TEXT:  
  
   
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  If Wishes Were Fishes 
  Or  
  a Mage, a Monkey, and a Magic Carpet Ride 
   
  GagMen Episode 31 
  January 2015 
  A Basic Fantasy Adventure 
  Written by the GagMen on the GagMen RPG Podcast 
  Illustrations by Gaghouse Productions 
  Contact:  shutup@gagmen.net 
  Product Identity:  The following items are hereby identified as Product Identity, as defined by the Open Gaming License version 1.0a Section 8, and are not Open Content:  All 
  trademarks, registered trademarks, proper names, dialogue, plots, storylines, locations, adventurers, artwork, and the trade dress.  Elements that have previously been designated as Open Content or 
  Public Domain are not included in this declaration. 
  Open Content:  Except for the material designated as Product Identity above, the game mechanics of the Basic Fantasy Role-Playing Game is Open Game Content, as defined in the 
  Open Game License version 1.0a Section 1(d).  No portion of this work other than the material designated as Open Game Content may be reproduced in any form without written permission. 
  Because the Open Gaming License is available to view online, we didn’t feel the need to include the entire document in our little adventure.  To view the current copy of the Open 
  Gaming License:  http://www.wizards.com/d20/files/OGLv1.0a.rtf 
  This adventure idea is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.  As with most GagMen adventure ideas, we don’t need the money but we do like 
  the credit.  To view a copy of this license, visit http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/  
  . 
  Table of Contents 
  Introduction ....................................................... 2 
  Adventure Summary .......................................... 2 
  Setting/Theme ................................................... 3 
  Tengoku.......................................................... 3 
   The Village of Hokai ...................................... 3 
  Plot ..................................................................... 4 
  A fish walks into a bar… ................................. 4 
  Oh, the Fish-manity! ...................................... 4 
  The Caves of the Koi ....................................... 5 
  Plop, plop, fizz, fizz….. .................................... 6 
  Whole lotta shakin’ goin’ on .......................... 6 
  Who is Mondegreen (black?) ......................... 6 
  Hard Times in Hawkwood .............................. 6 
  Ape Pagoda .................................................... 7 
  A Wizards (house) work is never done .......... 7 
  Conflict ............................................................... 7 
  The library of Mondeblack ............................. 8 
  If the Library is Rockin’… ................................ 9 
  The Crazy Carpet Chase ................................. 9 
  Threats upon Threats..................................... 9 
  “Look Ma, No Legs!” .................................... 10 
  Wish upon a Fish .......................................... 10 
  Super Happy Fun Ending .............................. 10 
  Characters ........................................................ 11 
  Details .............................................................. 14 
  Bestiary ........................................................ 14 
  Tanuki .......................................................... 15 
  History of the WorldFish .............................. 16 
  Goon Rules ................................................... 16 
   
   
   
  G1501 
  
   
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  Introduction 
  This adventure was created with the Basic Fantasy Rules (by Chris Gonnerman) but could be used for 
  most retro-clone versions of Dungeons & Dragons, or any version of Dungeons & Dragons with which you may 
  be more familiar.  The adventure is designed for beginning level characters, preferably between levels 1 - 3, and 
  was written with lots of silly little things meant to keep your gaming experience fun. 
  Brattleburg is the central city of the GagMen’s in house fantasy world, and serves as a starting place for 
  most of our fantasy adventures.  While definitely tailored to our needs, Brattleburg is adaptable with most fantasy 
  settings.  The main philosophy behind the World of Brattleburg is that not all members of the “monster” species 
  are thoughtless killers to be used by the game master; rather, every race has a diversity of personalities and 
  culture that makes them worthwhile.  Parties exploring Brattleburg and the surrounding region may find 
  themselves helping ogres, traveling with goblins, or rationalizing with a Minotaur.  The GagMen love to add 
  comedic twists and plenty of fun to every adventure, we encourage you to be a creative and enthusiastic GM; 
  create new content, throw in your own twist or flair, and polish up any parts of the game where you think we 
  took a wrong step.  As the GM, YOU are a co-writer, so make it your own! 
   
  Far East of Brattleburg lays a land where elements of China, Japan, India, and even dashes of Arabic 
  flavors combine to form the island continent of Tengoku.   
   
  As always, we ask that you do not feed, mock, laugh at, encourage, lead on, seduce, hypnotize, starve, 
  compliment, strike, or massage the GagMen, as 80% of the known GagMen population are married, and their 
  spouses get jealous when others horn in on their territory.  The GagMen are aware that koi cannot walk and talk, 
  though we are fairly confident in the existence of Dire Koi, as there can be no other explanation for the beast 
  living at the local Chinese place.  Please remember, Tanuki are definitely fiction, and just because the raccoons on 
  your property occasionally outsmart you, that doesn’t necessarily mean they know Karate. 
   
  Adventure Summary 
  Back in the mystical land of Tengoku, the party finds themselves called on a quest by a not so coy Koi 
  named Coy. With the island in danger, a walking and talking fish running the risk of gill cancer thanks to his new 
  cigar habit, and a missing enchanted gem, the land Far East of Brattleburg may soon find itself going south!  Can 
  the heroes restore the balance, solve the mystery of the world fish, and eat their takeout noodles before they go 
  cold?  Find the answer in “If Wishes were Fishes!”
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
  
   
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  Setting/Theme 
  Tengoku 
  A small island 
  continent, Tengoku can be 
  difficult to reach due to the 
  treacherous waters that 
  surround it. Even the most 
  experienced sailors have a difficult time navigating 
  their way to the island, and even then only with 
  the sturdiest of ships.  In fact, the Makudo-Maru 
  is the only ship able to make the trip safely; as 
  such all trade, travel, and commerce relies on the 
  huge vessel.  While the waters around Tengoku 
  are home to sea monsters, most have learned not 
  to interfere with the voyage of the Makudo-Maru; 
  the ship’s defenses and armaments make it more 
  than a match for any serpent.  
  Tengoku is known for its many herbs and 
  spices used for anything from medicinal purposes 
  to getting your chicken just right.  There’s even 
  an old legend that tells of a time when an 
  overreaching Colonel came for Tengoku’s chicken 
  recipes, but was repelled by a great Tengoku 
  General.   
  The island has a variety of environments, 
  such as the Tien-Zo Mountains and their 
  snowcapped peaks, which serve as home to the 
  great Hwang-Tang-Ba monastery.  The land is cut 
  by the Sweetwater Rivers, of which the people say 
  that the water is so sweet and pure that one 
  drink will quench any thirst.   The rivers feed the 
  lush forests and fertile farmlands, which provide 
  some of the most delicious vegetation ever grown. 
  Recently the island continent has been 
  plagued by a series of tremors, bringing fear to 
  the people of Tengoku.  While there are old 
  volcanos on the island, none are smoking or show 
  any activity.   
   The Village of Hokai 
  Hokai is a peaceful seaside town, and the 
  people are friendly and welcoming.  As a fishing 
  town, the port is open to small fishing boats and 
  the occasional transport.  Hokai is home to less 
  than a hundred people and 20 or so buildings, 
  among them the three story pagoda that houses 
  the well-established Izakaya, a quant sake 
  shop.  On the main street there are many street 
  
   
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  vendors selling beautiful and delicate dining plates 
  and vases.  Thanks to the fishermen, the distinct 
  smell of aging fish permeates the village; though 
  most of the natives don’t notice (the PC’s may not 
  be so lucky).   
   
  Plot 
  A fish walks into a bar… 
  The adventuring party is enjoying a 
  round at the Izakaya, a local sushi and sake bar, 
  when a three-foot-tall fish flounders in.  The fish 
  is wearing a few vestments of clothing and seems 
  a little out of breathe.  He slaps his hand on the 
  counter and orders a shot of sake and lights up a 
  cigar that he pulls from his pocket.   After he 
  downs a few good slugs of sake, he takes a good 
  long look around and sizes up the main 
  characters before heading over to their table. 
  Eventually, the fish will walk over and tell 
  the players his tale: 
  “So you bums may have noticed I ain’t 
  exactly what you would call one of the regulars,” 
  he says sarcastically.  “The name is Coy,” he flicks 
  a few ashes from his cigar, “and I doubt my story 
  would interest you, but maybe this will.”  Coy 
  tosses a brilliant shining coin onto the table; as 
  the gold coin settles, the heroes can see it is 
  engraved with ancient writing.  The finish of the 
  coin is the most remarkable, as it appears as if it 
  were cast only yesterday.  
  Once the party has found their 
  motivation to listen to his story, he will carry on 
  about how a crazy lady (Nobuki) has been 
  tampering with glowing gem inside the cave that 
  is his home.  From Coy’s descriptions it sounds 
  like a cavern not far from the town.  This unusual 
  woman’s dealings with the cavern has upset the 
  balance (possibly the cause of the tremors felt 
  lately) of nature.  Coy seems to imply that, for 
  reasons beyond his understanding, he was 
  transformed and slipped out of the cavern to find 
  help The Flip Flop 
  During the conversation an earthquake 
  occurs, and the party will witness Coy changing 
  form into a full human, then immediately into a 
  koi.  They will have to rush him over to a pitcher 
  of water or the rain barrel outside.  This will 
  make it difficult to understand Coy, and the 
  situation will force the group to carry around 
  water for the fish to stay alive in.  He is still able 
  to point in general 
  directions and 
  though he is 
  unable to speak, 
  he still 
  understands the 
  group and will 
  respond.   
  Oh, the Fish-manity! 
  A group of scruffy patrons overheard 
  some of the conversation, and their eyes lit up 
  when they saw the coin.  The leader of their 
  group, Toru will dump a barrel of dead fish on 
  the table with hopes of grabbing Coy in all the 
  confusion.  Toru has six of his men in the bar 
  that will help throw fish around to increase the 
  confusion.  Expect that this ‘fish confusion’ will 
  break down into an actual fight.  Try to stay with 
  
   
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  throwing fish at one another, keeping everything 
  non-lethal and a little fun. (See Details)  
   
  The Caves of the Koi 
  With Toru and his thugs out of the way, 
  the party will take Coy and use him to guide the 
  party back to the Caves of the Koi.  The trip will 
  take a day hiking along the coastline, and the 
  caves will be found in a series of inlets along the 
  cliff face and the beach.  Feel free to have the 
  party feel a few tremors along the way and shift 
  Coy into a form that may be more helpful to the 
  group depending on the random encounters along 
  the way.   
  Upon reaching the caves the party will 
  encounter some of Nobuki’s henchmen outside, as 
  well as a few walking back and forth through the 
  cave itself.  If the adventuring party has been to 
  Tengoku in the past adventure (see The Tao of 
  Ato), they may recognize the army symbol that 
  most of the guards are wearing is that of 
  Tekazi.  Nobuki is in the cave trying to siphon 
  power off the gem and transforms two normal koi 
  into monster koi to defend her when the party 
  appears.  Coy will try to rationalize with the 
  
   
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  monsters, but they have been transformed into 
  creatures of pure rage thrashing about, knocking 
  Coy into the pool and knocking the gem loose. 
   
  Plop, plop, fizz, fizz….. 
  In the confusion of the fight Nobuki will 
  finish siphoning off her gem and sneak away 
  before the party can notice.   When the gem falls 
  into the pond, it dissolves causing the pond to 
  glow a bright green.  When Coy emerges from the 
  pond the glow follows, leaving Coy glowing a 
  brilliant green for a few seconds before dimming 
  to normal.  It should be apparent to the party 
  that Coy has somehow absorbed the power of the 
  gem. 
   
  Whole lotta shakin’ goin’ on 
  After fifteen 
  minutes have 
  passed a serious 
  earthquake will 
  strike Tengoku, 
  shaking rocks 
  loose and sending a rush of water running into 
  the cave.  Any character in the caves will have to 
  make a dexterity check or be knocked off their 
  feet and washed out to the ocean.  Each time a 
  quake strikes, the party should experience a 
  similar situation, trying to avoid opening chasms 
  or falling objects.  Coy will know that with the 
  jewel of harmony removed the island is certain to 
  sink and somehow the gem has fused with his 
  body.  Only a wizard as powerful as Mondegreen 
  could separate the gem from the ever changing 
  fish-man. However Mondegreen lives far away 
  near Brattleburg; the only wizard close enough 
  and of similar ability is his clone, 
  Mondeblack. 
   
  Who is Mondegreen 
  (black?) 
  A powerful 
  wizard like Mondegreen 
  would have the power to 
  restore the gem and the 
  koi, but Mondegreen 
  doesn’t live on 
  Tengoku.  Mondegreen is one of the more 
  powerful and sought after wizards of the world, 
  so much so that he cloned himself so he could be 
  more accessible.  As per Mondegreen’s spells, 
  none of his clones came out perfect; each comes 
  with varying tastes and styles, but they all have 
  the same take on the mystical arts.  Mondeblack 
  has become the magical beacon of Tengoku, 
  sporting darker colored robes, trimmed with gold 
  stitching.   Following many of the meditation 
  techniques of the monasteries on Tengoku has 
  helped to calm the wizard, far more than his 
  original creator. 
   
  Hard Times in Hawkwood 
  Mondeblack has a wizard’s pagoda twenty 
  miles (32 kilometers) due north from Hokai 
  through the Hawkwood Forest.  One of the first 
  thoughts any character would have is, “Why is it 
  called Hawkwood?”  If any player should say it 
  
   
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  aloud, throw out a dire hawk attack, just to make 
  sure they get the full effect. 
  The Hawkwood Forest is a mix of 
  bamboo clumps, maple, birch, and peach trees 
  that make for good cover 
  against the dire hawks and 
  owls that fly overhead.  A small 
  group of Tanuki live in the forest 
  and gather fruits and nuts to trade 
  with Hokai.  Before leaving Hokai  with 
  one of the trading tanuki and offering to 
  protect their wagons in exchange for guidance 
  through Hawkwood.   
  It will take a hard day’s ride on horseback 
  to reach the craggy rock face, north of 
  Hawkwood, where Mondeblack’s pagoda 
  stands.  If the party decides to 
  travel with the tanuki, or stops to 
  help someone along the way, it 
  could take two full days of travel 
  to travel through Hawkwood.   
  Ape Pagoda 
  The pagoda stands eight 
  stories high and sticks out 
  through the forest canopy.  There 
  are wooden shutters and doors all 
  around the tiered levels.  The 
  wood is coated in heavy black 
  lacquer with decorative gold 
  painted trim along the 
  edges.  Outside of the front door 
  is an oversized gorilla, sitting on 
  a stool, that is folding paper into 
  intricate origami statues adorning 
  a small table.  The gorillas name 
  is Shichi and he is the protector and assistant to 
  Mondeblack.  
      Shichi is a very intelligent gorilla, but a gorilla 
  just the same; while the party may try to talk to 
  him, he is unable to do more 
  than hand gestures.  If the 
  group makes any suspicious moves 
  or tries to attack Shichi, he will ring an 
  alarm bell by the door.  If the party tries to 
  talk or negotiate with Shichi, he 
  will take the group around back 
  where Mondeblack is working on laundry. 
   
  A Wizards (house) work is never done 
  The group will find Mondeblack behind 
  his pagoda walking around in a 
  loincloth yelling at his cloths on 
  the drying line.  He recently had 
  a spell backfire and was trying 
  to wash out the smell of burnt 
  parrot.  If Shichi brings the 
  party around, Mondeblack will 
  make several accusatory 
  statements directed to his ape 
  assistant, but Shichi will ignore 
  it and wave the crazy wizard 
  off.  If asked why a wizard is 
  doing laundry, he will respond 
  that magic isn’t always an 
  instant cure and it shouldn’t be 
  used to solve every problem 
  even if it does. 
  Conflict 
  
   
  ~ 8 ~ 
   
   
  The library of Mondeblack 
  Mondeblack will put on his wet robes 
  and invite the party 
  in.  Inside the pagoda the 
  walls are lined with 
  bookshelves with a stairwell on the 
  far wall, and a table with several 
  chairs in the 
  center.  Mondeblack will ask 
  Shichi to get them some tea, which 
  he will grumpily put together for the 
  group.  After describing the problem and 
  introducing Coy, Mondeblack will look confused 
  about why Nobuki took the gem at all.  The gem 
  was only used at the annual celebration years 
  ago, it was a gem charged with 
  pyrotechnic spells, nothing more.  The 
  key to the balance of 
  the island and the 
  true magic of the pool 
  came from Coy, the 
  Worldfish that has been 
  in the cave to thousands 
  of years.  The 
  earthquakes aren’t 
  being caused by some 
  mysterious gem; it is 
  that Coy left to begin 
  with. 
  Coy will act surprised, 
  reassuring the group that he is not 
  this magical “Worldfish”, and definitely 
  doesn't possess the power over the lands or 
  even his own body.   Mondeblack will pull a 
  book from the wall, entitled “History of 
  Tengoku”, and opens it to a picture of a giant 
  Koi, so large the entire island is on its 
  back.  “Don’t worry, it isn’t literal, 
  but it is still quite accurate,” 
  Mondeblack declares.   
  “That isn’t me!” Coy 
  insists as he stabs his 
  finger/flipper at the picture in the book.  Coy 
  should react in a state of denial, giving the 
  players a chance to role-play on a personal level 
  with the DM as Coy.  Coy will have a difficult 
  time accepting that he is the worldfish, but 
  don’t feel the need to dwell on it 
  because the adventure will need to get 
  moving along soon.  It is important to note 
  Coy’s hesitation and uncertainty to get the 
  party to wonder if he is the worldfish too. 
  The worldfish keeps 
  and maintains the balance; 
  Coy must have felt the 
  imbalance because of the 
  disturbance of Nobuki in the cave 
  and went to look for help.  All the 
  group has to do is turn Coy back 
  to his normal koi self and return him to 
  the cave.  Mondeblack has a simple vial, with a 
  bright green liquid, that should revert Coy to his 
  normal self and he can take it as soon as he gets 
  
   
  ~ 9 ~ 
   
   
  back to the pool. 
  If the Library is Rockin’… 
  Shichi will ring the bell outside and 
  come running through the door to grab a boken 
  (wooden sword) that was sitting by the door.  A 
  group of soldiers from Nobuki’s men will run 
  through the door followed by Nobuki.  Nobuki 
  will offer to take Coy and leave peacefully, and 
  perhaps throwing a few threats at 
  Mondeblack.   
  Mondeblack will direct the group to 
  follow him to the top of the tower, where he 
  keeps a flying carpet that everyone can use to 
  escape and get back to the cave.  The group will 
  have to fight their way up the stairs, fending off 
  Nobuki and her soldiers.  Make sure to start 
  throwing lots of books and use the goon rules 
  (see Details) to get a lot of mileage and 
  adventure out of this fight to the top of the 
  pagoda.   
  By the time they reach the top of the pagoda, 
  an extensive earthquake will begin shaking the 
  pagoda at its very foundation.  Mondeblack can 
  tell that this is the quake that will sink the 
  island; he must stay focused to keep the island 
  afloat.  Mondeblack will sit cross-legged in the 
  center of the flying carpet and close his 
  eyes.  Mondeblack will not be able to help the 
  group until Coy has been returned to the cave 
  and the island is no longer in danger of sinking. 
  The Crazy Carpet Chase 
      The carpet knows where to go and will 
  require little directions or controls once 
  Mondeblack is sitting on it.  Once they are flying 
  over Hawkwood the group may expect an 
  attack from the dire-hawks, but the surprise is 
  that Nobuki and her followers are using them to 
  follow in pursuit.  So the party is trapped on a 
  large lumbering carpet, being attacked by a 
  flying gang of hawks.  The party may try to 
  improvise several tactics to take down the hawk 
  riders. 
  Threats upon Threats 
  With Mondeblack in a meditative state 
  the island quakes are almost non-existent, but 
  he will not be able to help battle against 
  Nobuki.  Nobuki, a powerful sorceress, will yell 
  threats of killing them all if they do not turn 
  over Coy.  She may grab their attention by 
  insisting that even if they return Coy back to the 
  pond she will wait until they are not around and 
  take him.  She will be difficult for the group to 
  battle even without any guards, but if they 
  return Coy to the pond, Mondeblack will be free 
  to take care of Nobuki and the island will be 
  saved.  The point during the final chase through 
  
   
  ~ 10 ~ 
   
   
  the caverns is to help make the party feel 
  pressured to make them hesitate or doubt their 
  abilities. 
  “Look Ma, No Legs!” 
  With a few quick goodbyes from Coy, 
  he will drink the potion that Mondeblack 
  gave them, and dive back into the koi 
  pond.   This might be a good dramatic 
  moment to have Nobuki and any 
  remaining henchmen to corner the 
  party.  Mondeblack will come out 
  of his meditation state with the 
  island safe again, but appear 
  weakened and drained from the 
  ordeal.  Nobuki will take this 
  moment to gloat over how hard they fought 
  and it was all such a waste since she can now 
  take what she wants and no one can stop her.   
  Nobuki, feeling bold, will get closer and 
  closer to Mondeblack, so she can rub her 
  victory in the wizards face.  What she doesn’t 
  know is that Mondeblack is carrying a magic 
  lantern that he will entrap Nobuki, once she 
  gets within touching range.  With Nobuki 
  trapped, her men will flee as quickly as possible. 
  Wish upon a Fish 
  Coy restored has his full memories and 
  finally recognizes himself as the fish that is 
  responsible for the island of Tengoku, but 
  because of Nobuki’s tampering Coy and the 
  island had become unstable.   Through a 
  telepathic announcement Coy says, “Thank you 
  for all your help.  Because of your selflessness, 
  you are each granted a (limited) wish.  Tengoku 
  thanks you for your 
  service.”   
   
  Super Happy Fun Ending 
  With Tengoku 
  saved and Nobuki 
  imprisoned, it may seem 
  impossible to make it much 
  better, but there is also the 
  possibility that Mondeblack can keep 
  Coy as a human and still save Tengoku.  Perhaps 
  Mondeblack calls out for help from the other 
  Mondegreen clones and they show up just in 
  time, with all their power combined they 
  permanently raise Tengoku without the help of 
  Coy.  If you want to go even happier have 
  Nobuki realize the error of her ways and join 
  forces with Mondeblack.  As one last 
  alternative, Mondeblack tricks Nobuki into 
  taking the power from Coy forcing her to 
  become a fish and be trapped in the pond for 
  the rest of her days.
  
   
  ~ 11 ~ 
   
   
  Characters 
  Coy, the Koi  
  As Koi (AC 12; hp 2; #AT: 1; DMG slap 1d2; save as Fighter lvl 1) 
  As Fish-Man (AC 11; hp 3; #AT: 1; DMG short flipper/fist 1d2; save as Fighter lvl 1) 
  As Human (AC 10; hp 4; #AT: 1; DMG fist 1d2; save as Fighter lvl 1) 
   
  A fish from the Cave of Koi, Coy is the fish that held the balance needed to keep 
  the island of Tengoku afloat.  Because he has left his original pond for the first time in over 
  six-thousand years, he is unstable and keeps shifting from fish, fish-man, and human each time 
  there is an earthquake.  He must be returned to the pond before the island has a final 
  earthquake and sinks for good.  Once he is transformed back into the Worldfish at the end of 
  the adventure (hopefully), the character should be treated as a god or demigod character with 
  similar powers and features. 
   
  Nobuki  
  (AC 15, Magic-User 6, #AT 1, Damage Kasurigama (1d8), Mv 30’, 
  Sv Magic-User 6, MI 10, HP 17) 
  Spells:  1st Level Spells - Sleep, Ventriloquism, Shield;  
  2nd Level Spells - Locate Object, Invisibility   
  3rd Level Spells - Fireball, Water Breathing 
  Magic Items:  Ring of Protection + 2, Wand of Magic Missiles (11 
  charges), Potion of Healing, Scroll (Haste)   
  The illegitimate daughter of Tekazi (see previous 
  adventure The Tao of Ato), she reorganized her father’s followers 
  and has plans to take back her right to the throne.  She has heard 
  of a gem in the Caves of Koi that possesses enough power for her 
  to rule over the land again.  Her plan is to siphon off the power 
  to a second jewel, but the jewel is somewhat erratic and difficult to siphon, taking her longer than she is 
  expecting. 
   
  Toru  
  (AC 16, Fighter 3, #AT 2, Damage 2x Katana (1d8), Mv 30’, Sv F3, MI 9, HP 19) 
  The Captain of Nobuki’s personal guard and one of the former palace guards for Tekazi.  Toru has no 
  patients for silliness or childish games.  Toru is always at Nobuki’s side certain that he is protecting the next 
  empress of Tengoku. 
   
  
   
  ~ 12 ~ 
   
   
  Nobuki’s Guards  
  (AC 15, Fighter 3, #AT 1, Damage Yari Spear (1d10), Mv 30’, Sv F3, MI 8, HP 18) Equipment:  Chain Mail and 
  Yari 
   
  Mondegreen  
  This crazy old wizard really isn’t in the story, but we felt it important for DM’s to understand how 
  Mondeblack came into being and what Mondegreen is all about.  As a powerful wizard, Mondegreen was 
  constantly getting called away to deal with one problem or another in all corners of the world.  Eventually, 
  he came to the conclusion that he could get a lot more done if there were more of him to go around.  He 
  took it upon himself to create clones that could take care of problems locally and thus avoid travelling 
  around the world once a month.  
  The cloning spell took one other mage and two clerics to complete the process, but in the end 
  Mondegreen was able to make six copies of himself.  The copies were perfect in appearance and knowledge, 
  but different in attitudes and ideas.  Because of their similarities and differences they each took on a 
  different color to designate one from the other.   
   
  Mondeblack  
  (AC 15, Magic-User 6, #AT 1, Damage Bo Staff (1d8), Mv 30’, Sv Magic-
  User 6, MI 10, HP 17)   
  Spells:  1st Level Spells - Floating Disc, Magic Missile, Sleep 
  2nd Level Spells - Levitate, Wizard Lock 
  3rd Level Spells - Clairvoyance, Lightning Bolt   
  Magic Items:  Elven Cloak, Ring of Protection + 1, Tomb of Tengoku 
  (don’t let the island sink), Wand of Polymorph (16 charges), (2x) 
  Potion of Healing, Scroll (Fly)   
   
  Mondeblack is the clone of the wizard Mondegreen, and is 
  sworn to help protect the island continent of Tengoku.  He favors 
  wearing black silk robes with gold trim, and has a pagoda north of the 
  Hawkwood Forest.  He personally trained Shichi to become his assistant, and the two have worked together 
  for over six years faithfully.  Mondeblack started with a small collection of fifteen tomes that Mondegreen 
  sent him out with and his collection has grown to fill the walls of all eight stories of his pagoda. 
   
  Shichi  
  (AC 14; hp 11; #AT: 1; DMG boken 1d6; save as Fighter lvl 2) 
  Magic Items: Boken (Wooden Sword) +1 Flame on Command 
  
   
  ~ 13 ~ 
   
   
   
  A four-hundred pound Gorilla with silver flecked black fur, Shichi has been trained to assist 
  Mondeblack in his work.  Shichi responds to common, but is unable to 
  communicate outside of grunts and hand gestures.  He has recently been mastering 
  the art of origami and will have a dozen examples of his work on a table in front 
  of 
  Mondeblack’s pagoda. 
   
   
   
  
   
  ~ 14 ~ 
   
   
  Details 
  Bestiary (Far East of Brattleburg) 
  Dire-Hawk 
  Armor 
  Class:           15 
  Hit 
  Dice:                 
  4 
  No. of Attacks:    2 
  talons 1 beak 
  Damage:            1d4/1d4/1d6 
  Movement:          Fly 150’ (10’) 
  No. Appearing:    1d6 
  Save As:         Fighter: 4 
  Morale:               8 
  Treasure Type:   None 
  XP:                   250 
  Dire-Hawks are birds of prey, able to lift man-sized creatures into the air, though they prefer Halfling-sized 
  creatures as they are easier to fly away with.  With a wingspan of up to eight-feet across and talons that 
  hold shield as if it were a coin, the dire-hawks are nothing to be rivaled with.  They live in Hawkwood, but 
  will hunt up to a hundred miles from the forest, attacking easy livestock.  These hawks are 
  moderately intelligent and can be trained to ride. 
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
  Dire-Koi 
  Armor Class:        14 
  Hit Dice:              3 
  No. of Attacks:    1 bite 
  Damage:             1d6 
  Movement:        Swim 50’ (10’) 
  No. Appearing:    1d6 
  Save As:        Fighter: 3 
  Morale:               7 
  Treasure Type:    None 
  XP:                    85 
   
  Dire-Koi are rare in the wild, sticking to freshwater sources and only on 
  Tengoku, which is a small continent.   Koi are a normally docile fish, with no ill 
  intentions, unless their territory is being threatened, Dire-Koi are aggressive with 
  even less provocation.    
   
   
   
  
   
  ~ 15 ~ 
   
   
  Tanuki  
   
  as a Character Race (Optional) 
  Designed for use with Basic Fantasy by Chris 
  Gonnerman 
  Common Villager 
  Armor Class:        11 
  Hit Dice:              1 
  No. of Attacks:    1 pitchfork or rake 
  Damage:             1d4 
  Movement:          30’ 
  No. Appearing:     1d6 
  Save As:          Fighter: 1 
  Morale:                6 
  Treasure Type:       P 
  XP:                     20 
   
  The Tanuki villagers inside Hawkwood Forest 
  are scroungers, finding roots, vegetables, and fruits where 
  they can.  They try to scurry from tree to tree, staying 
  under the forest canopy, and avoiding any contact with 
  the Dire Hawks. 
  Description:   
  Tanuki are a small humanoid (around 3 ½ feet 
  average height), with fur covering their entire body, a tail, 
  and a Raccoon-like fur pattern.  They are generally plump 
  or stocky as a species and very agile.  As a race they are 
  very dexterous, and some might even say ‘bouncy’ leaping 
  about when excited.  Their furry coats and large eyes 
  make them very likeable by almost every race.   
  They are typically friendly and outgoing and in 
  some cases outspoken as they will not let a wrong go 
  undone, nor will they let it go if they find a problem in 
  the right.  As natural born brewers they use their senses 
  to help refine food and drink, they are the most critical of 
  all food and drink than any other race in the 
  world.  Tanuki advanced senses have made them some of 
  the best spear fishermen on Tengoku.  Commonly a 
  curious people, less in some and more in others, as the 
  common catchphrase around Tanuki is, “Don’t touch 
  that!” 
  Restrictions: 
  Tanuki favor the Thief and will gain 10% 
  experience as they learn faster in this class.  They are 
  required to have a minimum Charisma and Dexterity of 
  9, as even the ugliest Tanuki is simply adorable to the 
  rest of the world.  Because of their smaller size they are 
  not able to use large weapons (weapons over 4 feet), as 
  they become unwieldy. 
  Special Abilities:   
  Their small size makes them harder to hit, any 
  larger than man sized creatures will suffer -2 to hit on 
  the Tanuki in melee combat.  They have a heightened 
  sense of smell and hearing.  They can smell or hear an 
  approaching enemy from 100’ away, presuming that wind 
  isn’t a factor.   
   
  Saving Throws:  +2 vs Poison, Magic Wands, Paralysis or 
  Petrify, and spells; +4 vs Breath Weapon; +4 vs any 
  drinking affects. 
   
   
   
  
   
  ~ 16 ~ 
   
   
  History of the WorldFish 
      Thousands of years before Tengoku existed, a group of people fleeing persecution were stranded 
  in the middle of the ocean with nowhere they could go.  The land they fled from was now ruled by an evil 
  tyrant who would have them killed if they returned; and no other lands would have them.  They had all but 
  given up hope when a young boy, Hiro, caught a fish that promised a wish 
  if it was 
  released.  The boy asked for a land for him and his people.  From the 
  simple wish of a child the island of Tengoku rose from the ocean, the 
  fish asked only to have a home on Tengoku also, to be away from 
  fishermen and other predators.  Hiro, the wise, became the first emperor 
  and would visit the Caves of the Koi often for any advice from his new 
  fish friend.  The fish was happy and often granted small wishes to help 
  Hiro and his people, eventually Hiro passed and his predecessors forgot 
  about the fish.  Now only some of the oldest books keep the story alive. 
   
  Goon Rules (or, Rules for Fight Choreography) 
  The ‘Minion Rule’ appears in the 4th edition Dungeons & Dragons Dungeon Masters Guide, and 
  describes using half or quarter stat versions of a monster to give the party more to fight and to add to the 
  adventure’s flavor.  The first appearance of rules for cannon fodder troops was introduced in Feng Shui by 
  Robin D. Laws, specifically known as “Mook Rules”.  The thought behind renaming the rule was to separate 
  it from the D6 system design from the original Feng Shui, and retune the rule to work with Basic Fantasy 
  and the OSR.  The purpose of the rule is to add a cinematic flare to your 
  game, it may be necessary to emphasize to your players that the Goon Rules 
  are in play and not in play if you decide not to use them at all times in the 
  game. 
  Goons and Mooks are basically bad guys, swarms of them, all 
  nameless and all brandishing the same or similar weapons.  With goon rules 
  in place, it’s easy to amp up your casual fights and adds cinematic flare to 
  your game without bogging your game down in mounds of stats and 
  paperwork.  These rules are designed for action based games, with an 
  emphasis on fun and excitement, each action should add flash, style and a 
  bit of showmanship.  The rules will not work very well for a heavy suspense 
  style of game, unless it is used in between the mystery scenes.   
  It should be noted that goon rules will not work in a heavy combat game either.  Wait, combat is 
  action, you say?  Well, a combat game is usually based off of miniature or tactical combat actions, where 
  each round is measured out and every hit point is counted.  So a character will know the events of each 
  
   
  ~ 17 ~ 
   
   
  attack as they play out, for example:  A fighter is cornered in a kitchen by three men and the fight takes six 
  rounds of combat.  The other party members hear the action after the first round and go in to help, cutting 
  the combat down to two rounds. 
  But using the Goon Rules, you can make dramatic fighting happen, allowing you to rocket back to 
  the story and give the character a little more style.  For example, a group of characters are sitting in a pub, 
  the fighter goes to checkout something he saw out of the corner of his eye, he walks into the kitchen and the 
  group sees five goons surround him.  The door closes, the rest of the party gets up from the table, and the 
  fighter opens the door with a pile of goons in the middle of the kitchen floor.  
  A rule to follow when using the Goon Rule, is simply ask yourself if the fight is progressing the 
  story and how can it be more exciting.  When calculating how to do some crazy stunt, if it is exciting, always 
  add bonuses to success.  Characters should always be attacking more than one creature and usually using a 
  prop or improvised weapon.   
   
  Goon Rules applied to Basic Fantasy 
  1. 
  Goons are nameless 
  2. All named characters get +5 to hit any goon, or start with a base 
  goon AC of 5 
  3. Goons have a -5 to hit any “named” character 
  4. multiple goons may be the target of a single attack 
  5. Attacking more than one goon, characters have -1 to hit roll per 
  goon added 
  6. Goon fights are considered “knock out” fights; goons are knocked 
  unconscious or out of combat with one hit.  Ignore normal hit 
  point rules. 
  7. Improvised weapons add +1 to hit for any character or goon 
  8. Improvised stunt (swinging from chandelier, block shot with table, 
  running on a rolling barrel, knocking out roof supports, flipping 
  over goons, etc.) +1 per effect  
   
   
   
   
   
   
  
   
     Back in the mystical land 
  of Tengoku, the party finds 
  themselves called on a 
  quest by a not so coy Koi 
  named Coy. With the island 
  in danger, a walking and 
  talking fish running the risk 
  of gill cancer thanks to his 
  new cigar habit, and a 
  missing enchanted gem, the 
  land Far East of Brattleburg 
  may soon find itself going 
  south!  Can the heroes 
  restore the balance, solve 
  the mystery of the world 
  fish, and eat their takeout 
  noodles before they go 
  cold?  Find the answer in 
  “If Wishes were Fishes!”  
   
  If Wishes Were Fishes 
  Or 
   A Mage, a Monkey, and a 
  Magic Carpet Ride 
  GagMen Episode 31 
  January 2015 
  A Basic Fantasy Adventure 
   
  Written by the GagMen on 
  the GagMen RPG Podcast 
  Illustrations by Gaghouse 
  Productions 
  Contact:   
  shutup@gagmen.net 
   
   
  
SOURCE: textdata/thevault/Basic Fantasy/Basic Fantasy Adventures & Settings/GagMen/G1501 If Wishes Were Fishes (GagMen) (BasicF).pdf