TEXT:  
   
  Owlbears 
  by 
  Samuel Clemens
  
  Foreword by Mrs. Clemens 
   
  To whom it may concern, 
  Please remove all copies of the "Owlbears" game by Samuel Clemens from 
  your website at once! 
  I don't know who put Sammy up to this nonsense, but I hope you're very 
  ashamed of yourselves!  This "game" of his has caused a lot of injury, hurt 
  feelings, and general mayhem in our home.   
  It's very irresponsible for you to encourage young boys to act out in this 
  manner, and I only hope no other children have read this material and 
  thought it sounded like a fun game.  IT IS NOT! 
  I don't think a game involving wild horseplay, breaking furniture, and multiple 
  bee stings is something you should be encouraging children to play!  These 
  “Role-Playing” games are a negative influence, and we've removed all of them 
  from our home, including all of the "Dragons & Dungeons" games we found 
  in Sammy’s brother’s room.  Good Riddance! 
  Please respect our wished and remove the Owlbears game from your website 
  immediately.  If you do not remove the game from the internet in 24 hours, 
  we will be contacting our Lawyer. 
   
  Sincerely, 
  Mrs. Clemens 
  
  Introduction 
   
  Owlbears is a game for a group of kids to play.  This 
  game is not for little babies because it is full of Action! 
  There are no stupid dice or boring pencils in this game, and 
  you don't need to listen to older brothers about when it's 
  yOUr turn to go.  It's always your turn to GO! 
   
  In the game of Owlbears you become a wild monster that 
  is half owl and half bear.  You get all of the powers of both 
  the bear and the owl, which makes you the best animal ever.  
  You need to train to use your powers and then explore the 
  woods to find even more powers.  These powers will help you 
  in battle, and then you can have a party.  
   
  Owlbears are outlaws and don't need to follow stupid rules.  
  OwLBeARs Has to be played in the backyard at first, but then 
  you can come Back inside the house!    
   
  
  Getting Started 
   
  Owlbears is a great game to play when you have friends over 
  at your house, maybe for a sleepover or birthday party.  It's 
  more fun with more kids, so you want to have a big group of 
  kids - the more kids the better.  Don't invite any sucky babies 
  or tattle-tales to play Owlbears though. 
   
  Owlbears are very powerful and everybody is afraid of them 
  and nobody trusts them because of their powers.  That means 
  you need to keep it a secret from your parents when you are 
  going to be playing Owlbears, at least until you get enough 
  power!  If parents find out they could make you come 
  inside before you are ready and play boring inside games 
  where you have to sit quietly at the table.   
   
  Owlbears never sit at tables because of their wings. 
   
  Make Owlbear wings with garbage bags.  Use holes in them 
  so you can put them on your arms.  They flap when you run, 
  and Owlbears need to RUN!  Later in the game you'll 
  get your claws - but don't do that yet or you might get in 
  trouble.  First you need to go into the woods and practice 
  your powers. 
   
  If you can, sneak a bag of candy with you before you go into 
  the woods.
  
  Here is a mask you can cut out and tape to your face. 
   
   
   
   
  
  Episode I:  Owlbear Forest 
   
  You and your friends are Owlbears and you are exploring the 
  woods behind the castle.  The castle has lots of guards so 
  you can't go in there until you get enough powers.  First you 
  need to take the Owlbear oath and practice your beginner 
  Owlbear powers. 
   
  The Owlbear Oath 
  An Owlbear is powerful like a bear and can 
  fly like an owl. 
  Owlbears are the real kings of the forest 
  and nobody is the boss of them. 
  An Owlbear is not afraid of anything, even 
  getting into trouble. 
  Owlbears are not sucky babies and don't tell 
  on other Owlbears. 
  RAaAaWwRrRr-HooOoOoOo 
   
  Everyone who takes the oath can have some candy. 
   
  Mission:  Fly through the forest like an Owlbear.  Tell the 
  other kids what your Owlbear codename is.  Practice your 
  Owlbear power move.  Then you can go on an adventure 
  for a while that is better than any stupid adventure with dice 
  and pencils. 
   
  Once you finish your adventure you can have more candy.  
  If you need extra candy for your power move, yOU can have it, 
  but you have to call it first. 
   
  
  Episode II: Ninjas 
   
  Once you know all your Owlbear powers and you get tired of 
  that, you need to go on a mission and that means being a 
  ninja.  The Owlbears have to Sneak back up to the castle and 
  go into the Garage where they keep all of the stuff you can 
  use for Powers.  
   
  The Owlbears need to find things and bring them back to the 
  woods.  Good ideas are to get the trampoline and the hockey 
  sticks, but don’t get caught by parents or the Game could be 
  OVER!!! 
   
  Owlbears are powerful but they can also be Quiet like a 
  Ninja.  If your Owlbear has Ninja Invisibility and he 
  needs to have some candy to turn invisible, that’s Ok. 
   
  Once you get back to the woods, all the Owlbears have a 
  feast to celebrate their victory! 
   
  
  Episode III: Training 
   
  Owlbears are the strongest animals, but they need to 
  practice to stay strong.  This means they have to fight each 
  other sometimes - but only for pretend.  They can't hit too 
  hard or they have to go home. 
   
  Teams:  The two Owlbear leaders get to pick teams.  These 
  teams take turns jumping off the trampoline and flying at 
  the other team.  This helps them learn about flying and 
  battle.  If someone gets hurt and starts to cry, make sure 
  you tell them about the Owlbear oath again. 
   
  If they are still acting like a baby, you can tell them that 
  Owlbears gang up on kids who tell. 
   
  After the practicing, the Owlbears have another feast!   
  
  Episode IV: Better Powers 
  Now the Owlbears are ready to get more powers.  Some 
  of the powers they can get are: 
   
  Claws  
  Put hockey sticks inside the garbage bags and hold one in 
  each hand.  Now you have really long wings that are also 
  claws.  When you run you feel like you could FLY, and you can 
  practice hitting trees with your claws.  HARD! 
   
  Mud Bombs 
  Owlbears can catch fish in the creek, and also pick up 
  handfuls of mud and throw it at bad guys, or sometimes 
  just for practicing.  You can put more mud bombs in your 
  shirt to use for later. 
   
  Owl Call 
  An Owlbear can scream like an Owl and scare all the other 
  animals and bad guys.  It works better if you are on the 
  trampoline and you get more power if you eat some 
  Candy first. 
   
  Bees 
  You could probably use one of your garbage bag wings on 
  the end of your hockey stick to put the bag under the nest, 
  and the other hockey stick to knock the bees into your bag 
  and keep them for later.  Now you've got the most 
  power an Owlbear can have! 
  
  Episode V: The Castle 
   
  Bees can be hard to control and you might need to get out of 
  the forest FAST!   
   
  If there are too many cry babies now, the game might be 
  almost over anyway.  The guards will probably come running 
  out of the castle and try and stop the Owlbears and start 
  sending kids home. 
   
  That means the Owlbears need to attack the castle and 
  win the game! 
   
  Winning the Game 
   
  Owlbears win the game if they can take the dice away from 
  any other stupid games that are being played inside the 
  castle and throw them out the window.  An Owlbear can 
  use any of their powers in the house, and is not afraid of 
  getting in trouble. 
   
  Next Episode 
   
  Nicholas Tesla 
  
SOURCE: textdata/thevault/Collections/Kid Friendly/3. Rules Lite Collection/Owlbears.pdf