TEXT:  
   
  Shadowrun 
  April 1, 2012 
  STREET LEGENDS: HOME EDITION 
  There are no bad ideas 
  There are just ideas that need extra love 
  When developing Shadowrun, 
  we come across all sorts of 
  ideas. Good ideas. Crazy 
  ideas. Ideas guaranteed to 
  make us require yet more 
  expensive psychotherapy 
  bills. Yet we don’t believe 
  there are bad ideas—only 
  ideas that need the right 
  outlet. Street Legends: Home 
  Edition is our way of 
  providing a place for those 
  ideas that, in normal 
  circumstances, leave us 
  shaking our heads in 
  confusion and/or despair. 
  Of course, when you run with some of the 
  revolutionary ideas such as the ones contained in this 
  text, not everyone is going to want to be a part of that 
  process. Sometimes the people who don’t want 
  anything to do with it are folks like art directors and 
  layout guys. But we had a bold vision for this 
  product, and we decided, “Who needs them?” So the 
  designers of this product found volunteers for the 
  artwork contained herein, or in extreme cases did it 
  themselves. And the layout was done with a 
  Microsoft Word template, and I think we will all 
  agree that it looks as awesome as any product ever. 
  But enough about what this is. Let’s dive into the 
  amazing concepts of Street Legends: Home Edition 
  Home Edition brings the DIY aesthetic to Shadowrun 
  Featuring: 
  King: 
  Sakura Kunoichi: 
  The McCorsican Triplets: 
  Skippy Goodheart: 
  A little less conversation, a little more 
  action. Page 2 
  A dwarf, an elf, and a troll walk into a 
  bar. And beat the living snot out of 
  you. Page 4 
  Forget about the ninja elf stripper 
  part—what the hell is going on with 
  Plan 9? Page 9 
  Isn’t cynicism and cold-hearted 
  brutality just so 2050-2074? Page 12 
  Because doing things the right way can be far 
  too constraining. 
  Writing: Jason M. Hardy, Steven “Bull” 
  Ratkovich, R.J. Thomas, Thomas Willoughby 
  Art: Kat Hardy, Patrick Sullivan, R.J. Thomas, 
  Thomas Willoughby 
  
   
   
  Street Legends: Home Edition 
  April 1, 2012 
  2 
  Posted by: Slamm-0! 
  Let’s face it; there are some people who can’t help but stand out 
  no matter what they do. Call it charisma, call it presence, call it 
  style, call it whatever you want. In King’s case, I don’t know 
  WHAT to call it. But whatever name you give it, King is the 
  kind of person everyone remembers. Whether they want to or 
  not.  
  What stands out about King isn’t just that he’s one of the 
  biggest and toughest fucking orks on the planet (just shy of a 
  troll in size and strength), or the fact that he can take off an 
  opponent’s left testicle at a hundred yards with his Super 
  Warhawk (I’ve seen him do it, and he was pissed off afterward 
  because he said he was aiming for the right one). Maybe it’s the 
  fact that he thinks he’s the reincarnation of an ancient singer 
  from the twentieth century—none other than Elvis himself. No, 
  I’m not kidding—this guy is certifiably nuts. I think the only 
  reason he’s still breathing is because he’s one of the better street 
  sams out there.  
  Out of curiosity, I decided to look into King during a 
  particularly boring Seadogs game on the ‘trid. They were 
  already up seven to three in the bottom of the ninth with a 
  runner on first and second with only one out and their best 
  hitter, Sven “Mjionir” Ghjehoepshson, walking to the plate. I 
  wasn’t worried because good old’ Sven was already batting .375 
  with 60 HRs and it was only mid-season. He was also slotting 
  KING: Breaking hearts, collecting paychecks, 
  taking some things way too personally 
  Jose Conseco, and I'm talking about prime-era Canseco, before 
  all that stupid controversy about steroids, which I think was a 
  total witch-hunt back then. And, okay, yeah, to be honest, it was 
  most likely before people were talking about steroids, not before 
  Canseco was using, but that's neither here not there, right? 
  Anyway, Sven didn’t really NEED Canseco but the damn 
  Seadog management thought it would be a good idea to…  
  /new poll initiated by sysop: All those in favor of me deleting 
  the next 3.6 mp of baseball ranting?/ 
  /Poll results: 100% for, 1% against./ 
  /3.6 mp deleted by sysop/ 
  > We now return you to the piece, with the hope that 
  Slamm-0! intends to get to some actual material at 
  some point.  
  > FastJack 
  …and that’s why he walks to a limp! Anyway, like I said, I was 
  bored and started to think about this run I did last season. So, I 
  looked up what I could about King, and found absolutely zip. 
  Seriously—nada. Not a damn thing. He has a decent rep, and 
  there was a little bit of anecdotal information going back to 
  about ’68, but before that it was a black hole. A lot of people 
  know of him, but no one seems to know much about him.  
  Continued… 
  
   
   
  Street Legends: Home Edition 
  April 1, 2012 
  3 
  The first time I saw King was when he 
  was brought on as a pinch hitter when a 
  team’s normal sammie had gotten 
  pinched for assault by KE. Total bad 
  luck, BTW. So, they needed a 
  replacement, and they asked King to fill 
  in. O-M-fucking-G. We met with the 
  Johnson at Cuppa’ Joe’s outside of 
  Tacoma. At exactly five minutes before 
  the meet, in walks this ork with jet-black 
  hair that added several centimeters to 
  his already two-plus meter frame. He 
  was wearing a white synthleather armor 
  jacket with sequins, white synthleather 
  pants, and large-frame mirrorshades 
  (also sequined), and he packed a huge-
  ass Ruger on his hip. He asked the 
  dwarf behind the counter for a fried 
  peanut-butter and banana sandwich 
  (tried one—not bad, actually) and when 
  he got it, he told counter-guy “Thank 
  ya. Thank ya vurry much.” He didn’t so 
  much eat the sandwich, as inhale it. 
  Hey, nothing wrong with that—I take 
  down baskets of chili-cheese fries just as 
  quickly. 
  > King’s fanatical about his peanut 
  butter and banana sandwiches, and 
  it's best to stay out of his way 
  when he wants one. I’ve seen him 
  beat people into a pulp when they 
  do so. He even has “FPBB 4EVR” 
  tattoed on his fingers between the 
  first and second knuckles.  
  > Bull 
  Wasn’t much to tell other than that to 
  tell about the meet, or the run for that 
  matter. We got in, got the paydata, and 
  got out. We ran into a bit of trouble on 
  the way out when a sec-goon walked 
  out of the john at the wrong time. He 
  tried to hit me with a stun-baton, but 
  King was suddenly there. I—well, I 
  can’t describe his fighting style. I don’t 
  even know if it is one. He somehow 
  blocked the guard’s punches and kids 
  with some kind of hip-gyrating, arm 
  flailing motion. And I’m not a martial 
  arts expert, but I’m pretty sure that’s not 
  exactly a style, it was more like a … 
  combat seizure. King ended the fight 
  with a swift kick to the guard’s groin 
  and a cry of “WHO-HA!” 
  I didn’t see King again for a few months 
  until some damn yaks shot up my 
  favorite sports bar, so I had to slum it at 
  some dive near downtown to watch the 
  Seadogs and Tigers game in the 
  playoffs. The bar was ok, the nachos 
  were at least edible, but I had the bad 
  luck to be there on karaoke night. So I’m 
  trying to watch the game and can’t 
  because asshole after asshole keeps 
  butchering rock, country, and even 
  bluegrass “classics.” I was about to hack 
  into the DJ’s system and re-write the 
  music file protocols to play nothing but 
  “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” when I 
  stopped dead in my tracks. Just as I was 
  about to launch my Louisville Slugger 
  attack program, I looked across the bar 
  to see none other than King taking the 
  stage. Knowing what kind of shot he is, 
  I thought it best to back off, because if 
  he was as fanatical about singing as he 
  was about his sandwiches, I wanted to 
  keep my boys intact. Now, I don’t know 
  what the hell happened after that 
  because I actually watched him perform 
  Elvis’ “Hound Dog,” “A Little Less 
  Conversation,” and “Jailhouse Rock.” 
  And I was totally blown away. I even 
  forgot about the game for a while and 
  missed the Tigers upset the Dogs in the 
  bottom of the ninth with a grand slam. 
  > Mark the calendar, someone got 
  Slamm-0! to forget about baseball. 
  > Hard Exit 
  So that’s pretty much the story. I wish I 
  had more, but I haven’t run into King 
  since the playoffs. I tried to buy him a 
  few drinks afterword, but after his set, 
  he just left the building. Crazy. Still, if 
  you need someone to back you up on a 
  run, you could do worse than King.  
  > Anyone know if he has any ties 
  to that Church of Elvis, which, I 
  remind everyone, is a Thing That 
  Exists? 
  > Snopes 
  > Not officially, but he has been 
  seen with one of their higher-ups, 
  a slag called Hound Dog. Rumor 
  has he’s done some odd jobs for 
  them and has attended some of 
  their revivals. He did retrieve one 
  of their “ancient artifacts” last 
  year, a velvet painting depicting 
  “the King” when he performed in 
  Vegas. And he did it for free.  
  > Bull 
   
  (Continued) 
  KING 
  Male ork 
   
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  5.8 
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  1 
   
  Condition Monitor Boxes (P/S): 
  11/11 
  Armor (B/I): 8/10 
  Active Skills: Artisan (singer) 6, 
  Athletics skill group 3, Blades 3, 
  Computer 6, Clubs 4, Data Search 6, 
  Disguise 1, Dodge 4, Electronics skill 
  group 4, First Aid 3, Infiltration 6, 
  Influence skill group 5, Intimidation 4, 
  Palming 3, Perception 3, Pilot Ground 
  Craft 2, Pistols (Ruger Warhawk) 6 
  (+2), Shadowing 5, Unarmed Combat 
  (Testicle Kicking) 6 (+2) 
  Knowledge Skills: Elvis Presley 108, 
  Sandwiches (Fried Peanut Butter and 
  Banana) 20 (+2), Sequined Jumpsuits 
  13, Feeling Blue 16, Jailhouses 15, 
  Hound Dogs, Blue Suede Shoes 19 
  Qualities: Distinctive Style, First 
  Impression, Guts, Toughness, King of 
  Rock and Roll, Martial Arts (Style: 
  Hunka-hunka-burnin-love) 
  Augmentations: Voice modulator 
  Gear: Armored sequined jumpsuit, 16 
  doses bliss, 22 doses jazz, 25 doses 
  novacoke, sunglasses [Rating 2, w/ 
  smartlink, vision enhancement 2], 87 
  doses zen 
  Weapons: 
  Ruger Super Warhawk (“Priscilla”) 
  [Heavy Pistol, DV 6P, AP –1, SA, RC 
  —, 6(cy), w/ advanced safety (basic w/ 
  biometric lock), melee hardening, 
  skinlink, smartlink] 
  
   
   
  Street Legends: Home Edition 
  April 1, 2012 
  4 
  Vital Stats 
  Timothy McCorsican 
  Age: 18 
  Height: 2.62 m 
  Weight: 181 kg 
  Hair: Red 
  Eyes: Green 
  Gender: Male 
  Metatype: Troll 
  Awakened: No 
   
  Patrick McCorsican 
  Age: 18 
  Height: 1.83 m 
  Weight: 73 kg 
  Hair: Red 
  Eyes: Green 
  Gender: Male 
  Metatype: Elf 
  Awakened: No 
   
  Shaun McCorsican 
  Age: 18 
  Height: 1.32 m 
  Weight: 60 kg 
  Hair: Red 
  Eyes: Green 
  Gender: Male 
  Metatype: Dwarf 
  Awakened: Yes 
   
  Posted by: Plan 9 
  Cloning. Genetic manipulation. Murder. Treachery. And one 
  dragon’s quest to create the ultimate team of shadowrunners. 
  Today’s tale includes all of that, and more. I was originally 
  planning to post this to the Conspiracy Theories compilation, but 
  THE MCCORSICAN TRIPLETS: If you hurt one, 
  you hurt them all  
  decided to save it for one of the Street Legends posts 
  instead. It could go both ways, but since this is ultimately 
  about a shadowrunner (three of them in fact), I decided to 
  post this here. 
  > Great. Not this nonsense again. 
  > Snopes 
   
  > Now now. I have proof. Just because you refuse 
  to accept it doesn’t make it any less true. 
  > Plan 9 
   
  It first came to my attention in the early 60’s when I came 
  across a Shadowrunner named Mime. He was a physical 
  adept, an orphan, and a mute. Interestingly enough, he 
  looked identical to a wagemage I knew at Ares. I kept my 
  eye on Mime, and over the next couple of years he 
  encountered and began working with a decker named 
  Aurum (who was mute and communicated only through 
  the Matrix via a series of signs his icon would hold up) and 
  a tricked out cyberzombie named simply David (who was 
  likewise mute and had the mind of a child). Again, both of 
  these individuals could have been Mime’s twin. They 
  Continued… 
  
   
   
  Shadowrun 
  April 1, 2012 
  eventually ran afoul of a rigger named 
  Epoch who was determined to destroy 
  them all, and it was then that they 
  learned they were all clones of each 
  other, part of some top secret project to 
  create 
  the 
  ultimate 
  shadowrunning 
  team. 
  This project was tied to a biotech firm in 
  Cleveland called Quality Biotech. It 
  went out of business in 2050, and there 
  are only the vaguest references to what 
  could have been the cloning project, and 
  no mention of what happened to the 
  subjects. Mime and all of his clone 
  brothers suffered amnesia and have no 
  memories of anything before they were 
  12 years old, and while Epoch claimed 
  to know all the details of who created 
  them and why, he was killed before any 
  of that data was recovered, leaving them 
  to wonder. 
   
  > I worked with Mime and his crew 
  on a couple occasions. Strange 
  guys, but talented. 
  > Bull 
   
  Quality Biotech is a company shrouded 
  in mystery. The owner and CEO, David 
  Tewksbury, doesn’t exist. His data trail 
  prior to 2045 (the year the company was 
  founded) is a sham, and he simply 
  vanishes after the company closed in 
  2050. The few researchers I can find 
  records for that worked for the company 
  all died over the next few years in 
  accidents. It’s ownership is equally 
  dubious. On paper, it’s parent company 
  was Global Enterprises, an investment 
  firm that closed down in early 2051. 
  Global 
  Enterprises 
  was owned by 
  someone else, and so on. Doing a lot of 
  digging 
  through 
  multiple 
  shell 
  companies, eventually you come across 
  the 
  name 
  Darktooth 
  Enterprises. 
  Darktooth Enterprises, as some of you 
  are well aware, was one of several fronts 
  through which the late Dunklezahn 
  operated his Watcher network. 
   
  > I can confirm that Darktooth 
  Enterprises 
  was 
  one 
  of 
  Dunklezahn’s operations.  
  > Frosty 
   
  > So besides creating clone babies, 
  what else were they up to? 
  > Winterhawk 
   
  > Good question. It’s a miracle I 
  found this much. 
  > Plan 9 
   
  I found hints that there were several 
  other 
  groups 
  attempting 
  to 
  clone 
  runners around this same time period, 
  but haven’t found any concrete proof. In 
  2055, though, research seems to have 
  shifted. I found evidence that various 
  pharmaceutical and biotech companies 
  owned indirectly by the Big D began a 
  series of trials on women who were 
  seeking help with infertility. Boston, 
  Cleveland, Denver, Detroit, Newark, 
  Memphis, Seattle, and St. Louis were all 
  locations 
  where 
  these 
  trials 
  and 
  experiments were held over the next 
  few years. Few came to fruition, but in 
  2056 a young woman in Boston named 
  Moira McCorsican had been told she 
  was 
  unable 
  to 
  bear 
  children. 
  In 
  desperation she visited one of these 
  fertility clinics, became pregnant, and 
  nine months later gave birth to not one, 
  but three children named Timothy, 
  Patrick, and Sean. It appears at one 
  point she was actually pregnant with 
  quintuplets, but two of the fetuses 
  didn’t quintupled term. 
  > There have been a number of 
  “miracle” fertility drugs that have 
  been tested over the years. They 
  almost all have severe negative 
  side effects, though multiple births 
  is a common side effect. Whether 
  it’s a negative one or a positive 
  one is entirely subjective. 
  > Butch 
   
  > The red sun rises. 
  > Riser 
   
  > Riser, mate?  You feeling okay? 
  > Kane 
   
  > Yeah, I’m fine. Why do you ask? 
  > Riser 
   
  > I was working out of Cleveland 
  in ’56, and there was a fertility 
  clinic that got bombed. And I don’t 
  mean “explosion blew out some 
  windows and hurt or killed a couple 
  people," I mean bombed. As in 
  destroyed to the point where little 
  (Continued) 
  Timothy 
  Male troll 
  Despite being a troll, Timothy is the 
  smartest of the McCorscan triplets. 
  He frequently plays dumb, 
  however, and lets Shaun take the 
  lead on any discussion or 
  negotiation. He fell in love with 
  computers at a young age, and by 
  the time he was twelve was hacking 
  their school records to maintain 
  their grades. He’s usually shy and 
  reserved, and is the brother least 
  likely to start a fight, but can throw 
  down with the best of them when 
  necessary. 
   
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  1 (2) 
   
  Condition Monitor Boxes (P/S): 
  12/10 
  Armor (B/I): 12/10 
  Active Skills: Clubs 4, Computer 5, 
  Cybercombat (vs. Living Personas) 
  5 (+2), Data Search 5, Dodge 3, 
  Electronic Warfare 5, Etiquette 4, 
  Forgery 3, Hacking 5 (Exploit +2), 
  Hardware 3, Intimidation 4, 
  Perception 4, Pilot Ground Craft 2, 
  Pistols 3, Software 3, Unarmed 
  Combat 5 
  Knowledge Skills: Baseball 4, Beer 
  4, Corporate Politics 3, Matrix Chat 
  Rooms 3, Matrix Security 
  Procedures 5, Operating Systems 5, 
  Street Gangs 3 
  Languages: English N 
  Qualities: Allergy, Common 
  (Moderate): Soy, Codeslinger: Hack 
  on the Fly, Corsican Triplet*, 
  Photographic Memory, Poor Self 
  Control: Vindictive 
  Augmentations: Control Rig 
  
   
   
  Street Legends: Home Edition 
  April 1, 2012 
  6 
  was left of the entire building but 
  dust and tiny fragments. I don’t 
  know that they ever were able to 
  fully determine how many people 
  were killed because the bodies 
  were largely vaporized in the blast. 
  > Bull 
   
  Besides the miracle of childbirth, there 
  was another interesting side effect. Both 
  mother and father were human, as were 
  their entire family. The triplets that were 
  born, however, were not only human, 
  they were three different races!  The 
  mother gave birth to three boys, one a 
  dwarf, one an elf, and the last a troll.  
  The pregnancy was hard on the mother, 
  however. 
  She 
  was 
  under 
  doctor’s 
  supervision for the majority of the 
  pregnancy, and she didn’t survive 
  giving birth. 
   
  > Ok, I call bulldrek on that. 
  Human parents giving birth to 
  another 
  metatypes, 
  that’s 
  plausible. I’ve even met a pair of 
  brothers who were an elf and a 
  goblinized troll, but they weren’t 
  twins. I’m not an expert, but from 
  what 
  I 
  know 
  having 
  mixed-
  metarace twins like that should be 
  genetically impossible. 
  > Butch 
   
  > Impossible is a paradox, because 
  in this world nothing is truly 
  impossible. 
  > Man-of-Many-Names 
   
  The boys were raised normally, though 
  being a mixed-race family was tough on 
  them, and they faced a lot of racism and 
  intolerance from other kids their age. 
  It’s not much of a surprise that they 
  were frequently in trouble for fighting, 
  and 
  the 
  three 
  were 
  inseparable 
  throughout 
  their 
  childhood. 
  Their 
  father, a construction worker, died in an 
  accident at a job site a couple years ago, 
  and the boys were left to their own 
  devices. Considering how I started this 
  article off, it’s likely no surprise that the 
  boys became shadowrunners. Shortly 
  after their father passed, they were 
  approached by a young woman who 
  offered them their first run. It wasn’t 
  long before they were one of the 
  premier running teams in Boston. 
   
  > Rumor has it that Nadja Daviar, 
  or at least one of those look-alikes 
  she has running around, was their 
  sponsor. If they’re the result of one 
  of Dunkelzahn’s secret projects, 
  this isn’t much of a surprise. 
  > Thorn 
   
  > Ahh, the McCorsican Twins. 
  They’re a lot of fun. They’re good, 
  solid Irish boys. They love to fight, 
  they love to drink, and they’re 
  pretty simple and straightforward. 
  So long as you play it straight with 
  them, 
  you 
  can 
  trust 
  them 
  completely. I’ve worked with them 
  a couple times, and just recently 
  we did a couple jobs for Richard 
  Villiers, a sweet gig that has made 
  Boston a safe harbor for me for the 
  last 
  few 
  months. 
   
  The 
  boys 
  apparently do a lot of work for 
  NeoNET’s head honcho. 
  > Kane 
   
  > Yeah, that’s been fun. Don’t you 
  have some Azzie ships to sink or a 
  Renraku 
  HQ 
  to 
  blow 
  up 
  or 
  something?  I love running with 
  you, but my parents are starting to 
  get suspicious since you’re around 
  and bugging me every goddamn 
  day! 
  > /dev/grrl 
   
  > Hah!  I love Little Bit’s spunk. 
  Okay kid, I’ll lay off. You can finally 
  shoot straight, so that’s a plus. 
  Now you just need to learn the 
  phrase “short, controlled burst." 
  Anyway, 
  back 
  on 
  topic. 
  The 
  McCorsican 
  triplets 
  are 
  an 
  interesting bunch. Timothy, the 
  troll, is the team's hacker, and a 
  pretty good one at that. Patrick, 
  the elf, has some killer cyberware 
  and is fraggin’ fast. You don’t want 
  to go hand-to-hand with that kid. 
  The dwarf, Shaun, is a pretty wiz 
  mage, and he always has a flock of 
  elementals on call.  
  What makes them really dangerous 
  though is that they have a unique 
  ability. I don’t know if it’s some 
  (Continued) 
  SHAUN 
  Male dwarf 
  (alphaware), cyberears [Rating 4, 
  alphaware w/ audio enhancement 
  3, balance augmenter, damper, ear 
  recording unit, select sound filter 
  6, sound link, spatial recognizer], 
  cybereyes [Rating 4, alphaware w/ 
  eye recording unit, flare 
  compensation, image link, low-
  light vision, protective covers, 
  smartlink, thermographic vision, 
  vision enhancement 3, vision 
  magnification), data lock with 
  Encrypt (5), datajack (betaware), 
  dermal Plating (Rating 3, 
  Alphaware), sim module (hot-sim, 
  alphaware), sleep regulator, wired 
  reflexes (Rating 1, alphaware) 
  Gear: Armor jacket, 2 Fake SINs 
  (Rating 5, with licenses), commlink 
  (custom, Firewall 8, Response 6, 
  Signal 6, System 6, Attack 7, Black 
  Hammer 8, all other programs 
  Rating 6), subvocal microphone 
  Weapons:  
  Hammerli 620S [Pistols, DV 4P, AP 
  —, SA, RC 1, 6(c) with gas-vent 1, 
  smartlink]  
  Shaun discovered his talent for 
  magic at an early age, while 
  defending his brother Timothy 
  from some bullies who were 
  picking on the shy troll. He got 
  angry at the bullies and called 
  up a low-force bolt of lightning, 
  which scared the boys more 
  than it hurt them. He has the 
  typical dwarf stubbornness and 
  often unwilling to back down 
  from either a challenge or a 
  negotiation. As such, he acts as 
  the team's face, dealing with 
  their contacts and their Mr. 
  Johnsons. He is also the first to 
  throw a punch when things go 
  bad. 
   
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  Street Legends: Home Edition 
  April 1, 2012 
  7 
  kind of magic that Shaun does on 
  them or a side effect of being 
  twins. That’s what I used to 
  think. Now I’m thinking maybe 
  it’s something that was done to 
  them in the womb. Whatever the 
  cause, the triplets are incredibly 
  tough in combat, because they 
  seem to be able to distribute 
  damage between them. I saw 
  Patrick take a nasty shotgun blast 
  to the gut once, punched right 
  through his armor. Then the 
  wound partly healed, and Patrick 
  was back in the fray. I noticed a 
  bit later though that both Shaun 
  and Timothy were bleeding in the 
  same place, and I know neither 
  of 
  them 
  had 
  been 
  wounded 
  during the fight. I asked them 
  about it after, and while they 
  were a bit uncomfortable talking 
  about 
  it, 
  it 
  seems 
  to 
  be 
  something they’ve always been 
  able to do. 
  > Kane 
  > I’ve never seen magic that can 
  do that, but as Man-of-Many-
  Names 
  said, 
  nothing 
  is 
  impossible. 
  > Winterhawk 
  > Back up a step.  If one of 
  Daviar’s 
  clones 
  is 
  the 
  boys' 
  sponsor, 
  and 
  they 
  work 
  for 
  Villiers a lot, does that mean 
  Villiers and a Daviar clone have 
  something going on? 
  > Kay St. Irregular 
  I don’t have any hard evidence to 
  prove what was done to the children, 
  but with the clones I’m guessing they 
  were “pre-programmed” at an early 
  age to make them predisposed toward 
  certain “careers." Of course, the real 
  trick is how the magically active 
  clones were created. So far science 
  hasn’t been able to lock down exactly 
  what make makes the magically active 
  tick. They can test for it, though this 
  test still isn’t 100 percent accurate. But 
  they’ve not figured out how to tweak 
  the magic gene, so to speak. 
  The same goes for the metaracial 
  genes. So how did Dunklezahn’s 
  people manage to cause the various 
  fetuses to express as a different 
  metatypes? Or was that simply a 
  happy accident?  I don’t really know 
  for sure yet. The McCorsican Triplets 
  are the only success of these breeding 
  programs that I’ve been able to 
  uncover, but for many of the clinics 
  the records were destroyed or buried 
  when they shut down in ’57 following 
  Dunklezahn’s death. One interesting 
  thing I’ve discovered is that I’m not 
  the only one looking into these, and 
  whoever else is doing the digging, 
  they have a lot of resources at their 
  disposal and have kept me shut out. 
  For now. 
  > If Dunkelzahn’s people actually 
  figured one or both of those 
  genes out...that’s huge.  
  > Nephrine 
  > And incredibly dangerous. 
  > Winterhawk 
  I’ll upload the current proof to anyone 
  that’s 
  interesting, 
  and 
  I’ll 
  keep 
  following these trails as long as I can. 
  I’m especially interested to find out 
  why Dunklezahn was doing this, 
  though I can guess. Having custom-
  grown and -bred specialists acting as 
  your watchers or as special operatives 
  would be especially useful to anyone, 
  especially a dragon who likes to 
  meddle and get involved the way 
  Dunklezahn did. Likewise, I can see 
  why he was so careful to keep the 
  research hidden, as in the wrong 
  hands this could be dangerous. If 
  Dunkies people had figured out how 
  to flip on the magic or metatypes 
  genes, it’s probable they also knew 
  how to turn it off. And groups like 
  Humanis or the Neo-Luddites would 
  love to get their hands on something 
  like that. 
  > The Neo-Luddites?  I thought 
  they were just anti-technology. 
  What would they care about this? 
  > Slamm-0! 
  > 
  Most 
  of 
  the 
  Neo-Luddite 
  movement 
  is 
  also 
  incredibly 
  magiphobic. They’re not as vocal 
  (Continued) 
   
  Edg 
  Ess 
  Init 
  IP 
   
  3 
  6 
  7 
  1 
   
  Condition Monitor Boxes (P/S): 
  11/11 
  Armor (B/I): 8/6 
  Active Skills: Assensing 5, 
  Astral Combat 4, Blades 2, 
  Conjuring skill group 5, 
  Counterspelling 5, Dodge 3, 
  Influence Group 5, Perception 
  4, Pistols 3, Spellcasting 
  (Combat Spells) 6 (+2), 
  Unarmed Combat 5 
  Knowledge Skills: Baseball 4, 
  Boston Pubs 2, Corporate 
  Security Tactics 2, Gaelic 3, 
  Knight Errant Procedures 2, 
  Latin 3, Magic Background 3, 
  Magical Phenomena 3, 
  Whiskey 4 
  Languages: English N  
  Qualities: Addiction 
  (Moderate): Alcohol, Corsican 
  Triplet, First Impression, 
  Magician, Poor Self Control: 
  Vindictive, Sensitive System 
  Initiate Grade: 2 
  Metamagics: Masking, Shielding 
  Gear:   Armor jacket, 
  commlink [custom OS, 
  Firewall 8, Response 4, Signal 
  4, System 4, Basic+ Program 
  Suite], 2 fake SINs (Rating 5, 
  w/ licenses), mage sight 
  goggles, magic lodge (Rating 
  6), power focus (Rating 2), 
  spellcasting Focus (Combat 
  Spells, Rating 3), sustaining 
  focus (Illusion Spells, Rating 
  5), subvocal microphone 
  Spells: Armor, Ball Lightning, 
  as some of the other groups, 
  especially a few of the religious 
  groups, but they’re one of the 
  staunchest supporters of any 
  law that restricts or prohibits 
  magical use, and were the first 
  group to sponsor registration 
  for magical ability. 
  
   
   
  Street Legends: Home Edition 
  April 1, 2012 
  8 
   
  Chaotic World, Clout, Detect Enemies, 
  Detox, Fireball, Flamethrower, Heal, 
  Increase Reflexes, Invisibility, Levitate, 
  Lightning Bolt, Manaball, Manabolt, 
  Physical Barrier, Physical Mask, 
  Stunball, Stunbolt 
  Metamagic: (Initiate Grade 2) 
  Masking, Shielding 
  Bound Spirits: 2 spirits of air (Force 5, 
  2 services), 2 spirits of fire (Force 5, 2 
  services), spirit of man (Force 5, 3 
  services), spirit of water (Force 5, 1 
  service) 
  Weapons: 
  Katana [Blades, Reach 1DV 6P, AP -1] 
  PAtrick 
  Male elf 
  An elf, Patrick is the rash and frequently acts 
  without thinking. He has little patience for 
  planning, strategy, or negotiation. He’d rather be 
  in action, and gets bored easily. Shaun and 
  Timothy are frequently having to pull his hoop out 
  of one mess or another that he’s gotten into. 
   
  Male elf 
   
  B 
  A 
  R 
  S 
   
  5 
  6 (9) 
  4 (7) 
  5 (8) 
   
   
  C 
  I 
  L 
  W 
   
  4 
  3 
  3 
  3 
   
   
  Edg 
  Ess 
  Init 
  IP 
   
  4 
  0.87 
  7 (10) 1 (4) 
  Condition Monitor Boxes (P/S): 11/11 
  Armor (B/I): 8/6 
  Active Skills: Athletics skill group 4, Automatics 5, 
  Blades (Cyber-Implant Blades) 6 (+2), Clubs 3, 
  Dodge 3, Heavy Weapons 3, Longarms 3, 
  Perception (Visual) 3 (+2), Pilot Ground Craft 
  (Bike) 2 (+2), Pistols 4, Throwing Weapons 3, 
  Unarmed Combat 5 
  Knowledge Skills: Baseball 4, Beer 3, Classic Rock 
  Music 3, Martial-Arts Sims 3, Whiskey 3 
  Languages: English 2 
  Qualities: Addiction (Moderate): Alcohol, Corsican 
  Triplet, Guts, High Pain Tolerance (3), Poor Self 
  Control: Vindictive, Uncouth 
  Augmentations: Adrenaline pump 3 (alphaware), 
  cybereyes [Rating 3, betaware w/ eye recording 
  unit, flare compensation, image link, low-light 
  vision, smartlink, thermographic vision, vision 
  enhancement 
  3], 
  muscle 
  augmentation 
  3 
  (alphaware), 
  muscle 
  toner 
  3 
  (alphaware), 
  orthoskin 
  3 
  (alphaware), 
  reflex 
  recorder 
  (alphaware, Close Combat skill group), reflex 
  recorder (alphaware, Firearms skill group), spurs 
  (betaware), synaptic booster 3 (alphaware)  
  Gear: AR Gloves, armor jacket, 2 Fake SINs 
  (Rating 4, w/ licenses), commlink [custom OS, 
  Firewall 8, Response 4, Signal 4, System 4, Basic+ 
  Program Suite), subvocal microphone 
  Weapons:  
  Ares Alpha [Assault Rifle, DV 6P, AP -1, 
  SA/BF/BF-L/FA, RC 2, 42 (c), w/ grenade 
  launcher, smartlink] 
        Ares Alpha Grenade Launcher [Grenade 
  Launcher, DV by ammo, SS, 6 (c), w/ smartlink] 
  Ares Predator IV [Heavy Pistol, DV 6P, AP -1, SA, 
  15 (c), w/ explosive rounds x150, smartlink] 
  Katana [Blades, Reach 1, DV 7P, AP -1] 
  Spurs (betaware) [Blades, Reach --, DV 7P, AP --] 
  Survival Knife [Blades, Reach --, DV 5P, AP -1] 
   
  NEW POSITIVE QUALITY: MCCORSICAN 
  TRIPLET 
  COST: 15 BP 
  McCorsican Triplet is a quality that must be taken 
  by three characters, each paying the entire Build 
  Point cost. It can only be taken at character 
  creation, and each character must be part of a set 
  of triplets. Characters with this quality share and 
  distribute pain and damage dealt to them. The 
  effect is instantaneous, and the damage is divided 
  as equally as possible between the three (rounded 
  up). Distance plays no factor in the damage 
  distribution. Each briefly feels the pain of the full 
  wound for a fleeting moment, before the pain 
  subsides to that of the actual damage taken. For 
  example, a Corsican Triplet sustains 5 boxes of 
  damage from a wound. This damage is divided 
  by 3, and then rounded up, so that each of the 
  triplets takes sustains 2 boxes of damage. 
  
   
   
  Street Legends: Home Edition 
  April 1, 2012 
  9 
  Posted by: Haze 
  Vital Stats 
  Age: 19 
  Height: 1.72 
  Weight: 50 kg 
  Hair: Black 
  Eyes: Green 
  Gender: Female 
  Metatype: Elf 
  Awakened: No 
  Yeah yeah yeah, I’m neither gone, nor forgotten, just layin’ low 
  for a while. Still, Fastjack wants files? I’ll give him files. This 
  one’s out of my own personal little black book, a gal that 
  operates out of San Fran that has way more talent than anybody 
  her age should have. Her name is Sakura Kunoichi. We met up 
  in a runner bar out there, scoping out the same chick. She was 
  faster, but I’m better; I figured I’d offer her a consolation prize 
  and I told her I could make room for one more, but no dice. 
  Turns out she’s only into other girls ... can’t say that I blame her, 
  but a damn shame ‘cause she was fine. 
  We got tied up into a duel for a while, trying to out-seduce one 
  another’s targets, ferretting out some info on one another, and, 
  eventually, we wound up on the same team on a job to break 
  into some subsidiary of Ares about three steps of umbrella 
  corporations down the line. Sakura (she tells me it’s her real 
  name) doesn’t have any magic about her, but she has some wiz 
  upgrades … bio this, cyber that, and the most amazing set of 
  SAKURA KUNOICHI: We promise it will all 
  make sense in the end. Or not. 
  articulation that you ever saw. She’s smooth just about 
  everywhere, which comes in handy during her day job as a 
  stripper. Hell, she probably makes more than that than running. 
  Anyway, she’s a crack infiltrator, able to shimmy through 
  anything her head’ll fit through thanks to being able to 
  dislocate so many of her joints, and she’s got some kind of 
  smart rig set up and tied to IR eye implants so she can go 
  cartwheeling through laser tripwire grids without fear and fast 
  enough to stay a step ahead of a fast responder that stumbled 
  onto her in mid caper. She’s a decent hacker too, but only after 
  she gets inside a facility and takes it on from the softer side, 
  rather than cracking through the front door. She also has some 
  social skills, but her seduction work is all power plays and 
  aggression; she saunters up, brazenly checks someone out, adds 
  some touching, then goes in for the kill. Confidence, kids. It 
  works. Or it least it does when backed up by a hot elf chick with 
  a body perfected by science. 
  > You don’t know the half of it, Haze. Tell you what, 
  I’m feeling generous today. For just twenty, I’ll dump 
  some data on you. 
  > Icarus 
  > Hang on. Icarus cutting somebody a deal? Little miss 
  Continued… 
  
   
   
  Shadowrun 
  April 1, 2012 
   
   
   
  Sakura Kunoichi (real name, David 
  Farnsworth) 
  Age: 39 
  Height: 1.79 m,  
  Weight: 111 kg 
  Hair: Brown 
  Eyes: Brown 
  Gender: Male 
  Metatype: Human 
  Awakened: No 
  David Farnsworth was an average 
  wageslave at Yamatetsu for years who 
  gradually worked his way from data 
  entry to being a materials supervisor for 
  the secretarial pool. His job was doing 
  tracking expenses on ink carts, chairs, 
  and other assorted business costs. He 
  had a good mind for details but not a lot 
  of originality. He noticed that some 
  supplies that were out of the usual price 
  ranges were getting shuffled around in 
  a particular subsidiary, and he found 
  himself embroiled in a little inter-office 
  shoving match between the old Japanese 
  school that employed him and the new 
  Russian side of the master business, 
  Evo. More through luck than anything, 
  he managed to pass word up the line 
  and get several heads rolled. In 
  repayment, <Name redacted. Would 
  you like to pay for gold access for 1,000 
  creds? Y/N> became his sponsor, 
  figuring that he'd want to move up the 
  ranks into a cushy assistant to a vice 
  president slot. 
  Nope. 
  Instead, he took advantage of Evo's 
  New You package offerings and 
  reconstructed himself from the ground 
  up, taking a full gene wipe, gender flip, 
  ethnicity change, the works. 
   
  > Say what? 
  > Haze 
   
  > He's saying that your hot new 
  ride came with a kickstand. 
  > Turbo Bunny 
  > Hey, don't knock it till you've 
  tried it, TB. I've flipped back and 
  forth so many times I've lost 
  count. Ever try your hand at being 
  an Iranian guy? Aztlanner gal? Elf 
  for a day, troll for the next? You've 
  really gotta get past your old 
  hangups about identity and live a 
  (Continued) 
  SaKura 
  Kunoichi 
  Female human 
  profit 
  opportunity? 
  What’s 
  the 
  catch? 
  > 2XL 
  Catch? Why does there have to be 
  a catch? Maybe I just want to be 
  kind to my fellow metahuman. 
  > Icarus 
  > First of all, you’re an ork and 
  Haze is an elf. Not a lot of good 
  blood there. Second of all, you’ve 
  never done anything like that for 
  anybody else. There’s gotta be a 
  catch. 
  > 2XL 
   
  > Hate to break your bubble, big 
  guy, but Icarus is an elf.  
  > Beaker 
   
  > What? No, Icarus is an ork, and 
  a guy at that. 
  > Hanibelle 
   
  > Nope she’s a human lass. I used 
  to have a pic somewhere, but I 
  think it corrupted. Chinese, upper-
  crust with a lot of British in her 
  bloodline 
  > Stone 
   
  > I’m thinking little miss eyeless 
  has 
  gotta 
  be 
  wrong, 
  because 
  Icarus is a chick. 
  > Haze 
   
  > Haze, 
  you 
  think everyone’s 
  female. 
  No, 
  wait. 
  You 
  hope 
  everyone’s female. 
  Jimmy No 
   
  > Fine, guilty as charged. Still, 
  won’t be the first thing I’ve bought 
  from her. Transmission your way, 
  Icky. 
  Haze 
   
  > And verified. Thank you for 
  doing business with us, Mr. Haze, 
  and I hope you continue to use our 
  services. 
  Your 
  upload 
  is 
  commencing … now. 
  > Icarus 
   
  <Begin Data dump> 
   
   
  B 
  A 
  R 
  S 
   
  6 
  5 
  5 
  6 
   
   
  C 
  I 
  L 
  W 
   
  6 
  4 
  4 
  6 
   
   
  Edg 
  Ess 
  Init 
  IP 
   
  6 
  5.8 
  9 
  1 
   
  Condition Monitor Boxes (P/S): 
  11/11 
  Armor (B/I): 8/10 
  Active Skills: Artisan (singer) 6, 
  Athletics skill group 3, Blades 3, 
  Computer 6, Clubs 4, Data Search 6, 
  Disguise 1, Dodge 4, Electronics 
  skill group 4, First Aid 3, 
  Infiltration 6, Influence skill group 
  5, Intimidation 4, Palming 3, 
  Perception 3, Pilot Ground Craft 2, 
  Pistols (Ruger Warhawk) 6 (+2), 
  Shadowing 5, Unarmed Combat 
  (Testicle Kicking) 6 (+2) 
  Knowledge Skills: Elvis Presley 
  108, Sandwiches (Fried Peanut 
  Butter and Banana) 20 (+2), 
  Sequined Jumpsuits 13, Feeling 
  Blue 16, Jailhouses 15, Hound Dogs, 
  Blue Suede Shoes 19 
  Qualities: Distinctive Style, First 
  Impression, Guts, Toughness, King 
  of Rock and Roll, Martial Arts 
  (Style: Hunka-hunka-burnin-love) 
  Augmentations: Voice modulator 
  Gear: Armored sequined jumpsuit, 
  16 doses bliss, 22 doses jazz, 25 
  doses novacoke, sunglasses [Rating 
  2, w/ smartlink, vision 
  enhancement 2], 87 doses zen 
  Weapons: 
  Ruger Super Warhawk (“Priscilla”) 
  [Heavy Pistol, DV 6P, AP –1, SA, 
  RC —, 6(cy), w/ advanced safety 
  (basic w/ biometric lock), melee 
  hardening, skinlink, smartlink] 
   
  
   
   
  Street Legends: Home Edition 
  April 1, 2012 
  11 
  anymore. More on point, it looks like the wear 
  and tear's caught up with her. The weight 
  listed here is abut twenty kilos too low these 
  days, 
  probably 
  more, 
  and 
  she's 
  not 
  commanding high rates anymore, which is why 
  she wants a stage partner. Her routines are all 
  stale, 
  and 
  she 
  doesn't 
  have 
  either 
  the 
  imagination or choreographer she would need 
  to add new ones. 
  > Turbo Bunny 
  > I thought you said the wires were better 
  these days, TB? 
  > Beaker 
  > I did. If you don't keep things upgraded, 
  however, the 'softs degrade, and if you have 
  pirated stuff, you don't get automatic updates. 
  And with no real work ethic or experience in 
  the fields, topped off with an easy 'free entry,' 
  you've got someone who doesn't have any 
  professional discipline, either. She doesn't 
  know how to keep her body in shape, how to 
  take care of herself, or how to push her skills 
  to the level needed to keep her edge. Buy the 
  nicest ride you want, but if you don't do 
  routine maintenance, it's just going to fall 
  apart on you. 
  > Turbo Bunny 
  > Oh lord, don't I know it. The first time I 
  switched genders, there was a huge learning 
  curve--how to stand, how to sit, how to dress, 
  that whole bathroom issue. It gets easier, but 
  it can be a pain for a rookie. I've got some 
  primers if anyone is interested. 
  > Plan 9 
   
  > Wait, now I'm confused ... what gender did 
  you start out as, P9? 
  > Beaker 
   
  > To be honest? I'm not entirely sure 
  anymore. Doesn't matter, really. 
  Plan 9 
   
  > Hey, you're all missing the important 
  question, here … who, or what, is Icarus, 
  anyway? 
  > Hanibelle 
   
  > That information will cost more than your 
  account can cover, I'm afraid. 
  > Icarus 
   
  > Wait, if she … I mean he … with the … and I 
  … I think I need a nap. 
  > Haze 
   
  (Continued) 
  little. If you're interested, I know some great 
  doctors that don't charge an arm and a leg. 
  > Plan 9 
  David, now under his new identity as Sakura, 
  transferred to San Francisco, left his old data entry 
  job, and dove headfirst into a life of hedonism and 
  debauchery that must have lurked behind that boring 
  old datapusher's head for decades. The money that 
  was a reward vanished quickly, and since she was 
  unwilling to go back to the old life, Sakura turned to 
  stripping and, of all things, shadowrunning. 
  > For the record, I've worked with her in the 
  past. Her moves are impressive, a wide array 
  of ninjitsu arts, but to a trained eye, their 
  roots as activesofts are quite evident. She is 
  far 
  more 
  reckless 
  than 
  she 
  should 
  be, 
  however, seeming to revel in attention rather 
  than undertake a truly hidden path. A lesbian 
  elf ninja stripper ... only in the UCAS, I 
  suppose. 
  > Lei Kung 
  > Oh, is that who she is? Well, now things 
  make a lot more sense. She hooked up with 
  one of my friends a year back who couldn't 
  stop giggling over this new girl--body to die 
  for, but not so bright, and absolutely clueless 
  on a few things. Liked to play dressup and 
  check herself out in the mirror. She enjoyed 
  being the aggressor in a relationship but 
  freaked out when she wasn't in control. I 
  thought it was just a op thing, but this makes 
  far more sense. 
  > SeaTac Sweetie 
  > Tsk. It's better to receive than to give. 
  > Plan 9 
  > TMI 
  > Kat o' Nine Tales 
  > So, just a 'chipper, then? Good to know in 
  case we cross jobs in the future. 
  Ma'fan 
   
  > First of all, there've been some real 
  improvements in activesofts the past few 
  years. Why do you think the cost of the things 
  jumped by an order of magnitude? Don't 
  discount somebody on skillwires so easily. 
  Second, Sakura's been inactive for a bit. 
  > Turbo Bunny 
  > All right, I'll bite. How do you know this? 
  > Beaker 
  > She tried to hook up with Marionette a while 
  back, but she doesn't fall into that line of work 
  
   
   
  Street Legends: Home Edition 
  April 1, 2012 
  12 
  Posted by: Skip Goodheart 
  Hey everybody! How are you all doing today! It’s really nice to 
  let me in here so I can talk with you all! You seem like a really 
  neat bunch of individuals, and I’m just thrilled to be able to 
  learn a little bit from you. 
  I mean, wow, this is a really cool place you have here! It’s kind 
  of like a clubhouse, isn’t it? It’s just missing the milk and 
  cookies! Wouldn’t they be great? 
  Just kidding. Never let me have sugar in the middle of the day, 
  because I just get sooooo out of control! My mom always used 
  to tell me, if you don’t lay off that sugar, I’ll have to lay you out! 
  Ah, mom. What a card. But seriously, mom never hit me. 
  > All right, ‘Jack, what’s going on? What is this person 
  doing here? 
  > Haze 
   
  > I know it might not seem like it, but this guy’s 
  actually done work in the shadows. Right, Riser? 
  > FastJack 
  > I don’t want to talk about it. 
  > Riser 
   
  SKIPPY GOODHEART: The nicest guy that will 
  ever annoy the hell out of you. 
  And I see Mr. Riser is here too! Hi, Mr. Riser! How’s 
  everything? Did that scratch you got from that mean woman 
  ever heal up right? And that other thing? I hope so! 
  But whoops, I’m getting ahead of myself. I don’t remember 
  everything Mr. FastJack said to me when he invited me to this 
  swell clubhouse, but I think one of the things he wanted me to 
  talk about was the little adventure I had with Mr. Riser, and I 
  don’t want to get to the ending before I start at the beginning. 
  So let’s go! 
  For a long time I had a really great job with Aztechnology’s 
  Human Procurement and Bloodstain Removal division, and 
  there were a bunch of really neat people who treated me great 
  there, but eventually I left because, you know, the vibe there 
  was getting really weird. People stopped having fun! I mean, I 
  know that dragging people kicking and screaming to blood-
  soaked altars and then walking away while their terrified, 
  pained screams are ringing in your ears is not everyone’s cup of 
  tea, but I always say that if you’ve got a job to do, do it well and 
  do it with a smile. Am I right? Anyway, people weren’t smiling 
  as much, so I thought maybe it was time to leave and strike out 
  on my own. I knew that when I was my own boss, I’d always 
  Continued… 
  
   
   
  Street Legends: Home Edition 
  April 1, 2012 
  13 
  it! 
  > Riser 
  Now, Mr. Riser and the others were 
  really great people. They were always 
  willing to let me sit in the room next to 
  them just so I could have some peace 
  and quiet and let me gather my 
  thoughts! They were a rowdy bunch, 
  though. I remember seeing Mr. Riser 
  take a sip out of a flask once, and I 
  thought to myself, “How can he get 
  away with drinking so early in the 
  day?” But then he said he doesn’t 
  consider 8 p.m. that early. Oh well, 
  everyone’s got their own way to live, 
  right? Even if some of those ways are 
  totally corrupt and wrong. But I’m not 
  judging anyone! 
  So with the help of Mr. Riser and his 
  friends, we came up with a really great 
  plan. It seems like Mr. Brackhaven 
  really likes dwarf women, only he 
  doesn’t talk about it much. Isn’t that 
  sad? When I like something, I just want 
  to talk and talk and talk about it. Like let 
  me tell you about this restaurant I went 
  to. It was so great! You get a big leg of 
  turkey and some potatoes, and you get 
  to eat everything with your hands! And 
  you’re seated around this dirt oval, and 
  there’s a show they put on down there, 
  with a king and queen and knights and 
  horses and everything. It was so 
  thrilling! When that green knight almost 
  fell out of his horse, I almost fell out of 
  my chair. Good thing Mr. Riser was 
  there to catch me! 
  > Oh he was, was he? Say, Mr. 
  Riser, did you enjoy the show, too? 
  > Slamm-0! 
  > Look, it was his idea, okay? That 
  was where he wanted to have the 
  meeting. I’d never heard of the 
  place. I knew nothing about it. And 
  yeah, it was a little strange, and 
  there were like fifty kids there on 
  birthday parties, but if you didn’t 
  cheer when the green knight won, 
  then you’re don’t have a heart, 
  okay? So shut up. 
  > Riser 
  But what Mr. Riser told me is that 
  there’s a place you can go to meet dwarf 
  women. Isn’t that great? Seattle has so 
  (Continued) 
  Skippy 
  Goodheart 
  Male human 
  have something to smile about! 
  I figured that I should stay with what I 
  knew, and that involved taking people 
  to places they didn’t necessarily want to 
  go. I don’t want to brag or anything (my 
  mom would always tell me, “Skip, don’t 
  you go puttin’ on airs and actin’ better 
  than you are, or I’ll bring you back to 
  Earth with this here tire iron!”), but I 
  think I’m pretty good at it. I’d like to 
  believe it’s because I have a soothing, 
  positive presence that reassures people 
  and makes them feel better. It can’t hurt, 
  right? 
  So I’d helped a few people get some 
  other people to places where they 
  wanted to be, and gosh darn it if my 
  new business wasn’t just clipping along, 
  and I got what was my biggest job yet. I 
  got a call from Mr. Johnson (hey, did 
  you ever notice how all the guys who 
  hire people like us call themselves Mr. 
  Johnson? What a hoot!) telling me that 
  he had a really special target in mind for 
  me. He gave me the name—Kenneth 
  Brackhaven—that they wanted moved 
  to a new location. 
  Now this is a little embarrassing, but 
  when Mr. Johnson said the name, he 
  paused for a second and waited for me 
  to react, and all I could think of was 
  “Who?” I’d never heard the name! But I 
  knew enough never to let my ignorance 
  show, because momma always said 
  “Better to keep your mouth shut and let 
  someone think you’re ignorant than to 
  open your mouth and make me want to 
  punch you right in the teeth.” So I just 
  nodded and looked competent and said, 
  “Sure, that’ll be no problemo.” And he 
  stared at me for a second and said, “I 
  assume you’ll want some help for this 
  one,” and I said, “That’s right nice of 
  you, Mr. Johnson, I’d love some help! 
  Thanks for thinking of it!” Then he gave 
  me a bunch of names, and that was how 
  I met Mr. Riser! 
  > Wait—Riser, you were hired to 
  kidnap Kenneth Brackhaven … with 
  Gomer Pyle? 
  > Pistons 
  > I said I didn’t want to talk about 
   
  B 
  A 
  R 
  S 
   
  3 
  2 
  2 
  2 
   
   
  C 
  I 
  L 
  W 
   
  5 
  1 
  2 
  6 
   
   
  Edg 
  Ess 
  Init 
  IP 
   
  7 
  5.9 
  4 
  1 
   
  Condition Monitor Boxes (P/S): 
  10/11 
  Armor (B/I): 4/0 
  Active Skills: None 
  Knowledge Skills: Broadway 
  Musicals 5, Family-Oriented Trids 
  4, Place Settings 5, Ritual Sacrifice 5, 
  Square Dancing 6 
  Qualities: Guts, Incompetent 
  (Infiltration), Lucky, Quick Healer, 
  Oblivious, SINner, Trustworthy, 
  Will to Live 2 
  Augmentations: Artificial Hair 
  (Biebertronic XL30 Line) 
  Gear: Armor clothing, 12 x hard 
  candies, 10 x licorice whips, 6 x 
  lollipops, 8 doses novacoke 
  Weapons: 
  Remington Roomsweeper w/ 
  flechettes [Heavy Pistol, DV 7P(f), 
  AP +5, SA, RC —, 8(m)] 
   
  
   
   
  Street Legends: Home Edition 
  April 1, 2012 
  14 
  many services! Isn’t that what every city needs, a place 
  where lonely people can go to meet each other? I love 
  that idea—it’s so innocent and pure, right? So anyway, 
  Mr. Brackhaven, it seems, likes to go meet dwarf 
  women at this place, and he doesn’t take too many of 
  his “people” along (I don’t know what “people” he 
  has, but this was a phrase Mr. Riser used, so I figured 
  he knew what he was talking about), so we could 
  probably escort him out while he was there. I thought 
  this sounded like a terrific plan, so I told Mr. Riser so. 
  > That he did. Loudly enough for ten people to 
  turn around and look at us. 
  > Riser 
  We didn’t want to waste any time, of course, and Mr. 
  Riser said he had information that Mr. Brackhaven 
  would be at the social club the next night, so we got 
  ready. And you should see Mr. Riser get ready! I’ve 
  never seen so much gun loading happen outside of a 
  montage in an action trid! And he spends so much 
  time cleaning his guns! He gets each one in such good 
  shape, one after another, and I finally just had to ask 
  him, “Mr. Riser, do you really need to spend all that 
  time polishing your gun?” and he looked at me and 
  gave me a funny stare and said “Do you?” and I really 
  had no idea what he was talking about, but everyone 
  else laughed, so I laughed too. 
  But once we were ready, we went out to the social 
  club. I really appreciated Mr. Riser’s faith in me, 
  because he said I should be the very first to go in. He 
  said I was “cannon fodder,” which I think is the stuff 
  you load into a cannon, so he was saying I was like the 
  opening cannon shot in a battle! What an honor! 
  I decided to walk into the club with a humble, 
  respectful attitude, out of respect of their work in 
  helping people get to know each other. I also figured 
  that they would be really nice and friendly, because 
  they’re a social club. Why wouldn’t they be 
  welcoming? 
  I walked in with a big smile—but I always have a big 
  smile! It’s like my mom told me, “You’re always 
  smiling! One day I’ll wipe that smile off your face and 
  grind it into glass-strewn ground.” I saw a nice elderly 
  woman sitting behind a desk and a few other woman 
  who were dressed as though the heat in the building 
  was turned on too high. I nodded to them politely, 
  then walked to the woman behind the desk. 
  “Good evening, ma’am,” I said. “I have a favor to ask 
  you, but first I want to thank you for running such a 
  wonderful service.” 
  “No favors,” she said. “I don’t do favors. This is a 
  business.” 
  I was a little startled by her tone, but we all sound a 
  little down sometimes, especially at the end of a long 
  day, right? So I just went on. “I’d be happy to pay you 
  whatever you need if you’d just let me know where 
  Mr. Brackhaven is right now.” 
  Well, you’d have thought I said there was an apple pie 
  sale next door or something! There was such a ruckus! 
  The women who were sitting there ran out of the 
  room, and the woman behind the desk just ducked 
  down and hid. I was leaning forward over the desk to 
  see what was the matter when a door opened and 
  these two big trolls came out, and they looked really 
  unhappy! 
  “Gentlemen!” I said. “Can you take me to Mr. 
  Brackhaven?” 
  I heard some cursing in my earpiece, like Mr. Riser 
  had stubbed his toe or something, and I felt bad for 
  him, because I didn’t want him to be in pain. But 
  before I could tell him I hoped he would feel better 
  soon, I noticed the trolls were pointing guns at me, and 
  they looked like they were going to shoot. Well didn’t 
  that beat all! I dropped to the floor out of instinct, and 
  listened to bullets hit all over the place. I just waited it 
  out, hoping the trolls would get over their little snit 
  quickly. And I guess they did, because they soon 
  stopped shooting. 
  > I was outside with a sniper rifle. I got them 
  both. Gomer didn’t even notice the corpses 
  when he stood up. 
  > Riser 
  Once the trolls weren’t shooting at me, I got up and 
  walked up the stairs I had seen. I called out for Mr. 
  Brackhaven, but he didn’t come out. I looked into one 
  of the rooms I walked by and saw that it was a real 
  pretty little bedroom, so I wondered if maybe Mr. 
  Brackhaven was taking a nap. I didn’t want to wake 
  him, but I had a job to do, so I got louder. 
  Then I heard a noise behind me in the hall, and two 
  people came out of a room, and they had guns too. So 
  many people with guns! What kind of social club was 
  this, anyway? I decided I didn’t want to have anything 
  to do with these rude people, so I stepped quickly into 
  one of the open bedrooms, and I heard some bullets fly 
  past. I suddenly worried—there were such lovely 
  brass wall sconces in the hallway. What if those 
  careless bullets hit one? I called out, “Watch out for the 
  sconces!” 
  > It’s true. He did. 
  > Riser 
  But it’s possible no one heard me, because I heard a lot 
  of footsteps running down the hallway, and there were 
  more gunshots, and some kind of loud scuffle. I 
  walked back into the hallway and saw a couple of Mr. 
  Riser’s friends wrestling with the people with the 
  guns. I decided they could all occupy each other just 
  (Continued) 
  
   
   
  Street Legends: Home Edition 
  April 1, 2012 
  15 
  fine, so I carefully walked by and entered the room the 
  two men had come out of. 
  It was just a small room with a couple of wooden 
  chairs, but there was another door leading out of it, 
  and I heard some noise behind it. So I gently knocked 
  on the door. I listened for a reply, but I couldn’t really 
  hear anything with all the scuffling going on, so I’m 
  afraid I just set my manners aside and opened that 
  door. 
  There were two people inside. One was this nice little 
  dwarf woman, and she really didn’t look happy at all 
  for someone who was supposed to be making friends 
  with people. She had a slip on that could really use 
  some bleach, and she was sitting on the corner of a 
  bed, her knees up against her chest. The other person 
  was a distinguished-looking older man, and he was 
  scrambling to button up his shirt. I checked the picture 
  Mr. Johnson had given me, and sure enough, this was 
  Mr. Brackhaven! I guessed that he had changed shirts 
  to be more comfortable talking to this nice young lady, 
  but now he had to go back to work or something. 
  “Hello, Mr. Brackhaven! I’m Skip, and I have great 
  news for you! There’s a wonderful man named Mr. 
  Johnson who has arranged for you to have some peace 
  and quiet at this great little cottage near a lake. It’s 
  only about 250 kilometers away, and I’m ready to take 
  you there now!” 
  Of course, I thought that Mr. Brackhaven would be 
  delighted, but he wasn’t! Not at all! In fact, he pulled 
  out a gun (another gun!) and said “Over my dead 
  body!” 
  I began to remonstrate him for drawing a weapon in 
  the presence of a lady, but before I could finish the 
  sentence he was already firing, so I had to move out of 
  the way. My dodge ended up taking me to the side 
  room, where I bumped into none other than Mr. Riser! 
  He shoved me back into the room, and he was 
  carrying a handgun so large it could have been used as 
  the central support beam of a small hut. He pointed it 
  right at Mr. Brackhaven, which seemed to calm the 
  elderly gentleman down. 
  “You’re coming with us,” Mr. Riser said, in that tone 
  of grim determination that I’ve just never been able to 
  mimic. 
  I heard a kind of strangled sob, and I noticed the 
  woman in the room was crying. Well, I hate to see 
  anyone cry in my presence, so I walked over to her 
  and told her everything would be all right, and if she 
  was worried that she wouldn’t have anyone to talk to, 
  I’d be happy to come and chat with her sometime. 
  Now, I hate to be accused of casting aspersions on 
  anyone I’ve worked with, but I have to say that Mr. 
  Riser did something next that was pretty ungenerous 
  of him. He said, “Skip. The whore’s none of our 
  concern. Leave her alone.” 
  Well, the young lady didn’t like that one bit, and she 
  jumped off the bed faster than a june bug leaping to an 
  apple tree. She made a howl that hurt my ears real 
  good, and swiped at Mr. Riser and left a deep gouge in 
  his cheek. He wasn’t happy, and he swung at her, 
  clobbering her back to the bed. 
  “Mr. Riser!” I said. “I don’t know how you were 
  raised, but that’s not how I was taught to get along 
  with people!” 
  He looked at me. “Shut up,” he said.  
  I wasn’t going to be deterred. “Mr. Riser, my mother 
  always told me that we don’t have to compromise our 
  beliefs to get what we want.” Now, that was a bit of a 
  fib—momma never said anything like that—but I 
  wished she had, so I figured it was true enough. 
  “Skippy, get in the van,” he said, and he didn’t even 
  look at me when he said it!  
  At that point, I’d had enough. I walked right up to 
  him, planting myself between him and Mr. 
  Brackhaven, and said, “Mr. Riser, I insist on being 
  treated better than that!” 
  The next few moments were a blur. I guess I kept Mr. 
  Riser from seeing what Mr. Brackhaven was doing, 
  because he moved quickly, grabbed me, and pointed a 
  gun at my head.  
  “Out of my way,” Mr. Brackhaven said, “or your 
  friend gets it.” 
  Mr. Riser didn’t move his gun at all. “Okay,” he said. 
  It was pretty tense there for a moment, and I wished I 
  had something I could do besides have a gun pointed 
  at my head, but that seemed to be my role for the time 
  being. It didn’t last long, though, because at that 
  moment the young woman in the room came back to 
  her senses and once again jumped at Mr. Riser. She 
  didn’t distract him for long, but it was long enough for 
  Mr. Brackhaven to shoot him. 
  Mr. Riser fell to the ground, and I was happy that he 
  was twitching in pain because it meant he wasn’t 
  dead. Mr. Brackhaven then dragged me out of the 
  room, using me as a hostage as he tried to walk out of 
  the social club. 
  I decided that this would be a fine time for a 
  conversation. “Mr. Brackhaven, I hope you don’t mind 
  me saying so, but you really look like you could use a 
  break. I mean, if they life you’re living means you have 
  to shoot someone just so you can walk away from your 
  girlfriend, doesn’t that maybe mean that things have 
  gotten too stressful for you? I think a week or a month 
  (Continued) 
  
   
   
  Street Legends: Home Edition 
  April 1, 2012 
  16 
   
  by a lake or something would be perfect! Don’t you?” 
  “Shut up,” he said. 
  “You see? I can hear the tension in your voice! Listen, 
  Mr. Brackhaven, I don’t know much about you or your 
  life, but hasn’t it maybe become too complicated? 
  Maybe you have too many balls in the air, if you take 
  my meaning? I was like you once. I was giving 
  everything to my job. It was all about getting ahead, 
  squashing the competition, and keeping the sacrificial 
  candidates calm while the knives were sharpened. But 
  I realized that I’d lost sight of something. I’d lost sight 
  of me. So I simplified my life, and let me tell you 
  something, Mr. Brackhaven—I’ve never been happier. 
  And look—my new lifestyle lets me do great things, 
  like meet people like you!” 
  And when I said that, Mr. Brackhaven stopped. We 
  were in the foyer where I’d first walked in. His grip on 
  me loosened so that I was able to turn around and look 
  at him. He looked very tired. 
  “Couldn’t you use a rest, Mr. Brackhaven?” I said. 
  “Aren’t you tired?” 
  “I am,” he said. “I am tired.” 
  “Well then come with me,” I said. “We’ll get you some 
  rest.” And with that, he walked out next to me, calm 
  and collected as could be. 
  We had a little incident when we walked to the van 
  where some people jumped out and told me to let “the 
  Governor” (I guess they meant Mr. Brackhaven?) go. I 
  didn’t want that, and I know Mr. Brackhaven didn’t 
  want that, and it’s like my mother always said—“I 
  swear I’ll kill you where you stand.” So I pulled out 
  my Roomsweeper and shot them both in the face. Then 
  I drove Mr. Brackhaven to the lake. 
  It really was a fascinating adventure, and I’m so glad I 
  got to be a part of it and then share it with you here! 
  Now, Mr. Riser, I know you’re a little mad at me about 
  the money matter, but I think it’s fair that my share 
  was a little bigger, because I was the one who finished 
  the job, right? And Mr. Johnson said he agreed with 
  me. But I know that gunshot had to hurt, and if you 
  need a little help paying medical bills, or buying 
  painkillers, I could maybe send a little money your 
  way. It turns out Mr. Brackhaven has his own 
  company or something, and he gave me a little 
  ownership share, and I guess it’s worth a lot of money! 
  Isn’t that great? 
  Anyway, thanks for letting me share my little story, 
  and I hope I get a chance to work with more of you 
  guys someday! 
  > So Skip’s sitting on a pile of money, huh? All 
  right, the line to join the group to go get him 
  forms to my right. 
  > Stone 
  > I’m in. 
  > Hard Exit 
  > Yeah, I’ll take a little of that action. 
  > Black Mamba 
  > Not me. I don’t want anything to do with this 
  guy. Ever. 
  > Riser 
  (Continued) 
  
SOURCE: textdata/thevault/Shadowrun [multi]/EXTRAS/Pranks/26APR3p - Street Legends - Home Edition.pdf