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  "Excellent Adventuring"
  The Disoriented Ranger presents:
  A
  by Jens Durke
  Special thanks to Mark van Vlack, Chris
  Stieha, Eric Nieudan and Peter for playing,
  commenting and supporting this thing!
  For Angela, who showed more patience
  than is in her nature.
  Copyright by Jens Durke
  Illustrations on pages 17, 31, 84 and on the cover for Parts 1 is copyright by Mark van Vlack
  Labyrinth Lord TM is copyright 2007­2011, Daniel Proctor. Labyrinth Lord TM and Advanced
  Labyrinth Lord TM are trademarks of Daniel Proctor. These trademarks are used under the
  Labyrinth Lord TM Trademark License 1.2, available at www.goblinoidgames.com.
  All drawings (with the exception of Mark van Vlack's stuff) are in the Public Domain and mainly
  from the works: In Darkest Africa by Henry M. Stanley, Vol.1 & 2 (New York, 1890); Sieben Jahre
  in Süd­Afrika by Dr. Emil Holub, Vol. 1 & 2 (Wien, 1881) and Travels in the Central Parts of Indo­
  China by M. Henri Mouhot, Vol 1 & 2 (London, 1864).
  More of the same at www.the-disoriented-ranger.blogspot.de
  
  I will let loose against you the fleet­footed vines—
  I will call in the Jungle to stamp out your lines! The roofs shall fade before
  it. The house­beams shall fall, And the Hurly, the bitter Hurly, Shall cover
  it all!
  In the gates of these your councils my people shall sing, In the doors of
  these your garners the Bat­folk shall cling; And the snake shall be your
  watchman, By a hearthstone unswept; For the Hurly, the bitter Hurly,
  Shall fruit where ye slept!
  Ye shall not see my strikers; ye shall hear them and guess; By night, before
  the moon­rise, I will send for my cess, And the wolf shall be your
  herdsman. By a landmark removed, For the Hurly, the bitter Hurly, Shall
  seed where ye loved!
  I will reap your fields before you at the hands of a host; Ye shall glean
  behind my reapers for the bread that is lost; And the deer shall be your
  oxen By a headland untilled, For the Hurly, the bitter Hurly, Shall leaf
  where ye build!
  I have untied against you the club­footed vines, I have sent in the Jungle
  to swamp out your lines The trees—the trees are on you! The house­beams
  shall fall, And the Hurly, the bitter Hurly, Shall cover you all!
  Based on a poem by Rudyard Kipling (in The Second Jungle Book).
  
  1:
  Introduction
  2:
  Into the Jungle (Rumors)
  3:
  Gorillas (Main Honchos)
  King Kolossus
  Mincy
  Bling Kong
  The Brain
  4:
  Gorilla Elite (Minions)
  The Dreaming Elves
  The Goblin Troupes
  The Orangutan Pushers
  The Chimpanzee Ninjas
  5:
  Circus Folk (Freaks)
  The Clown
  The Agile Twins
  The Fatal Pantomine
  The Strongest Man Alive
  The Two‐Faced Woman
  The Magician
  6:
  TARZANG!
  7:
  Cannibals ...
  8:
  Pygmies (Mushroom Weirdos)
  9:
  Aliens (Badly Disguised, really)
  10:
  The Jungle
  11:
  Random Encounters
  12:
  The Drug
  12a:
  The End
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  What is this?
  T
  his is an OSR­compatible mostly setting agnostic sandbox
  module about ape organized drug traffic and flying feces. It
  got way bigger than I thought it would and I hope it’ll bring you
  some joy. I’ll use Labyrinth Lord TM as the go­to system here and
  it’s more like an adventure location instead of an adventure.
  There will be some hooks to get the players involved, too. I’d
  like to thank Mark van Vlack for giving me the inspiration, an
  ear or two and his pen (plus his Random Monkey Table, check
  out his monkey table in Appendix 5!).
  This is not a work of science but a work of pulp. Don’t expect
  biological accuracy or anything. Indian, Amazon or African
  jungle? I don’t care, it’s all one hot mess. Easy enough changed
  if you know better (and care), easy enough ignored by the rest.
  But, you know, this also has drug dealing apes and mushroom
  pygmies that want to get eaten and some magic. There is even a
  dinosaur somewhere in there, so going with “pulp fantasy” on
  this one is a safe bet anyway.
  Inspiration
  W
  hat follows is a list of sources that somehow inspired this
  module. In almost all the cases it’s more tagline than
  specific variant, so YMMV. Which is to say, I don’t care that much
  if old or new Planet of the Apes does it for you or which version
  of Super Mario you played, because this is mostly about the
  ideas and concepts those sources represent.
  Planet of the Apes
  Super Mario
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  Tarzan
  Monkey Island/Pirates of the Caribbean
  Galaxy Quest
  Futurama
  Rick & Morty
  Lost World
  Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
  Breaking Bad
  Easy Rider
  Flight of the Amazon Queen
  How to use this book
  I
  deally you squeeze a mini­campaign out of this and use it for
  your game. It’s what I had in mind when putting this togeth­
  er and what the whole thing is laid out to do. That being said, I
  decided to keep as much rules stuff as possible separated from
  the main text. All the rules specific data will be collected in ap­
  pendices in the end (Part 2 for the pdf). You’ll have the occa­
  sional Save or some specific rules for encounters, but most of it
  is self­explanatory enough that you could use it for every system
  and every world out there.
  If you actually use this with Labyrinth Lord TM (or other OSR
  variants), you’ll have all the system relevant data handy in the
  appendices at the end of this book, so that’s a plus. As far as
  levels go, I’d start with low level characters and have them at
  around mid­level when they are to showdown the gorilla mob.
  But you might as well read it just for fun or filter it for the bits
  you could need for something else or just play a side quest. The
  whole thing is supposed to be gonzo and funny, but again, if you
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  want this to be a jungle noir story or even situated in a big city à
  la Zootopia, more power to you. Just have fun doing it!
  It’s in the nature of these things that they end up incomplete in
  parts. I write this with me as the DM in mind first and it might
  very well be that you’ll have to expand on areas you think more
  important than I do.
  The way I work it on the table, I only need a general knowledge
  about the scenario and a few ideas what an encounter is about.
  Everything else builds on that and the decisions the players
  make. That is basically what you’ll get and all the tools you'll
  need to make your own version of it. If you want to be fancy,
  you could call this a procedural jungle crawl.
  I also aim to make this as complete as possible. But, you know,
  just saying …
  The Stage
  A
  jungle. It could be on an island, but doesn’t have to be. If
  you have an area in your campaign where some Asian
  themed temples and a group of way too intelligent gorillas
  wouldn’t feel out of place, than this is where the adventure is at.
  How the characters got there is also not that important. Stran­
  ded, teleported, living there, you name it. It should work as a
  one­shot or mini campaign or part of your setting, depending
  how you set it up. There is enough material for all variants.
  So here’s the ruckus: a couple of gorillas figured a way out to
  hook almost the entire population surrounding their base on a
  psychedelic drug. Apes can be scary like that, but the real Big
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  Bad here is a fungus referred to as "The Shroom" residing under
  the ruined temple the gorillas use as their base of operations
  (see App. 2). It speaks to them in their dreams and gives them
  strange ideas. The drug it produces will affect users very differ­
  ently, depending on their usefulness to the fungus. Elves, for in­
  stance, are strong dreamers and will fall in a deep trance,
  enhancing the sphere of influence of the fungus’ dreamscape,
  body by body.
  Goblins, to give another example, will develop loyalty together
  with very practical suicidal tendencies and (yes, this is true) ex­
  plode when hit with pointy things, the fungus having altered
  their body chemistry and what not. The list goes on (and will be
  found further below in detail). All pay as good as they can to get
  that next fix. Ecology and economy of the whole area are
  already affected heavily by the whole affair and it won’t take
  long for this enterprise to expand beyond its borders.
  Mature Content Warning
  Yeah, we’ll have that. Or at least I consider an adult readership
  for this, so I can write “fuck” whenever I want. Maybe it’ll be
  gross in parts, too, will have all kinds of wrong humor and shit­
  loads of fictional characters might get very stoned. You have
  been warned.
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  1d10 Random List of Rumors (& Adventure Hooks):
  Y
  ou chose how much of this is true or just right for your
  game. Could be all of it, could be nothing (because you
  have a better idea, for instance … it’s possible). You could also
  roll a d10 (or more) and be done with it. I’d use it all, though,
  and use number 10 (or 9?) as the adventure kicker.
  1. A new drug appears in a harbor of your choosing and causes
  lots of trouble (characters are hired to find the source and/or stop
  it).
  2. There is a hidden valley/secret island/[where ever you put it]
  and drunk sailors tell stories about beautiful naked natives,
  strange rituals and huge apes sitting on even bigger piles of gold
  and diamonds (characters find a map leading to that location and
  their research will reveal those rumors).
  3. A strange illness starts affecting magic users everywhere,
  basically driving them crazy for no apparent reason and with all
  kinds of reactions, from funny to devastating (characters are
  hired by a famous religious leader to find the source and find out if
  it’s possible to weaponize it).
  4. The dwarves have quarantined a huge jungle area/a couple of
  islands and threaten to euthanize all of it because of some
  obscure threat they believe to be in the quarantined zone. The
  people inside it are not happy about that (the characters are
  trapped inside the quarantined zone, but not yet aware of the
  monkey business deeper in the jungle/on that other island and
  need to act before the dwarves nuke the whole thing).
  5. There are portals in [insert a dungeon you’d like to use at
  some point] that lead to a hidden strange land where gorillas
  are worshipped as benevolent and wise spiritual leaders and
  that is full of riches ready for the taking (Characters happen to
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  go through one of those portals and now have to find a way out of
  the area, since the portal was a one way ticket. Getting out of there
  will prove to be quite challenging with everyone stoned out of their
  mind and slacking themselves to death …).
  6. The elves seem to be worried about something they call “The
  Big Sleep” and weird freak accidents start to happen all over the
  place, like a whale falling with very high velocity unto a market
  place in that one town (the elves know that some of their brothers
  and sisters are in some sort of dire predicament, but wouldn’t go
  near it and that’s where the characters get involved: they have to
  find those elves and help them).
  7. A local noble came back from an expedition with a strange
  illness, a just as strange foreigner and some very interesting
  travel reports, if you can believe what the maids gossiped in the
  kitchens (characters are hired to find a cure for that “illness” by
  travelling into the jungles that expedition had visited and crack
  some skulls … of course it’s no illness, but a stone cold drug
  addiction).
  8. Something influences trading routes from the south and some
  very rich people get upset about their lack of expensive goods
  like chocolate … not that you care (but then again, a wizard
  pays good money for those reactivating his supplier before all that
  nice research of his is lost).
  9. There is this really stubborn rumor about apes wielding
  weapons
  and
  capable
  of
  sophisticated
  speech
  (the
  Royal
  Academy of Zookeepers wants one of those, a pair if possible, and
  they offer a title with some land for it, too).
  10. Sightings about some very strange carnival people who
  started terrorizing folks near [the jungle] (a group of relatives
  seeks the helping hands of adventurers to find a missing circus
  troupe and pay good money).
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  10
  
  Dramatis Personae
  T
  his is a collection of individuals and groups that characters
  could (should?) encounter and interact with in the jungle.
  I’ll present this here without stats, just with the individual rules
  that might apply for them and in some cases their treasure.
  Appendix 4 will collect all npcs and new monsters with short
  entries in one place and Appendix 3 will offer some random
  Jungle Treasure Generation. The rest can be found in the
  Labyrinth Lord TM core rules. This, for now, is fluff.
  The Gorillas
  They are the kings of the jungle right now. Highly intelligent
  and rather ruthless. They work hard on expanding their
  territory with force. They have smooth orangutan pushers,
  exploding goblin goons and deadly silent chimpanzee ninjas
  abound. They have “technology” and a highly addictive drug. If
  you are in the jungle, you will sooner or later encounter them or
  their handiwork. They all speak or understand common.
  1. King Kolossus
  Gets bigger every time he gets hit. After losing half his hp, he
  grows another size category (gets a +3 to AC because of thick
  fur and skin). With 10 or less left, he actually is big enough to
  throw people far away, if he catches them. Develops urge to
  climb highest elevation (gets another +6 to AC, because now it’s
  really hard to hit something vital).
  King Kolossus is the shroom whisperer of the organization, so
  he has the final word in all decisions (well, the shroom has,
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  but that’s quite difficult to find out). He also controls the
  dreaming elves (see The Gorilla Elite, p. 14) and has power
  over users and only a Save versus Spells with a disadvantage of
  ­4 will help against his orders for those who are using the drug.
  This affects as many hd around him as he has hp and includes
  suicide commandos.
  2. Mincy
  Likes to punch his victims into minced meat (hence the nick
  name). Every time one of his attacks hits a target, he gets
  another attack. Just like that, as long as he hits, he hits another
  time in the same round, getting faster and faster, until nothing is
  left but a moist heap of shivering meat. Getting faster doesn’t
  give him a bonus on attacks, though. He gets too excited and
  loses accuracy when he gets faster, which evens out …
  He has a knack for training the lesser primates and goblins
  of the outfit. The chimpanzee ninjas are his most loyal minions.
  3. Bling Kong
  This guy loves gold, luxury and cigars. He wears an armor of
  gold chains and trinkets and whatever he could glue to himself
  or punch into form. This being heavy as hell, he got super
  strong as a side effect to wearing enough gold to count as a
  325.761 gp full plate.
  Every time a character is hit by Bling, he’ll have to make a Save
  vs. Paralysis or the punch will also destroy one piece of
  armor. If no armor is left, it’ll break bones instead (random
  1d8: 1 – head (save vs. death to lose consciousness instead of
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  dying); 2, 3, 4 – torso (takes 3 hits before it needs a save vs.
  death as with the head); 5 – left arm (save vs. paralysis to not
  go down in shock for 1d8 rounds, either way, limb is useless); 6
  – right arm (resolve like left arm); 7 – left leg (resolve like left
  arm); 8 – right leg (resolve like left arm)). And don’t be a dick
  by rolling where the character is hit before destroying all armor.
  This will hurt enough either way.
  He is also the one with the network of spies all over the jungle
  and he will know more about the characters than any other
  gorilla in the outfit. Even more than the characters themselves.
  He is willing to parley, but if forced to fight, he’ll go for the
  weaknesses of a group and relentlessly so (no gloves here, this
  has to hurt).
  4. The Brain
  This one has a huge head and uses devices with effects as a
  level 20 magic user has spells. The brain of the outfit. First
  one to develop language. First thing he made was a monocle,
  right now he’s working on a tank. Calls his goblin minions
  “Pinkies” although they are more of a greenish/brown. Well,
  they explode, so there is that.
  By now he has a laboratory and is really into logistics. Produces
  a constant flow of gadgets and the drug, of course.
  The Gorilla Elite
  There are two ways of seeing this: either the drug has very
  specific effects on different species or it’s a conscious effort of
  the quasi­sentient fungus under the temple. You decide what’s
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  scarier. Either way, the outfit producing, distributing and
  protecting the drug is dangerously effective because of it. There
  are 4 groups of minions supporting the gorillas.
  1. The Dreaming Elves
  The elves affinity for the Realm of Fairy makes them especially
  prone to the effects of the drug and by perusing it they
  immediately fall unconscious and start the dreaming. This
  dream they have is not only a shared experience, but also in a
  way connected to the effects of the drug that it actually
  enhances its effects. Mostly in reach, but who knows what else
  might happen with enough elves imprisoned in the dreaming
  (see the Circus Folk, p. 18, to get an idea what else might be in
  store if this spreads).
  The dreaming elves are stored deep within the ruined temple
  and overgrown with mushrooms. They may be encountered in
  the dream realm, if visited with a sober mind. Eating from the
  growth on their body will also make communication with them
  possible. They are sleepy and really afraid. Killing or freeing
  them will weaken the drug and its effects immensely (see The
  Drug, p. 47 onward).
  2. The Goblin Troupes
  Fearless and loyal suicide squads. They explode into pink
  clouds of bone splitters instead of dying with dignity (1d8
  damage to those in melee range, Save versus Magic Wand for
  half) and often cut themselves manically while running towards
  an enemy in the hope to explode into their face without the
  fighting part. The drug makes it really easy here, as those
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  fuckers breed and grow faster since they started using. It's been
  messy.
  Notable Characters: Hoglinpok No­Boom (notoriously immune
  to the drug and thus a champion and veteran, is something
  similar to a king); Karin­Karon­Karan (three really famous
  goblin football players, extremely capable in a football game
  and count as goblin bodyguards as per the rules); Mother Scar
  (goblin midwife, saves countless birthing goblin women on a
  weekly basis, is extremely good with her knives)
  3. The Orangutan Pushers
  You haven’t seen anything in life if you haven’t seen a cigar
  smoking orangutan selling drugs. Real smooth and real shady.
  They prowl the jungle with their backpacks and cigars either to
  get somewhere delivering drugs or they are on their way back to
  the temple getting more.
  They perfectly understand and there is a 70 % chance that they
  also speak a common language. Their first successful attack
  always administers the drug into the victim. After that they fight
  defensively until the effects start to take hold (see The Drug, p.
  45). It’s important to understand that they are not only selling,
  but mostly spreading the drug. They are really sneaky about it,
  too, using all kinds of tools like blowguns, powders or spiked
  fruits to get the job done. Once a creature is hooked up, it
  comes on its own terms to get the next kick, instinctively also
  bringing something of value for payment (it’s the drug talking
  ..., see The Drug p. 45).
  There is a side show to this whole thing. A group of clever
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  natives realized that the getting bitten by drugged snakes has
  a far superior kick compared to the original and some of them
  are selling the poison milked from those snakes (or offer free
  bites, whatever). The orangutans can’t have that and there is a
  small turf war going on between the two groups.
  Notable Characters: Jarring Johnson (“JJ” short, this monkey
  found the groove before he found his tongue and is constantly
  singing and swinging with a deep voice and a versatile
  repertoire … has a broad­brimmed fedora, too, feather and all),
  Jimbo Dean (you just got to love a rebel, Jimbo can’t do without
  the drug but also can’t do with the current gorilla regime, so he
  went underground, stealing drugs when he can, sabotaging
  operations along the way and is generally on the run but would
  be happy to gain some allies)
  4. The Chimpanzee Ninjas
  This is the true elite combat unit of the outfit. They are mostly
  protecting the temple and its surroundings, but have been sent
  on occasion to take care of known threats before they got
  imminent or to destabilize the area into chaos to allow faster
  expansion of the fungus. They love and worship their mentor
  Mincy.
  Chimpanzee Ninjas can do all the stuff normal chimpanzees can
  do anyway, like climbing and jumping, but also get Move
  Silently and Hide in Shadows at freaking 80 %, do sneak attack
  damage (even if attacking from a distance!) and are able to use
  a huge variety of ninja weapons (elven manufacturer, don’t ask)
  as a bonus.
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  16
  
  They even wear adorable ninja outfits and are disturbingly quiet
  for chimpanzees. Never blink, too …
  Notable Characters: None. They all look the same.
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  17
  Art by Mark van Vlack
  
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  Circus Folk
  The carnival folks have a very strange connection to the drug.
  As entertainers they are used to sell dreams and make­believe.
  The shroom responds to that and amplifies it into the weird.
  Most of it is actually quite harmless, but all of it should be able
  to scare the players shitless. Have fun cranking this one up. A
  week cold turkey and those guys are back to normal. Seven of
  them managed to survive as the characters enter the jungle.
  1. The Clown (real name: Jarrit Kanukken)
  This poor creature looks like a giant upright baboon in a clown
  costume and with crazy long claws. He’s totally harmless, of
  course, but the chilling laugh and the unstoppable urge to
  cuddle people before he starts his routine, can make this a
  problem. So when he sees the group, he’ll start laughing
  hysterically, raise his arms and run towards the smallest
  character (to embrace him, of course). It’s a small wonder that
  he’s still alive (well, the drug actually changes even lions into
  giant furry kitty cats, so there’s only soft resistance) and he
  should be described with torn (but colorful!) clothes and with
  lots of scratches and bites from desperate animals.
  2. The Agile Twins (Gilla and Wenny)
  They are knotted hopelessly. They found a strange mode of
  movement and are constantly disagreeing or saying the
  complete opposite of what the other said. Both young girls
  (maybe around twelve) are very sad about their current
  situation, but can’t even agree on how sad they are or why.
  Trying to help them un­knot will need a difficult Save vs.
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  Petrification (or some such thing) or the character will get
  involved in the knot. That’s actually how they catch their food,
  by trapping it between them and twisting it soft (a bad case of
  the munchies, really). So anyone trapped in there will get 1d3
  damage per round as the body is crushed. There is a 1 in 6
  chance that the twins still have some rests of their former meal
  between them (they don’t move when they feed, so they are
  usually only very dirty when encountered).
  If the Save is made, the characters need to decide how they
  solve this human knot (Strength, Dexterity or Intelligence). If
  others are trapped between the twins, time might be of the
  essence, too. Cutting those poor girls down to free a comrade
  would be just wrong. Very wrong. It will have repercussions if
  the other carnies find out. And they will find out …
  3. The Fatal Pantomime (Knut Lautzeig)
  Unable to talk (no mouth) and really desperate because of it. He
  is now only able to communicate with his routine. Problem is,
  the invisible things he forms tend to get real and others he
  didn’t summon make it so much more difficult. By now he is
  trapped in an invisible labyrinth, surrounded by traps of all sorts
  and it’s hard to tell if he’s trying to say something or if he’s
  fighting for his life …
  4. The Strongest Man Alive (Harry)
  This guy lies in fetal curl in a crater, crying. He’s really scared to
  move, because even the slightest movement of his has
  devastating effects on his surroundings (5d6 damage, Save vs.
  Spells for half, because characters also falls half the damage
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  55 :: CC II RR CC UU SS FF OO LL KK
  they get in meters through the air). Even talking will shatter
  earth and splatter bodies. Crying seems to be okay, though.
  He hasn’t really eaten for 3 weeks and looks seriously starved
  right now. He also has an irrational fear of bananas (banana­
  phobia, I kid you not … the struggle is real) and will panic in
  the most spectacular way if confronted with one. This being the
  jungle, there are lots of bananas close by, of course. Ahem.
  5. The Two­Faced Woman (Malia)
  She is usually sitting on a tree stump, combing her hair, when
  the characters encounter her. She went to great lengths to stage
  it, though. Light will shine favorably on her hair, there are birds
  playing in the trees, maybe a waterfall, all very beautiful and
  serene. She’ll be singing something, too. Real Disney and all
  that. Under those circumstances characters will get ­1d6 on the
  Save vs. Spells they have to make when seeing her (the number
  rolled gives you an idea just how beautiful the scene is!). There
  is a 2 in 6 chance that the characters get aware of her creeping
  up on them (in that case she’d still sit somewhere and comb her
  hair, it’s just not as scenic and characters get a +2 bonus on
  their save).
  Those failing their Saves will act as under the level 4 spell
  Confusion until the spell is broken and with the following
  effects (roll 2d6 every turn or when finished with a task): 1­2
  Attack Random Rival (make a scene, Dandy) 3­5 Court the
  Dame (make happen what she wants) 6­7­ Lots of Sighing and
  Languishing (dreamy stares and all that) 8­10 Tell Others of Her
  Beauty (interrupt people, be gleefully passive aggressive) 11­12
  Attack Those Who Aren’t Getting It (that is: those who made
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  55 :: CC II RR CC UU SS FF OO LL KK
  their Save). A DM should give those players affected a note
  telling them that they should act as if they heard the opposite of
  what those unaffected are telling them. Characters don’t eat or
  drink under her ban. They just perish. As soon as the affection
  she’s getting stops (because: dead), she moves on and hunts for
  the next group of victims.
  The unaffected see a bearded lady who’s a little on the obese
  side and sloppy. There are two ways to break the ban or force
  a new Save. The easiest one is killing her. She won’t resist, but
  those courting her at the time will definitely defend her to the
  death. Once she’s dead, the Confusion is broken, though. The
  second option would be to get the players with characters
  under the influence to say/admit the truth at least three times in
  a row. Mind you, they are advised to understand the opposite of
  what they are told and as a DM you’ll have to keep the players
  focused here! Example:
  Unaffected Player: Oh she is so pretty, isn’t she?
  Affected Player: You sayin’ she’s ugly, huh? (First right answer!)
  Unaffected Player: Exactly!
  Affected Player: So she’s not?! (Second attempt failed …)
  Unaffected Player (right response would have been): No, she isn’t!
  Beautiful, I say!
  Key to this encounter is helping the players navigating the
  situation to its full effect. Give the affected players the room to
  run with it and the unaffected enough room to test and play
  with the situation. Make clear what people can do and what not.
  This encounter could end up being harmless or really, really
  dangerous. But most of all it should be fun.
  21
  
  55 :: CC II RR CC UU SS FF OO LL KK
  6. The Magician (Sneetyen Ver Bonink)
  Every one of his magic tricks fail in a most brutal way possible,
  harming him, but not killing him. The one where he gets cut in
  half takes him three full hours to grow back together again.
  Under tremendous pain, no less. And yet he is driven to perform
  and desperate for people to join his routine. He is also the only
  one of the whole group of circus folk lost in the jungle that
  actually build a stage and will even perform when no one is
  there.
  He seems mostly harmless, actually. And will promise to come
  with the party if one of them performs a trick with him (because
  he will promise anything just to get someone on stage, he has
  no intention to leave, though). And even so he survives his
  tricks unharmed, others sure won’t be as lucky. Ways to get
  harmed are (roll 1d6):
  1. Character assists the magician in a trick called “The Torso” in
  which the Magician demands to get dismembered, gives the
  character an axe and puts his bare arm on a table for everyone
  to see. Blood, tears and screams ensue … but he gets the arm
  back on, too.
  2. Knives thrown on the Turning Wheel (successful to­hit for
  each to miss, 5 knives, each doing 1d6­2 damage if to­hit fails).
  3. Pulls 1d6 gold pieces out of your ears/head (hurts like hell,
  1d6­1 damage per piece).*
  4. Character is put into an upright box, the box is closed,
  turned, opened again and the character has a new race/gender
  (random 1d6: (1) orc (2) elf (3) dwarf (4) halfling (5) human
  (6 or if character already is that race) switch gender).
  5. Character is put into a vertical box which is then closed and
  22
  
  55 :: CC II RR CC UU SS FF OO LL KK
  chained before 6 swords are put through box and character (to­
  hit, 1d6+[number of swords in character] per sword)
  6. Character is put into a horizontal box, head and feet are seen,
  then the box is sawed in two parts (Save or DIE, if save is made,
  character still is in four parts, since the hands had been below
  the waist and all that … hurts like hell, too).
  I’ll leave it to the DM to make the best possible show out of the
  situation. Instead of rolling it randomly, you could also start
  with number 1 and work your way down the list, finding out
  how far this could go. It’s also very important that the rest of the
  group believes as long as possible that it’s all a trick.
  *One could try to avoid this after the first piece by leaving the stage, but once he
  announced the trick, the pieces will be within the participant and The Magician
  has at least a save way to pull them out …
  Dead Circus Folk
  T
  hey are all over the place. The Luccanelli Brothers didn’t
  stop flying … until they did, The Unbelievable Goatman
  was really misunderstood by some natives, The Band drowned
  themselves to stop hearing their own music 24/7, The Director
  whipped the wrong tiger, The Organ Grinder got his organs
  grinded … the list can go on (if you need more, make them up).
  Characters will occasionally stumble across those poor,
  unfortunate souls. One common theme seems to be the
  unreasonable (and strange) mushroom growth covering their
  decaying bodies (or what is left of them).
  23
  
  24
  
  66 :: KK II NN GG OO FF TT HH EE JJ UU NN GG LL EE
  Tarzang – King (Slacker) of the Jungle
  N
  ot one of the circus people, but totally zoned out by the
  shroom drug anyways. His real name is Viscount Lonny
  Graustock and he led an expedition into the jungle to rob some
  poor natives just a few months ago. Now he swings himself na­
  ked (and muscular) from tree to tree (mostly hitting them and
  screaming in pain because of it or in fear to hit one again …)
  and thinks he is able to talk to animals.
  He seems harmless (and well built), but he will bring a group
  into trouble if they believe he really is some sort of king of the
  jungle (as he will claim, of course). His primary motivation is to
  get the next score and he’ll try to use a group as distraction
  against an orangutan pusher on drug delivery, grabs what he
  can carry and makes a run for it. If there are females in the
  group, he’ll pick the prettiest one and scheme to kidnap her.
  He’ll also call her Jane all the time. No one knows why.
  Possessions: A ring on his left hand that could identify him as a
  noble of sorts. He has a shabby tree house deep in the jungle
  with some treasure (1d100 gold pieces in a little box, a light
  crossbow +2 with the word SPLATTER burned into the handle
  and a Longsword of Insignia Carving), a journal written in bad
  prose and a couple of rare but abused Tarzang pulp novels
  (which could be worth 50 gp to a really desperate or stupid col­
  lector) among lots of trash and bones.
  25
  
  77 :: CC AA NN NN II BB AA LL SS
  Major groups
  Crazy Cannibals
  W
  ell. Who doesn’t like cannibals?! Several tribes, actually,
  and crazy ones, too! Imagine those guys as the stereo­
  typical versions with bones in their noses, a fat chief with beau­
  tiful daughters and one big boiler for the guests. They have a
  very strange humor and generally react the opposite to what
  one should think reasonable. They also have traps all over the
  jungle, especially where people might travel (because: nom
  nom).
  As for flair, I’d say they wear wood masks too big for their heads
  when they are hunting, their huts are on stalks for no apparent
  reason and everything else is made from bones: skull cups, bone
  furniture … all things, really. They have the drum thing going,
  are gullible to people pretending to be gods (like wielding
  something those primitive could perceive as magic) and all
  kinds of other antiques you can come up with or remember from
  cartoons. Still, they’ll eat you if they get the chance.
  They have shamans and those fuckers usually are the cleverest
  of the bunch. Sneaky bastards, too. But they got their hands full
  with the drug right now (see The Drug, p. 44/45).
  A Treasure: The jungle is ripe with natural treasure for those
  looking (see Appendix 3) and you’ll notice that individual treas­
  ures aren't scarce in this module. That being said, I’d like to
  mention the infamous Crystal Skull here, a great treasure
  (should net around 100.000 gp) and religious icon. Also the
  reason those cannibals don’t get along … It might be worth a
  26
  
  88 :: PP YY GG MM II EE SS
  campaign on its own or yet one more reason to get the charac­
  ters involved in this monkey business ...
  Friendly Mushroom Pygmies
  O
  ne foot tall and very friendly mushroom people with
  strange customs, which shouldn't be a surprise when
  talking about sentient mushrooms. They mostly communicate
  over fungus networks and are really out of it when they do so
  (gently swaying and with serene facial expressions). They say
  “Yippieh!!” a lot and are friendly to a default, believing they
  have to do the opposite of what their god does to achieve bal­
  ance in the world. So, yeah, a very strange cult is in the mix, too
  (I’ll make it strange, but if you can, crank it up further).
  Their god is, incidentally, the evil fungus that produces the drug
  and is the brain behind the gorilla drug operation (see p. 43
  onward). Or at least that entity is part of their god. But good
  luck finding out what’s what. Right now they are in a quite inef­
  fective war against the drug to achieve some sort of balance
  against the influence their god is gathering right now.
  And here’s the next thing: communicating with those pygmies is
  quite difficult, even if you eat the strange fruit they offer you to
  open a dialogue (before eating that they’ll just sound like farting
  and giggling stoners after a good deep draw of helium ... which
  is quoting some movie, but I can’t remember which). After eat­
  ing that fruit, you will understand what they are saying, but
  they will make as much sense as you’d expect from someone
  who has eaten the wrong mushrooms and all their actions seem
  completely irrational. Use Dadaism here as a technique, if you
  like (that means, for instance, constructing sentences where
  27
  
  88 :: PP YY GG MM II EE SS
  syntax and semantics are screwed, stuff like: “Let’s tree! The
  angry is rain yesterday and we all mellow in rot before this nev­
  er was.” With a friendly smile and a reassuring nod, as if the
  meaning is completely clear). If you can improvise something
  like that, all the better. But preparing a few phrases or a collec­
  tion of words they might use can’t hurt. If understanding is re­
  quired, I’d allow a difficult Intelligence check (or Wisdom, if you
  are cheeky). The pattern is, there is no pattern.
  Eating those friendly mushroom people will give super powers
  for a short period of time. They will be happy to get eaten and
  they are polite about it, too, making happy noises and all that
  (well, at least that’s the impression you’ll get). Truth is, they dig
  it because it spreads their fungal network to different places
  (guess how). So it basically helps them expand.
  Red Mushroom Dots: Character gets stronger. +4 to Strength
  for 1d6 Minutes. The character even grows a little.
  Green Mushroom Dots: Regenerate 1d6 hp damage per round
  for 1d4 turns.
  Yellow Mushroom Dots: Character grows one size category for
  1d10 turns. Doubles the hit points and makes it easy to topple
  small trees and so on.
  Blue Mushroom Dots: Like the spell Haste …
  Yes, they have colored dots like that … Effects don’t stack, but
  they mix (two red will not make you stronger than one red, but
  red and blue will make you stronger and faster). Eating all four
  different colors at once or in very short order will make you go
  BOOM! Only a Save vs. Death avoids full body combustion, but
  leaves you blinking glaringly and in full color spectrum for 1d6
  minutes (very disco … and all but the last mushroom you took
  28
  
  88 :: PP YY GG MM II EE SS
  are in effect). Characters doing this on a regular basis will also
  develop a fungal growth above their lips, looking like a black
  mustache (gender indifferent, snap!). Very hard to get rid of.
  Those guys are also able to actually do something against
  the gorilla problem. But only if they are strong enough to
  grow a "father mushroom" (see Appendix 1, Factions).
  29
  "Amy Shroomer" by Mark van Vlack
  
  99 :: AA LL II EE NN SS
  Badly Disguised Alien Missionaries
  All right. So here we have a couple of alien colonists that do
  some research here in the jungle. Their true forms are hidden
  under illusions and they give themselves as 19th century British
  explorers (even if Great Britain doesn’t exist in your campaign
  world, or, well, especially then!), completely with the accent, tea
  time and the khaki. A strange lot. And with faulty technology,
  too. But actually quite harmless. The longer a group spends time
  with them, the higher is the chance that they’ll see something
  that doesn’t fit. For this accumulate 2,5 % per hour, test every 2
  hours until a detail is revealed, then start from the beginning
  (and make a scene out of the moment, as they are embarrassed
  right then and do a bad job of hiding the evidence).
  1d6 + (1d4) ideas what the characters see:
  1. The Illusion Flickers and you see for a short moment an
  aspect of the true creature hidden under the illusion (1:
  Tentacles?!, 2: a gibbering mouth… 3: hear their true language,
  it’s wet and repulsive, 4: You can’t even …)
  2. You see one of them eating a piece of Schlörmgh and
  whatever this is, it’s most and for all slimy and seems to be
  alive. The colonists mouth opens way too wide to be natural, as
  he tries to have a little snack on the side (1: your eyes meet and
  his go wide in surprise as still a little leg (?) shivers in the
  corner of his mouth, 2: it’s short and brutal, the alien thinks no
  one sees it, 3: you see one of them go behind some crates or a
  tree and when it comes back, it has some strange violet goo on
  the chin and fingers, 4: someone left a crate full of Schlörmghs
  open and you catch a glimpse before they close it hastily)
  30
  
  99 :: AA LL II EE NN SS
  3. Alien on Man Romance (take alternative gender/species if
  no man is in the group, 1: Bromance! Character gets really
  along with one of the colonists … just match one of the colonists
  to one of your characters and see how they hit it off, until
  something alien and awkward happens (like a wrong
  understanding how human sexuality works), 2: She’s
  unnaturally cute and sexy … and she likes you! But then the
  first kiss happens and 3 tongues are one too many … make it
  happen!, 3: No foreplay, sexy alien comes hard at the next
  random character for a roll in the hay … what happens next is
  the equivalent to lying on a fresh heap of fish, 4: Experience the
  original alien mating ritual … it’s disturbing to begin with, but it
  doesn’t help seeing it done by a cute little girl)
  4. Alien on Woman Romance (take alternative gender/species
  if there are no woman in the group, 1: Courting her real nicely
  … for a piece of her pancreas and that will end with a drugged
  woman on a stretch and some very strange instruments, 2: Girl
  on girl action, the catch is that there is that alien custom where
  this sort of bonding is similar to getting married, 3: A real
  connection, this could be love. The alien will keep his identity
  secret for as long as possible. Until that one moment when he
  comes clear …, 4: She’s getting pregnant, doesn’t know how it
  happened or why it is growing so fast …)
  5. Strange Machines (1: You surprise a cute little robot doing
  […], it’ll see you, squeak (do your best R2­D2 impression here)
  and weasel away. Touching it results in 1d8 electricity damage
  and a Save versus Paralysis or being stunned for 1d6 rounds, 2:
  There is an invisible machine standing in the way doing […],
  playing around with it will cause a chain of events rational
  minds will have a hard time understanding, like reality
  31
  
  11 00 :: TT HH EE JJ UU NN GG LL EE
  paradoxes or weird deja vu and shit, 3: You just got teleported
  by accident and on your way to your new (random) jungle
  destination you see very strange things, 4: you enter a time
  distortion field (a side effect of some other technology) and
  experience a shit­load of weird scenes you can do nothing with
  unless you are on the drug (hint to the DM to use this to his
  advantage or describe a scene with dinosaurs))
  6. Characters just lost time, how much and what happened
  will be a mystery and maybe haunt them in their dreams
  (missing time is 1: 1d10 turns, 2: 1d6 hours, 3: 1d4 days, 4:
  1d3 weeks)
  The aliens are not affected by the drug and think the behavior
  around them is normal. If treated friendly, they’ll make for great
  (if very strange) allies. They won’t interfere directly with their
  surroundings but might help desperate characters with their
  technology for the occasional (weird!) favor.
  They have a very irrational fear of cute and plushy animal
  babies, panicky annihilating them with blaster shots, screaming
  uncontrollably.
  The Jungle
  I’ll mention the jungle here as an entity and it’s important to
  think about it that way. This is an impressive, complex and
  dense landscape combined with the sum of all the little
  inconveniences like having insects flying and crawling all over
  you or humidity and heat that should result in a very intense
  experience. It’s all quite alive and omnipresent, so if nothing
  else happens, the jungle is happening. This should be played to
  32
  
  11 00 :: TT HH EE JJ UU NN GG LL EE
  the hilt. Best method is to make some sort of jungle phenomena
  (noise, vistas, stuff like that) a thing every time the random
  encounter roll comes up “empty”. I’d also add regular weather
  rolls of sorts (whatever is convenient and fast, I roll 1d20 with
  the higher results meaning bad weather and the difference
  between consecutive rolls as indicator how the weather changes
  …).
  Another trick I found very useful was having some jungle
  ambient sound in the background. Birds and monkey sounds,
  the occasional silence or rain, it’s a very good way to make this
  felt. The Random Encounter table below will give you about
  160+ more ideas what could happen. Make heavy use of that!
  33
  
  11 11 :: RR AA NN DD OO MM EE NN CC OO UU NN TT EE RR SS
  Random Encounter Table (roll 1d20 + 1d8, have
  a d6 and a d4 handy):
  I
  found it very useful to roll not only what a group encounters
  (the d20), but also how imminent that encounter is (the d8).
  It’s like that, sometimes you run into something, sometimes you
  only find traces of it and even if nothing happens, there’s always
  something noteworthy about that, too. Always take what you
  get and run with it, as strange as it seems. There’s always a way
  to make it work. When in doubt, randomize further … This be­
  ing a jungle, I’d propose to use this table very often, like, every
  in­game/game hour (depending on where time is faster at any
  given moment) if they are travelling or if nothing else is hap­
  pening and 1d4­1 times when the group is camping or in a loca­
  tion (maybe prepare some of them in order before a session).
  Fill []­gaps spontaneuosly, use terrain (hexes) as flavor.
  1 – 4: Nothing significant happens, but there’s lots of jungle
  to look at (1: Beautiful bird singing, 2: Screaming monkeys in
  the trees, 3: Sudden silence, 4: Cries of pain in the distance
  (Tarzang, see p. 25), 5: Short burst of rain, 6: Annoying insects,
  7: Impressive lakescape, with waterfalls and all that, 8: Hex­
  field vista (App. 1, determine direction with d8: 1 north 2 north­
  west 3 west 4 south­west 5 south 6 south­east 7 east 8 north­east))
  5: Signs of the Shroom (this is mainly Phase 2 stuff to scare
  the players (see The Drug for details), 1: An abandoned village
  with the corpses of some neglected elder people, 2: An area
  robbed clean of any fruits and trampled by what looks like the
  tracks of bare foot humans, 3: A group of animals working to­
  gether to build some sort of machine from earth, bones, stones,
  wood and spit, 4: A mushroom circle of the kind a druid
  34
  
  11 11 :: RR AA NN DD OO MM EE NN CC OO UU NN TT EE RR SS
  wouldn’t recognize, someone left offerings, 5: A battle field of
  sorts, lots of dead small animal, a mound that looks like
  something half­finished and insects crawling all over the place,
  6: The group observes the end of some sort of animal gathering)
  6: Harmless wildlife (add reaction roll where possible, inter­
  pret according to situation), (1: Playful and colorful birds, 2:
  Shy artiodactyls, 3: Cute little monkeys that […], 4: Something
  exotic, rare and magical! (lazy, I know) 5: Something big has
  come through here 6: Something died here and it was […], 7:
  regular animal traffic because […], 8: Bugs do something inter­
  esting)
  7 – 8: Same as 6, but drugged (d8 result same as under 6,
  drug effects might alter result, 1 in 6 chance that animal is in
  withdrawal right now, see p. 47)
  9: Small and poisonous (could be all kinds of beasties, but I’m
  thinking fucking SNAKES! here, 1: Just passes and shows dan­
  gerous colors 2: Drops on you DROPS ON YOU!!! 3: A victim of
  a poisonous bite and it happened […], 4: Make it creepy in day­
  light (nests, webs, make them fight or fuck, show videos, if you
  have them …), make it seek warmth at night (okay, the idea to
  wake up with a snake on your belly should be very creepy, too),
  5: Oh, look! A sweet little […]! Never mind, just got killed by
  [something small and poisonous], 6: There are spiders like
  that!? And it’s sitting where right now?!!! (sometimes they just
  look mean, in this case they are mean, too), 7: Poisonous ant
  territory … easy to avoid, dangerous to ignore!, 8: A brief en­
  counter with the petty god of [something small and poisonous],
  might be a statue, might be the real deal, 50/50 chance)
  35
  
  11 11 :: RR AA NN DD OO MM EE NN CC OO UU NN TT EE RR SS
  10: Same as 9, but drugged (d8 result same as under 9, drug
  effects might alter result (seems to have no effect on insects,
  for instance, remember that drugged and poisonous snakes are
  harvested by cannibals!), 1 in 6 chance that animal is in with­
  drawal right now, see p. 47)
  11: Medium sized and mean (any medium sized wild life that
  could be a danger or a nuisance for a group, mostly monkeys
  like baboons or chimpanzees, often appear in groups, but there
  are some predators, too, like jaguars, panthers or wolves, 1: A
  bear, just chilling, 2: Big cat, pissed and hungry, 3: territorial
  markings, 4: Territorial hunting (d6: 1 – wolves 2 – baboons 3 –
  bear 4 – jaguar 5 – panther 6 – BAM! Big Snake hunting … make
  it snappy, teeth, flying feces, growling or squeezing), 5: Mon­
  keys/apes out for some mean, harmless fun (more flying fe­
  ces), 6: Secretive native humanoid tribe (rare, naked, shy, d6: 1
  ­ dumb humans 2 – humorous goblins 3 – humble orcs 4 – gentle
  ogres 5 – wild dwarves 6 ­ fanatic elves), 7 – 8: Tarzang (p. 25))
  12 – 13: Same as 11, but drugged (d8 result same as under 11,
  drug effects might alter results, like all orangutans are selling
  drugs, Tarzang is always drugged, 1 in 6 chance that creature is
  in withdrawal right now, see p. 47)
  14: Big opinionated jungle beasts (1: Elephants, 2: Rhinos, 3:
  Hippos, 4: Fucking DINOSAURS!, 5 – 8: As 1­4 but drugged!,
  see p. 43/45 for alterations)
  15: Saber Tooth Tiger! Gets his own entry, because: Saber
  Tooth Tiger! (could be lions, too, if you are bored, 1 in 6 chance
  that creature is in withdrawal right now, 1: Scratch marks from
  HUGE claws on a tree, 2: A dead […], scary big claw and bite
  36
  
  11 11 :: RR AA NN DD OO MM EE NN CC OO UU NN TT EE RR SS
  marks, 3: Scene of a fight, lots of destruction, lots of blood and
  the fight is still on, going by the nearby noise, 4: Beast is just
  passing and has no interest in you, 5: Big cat wants to play with
  its food …. you are being hunted!, 6: Sneak Attack! Random
  victim gets the full charge, the rest is claws and teeth … sucks to
  be you, 7: Stoned kitty, sounds like big version of a cat in heat
  … otherwise quite cuddly, 8: This cat talks and she has a pro­
  position …)
  16: Carnies (1: The Clown (p. 18), 2: The Agile Twins (p. 18),
  3: The Fatal Pantomime (p. 19), 4: The Strongest Man Alive (p.
  19), 5: The Two­Faced Woman (p. 20), 6: The Magician (p. 22),
  7: Dead Circus Folk (p. 23), 8: Lost equipment, posters or other
  traces of them)
  17: Badly Disguised Alien Missionaries (1: You hear some
  very strange blubbering and guttural noise close by, it sounds
  37
  
  11 11 :: RR AA NN DD OO MM EE NN CC OO UU NN TT EE RR SS
  like a discussion of sorts, 2: This part of the jungle is extremely
  strange, as they took probes here and left it contaminated with
  radiation … poisoned animals, growth and/or colors are all
  wrong, things are cut or seem to lack something and all of it
  might be dangerous (1 in 4 chance per element you describe here),
  3: There is a big invisible object parked here, tinkering with it
  might trigger […] defenses (1 in 4 chance), 4: This is what ap­
  pears to be a very British tea party with tents and very civilized
  indeed, 5: Strange noise (with lights at night) in the sky, earth
  trembling, 6: A gruesome scene, some baby [animal] butchered
  and burned to pieces … an unnecessary and inhuman crime, 7:
  This must have been a camp of sorts at some point, but the
  strange things you’ll find … strange tracks and marks, toxic
  waste, radiation, you name it (see description in the Dramatis
  Personae section for inspiration), 8: They actually see one of
  their transport ships landing in the distance, make it magnifi­
  cent and scary!)
  18: Friendly Mushroom Pygmies (1: A (d4 for random color: 1
  – red, 2 – yellow, 3 – green, 4 – blue) mushroom person appears
  on a branch over a random character, runs towards one of them
  and tries to force himself into the mouth (see p. 28 for effects),
  2: A circle of colorful mushrooms with little tools and clothes,
  sit in a circle and sway gently, 3: A group of them appears and
  seeks help in their (non­violent) fight against the drug … but to
  find out what they want, you’d have to understand them first
  (most likely they want an artifact dismantled, see p. 43 to 46 for
  ideas), 4: You first hear cheering from somewhere, then you
  find a crater with lots of raw meat surrounding it and some
  sprinkled, now somewhat embarrassed mushroom pygmies …
  5: A mushroom elder has a very important message for you and
  it makes no sense, even if you understand it (see Appendix 5),
  38
  
  11 11 :: RR AA NN DD OO MM EE NN CC OO UU NN TT EE RR SS
  6: A procession of partying mushroom pygmies passes you …
  they seem to be in deep trance and are heading towards the
  holy […] , 7: Trojan mushroom pie. They will try to get eaten
  every way possible and on this occasion it’s a (giggling) pie lying
  on a tree stump and a pygmy offering it (take some other
  scheme if this comes up again), 8: You find a burned down
  pygmy camp and if you look closer, you’ll also find orangutan
  foot prints, cigar stumps and very young and squeaky sprouts
  (this happens all over the place))
  19: Crazy Cannibals (1: It’s a giant pit trap! Save versus Wands
  avoids it, but there might be some cannibals nearby (1 in 3
  chance), 2: Ambush! Spears and huge masks, there are 3d12 of
  them with the intent to bind the characters to poles and carry
  them into camp for the cooking …, 3: You find one of their im­
  pressive bone totems … tempering with this makes the shaman
  aware of you and he will send a retrieving party to intercept, 4:
  Those fucking drums! They’ll do that for 1d6 days and each
  night it needs a Save versus Death Rays (minus number of nights
  with drums) to get a proper rest for that time, with all the neg­
  ative effects that might have (really tired characters, no healing,
  no spells …), 5: You surprise a group of children and woman
  bathing, butt­naked, cute and very hungry, 6: They have little
  holy places all over the place … this is one of them (random
  1d6: 1 – plateau, 2 – grove, 3 – cave, 4 – clearing, 5 – a shrine, 6
  – a temple), 7: There are actually two tribes close by … they are
  at war and you are now in the middle of it!, 8: Shaman seeks
  your help because of the drug problem ...)
  20: Gorilla Enforcers (they all come from the temple and have
  some business or another where they are met, they are ALWAYS
  stoned, 1: An automobile driven by an orangutan with big pro­
  39
  
  11 11 :: RR AA NN DD OO MM EE NN CC OO UU NN TT EE RR SS
  tective goggles, a cigar and some (3d6) panicked goblins in the
  back because that guy is driving really fast, breaks for nothing
  and honks a lot, 2: Partying group of goblin football hooligans,
  war paint, flags and what not (roll 1d4 for team: 1 – The Bloody
  Booms, 2 – The Harkenballers, 3 – The Vyky­Wraths, 4 – The 1856
  Suicides), 3: Scene of a battle (roll d6: 1 – a burned down canni­
  bal village, 2 – somewhere in the jungle, lots of craters, big and
  small, 3 – you just hear explosions and screams somewhere close, 4
  – goblin troop on its way to a fight, 5 – goblin troop coming from
  a fight they lost, bloody and real angry 6 – goblin troop coming
  from a fight they won, good mood and some souvenirs), 4: An unit
  chimpanzee ninjas passes you like shadows through the trees,
  you see one of them pausing in the open, mustering you with
  cold eyes … then it is gone, too, 5: Orangutan on a motorcycle
  with sidecar (full of drugs and Molotov cocktails) crossing your
  path in a distance, 6: Orangutan tries his sales pitch on the
  characters (roll 1d4: 1 – In the open but without speech, 2 – In
  the open, has speech and a trench coat, 3 – is really sneaky about
  it, 4 – It’s actually Jimbo Dean! (see Notable Characters p. 16)),
  7: A tank, there, that just happened (still a prototype, though),
  8: One of the Big Four (p. 11 onward) crosses your path (roll
  d4: 1 – King Kollossus, with lots of addicted … on his heels, 2 –
  Mincy with 1d6 of his best ninjas, 3 – Bling Kong, carried around
  by some (like, 20) goblins, 4 – The Brain in his giant, flying con­
  traption))
  40
  
  11 22 :: TT hh ee DD rr uu gg
  The Drug
  T
  he main star of this setting is a mushroom that found ways
  to spread itself by using psychedelics. It’s a bit like, but way
  more complex than, fungi controlling ants (which is a real thing,
  check for the fungal parasite called Cordyceps in an internet
  near you). The fungus alters body chemistry and behavior of its
  hosts with very different, partly random effects between species.
  Although expansion seems to be the main motivation for the
  thing, it’s unclear if there is more behind it than that. If it has a
  plan, it is most certainly to alien to understand or make sense of
  … which is my way of saying, knock yourselves out. It certainly
  shows some strange patterns, like championing simians (all but
  baboons, which just change their butt color when stoned), using
  elves as some sort of RAM space and introducing technology to
  the setting that is akin to that of a 1920 Europe. Or that goblins
  explode and snakes produce another drug with their poison
  when hooked on the mushroom. Or that insects somehow are
  not affected, even reacting aggressive towards those infected.
  This is currently Phase 1 of the fungal expansion plan, which is
  establishing a base. Creatures build artifacts and keys for the
  mushroom all over the place and the gorillas are gathering re­
  sources, recruiting an army and building some more strange
  machines at their base, a ruined temple.
  No one knows what Phase 2 will be or if there’s a Phase 3.
  Whatever is behind all this will be something you’ll have to de­
  cide if and when this runs amok in your campaign. Have fun
  with that!
  41
  
  11 22 :: TT hh ee DD rr uu gg
  Distribution
  The drug is harvested as a blue syrup the Fungus under the
  temple is secreting. Some of it is dried and distributed a powder,
  some of it pure. The syrup will be found on weaponry used by
  the gorilla enforcers. Smoking the fungal growth some animals
  show, will lead to some minor hallucinations but nothing else
  (not even an addiction). It’ll also let you talk to the dreaming
  elves. Some rub the syrup on their eyeballs to enhance the
  effect.
  This stuff is pretty much tasteless and could be in anything. All
  I’m saying is, never take a banana from an orangutan …
  Every consumption will last 40 hours minus the user’s Constitu­
  tion. After that the first signs of withdrawal show (­1 on
  everything per hour of withdrawal to a maximum of ­5, light
  headache, unrest and so on).
  Names of the Drug
  There’ll be several names for the drug. Some call the powder
  “White Ape” and “Monkey Madness” has been used, too. The
  syrup is often referred to as “Nectar of the Gods” and “Hurly” for
  some reason. The connection between the drug and the fungus
  is as of yet unknown.
  The snake poison drug is called “Durst”.
  42
  
  11 22 :: TT hh ee DD rr uu gg
  Various special effects
  Let’s get a bit more concrete here:
  Plants and insects are not affected by the drug, insects have a 1
  in 8 chance to react very aggressive towards those infected
  (swarms, fight to the death).
  Poisonous reptiles show no change in behavior or appearance,
  but will produce another, very addictive drug instead of poison
  (Save vs. Poison or be addicted, consumers are euphoric (get +2
  to Charisma) and analgetic (immune to pain and keeps going
  instead of dying with a successful Save vs. Death until either
  running out of drug or getting as much negative damage as
  there were hp), so it’s just like heroin in effect and addiction,
  but you also gain a level [1d4] spell slot and the white of your
  eyes changes to a light green).
  Normal reptiles on the Hurly will enter dreams if eye contact is
  made for too long (Save vs. Paralysis for this happens). A snake
  or lizard in your dreams is an unpleasant thing to have, as
  they’ll make people sleep walk, speak prophecies (50 + level %
  truth) and kill infants. An exorcism of the reptile is possible, but
  it will exit your dreams, as strange and painful as it may sound,
  through one of your bodily orifices.
  Non­sentient mammals have one of 4 possible symptoms when
  encountered (roll d4): 1 – immense and magnificient fungal
  growth on body that functions as key, 2 – this creature will talk
  to the group, telling (harmless) secrets of one random character
  because they are somehow connected to their subconscious and
  merely canalize what they find … it’s annoying and they won’t
  43
  
  11 22 :: TT hh ee DD rr uu gg
  stop as long as they are in sight (or alive), 3 – develop a group
  conscious and build a [bio­mechanic Phase 2 artifact] out of
  hair, bones, earth, slime and whatever they think useful for the
  fungus (will sniff out and try to steal magic items, for instance),
  4 – tell a random character how he or she will die and disappear
  laughing manically.
  Predators will be (1d4): 1 – very cuddly, 2 – developing thorns
  (for Phase 2), 3 – on an eating binge and very aggressive (and
  being selective enough about it to speak of targeting … another
  scheme of the shroom?), 4 – lost, as in, they don’t know what or
  where they are … until the drug wears off! Predators won’t at­
  tack other using creatures (which results in a ­4 on reaction rolls
  when encountering clean potential prey).
  Sentient mammals like Simians get great benefits from using.
  Gorillas get stronger and way more intelligent, super powers are
  a plus. But the rest get much of the same. Baboons, strangely
  enough, will show no symptoms like that and will get blue butts
  instead.
  A word on humans
  Humans, on the other hand, get dominated and the strong im­
  pulse to bring everything of worth to the temple (THE SOURCE,
  so to say) to get their next kick as soon as they are hooked.
  Every time they use, they’ll have to make a Save vs. Poison or
  get seriously into the Hurley (that is, addicted). The mushroom
  will grand them some benefits, though.
  Some light ESP is the first kick. Characters will find it very easy
  to read the feelings of others (always) and sometimes even their
  44
  
  11 22 :: TT hh ee DD rr uu gg
  intentions (Wisdom check determines). This will grant them
  +1d4 to attacks and to AC (roll new every time they use the
  drug). They lose half their Intelligence (rounded down) when
  high and are really relaxed in general (pretty much like the ba­
  boons but without the extra butt color).
  1 in 10 times people also develop some special powers con­
  nected to their character and abilities. But they are always
  flawed (like in the examples above, check the circus folk, for in­
  stance).
  1 in 20 will nest in an artefact, slowly growing into a symbiotic
  existence with it (Phase 2, no one knows why). Cutting
  someone out of such a connection will kill them if they are more
  than 2 weeks in it, after more than a week it’s a Save vs. Death
  to that effect (successful Save keeps a character alive but the
  cutting will reduce hp to zero). Cutting someone out there in
  the first week will do the number of days in d4 damage.
  Eating human meat somehow dampens the shroom influ­
  ence on the human mind, but only for a short time. This is why
  the cannibals are aware of the drug and fight against it as best
  as they can (between their own feuds).
  A word on Humanoids
  Elves will have to make a Save vs. Paralysis or fall into a coma
  which allows their soul access to the connected mushroom
  dreamworld. They have no power there and are afraid.
  Dwarves will permanently increase their Strength by 1 and re­
  duce their hp, also permanently, by 1d6 every time they use. If
  45
  
  11 22 :: TT hh ee DD rr uu gg
  their hp ever sink to zero because of this, they effectively turn to
  stone. They also won’t get addicted, so it’s their own decision.
  Makes them feel closer to home, though, and they get really
  sentimental when using (singing sad songs and all that jazz).
  Halflings turn feral, but not addicted (feels great letting loose,
  though). Their Intelligence gets permanently reduced by 1 every
  time they use the drug, they also get very hairy and lose the
  ability to use anything but clubs and fists and slings. Therefore
  they also gain permanently +1 to attack and damage. If this
  reaches +5, however, they have to make a Save vs. Wands to
  avoid going full Neanderthal. That Save is necessary every time
  they take the drug thereafter (not going beyond +5, though).
  Goblins, Orcs and Bugbears basically react the same. All will
  get addicted fast. Constant usage makes them worship the mes­
  sengers of the shroom. It’s unknown if orcs and bugbears will
  also explode when hit with pointy stuff, as there are no known
  cases of those species using yet. But it might very well be just as
  spectacular.
  The effects on other species and races is totally untested as of
  yet. Giants will pretty much react to this like humans do.
  A word on everyone else
  Magical beasties are special cases and the more powerful they
  are, the more likely they’ll resist the shrooms temptations.
  Which makes them enemies, so gorillas fighting a dragon is a
  distinct possibility (and there is a slim chance of dragons with
  the Ruins Generator). If you get to a point where you have to
  decide about something like that, you’ll have to decide what’s
  46
  
  11 22 :: TT hh ee DD rr uu gg
  best for your campaign and go from there.
  Getting clean
  Seven days cold turkey will do the trick. But withdrawal is a
  bitch and will have you try anything to get the next fix (players
  won’t have any control over their characters during that time,
  unless they are really willing to play the part). Creatures will kill
  and know nor friend not foe and only The Shroom. There might
  be some permanent damage involved and some of the side ef­
  fects will need some hefty magical healing. If the disadvantages
  are somehow healed, the advantages are lost, too, of course.
  There is a 1 in 20 chance per week of usage (up to 13 in 20)
  that a user will keep some sort of permanent damage from the
  addiction (1d4: 1 – random and whirly fungal growth on the
  47
  
  11 22 :: TT hh ee DD rr uu gg
  48
  body, 2 – heavy reaction to alcohol, including foaming and a
  seizure, 3 – insects are pestering you ALL THE TIME, 4 – a
  strange illness weakens the user to half his Constitution).
  Getting hooked on the Shroom again is so much easier, too,
  once you are clean. Getting an opportunity to use will need a
  Save vs. Paralysis or the opportunity is taken. Save vs. Poison to
  avoid addiction (if one is allowed) will be ­4.
  The Shroom and Magic
  The Shroom taps into the same source as magic does, but in­
  stead of using it to alter reality, it uses magic to communicate
  and express itself. A little bit of that happens when intelligent
  minds get addicted to it and what it'd be fair to say that humans
  (and humanoids) under the influence not just lose half their in­
  telligence, they actually give it to the Shroom instead.
  What the Shroom does with half a brain is totally up to the
  DM (and as illustrated with the effects above), but what it does
  with a brain full of magic, well, that deserves a few words. An
  easy rule of thumb here is to allow an INT check (with the re­
  duced value, of course) to see if the character is able to cast and
  if they fail the check within the margin of the reduction due to
  the influence, the Shroom takes over the spell, does with it
  what's in his best interest (DM decision), remembers it and even
  shares it ... Simians might suddenly start casting it, too.
  Where to go from here?
  So what is the mushroom building in the jungle? What is it
  planning to do with those strange artifacts? Weapons of mass
  
  11 22 aa :: TT hh ee EE nn dd
  49
  destruction? An antennae? How is it defeated? All good ques­
  tions and you should answer them for your campaign as you see
  fit. This is, after all, nothing more than an accessory for you as a
  DM to entertain yourself and your players with and should,
  therefore, be as flexible as possible.
  That being said, I have to add that you need to be aware of the
  implications this whole affair could have on a campaign world,
  least of all would be finding the answer to the question if the
  characters would be willing to become cannibals in the world
  wide war against an advancing gorilla drug empire.
  Either way, it’d be good to have an idea or at least a plan B if
  everything goes south. I’d probably do something based on the
  Stoned Ape Theory (which is basically saying humanity is where
  it is right now because at some point, far away in the past, our
  ancestors started consuming psychedelics and got some weird
  ideas …), with the new mushroom being a visiting relatives or a
  parent looking for the child it lost all those thousands of years
  ago or a mating partner, looking for the original shroom to get
  laid (or something).
  But that’s just me. Go where you want with this. I mean it. This
  could alter your campaign world if it isn’t stopped or it could
  just be a strange entity building a receiver to see the latest epis­
  ode of whatever mushrooms watch …
  
  Please read this information first:
  Monkey Business ended up being huge. So huge, in fact, that I had to split the 
  result into the five different files you found in this package together with the
  document you are reading just now. I felt it deserved a few words how to work 
  all this. Have fun!
  Navigation & Printing
  The two biggest files are Monkey Business (Part 1) proper and the Appendices 
  (Part 2). Most pdf-viewers will already help you navigating them somewhat, but I
  added hyperlinks to make it all a little bit more convenient. The table of 
  contents are linked to the relevant chapters and to get back, you just have to 
  click on one of the headers. Easy as that.
  The pdfs are done with the Print on Demand versions in mind, so all of them are 
  best viewed on a screen with a dual page spread, starting with the first page on
  the right.
  The Cheat Sheets are relatively straight forward, don’t have that many pages and
  don’t really need hyperlinks. But you should print them out anyway, because this
  is where the procedural part of MB comes to life. Those pages are formatted as 
  A5, but are just as easily printed on A4, which I’d recommend, since more space 
  to write stuff down is always a good thing.
  You’ll need the Jungle & Hex-Field Cheat Sheets just once. But you’ll end up 
  with quite a few villages and ruins, how many of those you’ll actually prepare 
  in the beginning is up to you, but I’d recommend preparing at least the ones in 
  the hex-field the characters are starting in and maybe the surrounding hex-
  fields, too. It’s also always possible to just use copies of the pdfs to write 
  in digitally, I just prefer to work with the printed versions.
  There are two weblinks in Part 1 & 2, one to my blog (The Disoriented Ranger) 
  and one to Mark’s blog (Dust_Pan_Games). I found that it heavily depends on the 
  program you use to view the pdfs if they work or not. If they don’t work, you 
  could just copy/paste the addresses into your web browser.
  Adventure & DIY
  Part 1 is the adventure part, the Appendices are the procedural part. The one 
  will give you an impression of the setting, a Random Encounter Table and all the
  NPCs in the area, the other will help you generate a sandbox full with little 
  toys like cannibal villages, ruins and jungle treasures.
  How much you use of that is totally up to you, of course. I believe that the 
  amount of material you’ll end up with if you use it all, will offer enough 
  material for a short campaign. But it’ll also mean that you’ll have some of the 
  leg work, as this provides “just” the tools (most of the time). So if you are 
  looking for an adventure where all the preparation needed is done for you, this 
  is not it. 
  I recommend using at least the Jungle and the Jungle Treasure Generators. The 
  Village Generator is lots of fun, so you could give that a shot, too. The Ruins 
  Generator is somewhat more involving, but the results are worth it, imo. And 
  even if you end up using nothing of all that, you should still take a look at 
  the dungeon in part 2 (the gorilla HQ), since that is already done and ready.
  Support
  There’ll be plenty in the near future, I hope. If there are any problems, either
  with the pdfs or the procedures or with the rules and rulings, feel free to 
  write me an email (jens.durke@gmail.com). I’ll also showcase the procedural part
  on the blog (http://the-disoriented-ranger.blogspot.de) and collect all that for
  easy access, so dropping by every now and then might be a good idea :)
  
SOURCE: textdata/thevault/Labyrinth Lord/Labyrinth Lord Adventures & Settings/Monkey Business (LL)/Monkey Business (LL).pdf