills as permanent 
  class skills.  If a skill you select is already a class skill, you 
  receive a +1 competence bonus on checks using that skill.  
  Climb, Craft (pharmaceutical), Jump, Knowledge (earth and 
  life sciences), Navigate, Survival, Swim, Treat Injury.
  Bonus Feat: Select one of the following: Athletic, Guide, 
  or Medical Expert. 
  CHEERLEADER
  Cheerleaders are known for their good looks, loose morals, 
  and tight-ﬁtting clothes.  On the ﬁeld, they are known for 
  their acrobatics and the ability to shout phrases at the top 
  of their lungs.  In the bedroom, they are known for their 
  acrobatics and the ability to shout phrases at the top of their 
  lungs.  And oh yeah—cheerleaders are hot.
  Prerequisite: Age 18-, female.
  Skills: Choose one of the following skills as a permanent 
  class skill. If the skill the character selects is already a class 
  skill, she receives a +1 competence bonus on checks using 
  that skill.  Bluff, Craft (visual art), Diplomacy, Disguise, 
  Perform (act, dance, or sing).
  Reputation Bonus Increase: +2.
  JOCK
  Jocks are exceptionally good at one sport, and that’s about 
  it—unless you count abusing their girlfriends or having sex 
  as sports.  They have physical prowess in their favor, but as 
  everyone knows, that’s useless against zombies.
  Prerequisite: Age 18-, Strength 13 or Dexterity 13, male.
  Skills: Choose three of the following skills as permanent 
  class skills. If a skill the character selects is already a class 
  skill, he receives a +1 competence bonus on checks using 
  that skill.  Balance, Climb, Drive, Jump, Ride, Swim, 
  Tumble.
  Reputation Bonus Increase: +1.
  Bonus Feat: Athletic.
  MENTAL PATIENT
  Being a mental patient sucks.  It especially sucks when 
  nobody believes that a psychotic zombie in a hockey mask 
  was the real killer.  Even the other mental patients make fun 
  of you for your lack of originality.  Most mental patients 
  eventually escape, which explains their propensity for 
  criminal skills.  
  Prerequisite: Age 18-.
  Skills: Choose two of the following skills as permanent 
  class skills. If a skill the character selects is already a class 
  skill, he or she receives a +1 competence bonus on checks 
  using that skill.  Disable Device, Disguise, Forgery, Hide, 
  Knowledge (streetwise), Move Silently, Sleight of Hand.
  Bonus Feat: Select either Brawl or Stealthy.
  NCRPC EMPLOYEE
  National Center for Reanimation Prevention and Control 
  employees are survivalists; they know how to live on their 
  own in the worst conditions and are rarely fazed by much 
  of anything—not even the walking dead.  Each and every 
  NCRPC employee shares this attitude and conﬁdence; even 
  desk clerks are trained to employ the most extreme tactics 
  should a facility be overrun by zombies.
  Prerequisite: Age 18+.
  Skills: Choose two of the following skills as permanent 
  class skills. If a skill the character selects is already a 
  class skill, he or she receives a +1 competence bonus on 
  checks using that skill.  Computer Use, Demolitions, Drive, 
  Investigate, Knowledge (behavioral sciences, civics, earth 
  and life sciences, or streetwise), Navigate, Pilot, Research, 
  Survival.
  Bonus Feat: Select one of the following: Armor 
  Proﬁciency (light), Brawl, Combat Martial Arts, or Personal 
  Firearms Proﬁciency.
  Wealth Bonus Increase: +1.
  NERD
  Nerds are students who have difﬁculty ﬁtting in with 
  everyone else.  They also happen to be the most well-read 
  of zombie victims, which sometimes gives them an edge.  
  Sometimes. They are particularly fond of role-playing 
  games, which is like a homing beacon for zombies looking 
  to hack them up into little dice-sized pieces.  Hey, wait a 
  minute…
  Prerequisite: Age 18-.
  Skills: Choose three of the following skills as permanent 
  class skills. If a skill the character selects is already a class 
  skill, he or she receives a +1 competence bonus on checks 
  using that skill.  Computer Use, Craft (writing), Decipher 
  
  CHAPTER 1: CHARACTERS
  Script, Gather Information, Knowledge (arcane lore, art, 
  behavioral sciences, business, civics, current events, earth 
  and life sciences, history, physical sciences, popular culture, 
  tactics, technology, or theology and philosophy), Research, 
  or add a new Read/Write Language or a new Speak 
  Language.
  Bonus Feat: Studious.
  PREP
  Preps, or preppies, are rich.  They’re popular because they’re 
  the only ones who can afford the beer.  Preps make a point 
  of dressing in a way that indicates they have lots of money. 
  They’re usually quite obnoxious, which is why nobody feels 
  bad when zombies kill them. 
  Prerequisite: Age 18-.
  Skills: Choose one of the following skills as a permanent 
  class skill. If the skill the character selects is already a class 
  skill, he or she receives a +1 competence bonus on checks 
  using that skill. Gamble, Intimidate, Knowledge (current 
  events or popular culture), Ride, or add a new Speak 
  Language.
  Reputation Bonus Increase: +1.
  Wealth Bonus Increase: +3.
  SCREAM QUEEN
  Scream queens have it tough.  They are faithful to their 
  boyfriends, traumatized by the murder of family members, 
  and never quite ﬁt in despite their hot bodies and tight-ﬁtting 
  clothes.  Some horrible incident in their past has scarred 
  them for life but made them true survivors, capable of 
  withstanding even zombies (for at least one or two sequels, 
  anyway).
  Prerequisite: Age 18-, female, must have experienced 
  personal trauma.
  Skills: Choose one of the following skills as a permanent 
  class skill. If the skill the character selects is already a class 
  skill, she receives a +1 competence bonus on checks using 
  that skill.  Computer Use, Gather Information, Investigate, 
  Knowledge (streetwise), Research, Search, Sense Motive.
  Bonus Feats: Select either Iron Will or Run.
  STONER
  Stoners are dudes who know how to have a good time.  And 
  by that, we don’t mean sex; we mean the other good time: 
  overview
  The Center for Disease Control and Prevention 
  (CDC) is recognized as the leading federal 
  agency for protecting the health and safety of 
  citizens at home and abroad.  The CDC provides 
  reliable information to those making important 
  health decisions, and works tirelessly to promote 
  good health through strong partnerships. The 
  CDC serves as the national focus for developing 
  and applying disease prevention and control, 
  environmental health, and health promotion and 
  education activities designed to improve the 
  health of the people of the United States.
  The 12 centers, institutes, and ofﬁces of the 
  CDC are well known.  What is not common 
  knowledge is the existence of a 13th center—the 
  National Center for Reanimation Prevention and 
  Control (NCRPC).  The NCRPC prevents death 
  and reanimation caused by infectious diseases 
  in the United States and around the world. The 
  NCRPC is often referred to by its much easier-
  to-pronounce nickname, the Zombie Squad.
  To accomplish its goal, NCRPC staff 
  members work in partnership with other 
  federal agencies, with reanimation experts 
  from academic and clinical practices, 
  and with international and public service 
  organizations. They pursue their mission by 
  conducting surveillance, specialized training, 
  epidemic investigations, epidemiological and 
  laboratory research, and other clandestine 
  programs intended to develop, evaluate, and 
  promote prevention and control strategies for 
  reanimation.
  Uncontrolled reanimation has the ability 
  to destroy lives, strain community resources, 
  and even threaten nations. In today’s global 
  environment, reanimation contagions have the 
  potential to spread across the world in a matter 
  of days or even hours, making early detection 
  and action more important than ever. The 
  NCRPC plays a critical role in controlling these 
  reanimations, traveling at a moment’s notice to 
  investigate and suppress outbreaks abroad or at 
  home.
  motto
  The NCRPC motto is “First, Fast, and Final.”  
  core values
  The NCRPC strives for excellence in all 
  aspects of its control and prevention activities. 
  In pursuing this vision, the NCRPC and its 
  employees exemplify the following core values:
  • 
  Personal and organizational integrity
  • 
  Teamwork throughout the NCRPC and with 
  other government organizations
  • 
  Fast, effective response to all reanimation 
  outbreaks
   
  headquarters
  NCRPC Headquarters is currently located 
  in Holbrooklyn, NJ. The Special Agents and 
  support personnel who work at Headquarters 
  organize and coordinate NCRPC activities 
  around the world. Headquarters personnel 
  determine investigative priorities, oversee major 
  cases, and manage the organization’s resources, 
  technology, and personnel. Headquarters 
  also has a role in gathering and distributing 
  information. If a Special Agent in Detroit 
  has information that would help an Agent in 
  New York City solve a case, Headquarters is 
  responsible for making sure the information gets 
  from Detroit to New York. 
  Headquarters plays a key role in ﬁghting 
  reanimation outbreaks. It is the focal point 
  for intelligence not only from around the 
  United States, but from other countries as 
  well. Headquarters analyzes the intelligence 
  information it collects and sends it to ﬁeld 
  ofﬁces, state and municipal police departments, 
  and other federal agencies such as the 
  Department of Homeland Security. 
  international offices
  In addition to its ﬁeld ofﬁces across the United 
  States, the NCRPC has 45 ofﬁces known as 
  Legal Attachés or “Legats” located around 
  the world. Legats are the ﬁrst line of defense 
  outside U.S. borders. Their goal is simple—to 
  identify and stop reanimation outbreaks as far 
  from American shores as possible.
  To accomplish this goal, each Legat works 
  with law enforcement and security agencies in 
  their host country to coordinate investigations 
  of interest to both countries. Some Legats 
  are responsible for coordination with law 
  enforcement personnel in several countries in 
  the same geographic region. The purpose of 
  these Legats is strictly coordination; they do 
  not conduct foreign intelligence gathering or 
  counterintelligence investigations. The rules 
  for joint activities and information sharing are 
  generally spelled out in formal agreements 
  between the United States and the Legat’s host 
  country. A Special Agent in Charge located 
  at NCRPC Headquarters oversees the entire 
  worldwide Legat program.
  national center for reanimation prevention and control
  
  6 of 67
  CHAPTER 1: CHARACTERS
  drugs.  Be it pot or ecstasy or whatever kids take to get high 
  these days, stoners do it all.  They’re popular because they 
  bring the fun stuff to parties. Unfortunately, their favorite 
  hobby makes them useless in a crisis.  In their favor, stoners 
  rarely freak out when faced with the supernatural.  
  Prerequisite: Age 18-
  Skills: Choose one of the following skills as a permanent 
  class skill. If the skill the character selects is already a class 
  skill, he or she receives a +1 competence bonus on checks 
  using that skill.  Bluff, Knowledge (streetwise), Sleight of 
  Hand.
  Reputation Bonus Increase: +1.
  Y-MART EMPLOYEE
  Being a Y-Mart employee is something to be proud of.  Y-
  Mart produces some of the hardiest, most self-sufﬁcient 
  employees this side of your local hardware store.  
  Prerequisite: Age 18+.
  Skills: Choose three of the following skills as permanent 
  class skills.  If a skill you select is already a class skill, you 
  receive a +1 competence bonus on checks using that skill.  
  Craft (electronic, mechanical, or structural), Disable Device, 
  Drive, Repair.
  Bonus Feat: Select one of the following: Builder, 
  Cautious, or Hardware.
  ADVANCED CLASSES
  Despite the seemingly endless variety of zombie types 
  already at large, there’s always some crazy fool who wants 
  to create his very own zombie.  Some do it for power, some 
  do it for revenge, and some do it because they need to get 
  out more.  This section might also be called “Zombies and 
  the Men Who Love Them,” except for the Zombie Hunter 
  class, which most deﬁnitely does not love the undead.
  BOKOR 
  Bokors are spellcasters who have chosen to associate 
  themselves with Zombi, the ﬁendish Loa of serpents and the 
  undead.  These evil cultists give up advancement in their 
  former callings in exchange for the ability to gain complete 
  mastery over true zombies (although a few study arcane 
  magic instead of zombie lore).
  Requirements
  To qualify to become a Bokor, a character must fulﬁll the 
  following criteria.
  Allegiance: Evil.
  Skills: Knowledge (theology and philosophy) 6 ranks, 
  Listen 6 ranks, Sense Motive 6 ranks.
  Special: Must kill a loved one for the sole purpose of 
  animating that person as an Okokiyat zombie.
  Class Information
  The following information pertains to the 
  Bokor advanced class.
  Hit Die: 1d6.
  Action Points: 6 + one-half character level, 
  rounded down, every time the Bokor attains a 
  new level in this class.
  Class Skills
  The Bokor’s class skills (and the key ability 
  for each skill) are Bluff (Cha), Concentration 
  (Con), Craft (Int), Disguise (Cha), Intimidate (Cha), 
  Knowledge (all) (Int), Sense Motive (Wis), and Spellcraft 
  (Int).
  Skill Points at Each Level: 
  5 + Int modiﬁer.
  Class Features
  The following features pertain 
  to the Bokor advanced class.
  Weapon and Armor Proﬁciency: The 
  Bokor is not proﬁcient in any sort of weapon, 
  armor, or shield. 
  Spellcasting: A Bokor gains the ability to cast divine 
  spells.  To cast a spell, the Bokor must have a Wisdom score 
  of at least 10 + the spell’s level.  Bokor bonus spells are 
  based on Wisdom and saving throws against these spells 
  have a DC of 10 + spell level + Wisdom modiﬁer.  A 
  Bokor prepares and casts spells as a divine caster, though 
  the Bokor does not gain any of the other special abilities 
  
  CHAPTER 1: CHARACTERS
  of a divine caster.  Spells listed in italics are from  Arcana; 
  spells in bold italics are new spells (see the FX chapter for 
  more details).
  0-level Bokor Spells: Depression, Gloom, Inﬂict Minor 
  Wounds, Ray Of Clumsiness, Ray Of Weakness
  1st-level Bokor Spells: Bane, Cause Fear, Curse Water, 
  Deathwatch, Detect Zombie, Doom, Inﬂict Light Wounds
  2nd-level Bokor Spells: Curse Water, Create Okokiyat, 
  Darkness, Death Knell, Inﬂict Moderate Wounds 
  3rd-level Bokor Spells: Animate Dead, Bestow Curse, 
  Inﬂict Serious Wounds, Speak With Dead, Status, Toxicity
  4th-level Bokor Spells: Crawling Carpet, Death Ward, 
  Inﬂict Critical Wounds, Phantasmal Killer, Unholy Blight, 
  Via Negativa 
  5th-level Bokor Spells: Create Zombie, Inﬂict Light 
  Wounds (Mass), Insect Plague, Nightmare, Possess Zombie, 
  Slay Living, Zombie Blight
  Create Zombi: When casting animate dead, the 
  Bokor can choose to create Okokiyat zombies instead of 
  normal zombies.  The Bokor can also cast animate dead 
  spontaneously, trading any prepared spell or spell slot of 
  equivalent level or higher for it.
  Zombie Powder: At 2nd level, a Bokor can create zombie 
  powder, plague powder, or zombie cucumber at ½ the usual 
  XP cost and ½ the usual DC.  The Bokor must still meet the 
  prerequisites for creating the items.
  Rebuke Undead: At 3rd level, a Bokor gains the abilities 
  Rebuke Undead, Command Undead, Dispel Turning and 
  Bolster Undead as a divine caster of a level equal to two 
  less than his Bokor level.  If the Bokor already has these 
  abilities from another class, all relevant levels stack when 
  determining the effectiveness of this ability.
  Extra Domain: At 4th level and again at 7th level, a Bokor 
  gains access to a domain from the following list: Death, Evil, 
  Trickery.  If the Bokor already has access to one of these 
  domains, then he gains a new domain power and the ability 
  to choose domain spells from the new domain in addition to 
  the other domains he already knows.  If he does not already 
  have use of these domains, then he gains the listed domain 
  ability and the ability to substitute one domain spell for one 
  prepared spell or spell slot of the indicated level.
  Zombi Mastery: At 5th level, a Bokor can control up to 
  triple his level in Hit Dice of Okokiyat zombies or normal 
  zombies when casting animate dead or create okokiyat, 
  rather than only double his level.  At 10th level, this increases 
  to quadruple his level.
  Eyes of Zombi: At 6th level, the Bokor gains the 
  Blindsight ability with a range of 30 feet, allowing him to 
  sense others through the body heat they emit.  The Bokor 
  is unable to use the Blindsight to target any creature that 
  doesn’t radiate body heat (including most undead and 
  constructs and certain elementals).
  Scales of Zombi: At 8th level, the Bokor begins to take on 
  some of Zombi’s reptilian appearance.  The Bokor develops 
  scales that provide a +2 natural bonus to AC.  These scales 
  never cover the face or hands and can be hidden under 
  clothing.
  Fangs of Zombi: At 9th level, the Bokor develops 
  poisonous fangs.  These fangs can be folded back when not 
  in use and are not readily apparent.  The Bokor can deliver a 
  poisonous bite attack for 1d4 points of damage.  In addition, 
  the fangs deliver a poison that inﬂicts 1d6 points of primary 
  Strength damage and 1d6 points of secondary Strength 
  damage.  The DC for the Fortitude save is 15 + the Bokor’s 
  Constitution bonus.  This attack is subject to all the usual 
  rules affecting natural weaponry.
  TABLE 1-1: THE BOKOR
  Level
  Base Attack
  Bonus
  Fort
  Save
  Ref
  Save
  Will
  Save
  Special
  Defense
  Bonus
  Reputation
  Bonus
  1st
  +0
  +0
  +0
  +2
  Create Zombi
  +1
  +1
  2nd
  +1
  +0
  +0
  +3
  Zombie powder
  +1
  +1
  3rd
  +1
  +1
  +1
  +3
  Rebuke undead
  +2
  +1
  4th
  +2
  +1
  +1
  +4
  Extra domain
  +2
  +2
  5th
  +2
  +1
  +1
  +4
  Zombi mastery x3
  +3
  +2
  6th
  +3
  +2
  +2
  +5
  Eyes of Zombi
  +3
  +2
  7th
  +3
  +2
  +2
  +5
  Extra domain
  +4
  +3
  8th
  +4
  +2
  +2
  +6
  Scales of Zombi
  +4
  +3
  9th
  +4
  +3
  +3
  +6
  Fangs of Zombi
  +5
  +3
  10th
  +5
  +3
  +3
  +7
  Zombi mastery x4
  +5
  +4
  TABLE 1-2: BOKOR SPELLCASTING 
  Bokor Level
  Spells per Day by Spell Level
  0
  1
  2
  3
  4
  5
  1st
  3
  2
  —
  —
  —
  —
  2nd
  4
  3
  —
  —
  —
  —
  3rd
  4
  3
  2
  —
  —
  —
  4th
  5
  4
  3
  —
  —
  —
  5th
  5
  4
  3
  2
  —
  —
  6th
  5
  4
  4
  3
  —
  —
  7th
  6
  5
  4
  3
  2
  —
  8th
  6
  5
  4
  4
  3
  —
  9th
  6
  5
  5
  4
  3
  2
  10th
  6
  5
  5
  4
  4
  3
  TABLE 1-3: BOKOR BONUS SPELLS
  Wisdom
  Bonus Spells by Spell Level
  0
  1
  2
  3
  4
  5
  12–13
  —
  1
  —
  —
  —
  —
  14–15
  —
  1
  1
  —
  —
  —
  16–17
  —
  1
  1
  1
  —
  —
  18–19
  —
  1
  1
  1
  1
  —
  20–21
  —
  2
  1
  1
  1
  1
  22–23
  —
  2
  2
  1
  1
  1
  
  8 of 67
  CHAPTER 1: CHARACTERS
  MAD SCIENTIST
  Mad Scientists ﬁll the role of necromancers in modern 
  societies.  They put things in bodies that don’t belong 
  there, take things out of bodies that they need, and play 
  with corpses way more than anyone should.  Most mad 
  scientists are rarely identiﬁed by their Mad Scientist Credit 
  Cards™—but heck, they’re all nutty as squirrels, so some of 
  them probably have those cards.  If that doesn’t give them 
  away, the cackling, giggling, chortling, prancing, bug-eyed 
  behavior probably will.
  Requirements
  To qualify to become a Mad Scientist, a character must fulﬁll 
  the following criteria.
  Skills: 6 ranks in Research plus 6 ranks each in any 
  two of the following: Craft (chemical), Craft (electronic), 
  Knowledge (physical sciences) and Knowledge 
  (technology).
  Class Information
  The following information pertains to the Mad Scientist 
  advanced class.
  Hit Die: 1d8.
  Action Points: 6 + one-half character level, rounded 
  down, every time the Mad Scientist attains a new level in 
  this class.
  Class Skills: The Mad Scientist’s class skills (and the 
  key ability for each skill) are: Computer Use (Int), Craft 
  (chemical, electronic, mechanical, pharmaceutical) (Int), 
  Decipher Script (Int), Demolitions (Int), Disable Device 
  (Int), Drive (Dex), Investigate (Int), Knowledge (be-
  havioral sciences, earth and life sciences, physical sciences, 
  technology) (Int), Navigate (Int), Pilot (Dex), Occupation 
  (Wis), Repair (Int), Read/Write Language (none), Research 
  (Int), Search (Int), Speak Language (none).
  Skill Points at Each Level: 7 + Int modiﬁer.
  Class Features
  The following features pertain to the Mad Scientist advanced 
  class.
  Smart Defense: A Mad Scientist applies both his 
  Intelligence and Dexterity bonuses to his Defense. Any 
  situation that would deny the Mad Scientist his Dexterity 
  bonus to Defense also denies the Intelligence bonus.
  Mad Science: A Mad Scientist can create just about 
  anything he can conceive; unfortunately, what he conceives 
  usually involves reanimating the dead.  After drafting his 
  mad plan, the mad Scientist spends 1 action point and makes 
  the appropriate Knowledge check (DC 15). If the Mad 
  Scientist does not have a Knowledge skill directly related 
  to the task at hand, the DC is 20. A failed check means the 
  scientist cannot attempt to create another gadget for the rest 
  of the day.  A natural roll of “1” means the Mad Scientist 
  gains 1 point of Madness (see chapter 2 for more information 
  on Madness).
  If the check is successful, the Mad Scientist can now 
  create the item.  For every ﬁve points of Madness he has, the 
  Mad Scientist receives a +1 bonus to the check.  He makes 
  the appropriate Craft check against the device’s relative DC, 
  determined by the Gamemaster. If the roll is successful, the 
  item is built in the time indicated.  For every 5 points rolled 
  TABLE 1-5: MAD SCIENCE
  DC
  Description
  Item
  Base Time
  10
  Repair device
  Fix a jammed shotgun
  10-60 minutes
  15
  Slight improvement
  Soup up a car
  1-5 hours
  20
  Major improvement
  Dart gun that ﬁres zombie antibodies 
  1-10 hours
  29
  Animate ultrasonic zombie
  1-10 hours
  30
  New use of cutting edge technology
  Animate atomic zombie
  1-6 days
  31
  Animate blue zombie
  1-6 days
  32
  Animate astro zombie, formaldehyde zombie
  1-6 days
  36
  Animate Nazi zombie
  1-6 days
  40
  New technology that ﬂaunts logic
  Zombie potion
  1-4 weeks
  50
  New technology that deﬁes natural laws
  Zombie ray
  1-6 months
  TABLE 1-4: THE MAD SCIENTIST
  Level
  Base Attack
  Bonus
  Fort
  Save
  Ref
  Save
  Will
  Save
  Special
  Defense
  Bonus
  Reputation
  Bonus
  1st
  +0
  +0
  +0
  +2
  Smart defense
  +0
  +0
  2nd
  +1
  +0
  +0
  +3
  Mad Science
  +1
  +0
  3rd
  +2
  +1
  +1
  +3
  Bonus feat
  +1
  +1
  4th
  +3
  +1
  +1
  +4
  Skill mastery
  +1
  +1
  5th
  +3
  +1
  +1
  +4
  Jury rig +2
  +2
  +1
  6th
  +4
  +2
  +2
  +5
  Bonus feat
  +2
  +2
  7th
  +5
  +2
  +2
  +5
  Smart survival
  +2
  +2
  8th
  +6
  +2
  +2
  +6
  Smart offense
  +3
  +2
  9th
  +6
  +3
  +3
  +6
  Bonus feat
  +3
  +3
  10th
  +7
  +3
  +3
  +7
  Jury rig +4
  +3
  +3
  
  CHAPTER 2: ZOMBIE HUNTING
  over the DC, the construction time is halved.  
  Bonus Feats: At 3rd, 6th, and 9th level, the Mad Scientist 
  gets a bonus feat. The bonus feat must be selected from 
  the following list, and the Mad Scientist must meet all the 
  prerequisites of the feat to select it. 
  Archaic Weapons Proﬁciency, Attentive, Cautious, 
  Combat Expertise, Educated, Gearhead, Personal Firearms 
  Proﬁciency, Point Blank Shot, Renown, Studious.
  Skill Mastery: At 4th level, a Mad Scientist selects a 
  number of skills from his or her class list equal to 3 + his or 
  her Intelligence modiﬁer. When making a skill check using 
  one of these skills, the Mad Scientist may take 10 
  even if stress and distractions would normally 
  prevent him from doing so. 
  Jury Rig: The Mad Scientist gets a +2 
  competence bonus on Repair checks to 
  perform temporary repairs on gadgets or other 
  technological gear.  This bonus only applies to Craft checks 
  to repair existing devices of a mechanical nature; it does 
  not assist him in actually building gadgets and gizmos.  It 
  increases to +4 at 10th level.
  Smart Survival: A Mad Scientist of 7th level or higher 
  can spend 1 action point to reduce the damage dealt by a 
  single attack or effect by 5 points.
  Smart Offense: At 8th level, the Mad Scientist selects one 
  weapon that he is proﬁcient in and can use with one hand. 
  With the selected weapon, the Mad Scientist can use his or 
  her Intelligence modiﬁer instead of Strength or Dexterity 
  modiﬁer on attack rolls.
  NECROMANCER 
  If the Mad Scientist uses technology to mess with dead 
  people, the Necromancer uses good old-fashioned 
  superstition and a lot of ill will.  While Mad Scientists 
  tend to be white-coated, surgical glove-wearing freaks, 
  Necromancers are painfully trendy types in black trench 
  coats, black eye makeup, and black everything else.  Did we 
  mention Necromancers wear black?
  They may not be vampires, but it never hurts to check with 
  a well-placed shotgun blast.
  Requirements
  To qualify to become a Necromancer, a character must fulﬁll 
  the following criteria.
  Allegiance: Any evil.
  Skills: Craft (chemical) 6 ranks, Decipher Script 6 ranks, 
  Knowledge (arcane lore) 6 ranks, Research 6 ranks.
  Special: Must possess a book of spells.
  Class Information
  The following information pertains to the Necromancer 
  advanced class.
  Hit Die: 1d6.
  Action Points: 6 + one-half character level, rounded 
  down, every time the Necromancer attains a new level in this 
  class.
  Class Skills: The Necromancer’s class skills (and the key 
  ability for each skill) are Computer Use (Int), Concentration 
  (Con), Craft (chemical) (Int), Craft (pharmaceutical) (Int), 
  Craft (visual arts) (Int), Craft (writing) (Int), Decipher Script 
  (Int), Investigate (Int), Knowledge (arcane lore, art, current 
  events, earth and life sciences, physical sciences, popular 
  culture, technology) (Int), Profession (Wis), Read/Write 
  Language (none), Research (Int), Speak Language (none), 
  Spellcraft (Int).
  Skill Points at Each Level: 5 + Int modiﬁer.
  Class Features
  The following features pertain to the Necromancer advanced 
  class.
  Weapon and Armor Proﬁciency: The Necromancer is 
  not proﬁcient in any sort of weapon, armor, or shield. 
  Spellcasting: A Necromancer gains the ability to cast 
  arcane spells.  To cast a spell, the Necromancer must have 
  an Intelligence score of at least 10 + the spell’s level.  
  
  10 of 67
  CHAPTER 1: CHARACTERS
  Necromancer bonus spells are based on Intelligence and 
  saving throws against these spells have a DC of 10 + 
  spell level + Intelligence modiﬁer.  A Necromancer has 
  access to any necromancy spell on the arcane spells list.  A 
  Necromancer prepares and casts spells as an arcane caster.  
  Spells listed in italics are from  Arcana; spells in bold italics 
  are new spells (see the FX chapter for more details).
  0-level Necromancer Spells: Daze, Mage Hand, Ray Of 
  Boils, Touch Of Fatigue
  1st-level Necromancer Spells: Cause Fear, Clammy 
  Touch, Detect Zombie, Ray Of Enfeeblement, Ray Of 
  Fatigue
  2nd-level Necromancer Spells: Blindness/deafness, 
  Command Zombie, Darkvision, False Life
  3rd-level Necromancer Spells: Gentle Repose, Grayﬁre, 
  Halt Undead, Ray Of Exhaustion, Zombie Belch, Zombie 
  Touch
  4th-level Necromancer Spells: Animate Dead, Bestow 
  Curse, Enervation, Fear, Zombie Belch, Zombie Fever
  5th-level Necromancer Spells: Blight, Control Zombie, 
  Create Zombie, Magic Jar, Waves Of Fatigue
  Command Undead: The Necromancer can command 
  undead as an evil divine caster equal to his Necromancer 
  level.
  Increased Control: With each level a character takes 
  in the Necromancer advanced class, he can control more 
  HD of undead.  At 2nd level and thereafter, a Necromancer 
  can control a number of undead equal to 2 HD of undead 
  per caster level multiplied by his Necromancer level. 
  For example, a 15th level character who has 5 levels in 
  Necromancer can control 75 HD of undead. 
  Increased Animation: The Necromancer can create one 
  extra HD of undead for each level he has in Necromancer 
  when he casts animate dead.  For example, a 30th level 
  character with 10 levels in Necromancer can animate 40 HD 
  of undead in total with a single casting of animate dead. 
  Bolster Undead: The Necromancer can bolster undead 
  (but not dispel turning) as an evil divine caster equal to the 
  Necromancer’s level.
  Faster Animation: The Necromancer can cast create 
  zombie in 10 minutes rather than an hour.
  Mass Animation: Beginning at 9th level, the Necromancer 
  can cast multiple undead animation spells with a 
  single casting. The Necromancer can cast any undead 
  animation spells (create greater zombie, create zombie, 
  and animate undead) simultaneously, with combined spell 
  levels equaling the Necromancer’s level multiplied by 
  2.  For example, a 10th level Necromancer could cast four 
  animate dead (at 5th level each, for a total of 20 levels) 
  simultaneously.  The spells are otherwise cast as normal and 
  disappear from the Necromancer’s spell allotment for the 
  day.
  PSYCHOKINETIC
  Psychokinetics are rare human beings who tap into their 
  raw psychic potential. Psychokinetics are usually young 
  women in their teens that are struggling with feelings of 
  isolation and with the existence of their awesome powers.  
  Although often uncertain and hesitant in social situations, 
  psychokinetics can be truly fearsome opponents when 
  enraged.
  Requirements
  To qualify to become a Psychokinetic, a character must 
  fulﬁll the following criteria.
  TABLE 1-6: THE NECROMANCER
  Level
  Base Attack
  Bonus
  Fort
  Save
  Ref
  Save
  Will
  Save
  Special
  Defense
  Bonus
  Reputation
  Bonus
  1st
  +0
  +0
  +0
  +2
  Command undead
  +1
  +1
  2nd
  +1
  +0
  +0
  +3
  Increased control
  +1
  +1
  3rd
  +1
  +1
  +1
  +3
  Increased animation
  +2
  +1
  4th
  +2
  +1
  +1
  +4
  +2
  +2
  5th
  +2
  +1
  +1
  +4
  +3
  +2
  6th
  +3
  +2
  +2
  +5
  Bolster undead
  +3
  +2
  7th
  +3
  +2
  +2
  +5
  Faster animation
  +4
  +3
  8th
  +4
  +2
  +2
  +6
  +4
  +3
  9th
  +4
  +3
  +3
  +6
  Mass animation
  +5
  +3
  10th
  +5
  +3
  +3
  +7
  +5
  +4
  TABLE 1-7: NECROMANCER SPELLCASTING 
  Necromancer 
  Level
  Spells per Day by Spell Level
  0
  1
  2
  3
  4
  5
  1st
  3
  1
  —
  —
  —
  —
  2nd
  4
  2
  —
  —
  —
  —
  3rd
  4
  2
  1
  —
  —
  —
  4th
  4
  3
  2
  —
  —
  —
  5th
  4
  3
  2
  1
  —
  —
  6th
  4
  3
  3
  2
  —
  —
  7th
  4
  4
  3
  2
  1
  —
  8th
  4
  4
  3
  3
  2
  —
  9th
  4
  4
  4
  3
  2
  1
  10th
  4
  4
  4
  3
  3
  2
  TABLE 1-8: NECROMANCER BONUS SPELLS
  Intelligence
  Bonus Spells by Spell Level
  0
  1
  2
  3
  4
  5
  12–13
  —
  1
  —
  —
  —
  —
  14–15
  —
  1
  1
  —
  —
  —
  16–17
  —
  1
  1
  1
  —
  —
  18–19
  —
  1
  1
  1
  1
  —
  20–21
  —
  2
  1
  1
  1
  1
  22–23
  —
  2
  2
  1
  1
  1
  
  CHAPTER 1: CHARACTERS
  Occupation: Scream Queen.
  Skills: Bluff 6 ranks, Diplomacy 6 ranks, Gather 
  Information 6 ranks.
  Feat: Wild Talent.
  Class Information
  The following information pertains to the Psychokinetic 
  advanced class.
  Hit Die: 1d4. 
  Action Points: 6 + one-half character level, rounded 
  down, every time the Psychokinetic attains a new level in 
  this class.
  Class Skills: The Psychokinetic’s class skills (and the key 
  ability for each skill) are: Autohypnosis (Wis), Bluff (Cha), 
  Concentration (Con), Diplomacy (Cha), Gather Information 
  (Cha), Knowledge (behavioral sciences, current events, 
  popular culture, philosophy and theology) (Int), Profession 
  (Wis), Psicraft (Int), Read/Write Language (none), Sense 
  Motive (Wis), Speak Language (none).
  Skill Points at Each Level: 4 + Int modiﬁer.
  Class Features
  The following features pertain to the Psychokinetic advanced 
  class.
  Psionic skills: At 1st level, the Psychokinetic gains access 
  to the Autohypnosis, Concentration, and Psicraft skills.
  Psionic powers: The Psychokinetic’s key talent is her 
  ability to use psionic powers.  A psionic power is a one-
  time psionic effect.  Psionic powers require power points 
  to use. Unlike arcane spellcasters, Psychokinetics don’t 
  have spellbooks and they don’t prepare powers ahead of 
  time.  A Psychokinetic’s level limits the number of power 
  points available for manifesting powers. In addition, a 
  Psychokinetic must have a key ability score equal to at least 
  10 + the power’s level to manifest a particular power.  Each 
  Psychokinetic specializes in a primary psionic discipline, 
  which is chosen at 1st level.
  At 1st level, the Psychokinetic acquires two 0-level powers 
  (also called talents) and zero 1st-level powers.  In addition, 
  she receives one extra power per power level, provided that 
  this extra power is chosen from the character’s primary 
  discipline.  At each level, the Psychokinetic discovers one 
  or more previously latent powers and increases the number 
  of power points available to her per day, as indicated on the 
  table below.
  The DC for saving throws to resist a Psychokinetic’s 
  powers is 1d20 + the power’s level + the Psychokinetic’s 
  Charisma modiﬁer. The 1d20 roll is made by the attacking 
  Psychokinetic when the power is manifested.
  A Psychokinetic can manifest a certain number of powers 
  per day based on her available power points. She just pays 
  the power point cost of a power to manifest it, no preparation 
  necessary. The base number of power points available 
  per day is shown on the table 1-11. This number can be 
  increased by bonus points determined by the Psychokinetic’s 
  Charisma score, as shown on the table below.
  Note: A Psychokinetic may choose to discover a lower-
  level power in place of a higher-level power normally 
  granted by level advancement. If a Psychokinetic chooses 
  to learn a lower-level power instead of her ﬁrst discipline 
  power for a particular power level, the substitute lower-level 
  power must be in the Psychokinetic’s primary discipline.
  Below are listed the powers available to Psychokinetic 
  characters.  Powers listed in italics can be found in the 
  Arcana. Powers listed in  bold italics are new powers and are 
  described in FX Chapter of this book.
  TABLE 1-9: THE PSYCHOKINETIC
  Level
  Base Attack
  Bonus
  Fort
  Save
  Ref
  Save
  Will
  Save
  Special
  Defense
  Bonus
  Reputation
  Bonus
  1st
  +0
  +0
  +0
  +2
  Psionic skills, Psionic powers
  +1
  +0
  2nd
  +1
  +0
  +0
  +3
  +1
  +0
  3rd
  +1
  +1
  +1
  +3
  +2
  +1
  4th
  +2
  +1
  +1
  +4
  +2
  +1
  5th
  +2
  +1
  +1
  +4
  +3
  +1
  6th
  +3
  +2
  +2
  +5
  +3
  +2
  7th
  +3
  +2
  +2
  +5
  +4
  +2
  8th
  +4
  +2
  +2
  +6
  +4
  +2
  9th
  +4
  +3
  +3
  +6
  +5
  +3
  10th
  +5
  +3
  +3
  +7
  +5
  +3
  TABLE 1-10: PSYCHOKINETIC POWERS
  Psychokinetic 
  Level
  Powers Discovered by Level 
  Pts/Day
  0
  1
  2
  3
  4
  5
  1st
  2
  3
  1
  —
  —
  —
  —
  2nd
  3
  3
  2
  —
  —
  —
  —
  3rd
  4
  3
  3
  —
  —
  —
  —
  4th
  7
  4
  3
  1
  —
  —
  —
  5th
  10
  4
  3
  2
  —
  —
  —
  6th
  15
  4
  3
  2
  1
  —
  —
  7th
  20
  5
  4
  3
  2
  —
  —
  8th
  27
  5
  4
  3
  2
  1
  —
  9th
  34
  5
  4
  3
  3
  2
  —
  10th
  43
  6
  4
  3
  3
  2
  1
  TABLE 1-11: BONUS POWER POINTS
  Cha Score
  Bonus Power Points per Day
  12–13
  1
  14–15
  3
  16–17
  5
  18–19
  7
  20–21
  9
  22–23
  11
  
  12 of 67
  CHAPTER 1: CHARACTERS
  Requirements
  To qualify to become a Zombie Hunter, a character must 
  fulﬁll the following criteria.
  Base Attack Bonus: +2.
  Skill: Investigate 6 ranks, Listen 6 ranks, Survival 6 ranks.
  Feat: Track.
  Class Information
  Hit Die: 1d6.
  Action Points: 6 + one-half character level, rounded 
  down, every time the character attains a new level in this 
  class.
  Class Skills
  The Zombie Hunter’s class skills (and the key ability 
  for each skill) are: Bluff (Cha), Computer Use (Int), 
  Disable Device (Dex), Drive (Dex), Forgery (Int), Gather 
  Information (Cha), Intimidate (Cha), Investigate (Int), 
  Knowledge (behavioral sciences, civics, current events, 
  streetwise) (Int), Listen (Wis), Occupation (Wis), Read/Write 
  Language (none), Research (Int), Search (Int), Sense Motive 
  (Wis), Speak Language (none), Spellcraft (Int), Spot (Wis), 
  Use Magic Device (Cha).
  Skill Points at Each Level: 5 + Int modiﬁer.
  Class Features
  The following features pertain to the Zombie Hunter 
  advanced class.
  Zombie Hunting (Ex): At 1st level, 
  the Zombie Hunter receives a +1 bonus 
  to Bluff, Listen, Sense Motive, Spot, and 
  Survival checks against undead.  This 
  bonus also applies to damage rolls, though ranged 
  attacks only gain the bonus when the Zombie Hunter is 
  within 30 feet of the target.  This ability stacks with similar 
  abilities.  At 5th and 10th level, this bonus increases to +2 and 
  +3 respectively.
  Improved Track (Ex/Su): Zombie Hunters are 
  accomplished trackers and receive several bonuses to their 
  tracking ability.  At 1st level, they receive a +1 competence 
  bonus to all Track checks.  At 3rd level, they receive an 
  additional +1 bonus to all Track rolls and gain the scent 
  special quality when tracking undead.  Scent grants a +10 
  synergy bonus to all Track rolls; this scent bonus is reduced 
  by –2 for every hour after the trail grows cold and an 
  additional –2 per hour of rain.  At 6th level, Zombie Hunters 
  receive an additional +1 bonus to all Track rolls and the 
  penalty for tracking while moving at full speed drops to –2 
  when tracking undead.  At 9th level, Zombie Hunters receive 
  an additional +1 bonus to tracking and are no longer affected 
  by special abilities that conceal an undead’s trail.  This 
  counts as a supernatural ability.
  Bonus Feats: At 3rd, 6th, and 9th level, the Zombie Hunter 
  gains a bonus feat. The bonus feat must be selected from 
  the following list, and the Zombie Hunter must meet all the 
  prerequisites of the feat to select it. Feats listed in bold are 
  new feats described in the Feats chapter of this book.
  0-level Psychokinetic Powers (Talents): Daze, Far Hand, 
  Far Punch, Missive.
  1st-level Psychokinetic Powers: Combat Precognition, 
  Control Object, Create Sound, Identify, Lesser Mindlink, 
  Object Reading, 
  2nd-level Psychokinetic Powers: Clairaudience/
  clairvoyance, Combat Prescience, Concussion, Sensitivity To 
  Psychic Impressions, Sever The Tie
  3rd-level Psychokinetic Powers: False Sensory Input, 
  Mindlink, Undead Sense
  4th-level Psychokinetic Powers: Fate Of One, Force 
  Mindlink, Inertial Barrier, Telekinesis 
  5th-level Psychokinetic Powers: Awaken The Dead, Mind 
  Probe, Sending
  Zombie Hunter 
  Zombie Hunters are the coolest, smartest, fastest killing 
  machines around.  They hack zombies up with style, can hit 
  targets from 100 feet away while blindfolded, and are great 
  in bed.  If you’re a hot babe who’s looking for a real stud, 
  hook up with a Zombie Hunter today.  If you’re not, then 
  give the next Zombie Hunter you meet your wallet.*
  *We’re not biased.  Really.
  
  CHAPTER 1: CHARACTERS
  Advanced Firearms Proﬁciency, Armor Proﬁciency (light), 
  Armor Proﬁciency (medium), Brawl, Defensive Martial Arts, 
  Dodge, Double Tap, Educated, Improvised Implements, 
  Improvised Weapon Damage, Knockout Punch, Personal 
  Firearms Proﬁciency, Point Blank Shot.
  Penetrating Blow (Ex): When ﬁghting an undead, the 
  Zombie Hunter may make a strike that exploits the zombie’s 
  weaknesses, causing extra damage.  At 4th level, this ability 
  adds 1d4+1 damage; at 8th level, the extra damage rises to 
  1d6+2.  This ability only affects one melee attack per round, 
  and the Zombie Hunter must declare that he is using this 
  ability before the attack roll is made.  If the attack misses, 
  the penetrating blow cannot be used again until the next 
  round.
  Fearless (Ex): At 7th level, a Zombie Hunter is no longer 
  affected by certain extraordinary, supernatural, or spell-like 
  abilities that invoke fear.  Any such fear-invoking abilities 
  that are used by creatures with a CR equal to or less than 
  twice the character’s Zombie Hunter levels have no effect 
  on the Zombie Hunter.  Zombie Hunters are still affected 
  normally by fear-causing spells.
  FEATS
  Any damn fool can pick up a weapon and clock a zombie. 
  But it takes a special kind of fool to be able to do it with 
  style.  In this section lie the tricks of the trade—all the 
  zombie-hunting techniques that the cool kids use to kill 
  zombies.
  BACKHAND SLASH 
  You can attack an opponent behind you with a slashing 
  weapon.
  Prerequisites: Dexterity 13+, Combat Reﬂexes.
  Beneﬁt: If an opponent is behind and adjacent to you and 
  you are wielding a slashing weapon, you can immediately 
  make a free attack of opportunity against that opponent. You 
  can’t take a 5-foot step before making this extra attack. 
  BRING IT ON 
  You’re so crazy, you’re sane.  Or to put it another way: 
  somewhere along the line your sanity-meter has gone tilt.  
  You’ve seen so much blood, guts, zombies, and horror that 
  you’re no longer fazed by any of it.
  Prerequisites: Cool, First Impression, Iron Will.
  Beneﬁt: All Madness Rating increases suffered are halved 
  (round down).
  CHAINSAW IMPALE 
  You can impale your foes on the end of your chainsaw and 
  lift them off the ground as it churns up their guts.  Yum!
  Prerequisite: Str 15+, Power Attack.
  Beneﬁt: When you inﬂict a critical hit against a corporeal 
  creature while wielding a chainsaw, you can shove it deep 
  into your target’s body (this feat affects creatures that are 
  normally immune to critical hits).  Each round that it is 
  kept planted in your foe, the chainsaw automatically inﬂicts 
  normal (non-critical) damage unless your opponent makes 
  a successful opposed Strength check against your Strength.  
  The impaled creature can attempt this Strength check each 
  round; success indicates that the chainsaw is pulled out, 
  but the victim suffers normal damage in the process.  A 
  victim skewered by the saw is considered entangled until 
  it manages to free itself.  You may take no other actions 
  apart from holding the chainsaw in place in order to keep 
  the victim skewered.  If you break your hold, the chainsaw 
  comes free and inﬂicts normal damage as it is removed.
  COOL 
  You are able to perform calmly under pressure.
  Prerequisite: Iron Will.
  Beneﬁt: You receive a +4 competence bonus to 
  Concentration checks.  
  FIRST IMPRESSION 
  You can impress primitives with your shotgun by ﬁring it 
  into the air.
  Prerequisites: Personal Firearms Proﬁciency, Intimidate 
  9 ranks.
  Beneﬁt: When the character ﬁres a shotgun into the air, 
  all opponents within 10 feet who have fewer levels than 
  the character does must make a Will save (DC 10 + ½ the 
  character’s level + the character’s Charisma modiﬁer). An 
  opponent who fails his or her save is shaken, suffering a –2 
  penalty on attack rolls, saving throws, and skill checks for a 
  TABLE 1-12: THE ZOMBIE HUNTER
  Level
  Base Attack
  Bonus
  Fort
  Save
  Ref
  Save
  Will
  Save
  Special
  Defense
  Bonus
  Reputation
  Bonus
  1st
  +0
  +0
  +1
  +1
  Zombie hunting +1, improved track +1
  +1
  +1
  2nd
  +1
  +0
  +2
  +2
  +1
  +1
  3rd
  +2
  +1
  +2
  +2
  Bonus feat, improved track +2/scent
  +2
  +1
  4th
  +3
  +1
  +2
  +2
  Penetrating blow +1d4+1
  +2
  +2
  5th
  +3
  +1
  +3
  +3
  Zombie hunting +2
  +3
  +2
  6th
  +4
  +2
  +3
  +3
  Bonus feat, improved track +3/-2 full speed
  +3
  +2
  7th
  +5
  +2
  +4
  +4
  Fearless
  +4
  +3
  8th
  +6
  +2
  +4
  +4
  Penetrating blow +1d6+2
  +4
  +3
  9th
  +6
  +3
  +4
  +4
  Bonus feat, improved track +4/immunity
  +5
  +3
  10th
  +7
  +3
  +5
  +5
  Zombie hunting +3
  +5
  +4
  
  14 of 67
  CHAPTER 1: CHARACTERS
  number of rounds equal to 1d6 + the character’s Charisma 
  modiﬁer. The character can use this feat once per round as 
  a free action. A successful save indicates that the opponent 
  is immune to the character’s use of this feat for 24 hours. 
  This feat does not affect creatures with an Intelligence of 3 
  or lower. If the character has the Renown feat, the DC of the 
  Will saving throw increases by 5.
  HARDWARE 
  When you’re not spattering zombie brains across the wall, 
  you have a day job.  And that day job is in the hardware 
  department.  You work hard to keep prices low.  Always.
  Prerequisites: Builder, Madness Rating 5+, Craft 
  (mechanical) 9 ranks. 
  Beneﬁt: All Craft (mechanical) check DCs are reduced by 
  a number equal to your character level, and the time required 
  to create a mechanical item from scratch is reduced by one-
  half.  
  IMPROVISED IMPLEMENTS 
  You wield a mean fork.
  Beneﬁt: You suffer no penalties for using skills without 
  the proper tools. You can perform surgery with a pocketknife 
  and a ballpoint pen. However, all skill checks made without 
  the proper tools take twice as long.
  Normal: If you try to use skills that require tools without 
  the proper equipment, you suffer a -4 penalty to your skill 
  check (-2 if impromptu tools are used).
  IMPROVISED WEAPONS 
  You are a walking disaster area.  In a ﬁght, you can use 
  anything you touch as a weapon.
  Prerequisite:  Brawl.
  Beneﬁt:  You can use any improvised weapon in combat 
  with no penalty to your attack roll.  You must still learn how 
  to use items designed as weapons in the normal way.
  Normal: Using an improvised weapon incurs a -4 penalty 
  to your attack roll.
  IMPROVISED WEAPON DAMAGE 
  You can kill a man with a credit card.  Or a feather duster.
  Prerequisites: Improvised Implements, Improvised 
  Weapons.
  Beneﬁt: The character’s attacks with improvised weapons 
  deal more damage. Improvised weapons used in this way are 
  treated as one size category larger than their actual size for 
  the purpose of determining the damage dealt.
  OVER THE SHOULDER 
  You’re so good with a shotgun that you can ﬁre it over your 
  shoulder at bad guys behind you without even looking.
  Prerequisites: Wisdom 13, Dead Aim, Far Shot.
  Beneﬁt: When ﬁring over your shoulder, if you miss your 
  target due to concealment, you can reroll the concealment 
  miss chance once to see if you actually hit.
  Normal: Targets behind you have total concealment, and 
  ranged attacks directed against them have a 50% chance of 
  missing.
  RIFLE SPIN 
  You can cock a riﬂe one-handed as a free action.
  Prerequisites: Dexterity 13+, Personal Firearms 
  Proﬁciency.
  Beneﬁt: You can cock a lever-action riﬂe one-handed as a 
  free action without having to make a Reﬂex save.
  Normal: Cocking a riﬂe one-handed is a move-equivalent 
  action and provokes an attack of opportunity. Cocking a 
  lever-action riﬂe usually requires two hands to cock as a free 
  action.  You can cock a lever-action riﬂe one-handed as a 
  free action with a successful Dexterity check (DC 15). If the 
  check fails by more than 5, you drop the riﬂe.
  SLAPSTICK 
  You know all sorts of dirty tricks to use in a knock-down-
  drag-out brawl.  Whether it’s throwing dirt in an opponent’s 
  eyes, biting his ear, yanking his hair, or kicking him in the 
  crotch, you’ll do it. 
  Prerequisites: Combat Martial Arts, Base Attack Bonus 
  +1.
  Beneﬁt: Anytime you use the full attack option in hand-
  to-hand combat while unarmed or during a grappling attack, 
  you inﬂict an additional 1d4 points of damage (real or 
  nonlethal). In addition, the target must make a Fortitude 
  save (DC equals 10 plus the damage inﬂicted).  If he fails, 
  the victim suffers a –4 penalty to his attack roll on his next 
  action.  This feat only works against living creatures with 
  discernable anatomies.
  STUD 
  Men are jealous of you, women adore you.  Your personal 
  charisma is difﬁcult to resist, especially after you’ve 
  spattered a zombie across the wall.
  Prerequisites: First Impression, Charisma 13+.
  Beneﬁt: Any member of the opposite sex who witnesses 
  you kill a zombie or outsider must make a successful Will 
  save (DC equal to your level) or have his or her attitude 
  shifted to Helpful.  This feat does not affect onlookers who 
  already have an attitude of Unfriendly or lower.
  SUCK ON THIS 
  You can shove a shotgun directly into a zombie’s face and let 
  the rest come naturally.
  Prerequisites: Personal Firearms Proﬁciency, Point Blank 
  Shot.
  Beneﬁt: When wielding a shotgun against a zombie in 
  melee combat, you can deliver a coup de grace, even if the 
  zombie is immune to critical hits.
  Normal: You can only deliver a coup de grace to a 
  helpless target, and cannot attempt it on a creature that is 
  immune to critical hits.
  
  CHAPTER 1: CHARACTERS
  VIRGIN 
  So long as you’re pure, you have a real chance at surviving.
  Prerequisites: If you don’t know, ask your parents.
  Beneﬁt: So long as the character retains his or her 
  virginity, he receives a +2 morale bonus to all saving throws. 
  Characters who lose their virginity immediately lose this 
  feat… and become zombie bait. 
  WHATEVER 
  You’ve seen it all—nothing fazes you.  As a result, 
  frightening or other potentially debilitating conditions have 
  less effect on you. 
  Prerequisite: Cool, Iron Will.
  Beneﬁt: When you would normally be panicked, you are 
  only frightened instead.  When you would be frightened, 
  you are only shaken.  When you would be shaken, you are 
  unaffected.  
  
  16 of 67
  CHAPTER 2: ZOMBIE HUNTING
  CHAPTER 
  TWO: ZOMBIE 
  HUNTING
  TOOLS OF THE TRADE
  Okay, so you’ve got the training and the moves 
  to take out zombies.  But do you have the 
  ﬁrepower?  Nine out of ten zombie hunting 
  expeditions fail because the zombie hunters forgot to carry 
  enough ammunition.  Whether your weapon of choice 
  is a ﬂamethrower, a chainsaw, or a shotgun, this section 
  describes how to get it, use it, and abuse zombies with it. 
  And if you should happen to lose a limb to zombie hunting 
  (a common occurrence), it also details what you can put on 
  your shiny new stump.
  ASSAULT RIFLE
  Assault riﬂes are like bolt-action riﬂes on steroids.  Although 
  bulkier than submachine guns, they’re a lot more lethal and 
  a lot more hyperactive.  Switch the riﬂe to “puree” and spray 
  yourself a zombie-clear path to freedom.
  This weapon features a three-round burst setting. When 
  used with the Burst Fire feat, it ﬁres only three bullets 
  instead of ﬁve and can be used with only three bullets in the 
  weapon. This setting does not grant the ability to make burst 
  ﬁre attacks without the Burst Fire feat; if a character uses 
  this setting without the feat, he or she makes a normal attack 
  and the extra two bullets are wasted.
  BUZZSAW
  Sort of like a chainsaw, except it’s a spinning wheel rather 
  than an oval-shaped blade.  Buzzsaws spin faster and inﬂict 
  more damage as a result.  The chainsaw’s still cooler—they 
  didn’t call it the “Buzzsaw Massacre,” did they?
  CHAINSAW
  Every Y-Mart employee knows a chainsaw can 
  be used to cut down cumbersome tree branches, 
  chop up ﬁrewood, and decapitate charging 
  zombies in slow motion.  What—you didn’t know 
  that?  That’s right, chainsaws are messy, but they 
  get the job done fast and effectively.  Just remember 
  to keep the thing gassed up.
  CLUB
  Zombies are like piñatas—hit them hard enough and all 
  kinds of treats pop out.  So it’s no surprise that your average 
  baseball bat does for zombies what mallets do to whacking 
  moles: hit it on the head hard enough and the zombie stops 
  popping up.  Sometimes.  At a minimum, a bone-crushing 
  smash to the ribs usually slows a zombie down long enough 
  to run away.
  COMPOUND BOW
  Bow hunting is hard.  Theoretically, zombie bow hunting 
  is easier.  However, zombies don’t run when shot at; they’ll 
  gleefully stand still as arrow after arrow thuds into them.  
  And what do you have then?  One pissed off zombie coat 
  rack. Bows do make excellent delivery systems for ﬁre and 
  explosives, however—few zombies have the wherewithal to 
  remove arrows from their body. 
  A character’s Strength modiﬁer applies to damage rolls 
  made when using this weapon.
  
  CHAPTER 2: ZOMBIE HUNTING
  CROSSBOW
  Crossbows are useful because even wimpy zombie hunters 
  who aren’t manly enough to pull a bow can still shoot bolts 
  of death at the living dead.  Still, nothing beats a riﬂe. 
  A crossbow requires two hands to use. Pulling a lever 
  draws the bow. Loading a crossbow is a move action that 
  provokes attacks of opportunity.
  CROWBAR
  Crowbars have all sorts of uses.  They can pry open doors.  
  They can break through windows.  They can stab right 
  through the eye of the shambling dead. This doesn’t usually 
  do much, unless the zombie stops functioning when its brain 
  is “sharply massaged” (as the professionals in the industry 
  call it).  We like to call it “leveraging best practices.” 
  Crowbars bestow a +2 bonus to all Strength-based checks 
  when the crowbar’s leverage can be appropriately utilized.
  DYNAMITE
  One of the most common and straightforward explosives, 
  dynamite is very stable under normal conditions. 
  A stick of dynamite requires a fuse or detonator to set it 
  off. Additional sticks can be set off at the same time if they 
  are within the burst radius of the ﬁrst stick (5 ft.), increasing 
  the damage and burst radius of the explosion. Each 
  additional stick increases the damage by +1d6 (maximum 
  10d6) and the burst radius by 5 feet (maximum 20 feet). It’s 
  possible to wire together several sticks of dynamite for even 
  greater explosive effect. Doing so requires a Demolitions 
  check (DC 10 + 1 per stick). If the check is successful, the 
  TABLE 2-1: WEAPONS
  Weapon
  Damage
  Crit
  Type
  Range
  ROF
  Magazine
  Size
  Weight
  DC
  Archaic Melee  (require the Archaic Melee Weapon Proﬁciency)
  Hatchet
  1d6
  20
  Slashing
  10 ft.
  —
  —
  Small
  4 lb.
  4
  Machete
  1d6
  19–20
  Slashing
  —
  —
  —
  Small
  2 lb.
  5
  Sickle
  1d6
  20
  Slashing
  —
  —
  —
  Small
  3 lb.
  4
  Trench Spike
  1d6
  19-20
  Piercing
  —
  —
  —
  Small
  4 lb.
  11
  Archaic Ranged (require the Archaic Melee Weapon Proﬁciency)
  Compound Bow
  1d8
  20
  Piercing
  40 ft.
  1
  —
  Large
  3 lb.
  10
  Exotic Melee (each requires a speciﬁc Exotic Melee Weapon Proﬁciency)
  Buzzsaw
  5d6
  20
  Slashing
  —
  —
  —
  Large
  10 lb.
  18
  Chainsaw
  3d6
  20
  Slashing
  —
  —
  —
  Large
  10 lb.
  9
  Shaolin Spade
  1d8
  19-20
  Pierce/Slash
  —
  —
  —
  Large
  9 lb.
  15
  Explosive
  Dynamite
  2d6
  —
  Concussion
  10 ft.
  1
  —
  Tiny
  1 lb.
  12
  Molotov Cocktail
  1d6
  20
  Fire
  10 ft.
  1
  —
  Small
  1 lb.
  6
  Handgun (require the Personal Firearms Proﬁciency)
  Handgun
  2d6
  20
  Ballistic
  30 ft.
  S
  8 box
  Tiny
  2 lb.
  15
  Heavy Ranged (each requires a speciﬁc Exotic Firearms Proﬁciency)
  Launcher
  Varies
  —
  —
  70 ft.
  1
  1 int.
  Large
  7 lb.
  14
  Gatling Gun
  2d6+1
  19-20
  Ballistic
  30 ft.
  A
  12 box
  Med.
  5 lb.
  20
  Longarm (require the Personal Firearms Proﬁciency)
  Assault Riﬂe, Ak-47
  2d8
  20
  Ballistic
  70 ft.
  S, A
  30 box
  Large
  10 lb.
  15
  Riﬂe, Winchester 94
  2d10
  20
  Ballistic
  90 ft.
  S
  6 int.
  Large
  7 lb.
  15
  Shotgun, Remington 700
  2d10
  20
  Ballistic
  80 ft.
  Single
  5 int.
  Large
  8 lb.
  17
  Submachine Gun, Hk Mp5
  2d6
  20
  Ballistic
  50 ft.
  S, A
  30 box
  Large
  7 lb.
  20
  Other Ranged
  Flamethrower (none)
  1d6/shot
  —
  Fire
  Spec.
  1
  1 int.
  Med.
  25 lb.
  17
  Crossbow (simple)
  1d10
  19–20
  Piercing
  40 ft.
  1
  1 int.
  Med
  7 lb.
  9
  Simple Melee (require the Simple Melee Weapon Proﬁciency)
  Club
  1d6
  20
  Bludgeoning
  10 ft.
  —
  —
  Med
  3 lb.
  4
  Crowbar
  1d6
  19-20
  Blud/Pierce
  —
  —
  —
  Med
  4 lb.
  5
  Knife
  1d4
  19–20
  Piercing
  10 ft.
  —
  —
  Tiny
  1 lb.
  5
  Metal Baton
  1d6
  19–20
  Bludgeoning
  —
  —
  —
  Med
  2 lb.
  8
  Pistol Whip
  1d4
  20
  Bludgeoning
  —
  —
  —
  Small
  —
  —
  Riﬂe Butt
  1d6
  20
  Bludgeoning
  —
  —
  —
  Large
  —
  —
  Shovel
  1d6
  20
  Bludgeoning
  —
  —
  —
  Large
  6 lb.
  4
  
  18 of 67
  CHAPTER 2: ZOMBIE HUNTING
  damage or the burst radius of the explosion increases by 
  50% (character’s choice).
  Dynamite is sold in boxes of 12 sticks, and is considered a 
  simple explosive for the purpose of using a Craft (chemical) 
  check to manufacture it. To set off dynamite using a fuse, the 
  fuse must ﬁrst be lit, requiring a move action (and a lighter 
  or other source of ﬂame). The amount of time until the 
  dynamite explodes depends on the length of the fuse—a fuse 
  can be cut short enough for the dynamite to detonate in the 
  same round (allowing it to be used much like a grenade), or 
  long enough to take several minutes to detonate. Cutting the 
  fuse to the appropriate length requires a move action.
  FLAMETHROWER
  We love the smell of burning zombie in the morning, and 
  you will too after you’ve tried out this highly child-unsafe 
  toy.  However, ﬂamethrowers are not all they’re cracked up 
  to be, or else everyone would be running around with one.  
  They’re hard to purchase, harder to use, and they blow up 
  real good if someone happens to shoot them.  Lucky for you, 
  zombies are bad shots.  Most of them, anyway.
  The ﬂamethrower’s galvanized fuel tank is ﬁlled with 
  alcohol stored under high pressure.  When the trigger of the 
  stock is pulled, the alcohol shoots out and is lit by a ﬂint 
  and steel. When ﬁlled with alcohol, a ﬂamethrower has 30 
  “shots” in its holding tank.  Every time the user depresses the 
  trigger, he ﬁres 1 to 6 shots (character’s choice).  It shoots 
  a 15-foot-wide, 60-foot long cone of ﬂame that deals 1d10 
  points of ﬁre damage (multiplied by the number of shots 
  used) to all creatures and objects in its path. An attack roll is 
  necessary for every target in the cone’s path.
  GATLING GUN
  A gatling gun can be reloaded with a special speed-load 
  cylinder manufactured speciﬁcally for it. 
  Because it is an automatic weapon, it can be used to create 
  suppressive ﬁre. The gatling gun requires the Advanced 
  Firearms Proﬁciency to use and is always considered to be 
  set on autoﬁre. 
  HANDGUN
  It’s rare that the good guys get their hands on a weapon 
  like a handgun.  This is due at least in part to the fact that 
  handguns ﬁre wussy bullets that tend to make squishy meaty 
  sounds in zombies but otherwise have little effect.
  HATCHET
  This light axe is a chopping tool that deals slashing damage 
  when employed as a weapon. Remember, the only way to 
  stop some zombies is to dismember them.  So make like 
  Washington, pronto.
  KNIFE
  This category of weapon includes hunting knives, butterﬂy 
  or “balisong” knives, switchblades, and bayonets (when 
  not attached to riﬂes).  A character can select the Weapon 
  Finesse feat to apply his or her Dexterity modiﬁer instead of 
  Strength modiﬁer to attack rolls with a knife. 
  LAUNCHER
  This simple weapon is a single-shot launcher that can ﬁre 
  dynamite or Molotov cocktails. 
  Attacking with a launcher is identical to throwing an 
  explosive: you make a ranged attack against a speciﬁc 5-
  foot square (instead of targeting a person or creature). The 
  differences between using the launcher and throwing an 
  explosive lie in the range of the weapon (which far exceeds 
  the distance an explosive can be thrown) and the fact that the 
  launcher requires a weapon proﬁciency to operate without 
  penalty. The Exotic Firearms Proﬁciency (launcher) feat 
  applies to this weapon.
  MACHETE
  When pressed closely together, zombie limbs are a lot like 
  thick foliage.  Need we say more?
  METAL BATON
  There’s nothing quite like taking out your frustrations on 
  somebody by beating the living piss out of them.  That’s why 
  God invented metal batons and police ofﬁcers.  Put these two 
  babies together, stand back, and watch the magic happen.  
  Now you too can re-enact infamous beatings with this shiny 
  extendable baton.  Use it on a zombie today—beat all you 
  want, we’ll make more.
  MOLOTOV COCKTAIL
  A Molotov cocktail is a ﬂask containing a ﬂammable liquid, 
  plugged with a rag. 
  A Molotov cocktail is easily made by hand (Craft 
  [chemical] check DC 10 or Intelligence check DC 15). To 
  use it, the rag must ﬁrst be lit, requiring a move action (and 
  a lighter or other source of ﬂame). The cocktail detonates in 
  2 rounds or on impact with a solid object, whichever comes 
  ﬁrst. A target that takes a direct hit is dealt an additional 
  1d6 points of ﬁre damage in the following round and risks 
  catching on ﬁre.
  PISTOL WHIP
  Using a handgun as a melee weapon can deal greater damage 
  than attacking unarmed. No weight or purchase DC is given 
  for this weapon, since both vary depending on the handgun 
  used.
  RIFLE BUTT
  The butt of a riﬂe can be used as an impromptu club.
  RIFLE, WINCHESTER 94
  The Winchester Model 94 Big Bore is a lever-action riﬂe 
  typical of big-bore hunting riﬂes found around the world. 
  
  CHAPTER 2: ZOMBIE HUNTING
  Shotguns are more impressive, but a big ‘ole hunting riﬂe 
  does the job in a pinch.
  SHAOLIN SPADE
  The ancestor of the modern zombie hunter is the Shaolin 
  Monk.  Shaolin Monks were so good at dealing with the 
  undead that they turned this six-foot agricultural tool into 
  a de-zombifying weapon.  It has a ﬂat-bell-shaped blade 
  on one end and a crescent blade on the other.  The crescent 
  blade can pierce zombies to keep them at bay while the bell-
  shaped blade is great for decapitation. 
  A Shaolin spade can be used to strike opponents 10 
  feet away, but can’t be used against an adjacent foe. A 
  character can ﬁght with a Shaolin spade as if ﬁghting with 
  two weapons, but if he or she does, all the normal attack 
  penalties associated with ﬁghting with two weapons apply, 
  as if the character was using a one-handed weapon and a 
  light weapon.
  SHOTGUN, REMINGTON 700
  A bolt-action riﬂe with a reputation for accuracy, the 
  Remington 700 has been popular with hunters and target 
  shooters since its introduction in the 1940s. Whether it’s 
  zombies, doors, or more zombies, shotguns get the job done.  
  They blow through everything, make a lot of noise, and are 
  especially useful for silencing a room.  Shotguns: the last 
  word in witty repartee.
  SHOVEL
  So you’ve just hacked up your zombie girlfriend.  Now 
  what, hotshot?  Bury her, of course.  But what are you 
  gonna bury her with, hmm?  We’ve got your answer right 
  here.  And just in case she, say, happens to come back as 
  a pirouetting corpse of zombie goodness, the shovel can 
  remove ﬁve pounds of ugly ex-girlfriend head. Digging 
  graves, decapitation—there’s nothing a good Y-Mart shovel 
  can’t do.
  SICKLE
  This weapon is like a farmer’s sickle, but is strengthened 
  for use as a weapon. You might have heard some rumor that 
  sickles are for cutting grain or tall grass.  Don’t listen to that 
  crazy talk—sickles were made for slicing up zombie like ﬁne 
  ham.   
  SUBMACHINE GUN, HK MP5
  While the gatling gun certainly has its appeal, there’s 
  something to be said for ﬁring thousands of bullets into 
  shambling zombies at close range. Since zombies tend 
  to swarm, this is a Good Thing™. It may not have much 
  ﬁnesse, but the submachine gun gets the job done.
  Due to its high quality of manufacture, the HK MP5 is 
  always considered a mastercraft weapon. As such, it grants a 
  +1 bonus on attack rolls. This weapon features a three-round 
  burst setting. When used with the Burst Fire feat, it ﬁres only 
  three bullets instead of ﬁve and can be used with only three 
  bullets in the weapon. This setting does not grant the ability 
  to make burst ﬁre attacks without the Burst Fire feat; if a 
  character uses the setting without the feat, he or she makes a 
  normal attack, and the extra two bullets are wasted.
  TRENCH SPIKE
  Trench spikes are aptly named, practical weapons.  A trench 
  spike is a set of brass knuckles topped by a seven-inch steel 
  spike at the top.  It originally saw use in World War I, when 
  soldiers struggled in the muck of the trenches and needed 
  to dispatch the enemy with a quick blow to a helmeted 
  head.  What’s that?  Not sure what to do with a trench spike?  
  Here’s a hint: most zombies don’t wear helmets. 
  Trench spikes allow the wielder to deal lethal damage 
  with an unarmed strike (instead of nonlethal). A strike with 
  a trench spike is otherwise considered a normal unarmed 
  attack.  When used by a character with the Brawl feat, trench 
  spikes increase the base damage dealt by an unarmed strike 
  by +1d6 and turn the damage into lethal damage.
  AMMUNITION
  ARMOR PIERCING 
  Armor piercing rounds increase the damage of a weapon by 
  +1.  This damage cannot be reduced by armor.
  EX PLOSIVE
  Explosive rounds increase the damage of a weapon by +3.
  INCENDIARY
  Incendiary rounds shatter on impact and ignite, spreading 
  ﬁre over any target.  Incendiary rounds deal an additional 
  1d6 points of ﬁre damage when they strike a target.  The ﬁre 
  damage has an area effect of 5 feet and continues to burn for 
  1d6 rounds, causing an additional 1d6 points of ﬁre damage 
  every round until extinguished.
  SHRAPNEL 
  Shrapnel rounds can only be used in a shotgun and increases 
  the damage of the weapon by +2.  
    
  PROSTHETICS
  Okay, so you screwed up. A zombie took a chunk out of 
  you.  The part of your body connected to that chunk took on 
  a mind of its own.  So you did what any reasonable person 
  would do… you hacked it off.
  TABLE 2-2: AMMUNITION
  Type (Quantity)
  Purchase DC
  Armor Piercing (20)
  5
  Explosive (20)
  8
  Incendiary (20)
  10
  Shrapnel (20)
  6
  
  20 of 67
  CHAPTER 2: ZOMBIE HUNTING
  The downside is that you’ll probably go into shock 
  and bleed to death.  The upside is that if you survive the 
  experience, you can fashion yourself a really keen set of 
  attachments ﬁlled with zombie-slaying goodness.
  If the remaining hand is your “off” hand, you can apply 
  only one-half of your Strength bonus to your damage rolls.  
  So what do you put on top of that nasty stump?  Glad you 
  asked!
  CAP
  A leather cap or something like it covers the stump at the 
  wrist.  
  You cannot use any tools or weapons requiring two hands, 
  although you can strike opponents with your stump as if 
  it were a ﬁst.  Reloading time for all guns is doubled, due 
  to the difﬁculty of manipulating the weapon and holding it 
  ﬁrmly in place (see the Feats section for how to get around 
  this problem).  Climb and Swim checks suffer a –4 penalty. 
  HOOK
  Arr matey!  So ye wants a hook like the pirates, do ye?  
  Okay freak, ﬁne.  
  Hooks are considered exotic melee weapons that inﬂict 
  1d6 points of piercing damage (x2 damage on a critical hit).  
  You can use a two-handed hafted weapon (but not a sword) 
  at a –4 penalty.  Reloading time for all guns is doubled, due 
  to the difﬁculty of manipulating the weapon and holding it 
  ﬁrmly in place (see the Feats section for how to get around 
  this problem).  Climb checks suffer a –2 penalty and Swim 
  checks suffer a –4 penalty. 
  INTERCHANGEABLE
  The best kind of prosthesis—indeed, interchangeable 
  attachments are the reason it’s worth hacking your hand off.  
  With a convenient hole bored into the covering of the stump, 
  a series of attachments can be mounted and locked with a 
  twist.  
  Creating an interchangeable prosthesis requires a Craft 
  (mechanical) check (DC 20).  Once the prosthetic is 
  completed, you can use just about any tool or one-handed 
  weapon that has been modiﬁed to mount onto the stump. 
  This modiﬁcation adds 50% to the cost of the tool or 
  weapon.  Because you still don’t have the use of your wrist, 
  most tools and all non-missile weapons suffer a –2 penalty 
  to use.
  METAL HAND
  On a successful Craft (mechanical) check (DC 30), you 
  can create a fully functional hand made of metal.  The hand 
  is sturdier than a normal hand and can be used to block 
  weapons, grab hot objects, and punch zombie faces inside 
  out.  It inﬂicts lethal instead of nonlethal damage in combat, 
  has 50 hit points and a hardness of 10, and can be used to 
  block weapons by adding a +1 bonus to the character’s 
  Defense as if it were a shield.
  COMBAT TECHNIQUES
  It’s one thing to be able to ﬁre a gun.  It’s entirely another to 
  unload a full round of ammunition into a zombie’s head one-
  handed and blindfolded.  These rules won’t help you do any 
  of that, but they’ll give your Gamemaster some guidelines 
  for discouraging your foolhardy zombie slaying antics.
  Except for the Critical Damage to Undead table.  We’re 
  pretty sure that table actually encourages people to lay the 
  smackdown on the living impaired.
  RELOADING, ONE-HANDED
  Cocking a riﬂe one-handed is a move-equivalent action and 
  provokes an attack of opportunity. Cocking a lever-action 
  riﬂe usually requires two hands to cock as a free action.  You 
  can cock a lever-action riﬂe one-handed as a free action with 
  a successful Dexterity check (DC 15). If the check fails by 
  more than 5, you drop the riﬂe.
  SHOTGUNS
  Shotguns and sawed-off shotguns ﬁre a shell that contains a 
  dozen or so .32 caliber bullets.  This shot spreads out rapidly 
  as it leaves the barrel, covering a larger area the further from 
  the barrel the shot travels. 
  A character ﬁring a shotgun gains a +1 bonus to his ranged 
  attack roll and an additional +1 for each range increment 
  beyond the ﬁrst, to a maximum bonus of +3.  This represents 
  the widening spread of the shot pattern.  Normal range 
  modiﬁers still apply, although the shotgun’s spread pattern 
  bonus can help to offset range penalties.
  However, a shotgun’s damage is reduced the further from 
  the barrel the target is.   
  Range
  Damage
  Attack Bonus
  Touching
  4d6
  0
  First increment
  3d6
  +1
  Second increment
  2d6
  +2
  Third increment and beyond
  1d6
  +3
  Due to the spread of the shot, a shotgun is ineffective 
  beyond six range increments. Because of the nature of the 
  spreading shot, the Far Shot feat does not provide any bonus 
  to a character ﬁring a shotgun loaded with buckshot.
  SHOTGUNS, DOUBLE-BARRELED
  Double-barreled shotguns have two barrels (that’s why they 
  call it “double” barreled, get it?).  Each barrel is loaded 
  with a single shell, with a separate trigger and hammer for 
  each barrel.  A character can ﬁre both barrels in one attack, 
  inﬂicting double damage against a single target.  A character 
  TABLE 2-3: PROSTHETICS
  Prosthetic
  Hit Points
  Hardness
  Hook
  30
  10
  Metal hand*
  50
  10
  
  CHAPTER 2: ZOMBIE HUNTING
  with two or more attacks per round may attack two separate 
  targets by ﬁring one barrel at each.
  SHOOTING, ONE-HANDED
  Any attempt to shoot a riﬂe or full-sized shotgun one-handed 
  causes a –4 penalty to attack rolls.  Sawed-off shotguns are 
  a little easier to control with one hand, so they only incur a 
  –2 attack penalty. Loading any ﬁrearm one-handed doubles 
  the normal reloading time for that gun and requires a Reﬂex 
  save (DC 10); on a failed save, the shooter drops his weapon 
  and ammunition.
  SHOOTING, OVER THE SHOULDER
  You can ﬁre over your shoulder at a target directly behind 
  you without looking.  Targets behind you are considered to 
  have total concealment, and thus ranged attacks directed 
  against them have a 50% chance of missing.  This tactic is 
  most often used when a zombie is at point-blank range and 
  right behind you.
  SUPPRESSIVE FIRE
  Suppressive ﬁre doesn’t work on zombies—they’re too 
  stupid to dodge, too mean to duck, and too numb to feel 
  the bullets.  Zombies just keep coming (although they jerk 
  around like meaty marionettes when hit by automatic ﬁre).
  CRITICAL DAMAGE TO UNDEAD
  Yeah, yeah, we know: undead are immune to critical hits.  
  But everybody knows that’s not true—they know it when 
  they bash a zombie’s head right off with a shovel or when 
  they blow a zombie’s face off with a shotgun.  
  Is the zombie in pain?  No.  
  Will the zombie be modeling for the latest in jeans 
  fashion?  Deﬁnitely not.  
  So critical hits do, in fact, affect zombies and other 
  undead.  Upon a critical hit against the living dead, instead 
  of resolving critical hit damage normally, roll 1d100 and 
  use the table 2-4 to see what’s left of the zombie.  After 
  determining the d100 result, roll again on the indicated 
  sub-table (1d4, 1d6, 1d8, or 1d10 as appropriate) to ﬁnd 
  the speciﬁc critical damage effect.  On a roll of 100, the 
  zombie’s head is obliterated and (depending on the zombie) 
  the creature is instantly destroyed.
  Any critical hit roll over 40 indicates a spurt of blood 
  from the zombie.  Depending on the type of zombie, this 
  may spread the infection.  To dodge the zombie’s spurt of 
  blood, anyone within 10 feet of the zombie must make a 
  Reﬂex save (DC 10 + CR of zombie).  Failure means the 
  subject gets spattered with zombie blood (which may require 
  additional saving throws or have no effect, depending on 
  the type of zombie).  The results indicated on this critical hit 
  chart are used instead of the normal effects of a critical hit.
  Alternately, the Gamemaster can decide that a zombie 
  continues to be animated until it is at 0 hit points.  For every 
  point of damage below 0, the Gamemaster checks the below 
  table.
  For example, if a zombie suffers enough damage to put it 
  at –10 hit points; the Gamemaster consults the table and rolls 
  1d4.  The zombie suffers a damaged knee (-4 Dexterity and 
  –30 speed). 
  The zombie will continue to take damage until an attacker 
  achieves a critical hit with a piercing weapon or it suffers 
  over 100 points of damage – in game terms, that’s a terminal 
  blow to the zombie’s head.  
  FEAR AND LOATHING
  The zombie hunter who tells you he’s not afraid is a big, fat, 
  stinky liar.  Zombie hunters who survive learn to master their 
  fear, but they’re still afraid.  The ones who don’t get a handle 
  on their fear begin to fall apart at the seams, piece by piece, 
  until they go loco and start shooting everybody.  After all, 
  a living human is just a “zombie that ain’t happened yet.”  
  Sanity and trust: two precious commodities in a mad, mad 
  world.
  MADNESS
  Sometimes, the people you have to worry about most 
  aren’t the ones who are stumbling around moaning.  It’s the 
  hyperactive guy with a belt full of dangling grenades and 
  one AK-47 in each arm that hasn’t had any sleep for the past 
  three days.  Zombies tend to be slow and, well, dead.  The 
  warm-blooded folks with the itchy trigger ﬁngers are often 
  not above shooting everything with two arms and legs, “just 
  to be sure.” 
  It’s enough to make a man go mad.  These rules will just 
  make things worse. 
  All characters begin with a Madness Rating (MR) of 25 
  minus their Wisdom.  When a character’s Madness Rating 
  (MR) reaches 25, the character goes insane.  A rating of 0 is 
  a normal, well-adjusted person.  
  A character must make a Madness Check anytime one of 
  the following happens:
  Injury: Whenever a character loses 50% or more of his hit 
  points to a single attack.
  Death: Any time a character witnesses the death of a party 
  member or loved one.
  Supernatural: Any time a character sees an FX used or 
  encounters a monster.
  The Gamemaster may also call for a Madness Check 
  anytime the character witnesses a horrifying or disturbing 
  sight or event, or if the character suffers an experience 
  that has the potential to rattle or unhinge his or her sanity 
  (such as being trapped in a pitch-black closet for hours 
  while hungry zombies outside moan and hammer on the 
  door).  Each event that triggers a Madness Check is given a 
  Madness Rating that reﬂects the severity of the horrifying 
  experience; if the character fails the Madness Check, the 
  event’s Madness Rating is added to the character’s own 
  Madness Rating.  An event with a Madness Rating of 1 
  might be a mildly frightening or scary experience, whereas 
  
  22 of 67
  CHAPTER 2: ZOMBIE HUNTING
  a Madness Rating of 10 represents a truly mind-shattering, 
  sanity-shaking nightmare.  There are plenty of opportunities 
  to make a character go bonkers, and unfortunately zombies 
  are just chock full of mind-snapping goodness.  Below are 
  just a few examples of events that can trigger a Madness 
  Check, along with their Madness Ratings:
  Watching a friend or loved one eaten by a zombie (GM's 
  option, typically 1 to 5 MR).
  Watching a friend or loved one become a zombie (GM's 
  option, typically 5 to 10 MR).
  Listening to zombie moaning (+1 MR/hour).
  A Madness Check consists of a Will save (DC 6 + MR 
  modiﬁers).  This roll is modiﬁed by circumstances and the 
  character’s current Madness Rating, as detailed in the table 
  2-6.  A character who fails his Madness Check is pushed 
  closer to the edge of insanity and goes temporarily mad; 
  he adds the triggering event’s Madness Rating to his own 
  Madness Rating and rolls 1d100 on the Madness Effect table 
  2-5 below to determine the type and effect of his temporary 
  madness.
  The effects of madness can be quite severe.  If a 
  character’s Madness Rating ever reaches 25, or if his 
  Dexterity, Constitution, or Charisma is reduced to 0, 
  TABLE 2-4: CRITICAL HITS
  D100
  Sub-Table
  Description
  Effect
  01-10
  1
  Damaged leg tendons
  -1 Dexterity, -10 Speed
  2
  Damaged ankle
  -2 Dexterity, -20 Speed
  3
  Spinal damage bends torso
  -3 Dexterity, -40 Speed
  4
  Damaged knee
  -4 Dexterity, -30 Speed
  11-20
  1-2
  Nose damaged
  -3 Charisma
  3-4
  Eye damaged
  -2 Charisma
  5-6
  Head wound
  +1d4 damage, stunned and ﬂat-footed for 1d4 rounds
  21-30
  1-2
  Hand damage
  -1 Strength, -1 Dexterity
  3-4
  Arm damaged
  +1d4 points of damage, -4 attack penalty to all rolls made with wounded arm for 1d6 rounds 
  unless healed.  Immediately drop anything held in that arm
  5-6
  Thigh damaged
  +1d4 damage, base speed is halved, -4 to Climb and Swim checks for 1d6 hours
  7-8
  Spine damage
  -3 Dexterity
  9-10
  Fingers damaged
  -2 Dexterity
  31-40
  1-2
  Deep stomach wound
  +1d4 damage, suffer an additional 1d6 damage every half hour for 5d6 hours unless healed
  3-4
  Intestinal wound
  Staggered, may only take partial actions for 1d6 rounds unless healed
  5-6
  Damaged throat
  +1d6 damage, stunned and ﬂat-footed; attacker must make Fort save (DC damage inﬂicted) or 
  suffer a –4 penalty to avoid blood spurt
  41-50
  1
  Concussion
  -2 Wisdom
  2
  Head wound
  Concentration check required to use any Int-based skill
  3
  Depth perception damaged
  -2 penalty to ranged attacks
  4
  Multiple cuts to face
  -2 Charisma
  51-60
  1
  Leg severed
  –4 penalty to Balance, Climb, Escape Artist, Jump, Move Silently, Ride, Swim, Tumble, Use 
  Rope checks, Reﬂex saving throws, and Dexterity checks, speed reduced by 2/3 
  2
  Broken ankle bones cause limping
  -4 Dexterity, -20 Speed
  3
  Spinal damage
  -6 Dexterity, -40 Speed
  4
  Shattered knee that cannot bend
  -8 Dexterity, -30 Speed
  61-70
  1-2
  Nose sliced away
  -6 Charisma
  3-4
  Lose eye
  –4 Charisma
  5-6
  Ear severed
  -2 to Listen checks, initiative checks
  71-80
  1-2
  Hand severed
  -2 Strength, -2 Dexterity
  3-4
  Slab of arm muscle cut away
  -4 Strength
  5-6
  Chunk hewn from thigh
  -4 Strength, -4 Dexterity
  7-8
  Spinal nerve damage
  -6 Dexterity
  9-10
  Fingers severed
  -4 Dexterity
  81-90
  1-2
  Punctured lungs
  -6 Charisma
  3-4
  Deep stomach wound
  -8 Charisma
  5-6
  Intestinal wound
  -10 Charisma
  7-8
  Punctured kidneys
  -2 Charisma
  9-10
  Punctured liver
  -4 Charisma
  91-92
  Vocal-cord severed
  Mute, no verbal casting, use Bluff to speak through sign language
  93-94
  Nerve damage
  -3 Dexterity in one arm
  95-96
  Severed arm
  -6 Dexterity
  97-98
  Nerve damage to both arms
  -4 Dexterity in both arms
  99
  Awful mutilation
  -3 Charisma, -3 Dexterity
  100
  Head destroyed
  Destroyed, or at -4 Charisma, -4 Dexterity, -4 Strength if the zombie has Damage Reduction 
  10/Piercing
  
  CHAPTER 2: ZOMBIE HUNTING
  he goes completely insane; at 
  that point, control of the insane 
  character reverts to the Gamemaster.  
  Similarly, if a character’s Wisdom 
  ever drops to 0 or below as a result 
  of madness-related ability loss, he 
  has lost all perspective and will 
  to live, and immediately commits 
  suicide with the nearest weapon.  
  Madness Effects and related ability 
  losses are cumulative.
  Fortunately, this madness is not 
  permanent.  A character’s Madness 
  Rating decreases over time.  For 
  every hour that a character spends 
  in relative peace and quiet (that is, 
  without having to make any further 
  Madness Checks), his Madness 
  Rating decreases by 1.  For every 3 points that his Madness 
  Rating decreases in this manner, the character regains 1d4 
  ability points lost to madness and can remove his most recent 
  Madness Effect.  The character’s Madness Rating can never 
  drop below his starting Madness Rating.  Characters whose 
  Madness Ratings are reduced to their starting levels recover 
  any remaining ability losses at the rate of one point per full 
  day of rest.  A character with a Madness Rating of 25 or 
  higher is hopelessly insane and cannot reduce his Madness 
  Rating by resting; nothing short of a miracle (like powerful 
  magic or divine intervention) can bring him back from the 
  depths of true insanity.
  TABLE 2-5: MADNESS EFFECTS
  D100
  Madness
  Ability Drain
  Effect
  01-10
  Combat Shock
  --
  The character must make a Will save (DC current MR) when under stress or be Dazed for 1d4 rounds.
  11-30
  Hysteria
  -1d4 Wisdom
  The character must make a Will save (DC current MR) when under stress or begin laughing 
  hysterically as the hideous laughter spell.
  31-50
  Hemophobia
  -1d4 Wisdom
  The character must make a Will save (DC current MR) at the sight of blood or run screaming for 1d4 
  rounds in a random direction.
  51-55
  Delusions
  -1d4 Charisma
  The character is randomly affected by ﬁgments, as per the illusion spell.
  56-60
  Withdrawal
  -1d4 Charisma
  The character must make a Will save (DC current MR) when under stress or Cower for 1d4 rounds.
  61-70
  No Sleep
  -1d4 Constitution
  The character must make a Will save (DC current MR) each day or be Fatigued
  71-75
  Mental Exhaustion
  -1d4 Dexterity
  The character must make a Will save (DC current MR) each day or be Exhausted.
  76-85
  Lethargy
  -1d4 Dexterity
  The character must make a Will save (DC current MR) or immediately go to Sleep.
  86-90
  Panic
  -1d4 Wisdom
  The character must make a Will save (DC current MR) during stressful situations or act as per the 
  confusion spell for one round.
  91-95
  Mania
  -1d4 Charisma
  The character must make a Will save (DC current MR) during stressful situations or lash out at the 
  nearest victim in a rage as per the barbarian rage ability.
  96-100
  Catatonia
  -1d4 Charisma
  The character must make a Will save (DC current MR) or immediately become Unconscious.
  TABLE 2-6: MADNESS MODIFIERS
  Condition
  Madness DC Modiﬁer
  Character has recently killed a zombie or other monster
  -1/CR of monster
  Character has recently acquired a weapon
  -Max damage/2
  Character leaves area that triggered check
  -5
  Character Madness Rating: 0-2
  +4
  Madness Rating: 3-5
  +2
  Madness Rating: 6-8
  +1
  Madness Rating: 9-10
  0
  Madness Rating: 11-12
  -2
  Madness Rating: 13-14
  -4
  Madness Rating: 15-17
  -6
  Madness Rating: 17-19
  -8
  Madness Rating: 20-21
  -10
  Madness Rating: 22-24
  -12
  Madness Rating: 25+
  N/A
  Monster
  +1/CR of monster
  FX
  +1/FX level
  TRUST
  Zombies are ultimately us—just slower, smellier, and a lot 
  less conversational.  When a zombie contagion is about, it 
  becomes increasingly difﬁcult to distinguish the good guys 
  from the brain-slurping bad guys.  That’s when trust comes 
  into play.
  Normally, it’s assumed that all party members and allied 
  NPCs trust each other.  After all, they have no reason not 
  to.  But when word gets out that anyone could turn into a 
  zombie once they’ve been bitten or sneezed at, trust starts to 
  break down. Allies begin to wonder if their buddy is hiding 
  a zombie bite… or if maybe you can contract zombie fever 
  just by touching them!
  TABLE 2-7: TRUST
  Trust
  Means
  Possible Actions
  Hostile
  Will take risks to hurt or avoid you
  Attack, interfere, berate, ﬂee
  Unfriendly
  Wishes you ill
  Mislead, gossip, avoid, watch suspiciously, insult
  Indifferent
  Doesn’t much care
  Act as socially expected
  Friendly
  Wishes you well
  Chat, advise, offer limited help, advocate
  Helpful
  Will take risks to help you
  Protect, back up, heal, aid
  
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  CHAPTER 2: ZOMBIE HUNTING
  TABLE 2-8: TRUST MODIFIERS
  Modiﬁer
  Action
  +1
  Give ammunition to an NPC
  +2
  Heal NPC
  +3
  NPC witnesses PC attack a hostile zombie
  +4
  NPC witnesses blood test
  +max damage Give weapon to NPC
  +CR
  Kill a zombie
  -1
  During an attack with an enemy, PC fails to take part
  -2
  PC accidentally harms an ally during combat
  -3
  Take an NPC’s weapon away from him
  -4
  Use a taser on an NPC to calm him down
  -5
  Force an NPC to do something through coercion
  -6
  PC intentionally harms an ally.
  -7
  NPC witnesses an ally intentionally murdered
  Diplomacy can be used to inﬂuence an NPC’s trust. 
  The GM chooses the NPC’s initial trust level based 
  on the immediate circumstances and the way the PCs 
  present themselves. Most of the time, the people the 
  heroes meet are indifferent toward them, but a speciﬁc 
  situation may call for a different initial level of trust. The 
  accompanying table 2-7 describes the ﬁve basic levels of 
  trust that dictate an NPC’s attitude towards the PCs.  If 
  a character attempts to improve an NPC’s trust level, he 
  must succeed at a Diplomacy check using the DC listed 
  for the NPC’s current trust level.  If the Diplomacy check 
  succeeds, the NPC’s trust increases by one level (e.g. 
  from “hostile” to “unfriendly,” or “friendly to helpful”).  
  If the check fails, the NPC is unmoved; failure by 5 or 
  more may (at the Gamemaster’s discretion) actually 
  decrease the NPC’s trust level.
  Certain actions and circumstances, such as those listed on 
  Table 2-8, can modify Diplomacy checks made to inﬂuence 
  an NPC’s trust level.
  
  CHAPTER 3: ZOMBIE FX
  CHAPTER 
  THREE: 
  ZOMBIE FX
  Necromancers, bokors, and psychokinetics all 
  have a knack for animating the dead.  These 
  spells and powers are how they do it. And if 
  you don’t happen to be any of the above but 
  ﬁgure you can cast spells anyway… hey, knock 
  yourself out.  But don’t come crying to us when you turn all 
  your neighbors into zombies…
  SPELLCASTING & MAGIC 
  DEVICES
  Spellcasting is a complex task.  It’s not something the 
  uninitiated should enter into lightly.  Those guys casting 
  ﬁreballs are professionals, kids, so don’t try this at home.
  But of course, you’re going to try anyway.  And you won’t 
  have a clue what to do with the spell you’re reading out 
  loud, or exactly how to pronounce the words.  That’s okay, 
  “neckie” or “niktoo,” it’s all the same, right?
  Wrong.  While a normal Joe is welcome to try casting a 
  spell by reciting an incantation or reading from a spellbook, 
  the consequences for failure can be painful at best.  
  A non-spellcaster can attempt to cast a spell by using the 
  Spellcraft skill to cast a spell with verbal components only.  
  Since only spellcasting classes can actually buy ranks in the 
  Spellcraft skill, this skill is used untrained.  Alternatively, a 
  non-spellcaster can also read from a spell or spellbook by 
  making an untrained Use Magic Device skill check.
  Failing either check by 5 or more causes the character to 
  suffer a backlash of glowing red magical bolts of energy.  
  Although he is not harmed, he’s stunned for one round, and 
  the spell isn’t cast.
  Failing the check by 10 means the spell has a negative, 
  unintended effect.  It’s usually something opposite to the 
  intended effect, except in an instance where the caster might 
  beneﬁt from such a mishap.  In the latter case, it’s some 
  other awful effect that occurs.  The sky’s the limit with what 
  can happen.
  NEW POWERS
  Each time the manifester uses one of the powers described 
  below, his Madness Rating increases by a number equal 
  to the level of the power manifested.  At the manifester’s 
  discretion, he can choose to make a Madness Check instead 
  to avoid the increase in MR. Success means he suffers no 
  Madness Rating increase or other ill effects; failure means 
  he gains the appropriate MR and a randomly rolled insanity 
  (see the chapter 2 for more details on insanity).
  Some powers automatically require a Madness Check on 
  the part of the manifester or the victim, in addition to the 
  Madness Rating increase described above.
  AWAKEN THE DEAD
  Psychokinesis (Con)
  Level: Psychokinetic 5
  Display: Visual
  Manifestation Time: 1 action
  Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
  Target: One dead creature
  Duration: Instantaneous
  Saving Throw: None
  Power Resistance: No
  Power Points: 7
  This power allows the manifester to animate the dead. 
  The manifester can animate one HD of an undead corpse 
  per manifester level.  If the targeted being has no body, it 
  reanimates as a ghost.  If it has only bones, it reanimates as a 
  skeleton.  If it has ﬂesh, it reanimates as a zombie.
  If an undead being was killed but its corpse is still intact, 
  this power reanimates the undead being and restores it to 
  full strength. Created undead are not automatically under 
  the control of their animator. If the manifester is capable 
  of commanding undead, the manifester may attempt to 
  command the undead creature as it forms.
  Using this power requires a Madness Check on the part of 
  the manifester.
  SEVER THE TIE
  Psychokinesis (Con)
  Level: Psychokinetic 5
  Display: Audible
  Manifestation Time: 1 action
  Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
  Area: All undead creatures within a 10-ft.-radius burst
  Duration: Instantaneous
  Saving Throw: Will half
  Power Resistance: Yes
  Power Points: 3 
  This power disrupts an undead creature’s tie to the Negative 
  Energy Plane, damaging or destroying the creature. Sever 
  the Tie deals 3d8 points of damage to all undead within the 
  targeted area. Undead that are brought to 0 hit points or 
  below by use of the power fall limply and molder into dust 
  (if corporeal), or slowly disperse (if incorporeal).
  UNDEAD SENSE
  Clairsentience (Wis)
  Level: Psychokinetic 3
  Display: Visual
  Manifestation Time: 1 action
  Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
  Effect: Spread of 25-ft.-radius + 5 ft./2 levels, centered on 
  you
  
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  CHAPTER 3: ZOMBIE FX
  Duration: 10 minutes/level (D)
  Saving Throw: None
  Power Resistance: No
  Power Points: 5
  The manifester senses the presence of undead. While the 
  duration lasts, the manifester becomes aware of the presence 
  and general location of undead within the affected space. 
  The type of undead is not revealed, but numbers are.
  NEW SPELLS
  These new spells work like the new powers—each time 
  the caster casts one of the below spells, his Madness 
  Rating increases by a number equal to the level of the spell 
  cast.  At the caster’s discretion, he can choose to make a 
  Madness Check instead to avoid the increase in MR. Success 
  means he suffers no ill effects; failure means he gains the 
  appropriate MR and a randomly rolled insanity (see the 
  chapter 2 for more details on insanity). 
  Some spells automatically require a Madness Check on the 
  part of the caster or the victim, in addition to the Madness 
  Rating increase described above.
  BLIGHT
  Necromancy
  Level: Arcane 5
  Components: V, S, DF
  Casting Time: 1 standard action
  Range: Touch
  Duration: Instantaneous
  Saving Throw: Fortitude half; see text
  Spell Resistance: Yes
  This spell withers a single plant of any size. An affected 
  plant creature takes 1d6 points of damage per caster level 
  (maximum 15d6) and may attempt a Fortitude saving throw 
  for half damage. A plant that isn’t a creature doesn’t receive 
  a save and immediately withers and dies.
  This spell has no effect on the soil or surrounding plant 
  life.
  BLINDNESS/ DEAFNESS
  Necromancy
  Level: Arcane 2
  Components: V
  Casting Time: 1 standard action
  Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
  Target: One living creature
  Duration: Permanent (D)
  Saving Throw: Fortitude negates
  Spell Resistance: Yes
  You call upon the powers of unlife to render the subject blind 
  or deaf (your choice).
  CLAMMY TOUCH
  Necromancy
  Level: Arcane 1
  Components: V, S
  Casting Time: 1 standard action
  Range: Touch
  Targets: Creature or creatures touched (up to one/level)
  Duration: Instantaneous
  Saving Throw: Fortitude partial or Will negates; see text
  Spell Resistance: Yes
  A touch from your hand, which glows with blue energy, 
  disrupts the life force of living creatures. Each touch 
  channels negative energy that deals 1d6 points of damage. 
  The touched creature also takes 1 point of Strength damage 
  unless it makes a successful Fortitude saving throw. You can 
  use this melee touch attack up to once per level.
  An undead creature you touch takes no damage of either 
  sort, but it must make a successful Will saving throw or ﬂee 
  as if panicked for 1d4 rounds +1 round per caster level.
  A living creature that dies from this spell’s damage rises 
  as a cryonoid zombie 1d6 rounds later.  It is not under the 
  control of the caster but can be controlled through spells or 
  the command undead ability.
  COMMAND ZOMBIE
  Necromancy
  Level: Arcane 2
  Components: V, S, M
  Casting Time: 1 standard action
  Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
  Targets: One zombie
  Duration: One day/level
  Saving Throw: Will negates; see text
  Spell Resistance: Yes
  This spell allows you some degree of control over a zombie. 
  Assuming the zombie is intelligent, it perceives your words 
  and actions in the most favorable way (treat its attitude as 
  friendly). It will not attack you while the spell lasts. You can 
  try to give the zombie orders, but you must win an opposed 
  Charisma check to convince it to do anything it wouldn’t 
  ordinarily do. (Retries are not allowed.) An intelligent 
  commanded zombie never obeys suicidal or obviously 
  harmful orders, but it might be convinced that something 
  very dangerous is worth doing.
  A non-intelligent zombie gets no saving throw against 
  this spell. When you control a mindless zombie, you can 
  communicate only basic commands, such as “come here,” 
  “go there,” “ﬁght,” “stand still,” and so on. Non-intelligent 
  zombies won’t resist suicidal or obviously harmful orders.
  Any act by you or your apparent allies that threatens the 
  commanded zombie (regardless of its Intelligence) breaks 
  the spell.
  Your commands are not telepathic. The zombie must be 
  able to hear you.
  
  CHAPTER 3: ZOMBIE FX
  Material Component: A shred of raw meat and a splinter 
  of bone.
  CONTROL ZOMBIE
  Necromancy
  Level: Arcane 5
  Components: V, S, M
  Casting Time: 1 standard action
  Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
  Targets: Up to 2 HD/level of zombies, no two of which 
  can be more than 30 ft. apart
  Duration: 1 min./level
  Saving Throw: Will negates
  Spell Resistance: Yes
  This spell enables you to command zombies for a short 
  period of time. You command them by voice and they 
  understand you, no matter what language you speak. Even if 
  vocal communication is impossible, the controlled zombies 
  do not attack you. At the end of the spell, the subjects revert 
  to their normal behavior.
  Intelligent zombies remember that you controlled them.
  Material Component: A shred of raw meat and a splinter 
  of bone.
  CREATE GREATER ZOMBIE
  Necromancy [Evil]
  Level: Arcane 5, Divine 5
  Components: V, S, M
  Casting Time: 1 hour
  Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
  Target: One corpse
  Duration: Instantaneous
  Saving Throw: None
  Spell Resistance: No
  Much more potent than animate dead, this evil spell allows 
  you to create more powerful sorts of zombies. The type (or 
  types) of undead you can create is based on your caster level, 
  as shown on the table below.
  Caster Level
  Zombie Created
  11th or lower
  Templar Zombie
  12th–14th
  Fog Zombie
  15th–17th
  Revenant Zombie
  18th or higher
  Zombie Lord
  You may create less powerful zombies than your level 
  would allow if you choose. Created zombies are not 
  automatically under the control of their animator. If you 
  are capable of commanding zombies, you may attempt to 
  command the zombie as it forms. This spell must be cast at 
  night.
  Casting this spell requires a Madness Check on the part of 
  the caster.
  Material Component: A clay pot ﬁlled with grave dirt and 
  another ﬁlled with brackish water. The spell must be cast on 
  a dead body. You must place a black onyx gem (purchase DC 
  15 + 1 per 1 HD of the zombie to be created) into the mouth 
  or eye socket of each corpse. The magic of the spell turns 
  these gems into worthless shells.
  CREATE OKOKIYAT
  Necromancy [Evil]
  Level: Divine 2
  Components: V, S, M
  Casting Time: Attack action
  Range: Touch
  Target: One or more corpses touched
  Duration: Instantaneous
  Saving Throw: None
  Spell Resistance: No
  This spell turns the bodies of dead creatures into okokiyat 
  zombies that follow the caster’s spoken commands. The 
  okokiyat zombies can follow the caster, or can remain in a 
  speciﬁed area and attack any creature (or just a speciﬁc type 
  of creature) entering the place. The okokiyat zombies remain 
  animated until they are destroyed. (A destroyed okokiyat 
  zombie can’t be animated again.)
  A single casting of create okokiyat can’t create more HD 
  of okokiyat zombies than twice the caster’s level.
  The okokiyat zombies created by this spell remain under 
  caster’s control indeﬁnitely. No matter how many times the 
  caster uses this spell, however, he or she can control only 4 
  HD worth of okokiyat zombies per caster level. If the caster 
  exceeds this number, all the newly created okokiyat zombies 
  fall under his or her control, and any excess okokiyat 
  zombies from previous castings become uncontrolled 
  (the caster chooses which okokiyat zombies are released).  
  Okokiyat zombies the character commands through other 
  means (if the character has the ability to command or rebuke 
  undead) do not count toward the limit.
  Casting this spell requires a Madness Check on the part of 
  the caster.
  Material Component: Purchase DC 15 + 1 per 2 HD of 
  the undead. This item manifests itself as an ouanga—if it is 
  destroyed, the zombie is destroyed.
  CURSE WATER
  Necromancy [Evil]
  Level: Divine 1
  Components: V, S, M
  Casting Time: 1 minute
  Range: Touch
  Target: Flask of water touched
  Duration: Instantaneous
  Saving Throw: Will negates (object)
  Spell Resistance: Yes (object)
  This spell imbues a ﬂask (1 pint) of water with negative 
  energy, turning it into unholy water. Unholy water damages 
  good outsiders in the same way holy water damages undead 
  
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  CHAPTER 3: ZOMBIE FX
  and evil outsiders.
  Material Component: 5 pounds of powdered silver 
  (purchase DC 5).
  DEATH KNELL
  Necromancy [Death, Evil]
  Level: Divine 2
  Components: V, S
  Casting Time: 1 standard action
  Range: Touch
  Target: Living creature touched
  Duration: Instantaneous/10 minutes per HD of subject; 
  see text
  Saving Throw: Will negates
  Spell Resistance: Yes
  You draw forth the ebbing life force of a creature and use it 
  to fuel your own power. Upon casting this spell, you touch a 
  living creature that has –1 or fewer hit points. If the subject 
  fails its saving throw, it dies, and you gain 1d8 temporary 
  hit points and a +2 bonus to Strength. Additionally, your 
  effective caster level goes up by +1, improving spell effects 
  dependent on caster level. (This increase in effective caster 
  level does not grant you access to more spells.) These effects 
  last for 10 minutes per HD of the subject creature.
  Using this spell requires the caster to make a Madness 
  Check.
  DEATH WATCH
  Necromancy [Evil]
  Level: Divine 1
  Components: V, S
  Casting Time: 1 standard action
  Range: 30 ft.
  Area: Cone-shaped emanation
  Duration: 10 min./level
  Saving Throw: None
  Spell Resistance: No
  Using the foul sight granted by the powers of unlife, you 
  can determine the condition of creatures near death within 
  the spell’s range. You instantly know whether each creature 
  within the area is dead, fragile (alive and wounded, with 3 
  or fewer hit points left), ﬁghting off death (alive with 4 or 
  more hit points), undead, or neither alive nor dead (such as a 
  construct).
  Deathwatch sees through any spell or ability that allows 
  creatures to feign death.
  DEPRESSION
  Necromancy
  Level: Arcane 0
  Components: V, S
  Casting Time: 1 action
  Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
  Target: One person
  Duration: Instantaneous
  Saving Throw: Will negates
  Spell Resistance: Yes 
  This cantrip causes the target to fall into a momentary 
  depression. A depressed creature suffers a –1 penalty to Will 
  saves for 1 minute. 
  DETECT ZOMBIE
  Divination
  Level: Arcane 1, Divine 1
  Components: V, S, M/DF
  Casting Time: 1 standard action
  Range: 60 ft.
  Area: Cone-shaped emanation
  Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute/ level (D)
  Saving Throw: None
  Spell Resistance: No
  You can detect the aura that surrounds zombies. The amount 
  of information revealed depends on how long you study a 
  particular area.
  1st Round: Presence or absence of zombies.
  2nd Round: Number of zombies in the area and the 
  strength of the strongest zombie present. 
  3rd Round: The strength and location of each zombie aura. 
  If an aura is outside your line of sight, then you discern its 
  direction but not its exact location.
  Aura Strength: The strength of a zombie’s aura is 
  determined by the HD of the zombie, as given on the 
  following table:
  HD
  Strength
  1 or lower
  Faint
  2–4
  Moderate
  5–10
  Strong
  11 or higher
  Overwhelming
  Lingering Aura: A zombie aura lingers after its original 
  source is destroyed. If detect zombie is cast and directed at 
  such a location, the spell indicates an aura strength of dim 
  (even weaker than a faint aura). How long the aura lingers at 
  this dim level depends on its original power:
  Original Strength
  Duration of Lingering Aura
  Faint
  1d6 rounds
  Moderate
  1d6 minutes
  Strong
  1d6x10 minutes
  Overwhelming
  1d6 days
  Each round, you can turn to detect zombies in a new area. 
  The spell can penetrate barriers, but 1 foot of stone, 1 inch of 
  common metal, a thin sheet of lead, or 3 feet of wood or dirt 
  blocks it.
  Arcane Material Component: A bit of earth from a grave.
  
  CHAPTER 3: ZOMBIE FX
  DOOM
  Necromancy [Fear, Mind-Affecting]
  Level: Divine 1
  Components: V, S, DF
  Casting Time: 1 standard action
  Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
  Target: One living creature
  Duration: 1 min./level
  Saving Throw: Will negates
  Spell Resistance: Yes
  This spell ﬁlls a single subject with a feeling of horrible 
  dread that causes it to become shaken.
  ENERVATION
  Necromancy
  Level: Arcane 4
  Components: V, S
  Casting Time: 1 standard action
  Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
  Effect: Ray of negative energy
  Duration: Instantaneous
  Saving Throw: None
  Spell Resistance: Yes
  This spell releases a black ray of crackling negative energy 
  that suppresses the life force of any living creature it strikes. 
  You must make a ranged touch attack to hit. If the attack 
  succeeds, the subject gains 1d4 negative levels. Enervation 
  is cast by pointing your ﬁnger in the desired direction and 
  uttering the incantation.
  If a subject struck by the ray has at least as many negative 
  levels as HD, it dies. Each negative level incurs a –1 penalty 
  on attack rolls, saving throws, skill checks, ability checks, 
  and effective level (for determining the power, duration, DC, 
  and other details of spells or special abilities).
  Additionally, a spellcaster loses one spell or spell slot 
  from his or her highest available level for each negative level 
  suffered. Negative levels stack.
  Assuming the subject survives, it loses the negative 
  levels after a number of hours equal to your caster level 
  (maximum 15 hours). Usually, negative levels have a chance 
  of permanently reducing the victim’s level, but the negative 
  levels from enervation don’t last long enough to do so.
  An undead creature struck by the ray gains 1d4x5 
  temporary hit points for 1 hour.
  FALSE LIFE
  Necromancy
  Level: Arcane 2
  Components: V, S, M
  Casting Time: 1 standard action
  Range: Personal
  Target: You
  Duration: 1 hour/level or until discharged; see text
  You harness the power of unlife to grant yourself a limited 
  ability to avoid death. While this spell is in effect, you gain 
  temporary hit points equal to 1d10 +1 hit point per caster 
  level (maximum +10).
  Material Component: A small amount of alcohol or 
  distilled spirits, which you use to trace certain sigils on your 
  body during casting. These sigils cannot be seen once the 
  alcohol or spirits evaporate.
  GENTLE REPOSE
  Necromancy
  Level: Arcane 3
  Components: V, S, M/DF
  Casting Time: 1 standard action
  Range: Touch
  Target: Corpse touched
  Duration: One day/level
  Saving Throw: Will negates (object)
  Spell Resistance: Yes (object)
  You preserve the remains of a dead creature so that they do 
  not decay. Doing so effectively extends the time limit on 
  raising that creature from the dead (see raise dead). Days 
  spent under the inﬂuence of this spell don’t count against the 
  time limit. Additionally, this spell makes transporting a fallen 
  comrade more pleasant.
  The spell also works on severed body parts and the like.
  Arcane Material Component: A pinch of salt, and a copper 
  piece for each eye the corpse has (or had).
  GLOOM
  Necromancy
  Level: Arcane 0
  Components: V, S
  Casting Time: 1 action
  Range: Touch
  Target: Creature touched
  Duration: 1 minute/level
  Saving Throw: Will negates (harmless)
  Spell Resistance: Yes (harmless)
  Drawing upon the power of shadow, this cantrip pulls 
  shadows closer to the subject.  It grants an enhancement 
  bonus of +4 to all Hide checks for the duration of the spell.
  GRAYFIRE
  Conjuration (Creation) [Fire]
  Level: Arcane 3
  Components: V, S
  Casting Time: 1 action
  Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
  Targets or Effect: One grayﬁre bolt/four levels
  Duration: Instantaneous
  Saving Throw: See text
  Spell Resistance: Yes
  
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  This spell shoots colorless bolts of ﬂame at enemies. The 
  caster must succeed at a ranged touch attack roll to hit. The 
  bolt deals 4d6 points of ﬁre damage (Reﬂex save for half 
  damage). If the caster creates more than one bolt (at 8th 
  level or higher), all bolts must be aimed at enemies that 
  are all within 30 feet of each other. The bolts do not set 
  anything on ﬁre.  If the bolt strikes an undead creature, the 
  creature receives 4 temporary hit points per four caster levels 
  (maximum 24 temporary hit points).
  MAGIC JAR
  Necromancy
  Level: Arcane 5
  Components: V, S, F
  Casting Time: 1 standard action
  Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
  Target: One creature
  Duration: 1 hour/level or until you return to your body
  Saving Throw: Will negates; see text
  Spell Resistance: Yes
  By casting magic jar, you place your soul in a gem or large 
  crystal (known as the magic jar), leaving your body lifeless. 
  You can then attempt to take control of a nearby body, 
  forcing its soul into the magic jar. You may return to the 
  jar at will (thereby returning any soul trapped therein to its 
  body) and attempt to possess another body. The spell ends 
  when you return your soul to your own body, leaving the 
  receptacle empty.
  To cast the spell, the object you intend to serve as the 
  magic jar must be within spell range and you must know 
  where it is, though you do not need line of sight or line of 
  effect to it. When you transfer your soul upon casting, your 
  body is, as near as anyone can tell, dead. 
  While in the magic jar, you can sense and attack any 
  life force within 10 feet per caster level (and on the same 
  plane of existence). You do need line of effect from the jar 
  to the creatures. You cannot determine the exact creature 
  types or positions of these creatures; you can only sense the 
  presence of life forces. If more than one life force is present, 
  you can sense a difference of 4 or more Hit Dice between 
  one creature and another and can determine whether a life 
  force is powered by positive or negative energy. (Undead 
  creatures are powered by negative energy. Only sentient 
  undead creatures have, or are, souls.)  You can choose to 
  take over either a stronger or a weaker creature, but in the 
  event that multiple creatures share the same strength, which 
  particular stronger or weaker creature you attempt to possess 
  is determined randomly.
  Attempting to possess a body is a full-round action. You 
  possess the body and force the creature’s soul into the magic 
  jar unless the subject succeeds on a Will save. Possession 
  attempts are blocked by protection from evil or similar 
  wards. Failure to possess the host leaves your life force 
  in the magic jar, and the target automatically succeeds on 
  saving throws against future possession attempts by the same 
  caster.
  If the possession is successful, your life force occupies 
  the host body, and the host’s life force is imprisoned in the 
  magic jar. You keep your Intelligence, Wisdom, Charisma, 
  level, class, base attack bonus, base save bonuses, alignment, 
  and mental abilities. The body retains its Strength, Dexterity, 
  Constitution, hit points, natural abilities, and automatic 
  abilities. Possessing a body with extra limbs does not allow 
  you to make more attacks (or more advantageous two-
  weapon attacks) than normal. You can’t choose to activate 
  the body’s extraordinary or supernatural abilities. The 
  creature’s spells and spell-like abilities do not stay with the 
  body.
  As a standard action, you can shift freely from a host to 
  the magic jar if within spell range, sending the trapped soul 
  back to its body. The spell ends when you shift from the jar 
  back to your own body.
  If the host body is slain, you return to the magic jar if 
  within range, and the life force of the host departs (it is 
  dead). If the host body is slain beyond the range of the spell, 
  both you and the host die. Any life force with no original 
  body to which it can return is considered slain.
  If the spell ends while you are in the magic jar, you return 
  to your body (or die, if your body is out of spell range or has 
  been destroyed). If the spell ends while you are in a host, you 
  return to your body (or die), and the soul in the magic jar 
  returns to its body (or dies if it is out of range). Destroying 
  the receptacle ends the spell, and the spell can be dispelled at 
  either the magic jar or at the host’s location.
  Use of this spell requires a Madness Check on the part of 
  both the caster and the recipient.
  Focus: A gem or crystal (purchase DC 10).
  NIGHTMARE
  Illusion (Phantasm) [Mind-Affecting, Evil]
  Level: Divine 5
  Components: V, S
  Casting Time: 10 minutes
  Range: Unlimited
  Target: One living creature
  Duration: Instantaneous
  Saving Throw: Will negates; see text
  Spell Resistance: Yes
  You send a hideous and unsettling phantasmal vision to a 
  speciﬁc creature that you name or otherwise speciﬁcally 
  designate.
  The nightmare prevents restful sleep and causes 1d10 
  points of damage. The nightmare leaves the subject fatigued 
  and unable to regain arcane spells for the next 24 hours. It 
  also triggers a Madness Check on the part of the recipient.
  The subject can make a Will save to negate nightmare’s 
  effects; the difﬁculty of the save depends on how well you 
  know the subject and what sort of physical connection (if 
  any) you have to that creature.  The following charts list the 
  bonuses or penalties to be applied to the subject’s saving 
  throw.
  
  CHAPTER 3: ZOMBIE FX
  Knowledge
   Save Modiﬁer
  None1
  +10
  Secondhand (you have heard of the 
  subject)
  +5
  Firsthand (you have met the subject)
  +0
  Familiar (you know the subject well)
  –5
  1 You must have some sort of connection to a creature you have no knowledge of.
  Connection
  Save Modiﬁer
  Likeness or picture
  –2
  Possession or garment
  –4
  Body part, lock of hair, bit of nail, etc.
  –10
  Dispel evil cast on the subject while you are casting the 
  spell dispels the nightmare and causes you to be stunned for 
  10 minutes per caster level of the dispel evil caster.
  If the recipient is awake when the spell begins, you can 
  choose to cease casting (ending the spell) or to enter a trance 
  until the recipient goes to sleep, whereupon you become alert 
  again and complete the casting. If you are disturbed during 
  the trance, you must succeed at a Concentration check as if 
  you were in the midst of casting a spell or the spell ends.
  If you choose to enter a trance, you are not aware of your 
  surroundings or activities around you while in the trance. 
  You are defenseless, both physically and mentally, while 
  in the trance (you automatically fail any saving throw, for 
  example).
  Creatures who don’t sleep (such as elves, but not half-
  elves) or dream are immune to this spell.
  PHANTASMAL KILLER
  Illusion (Phantasm) [Fear, Mind-Affecting]
  Level: Divine 4
  Components: V, S
  Casting Time: 1 standard action
  Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
  Target: One living creature
  Duration: Instantaneous
  Saving Throw: Will disbelief (if interacted with), then 
  Fortitude partial; see text
  Spell Resistance: Yes
  You create a phantasmal image of the most fearsome 
  creature imaginable to the subject by forming the fears of the 
  subject’s subconscious mind into an illusionary monster that 
  its conscious mind can perceive. Only the spell’s subject can 
  see the phantasmal killer; the caster sees only a vague shape. 
  When phantasmal killer is cast, the target gets a Will save 
  to recognize that the image is unreal. If that save fails, the 
  phantasm touches the subject, and the subject must succeed 
  at a Fortitude save or die from fear. Even if the Fortitude 
  save is successful, the subject takes 3d6 points of damage. 
  The victim must make a Madness Check.
  If the subject of a phantasmal killer attack succeeds in 
  disbelieving and is wearing a helm of telepathy, the beast can 
  be turned upon you. You must then disbelieve it or become 
  subject to its deadly fear attack.
  POSSESS ZOMBIE
  Enchantment (Compulsion) [Mind-Affecting]
  Level: Divine 5
  Components: V, S
  Casting Time: 1 action
  Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
  Target: One zombie of Medium-size or smaller
  Duration: 1 round/level
  Saving Throw: Will negates
  Spell Resistance: Yes
  The caster’s body is transformed into a magical essence that 
  ﬂies into the animated corpse of a Medium-size or smaller 
  zombie. The caster possesses the zombie and forces the 
  undead’s essence out of its body unless the zombie succeeds 
  at a Will save.  If the zombie fails its Will save, the caster’s 
  life force occupies the corpse. 
  The caster keeps his or her Intelligence, Wisdom, 
  Charisma, level, class, base attack bonus, base save 
  bonuses, alignment, and mental abilities.  The body retains 
  its Strength, Dexterity, hit points, and natural and mental 
  abilities (such as regeneration).  Possession of a body with 
  extra limbs does not allow the caster to make more attacks 
  (or more advantageous two-weapon attacks) than normal.  
  The caster can’t choose to activate the body’s extraordinary 
  or supernatural abilities.  The zombie’s spells and spell-like 
  abilities do not stay with the body. 
  When the spell ends, the caster’s body bursts out of 
  the zombie, wherever it may be, destroying the zombie 
  completely. Casting this spell requires the caster to make a 
  Madness Check.
  RAY OF BOILS
  Necromancy
  Level: Arcane 0
  Components: V, S
  Casting Time: 1 action
  Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
  Effect: Ray
  Duration: 1 minute/level
  Saving Throw: Fortitude negates
  Spell Resistance: Yes
  A ray springs from the character’s hand. The character 
  must succeed at a ranged touch attack to strike a target. The 
  subject suffers a –1 enhancement penalty to Charisma. The 
  subject’s Charisma score cannot drop below 1.
  RAY OF CLUMSINESS
  Necromancy
  Level: Arcane 0
  Components: V, S
  Casting Time: 1 action
  Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
  Effect: Ray
  Duration: 1 minute/level
  
  32 of 67
  CHAPTER 3: ZOMBIE FX
  Saving Throw: Fortitude negates
  Spell Resistance: Yes
  A ray springs from the caster’s hand. The caster must 
  succeed at a ranged touch attack to strike a target. The 
  subject suffers a –1 enhancement penalty to Dexterity. The 
  subject’s Dexterity score cannot drop below 1.
  RAY OF ENFEEBLEMENT
  Necromancy
  Level: Arcane 1
  Components: V, S
  Casting Time: 1 standard action
  Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
  Effect: Ray
  Duration: 1 min./level
  Saving Throw: None
  Spell Resistance: Yes
  A coruscating ray springs from the caster’s hand. The caster 
  must succeed at a ranged touch attack to strike a target. The 
  subject takes a penalty to Strength equal to 1d6+1 per two 
  caster levels (maximum 1d6+5). The subject’s Strength score 
  cannot drop below 1.
  RAY OF EXHAUSTION
  Necromancy
  Level: Arcane 3
  Components: V, S, M
  Casting Time: 1 standard action
  Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
  Effect: Ray
  Duration: 1 min./level
  Saving Throw: Fortitude partial; see text
  Spell Resistance: Yes
  A black ray projects from the caster’s pointing ﬁnger. The 
  caster must succeed at a ranged touch attack with the ray 
  to strike a target. The subject is immediately exhausted for 
  the spell’s duration. A successful Fortitude save means the 
  creature is only fatigued. A character that is already fatigued 
  instead becomes exhausted.
  This spell has no effect on a creature that is already 
  exhausted. Unlike normal exhaustion or fatigue, the effect 
  ends as soon as the spell’s duration expires.
  Material Component: A drop of sweat.
  RAY OF WEAKNESS
  Necromancy
  Level: Arcane 0
  Components: V, S
  Casting Time: 1 action
  Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
  Effect: Ray
  Duration: 1 minute/level
  Saving Throw: Fortitude negates
  Spell Resistance: Yes
  A ray springs from the caster’s hand. The caster must 
  succeed at a ranged touch attack to strike a target. The 
  subject suffers a –1 enhancement penalty to Strength. The 
  subject’s Strength score cannot drop below 1.
  SLAY LIVING
  Necromancy [Death]
  Level: Divine 5
  Components: V, S
  Casting Time: 1 standard action
  Range: Touch
  Target: Living creature touched
  Duration: Instantaneous
  Saving Throw: Fortitude partial
  Spell Resistance: Yes
  You can slay any one living creature. You must succeed at 
  a melee touch attack to touch the subject, and it can avoid 
  death with a successful Fortitude save. If it succeeds at its 
  save, it instead takes 3d6 points of damage +1 point per 
  caster level.
  SPEAK WITH DEAD
  Necromancy [Language-Dependent]
  Level: Divine 3
  Components: V, S, DF
  Casting Time: 10 minutes
  Range: 10 ft.
  Target: One dead creature
  Duration: 1 min./level
  Saving Throw: Will negates; see text
  Spell Resistance: No
  You grant the semblance of life and intellect to a corpse, 
  allowing it to answer several questions that you put to it. 
  You may ask one question per two caster levels. Unasked 
  questions are wasted if the spell duration expires. The 
  corpse’s knowledge is limited to what the creature knew 
  during life, including the languages it spoke (if any). 
  Answers are usually brief, cryptic, or repetitive. If the 
  creature’s alignment was different from yours, the corpse 
  gets a Will save to resist the spell as if it were alive.
  Casting this spell triggers a Madness Check in everyone 
  who witnesses the conversation, including the caster.
  If the corpse has been subject to speak with dead within 
  the past week, the spell automatically fails. You can cast 
  this spell on a corpse that has been deceased for any amount 
  of time, but the body must be mostly intact to be able to 
  respond. A damaged corpse may be able to give partial 
  answers or partially correct answers, but it must at least have 
  a mouth in order to speak at all. 
  This spell does not let you actually speak to the person 
  (whose soul has departed). It instead draws on the imprinted 
  
  CHAPTER 3: ZOMBIE FX
  knowledge stored in the corpse. The partially animated 
  body retains the imprint of the soul that once inhabited 
  it, and thus it can speak with all the knowledge that the 
  creature had while alive. The corpse, however, cannot learn 
  new information. Indeed, it can’t even remember being 
  questioned.
  This spell does not affect a corpse that has been turned 
  into an undead creature.
  TOUCH OF FATIGUE
  Necromancy
  Level: Arcane 0
  Components: V, S, M
  Casting Time: 1 standard action
  Range: Touch
  Target: Creature touched
  Duration: 1 round/level
  Saving Throw: Fortitude negates
  Spell Resistance: Yes
  You channel negative energy through your touch, fatiguing 
  the target. You must succeed on a touch attack to strike a 
  target. The subject is immediately fatigued for the spell’s 
  duration.
  This spell has no effect on a creature that is already 
  fatigued. Unlike with normal fatigue, the effect ends as soon 
  as the spell’s duration expires.
  Material Component: A drop of sweat.
  TOXICITY
  Necromancy
  Level: Divine 3
  Components: V, S, DF
  Casting Time: 1 standard action
  Range: Touch
  Target: Living creature touched
  Duration: Instantaneous; see text
  Saving Throw: Fortitude negates; see text
  Spell Resistance: Yes
  Calling upon the venomous powers of natural predators, 
  you infect the subject with a horrible poison by making a 
  successful melee touch attack. The poison deals 1d10 points 
  of temporary Constitution damage immediately and another 
  1d10 points of temporary Constitution damage 1 minute 
  later. Each instance of damage can be negated by a Fortitude 
  save (DC 10 + 1/2 caster level + caster’s Wis modiﬁer).
  A living creature that dies from this spell’s damage rises as 
  a toxic zombie 1d6 rounds later.  It is not under the control 
  of the caster but can be controlled through spells or the 
  command undead ability.
  UNHALLOW
  Evocation [Evil]
  Level: Divine 5
  Components: V, S, M
  Casting Time: 24 hours
  Range: Touch
  Area: 40-ft. radius emanating from the touched point
  Duration: Instantaneous
  Saving Throw: See text
  Spell Resistance: See text
  Unhallow makes a particular site, building, or structure an 
  unholy site. This has two major effects.
  First, all checks made to turn undead suffer a –4 penalty, 
  and checks made to rebuke undead gain a +4 profane bonus. 
  Spell resistance does not apply to this effect.
  Second, you may choose to ﬁx a single spell effect to 
  the unhallowed site. The spell effect lasts for one year and 
  functions throughout the entire site, regardless of its normal 
  duration and area or effect. You may designate whether the 
  effect applies to all creatures, creatures that share your faith 
  or alignment, or creatures that adhere to another faith or 
  alignment. At the end of the year, the chosen effect lapses, 
  but it can be renewed or replaced simply by casting unhallow 
  again.
  Spell effects that may be tied to an unhallowed site include 
  aid, bane, bless, cause fear, darkness, detect magical aura, 
  discern lies, dispel magic, freedom of movement, invisibility 
  remove fear, resist energy, silence, tongues, and zone of truth.
  Saving throws and spell resistance might apply to these 
  spells’ effects. (See the individual spell descriptions for 
  details.)
  An area can receive only one unhallow spell (and its 
  associated spell effect) at a time. 
  Material Component: Herbs, oils, and incense (purchase 
  DC 20 + 1 per level of the spell to be tied to the unhallowed 
  area).
  WAVES OF FATIGUE
  Necromancy
  Level: Arcane 5
  Components: V, S
  Casting Time: 1 standard action
  Range: 30 ft.
  Area: Cone-shaped burst
  Duration: Instantaneous
  Saving Throw: No
  Spell Resistance: Yes
  Waves of negative energy render all living creatures in the 
  spell’s area fatigued. This spell has no effect on a creature 
  that is already fatigued.
  ZOMBIE BELCH
  Conjuration (Creation) [Death]
  Level: Arcane 4
  Components: V, S
  Casting Time: 1 action
  Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
  Area: Cone
  
  34 of 67
  CHAPTER 3: ZOMBIE FX
  Duration: Instantaneous
  Saving Throw: Fortitude negates; see text
  Spell Resistance: Yes
  A bank of yellowish green poisonous gas billows out from 
  the caster’s mouth or other oriﬁce. The cone’s vapors kill 
  any living creature with 3 or fewer HD (no save) and cause 
  creatures with 4 to 6 HD to make Fortitude saving throws 
  or die. Living creatures above 6 HD, and creatures of 4 to 6 
  HD who make their saving throws, are nauseated (Fortitude 
  negates), making them unable to attack, cast spells, 
  concentrate on spells, and so on. The only action a nauseated 
  character can take is a single move (or move-equivalent 
  action) per turn.  
  ZOMBIE BLIGHT
  Evocation [Evil]
  Level: Divine 4
  Components: V, S
  Casting Time: 1 standard action
  Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
  Area: 20-ft. radius spread
  Duration: Instantaneous (1d4 rounds); see text
  Saving Throw: Will partial
  Spell Resistance: Yes
  You call up unholy power to smite your enemies. The power 
  takes the form of a cold, cloying miasma of greasy darkness.
  Only good and neutral (not evil) creatures are harmed by 
  the spell.
  The spell deals 1d8 points of damage per two caster 
  levels (maximum 5d8) to a good creature (or 1d6 per caster 
  level, maximum 10d6, to a good outsider) and causes it to 
  be sickened for 1d4 rounds. A successful Will save reduces 
  damage to half and negates the sickened effect. The effects 
  cannot be negated by remove disease or heal, but remove 
  curse is effective.
  The spell deals only half damage to creatures that are 
  neither evil nor good, and they are not sickened. Such a 
  creature can reduce the damage in half again (down to one-
  quarter) with a successful Will save.
  ZOMBIE DRAIN
  Necromancy
  Level: Arcane 3
  Components: V, S
  Casting Time: 1 standard action
  Range: Touch
  Target: Living creature touched
  Duration: Instantaneous/1 hour; see text
  Saving Throw: None
  Spell Resistance: Yes
  Your touch deals 1d6 points of damage per two caster levels 
  (maximum 10d6).  If you succeed at a melee touch attack, 
  you gain temporary hit points equal to the damage you deal. 
  However, you can’t gain more than the subject’s current 
  hit points +10, which is enough to kill the subject. The 
  temporary hit points disappear 1 hour later.
  ZOMBIE FEVER
  Necromancy [Evil]
  Level: Arcane 4
  Components: V, S
  Casting Time: 1 standard action
  Range: Touch
  Target: Living creature touched
  Duration: Instantaneous
  Saving Throw: Fortitude negates
  Spell Resistance: Yes
  The subject contracts zombie fever, which strikes 
  immediately (no incubation period). The DC noted is for the 
  subsequent saves (use zombie fever’s normal save DC for the 
  initial saving throw).
  An afﬂicted humanoid must make subsequent Fortitude 
  saves (DC 12) to resist further damage (secondary damage 
  1d3 Con and 1d3 Dex) per the normal disease rules.  If the 
  subject dies of zombie fever, it rises as a zombie at the next 
  midnight. It is not under the control of the caster (unless 
  controlled with a spell or other ability), but it hungers for the 
  brains of the living.
  FX ITEMS
  Magic occasionally sticks around in The Real by manifesting 
  itself in common items.  Some of these items are used to 
  mop up zombie hordes; others are used to create them.  The 
  shotgun of zombie slaying and the chainsaw of sharpness are 
  the holiest of holies, the most sacred items that every zombie 
  hunter hopes to one day claim. 
  And then sell on the Internet for millions of dollars.  Hey, 
  nobody ever said zombie hunting was proﬁtable.
  SHOTGUN OF ZOMBIE SLAYING
  This +1 shotgun is the bane of all zombies. Any zombie 
  damaged by this weapon must succeed at a Fortitude save 
  (DC 14) or be destroyed.
  Type: Weapon (magic); Caster Level: 10th; Purchase DC: 
  25; Weight: 8 lb.
  CHAINSAW OF SHARPNESS
  This +3 chainsaw threatens a critical hit on a natural roll of 
  19 or 20 (a normal chainsaw has a threat range of 20).
  Type: Weapon (magic); Caster Level: 10th; Purchase DC: 
  39; Weight: 10 lb.
  PLAGUE POWDER
  Made from a variety of ﬁlthy substances, this black powder 
  infects those who breathe it with a sickening disease.  Plague 
  powder is not consumed by the user but is released into the 
  
  CHAPTER 3: ZOMBIE FX
  air for others to breathe.  It creates a 5-foot-radius cloud 
  either directly in front of the user (if blown at a target) or 
  at the point of impact (if thrown).  Using plague powder is 
  dangerous and requires a Concentration check (DC 5) to 
  avoid inhaling it. Plague powder can be created to hold any 
  disease.  Any living being exposed to plague powder must 
  immediately make a Fortitude save vs. the DC listed for the 
  disease or contract it immediately.
  Type: Potion (magic); Caster Level: 5th; Purchase DC: 
  25; Weight: 0 lb.
  ZOMBIE POWDER
  Bokors go through a complicated process to create zombies.  
  Living zombies are created by the ingestion of a particular 
  kind of poison—zombie powder—that puts the victim into 
  torpor, following which the bokor administers a zombie 
  cucumber (see below) to complete the zombiﬁcation process.  
  The ingredients for zombie powder include:
  Secretions of a bouga toad (bufogenin and bufotoxin)
  Ground millipedes
  Ground tarantulas
  Skin of poison white tree frogs
  Four types of puffer ﬁsh
  Tcha-tcha seeds from the albizzia lebbeck tree
  Consigne seeds from a mahogany tree
  Leaves from the pomme cajou
  Leaves from the bresillet tree
  Maman guepes and mashasa
  Dieffenbachia seguine needles
  Upon ingesting the powder, the victim must make a 
  Fortitude save (DC 20) or begin suffering the below effects, 
  one each round.  On a successful save, the victim suffers 
  3d6+10 points of damage but no other ill effects.
  1. 
  The victim becomes dazed and experiences pallor, dizziness, 
  malaise, and numbness. He can take no actions, but has no 
  penalty to AC. He loses 2d6 Dexterity points.
  2. 
  The victim begins to salivate uncontrollably and experiences 
  fatigue. He can neither run nor charge and takes a –2 penalty 
  to Strength and Dexterity. 
  3. 
  The victim begins to sweat, suffer exhaustion, and experiences 
  headache and chills. Exhausted victims move at half speed and 
  suffer a –6 penalty to Strength and Dexterity. 
  4. 
  The victim’s blood pressure decreases and his pulse becomes 
  weak and rapid. He loses an additional 1d4 Constitution.
  5. 
  The victim begins to experience nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, 
  and gastric pain. He is unable to attack, cast spells, concentrate 
  on spells, or do anything else requiring attention. The only 
  action such a character can take is a single move action per 
  turn.
  6. 
  The victim’s pupils constrict, then dilate, and then lose all 
  control. He cannot see. He takes a –2 penalty to Defense, loses 
  his Dexterity bonus to Defense (if any), moves at half speed, 
  and takes a –4 penalty on Search checks and on most Strength- 
  and Dexterity-based skill checks. All checks and activities that 
  rely on vision (such as reading and Spot checks) automatically 
  fail. All opponents are considered to have total concealment 
  (50% miss chance). 
  7. 
  The victim’s lungs slow down to an almost imperceptible 
  rhythm. Lose 1d4 Constitution.
  8. 
  The victim’s lips, extremities and entire body turn blue. Lose 
  1d4 Constitution.
  9. 
  The victim twitches crazily, then becomes completely 
  paralyzed. He has effective Dexterity and Strength scores of 0 
  and is helpless, but can take purely mental actions. 
  10. The victim’s eyes glaze over and he falls into a coma, helpless. 
  A helpless target is treated as having a Dexterity of 0 (–5 
  modiﬁer). Melee attacks against a helpless target get a +4 
  bonus (equivalent to attacking a prone target). As a full-round 
  action, an enemy can use a melee weapon to deliver a coup 
  de grace to a helpless foe. The attacker automatically hits and 
  scores a critical hit. If the defender survives, he must make a 
  Fortitude save (DC 10 + damage dealt) or die.  Delivering a 
  coup de grace provokes attacks of opportunity. 
  For all intents and purposes, the victim appears dead.  A 
  Heal/Treat Injury check (DC 30) is necessary to recognize 
  that he is in a coma.  Otherwise, the victim will be treated as 
  if he were dead by the locals—fear those cultures that burn 
  their dead! The victim is conscious and aware of everything 
  the entire time, from his funeral to his burial.  The effects 
  last for 1d4+10 hours.
  Of course, if the victim isn’t particularly sturdy to 
  begin with, he may just die anyway, bumming out bokors 
  everywhere who go through a lot of trouble to make sure 
  their zombies rise up again.
  Type: Potion (magic); Caster Level: 9th; Prerequisites: 
  animate dead, slay living, 1 rank in Knowledge (nature); 
  Purchase DC: 30; Weight: 0 lb.
  ZOMBIE CUCUMBER
  While the victim is still interred, the bokor returns to 
  dig him up and administer a hallucinogenic known as a 
  “zombie cucumber.”  Zombie cucumber is actually datura 
  stramonium (AKA thorn apple and jimson weed). Datura 
  causes delusions, mental confusion, disorientation, amnesia 
  (loss of memory) and an impenetrable stupor, all typical 
  characteristics of zombies. Datura needs to be continuously 
  administered to the zombie to maintain its zombie status.  
  A zombie created through this method is usually easily 
  controlled and directed by the bokor.
  Type: Potion (magic); Caster Level: 5th; Prerequisites: 
  animate dead, 1 rank in Knowledge (nature); Purchase DC: 
  15; Weight: 0 lb.
  
  36 of 67
  CHAPTER 4: FIELD GUIDE
  CHAPTER 
  FOUR: ZOMBIE 
  HUNTER’S FIELD 
  GUIDE
  On the surface, one moaning, shambling corpse 
  may look just like all the others.  But the truth of 
  the matter is that there are all kinds of zombies, ranging 
  from the fast and dangerous to the slow and really dumb.  A 
  good zombie hunter knows his zombies and reaches for the 
  shotgun at the ﬁrst sign of zombie-ness.
  It’s important to note that zombies come in all shapes and 
  sizes—some aren’t even actually even animated corpses.  
  And don’t be fooled by the old “shoot them in the head” 
  chestnut—that’s just one kind of zombie.
  BLOODSUCKING WIND
  Huge Outsider (Air, Native)
  Hit Dice: 24d8+96 (204 hp)
  Initiative: +15
  Speed: Fly 100 ft. (perfect) (20 squares)
  Defense: 27 (–2 size, +11 Dex, +8 natural), touch 19, ﬂat-
  footed 16
  Base Attack/Grapple: +18/+32
  Attack: Slam +27 melee (2d8+6)
  Full Attack: 2 slams +27 melee (2d8+6)
  Space/Reach: 15 ft./15 ft.
  Special Attacks: Air mastery, create spawn, energy drain
  Special Qualities: Damage reduction 10/–, darkvision 60 
  ft., invisibility
  Saves: Fort +18, Ref +25, Will +16
  Abilities: Str 22, Dex 33, Con 18, Int 10, Wis 11, Cha 11
  Skills: Listen +29, Spot +29
  Feats: Alertness, Blind-ﬁght, Cleave, Combat Reﬂexes, 
  Flyby Attack, Improved InitiativeB, Iron Will, Mobility, 
  Power Attack, Spring Attack, Weapon FinesseB
  Organization: Solitary
  Challenge Rating: 11
  Allegiance: Chaos
  Advancement: 25–48 HD (Huge)
  Level Adjustment: —
  The air is ﬁlled with a rustling hiss; an inhuman screeching 
  that seems to come from everywhere and nowhere at once.
  A bloodsucking wind sucks blood and is windy.  It comes 
  from outer space.  It has a death wish but cannot easily 
  experience death, so it drains the life out of human beings 
  and then enjoys the act of dying vicariously.  Then, to spread 
  some more death around, the bloodsucking wind sends its 
  undead victims out to kill more people so that it can continue 
  to experience more death, ad inﬁnitum.
  Combat
  Bloodsucking winds don’t waste time engaging in melee and 
  prefer to send their minions after their opponents, instead 
  remaining invisible most of the time. Their thirst for the 
  experience of death is boundless and most bloodsucking 
  winds welcome any creature that can actually destroy them 
  once and for all.  Pitiful creatures, really.
  Create Spawn (Su): A humanoid or monstrous humanoid 
  slain by a bloodsucking wind’s energy drain rises as a 
  bloodsucking zombie (see the Bloodsucking Zombie entry) 
  1d4 days after burial. The new bloodsucking zombie is under 
  the command of the bloodsucking wind that created it and 
  remains enslaved until its master’s destruction. At any given 
  time, a bloodsucking wind may have enslaved bloodsucking 
  zombies totaling no more than twice its own Hit Dice; any 
  bloodsucking zombie it creates that would exceed this limit 
  is created as a free-willed bloodsucking zombie. 
  Energy Drain (Su): Living creatures hit by a 
  bloodsucking wind’s slam attack gain two negative levels. 
  For each negative level bestowed, the bloodsucking wind 
  gains 5 temporary hit points. A bloodsucking wind can use 
  its energy drain ability once per round.
  Invisibility (Su): Bloodsucking winds are always invisible 
  and have all the beneﬁts associated with invisibility.
  Air Mastery (Ex): Airborne creatures suffer a –1 penalty 
  on attack and damage rolls against a bloodsucking wind.
  CREEP
  Fine Vermin 
  Hit Dice: 1/4d8 (1 hp) 
  Initiative: +1 (Dex) 
  Speed: 5 ft
  Defense: 18 (+8 size) 
  Attacks: Slam +4 melee
  Damage: Slam 0 
  Face/Reach: 1/2 ft by 1/2 ft/0 ft
  Special Attacks: Burrow, leap
  Special Qualities: Vermin, tremorsense
  Saves: Fort +2, Ref +0, Will +0 
  Abilities: Str 2, Dex 10, Con 10, Int —, Wis 10, Cha 1 
  Skills: Jump +3, Hide +19
  Organization: Swarm (5-20) 
  Challenge Rating: 1/10
  Allegiance: None
  Advancement Range: 1 HD (Fine)
  Level Adjustment: —
  This long, black worm undulates slightly as if it were being 
  brushed by an invisible wind.
  Creeps are 1-inch long alien vermin from beyond space. 
  They are known throughout the universe as a horrible 
  plague, except on Earth, where they are generally ignored 
  until zombies start popping up.
  
  CHAPTER 4: FIELD GUIDE
  Combat
  Creeps immediately head for the brain of any victim and 
  attempt to inhabit it so they can breed.  They are also capable 
  of animating corpses in this fashion. They have a short life 
  cycle—approximately 24 hours.  They take over the brain’s 
  functions, turning the victim into a creep zombie with the 
  sole purpose of spreading its contagion by spitting creeps 
  into other bodies.
  Leap (Ex): A creep can leap up to 10 feet and attack at its 
  full attack bonus in the same round.
  Burrow (Ex): A creep infests its victims in one of two 
  ways: it either attacks and burrows into a target, or is spit 
  into a victim’s mouth by a creep zombie.  Regardless of 
  the infestation method, once inside, it begins to burrow. A 
  burrowing creep deals 2d6 points of temporary Constitution 
  damage each round. At Constitution 0, the victim dies 
  and becomes a creep zombie. The creeping zombie then 
  animates and moves to the nearest populated area, where 
  its head explodes and releases more creeps. During the ﬁrst 
  two rounds of infestation, a burrowing creep can be killed 
  by applying ﬁre to the infested skin or by cutting open the 
  infested skin with any slashing weapon. Either method deals 
  2d6 points of damage to the victim, but kills the creeps. After 
  the second round, only remove disease can kill the creeps as 
  they burrow to the victim’s brain and devour it (still dealing 
  2d6 points of temporary Constitution damage each round).
  Tremorsense (Ex): Creeps can automatically sense the 
  location of anything within 20 feet that is in contact with the 
  ground.
  Vermin: Creeps are immune to all mind-inﬂuencing 
  effects.
  HSING-SING
  Large Magical Beast (Cold)
  Hit Dice: 5d8+13 (35 hp)
  Initiative: +2
  Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares), climb 15 ft.
  Defense: 15 (–1 size, +2 Dex, +4 natural), touch 11, ﬂat-
  footed 13
  Base Attack/Grapple: +3/+13
  Attack: Claw +8 melee (1d6+6)
  Full Attack: 2 claws +8 melee (1d6+6) and bite +3 melee 
  (1d8+3)
  Space/Reach: 10 ft./10 ft.
  Special Attacks: Intelligence drain, malevolence, 
  psionics, rend
  Special Qualities: Low-light vision, cold subtype, scent
  Saves: Fort +3, Ref +6, Will +5
  Abilities: Str 22, Dex 15, Con 14, Int 20, Wis 12, Cha 7
  Skills: Climb +14, Listen +5, Move Silently +4, Spot +6
  Feats: Alertness, Toughness
  Organization: Solitary
  Challenge Rating: 5
  Allegiance: Evil
  Advancement: 6–15 HD (Large)
  Level Adjustment: —
  This large, ape-like beast has vaguely human features.  It is 
  covered in long, stringy hair.  Hateful red eyes peer out from 
  beneath its tresses.
  Hsing-sings were once peaceful ape-like beasts that 
  lived alone in the Himalayas.  Their peaceful existence was 
  abruptly ended when a parasitic alien life form infected the 
  entire race.  Hsing-sings stand about 9 feet tall and weigh 
  between 800 and 1,200 pounds.
  Combat
  Hsing-sings attack other beings with their intelligence 
  drain ability, attempting to discover a means of escaping the 
  planet.  Unfortunately, not many astronauts dig up frozen 
  apes.
  Intelligence Drain (Su): This special attack drains 1d6 
  Intelligence, range 30 feet, Fortitude save (DC 15) negates. 
  Humanoids who die from this attack are transformed into 
  brainless zombies 1d4 rounds after death (see the Brainless 
  
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  CHAPTER 4: FIELD GUIDE
  Zombie entry). The save DC is Charisma-based.
  Psionics (Sp): At will—detect thoughts (DC 15), awaken 
  the dead, mind probe. Effective caster level 8th.  Save DCs 
  made to resist these powers are Charisma-based.
  Rend (Ex): A hsing-sing that hits with both claw attacks 
  latches onto its opponent’s body and tears into its ﬂesh. This 
  attack automatically deals an extra 2d6+12 points of damage.
  Malevolence (Su): Once per round, a hsing-sing can 
  leave its body and attempt to merge its essence with a 
  creature on the Material Plane. This ability is similar to the 
  magic jar spell (caster level 10th or the hsing-sing’s Hit 
  Dice, whichever is higher), except that it does not require 
  a receptacle. To use this ability, the hsing-sing must be 
  adjacent to the target. The target can resist the attack with a 
  successful Will save (DC 15 + hsing-sing’s Cha modiﬁer). 
  A creature that successfully saves is immune to that same 
  hsing-sing’s malevolence for 24 hours. If the save fails, 
  the hsing-sing’s essence possesses the target’s body and its 
  original body falls to the ground dead.
  Skills: Hsing-sings have a +8 racial bonus to Climb 
  checks and can always choose to take 10 on Climb checks, 
  even if rushed or threatened.
  KYOSHI
  Small Outsider (Evil, Extraplanar)
  Hit Dice: 4d10+3 (22 hp)
  Initiative: +3
  Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
  Defense: 18 (+3 Dex, +1 size, +4 natural), touch 13, ﬂat-
  footed 15
  Base Attack/Grapple: +2/+5
  Attack: Bite +8 melee (1d8+3)
  Full Attack: Bite +8 melee (1d8+3) and 2 claws +3 melee 
  (1d4+1)
  Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
  Special Attacks: kyoshi fever, improved grab
  Special Qualities: +2 turn resistance, darkvision
  Saves: Fort +4, Ref +7, Will +6
  Abilities: Str 17, Dex 17, Con 10, Int 13, Wis 14, Cha 6 
  Skills: Balance +7, Climb +9, Hide +8, Jump +9, Move 
  Silently +8, Spot +8
  Feats: Multiattack, Toughness
  Organization: Solitary or gang (2–4)
  Challenge Rating: 3
  Allegiance: Chaos, evil
  Advancement: 5–8 HD (Medium)
  Level Adjustment: —
  This diminutive creature is hunched over and naked, covered 
  only by its black, slimy skin.  It hisses and squeals like a 
  delighted child as its mouth and claws twitch in anticipation of 
  biting into a fresh victim.
  Kyoshi are little demonic children who enjoy biting 
  people.  They see the zombies they create as big dolls 
  and are fond of playing house with them.  Utterly warped 
  and completely malign, they’re very dangerous when 
  accompanied by “play dates” in groups of two or more.
  Combat
  Kyoshi try to attack with surprise whenever possible. They 
  strike from behind tombstones and burst from shallow 
  graves.
  Kyoshi Fever (Su): Disease—bite, Fortitude DC 12, 
  incubation period 1 day, damage 1d3 Con and 1d3 Dex. The 
  save DC is Charisma-based. An afﬂicted humanoid that dies 
  of kyoshi fever rises as a kyoshi spawn at the next midnight. 
  A humanoid that becomes a kyoshi spawn in this way retains 
  none of the abilities it possessed in life. It is not under the 
  control of any other kyoshis, but it hungers for the ﬂesh of 
  the living. 
  Slaying a Kyoshi: Reducing a kyoshi’s hit points to 0 
  or lower incapacitates it, but doesn’t always destroy it. 
  However, certain attacks can slay kyoshis. Driving a wooden 
  stake through a kyoshi’s heart instantly slays the monster. 
  
  CHAPTER 4: FIELD GUIDE
  SUMATRAN RAT MONKEY
  Tiny Animal
  Hit Dice: 1d8 (4 hp)
  Initiative: +2
  Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares), climb 30 ft.
  Defense: 14 (+2 size, +2 Dex), touch 14, ﬂat-footed 12
  Base Attack/Grapple: +0/–12
  Attack: Bite +4 melee (1d3–4)
  Full Attack: Bite +4 melee (1d3–4)
  Space/Reach: 2-1/2 ft./0 ft.
  Special Attacks: Rat-monkey fever
  Special Qualities: Low-light vision, scent
  Saves: Fort +2, Ref +4, Will +1
  Abilities: Str 3, Dex 15, Con 10, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 5
  Skills: Balance +10, Climb +12, Hide +14, Move Silently 
  +10, Swim +10
  Feats: Weapon Finesse
  Organization: Solitary
  Challenge Rating: 1/6
  Allegiance: Evil
  Advancement: 2–3 HD (Small)
  Level Adjustment: —
  This bizarre, ugly animal looks like a cross between a rat and a 
  monkey.  It has the head and overall shape of a rat, but 
  closer inspection reveals it has opposable thumbs and 
  monkey-like legs.
  Rat monkeys are nature’s way of telling the rest 
  of the world to ﬂip off.  A twisted combination of one 
  of the most intelligent wild animals with one of the most 
  disgusting, the rat monkey embodies everything that sucks 
  about rats and monkeys.  (If you’re unsure about whether or 
  not monkeys deserve a bad rap, ask yourself: have you ever 
  seen a monkey ﬂing poo?)
  Combat
  Rat-monkeys are angry little beasts that bite at the slightest 
  provocation.
  Rat-Monkey Fever (Su): Disease—bite, Fortitude DC 
  12, incubation period 1 day, damage 1d3 Con and 1d3 Dex. 
  The save DC is Charisma-based. An afﬂicted humanoid that 
  dies of rat-monkey fever rises as a zombie in 1d6 rounds. A 
  humanoid that becomes a zombie in this way retains none of 
  the abilities it possessed in life. It is not under the control of 
  the rat-monkey, but it hungers for the ﬂesh of the living. 
  Skills: Rat-monkeys have a +4 racial bonus on Hide and 
  Move Silently checks, and a +8 racial bonus on Balance, 
  Climb and Swim checks. They can always choose to take 
  10 on Climb checks, even if rushed or threatened. They use 
  their Dexterity modiﬁer instead of their Strength modiﬁer for 
  Climb and Swim checks. A rat-monkey has a +8 racial bonus 
  on any Swim check to perform some special action or avoid 
  a hazard. It can always choose to take 10 on a Swim check, 
  even if distracted or endangered. It can use the run action 
  while swimming, provided it swims in a straight line.
  TRILLIAN 
  Medium Outsider (Native)
  Hit Dice: 7d8+21 (52 hp)
  Initiative: +2
  Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
  Defense: 21 (+2 Dex, +9 natural), touch 12, ﬂat-footed 19
  Base Attack/Grapple: +7/+8
  Attack: Claw +8 melee (1d4+1)
  Full Attack: 2 claws +8 melee (1d4+1) and bite +3 melee 
  (1d6)
  Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
  Special Attacks: Gas ray, destructive harmonics
  Special Qualities: Sonic resistance, damage reduction 
  15/ piercing, darkvision 60 ft., spell resistance 27, create 
  ultrasonic zombie
  Saves: Fort +8, Ref +7, Will +6
  Abilities: Str 12, Dex 14, Con 16, Int 13, Wis 13, Cha 17
  Skills: Bluff +17*, Concentration +13, Diplomacy +7, 
  Disguise +17 (+19 acting)*, Intimidate +5, Listen +13, 
  Move Silently +13, Perform (oratory) +13, Sense Motive 
  +11, Spellcraft +11, Spot +11
  Feats: Alertness, Combat Casting, Dodge
  Organization: Solitary
  Challenge Rating: 10
  Allegiance: Law, evil
  Advancement: By character class
  Level Adjustment: +7
  
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  The being before you is only vaguely humanoid.  It wears a 
  dirty-yellow jumpsuit with large, bulky boots.  Its oversized 
  head is encased in polished metal with strange protrusions 
  and vague slits that might indicate eyes. 
  Trillians are aliens from beyond who take over other 
  worlds for their own inscrutable reasons.  
  Combat
  Trillians attack using gas warfare to kill all living beings in 
  the target area, then reanimate the corpses with sonics.
  Gas Ray (Su): Trillians can emit a 10-foot cone of 
  corrosive gas from their ﬁngertips once every 2d4 rounds.  It 
  inﬂicts 2d6 acid damage, Reﬂex DC 13 for half damage. The 
  save DC is Constitution-based.
  Sonic Resistance (Su): Trillians are immune to sonic 
  damage.
  Destructive Harmonics (Su): A Trillian can blast 
  sonic energy in a cone up to 80 feet long from its hands. 
  Alternatively, it can use this attack to affect any creatures or 
  objects within a 30-foot radius. It can tune the harmonics of 
  this destructive power to affect different types of targets as 
  described below. All save DCs are Charisma-based. 
  Flesh: Disrupting tissue and rending bone, this attack 
  deals 4d6 points of damage to all within the area (Reﬂex DC 
  15 half).
  Nerves: A Trillian can focus its harmonics to knock out 
  foes rather than slay them. This attack deals 6d6 points of 
  nonlethal damage to all within the area (Reﬂex DC 15 half).
  Material: When using this form of harmonics, a Trillian 
  chooses wood, stone, metal, or glass. All objects made 
  of that material within the area must succeed on a DC 15 
  Fortitude save or shatter. Objects (or portions of objects) that 
  have less than 30 hit points are potentially affected by this 
  attack.
  Create Ultrasonic Zombie (Su): Any victim killed by a 
  Trillian’s gas ray can be animated by the Trillian at will as an 
  ultrasonic zombie.
  ZOMBIE
  Template Traits
   “Zombie” is a template that can be added to any corporeal 
  creature other than an undead (referred to hereafter as the 
  base creature). It uses all the base creature’s statistics and 
  special abilities except as noted here.
  Hit Dice: Drop any Hit Dice gained from experience, 
  double the number of Hit Dice left, and raise them to Hit 
  Dice appropriate to its type.
  Speed: If the base creature could ﬂy, its maneuverability 
  rating as a zombie drops to clumsy.
  Defense: A zombie’s natural armor bonus to Defense 
  increases to a value based on the zombie’s size (but use the 
  base creature’s natural armor bonus, if it’s higher): Tiny or 
  smaller +0, Small +1, Medium-size +2, Large +3, Huge +4, 
  Gargantuan +7, Colossal +11.
  Attacks: The zombie retains all the natural attacks, 
  manufactured weapons, and weapon proﬁciencies of the base 
  creature. A zombie also gains a slam attack.
  Damage: Natural and manufactured weapons deal damage 
  normally. A slam attack deals damage depending on the 
  zombie’s size (but use the base creature’s slam damage if 
  it’s greater): Fine 1, Diminutive 1d2, Tiny 1d3, Small 1d4, 
  Medium-size 1d6, Large 1d8, Huge 2d6, Gargantuan 2d8, 
  Colossal 4d6. For purposes of Strength bonuses to damage, a 
  slam attack is considered a two-handed attack.
  Special Qualities: A zombie loses all of the base 
  creature’s supernatural and spell-like qualities except for 
  immunity or resistance to speciﬁc energy types. A zombie 
  may retain any or all of the base creature’s extraordinary 
  abilities, at the GM’s discretion. 
  Allegiances: A zombie loses any previous allegiances. 
  Saves: A zombie’s saving throw modiﬁers are based on 
  Hit Dice and given in Table 8–2: Creature Saves and Base 
  Attack Bonuses in D20 Modern, p. 217.
  Action Points: A zombie does not acquire or amass action 
  points. It loses any action points gained by the base creature.
  Reputation Bonus: A zombie has a +0 Reputation bonus.
  Ability Scores: A zombie has no Constitution score.
  Human Zombie: CR 1/2; Medium-size undead; HD 2d12 
  plus 3 (Toughness feat); hp 16; Init –1; Spd 30 ft.; Defense 
  
  CHAPTER 4: FIELD GUIDE
  Table 4-1: Zombie Attributes
  D100
  Type
  CR
  Description
  01-10
  Normal
  0
  The zombie has the same type that it had in life.
  11-80
  Undead
  +2 The zombie is a member of the living dead.
  81-95
  Construct
  +1 The zombie is a patchwork construct similar to a ﬂesh golem.
  96-100
  Plant
  +1 The zombie is actually a form of plant life that has formed around bones and animated them.
  Senses
  01-40
  Normal
  0
  The zombie has the same senses that it had in life.
  41-70
  Scent (Ex)
  +1
  The zombie can smell brains. This special quality allows a zombie to detect living enemies, sniff out 
  hidden foes, and track by sense of smell. Zombies with the scent ability can identify familiar odors just 
  as humans do familiar sights. The zombie can detect living opponents within 30 feet by sense of smell. 
  If the opponent is upwind, the range increases to 60 feet; if downwind, it drops to 15 feet. The zombie 
  can take a move action to note the direction of the scent. Whenever the zombie comes within 5 feet 
  of the source, the zombie pinpoints the source’s location. A zombie with the Track feat and the scent 
  ability can follow tracks by smell, making a Wisdom (or Survival) check to ﬁnd or follow a track. The 
  typical DC for a fresh trail is 10 (no matter what kind of surface holds the scent). This DC increases or 
  decreases depending on how strong the quarry’s odor is, the number of living creatures, and the age of 
  the trail. For each hour that the trail is cold, the DC increases by 2. The ability otherwise follows the 
  rules for the Track feat. Zombies tracking by scent ignore the effects of surface conditions and poor 
  visibility.
  71-90
  Lifesense (Su)
  +1 The zombie notices and locates living creatures within 60 feet, just as if it possessed the blindsight 
  ability. It also automatically senses the strength of their life force, as if it had cast deathwatch.
  91-100
  Tremorsense (Ex)
  +1 The zombie is blind.  However, it is sensitive to vibrations in the ground and can automatically 
  pinpoint the location of anything that is in contact with the ground up to 60 feet away.
  D100
  Defenses
  CR
  Description
  1-10
  Normal
  0
  The zombie has the same defenses it had in life.
  11-30
  Damage Reduction (10/piercing)
  +1
  The zombie is immune to most damage.  The only way to really harm it is to use piercing weapons. 
  Bludgeoning doesn’t do much to zombies—they bounce around like blow-up dolls.  Slashing cuts 
  them up, but the zombie remains animated until the brain is pierced. Firearms and piercing weapons 
  must penetrate the brain case to truly de-animate a zombie. At the GM’s option, zombies can be de-
  animated with a critical hit to the head (see the Combat Techniques chapter for more information).
  31-40
  Damage Reduction (10/silver)
  +1 The zombie is immune to most damage.  The only way to really harm it is to use silver-tipped weapons.
  41-50
  Immune to Acid
  +2 The zombie is immune to acid damage.
  51-60
  Immune to Cold
  +2 The zombie is immune to cold damage.
  61-70
  Immune to Electrical
  +2 The zombie is immune to electrical damage.
  71-80
  Immune to Fire
  +2 The zombie is immune to ﬁre damage.
  81-90
  Immune to Sonic
  +2 The zombie is immune to sonic damage.
  91-94
  Resistant to Turning
  +1 The zombie is considered to be double its Hit Dice for the purposes of turning.
  95-100
  Roll Twice
  D100
  Movement
  CR
  Description
  01-20
  Normal
  0
  The zombie retains the normal movement it had in life.
  21-50
  Shamble (Ex)
  -2
  The zombie has poor reﬂexes and can perform only a single move action or attack action each round. A 
  zombie can move up to its speed and attack in the same round, but only if it attempts a charge.
  51-60
  Burrow (Su)
  +1 The zombie can tunnel through dirt at 30 feet per round, but not through rock. Zombies cannot charge 
  or run while burrowing.
  61-70
  Hop (Su)
  +1
  The zombie can hop vertically or horizontally up to 30 feet per round without making Jump checks. It 
  has a +8 racial bonus on any Jump check to perform some special action or avoid a hazard. The zombie 
  can always choose to take 10 on a Jump check, even if distracted or endangered. The zombie can use 
  the run action while jumping, provided it jumps in a straight line.
  71-80
  Swim (Ex)
  0
  The zombie can move through water at 30 feet per round without making Swim checks. It has a +8 
  racial bonus on any Swim check to perform some special action or avoid a hazard. The zombie can 
  always choose to take 10 on a Swim check, even if distracted or endangered. The zombie can use the 
  run action while swimming, provided it swims in a straight line. 
  81-85
  Silent (Su)
  +1
  The zombie can move at 30 feet per round without making Move Silently checks. It has a +8 racial 
  bonus on any Move Silently check to perform some special action or avoid a hazard. The zombie can 
  always choose to take 10 on a Move Silently check, even if distracted or endangered. The zombie can 
  use the run action while Moving Silently, provided it moves in a straight line.
  86-95
  Fly (Su)
  +1 The zombie can ﬂy supernaturally at 30 feet per round with a maneuverability of clumsy.
  96-97
  TV Travel (Su)
  +2
  The zombie can travel through TV sets that are turned on, entering “TV land.” For every minute the 
  zombie spends moving through TV, it can re-emerge into the real world through another TV up to ﬁve 
  miles away. Thus, a zombie can use this power to travel rapidly by physically entering the TV world, 
  moving the desired distance, and then stepping back into the real world through another TV. The 
  zombie knows where it will emerge in the real world. It cannot enter or exit a TV set that isn’t turned 
  on.
  
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  CHAPTER 4: FIELD GUIDE
  98
  Fog Form (Su)
  +2
  Most of the time a zombie is solid, but it can assume fog form at will. It can switch forms once per 
  round as a free action and can spend up to 20 rounds per day in fog form. A zombie in fog form can 
  ﬂy at a speed of 50 feet (perfect). This ability is otherwise similar to a gaseous form spell (caster level 
  7th).
  99
  Roll Twice
  100
  Roll Thrice
  D100
  Hunger
  CR
  Description
  01-30
  None
  The zombie isn’t hungry at all and doesn’t feed on anything.
  31-60
  Brains (Ex)
  +2
  The zombie craves brains.  On a successful grapple check, the zombie can attempt to crush and crack 
  open the victim’s skull. The victim must succeed at a Fortitude save (DC 15) to avoid this attack. If the 
  victim fails his or her save, the zombie then spends 1 round munching on the victim’s brain (an activity 
  that is usually fatal to the victim).
  61-80
  Blood Drain (Ex)
  +1
  The zombie can suck blood from a living victim by making a successful grapple check. If it pins its 
  foe, it drains blood, dealing 1d4 points of Constitution drain each round. On each such successful drain 
  attack, the zombie gains 5 temporary hit pints.
  81-90
  Life Force (Su)
  +2
  A zombie with this ability can sap a living opponent’s vital energy with a successful melee attack. A 
  successful melee attack automatically drains energy from the victim,  bestowing one negative level. If 
  an attack that includes an energy drain scores a critical hit, it bestows two negative levels. The zombie 
  gains 5 temporary hit points for each negative level it bestows on an opponent. These temporary hit 
  points last for a maximum of 1 hour. An affected opponent takes a –1 penalty on all skill checks and 
  ability checks, attack rolls, and saving throws, and loses one effective level or Hit Die (whenever 
  level is used in a die roll or calculation) for each negative level. A spellcaster loses one spell slot of 
  the highest level of spells she can cast and (if applicable) one prepared spell of that level; this loss 
  persists until the negative level is removed. Negative levels remain until 24 hours have passed or until 
  they are removed with a spell such as restoration. If a negative level is not removed before 24 hours 
  have passed, the affected creature must attempt a Fortitude save (DC 10 + 1/2 zombie’s racial HD + 
  zombie’s Cha modiﬁer). On a success, the negative level goes away with no harm to the creature. On a 
  failure, the negative level goes away, but the creature’s level is also reduced by one. A separate saving 
  throw is required for each negative level.
  91-100
  Fear (Su)
  +1
  The zombie is shrouded in a dreadful aura of death and evil. Creatures of less than 5 HD within a 60-
  foot radius of the zombie that look at it must succeed at a Will save or be affected as though by a fear 
  spell from a sorcerer of the zombie’s level. A creature that successfully saves cannot be affected again 
  by the same zombie’s fear aura for 24 hours.
  D100
  Vulnerability
  CR
  Description
  1-10
  Normal
  The zombie has the same vulnerabilities it had in life.
  11-20
  Daylight Powerlessness (Ex)
  -2
  The zombie is utterly powerless in natural sunlight (not merely a daylight spell) and ﬂees from it. 
  21-30
  Darkness Powerlessness (Ex)
  -2
  The zombie is utterly powerless in darkness (natural or magical) and ﬂees from it. 
  31-40
  Vulnerable to Acid
  -2
  The zombie takes half again as much (+50%) damage as normal from acid, regardless of whether a 
  saving throw is allowed, or if the save is a success or failure.
  41-50
  Vulnerable to Cold
  -2
  The zombie takes half again as much (+50%) damage as normal from cold, regardless of whether a 
  saving throw is allowed, or if the save is a success or failure.
  51-60
  Vulnerable to Electrical
  -2
  The zombie takes half again as much (+50%) damage as normal from electrical attacks, regardless of 
  whether a saving throw is allowed, or if the save is a success or failure.
  61-80
  Vulnerable to Fire
  -2
  The zombie takes half again as much (+50%) damage as normal from ﬁre, regardless of whether a 
  saving throw is allowed, or if the save is a success or failure.
  81-85
  Vulnerable to Holy Water
  -1
  The zombie takes half again as much (+50%) damage as normal from holy water (4d4 points of 
  damage).
  86-90
  Vulnerable to Sonic
  -2
  The zombie takes half again as much (+50%) damage as normal from sonic attacks, regardless of 
  whether a saving throw is allowed, or if the save is a success or failure.
  91-95
  Fear of Mirrors (Ex)
  -1
  The zombie cannot tolerate mirrors and will not knowingly enter an area with a mirror in it. Mirrors 
  don’t harm the zombie; they merely keep it at bay by causing it to recoil in fear. A recoiling zombie 
  must stay at least 5 feet away from a creature holding the mirror and cannot touch or make melee 
  attacks against the creature holding the mirror as long as the creatures wields the mirror. Holding a 
  zombie at bay with a mirror is a standard action.
  96-99
  Memories of Past Life (Ex)
  -1
  The zombie is driven into a rage by the fear and loathing inevitably directed toward it by the living.  If 
  a living humanoid treats the zombie like a normal person with a successful Bluff check (DC 20), the 
  zombie takes no action for 1 round and thereafter suffers a -2 morale penalty to all attacks directed at 
  that opponent.
  100
  Roll Twice
  
  CHAPTER 4: FIELD GUIDE
  D100
  Hardiness
  CR
  Description
  01-50
  Normal
  0
  The zombie is just as hardy as it was when it was alive.
  51-75
  Regeneration (Su)
  +2
  Damage dealt to the zombie is treated as nonlethal damage. The zombie automatically heals nonlethal 
  damage at a rate of 5 hit points per round. Fire and acid deal lethal damage to the zombie, which can’t 
  be regenerated.  Attacks that don’t deal hit point damage ignore regeneration. Regenerating zombies 
  can regrow lost portions of their bodies and can reattach severed limbs or body parts. 
  75-95
  Ouanga (Su)
  +1
  The ouanga is a small voodoo doll that stores the zombie’s life force. The only way to get rid of a 
  zombie with this power is to destroy its ouanga. Unless its ouanga is located and destroyed, the zombie 
  reappears 1d10 days after its apparent death.
  96-100
  Gigantism (Su)
  0
  The zombie bloats up to two size levels larger than its original size.
  High Ability
  01-30
  Normal
  0
  The zombie’s attributes remain the same.
  31-70
  Strong
  +1 The zombie’s Strength increases by +2.
  71-85
  Alert
  +1 The zombie’s Wisdom increases by +2
  86-90
  Fast
  +1 The zombie’s Dexterity increases by +2.
  91-95
  Cold Beauty
  +1 The zombie’s Charisma increases by +2.
  96-100
  Roll Twice
  D100
  Low Ability
  CR
  Description
  1-20
  Normal
  0
  The zombie’s attributes remain the same.
  21-50
  Mindless
  -2
  The zombie has no Intelligence score. The zombie loses all skills and feats.
  51-70
  Slow
  -1
  The zombie’s Dexterity decreases by –2.
  71-85
  Horriﬁc
  -2
  The zombie’s Charisma decreases to 1.
  86-90
  Unobservant
  -1
  The zombie’s Wisdom decreases by –2.
  91-95
  Weak
  -1
  The zombie’s Strength decreases by –2.
  95-100
  Roll Twice
  D100
  Special Attack
  CR
  Description
  01-20
  Normal
  0
  The zombie has no special attacks other than what it had in life.
  31-60
  Improved Grab (Ex)
  +1 When the zombie hits with its claws, it can attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking 
  an attack of opportunity. If it gets a hold, it can constrict.
  61-90
  Constrict
  +1 The zombie deals 1d6+2 on a successful grapple check, in addition to the zombie’s normal claw 
  damage.
  91-98
  Rage (Ex)
  +1
  The zombie ﬂies into a berserk rage after a certain trigger (speciﬁed by the Gamemaster) sets it off.  
  On the turn after becoming enraged, the zombie begins clawing and biting madly until either it or its 
  opponent is dead. It gains +4 to Strength, +4 to Constitution, and –2 to Defense. The zombie cannot 
  end its rage voluntarily.
  99
  Corrosive Touch (Su)
  +1
  The zombie’s touch is corrosive.  A zombie deals 1d6 points of acid damage to any creature or object 
  it touches.  If making an unarmed attack, this damage is in addition to any other damage the zombie 
  deals.  If the zombie successfully grapples or pins a foe, the grasp deals 2d6 points of acid damage.  
  If the zombie can entirely enclose an object (or a very small creature) in the grip of both of its hands, 
  it deals 3d6 points of acid damage.  The acid denatures 1 round after use, losing all efﬁcacy and the 
  ability to deal damage.
  100
  Roll Twice
  D100
  Contagion
  CR
  Description
  01-20
  Not Contagious
  21-80
  Zombie Fever (Su)
  +1
  Disease—bite, Fortitude DC 12, incubation period 1 day, damage 1d3 Con and 1d3 Dex. The save DC 
  is Constitution-based. An afﬂicted humanoid that dies of zombie fever rises as a zombie at the next 
  midnight. It is not under the control of the zombie that created it, but it hungers for the brains of the 
  living. 
  81-90
  Blood (Ex)
  +2
  A Successful hit on the zombie with a slashing or piercing weapon requires all creatures within a 
  10-foot radius to succeed at Reﬂex save (DC 13) or be sprayed with the zombie’s infectious blood.  
  Disease Blood, Fortitude DC 12, incubation period 1 round, damage 1d3 Con and 1d3 Dex. The save 
  DC is Constitution based. An afﬂicted humanoid that dies of zombie fever rises as a zombie at the next 
  midnight. It is not under the control of the zombie that created it, but it hungers for the brains of the 
  living.
  91-94
  Radiation (Ex)
  +2
  The zombie gives off radiation in a 30-foot radius. Anyone within range must make a Fortitude save 
  (DC 18), incubation period 1 day, damage 1d6 Con. The save DC is Constitution-based. An afﬂicted 
  humanoid that dies of radiation rises as a zombie at the next midnight. It is not under the control of the 
  zombie that created it, but it hungers for the ﬂesh of the living.
  95-99
  Death Kiss (Ex)
  +1
  A zombie that that makes a successful grapple check can attempt to spit a worm into its victim’s 
  mouth.  The victim can evade this attempt with a successful Reﬂex save (DC 15) or have a worm spit 
  into the victim’s mouth.  It can spit once per round so long as the grapple is maintained. The zombie 
  has 2d4 worms in it. See the “creep” entry for an example of this contagion.
  
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  11, touch 9, ﬂat-footed 11 (–1 Dex, +2 natural); BAB +0; 
  Grap +1; Atk +1 melee (1d6+1, slam); Full Atk +1 melee 
  (1d6+1, slam); FS 5 ft. by 5 ft.; Reach 5 ft.; SQ undead, 
  move or attack action only; AL none or creator; SV Fort +0, 
  Ref –1, Will +3; AP 0; Rep +0; Str 13, Dex 8, Con —, Int —, 
  Wis 10, Cha 1. Skills: None. Feats: Toughness. Possessions: 
  Burial clothes.
  Huge Crocodile Zombie: CR 6; Huge undead; HD 14d12 
  plus 3 (Toughness feat); hp 94; Init +0; Spd 20 ft., swim 30 
  ft.; Defense 15, touch 8, ﬂat-footed 15 (–2 size, +7 natural); 
  BAB +5; Grap +22; Atk +12 melee (2d8+13, bite), or +12 
  melee (1d6+13, tail slap); Full Atk +12 melee (2d8+13, bite), 
  or +12 melee (1d6+13, tail slap); FS 15 ft. by 15 ft.; Reach 
  10 ft.; SQ undead, move or attack action only, aquatic, 
  improved grab, low-light vision; AL none or creator; SV Fort 
  +9, Ref +6, Will +3; AP 0; Rep +0; Str 29, Dex 10, Con —, 
  Int —, Wis 10, Cha 1. Skills: None. Feats: Toughness.
  Designing a Zombie
  Zombies come in many different shapes and sizes; the chart 
  below describes in detail the types, vulnerabilities, attacks, 
  origins, and other characteristics of the zombies detailed 
  elsewhere in this chapter.  Alternatively, if you’d prefer to 
  design a new type of zombie from scratch (or customize an 
  existing zombie type), you can use table 4-1 to determine 
  the zombie’s characteristics and abilities, rolling 1d100 for 
  each zombie aspect or selecting from the available options.  
  Except where particular attributes contradict each other, 
  a zombie can have as many or as few of these attributes 
  as the Gamemaster deems appropriate.  Gamemasters are 
  encouraged to come up with new zombie attributes with 
  which to surprise and horrify players, using the ones listed 
  here as examples.
  ZOMBIE, ATOMIC
  Type: Construct
  Senses: None
  Defenses: Damage Reduction (10/Piercing)
  Movement: Normal
  Hunger: None
  Vulnerability: None
  Hardiness: Normal
  High Ability: +2 Str
  Low Ability: 0 Int, -2 Dex
  Special Attack: None
  Contagion: None
  Origin: Science
  CR: +0
  This well-dressed zombie wears a suit and tie.  It moves 
  mechanically and stares straight ahead.  Only the suture 
  across its forehead betrays its origins.
  Atomic zombies are reanimated with a brain implant and 
  replacement of bodily ﬂuids with radioactive chemicals.  
  They are powered by radium and must be recharged with 
  it once a day.  Their brains eventually disintegrate; atomic 
  zombies are only animated for a week. 
  Atomic zombies are the poor mad scientist’s astro zombie: 
  not nearly as powerful, but still capable of clubbing your 
  enemies to death.
   
  100
  Explode (Ex)
  +1
  The zombie can cause itself to explode, usually in a populated area.  This attack spews worms at every 
  living being within 30 feet.  A living target caught within this radius must make a Reﬂex save (DC 10) 
  to avoid having a particularly well-aimed worm enter an oriﬁce. See the “creep” entry for an example 
  of this contagion.
  D100
  Origin
  CR
  Description
  01-10
  Aliens
  Aliens decide that rather than put themselves at risk, they’ll just use the human leftovers (read: 
  corpses) and take over the Earth that way instead.  A few rays of extraplanar energy later and VOILA! 
  Instant zombies.
  11-15
  Cursed Ground
  An ancient curse causes all those on a particular spot of ground to turn into zombies.
  16-25
  Hell
  For one reason or another, demonic forces decide to escape hell and prance around on earth in the form 
  of bodies nobody’s using… the dead.
  26-30
  Lightning
  Lightning hits at just the right time, inexplicably reanimating the zombie.  Nobody knows why this 
  happens.
  31-35
  Love
  The zombie comes back because he’s really in love with somebody still alive.  
  36-40
  Meteor
  A meteor crashes into the Earth, irradiating the surrounding corpses with strange energy that causes 
  them to rise up as zombies.
  41-50
  Necromancy
  An insane necromancer (is there any other kind?) decides to use the undead as cheap labor and begins 
  reanimating people he didn’t like in life to do his bidding.
  51-55
  Parasite
  A strange parasite reanimates corpses as vehicles to ﬁnd and infect more hosts.
  56-60
  Plague
  Some kind of plague converts living humans into zombies—it might be spread by food, in the water, or 
  even in the air itself.  
  61-65
  Psychic Powers
  Through mental willpower alone, the dead are dragged back into life. 
  66-70
  Revenge
  The zombie in question gets really mad and comes back to avenge its killer(s).
  71-80
  Science
  Whether it’s experiments gone awry or the creation of a super soldier-program, the zombies are created 
  through man-made science.  Nazis are fond of creating undead super-soldiers. 
  81-85
  Toxic Spill
  Toxic chemicals dumped into a river overﬂow into the nearest graveyard, animating the dead.
  86-90
  Video
  Too much TV and videogames turns kids into zombies.  No really.
  91-100
  Voodoo
  A malicious bokor reanimates the dead for his own purposes.
  
  CHAPTER 4: FIELD GUIDE
  Combat
  Atomic zombies kill whoever they’re told to kill, like good 
  zombies.
  ZOMBIE, ASTRO
  Type: Construct
  Senses: None
  Defenses: Damage Reduction (10/Piercing)
  Movement: Normal
  Hunger: None
  Vulnerability: Darkness Powerlessness
  Hardiness: Regeneration
  High Ability: +2 Dex, +2 Wis
  Low Ability: 0 Int
  Special Attack: None
  Contagion: None
  Origin: Science
  CR: +2
  You see a humanoid wearing a skull-faced mask and dressed 
  in a black bodysuit. 
  Astro zombies are formerly living humans who have 
  had their minds wiped.  Their cells are then reactivated 
  electronically, creating a semi-living but highly malleable 
  servant that is susceptible to thought waves.  The skin and 
  vital organs are augmented by cybernetics to make them 
  exceptionally tough. Astro zombies are alert and move 
  quickly, unlike typical zombies. 
  Combat
  Astro zombies are just one step below actual robots.  They 
  act like robots too, even in combat. Which amounts to them 
  lumbering around and not hitting much.
  ZOMBIE, BLOODSUCKING
  Type: Undead
  Senses: None
  Defenses: Damage Reduction (10/Piercing)
  Movement: Normal
  Hunger: Blood Drain
  Vulnerability: None
  Hardiness: Normal
  High Ability: +2 Str, +2 Dex
  Low Ability: 0 Int
  Special Attack: None
  Contagion: None
  Origin: Alien
  CR: +4
  This shambling undead is hunched over, with glazed eyes 
  and a feral sneer on its lips.
  Created by the bloodsucking wind, these zombies move 
  quickly when they wish.  They can speak and are fully 
  interactive—interactive enough that they enjoy drinking the 
  blood of the living. 
  Combat
  Bloodsucking zombies run around at high speed, eager to 
  drink whatever slow-moving, blood-ﬁlled creature they can 
  get their hands on.
  ZOMBIE, BLUE
  Type: Undead
  Senses: Scent
  Defenses: Damage Reduction (10/Piercing)
  Movement: Shamble
  Hunger: Brains
  Vulnerability: Fire
  Hardiness: Normal
  High Ability: +2 Str, +2 Dex
  Low Ability: 0 Int
  Special Attack: None
  Contagion: Zombie Fever
  Origin: Science
  CR: +1
  
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  This shufﬂing, groaning undead has skin tinted with a bluish 
  hue.
  Your standard modern zombie, these undead are really 
  slow and difﬁcult to get rid of.  There’s just one way to do 
  it: a piercing blow, preferably to the head. They last around 
  10 years before the brain ﬁnally just collapses.  They crave 
  brains.  Delicious, spicy brains. But hey, who doesn’t?
  Usually, it’s a weird military gas that makes blue zombies.  
  In any case, they have no allegiance to anyone and very little 
  memory of their former lives.
  Combat
  Blue zombies like brains and will walk in a straight line 
  towards the nearest brains they can smell.
  ZOMBIE, BRAINLESS
  Type: Undead
  Senses: Normal
  Defenses: Cold
  Movement: Shamble
  Hunger: None
  Vulnerability: Fire
  Hardiness: Normal
  High Ability: +2 Str
  Low Ability: 0 Int, -2 Wis
  Special Attack: None
  Contagion: None
  Origin: Alien
  CR: 0
  This shambling corpse has white pupils, and blood drips 
  from the corners of its eyes.
  Brainless zombies are not particularly intelligent (they’re 
  brainless, get it?).  An autopsy performed on a destroyed 
  brainless zombie reveals that their brains are completely 
  smooth.  
  Combat
  Brainless zombies act at the behest of the hsing-sing that 
  created them, and thus only attack enemies of their master.
  ZOMBIE, CREEP
  Type: Undead
  Senses: Normal
  Defenses: None
  Movement: Shamble
  Hunger: None
  Vulnerability: None
  Hardiness: Normal
  High Ability: +2 Str, -2 Dex
  Low Ability: 0 Int
  Special Attack: Improved Grab
  Contagion: Spit Worm, Explode
  Origin: Alien
  CR: +3
  This animated corpse stumbles about wildly.  Something 
  pulses in its mouth, as if the zombie’s tongue had a life of its 
  own.
  Creep zombies contain creeps in their brains, and are 
  especially adept at spitting them into other peoples’ mouths.  
  Isn’t that delicious?  
  Other creeps create creep zombies, which accounts for 
  more kissing than takes place at most make-out sessions in 
  parents’ basements.
  Combat
  Creep zombies are less combatants than they are physical 
  delivery systems for explosive infestations of creeps.  If you 
  see one, it’s already too late.
  
  CHAPTER 4: FIELD GUIDE
  ZOMBIE, CRYONOID
  Type: Undead
  Senses: Normal
  Defenses: Immune to Electrical
  Movement: Shamble
  Hunger: None
  Vulnerability: Cold
  Hardiness: Normal
  High Ability: +2 Str
  Low Ability: 0 Int
  Special Attack: None
  Contagion: None
  Origin: Lightning
  CR: -1
  This bald zombie suffers from grievous wounds, has 
  glowing white eyes, and wears a thin, silvery 
  bodysuit.
  These zombies are the result of cryogenics 
  gone wrong.  When lightning strikes, the 
  zombies are animated.  
  The circumstances required to create cryonoid 
  zombies are rare—the subject must be dead, 
  cryogenically preserved, and then electrocuted with the 
  strength of a lightning bolt.  
  Combat
  Cryonoid zombies attack everything in sight in revenge for 
  being really cold for a really long time.
  ZOMBIE, DEMONIC
  Type: Undead
  Senses: Normal
  Defenses: Damage Reduction (10/Piercing)
  Movement: Fly
  Hunger: None
  Vulnerability: Daylight Powerlessness
  Hardiness: Normal
  High Ability: +2 Str, +2 Dex
  Low Ability: 1 Cha
  Special Attack: Improved Grab
  Contagion: Zombie Fever
  Origin: Hell
  CR: +4
  This humanoid ﬂoats like a demented marionette, its limbs 
  hanging in awkward positions.  Its eyes are covered over 
  with white mucus and its skin is translucent, with blue veins 
  pulsing everywhere.
  The problem with demonic zombies is that they’re not 
  slow, shambling morons.  They’re fast and smart and bitter 
  about life.  In fact, they never shut up.  
  Combat
  Demonic zombies ﬂy like drunken fools, hurling themselves 
  at their nearest foes so they can eat them.  They enjoy 
  biting but will use anything they can get their hands on as a 
  weapon.  Aim for the head—it may not kill them, but it will 
  stop the endless taunts.
  ZOMBIE, FOG 
  Type: Undead
  Senses: Normal
  Defenses: Immune to Fire
  Movement: Fog Form, Silent
  Hunger: None
  Vulnerability: None
  Hardiness: Normal
  High Ability: +2 Str
  Low Ability: -2 Dex
  Special Attack: None
  Contagion: None
  Origin: Revenge
  CR: +7
  Out of the fog steps a red-eyed leprous corpse, bloated from 
  its year spent at the bottom of the ocean. 
  Fog zombies are the victims of a curse.  They return to 
  wreak havoc on the ancestors of those who wronged them.  
  
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  Combat
  Fog zombies are fond of wielding instruments of death 
  typically associated with the sea—belaying pins, ﬁshing 
  hooks, etc.
  ZOMBIE, FORMALDEH YDE 
  Type: Undead
  Senses: Normal
  Defenses: Immune to Acid, Damage Reduction (10/
  Piercing)
  Movement: Shamble
  Hunger: None
  Vulnerability: Holy Water
  Hardiness: Normal
  High Ability: +2 Str
  Low Ability: -2 Dex, 0 Int
  Special Attack: Improved Grab, Constrict
  Contagion: None
  Origin: Science
  CR: +2
  You see a pale, bloody corpse that trudges along in hospital 
  robes, twitching as it walks.
  Formaldehyde zombies are the result of patients who died 
  in clinical facilities and were reanimated through a twisted 
  embalming process. 
  Combat
  Formaldehyde zombies like brains much more than do other 
  zombies.  They crush skulls and pop out the slippery brains 
  to add to their collection.
  ZOMBIE, KYOSHI SPAWN
  Type: Undead
  Senses: Normal
  Defenses: Damage Reduction (10/Piercing)
  Movement: Shamble
  Hunger: None
  Vulnerability: None
  Hardiness: Gigantism
  High Ability: +2 Str
  Low Ability: -2 Dex
  Special Attack: None
  Contagion: None
  Origin: Hell
  CR: +1
  This bizarre undead being has bulging eyes and a massive, 
  twisted form that strains with every step to contain itself from 
  bursting.
  Any living being that is killed by a kyoshi becomes a 
  kyoshi spawn.  Kyoshi spawn grow two size levels and are 
  mindless killing machines that hunger for human ﬂesh.
  Combat
  Kyoshi spawn are killing machines.  There’s nothing they 
  won’t kill, stomp, eat, mulch, and did we mention that they 
  eat everything in their path?
  ZOMBIE LORD
  Type: Undead
  Senses: Lifesense
  Defenses: Damage Reduction (10/Silver)
  Movement: Silent
  Hunger: Life Force
  Vulnerability: None
  Hardiness: Regeneration
  High Ability: +2 Str, +2 Wis
  Low Ability: 1 Cha
  Special Attack: Improved Grab, Constrict
  Contagion: Zombie Fever
  Origin: Voodoo
  CR: +12
  This zombie looks just like it did in life, save that its skin 
  has turned the pale gray of death and its ﬂesh has begun to 
  rot and decay. The odor of vile corruption and rotting meat 
  hangs about it; carrion-feeding insects buzz about, dining on 
  
  CHAPTER 4: FIELD GUIDE
  the bits of ﬂesh and ichor that drop from its body.
  The zombie lord is a living creature that has taken on the 
  foul powers and abilities of the undead. The zombie lord 
  seeks out places of death as lairs. Often, they live in old 
  graveyards or on the site of a tremendous battle—any place 
  where there are many bodies to animate and feast upon. 
  The mind of a zombie lord tends to focus on death and the 
  creation of more zombies (go ﬁgure). The regions around 
  their lairs are often littered with the decaying bodies—often 
  half-eaten—of those who have tried to confront the foul 
  creature. They seldom devise grandiose schemes, but will 
  frequently plan to take over a small town and turn its entire 
  populace into living corpses.
  Combat
  Zombie lords make other zombies do their bidding.  Many of 
  them are necromancers or bokors themselves.
  ZOMBIE, NAZI 
  Type: Undead
  Senses: Normal
  Defenses: Immune to Fire, Damage Reduction (10/
  Piercing)
  Movement: Swim
  Hunger: None
  Vulnerability: None
  Hardiness: Normal
  High Ability: +2 Str
  Low Ability: -2 Dex
  Special Attack: Rage
  Contagion: None
  Origin: Science
  CR: +6
  Beyond its anachronistic Nazi uniform, this zombie’s most 
  noteworthy features are its white pupils and the strips of 
  ﬂesh hanging from its face.  
  Mad scientists—mad Nazi scientists, to be precise—
  created Nazi zombies to be the ultimate soldiers, capable 
  of surviving in any environment (especially U-boats). 
  Unfortunately, they are also all quite psychotic, as only the 
  most violent psychopaths were selected for the experiment.  
  Nazi zombies were (and are) created using “Gamma Gas.”  
  There’s an obvious joke here, but in a rare show of restraint, 
  we will not use it.
  Combat
  Nazi zombies are cannibalistic and enjoy eating the ﬂesh of 
  the living. They are also smart enough to use military tactics.  
  
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  ZOMBIE, OKOKIYAT
  Type: Undead
  Senses: Normal
  Defenses: Damage Reduction (10/Piercing)
  Movement: Shamble
  Hunger: None
  Vulnerability: Fire
  Hardiness: Ouanga
  High Ability: +2 Str
  Low Ability: -2 Dex, 0 Int
  Special Attack: None
  Contagion: None
  Origin: Voodoo
  CR: -2
  This shufﬂing zombie is a moldy corpse devoid of any signs 
  of intelligence.
  Okokiyat zombies are created through voodoo magic by 
  sculpting an efﬁgy (an ouanga) out of wax or some other 
  substance.  The ouanga is then placed in a cofﬁn or some 
  other place of conﬁnement, where the bokor uses it to 
  control the okokiyat zombie.  
  Combat
  Okokiyat zombies don’t really ﬁght—they stumble and trip 
  into people.  Only the strategic mind of a bokor can put them 
  to effective use.
  ZOMBIE, PROTOZOAN
  Type: Plant
  Senses: Tremorsense
  Defenses: Damage Reduction (10/Piercing)
  Movement: Swim
  Hunger: None
  Vulnerability: Fire
  Hardiness: Normal
  High Ability: +2 Str
  Low Ability: -2 Dex, 0 Int
  Special Attack: None
  Contagion: None
  Origin: Toxic
  CR: -1
  This goggle-eyed, reptilian ﬁsh-man has green, slimy skin 
  and sharp claws.
  Spawned from radioactive waste, these strange zombies 
  aren’t typical undead.  They are in fact protozoan colonies 
  that have grown on and around the bones of human 
  skeletons, animating them as protozoan zombies.  In essence, 
  they’re plant people.  The average protozoan zombie stands 
  5 feet tall and weighs 175 pounds.
  Combat
  Protozoan zombies attack in waves in an attempt to 
  overwhelm their opponents, drag them back into the water, 
  and cleanse their bones for use in creating future protozoan 
  zombies.
  ZOMBIE, RADIATION
  Type: Undead
  Senses: Normal
  Defenses: Damage Reduction (10/Piercing)
  Movement: Shamble
  Hunger: None
  Vulnerability: None
  Hardiness: Normal
  High Ability: +2 Str
  Low Ability: -2 Dex
  Special Attack: None
  Contagion: Radiation
  Origin: Meteor
  CR: +3
  This living dead being has splotched and mottled skin, 
  vacant eyes, and sores all over its body as if it was recently 
  cooked.  Its eyes glow a sickly bright green.
  Radiation zombies are a modern phenomenon that is 
  spawned by large doses of radiation.  This radiation can 
  spring from government experiments, a meteor, a nuclear 
  meltdown, or eating too many Twinkies.
  Combat
  Radiation zombies are usually too fried to have any real 
  combat tactics.  Instead, they rely on the hostile nature of 
  their environment and their own radiation auras to bring foes 
  low.  
  ZOMBIE, REVENANT
  Type: Undead
  Senses: Lifesense
  Defenses: Damage Reduction (10/Piercing)
  Movement: Silent
  Hunger: None
  Vulnerability: Memories of Past Life
  Hardiness: Regeneration
  High Ability: +2 Str, +2 Dex
  Low Ability: None
  Special Attack: None
  Contagion: None
  Origin: Revenge
  CR: +8
  This zombie’s face is pale white, a mannequin mask of 
  vengeance.
  Revenant zombies reanimated themselves through sheer 
  force of will. They have but one goal: the death of their 
  murderers.
  
  CHAPTER 4: FIELD GUIDE
  Combat
  Revenant zombies are as capable as they were in life, only 
  more difﬁcult to destroy.  They take advantage of the tactics 
  of the living and may even try to blend into normal society 
  for a time, before their wounds become egregious.
  ZOMBIE, TEMPLAR
  Type: Undead
  Senses: Tremorsense
  Defenses: Damage Reduction (10/Piercing)
  Movement: Silent
  Hunger: Blood Drain
  Vulnerability: Memories of Past Life, Fear of Mirrors
  Hardiness: Normal
  High Ability: +2 Str
  Low Ability: -2 Dex
  Special Attack: None
  Contagion: None
  Origin: Curse
  CR: +4
  You face gray-hooded warrior monks wearing white tunics 
  decorated with blood-red ankhs.  Beneath the mantle you see 
  leathery ﬂesh and wisps of a beard.
  The Templars that returned from the Crusades turned out 
  to be as every bit as heretical as the Inquisition accused them 
  of being.  They forsook the cross for the ankh and sacriﬁced 
  victims to a malignant deity.  The local villagers eventually 
  retaliated by stringing them up.  Crows plucked out their 
  eyes, leaving them blind even in death.
  Combat
  Templar zombies are elite combatants and still wield their 
  swords.  They also ride zombie horses. No, really.
  ZOMBIE, TOXIC
  Type: Undead
  Senses: Normal
  Defenses: Immune to Acid
  Movement: Shamble
  Hunger: Normal
  Vulnerability: None
  Hardiness: Normal
  High Ability: +2 Str
  Low Ability: -2 Dex
  Special Attack: Corrosive Touch
  Contagion: None
  Origin: Toxic Spill
  CR: +3
  This mottled zombie is covered in pustules.  Its ﬂesh is 
  rubbery and wet and looks as if it could fall off the skeleton 
  it’s attached to at any moment.
  Toxic zombies are combative, violent, and bitter about 
  their lot in life.  They often try to resume their old lives with 
  little success.
  Combat
  Toxic zombies are fond of tossing opponents into the same 
  toxic goo that created them.
  ZOMBIE, ULTRASONIC 
  Type: Undead
  Senses: Normal
  Defenses: Damage Reduction (10/Piercing)
  Movement: Shamble
  Hunger: Normal
  Vulnerability: Sonic
  Hardiness: Normal
  High Ability: +2 Str
  
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  Low Ability: -2 Dex
  Special Attack: None
  Contagion: None
  Origin: Science
  CR: -1
  This humanoid has cracked, parchment-like skin and a blank 
  expression.
  Ultrasonic zombies are raised from the dead through… 
  well, ultrasonics.  A mad scientist can control ultrasonic 
  zombies via sound waves.
  Combat
  Like many other zombies, ultrasonic zombies rely on 
  strangling their victims.
  ZOMBIE, VIDEO
  Type: Undead
  Senses: Normal
  Defenses: Damage Reduction (10/Piercing)
  Movement: TV Travel
  Hunger: Fear
  Vulnerability: Memories of Past Life, Fear of Mirrors
  Hardiness: Normal
  High Ability: +2 Str
  Low Ability: -2 Dex
  Special Attack: Rage
  Contagion: None
  Origin: Video
  CR: +5
  This strange zombie ﬂickers in and out of reality as if it was 
  a bad transmission from a TV show.
  Video zombies manifest from televisions that play far too 
  many crappy horror movies.  We told you TV is bad for you!
  Combat
  Video zombies are mostly likely to appear in malls and other 
  places with lots of televisions.  
  
  HARDWARE MAN
  HARDWARE MAN
  Billy kicked the chair out from under his feet, 
  causing the rope around his neck to tighten as his 
  full weight ﬁnally, blessedly, made it possible to 
  hang himself.
  Hanging from the center of the room, Billy could 
  feel the blood swirl around the inside of his head.  
  All his eyes could focus on was the clock.  Its 
  hands inched along, slower and slower.  Or was 
  that his heartbeat?  He couldn’t tell.
  Tick.  
  The clock didn’t tock.  It just ticked.  Stupid clock, thought 
  Billy.  Nothing works around this damn place. 
  He hoped it would stop.  A century passed between the 
  ticks.  It occurred to Billy that there were many, many 
  moments within a second.  There was a lot of stuff you could 
  do in that space of time.  
  For God’s sake, why can’t I kill myself quickly?  
  The highest roof in his mom’s house was in the basement.  
  Which was ﬁne, because Billy lived there.  
  He was 30 and still living with his mom.  Why God hadn’t 
  stricken him down already out of sheer disgust at his pathetic 
  existence, Billy wasn’t sure.  But he was going to ﬁx that 
  little problem.  Just another…
  Tick.
  Good, thought Billy.  I’ll be dead any second now.  
  The last straw had been the Killer Robotz competition. 
  Billy, with his pal Gerald—whom everyone nicknamed 
  “Goofus” because he was such a goof—had created the 
  Spatulomatic Supreme, a whirling bot of doom with spatulas 
  for hands.  Sharpened spatulas.  
  It had seemed like a good idea at the time.
  It had seemed like a great idea, actually, up until the 
  unimaginatively named “Hackster” hacked Spatulamatic 
  up into tiny metal shards.  The crowd cheered.  Billy was 
  crushed.  Two years.  Two goddamn years and he…
  Why the hell aren’t I dead yet?
  Tick.
  Three seconds.  Come on!
  He was descending.  For a second, Billy postulated that 
  this was what death felt like.  Maybe he was going to hell.  
  Cool.
  There was a horrible creak as the beam over Billy’s head 
  ﬁnally gave up the struggle to bear his entire 258 pounds.  
  With a shriek of defeat, it snapped in half, dumping dust, rat 
  droppings, and the rope Billy had made out of the remaining 
  wires of Spatulamatic unceremoniously into a pile of pasty 
  limbs and electrical parts.
  Billy lay there for a while.  Maybe he would just die. He’d 
  heard stories about people who thought they were dead and 
  then really died because they believed it so strongly.  
  It became apparent after a few minutes that that wasn’t 
  going to happen.  Billy swore and rose up out of the pile, 
  a phoenix rising from the ashes—if the phoenix was a 
  fat, pale-skinned man in a stained shirt that read “Team 
  Spatulamatic” on the back.
  “Hey!” shouted Goofus from the open basement window.  
  “Hey, hey!”
  Billy took a deep breath and kicked some of the debris out 
  of the way.  He didn’t want to hurt Goofus’ feelings, but he 
  was beginning to even hate Goofus.  His only friend, and he 
  hated him.  Billy wanted to kill himself even more.
  Goofus was rail thin, a trait that wasn’t lost on the few 
  eligible women still in their small town. Especially when the 
  two friends stood next to each other. Billy was the fat one.  It 
  was a veritable plethora of comedy material.
  Goofus used his incredibly emaciated body to good effect, 
  slipping in doors, sliding through open windows, “hiding” 
  in lockers.  Goofus pretended he did the last “because it was 
  funny.”
  He slid in through the window, landing on his feet.  
  Despite his smooth landing, he stumbled backward and 
  smacked his head into the unpainted cement wall of the 
  basement.
  “Hey,” he said, rubbing the back of his head, “you know 
  that vacant lot right beside the gas station?”
  Billy picked up the glasses he’d left on the table next 
  to his computer.  The table wasn’t very far from his bed.  
  Actually, everything was in immediate reach.  
  “Yeah?” he said, noncommittally. That particular spot had 
  long since been paved over.  Billy’s dad used to work at the 
  factory there.  Billy didn’t visit that gas station.  Ever.  (It 
  helped that he didn’t have a car.)  Goofus hadn’t made the 
  connection.  Goofus had a very short-term memory—it was 
  why he was always so excited about things that any sane 
  human would be jaded and bitter about.
  “Well, somebody bought it.  They’re gonna build a shop 
  where we can go buy bolts and screws!”
  Billy took his glasses off and cleaned them on his shirt, a 
  nervous habit.  “Don’t fool with me today, Goofus.  That’s 
  not funny.”
  “No man, I’m serious! Where were you, anyway?  I’ve 
  been trying to call you all morning. I know today’s—well, I 
  know today’s the anniversary of your dad’s… uh…”
  “You can say it,” Billy snapped at him, a little more 
  vehemently than he meant to.  “He died.”
  Billy’s dad had been a cryogeneticist, specializing in 
  preserving bodies.  He’d won a Noble Prize for it.  Those 
  were the good old days, when his parents were happy.  Five 
  years seemed like ﬁve millennia, back when humanity was 
  ﬁguring out the secret of ﬁre. 
  Instead, one man was concocting something awful in a 
  laboratory.  Cryogenix said it was an accident, but Billy’s 
  family didn’t believe them.  His family knew that their pride 
  and joy, the smartest one in the family, could never have 
  made a mistake like that.  
  The accident was so bad that Cryogenix claimed there was 
  no body for the funeral.
  “Yeah.  Look, I’m sorry.  And maybe this isn’t appropriate, 
  but I thought you’d like the news.”
  Billy looked down at the pile of debris.  Goofus looked up 
  at the place where the broken beam had once been.  He put 
  
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  HARDWARE MAN
  one hand on Billy’s shoulder.
  “Dude.  You gotta stop trying to do pull-ups.  You’re too 
  heavy.”
  Billy shrugged.  That was in the past.  There was a 
  hardware store coming into town.  
  To the average person, a hardware store was an orange 
  and white symbol of civilization.  Mystical things happened 
  there.  From its loins, houses were built.  With tools from 
  the depths of its many aisles, pipes were mended, walls were 
  painted, and structures were built up and torn down.  It was a 
  place where man-made things went to die and be reborn. 
  To Billy and Goofus, it was the Holiest of Holies.  Within 
  were the magician’s tools of their craft.  And they weren’t 
  just tools—they were kickass tools, with turbofans and 
  heavy-duty grips and steel cores attached.  To two guys who 
  dreamed of killing other robots with spatulas, being able 
  to buy a chainsaw and a nail gun at the same store was… 
  orgasmic.  And they hadn’t experienced that without self-
  prompting in a long time.
  Billy looked over at Goofus, who looked a little too happy 
  for his taste. He smacked him.
  “Dude, I’m in the room.  Get your hand away from your 
  crotch.”
  Goofus blushed furiously.  Goofus blushed at the slightest 
  mention of sex.  “Whatever—I was not!  I’m just so juiced 
  about this store, man—you know what this means, right?”
  Billy cocked his head sideways.  “What?”
  “Jobs!  Finally, this crappy economy can kiss my ass!”  
  With all the enthusiasm of a preacher in a pulpit, Goofus 
  proclaimed his independence from the malaise that had been 
  haunting the town.  He also managed to use two instances of 
  bathroom humor in one sentence.  Goofus tended to do that.
  It wasn’t that he was an idiot; he was just very single-
  minded.  Goofus would say things like, “I got so hammered 
  last night that I nailed that chick.”  Only that would be in the 
  alternate universe where Goofus was actually cool.
  There was a creak over their heads.
  “Say,” Goofus said, pointing and gawking at the ceiling.  
  “Wasn’t that a load-bearing beam?”
  There was a loud crack and two large buttock-sized 
  imprints bump-bumped their way through the ceiling, 
  accompanied by a long screech that Billy correctly 
  interpreted as his mother coming to the sudden realization 
  that her grossly overweight form had become too much for 
  inanimate objects to bear.
  Goofus edged back towards the window.  “That’s my cue.  
  There’s going to be a lot of people tomorrow, so you know 
  we’re going to have to get there early.”
  Billy strained to hear him over the shrieking, “What?”
  “We’re going to have to Star Wars it.”
  “I am so not doing that for a job.  I…” Billy trailed off 
  as his mother stopped screaming to suck another massive 
  bellyful of air into her lungs. Goofus climbed out the 
  window.  He’d gotten better at exiting after he learned that 
  sticking around usually got him arrested by the police.
  The shrieking started again.  Goofus stuck his head back 
  in the window.
  “Coming?”
  Billy reached over, grabbed his sleeping bag, and stumped 
  up the stairs and out of his mother’s house.
  Maria adjusted her hair one more time, smacked her 
  perfectly applied lipstick, tugged her skirt down and then 
  on second thought hiked it up a little bit more.  She glanced 
  over at her cameraman.
  “Beautiful, Maria,” said Biggs, from behind the camera.  
  “The skirt thing’s a nice trick.”
  Maria smiled a sparkling white smile that was impossible 
  to achieve by natural means.  “I’m appealing to my core 
  demographic.”
  “Dirty old men?”
  Weston, the boom-man, started to have one of his giggle 
  ﬁts, but Maria shot him a look and he quieted down.
  “And we’re on in ﬁve, four, three,” Weston pantomimed 
  “two, one.”
  Maria tossed her hair back in just the right way.  
  “Welcome to this morning’s news at nine.  Today’s top 
  story: Will the New Y-Mart Produce Jobs or Freeze Us Out?”
  She gestured to the Y-Mart behind her.  It was a sprawling 
  blue and white structure with a big yellow sign that screamed 
  “Y-MART!”
  “I’m standing in front of the local Y-Mart, the ﬁrst of its 
  kind in this small town.  With its arrival comes the hope of 
  new jobs.  Unemployment is at an all-time high.”
  She turned to look at the Y-Mart, and then did a double 
  take. Below the camera’s view, Maria gestured at Biggs.  He 
  knew that the signal meant she wanted him to zoom in on 
  something.
  The camera zoomed in and focused on two guys rolled up 
  in sleeping bags out in front of the store.
  “Even now, the homeless are using the new store’s awning 
  as a shelter.  When did things get this bad? Most residents 
  know exactly when: ﬁve years ago, when a fatal accident 
  killed one Jonathan Wizzley.  Although the Wizzley family 
  wouldn’t talk to us on camera, we’ve pieced together the 
  tragic story that precipitated the beginning of the end for this 
  humble town.”
  Biggs rolled a tape that Maria had prepared separately 
  for the story. A picture of the cryogenics lab ﬁve years ago 
  ﬂickered into each of the 538 households in the area that had 
  the TV on.
  “The cryogenics company known as Cyrogenix Labs 
  catered to the rich; here in this small Arizona town, those 
  with enough money could be cryogenically preserved after 
  death. Although one might assume the Arizona sun would 
  be a detriment to the process of freezing the corpses of the 
  fabulously wealthy, Arizona’s low incidence of storms and 
  earthquakes actually makes it one of the safest places in 
  America for such procedures.
  “It was a growing business.  Local labor was used 
  throughout the construction of the complex, from building 
  an underground power generator to mixing the coolant tanks.  
  For a while, the town prospered.
  “But ﬁve years ago on October 4, Jonathan Wizzley, a 
  
  HARDWARE MAN
  longtime resident of the town and father of one, was killed in 
  a chemical spill.  The ensuing lawsuit raised questions about 
  how Cyrogenix handled their client’s bodies.  When relatives 
  of the frozen corpses decided to sue, Cryogenix folded.
  “Mrs. Wizzley’s story is typical of what happened next. 
  Although she received some money from the settlement, the 
  money would not last forever.”  More footage, taken the day 
  before, showed the police at the Wizzley house.
  “After Cryogenix’ collapse, a gas station chain opened 
  on the site.  Its owner’s vision was to take advantage of the 
  massive storage tanks buried deep beneath the town… but 
  there were problems.”
  A bucktoothed guy in a red trucker’s cap squinted at the 
  camera.  “Well, I tried to get the pumps cleaned out, but it 
  never worked right.  You know, they’d just sealed the thing 
  up in a hurry.  They didn’t even clean out the lab.”
  “You mean” —Maria’s voice, off camera—”the rumors 
  that foul play involving clients’ bodies led to Cryogenix’ 
  hasty exit are true?”
  The man squinted in Maria’s direction.  “Wot?”
  The footage ended and they were rolling again.  Maria 
  tossed her hair, just right.
  “Was Mr. Wizzley’s death due to foul play?  Although 
  the police ruled it an accident, rumors persist that Wizzley 
  discovered illegal research being conducted in—” 
  “Now that is just a load of horse-BEEP!” shouted a 
  gentleman in a ten-gallon hat, cowboy boots, and a black 
  duster.  He was stalking towards Maria.
  She whirled.  “This must be Jeffrey T. Cootes, the owner 
  of this franchise.  Mr. Cootes, do you care to comment on the 
  history of this place and why you chose this particular spot 
  for a Y-Mart?”
  Cootes took off his hat and wiped the sweat from his 
  balding pate.  “That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever 
  heard.  This is prime real estate. It took a lot of power tah 
  freeze people, and all of them tax dollars are ﬁnally bein’ put 
  tah use in a way that beneﬁts taxpayers.”
  “Taxpayers,” the camera swung over to the vagrants, “like 
  these homeless people sleeping on your front door?”
  Cootes stalked over to the two men wrapped in sleeping 
  bags.  “Now git!  Both of you, this ain’t a bus station.  Get—
  ”
  He suddenly remembered the camera.  Cootes’ six-foot 
  frame crouched down on his heels. 
  “Son, you have to get out of here,” he said in kinder tones.  
  “And try not to embarrass me on camera.”
  Billy blinked.  “Wha?  Who?”
  Goofus rolled over and moaned, “Tomorrow, baby.”
  Billy shook his head and sat bolt upright.  “Is it time yet?”
  Cootes blinked.  He looked over his shoulder, noted the 
  camera still rolling a few feet away.  He smiled and waved a 
  “don’t worry I know what I’m doing” wave.
  Then he turned back to Billy and Goofus with barely 
  restrained rage.
  “I don’t know what kind of joke you boys are pulling, 
  but—”
  “The interview,” Billy blurted out.  He wiped drool off one 
  cheek.  “We’re in line for jobs.”
  “What?  Boy, do you know what day it is?”
  Billy looked down at his wrist.  He’d forgotten his watch 
  in his haste to kill himself.  “Tues—” he looked at Cootes’ 
  expression, “Thurs—”  Realizing that the expression wasn’t 
  going to change no matter what he said, he played it safe: “A 
  day when we shouldn’t be here?”
  “That’s right, you damn fool!” Cootes hissed.  “It’s 
  Sunday.  Now if you just—”
  Maria was talking to the camera.  “Will Y-Mart bring back 
  the economy?  Not if this is any indication.  It looks like Mr. 
  Cootes is already turning away two homeless men looking 
  for jobs…”
  Cootes sprung back to his feet.  “Now, now, Miss, there’s 
  no reason to jump to conclusions.”
  In the background, Billy shook Goofus awake.
  “These two boys are my new store managers.  They got 
  here early,” said Cootes.
  Goofus shoved Billy back.  Billy pointed at the camera.  
  “They didn’t have the key to open the store.”
  Goofus gawked.
  “They’re such dedicated workers,” said Cootes, “that they 
  decided to wait here until I could show up.”
  Goofus began blowing grandiose kisses and mouthing, “I 
  love you all!”
  “That’s the Y-mart way!”
  Maria managed to stop staring at the spectacle behind him 
  and return her attention to Cootes.  “We’d like to take a look 
  around inside—”
  Cootes laughed nervously.  “Sorry, can’t do that,” he 
  walked briskly over to Billy and Goofus.  “We’ve got a…” 
  he fumbled with his keys as he unlocked the door, “busy… 
  day… ahead of us.”
  Billy and Goofus, who had stumbled to their feet, found 
  themselves being shoved past the sliding doors.  The doors 
  whistled shut behind them like something out of a science 
  ﬁction serial.
  ---
  Two glistening white ghosts, reﬂected in the glistening 
  Y-Mart ﬂoor tiles, stared wide-eyed back at the original 
  forms that gave them life, awed at their very presence in 
  this paradise.  The reﬂected shades glanced at each other, 
  blinked, and looked back out at the endless stretch of tiles 
  extending on as far as the eye could see.
  All around them were aisles upon aisles of hardware.  
  Hardware of all shapes and sizes.  Hardware that built things, 
  hardware that destroyed things, hardware that whirred and 
  clicked and ratcheted and turned and spun and cut and 
  buzzed.  They were the tools of man. They were the tools of 
  creation.  
  The goofy-looking reﬂection turned to the fat one.  “I 
  think I wet myself,” it whispered.
  Cootes’ shout broke the spell.  Billy looked up from his 
  reﬂection.  He’d never seen a ﬂoor that clean before.
  “You boys caused me a lot of trouble.  Git over here. 
  C’mon now.  GIT!”
  Cootes looked like he might kick them.  His boots were 
  
  56 of 67
  HARDWARE MAN
  tipped with polished steel, so Billy leapt to his feet and 
  dragged Goofus, still in mid-gawk, with him.
  Cootes was standing in front of a frosted glass-paned 
  ofﬁce.  His hand gripped the doorknob so tightly that his 
  knuckles turned white.  “Over here.  And don’t you dare stop 
  smiling—them movie cameras are still on us.”
  Billy looked over his shoulder.  Sure enough, Maria and 
  her camera crew were still rolling, carefully watching the 
  exchange.  Maria was narrating while the camera peered 
  over her shoulder at the three ﬁgures inside the Y-Mart. 
  Goofus waved.  Billy elbowed him in the ribs and dragged 
  him into the ofﬁce.
  Cootes slowly, ever so slowly, closed the door behind him.  
  It was the gesture of a man trying very hard not to lose his 
  temper.  He sat down at his desk with a huff.  “This is a ﬁne 
  mess you’ve gone and gotten us into.”  He leaned forward, 
  palms down on his desk.  “What in tarnation were you boys 
  doing in front of my store?”
  Goofus shrugged.  “We wanted to beat the lines.”
  Cootes tilted his head as if he had heard someone calling 
  his name in the distance.  “Lines?”
  “Yeah,” Goofus said in his irritating matter-of-fact manner.  
  “We knew there’d be a lot of people lining up to work at the 
  Y-Mart, and we wanted to be ﬁrst in line.”
  Cootes looked from Billy to Goofus, then back to Goofus.  
  “You’re serious.”
  Billy nodded.  “We’re here for a job.”  He gulped as 
  Cootes stared him down.  “…sir.”
  Cootes leaned back into his leather chair.  It creaked as 
  he riﬂed through his desk drawer, pulled something out 
  and stuck it between his teeth.  He began chewing on the 
  toothpick thoughtfully.
  “So let me get this straight.”  He planted two booted heels 
  up on the desk.  “You two came here on a Saturday night.  
  You brought your sleeping bags.  You camped out in front of 
  my store in the freezing cold”—Arizona nights could drop 
  up to 30 degrees below daytime temperatures—”all because 
  you want jobs at a hardware store?”
  “Yep,” said Billy.
  Cootes shook his head in disbelief.  “Do you know who I 
  am, boys?”
  Billy thought hard.  “Well, I’d guess you’re the owner of 
  this store.”
  “Very good.  You’re right.  And let me tell you 
  something—EVEN I DON’T WANT TO WORK HERE 
  THAT BADLY!”
  His face had turned red.  The camera lens outside the front 
  door turned to focus on their conference.  
  Cootes wiped one hand over his face.  It was an amazing 
  transformation—by the time his hand reached his chin, 
  Cootes had regained his composure.
  “I should just kick your stupid asses to the curb for all the 
  trouble you’ve caused me this morning,” he snapped.  Billy 
  felt something hard drop into the bottom of his stomach and 
  threaten to blow through his intestines.  
  “But,” Cootes said, his lips moving as if his face was 
  ﬁghting what he was going to say next.  “I just told that nice 
  news lady outside that you’re working for me.  So—”
  Goofus grinned his crazy grin.  It was much too big for his 
  thin face.  “You’re going to hire us.”
  Cootes looked as if someone had just run over his dog.  
  With a lawnmower. 
  “Tell me you have sales experience.”
  Billy shook his head.  Goofus thought for a moment and 
  then shook his head.
  “Register experience?”
  No response.
  “Ever work in a hardware store before?”
  “Uhm, no?”
  Cootes’ faced was starting to turn red again, “Do you 
  know… anything?”
  “We have passion,” said Goofus.  
  “We built killer robots in the Killer Robotz competition 
  and lost.”
  Cootes buried his face in his hands.  A long moment of 
  uncomfortable silence followed.  Eventually, he came up for 
  air.
  “Alright.  This is what we’re gonna do.  You’re gonna 
  work for me as night stockers, just in case little Miss Priss 
  over there decides to drop by for another photo shoot.”
  Goofus and Billy high-ﬁved each other.  
  “But if you screw up, you’re out.  After a couple of weeks, 
  if you’ve actually managed to do a good job, I might let you 
  continue working here.”  
  His expression said “I can’t wait to ﬁre both of you,” but 
  Billy chose to ignore it.
  “Report at 7 a.m. tomorrow for orientation.  We’ve got to 
  train you boys to do something useful.”
  “Yes sir!” they exclaimed simultaneously.
  “You’ll be working the night shift.  It doesn’t pay much.  
  Nobody wants that shift.  You’ll be working with the most 
  pathetic, irritable, idiotic group of losers this side of…” 
  suddenly Cootes seemed to remember who he was talking to.  
  “You’ll do ﬁne.”
  Billy and Goofus sprang up.  Cootes sniffed at Billy.
  “Jesus, you smell like cat piss.  Be sure to take a shower 
  tomorrow.”
  “I told you to move the litter box further away from your 
  bed, dude!” whispered Goofus, far too loudly.
  They started to leave.
  “What are your names, anyway?”
  “He’s Billy,” said Goofus, jabbing a thumb into Billy’s 
  considerable gut. “And me?  I’m Goofus.”
  Cootes leaned on his desk again, tilting his head.  “Say 
  what?”
  Goofus enunciated more slowly and loudly: “Goof… us?” 
  Cootes suddenly stood up.  “What the—what’s your real 
  name, boy?”
  Goofus blanched. “Gerald, sir.”
  Cootes nodded.  “That’s more like it.  All right, Gerald, 
  Billy,” he put his hand out, “welcome to Y-Mart.”
  Billy looked at the extended hand in awe.  No man had 
  offered to shake his hand before.  He grabbed it, pumped it 
  softly.
  
  HARDWARE MAN
  “You shake hands like a girl,” Cootes spat in disgust.  He 
  grabbed Billy’s hand again, “When you shake it, ya SHAKE 
  it like ya MEAN it.”  He pumped Billy’s hand twice, hard 
  enough that it throbbed.
  When it was Goofus’ turn, he put both hands on Cootes’ 
  scaly paw and pumped it three times for good measure.
  Cootes leaned on the door to his ofﬁce as Billy and Goofus 
  perambulated towards the now camera-less entrance.
  “You boys have a lot of enthusiasm.  You hold onto that 
  and you might just survive the Y-Mart experience.”
  They ﬂashed smiles back at him.  The doors whisked shut 
  behind them again, this time with a note of ﬁnality.
  Billy turned to Goofus, “Did he say ‘survive?’”
  The sound echoed its way across the white-tiled ﬂoors of 
  the Y-Mart.  The light of the rising sun illuminated windows 
  that stretched the length of the store. A large, rotund shadow 
  hobbled across a long row of nervous employees.
  Click, thump.  Click, thump.  
  “Welcome to the ﬁrst day of the rest of your lives,” said 
  the gruff, mostly masculine voice of former sergeant Fran 
  “The Man” McGallister.  “I suppose most of you think that 
  you’ve got what it takes to work at Y-Mart.”
  She continued to ramble on.  Goofus whispered out of the 
  side of his mouth to Billy, “Ohmygod I think that mole on 
  her neck winked at me.”
  Billy hushed him.
  “Dontlookatit, dontlookatit, dontlook—here she comes!” 
  Goofus hissed.
  Click, thump.  Click, thump.  Click, thump-thump.  The 
  false foot afﬁxed to Fran’s left leg wasn’t exactly the 
  pinnacle of structural engineering.  
  “…I work my people hard here.  I like to think of myself 
  as tough but fair.  You keep your noses clean and you’ll do 
  all right.  You screw up, and you’re out.  There’s no second 
  chances here.  At Y-Mart, we hire only the best.”
  She paused to stare Goofus straight in the eyes.  “And 
  then, we make the best cry like babies and sort out the 
  women from the wimps.  What is SO FUNNY…” she 
  looked down at Goofus’ nametag, “Mick?”
  Goofus had ﬁlled out his nametag as “Mick E. Maus.”  It 
  should have been obvious, but nobody caught it because the 
  ﬁrst name, “Mick,” was written in huge letters with the “E. 
  Maus” in microscopic print beneath it.  
  Goofus struggled to stretch his lips together over his 
  considerable chompers.  “Just excited about the job,” he 
  coughed, “ma’am?”
  Fran glared at him for a long moment.  Goofus’ expression 
  didn’t change.  He was the kind of guy whose head could be 
  on ﬁre and his smarmy expression wouldn’t change.  
  “Stand over here,” she pointed at a spot uncomfortably 
  close to her.  In proﬁle, Fran looked like spit on a string. 
  Goofus complied.
  “I’m an impatient mother who’s never been in a hardware 
  store before.  You!”—she pointed at Billy—”Stand next to 
  me and whine like a baby.”
  Billy blinked. 
  “What?”
  “You heard me, Chuckles.  Move it!”
  Billy took two halting steps over to her.  Much to his 
  dismay, his shadow signiﬁcantly overshadowed hers.  
  Damn.  There were female employees here he was hoping to 
  impress—or failing that, he hoped at least to not cause them 
  to run screaming in horror.
  The hooked nose swung back to face Goofus, whose 
  smarminess was actually radiating off of him in physical 
  waves.  He lifted his chin in a gesture of affability.  
  “How can I help you, ma’am?”
  “I’ve decided to build a bunk bed for my two sons.”  She 
  grabbed Billy by the ear and yanked hard, “OWWW!” he 
  wailed. Fran approved.  “And I don’t know how to put it 
  together. What do I do?”
  For the ﬁrst time in his life, Goofus thought for a moment 
  before he said anything.  “What kind of tools do you have?”
  Fran blinked.  The vast warehouse that was Y-Mart was 
  silent except for a cool breeze that made the hairs on Fran’s 
  chin gently sway to and fro.  Billy was torn between staring 
  at the hypnotic motion of her chin hairs and wailing in pain 
  like a baby.
  “Not much,” Fran replied.  “I’m pretty handy.  I’ve built a 
  sauna and a deck before.”
  Goofus stuck out his lower lip and nodded.  “I see.  Yes, 
  well, for a basic model, you’ll need a circular saw, a drill, 
  and a socket.  We have plans you can purchase here, and 
  we’re running a sale on cordless drills, if you’re interested.”
  Fran’s jaw dropped open, granting Goofus a view no 
  dentist alive had ever witnessed.  She turned to the endless 
  army of new employees who stared on in shock.
  Click, thump.
  “Now this,” Fran said, her voice ﬁlled with something 
  Billy strongly suspected was respect, “is how you should 
  address a customer. Notice that Mick asked a question ﬁrst 
  before answering.  He accommodated my needs without 
  making me feel inadequate.  He even recommended another 
  item we have on sale.”
  She still hadn’t let go of Billy’s ear.  He had stopped 
  wailing and was now waiting patiently, hunched over.
  “And most importantly,” Fran said in a deep voice, “he 
  never talked down to me because I was a woman.”
  Billy shot a glance over at Goofus.  He mouthed, “What?” 
  Goofus shrugged and smiled.
  “Excellent.  Back in line, boys.”
  They stumbled back into line.  She resumed her slow 
  march in front of her troops. Click, thump.  Click, thump.
  “You follow Mick’s example and you’ll go far.  
  Remember, at Y-Mart, we believe that customers shouldn’t 
  waste their money on over-priced items at other stores when 
  Y-Mart offers the same or similar items for less.”
  Fran lifted one hand, pointing a gloved ﬁnger into the air.  
  She was the Napoleon of hardware stores. 
  “What’s our motto?”
  “Shop Y-Mart!” shouted the assembled employees in 
  unison, “Because… y-not?”
  Fran hobbled off out of earshot.  
  
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  HARDWARE MAN
  Billy stared at Goofus in disgust.  “Stop looking so smug 
  with yourself.”
  Goofus tilted his head in mock sympathy.  “Aw, don’t be 
  so mad—you made a great baby.”
  Billy poked Goofus in the ribs with his elbow, still facing 
  forward.  “Very funny.  Was she looking?”
  “Who?”
  “Was SHE looking?  You know who I’m talking about.”
  Goofus bent over to stretch his considerable upper torso 
  out.  He craned his neck left, then right.
  “Oh yeah, there she is!”
  “SHHHH!” Billy whispered.
  “Jill’s over there,” Goofus whispered.  “Man, is it just me 
  or does she get hotter over time?”
  Jill Metz, the object of Billy’s affection, stood at attention, 
  her wide doe eyes looking up in a combination of awe and 
  terror at Fran. She was petite, with a pert nose, perfect 
  makeup, and long, sandy blonde hair tied up in a ponytail.  
  Her vacuous stare made it clear that, despite his brilliant 
  performance, Billy had never actually entered her mind.  
  She was an actress.  Billy had, at the height of his romantic 
  aspirations, been a member of the special effects crew in 
  high school.
  It had been a strange dichotomy.  Both groups were on 
  stage, but only one was visible.  In such a small town, 
  the actors were preened over like Hollywood stars.  The 
  special effects crew was virtually ignored and consisted of 
  pyromaniacs, science geeks, and creeps who tried to peek at 
  the actresses undressing just off stage.  They had conducted 
  a dozen plays, including “Dance of the Werewolves” and 
  “Ripper’s Bad Day,” but through them all, Jill had never 
  noticed Billy.
  “Dude,” said Goofus, “she didn’t notice.  Your reputation 
  is saved.  And she wasn’t talking about you in the yearbook 
  either.”
  Billy didn’t believe him.  Jill had written a poem in her 
  yearbook.  It read “Sometimes a strong wind must blow to 
  remove the fog for us to see clearly.”
  Billy was in charge of the fog special effects.  And he 
  was sure, with a sweaty, unshakable conviction, that SHE. 
  MEANT. HIM.
  Goofus snapped his ﬁngers in front of Billy. “The only 
  time she noticed you was when she bumped into you that 
  one time—”
  “On June 17, 1987, 7:18 p.m., Mountain time,” Billy 
  blurted out automatically.
  Goofus took a deep, sympathetic breath.  “Just follow my 
  lead and I’ll try to make you look cool.”
  Before Billy could brutally smack the crap out of Goofus, 
  a shout interrupted their conversation.
  “Hey!” shouted Fran from somewhere out of sight at the 
  far end of the line of employees. “Chatty Cathies!  Front and 
  center!  You two get the night shift with me. Stand over with 
  your team leader.”
  Billy realized that Fran was behind them.  He swiveled 
  his head around.  “That’s right…” she squinted at Billy’s 
  nametag and then gave up.  “Mick, get your buddy over 
  here.”
  Goofus offered his arm to Billy.  Billy shoved him as 
  they made their way over to stand behind Fran, which was 
  almost as much fun as facing her front. She was rattling off 
  names and pointing employees in different directions.  Billy 
  recognized some of the names.
  “Terence Jameson!” He had made fun of Billy in 
  elementary school and slammed him up against a locker 
  once for no discernable reason.
  “Jeremy Dreggs!” Dreggs was a burnout from high school 
  who had tripped Billy one day in the hall.
  “Robert Riley!” Robert was a punk.  The only signs of his 
  remaining punkness were the multiple earrings in his ears.  
  Robert had played a mean trick on Billy once—sending him 
  ﬂowers from Jill.  Fortunately, Goofus had discovered it was 
  fake before Billy really embarrassed himself.  
  “Jesus,” Goofus whispered, “and I thought we were the 
  only losers in town.”
  “Jill Metz!”
  Goofus did a little dance, spun on his heel, and made a 
  gesture as if to high-ﬁve his friend.  Billy didn’t respond, but 
  he did nearly lose control of his bowels.  
  Jill sauntered over warily to her motley crew of comrades. 
  Goofus grinned a shark’s grin at the much smaller Jill.  
  “Hi Jill!” he practically shouted.  
  “Hi,” she said, glancing at his nametag, “Mick.”
  He put his arms around Jill and Billy’s shoulders.  “I can’t 
  wait for us all to be working together!”
  Jill and Billy both looked at him in dismay.
  Sniff’s whiskers twitched as he padded out onto the waxy 
  surface of his old hunting grounds.  The loud, smelly things 
  were gone.  It was time for his usual midnight feast.
  The little white mouse darted to and fro in a zigzag pattern 
  meant to deter pursuers.  It was an unnecessary precaution, 
  as there was no one present to catch him in the act of eating 
  chips.  Sniff had come to rely on the employees’ absence at 
  the same time every night.  His routine was perfectly timed, 
  so much so that he would dart out mere seconds after they 
  had all run off to do whatever loud, smelly things do.
  Sniff sniffed the air, his pink eyes scanning the lowest 
  shelf.  Children always left behind the most tender morsels, 
  and the cleaning staff tended to sweep things underneath the 
  shelf rather than actually bend over to pick them up.
  Finally, his little mousey head focused on a particularly 
  juicy ﬁnd—a large chip the size of his head.  He chattered 
  with delight and took one step forward…
  He stopped.  Something in the air felt wrong.  
  “Ah ha!” shouted Fran as she brought her heel down hard 
  in the spot where the mouse had been only a split second 
  before. 
  Sniff took off, resuming his zigzag pattern, scurrying as 
  fast as his little legs would carry him.  Like some kind of 
  mad, lumbering ogress, Fran ka-klumped behind him in hot 
  pursuit.
  “Mick!  Jill!” she bellowed, suspecting that there was no 
  one within earshot.  “Where the hell are you, you little snot-
  
  HARDWARE MAN
  weasels?  We’ve got mice in here!” 
  Fran pulled an attachment from her belt.  “This calls for 
  the Stomper,” she said, ﬁddling with what looked like a 
  shovel that was bent at its neck. 
  “I swear to God, I come in here trying to save these idiots 
  from the storm of the century and they’re off doing who-
  knows-what,” Fran mumbled as she lurched after the mouse.
  She hopped on one foot, still in pursuit, and disconnected 
  her normal peg leg.  In an instant, the Stomper was in place.
  “Now come to MAMA!” she chortled as her click, thumps 
  turned into WHAM! thump, WHAM! thump, WHAM!
  She turned a corner.  The wide aisles of Y-Mart were 
  empty.  Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
  Fran’s head swung left, all of her senses bent on detecting 
  the elusive vermin.  “When I get a hold of the night 
  managers, they are so ﬁred.”
  A strange sound echoed to the right.  Her head snapped in 
  that direction.  It sounded like a party.  
  Fran knew that sound. It was the sound of a crowd 
  cheering. She turned to listen.  
  Sniff had been waiting for the horrible noises to stop.  
  Before him lay the vast desert of ﬂoor, its mismatched 
  checkered pattern tempting the tiny white mouse to expose 
  himself.  On the other side of the expanse was safety and 
  The Room.  It was risky, but anything was better than the 
  clashing, smashing thing that was stalking him.
  He went for it just as Fran’s mighty head swiveled back to 
  scan her surroundings.  
  A shout of “AH HA!” was immediately followed by the 
  clanging smash of Fran’s pursuit.  The mouse turned a corner 
  and, to Fran’s amazement, went right through the wall ahead 
  of her.
  Y-Mart was big—real big.  It was easy to get lost; on more 
  than one occasion Fran had found coworkers “in ﬂagrante,” 
  too secure in the knowledge that no one would ﬁnd them.  
  But Fran knew her store inside and out.  And she had never 
  noticed any holes, especially smack in the middle of the wall 
  she now faced.
  Fran grabbed a ﬂashlight from her belt and scanned the 
  wall.  The hole was actually a small chip in a larger seam 
  running along the wall’s surface.
  She beamed the light up the wall’s length, illuminating the 
  anomaly.  It was a large door, painted over countless times.  
  From the looks of the rectangular dirt marks on the ﬂoor, a 
  shelf had stood in front of it for a long time.  
  Fran sniffed.  It was bad enough that her employees were 
  gooﬁng off.  Now she had found a door that wasn’t supposed 
  to be there. She had stumbled upon two other hidden rooms 
  in the past, and on both occasions had regretted it—dust, 
  papers, old computers, and moldy donuts, all from the 
  Place That Was Before.  And nests of mice.  That’s how the 
  buggers propagated.
  Well, she would ﬁx that.
  Fran lifted her leg and swung it in a wicked arc towards 
  the seam.  It connected with a dull thud, rending the gyp 
  board into an avalanche of ﬂakes.  Fran followed up the 
  assault with a shoulder ram.  As she slammed into it, the 
  door gave way unexpectedly, spilling her into darkness.
  Billy grinned like a maniac as his new Spatulator 3000 
  whirled into action.  With an upside-down lawnmower 
  engine mounted on its dorsal side, it spun the spatulas at 
  such speed that they became a single disc of whistling death. 
  Billy ﬂipped a switch on the remote and the Spatulator 
  lurched forward on small, rickety wheels towards its 
  mechanical opponent. Jeremy, who had taken a keen 
  interest in Billy’s lifelong passion, piloted a hammer-armed 
  monstrosity called MC. His bots were not quite up to the 
  deadly capabilities of those crafted by Goofus and Billy, but 
  they made for good competition.
  The arena was a carefully constructed series of shelves, 
  all of them bordered by impenetrable crates.  It had taken 
  them months, but Goofus and Billy had managed to direct 
  the night staff to stack boxes and maneuver shelves in such 
  a way as to create a large, square arena.  Because the Y-
  Mart warehouse was so large, it was nearly impossible to 
  determine the exact width and depth of any one particular 
  aisle.  It had become their secret, and it made their abusive 
  employment tolerable.  Even Jill watched with an expression 
  of only mild distaste, swinging her legs from her favorite 
  crate.
  There was a loud boom.  The two combatants were far too 
  enthralled with their mindless automatons to take note of the 
  sound, but Goofus looked up.  
  The boom thundered again.  A few other employees 
  glanced skywards.  Then came the clatter of what sounded 
  like a thousand forks and spoons bouncing off the roof. 
  “Must be a storm,” Goofus said dismissively. 
  Billy waved him away.  “This place is like a fortress,” he 
  said absentmindedly as he spun the Spatulator into a deadly 
  arc that severed the antenna of MC.  “But still…”
  Goofus stood up on another crate.  “Loser has to go on 
  leak patrol!”
  The crowd went wild.  Billy looked up, distracted, and MC 
  took the opportunity to hammer the Spatulator with a blow 
  that warped its blade.
  “Dammit!” shouted Billy as he yanked down hard on the 
  controls.  “Now look what you did,” he shouted sideways 
  at Goofus, his eyes still on his robot, which was lumbering 
  unsteadily along in the middle of the arena.  “You broke 
  my—”
  There was a loud pop and the air was abruptly suffused 
  with the taste of ozone.  The lights went out.
  “—concentration?” Billy said in the hush that followed.
  There was a heart-stopping second when Fran thought 
  she had smashed into a switchbox and was the cause of the 
  blackout.  But then she heard the backup generator kick in.  
  The lights would be back on soon.
  She blinked, her eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness.  
  The only thing she could make out was a single blinking red 
  dot near the top of the ceiling. 
  Fran squinted.  She theorized that an emergency spotlight 
  had probably malfunctioned; maybe she could turn it on.  All 
  
  60 of 67
  HARDWARE MAN
  thoughts of the mouse forgotten, Fran thudded closer to the 
  light.
  There was a strange breeze from her right.  “Multiple 
  corridors,” Fran muttered. “Huh.” 
  Ka-THOOM.
  Fran’s head snapped up.  That was the lights clicking on 
  row by row. 
  Ka-THOOM.  A light at the end of the side corridor went 
  on, illuminating someone beneath it. The ﬁgure was walking 
  slowly and the light caught the back end of oily, coifed hair.
  Fran peered into the darkness in front of the sharply 
  illuminated circle.  For a second there it looked like… nah, 
  impossible.
  Ka-THOOM.  Another light went on in front of the ﬁrst 
  one.  This time she got a glimpse of tinted glasses and a 
  white velour suit.  
  “What the… well I’ll be.  I knew you weren’t dea—”
  Ka-THOOM.  The light over Fran highlighted her from 
  above, making her look even more disturbing than usual.  
  She put one hand in front of her eyes and looked down to let 
  her vision adjust.
  Several things happened at once.  Looking down, Fran saw 
  her forgotten quarry.  The mouse was darting in the direction 
  of the red blinking light. Simultaneously, a strange tittering 
  came from the far end of the corridor, from near the red 
  light.  It was a series of mechanical, high-pitched beeps in 
  rapid succession.  
  The room was suffused with ﬂickering hellﬁre as the 
  muzzle of a snub-nosed machine gun lit up, ﬁring hot death 
  in a sparking line right towards Fran.  She yelped and dove 
  into the side corridor where she had seen the stranger.
  The mouse was gone, obliterated.  There was a smoking 
  hole where Sniff had once been.  If there was any blood, 
  Fran couldn’t see it.  
  “Jesus!” Fran put one hand out behind her, peering around 
  the corner at the wall-mounted machinegun.  The sensor 
  blinked ominously, but the gun had resumed its previous 
  position.
  “Don’t step out into the corridor, mister, or that thing’ll 
  blow you back to Graceland.”
  There was a soft shufﬂing behind her.  “Hey,” Fran said as 
  she turned around, “you hear me?”
  Two icy-cold hands wrapped around her throat in 
  response.
  Given that the robot battles taking place in Y-Mart were 
  of a highly unofﬁcial nature, the normal regulations that 
  ensured the constructed monstrosities were kept within 
  destructive boundaries were relaxed.
  Thus “Buzzkill,” a buzzsaw-chucking little bot that had 
  necessitated the construction of Plexiglas shields around the 
  arena.  Given the impromptu spirit of the staff, the “shield” 
  consisted of two large pieces of Plexiglas propped up against 
  crates.
  It was from the sanctuary behind this protective shield that 
  the crowd cheered as the storm raged on outside. The sudden 
  blackout had caused the last match to end in a draw, so 
  Billy’s Spatulator was once again defending its title against 
  Buzzkill.  There were three buzzsaw blades embedded in 
  various crates and sheets of Plexiglas around the arena, but 
  none in Spatulator.
  Goofus was going head-to-head against Billy, a fact 
  that was difﬁcult to ignore because Goofus gyrated, 
  screeched, and hopped around like a maniac when he was 
  piloting his bot.  He was more animated than the bots 
  themselves—Goofus had actually managed to twist his ankle 
  by overexerting himself during a robot battle.  This was 
  why Billy made Goofus build the bots while Billy stuck to 
  piloting them in the Killer Robotz Competition.
  “You are so dead!” Goofus shouted at the top of his lungs 
  as lightning crackled in an ominous but well-timed moment 
  above him, illuminating the arena in a pastiche of black and 
  gray. 
  Taking the atmospherics as his cue, Goofus ﬂipped a red 
  switch and another buzzsaw began spinning madly in place 
  above Buzzkill’s tiny wheels.  Goofus theorized that the 
  blade spun at over 100 miles per hour, but nobody cared 
  enough to actually test it.
  Just then, Elvis walked in.
  Goofus started, in a way that made him look like he’d 
  been hit in the face with a baseball bat.  He took a few steps 
  back and pointed, raising the other hand to his mouth.
  There stood Elvis.  He was looking a little leaner, but his 
  white velour suit was intact.  His skin had a bluish tinge to 
  it, but that could have been the lighting. He wore his tinted 
  sunglasses—it was not Young Elvis.
  “Ohmygod!” someone shouted.
  Buzzkill’s buzzsaw blades continued to rotate, passing the 
  50 MPH mark.
  “We are so dead,” someone else muttered.
  The buzzsaw blades hit their maximum speed, whistling as 
  they went sonic.
  “I knew he wasn’t dead!” said Jill, her suspicions ﬁnally 
  conﬁrmed.
  There was a whistling sound. Elvis leaned forward as 
  if nodding his approval of the grand spectacle of battling 
  robots and employee apathy before him.  But then his head 
  kept going and slid clean off, shattering on the ground as it 
  exploded into a thousand little pieces.
  Behind the headless Elvis, a single buzzsaw blade was 
  buried inches deep in a wooden shelf. 
  For a few moments, the only sound was the WUBBA-
  WUBBA-ing of the buzzsaw blade. Then that too ﬁnally 
  stopped.
  “Well,” Billy said quietly, “he’s dead now.”
  Fran dragged herself into the dark room and slammed the 
  door shut behind her.  She fumbled for the lock, found it, 
  locked it, and slumped against the door. 
  They were beating their ﬁsts against the door.  She could 
  feel the thrumming on the other side, just barely.  It was a 
  thick door.
  Fran rubbed her throat as she looked around, her eyes 
  adjusting to the darkness.  Some of the machines had just 
  
  HARDWARE MAN
  come back up from the lightning strike.  In a corner, a large 
  monitor was whirring louder and louder.
  Fran dragged herself over the machine.  If it was going to 
  explode, she didn’t want to be too far away from it.
  The machine’s whirring reached a fever pitch.  It clicked 
  loud enough to make her ﬂinch.
  “Video tape,” Fran muttered, rubbing the back of her head.  
  She found a chair and reclined into it as the screen above the 
  tape recorder ﬂickered to life.
  The icy blue words, “WELCOME TO CRYOGENIX 
  LABS,” ﬂew across the screen. 
  “Welcome to Cryogenix Labs, where your reanimation is 
  our business.”
  The scene shifted to a series of scientists in lab coats 
  preparing a body for… something. 
  “Cryogenix Labs is located in one of the most 
  geographically stable sites in the U.S.—the Arizona desert.”
  A picture-perfect landscape of an Arizona desert appeared. 
  “You might not think of the desert as a great place to stay 
  cool, but Arizona has a very low incidence of earthquakes 
  and severe storms—”
  Thunder crashed somewhere above the Y-Mart. 
  “—all an important part of keeping you safely 
  cryogenically frozen to wake up to Your Future.”
  A scene of a town leveled by an earthquake slid by.
  “But we go one step further.  Cryogenix Labs specializes 
  in making you the special human being you know you 
  are.  Who wants to wake up to their future great-great 
  grandchildren looking like this?”
  The camera zoomed in for a close-up of a frozen man’s 
  face, bald and encased in silver foil.  He looked like some 
  kind of modern-day mummy. 
  “Not us, and not you either!  Why not be reanimated the 
  way YOU want to?  They say you never get a second chance 
  to make a ﬁrst impression, and that’s never been truer in the 
  world of cryogenics.”
  Fran’s attention was diverted to another monitor adjacent 
  to the screen.  It was a black and white security cam. It 
  displayed a lone ﬁgure, shufﬂing its way down the corridor.  
  The camera was mounted on the machine gun that guarded 
  the corridor.  
  “Fat lot of good that thing does,” she spat. She trained her 
  attention back on the screen.
  The screen was now ﬁlled with hundreds of tiny squares, 
  each ﬁlled with a famous star singing and dancing, and one 
  that looked suspiciously like a porn movie.
  “…you can be preserved in whatever fashion you like,” 
  continued the husky feminine voice. “Or if you can’t decide, 
  we can choose one for you.  Choose from a wide variety of 
  celebrity impersonations…”
  Suddenly, there was a lot of banging outside the door, loud 
  enough to drown out the video.  A ﬂashing red screen on the 
  other side of the room caught her attention.  She rolled over 
  to it.
  There was a low, insistent beeping coming from the 
  monitor.  Flashing text on the screen read, “Cryogenics 
  breach!”  Below the blinking warning message, in the 
  bottom right corner of the screen, was a button labeled 
  “More.”
  Fran pushed the button. The screen pulled back and listed 
  more breaches, as many as it could ﬁt on the monitor—she 
  ﬁgured at least 100.  Another “More” ﬂashed insistently at 
  the bottom right corner.
  Fran turned back to the security monitor. It showed three 
  more ﬁgures outside in the hallway.  Then ﬁve.  Then 12.  
  Then they ﬁlled the corridor, a veritable crush of people, all 
  dressed in costume.  
  “Jesus, it’s like Mardi Gras out there!” 
  There was no sound from the monitor, but their mouths 
  moved.  Still, Fran could hear their low moaning, like the 
  sound of someone vacuuming in the adjacent room.  
  Behind Fran, door hinges protested, shrieking their rage at 
  so many people pushing on them at once. 
  “Oh my God, you killed Elvis!”
  That was from Billy, who was stabbing an accusing ﬁnger 
  at Goofus.  Goofus looked down at his controller and then 
  at Buzzkill, which sat ominously nearby with a blade at the 
  ready.
  Goofus dropped the remote.
  “It was an accident!” he squeaked.  “It’s not like I’m just 
  sitting here waiting for Elvis to walk in so I can chop his 
  head off!”
  Jill was leaning over Elvis’ remains, curiously undaunted 
  by the chips of gore that were slowly defrosting on the slick 
  Y-Mart tiles. 
  “Since when does Elvis’ skull shatter?” she asked no one 
  in particular.
  “When a killer robot ﬁres its payload through his face, 
  that’s when!” shouted Billy.
  Jill looked up at him with her big, beautiful eyes, narrowed 
  slightly to express her contempt for his tone.  Billy coughed 
  and tried to calm down.
  “Okay, that is weird. But we’ve got a death on our hands.  
  We need to call the police.”
  “Tried that,” said Terence, waving his cell phone.  “Storm 
  is messing with the reception.  We have to get to a land line.”
  There was dead silence as the rest of the employees looked 
  at each other.  They turned to Billy.
  “What?”
  “You’re a manager,” said Goofus.  “So manage or 
  something.”
  Jill cleared her throat and rose up to her full ﬁve feet.  
  “I’m a manager too, you know.”
  Goofus’ eyes got wide and he pursed his lips, but he 
  refused to say anything else.
  Jill looked around.  “Look.  Elvis came from somewhere.  
  The building’s locked, so someone should ﬁnd out how he 
  got in here.  The other group should get to a phone,”
  Billy nodded. “Let’s split up into two groups. My team, 
  we’re going to make it to the phone line.  Jill, you take the 
  other team and see if you can ﬁnd out where Elvis came 
  from.  And Goofus,” he shot Goofus a glare, “you take care 
  of the body.”
  
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  HARDWARE MAN
  “What?!” Goofus took a step back.  “What the hell do you 
  want me to do with it?  It’s a dead body, man!  I don’t handle 
  dead bodies… I don’t… oh my god.”
  Goofus slowly sank down onto a crate. “OH. MY. GOD.”
  “What?” said Billy in irritation.  
  “I can see the headlines right now,” said Goofus, “’Y-Mart 
  Employee Kills Elvis In Illegal Robot Death Match.’ We are 
  all so ﬁred.”
  Everyone went silent.  Thunder boomed above them as the 
  rain continued its mad pitter-pattering on the roof.
  “Well,” said Billy. “The world still thinks he’s dead, 
  right?”
  Somebody coughed.  Billy and Goofus exchanged 
  knowing glances.
  “Okay, someone get a tarp.”
  Goofus and Robert were halfway towards the dumpster 
  when they noticed Cher.
  She was dressed in her skimpiest outﬁt from one of her 
  tours.  Only she wasn’t quite able to pull it off—not that 
  many people could.  Indeed, the person who was supposed to 
  be Cher looked distinctly un-Cher-like.
  Goofus dropped his jaw as well as his end of the tarp.  
  There was a sickening crunch and bits of red ice spattered 
  out from beneath the tarp.  
  “Rob,” Goofus said, his eyes ﬁxated on Cher, “I think 
  that’s a man.”
  But Robert couldn’t hear him.  He was too busy screaming 
  at the top of his lungs and running away.  Goofus took a step 
  back.
  “Hey, uh… lady,” he said hesitantly.  “I don’t know what 
  you’re doing here, and I don’t want to know what you had to 
  do with Elvis, but uhm…” he looked down at the tarp, “let’s 
  just say Elvis has left the building.”
  Cher moaned, and not in a good way.  Goofus couldn’t 
  help but notice that Cher had a 12-o’clock shadow.  She 
  stumbled towards him with open arms. 
  Goofus turned to run, only to face a crowd of personalities.  
  Everyone was there: astronauts, cavemen, cowboys, pirates, 
  ninjas, and somebody who looked like Abraham Lincoln.
  He angled again, nearly slipping as he turned at a 90-
  degree angle to run back towards the arena. 
  “ZAAAAAAAAAHHHHHMMM—” he screamed.
  “BEEEEEEEEEEES!” was all that anyone heard as 
  Goofus booked past them.  He ran through the entryway to 
  the makeshift arena.
  There was a series of squeaks as Goofus’ shoes struggled 
  to maintain purchase.  He slid back into view of the other 
  employees in the arena.
  “ZOMBIES!  They’re everywhere!”
  Jill stepped forward, “What?”
  “ZOMBIES!  True blue shambling brain-dead zombies!” 
  Goofus slapped his hands to his skull. “They can smell your 
  brains!  Cover your oriﬁces!”
  Billy rolled his eyes.  “Oh, for crying out loud, what did 
  you see?  Another vagrant?  Another Elvis? Maybe it was a 
  fan.”
  “NonononononononononoNO!” Goofus said, glancing 
  back over his shoulder.  “I know zombies.  Their skin is blue.  
  They moan.  They drool.  They want hugs.  They’re zombies 
  for sure,” he paused, “and one of them is Cher.  Or at least, 
  it’s a man who’s dressed like Cher.”
  “We don’t call those people zombies,” said Jill.  “We call 
  them trans-VEST-ites.”
  Goofus took a deep breath.  “Look.  I’m getting the hell 
  out of here.  There’s too many to count.  We can’t take 
  them—”
  Just then, the barely audible moaning reached their ears.  
  It was a low, ululating wave of sound that washed over the 
  patter of the rain high above them.  
  “That’s it, I’m outta here,” said Terence.
  “Dude, me too.  They don’t pay me enough to mess with 
  zombies,” said Robert.
  “WE DON’T EVEN KNOW THEY’RE ZOMBIES!” 
  shouted Billy. The shouting had less effect as the sounds of 
  zombies got louder. He looked to Jill for support.
  Jill bit her lip and said nothing.
  “Look,” Billy said, pufﬁng up his chest.  “I’m not good at 
  a whole lot of things.  I’ve missed a lot of opportunities in 
  my life,” he looked everywhere but at Jill. “Pathetic though 
  it may sound, I think of this place as my second home.  Sure, 
  the pay is bad and the hours suck.  But I’m a manager here, 
  damn it, and I’m going to manage.”
  Billy paced, hands behind his back, looking wistfully up 
  at the ceiling. “I’m not leaving—this is my ship, and I’ll 
  be damned if a bunch of costumed blue-skinned freaks are 
  going to kick me off it!”
  “Are you with me?”
  Finally, Billy turned around.  His fellow employees were 
  nowhere to be found. A bunch of blue-skinned zombies 
  stood at the only way in or out of the arena.  
  “Oh,” said Billy.
  The zombies shufﬂed forward.
  With a whoop of “yeeeeHAW!” a forklift smashed into 
  the zombies in front of the arena.  They fell down like store 
  mannequins, limbs skittering off in different directions. 
  Goofus grinned from his perch on the forklift.  Somehow, he 
  had acquired a cowboy hat.  
  “Hop on, we’ve got some zombies to corral!”
  “We’ve got enough forklifts to block the entrance,” said 
  Jill, looking surprisingly authoritative from her seat on the Y-
  Mart crane.  “The side and front exits are blocked.  But they 
  still seem to be coming after us.”
  Billy was standing next to her watching the ﬁgures mill 
  about at the corridors, where wooden skids had been placed 
  to block the zombies.  “How long do you think those barriers 
  will hold?”
  “Not long,” Jill said, heaving a sigh.  Billy’s attention 
  wandered. “They’re starting to climb over each other, and we 
  can only pile the barriers so high.”
  Billy looked down at his feet.  “Hey Jill.  Can I ask you 
  something?”
  
  HARDWARE MAN
  She looked back at him, her face a study in carefully 
  controlled interest.  “Yes?’
  “When you wrote ‘Sometimes a strong wind must blow to 
  remove the fog for us to see clearly,’ was that for me?”
  Jill blinked.  “What?”
  “In the yearbook.  I used to work in the special effects 
  department.  Was that a reference to me?  I had a crush on 
  you in high school and I thought you knew.”
  “Oh,” she said quietly.  There was a pause that lasted an 
  eternity. “Yes,” she said.
  Billy turned to face her, causing the crane to rock slightly.  
  “Are you saying that because you think I might die and you 
  want to give me some hope in the last minutes of my short, 
  pathetic life?”
  Jill blushed furiously.  “Yeah.”
  Billy sighed.  
  “I wrote that because everyone was writing poems in my 
  drama class, so I wanted to leave something deep—actually, 
  my boyfriend wrote it and I used it,” she said.  “But I never 
  really knew you.  Now that I do—”
  There was a high-pitched squeal over the Y-Mart intercom. 
  “Alright maggots, listen up,” rasped Fran’s voice. “I’m 
  trapped in some sort of control room, but I can see the 
  monitors and I’m piped into the audio comms. Oh wait, hold 
  on a sec, I need to beat off some zombies…”
  The audio squealed again and then the pleasant tune of 
  “Girl from Ipanema” ﬁlled the air.
  “What the hell is she doing here?” blurted Billy.
  Jill was looking at him curiously.  “You ever think of 
  joining a gym?”
  Before Billy could respond, a squeal heralded Fran’s 
  return to her command of the microphone.  
  “Sorry about that.  Okay, the zombies are coming from 
  a cryogenics chamber, but it’s guarded by some kind of 
  defense system.  It nearly blew me to pieces.  Hell, it’s so 
  accurate it POWDERED a mouse right in front of me.  But it 
  doesn’t seem to notice the zombies.  We need to get beyond 
  that corridor and shut it down before more zombies wake 
  up.”
  “Wake up?” Billy said in shock.
  “Yes, I said ‘wake up,’ Mick,” crackled Fran’s voice. “I 
  can’t hear you, but I can see you well enough, especially 
  since you’re ﬁve feet from one of the security cameras.”
  Billy glanced around and sure enough, the black lens of a 
  security camera ogled him.  
  “You and your girlfriend need to come up with a plan to 
  get me the hell out of here.  I don’t know how long I can 
  hold these bastards off—” then the audio went dead.
  Jill looked at Billy.  “Now what?”
  Billy jutted out his chin, the word “girlfriend” echoing 
  over and over in his mind.  “I have a plan.”
  “I call it… the Goofusmobile!”
  And with that, Goofus disappeared around a corner.  What 
  had once been a forklift came into view.  It was covered with 
  what looked like two garage doors that were welded together 
  at the top.  Two mesh cages covered the front and back.
  Billy and Jill looked at each other in dismay.  “That’s 
  what’s going to get us in there?”
  Goofus wheeled the Goofusmobile painfully around, the 
  doors screeching along the ﬂoor as it moved, so he could 
  face the two managers.  “Not us.  Me and Billy.  It can only,” 
  he struggled for words as he avoided looking at Billy, “FIT 
  two of us.  And I’m the only one who knows how to drive 
  the Goofusmobile.”
  Terence rolled his eyes.  “Just because he’s got the forklift 
  driver’s certiﬁcation he thinks he’s the bomb.”
  Goofus jabbed a ﬁnger through the cage at Terence, a 
  gesture that was supposed to be menacing but ended up 
  looking a lot like a pink mole rat poking its head out of a 
  hole. “Do you wanna drive in there with all the moaning and 
  the grabbing?”
  Robert put his hands up.  “Hell no.  You go in there and 
  play zombie janitor for all I care.” He hefted a nailgun.  “I 
  got perimeter.”
  Billy nodded.  “Right.  Jeremy, Robert, you two are going 
  to hold the perimeter—if they come over the walls, you take 
  out as many as you can. Terence, Jill, you’re lookout in the 
  two cranes.  If things go down the crapper, get the hell out of 
  here and call for help. Everyone clear?”
  They all nodded.  Jill leaned over to him and gave him a 
  kiss on the cheek.  “Be careful,” she whispered just to him.
  Billy stood, transﬁxed. Goofus coughed.
  Remembering where he was and what he was about to do, 
  Billy picked up Spatulator 3000.
  “Whaddaya gonna do with that?” Goofus asked as Billy 
  stepped into the Goofusmobile.
  “I got a hunch,” was all Billy said.
  “Alright,” said Goofus as he stepped on the gas.  “Things 
  are about to get messy.  I’m going to push this puppy up to 
  top speed and then ram those zombie suckers for all they’re 
  worth!”
  Billy looked over his shoulder as the Goofusmobile 
  chugged along.  “How fast is that?”
  “Hmm.  Well 10 miles per hour, but since we’re carrying 
  some… uh, weight it’s going to be more like,” he looked 
  down at the dash, “seven miles per hour.”
  “Great,” Billy said as they approached the perimeter.  The 
  zombies were massed behind it in great human piles.
  “Pull the wall!” shouted Billy.
  “Pulling the wall!” Jill shouted back.
  The ropes attached to the wooden skids that constituted 
  the makeshift wall were abruptly yanked aside.  Goofus sped 
  the Goofusmobile as fast as it would go towards the crowd 
  of zombies.
  “Jeremy! Robert!  Take ‘em down!”
  There was a cry of “YEEHAW!” as the two nightshift 
  employees who couldn’t be bothered to show up to work on 
  time leapt out from the sides of the aisle, ﬁring metal death 
  into the icy cold corpses of the unliving. 
  An astronaut went down.  Then a few gymnasts.  Then 
  something that may have been a clown.
  
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  HARDWARE MAN
  The hail of nailgun ﬁre rang out behind Goofus and Billy.  
  SPTANG!  Something ricocheted close to Billy’s head, even 
  within the protected conﬁnes of the Goofusmobile.
  The zombie masses were slightly thinned out.  It was a 
  gamble—if the two nailgunmen were unable to take out 
  enough zombies, the makeshift forklift/fortress would never 
  be able to smash its way through. 
  Goofus lifted the front end of the forklift up so the two 
  tines of the forklift were at chest level as it tore through the 
  zombie ranks.  Shattered limbs bounced off the sides of the 
  Goofusmobile.
  Jill shouted, “They’re through!  Restore the perimeter!”
  Behind them, Billy knew that the walls were being pushed 
  back up again with a second forklift.  There was no going 
  back.
  The zombie ranks thinned as the Goofusmobile barreled 
  along.  Even as it passed, zombies grabbed on to it, dragging 
  along behind.  The forklift’s engine groaned.
  “Hold on… I see it!” shouted Goofus.
  They were chugging towards a broken wall.  Billy didn’t 
  get a chance to make it out, because Goofus drove their 
  armored transportation right through it.  
  Plaster ﬂaked all around them as the Goofusmobile ground 
  to a halt.  With its extra armor, it was incapable of navigating 
  the corridor.  The debris on the ﬂoor didn’t help.
  “GOGOGOGOGO!” shouted Goofus.
  Billy started to edge his way out of the vehicle when a 
  strange mechanical tweeting echoed at the other end of the 
  darkened hallway.  A trail of withering gunﬁre streaked 
  towards the front of the forklift.
  “BACKBACKBACKBACKBACK!” shouted Goofus.
  “Whoa!” Billy shouted.  “What the hell is that?”
  “Defense system my ass!” Goofus shouted.  “Jesus, how 
  about ‘there’s a big honking machine gun in the hallway’!”
  The forklift rocked.  The zombies were grabbing at it and 
  tugging on the grill. 
  “Dude, we better think of something fast—the zombies 
  aren’t going to wait.”
  Billy shook his head to clear the cobwebs.  “What was it 
  Fran said before about the defenses?”
  “Something about a mouse?” Goofus said, panic rising in 
  his voice.  
  Billy snapped his ﬁngers.  “That’s right!  The defenses 
  killed the mouse but not the zombies.  What’s the difference 
  between the two?”
  Goofus looked at Billy in disbelief.  “Zombies are… 
  bigger?”
  “No, that can’t be it.  This defense system is meant to keep 
  people OUT.  I think it’s a heat seeker.”
  A zombie moaned loudly behind them.
  Billy placed the Spatulator 3000 on the ground.  “This is 
  your chance, little buddy,” he whispered, half to himself.  He 
  noticed a blackened mark that must have been the mouse.  
  “If not—well, it’ll be over quick.”
  He ﬂipped the switch on his remote control and eased the 
  Spatulator out into the open.  
  Nothing happened.
  “I don’t mean to pressure you or anything,” whispered 
  Goofus, “but could you GO A LITTLE FASTER PLEASE!”
  Billy winced but kept his eyes on the Spatulator.  Its RC-
  engine kicked into high gear, zig-zagging crazily as Billy 
  navigated through zombie arms and legs.  Fran had taken 
  out more than a few zombies herself before she reached the 
  control room.
  “What are you going to do with that thing, exactly?” 
  said Goofus, crawling closer to the front of the forklift as 
  the whole thing began to rock from the force of zombie 
  frustration.
  “Well, that thing’s got to have a heat sensor.  It’s a variant 
  of the electronic security cameras we have in the Y-Mart.”
  The Spatulator zipped up within feet of the gun 
  emplacement, then rolled backwards into position.  “So if I 
  can just—”
  The Spatulator’s spatula-throwing armed reared 
  backwards.  FWANG! A sharpened spatula blade whistled 
  through the air and stuck into the machinegun’s bubble.
  The forklift started to trundle forward, propelled by the 
  force of zombies behind it. 
  “Billy…” Goofus said, his voice raising an octave.
  Billy hit the red ﬁring button as fast as he could.  One after 
  another, cartwheeling spatulas of death tumbled through the 
  air into the machinegun’s perch.  They all landed just below 
  the gun itself.
  “You totally missed!” Goofus shrieked.
  Billy cracked the hatch of the Goofusmobile.  
  “What are you doing?  Are you insane?” shouted Goofus.
  Billy gave Goofus a bear hug.  Then he turned and stepped 
  out into the hallway with his eyes closed.
  Nothing happened.
  “YES!” Billy shouted. “C’mon Goofus!”
  Goofus stumbled out of the front of the forklift even as 
  the whole wall started to collapse, zombies and plasterboard 
  falling everywhere.
  “How…?” was all Goofus got out as he jogged towards 
  the side corridor.
  “Easy,” Billy said triumphantly.  “I just blocked the heat 
  sensors. They’re just below the gun.” He turned around to 
  face Goofus.  “I made a calculated guess,” he said with a 
  smug look on his face, “but it turns out I was right—”
  Then a ﬁst connected with Billy’s jaw and everything went 
  dark.
  A large, ugly thing with hair in all the wrong places fuzzed 
  into sight. At ﬁrst Billy thought it was someone’s face.  Then 
  he recognized it as Fran’s mole.  One of them, anyway.
  “—the hell was I supposed to think, been zombies 
  stumbling in and out of here all night!” she was shouting at 
  Goofus. 
  Billy struggled to his feet.  
  “Oh, look, sleeping beauty ﬁnally woke up,” Fran said 
  with a sneer.
  Billy got a good look at his surroundings.  They were in 
  a large, cavernous room ﬁlled with what seemed like an 
  endless row of large, pill-shaped chambers, each connected 
  
  HARDWARE MAN
  by a cobweb of ribbed cords and twinkling devices.  All of 
  the chambers were numbered, from 1 to over 300.  Many 
  of them yawned open like clamshells, their contents voided 
  into the chilly air. In others, vaguely humanoid ﬁgures were 
  visible beneath the frosted panes.
  A door behind them, made of thin steel, buckled from the 
  pressure of hundreds of ﬁsts.
  “Uh, I don’t think that door’s going to hold for very long,” 
  said Goofus.
  Billy rubbed the back of his head. “What is this place?
  “Cryogenics,” said Fran.  “Would ya believe the lightning 
  strike reset the system?  The clock reset to the year 3000, 
  when they’re all due to wake up,” she said with a sneer. 
  “Y3K,” said Goofus in awe.
  “I ﬁgured out how to stop the system breaches,” said Fran, 
  “but that’s not going to tuck the other trick-or-treaters back 
  in bed.”  
  Billy walked over to a table along one wall.  It was 
  covered with diagrams and notes.  
  WHAM!  The door creaked on its hinges. 
  “You’d think they’d build a place like this a little better,” 
  said Fran. “These things are meant to withstand a nuclear 
  attack, but the door can’t stave off a couple of mooks.”
  Billy picked up a piece of paper.  At the bottom was the 
  name “J. Wizzley #351”
  “Dad?” Billy whispered to himself.
  “The machinegun’s a pretty good deterrent, I think,” 
  Goofus was saying. “Can you get to the intercom?  Maybe 
  we can tell Jill to call for help.”
  Fran shook her head.  “Not from this room.”
  “What?  You were on the intercom before!”
  “Hey!” shouted Fran. “The Y-Mart builders took shortcuts 
  and just piggy-backed off of the systems that were already 
  here. I think we can assume, tiger lily, that they didn’t realize 
  this was a cryogenics facility!” 
  Billy looked up.  “That’s it!”
  All three of them looked up.  Billy pointed at the sprinkler 
  system. 
  “If the builders were lazy enough to use the electrical 
  system, maybe they were stupid enough to tap into the 
  sprinkler system too.”
  Goofus glanced at Billy sideways.  “So we’re going to… 
  drown them?”
  “No,” Fran said, her jaw set.  “I see where he’s going with 
  this.” She pointed at the mess of tubing that connected the 
  chambers. 
  “He means to freeze ‘em.”
  Terence stumbled around the corner of aisle ﬁve.  He 
  practically tripped over Jill.
  “It’s time to go!” he shouted, and resumed running.
  Jeremy slide into view seconds afterwards. “Zombies,” he 
  said, panting.  “Broke through.  Wall.  Leaving!”
  Then he took off, running for the front door.
  Jill backed away slowly from the aisle, passing the 
  registers.  “I’m so sorry, Billy,” she whispered, tears in her 
  eyes.
  Just then, the sprinklers turned on.  Shocked from the 
  freezing cold and the sudden downpour, Jill didn’t react at 
  ﬁrst.
  Something was wrong.  The water was too cold and it had 
  a chemical, slimy feel to it.  Jill ran for the door.
  Jill joined the rest of the staff outside, freezing in the cold 
  Arizona nights.  In the distance, the sound of sirens echoed 
  across town.  
  They stood, shivering, waiting for the zombies to reach the 
  front of the Y-Mart.  
  A roughly humanoid form limped towards the glass doors.  
  It was ugly.  It was horrifying.  It was…
  “Fran?” Jill shouted in shock.  Fran grinned as she ka-
  klumped along with the assistance of Goofus.
  “Where’s…”
  Billy slowly walked out, a sledgehammer in his hands.  
  “This Y-Mart,” he said as the lights of the police cars and 
  ﬁre engines began to dance across the sheen of the Y-Mart’s 
  glass, “is closed!”
  “Oh Billy!” Jill said, throwing her arms around him.  “I 
  thought you were dead!”
  Fran looked over, one eyebrow arched.  “Who’s Billy?”
  Cootes leaned forward on his ponderous mahogany 
  desk.  Two competing interests possessed him: the desire to 
  strangle Billy and Goofus, and the need to not further irritate 
  his lawyer, who sat passively but alertly to his left.  
  The lawyer, in turn, was further restrained by Goofus and 
  Billy’s lawyer, who sat, equally passive, on their right.
  “Now,” Cootes said, swallowing a few times, “let me get 
  this straight. You were running an illegal robot-ﬁghting ring 
  on company time?”
  “Y-Mart can ﬁre you for breaking company policy,” said 
  Cootes’ lawyer.  “You were hired At Will, you know.”
  “Except,” Billy’s lawyer broke in, “for the fact that you 
  were conducting work in an unsafe environment.”
  “That’s not our fault!” barked Cootes.  “I didn’t know the 
  construction company piggy-backed off the pre-existing 
  power lines!”
  “Oh no?” said Billy’s lawyer.  “We have you on tape 
  indicating that you most deﬁnitely did know.”
  “We’re suing the construction company,” said Cootes’ 
  lawyer.
  “We’re suing you for irresponsible hiring practices!” said 
  Billy’s lawyer.
  “Well, YOU’RE being sued in a class action suit by the 
  families of the cryogenically interred corpses,” responded 
  Cootes’ lawyer.
  “You mean zombies,” said Goofus.
  “Shh!” hissed Billy’s lawyer, who was technically also 
  Goofus’ lawyer, but everyone ignored Goofus anyway.
  “No,” said Cootes, “you beat to death—shattered, 
  actually—a bunch of mentally deﬁcient people who were in 
  shock.  You’re lucky you’re not up on murder charges.”
  “Look,” said Billy’s lawyer, leaning forward with all 
  the menace his suited form could muster, “Y-Mart is a 
  sweatshop, and when this hits the fan, you’re going to lose 
  
  66 of 67
  HARDWARE MAN
  the franchise.  You’re better off settling.”
  “Settle?” said Cootes’ lawyer.  “How about we sue you for 
  inappropriate use of a sprinkler system, over ten thousand 
  dollars in damaged equipment, endangering the life of 
  several employees—”
  “—unlicensed generator,” Billy’s lawyer shouted, 
  “dangerous chemical storage, complete lack of any site 
  inspection—”
  The shouting escalated until neither side could hear the 
  other anymore.
  “Killer Robotz will sue you for copyright infringement!”
  “The National Association of Vegas Impersonators will 
  sue you for casting their organization in an unfavorable 
  light!”
  “The Presley family will sue you for defamation!”
  “The families of the zombies will—now you got me 
  saying it!”
  That last was from Cootes.  He took out a blue and white 
  handkerchief from his back pocket and wiped his face.
  “Okay, how about the lawyers leave the room and we talk 
  mano-a-mano.” He stood up.  
  “I advise against this,” both lawyers said in unison.
  Billy and Cootes waved them off.  Thwarted, the two 
  lawyers huffed out of Cootes’ ofﬁce.
  “Look,” said Cootes after he was sure the lawyers were 
  out of earshot. “We could sue each other for years and not 
  see a single cent.  So how about this: I pay both lawyers off 
  and I give you royalties on a book deal and a speaking tour 
  on my new venture.”
  Billy looked at Goofus.
  Cootes’ face was straining to look optimistic.  It didn’t 
  suit him.  “I’m going to demolish this place and build a 
  museum dedicated to…” he leaned forward and whispered 
  conspiratorially, “…zombies. Deal?”
  Billy and Goofus looked at each other.  
  “We want a yearly grant for our entries in the Killer 
  Robotz contests in Las Vegas,” said Goofus.
  Cootes frowned.  “Fine.”
  “And unlimited membership at the local gym.”  Billy said, 
  looking straight ahead.
  Cootes blinked.  “Fine.  Deal?”
  Billy shook his head.  “One last thing…”
  A nondescript white van pulled up to the Y-Mart even as a 
  huge wrecking ball jockeyed into position. Two men stepped 
  out in environmental containment suits and walked into the 
  barbed-wire-enclosed construction zone.  
  The foreman on site stopped them from proceeding 
  further. After a brief conversation, he jogged over to Cootes, 
  who was looking over the demolition of the old Y-Mart 
  building, clipboard in hand.
  “Mr. Cootes,” said the foremen, “we’ve got two men 
  who claim to be with the NCRPC.  They’re here to pick up 
  something?  They wouldn’t say what it was.”
  Cootes nodded.  “Let ‘em through, boys—they’re here to 
  pick up a very special package.”
  Twenty minutes later, they rolled out a white, pill-shaped 
  chamber. On its side, printed in blue letters, were the 
  numbers “351.”
  The men loaded it into the van and drove off into the 
  setting Arizona sun.
  THE END
  
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