TEXT: Written by Gareth Hanrahan, 
  Jason Durall and John Snead
  A roleplaying game based on the ‘Laundry Files’ novels by Charles Stross
  LAUNDRY
  THE
  
  1
  The Laundry
  Laundry
  The
  Based on the Laundry Files novels by Charles Stross.
  The Laundry Files © 2001-2010 Charles Stross, used under license by Cubicle 7 Entertainment  Ltd. 
  All rights reserved.
  The Laundry RPG © 2010 Cubicle 7 Entertainment Ltd.
  The Basic Roleplaying System © Chaosium Inc, used under license by Cubicle 7 Entertainment Ltd.
  Published by Cubicle 7 Entertainment Ltd, Riverside House, Oxford, OX2 0ES, UK.
  www.cubicle7.co.uk
  Printed in the USA
  Credits
  Line Manager - Dominic McDowall-Thomas
  Lead Developer - Gareth Hanrahan
  Writers - Gareth Hanrahan, Jason Durall and John Snead
  Art Direction - Gareth Hanrahan, Jon Hodgson and Dominic McDowall-Thomas
  Cover Art - Malcolm McClinton
  Artists - Aaron Acevedo, Leanne Buckley, George Cotronis, Empty Room Studios, Jon Hodgson, 
  Jérome Huguenin, Scott Neil, Rich Longmore, Patrick McEvoy, Linda Pitman, Esther Sanz, Chad 
  Sergeketter
  Graphic Design - Mark Quire and Dominic McDowall-Thomas
  Editors - Charlotte Law and Dominic McDowall-Thomas
  Proofreaders - Nimrod Jones and Sarah Newton
  Playtesters - Kris Crofts, Fiachra Kelly, Sarah Hallinan, Denis Ryan and Neil Kelly
  Publishers - Angus Abranson and Dominic McDowall-Thomas
  
  2
  The Laundry
  4 
  Foreword
  6 
  CHAPTER ONE:  
   
   
   
  Capital Laundry Services
  9 
  CHAPTER TWO:  
   
   
   
  How to Play
  11 
  CHAPTER THREE:  
   
   
   
  Basic Rules
  11 
  Characteristics
  15 
  Skills
  16 
  CHAPTER FOUR:  
   
   
   
  Creating Your Character
  16 
  Step One: Identity   
  16 
  Step Two: Characteristics  
  16 
  Step Three: Age
  17 
  Step Four: Characteristic Rolls and Base Skills 
  17 
  Step Five: Derived Characteristics
  17 
  Step Six: Personality Type
  18 
  Step Seven: Profession and Skills 
  18 
  Step Eight: Laundry Assignment and Training
  19 
  Step Nine: Possessions 
  19 
  Step Ten: Personalising Your Character 
  22 
  Character Professions
  27 
  Creating New Professions
  28 
  Wealth Levels 
  29 
  CHAPTER FIVE:  
   
   
   
  Skills
  29 
  What is a Skill? 
  30 
  Using Skills
  31 
  Secret or Concealed Skill Rolls 
  31 
  Unskilled Actions 
  31 
  Opposed Skill Rolls 
  32 
  Complementary Skills
  32 
  Time and Skill Use 
  33 
  Alphabetical Skill List
  33 
  Skill Descriptions
  47 
  New Skills and Specialties 
  48 
  CHAPTER SIX:   
   
   
   
  System & Combat
  48 
  The Basics 
  48 
  Difficulty Modifiers 
  49 
  Circumstance Modifiers 
  49 
  Special Successes
  50 
  Fumbles 
  50 
  Opposed Rolls 
  51 
  Resistance Rolls
  52 
  Combat
  56 
  Spot Rules for Firearms 
  58 
  Spot Rules For Unusual Situations
  62 
  Sample Poisons 
  62 
  Experience and Improvement 
  64 
  CHAPTER SEVEN:  
   
   
   
  Damage & Healing
  64 
  Getting Hurt 
  66 
  Healing 
  68 
  CHAPTER EIGHT:  
   
   
   
  Sanity & Insanity
  68 
  Using SAN for Sanity Checks 
  68 
  Losing SAN
  70 
  Temporary and Indefinite Insanity
  71 
  Mental Disorders 
  74 
  Permanent Insanity
  74 
  Regaining Lost SAN Points
  75 
  CHAPTER NINE:  
   
   
   
  Her Majesty’s Occult Service
  75 
  A Brief History of the Laundry
  76 
  Structure of the Laundry
  78 
  Department Information
  78 
  Administration Division
  86 
  Operations Division
  89 
  Laundry Facilities
  91 
  CHAPTER TEN:   
   
   
   
  Tools of the Trade
  91 
  Advanced Technology
  91 
  Acquiring Gear
  91 
  Requisitioning Gear
  92 
  Occult Items
  99 
  Conventional Spy Gear
  103 
  Common Firearms and Explosives
  104 
  CHAPTER ELEVEN:   
   
   
  Budgets, Requisitions and Training
  105 
  Gear Requisitions
  106 
  Support Requisitions 
  107 
  Budgets and Spending
  109 
  Training Packages
  111 
  CHAPTER TWELVE:  
   
   
  The Directory
  111 
  Her Majesty’s Government
  COnTenTS
  
  3
  The Laundry
  COnTenTS
  111 
  COBRA
  112 
  Joint Intelligence Committee
  112 
  The UK Intelligence Community
  118 
  CHAPTER THIRTEEN: 
   
   
  Counterparts
  118 
  Our European Partners
  120 
  UK-USA Pact Members
  122 
  The Old Bad Guys
  122 
  The New Bad Guys
  124 
  CHAPTER FOURTEEN: 
   
   
  Words  Have  Power: Sorcery
  125 
  Magic, Energy and Magical Energy
  127 
  Learning Magic
  128 
  Learning Spells
  128 
  Casting Spells
  130 
  Using Magical Devices
  130 
  Activating Pre-Written Magical Apps
  131 
  Computational Sorcery
  131 
  Traditional Magic
  132 
  Mental Magic (True Sorcery)
  132 
  Modifying Spells
  134 
  Spells
  135 
  Spell Levels
  136 
  Defensive Bindings
  136 
  Destiny Entanglement Geas
  137 
  Entropy Manipulation
  137 
  Exorcism
  138 
  Gates
  140 
  Geas
  141 
  Glamour 
  142 
  Prognostication
  142 
  Scrying 
  142 
  Sympathetic Magic
  143 
  Summoning & Banishing
  144 
  Possession
  145 
  Banishing
  145 
  Wards
  147 
  RTFG – Tomes, Grimoires and Magical Texts
  149 
  CHAPTER FIFTEEN:  
   
   
  Security: Best Practice Guide
  158 
  CHAPTER SIXTEEN:   
   
   
  Expectations of Play
  158 
  Life in the Laundry
  160 
  Your Character and Welcome to Him
  161 
  Example of Play
  163 
  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN : 
   
   
  The Basics of Game Mastering
  165 
  Campaign Arcs and Plotlines
  165 
  The Local Laundry
  166 
  Style and Tone
  169 
  Non-Player Characters
  169 
  Missions
  169 
  Plot
  174 
  Laundry Mission Generator
  177 
  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN:  
   
   
  Laundry Personnel Roster
  197 
  CHAPTER NINETEEN:  
   
   
  The Archives
  198 
  Exonomes 
  206 
  Autonomes
  207 
  BLUE HADES 
  212 
  DEEP SEVEN 
  214 
  PLUTO KOBOLD 
  216 
  ANNING BLUE SKULL
  219 
  GHOULS
  222 
  GORGONS
  226 
  Mundane Animals 
  227 
  CHAPTER TWENTY:   
   
   
  Threats
  227 
  Cults 
  229 
  Cabals and Lone Wolves
  230 
  Corporations
  231 
  Terrorists
  231 
  Rogue Officers
  232 
  Other Species and Esoteric Threats 
  233 
  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE:  
   
  CASE  NIGHTMARE GREEN
  234 
  What is Really Going to Happen?
  235 
  Preparations
  237 
  GM Advice
  241 
  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO:  
   
  Going Down To Dunwich
  251 
  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE: 
   
  A Footnote
  257 
  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR:   
   
  The Greys
  271 
  APPENDIX: 
   
   
   
   
  Tables, Index and Character Sheet
  280 
  Character Sheet
  
  4
  -- Good morning, Bob. I do hope I’m not interrupting your game 
  of Minesweeper?
  -- Yes, Bob, this is more important than the cable fault in room 
  D14. I’ve got a little job for you  ...
  -- Oh all right then. If you must. Yes, I’ll sign it off for you. Send 
  a memo to Facilities and let them fix the network. It can come 
  out of the departmental infrastructure maintenance budget -- I’ll 
  square it with accounting. Yes, I’m afraid so. This task needs your 
  undivided attention.
  -- No, I don’t think that will be necessary.  It’s a desk job; perfectly 
  safe.
  -- No, Bob, nothing’s going to eat you.
  -- All right, here’s the briefing document and the material we 
  want you to prepare a report on. You’ll notice it’s security coded 
  CUBICLE SEVEN. It’s clearly a job for a young fellow like you 
  who grew up playing Dungeons and Dragons and Space Invaders 
  or what-not. I don’t understand these fads, I’m afraid. When I was 
  a lad ... yes, that was a very long time ago. You understand this 
  stuff better than I do ... 
  -- It’s a huge embarrassment. CUBICLE SEVEN went to press 
  and sold hundreds of thousands of copies of this so-called game 
  before anybody noticed, much less thought to stop them. It’s out 
  there and out of control, in the wild as it were. We can’t track down 
  everyone who’s bought one: it’s a fait accompli. I’m told it’s framed 
  as some kind of fantastic fiction, but it’s full of highly dangerous 
  classified material and the portrayal of how we work and what we 
  do is ... well, uncharitable barely begins to describe it. If we were a 
  public department we could contract the spin control out to some 
  PR firm, but we aren’t so we can’t. 
  -- To make matters worse, it mentions various codeword classified 
  operations.
  -- Yes, it’s at least as bad as the “Spycatcher” case. When we catch 
  whoever spilled the beans, Thaumaturgic Forensics will want to 
  examine them very carefully to establish exactly how they broke 
  their Oath of Office, before we throw the Official Secrets Act at 
  them. The Board are absolutely livid. Questions are being asked at 
  the highest level. 
  -- Yes, BLUE HADES is in there. And CASE NIGHTMARE 
  GREEN. 
  -- Yes, I suppose you could call it a “load of bollocks”, Bob. But I’d 
  rather you didn’t. People might get entirely the wrong idea.
  -- Well, in the short term there’s not a lot we can do. We can 
  steal, confiscate or buy up every copy that comes to light, and 
  bind any bystanders who’ve been exposed to classified material to 
  silence. But that’s a lot of work. It’d be easier to spin it as being 
  a disinformation campaign. But the latter only works if there’s 
  material in it that can be plausibly presented as inaccurate, biased, 
  erroneous, and designed to deceive. 
  -- Someone has to read it. And that someone has to be both the 
  kind of nerd who understands these Role Playing Game thingies, 
  and an officer who is cleared for all the codewords in the game 
  book. Which means you, Bob.
  -- Your job is to read this “Laundry RPG” and, if necessary, 
  play-test it to determine whether the procedures documented 
  therein are a threat to our national security, not to mention the 
  sanity of any civilians who may have been exposed to it. If you 
  spot any errata, please send me a memo immediately -- what they 
  got wrong will be as important as what they got right in helping 
  Internal Affairs to track down the source of the leaks. Oh, and 
  you may need to inform the GAMMA YELLOW committee if 
  you run across summoning rituals or occult lore encoded in the 
  documentation, in case we have to send the Plumbers to mop up 
  after so-called games. I’d appreciate a full report on my desk next 
  Friday morning ...
  -- What? What on earth do you need that for?
  -- Dice? Paper? Players?
  -- I told you I don’t know anything about these new-fangled role 
  playing games. Are you sure? If so, fill out a stationery request for 
  the office supplies and submit it in triplicate to the departmental 
  secretary. Players ... I don’t know where you’re going to get them. 
  Have you thought about asking Personnel if they’ll loan you some 
  Residual Human Resources?
  -- What, the players have got to be alive?
  -- Oh, I see. It’s not like lawn chess, then.
  -- Ask HR. If you encounter any push-back I’ll provide top cover. 
  Three RPG players with security clearance for at least eighteen 
  hours? Ouch. We’re under a hiring freeze, in case you hadn’t 
  noticed: I’ve no idea where we’re going to get a budget line for ...
  -- That’s an excellent idea. I seem to remember there’s a disused 
  level two containment grid in basement room B6 that you can 
  probably use: check with Facilities. Black candles are easy, we’re 
  still overstocked thanks to that ordering mix-up in your first week 
  on the job. The less said about that the better, yes, but if you can 
  see your way to burning a couple of gross it would be appreciated. 
  The “free beer and pizza for volunteers” idea sounds promising, 
  and I’ll definitely see if HR have a line item I can use to cover it. 
  But you’re going to have to recruit and vet the volunteer “players” 
  yourself.
  -- Remember: report by next Friday! And don’t let anything eat 
  your soul.
  (ENDS)
  Foreword
  by Charles Stross
  CUSTOMER SERVICE QA/RANDOM SAMPLE/OUTBOUND REC ONLY/USER:ANGLETONJ
  The Laundry
  
  5
  ORIENTATION FOR NEWLY TRANSFERRED PERSONNEL
  Version 4.5 (August 1995)
  Human Resources Directorate 
  Dear Sir/Madam/Other,
  As a newly transferred employee, it is necessary for you to acquaint yourself with the structure 
  and operational methods of this organisation as soon as possible. Your supervisor will provide 
  you with the documentation pertinent to your position; this general orientation is intended for the 
  consumption of all employees. As a reminder, this and all other documentation is classified under 
  Section III of the Official Secrets Act (1916) and hence is bound under the terms of your service.
  You now work for a branch of Her Majesty’s civil service known as the Laundry – the name 
  derives from our original offices during WWII – tasked with monitoring and containing entities and 
  phenomena that would be termed ‘supernatural’ by the general population. This is a misnomer; all 
  phenomena are natural to this or another universe. Reality is a considerably more porous medium 
  than is commonly suspected. 
  You are required to observe security and safety precautions at all times. Keep your warrant card 
  and employee badge on your person at all times. Use of your legal or true name is to be kept 
  to a minimum; use your assigned soubriquet for all non-essential forms, records, oaths and 
  social interactions. Report all significant unusual phenomenon, blood spills or bleeding, unusual 
  temperature shifts, electrical or computer faults to a supervisor immediately. Do not enter any 
  secure areas without permission. Do not repeat any unusual phrases three times. Do not summon 
  up anything you cannot put down. Review the Basic Health, Safety and Security Protocols 
  document at least once per month. 
  In the course of your duties, you may be called upon to serve in the field. Such duties include, but 
  are not limited to, investigating illegal or dangerous use of magic, containment and/or banishing 
  of supernatural entities, testing or investigation of new magical phenomenon, providing occult 
  support to other civilian (police, counterterrorism, customs, Home Office, Foreign Office) or military 
  organisations, enacting or participating in rituals (ensure you have signed Form CF/432 before 
  doing so) and protecting the sanity and stability of Reality As We Know It in general and the United 
  Kingdom in particular.
  Secrecy is paramount in the field. Never discuss the nature of your work or the existence of 
  the Laundry without permission. Your warrant card is enchanted to deflect suspicion and ensure 
  your authority – use of the warrant card outside of official Laundry business is not permitted and 
  suspected abuses will be Audited. 
  Before any field operation, a budget plan must be approved by your superior and on file with 
  Financial Control. Expenditures outside of the approved operational budget allocation are the 
  responsibility of the department and/or the individual. Similarly, use of any assets or office 
  equipment (including wards, mobile telephones, charms, storage devices, stationary including 
  pens, pencils and so forth) for non-standard purposes without prior approval is not permitted and 
  costs will be extracted from the relevant department. Repeated offences may be Audited. 
  The Laundry is an ISO9001-certified organisation, emphasising quality record keeping and 
  formalised management and problem-solving procedures. Maintaining this level of certification 
  should be a high priority for every employee. 
  The near future promises exciting challenges for the Laundry. With hard work, diligence, attention 
  to detail and a modicum of luck, we are confident that the majority of you may survive in some 
  form. 
  Welcome to the Laundry!
  
  6
  The Laundry
  We are a very minor infestation of organic life, clinging 
  precariously to a small pebble of cooling rock. This little 
  pebble orbits a brief candle of burning hydrogen, one of 
  millions of similar wisps of hot gas that make up 100,000 
  lightyear-wide splotch called the galaxy. That galaxy is one 
  of billions of galaxies in the universe and the universe itself 
  is a) largely empty and b) 13.7 billion years old. 
  For the most part, we have got it all worked out. There is 
  no God out there and precious few little green men. It is 
  all just hydrogen and a light sprinkling of heavier elements 
  bouncing around in the aftershocks from the Big Bang. 
  Reality is deterministic and meaningless; life is a cosmic 
  accident. As that bus said – stop worrying and enjoy your 
  life. 
  It is the bits we cannot see that the Laundry worries about. 
  There are sections of space-time where the physical laws 
  are very different to the ones in our neck of the galaxy, 
  impossible regions where reality gets squamous1. There 
  are other universes out there, other dimensions above and 
  below this one where the many-angled ones live. You can 
  call them gods if you want and you probably should. 
  Pray that they do not notice you. 
  Since we crawled out of the primordial ooze2, a lot of 
  very stupid people have tried worshipping such entities. 
  99% of the time, this had as much effect as most prayer, 
  although Cthulhu cultists were less interested in selling you 
  copies of the Watchtower than they were in sacrificing you 
  to their squiddy deity. Sometimes, very, very rarely, some 
  madman would actually manage to produce a genuinely 
  supernatural effect (usually the effect known as ‘opening 
  himself to possession by the brain-eaters’). Magic is mostly 
  garbage and even the spells that worked (for a given value 
  of ‘worked’; see brains, eaters of) were packed full of cruft 
  and nonsensical ritual elements.
  There has always been a strong association between 
  espionage and sorcery. They are both occult, in that they are 
  hidden from public view. Here in the UK, you had people 
  like John Dee and the Wizard Earl of Northumberland 
  1. Invisible, too, until NASA gets around to launching Tillinghast 
  One.
  2. Or were created by the Elder Things, as certain carvings from 
  the Antarctic darkly hint. 
  hanging around with Walsingham; later on, Dashwood’s 
  Hellfire Club was packed with spies and more recently, 
  you had people like Jasper Maskelyn running around with 
  Military Intelligence making the Suez Canal disappear. It 
  is hardly surprising, then, that the modern age of sorcery 
  began in the secret depths of British intelligence… more 
  or less.
  The greatest wizard of the 20th Century was Alan Turing. 
  He is better known, of course, as the father of computing 
  theory. The Church-Turing thesis basically states that 
  anything computable can be done by a Universal Turing 
  Machine, aka a computer, and that is not as recursive as it 
  sounds. It puts limits on what computers can achieve within 
  the lifetime of this universe; it means certain problems are 
  unsolvable by calculation. In computer science, it is one of 
  the fundamental tenets.
  The trouble is, in 1941, Turing himself came up with a 
  theorem that disproved the Church-Turing hypothesis 
  and here is where things get messy. Put simply, the Turing 
  Theorem… no, it is too complicated to put simply. Let me 
  analogise wildly. Imagine the platonic realm of mathematics, 
  the infinite plane of numbers. This plane exists in all possible 
  realities. You do a calculation in our universe and it, well, 
  echoes in that wholly imaginary platonic realm. Assuming 
  that it is the right calculation – technically, all spellcasting 
  is a variation on the Dho-Na curves, popularised by certain 
  long-dead star-headed sea cucumber civilisations3.
  Now, assume there is another universe, a whole stack of 
  them in fact, extending above and below ours. (Don’t try to 
  imagine this; it will give you a headache4.) In a vanishingly 
  small number of these universes, there are Things. These 
  Things have Minds and these minds can also imagine the 
  platonic realm of mathematics. You do the right calculation, 
  cause the right ripples and you attract the attention of 
  Things. You can even get the Things to do Stuff. Stuff 
  starts off with blowing every form of cryptography out of 
  the water, moves onto raising spirits from the vasty deep 
  and zapping your enemies with boils and goes right up to 
  Opening The Way for bigger, nastier Things to crawl into 
  your skull, or worse, our universe. 
  And to Them, our universe tastes good with ketchup.
  3. At least, we hope they are long-dead.
  4. If you are lucky. If not, it will not be your head anymore. 
  ‘The laundry deserves a moment’s notice.’   
  — M. R. D. Foot, from the foreword to The Secret History of  SOE
  Capital Laundry  
  Services
  The Laundry
  6
  
  7
  ChapTer One
  1 - The Laundry
  Deep breath. If your eyes glazed over about three 
  paragraphs back, that is fine. Just remember that spells are a 
  form of abstruse computation, which means you can warp 
  reality by running the right program on your laptop. 
  Turing came up with his hypothesis back in 1941, when 
  he was working at Bletchley Park and foiling dastardly 
  Nazi encryption with two-fisted British cryptanalysis. The 
  practical side of the whole ‘the right computation can 
  summon demons’ theorem got turfed over to the Special 
  Operations Executive (SOE). The SOE was the offensive, 
  hell-raising5 side of intelligence, a bunch of cowboys who 
  were looked down on by the refined, upper-class6 spies 
  of Special Intelligence Services (SIS). Churchill had told 
  SOE to ‘set Europe ablaze’ by training spies, saboteurs and 
  sorcerers in England and parachuting them into occupied 
  territory.
  By the end of the war, SOE was also heavily involved in 
  taking down the Nazi occult warfare sections. The SS’s 
  Ahnenerbe picked up a lot of tricks from the old Thule-
  Gesellschaft and while they were behind the Allies in terms 
  of efficient computational sorcery, they were a lot more 
  willing to use… sacrifices. There’s power in death and the 
  Final Solution was part of a vast incantation that – if it 
  worked – would have changed the course of history. Hitler 
  spent a lot of time in the bunker ranting about the wonder-
  weapons that could still win the war and even with the 
  Russians marching into Berlin, he could still have won if 
  his sorcerers cracked the problem. The power of the Elder 
  Gods dwarfs the power of the atomic bomb. 
  The Special Operations Executive was dissolved after 
  the war, ostensibly because of pressure from SIS, which 
  mutated into MI5 and spawned a thousand spy novels 
  and sexed-up dossiers. In truth, there is a small part of 
  Whitehall that is forever SOE, and that is the Laundry.
  5. Literally. 
  6. To which the Laundry tends to mutter ‘Cambridge Five’ 
  under its collective breath, ignoring the fact that Kim Philby was 
  involved in SOE.
  The Laundry – the name comes from the organisation’s 
  original offices, which were above a Chinese laundry 
  in Soho – is the remains of SOE’s old occult warfare 
  department, now with authority over all occult espionage 
  and weird sorcery in the United Kingdom7. It has suffered a 
  sea-change into something… well, terminally underfunded 
  and very, very strange. 
  Today, the Laundry is:
  • 
  One of the pre-eminent occult espionage organisations 
  in the world
  • 
  A dumping ground for people who saw too much 
  and who now get a sinecure and a state pension in 
  exchange for not screaming ‘Iä! Iä! Shub-Niggurath’ to 
  the News of  the World.
  • 
  An asylum where the crazies are given a budget and a 
  summoning grid to play with8.
  You work for the Laundry. Most of the time, this means 
  going to meetings, filling out forms, filing reports, arguing 
  capitalisation budgets and enduring the Machiavellian 
  machinations of Human Resources9. It combines the 
  thrilling excitement of a menial office job with the dazzling 
  action of ISO9001 certification and a bureaucracy that’s not 
  so much Byzantine as it is cyclopean. Sometimes, they send 
  you on missions, which combines the thrilling excitement 
  of Things Trying To Eat You with the dazzling action of 
  Running Away10. 
  Still, the alternative is far, far worse. They call it CASE 
  NIGHTMARE GREEN.
  7. Also Jersey, Guernsey and the Isle of Man. 
  8. You may fall under multiple categories. 
  9. Ironically, not always human themselves. 
  10. If you fail, you may end up as a Residual Human Resource.
  Cabling Meeting - 11am, room 118 - Send PFy
  hr - form CF530 before Tues. ask Mo.
  PICK uP dry CLeanInG!!!
  
  8
  The Laundry
  ACTION THIS DAY:
  1. The establishment of Special Operations 3, to pursue 
  unconventional warfare methods not explicitly banned under 
  Secret Codicil IV of the Hague Convention.
  2. SO3 is also to investigate and counter enemy use of same.
  3. As per our discussion of report 443/10 on the work of Mr. 
  Turing, SO3 will liaise with Bletchley Park and determine the 
  full scope of the theorem’s implications.
  4. All unconventional assets and files relating to same are to 
  be reclassified and transferred to SO3.
  5. Execute this on extreme priority and report to me that this 
  had been done.
  — Winston Churchill
  
  9
  2 how To PLay
   
  ChapTer TwO
  how to play
  How To Use This Book
  Welcome to The Laundry roleplaying game! 
  Using this book as a guide, you and your friends can create 
  your own Lovecraftian espionage adventures, inspired by 
  Charles Stross’s Laundry books.
  What is the Laundry series?
  The Laundry is a series of books and short stories by 
  Charlie Stross, chronicling the life and times of Bob 
  Howard, network administrator by day and computational 
  demonologist by night. If you have not read them, you 
  probably should. This game is based on them, after all. You 
  can play the game without reading the books, but the Game 
  Master should at least be familiar with The Atrocity Archives. 
  What is a Roleplaying Game?
  Welcome to the hottest and fastest-growing hobby of, er, 
  1977.
  We will assume that you are familiar with computer 
  roleplaying games, where a bunch of sword and/or laser-
  wielding thugs with personality issues smite monsters for 
  loot and XP in a variety of colourful locales. (Tabletop) 
  roleplaying games are just like that, only instead of a 
  computer, one of the participants is the Game Master. The 
  GM describes the scene for the other players and adjudicates 
  the results of their actions, often by throwing some dice1. 
  So, it goes something like this:
  Player: I open the door into the next room.
  GM: You see an orc armed with a battleaxe guarding a chest.
  Player: I enter into a frank and meaningful dialogue with 
  the orc, validating his right to guard chests but not pigeon-
  holing him into a stereotype, in the hopes of restructuring 
  the traditional adventurer/monster antagonistic relationship 
  into something more positive and mutually beneficial.
  GM: Roll 1d20 against your Charisma skill.
  Player: I succeed.
  GM: The orc is moved by your rhetoric. Casting his battle-
  axe aside, he sits down on the chest and invites you to join 
  him in a brain-storming session about ways to revitalise 
  the decaying subterranean infrastructure and society of the 
  dungeon, perhaps with a –
  Player: While he is distracted, I stab him with my sword.
  1. Either on the table, to provide a random number as part of a 
  non-deterministic way of determining the success or otherwise 
  of a player’s action, or at the player if he suggested something 
  stupid. 
  What is Capital Laundry Services: The 
  Roleplaying Game?
  Why, it is the very book that you hold here in your mortal 
  hands (or that you read here on the screen). Prospective 
  players should read through the Player’s Section starting on 
  page xx; Game Masters should skim the Player’s Section, 
  then delve into the arcane mysteries of the GM’s domain, 
  starting on page XX.
  What Do I Need?
  Other than this book and a few friends, you need a character 
  sheet (photocopied from page XX, or downloaded from 
  www.cubicle7.co.uk), some dice (at least 1D4, 1D6, 1D8 
  and 2D10), pencils and notepaper. A single session of play 
  usually lasts between two and four hours. 
  How Do I Play The Game?
  Firstly, you will need to create a character. The rules for 
  generating characters can be found in Chapter 4: Character 
  Creation. Your Player Character is an employee of Capital 
  Laundry Services, the UK’s premier – ok, only – counter-
  occult intelligence agency. For one reason or another, you 
  have joined the Laundry and been placed on the active 
  service roster. You and the other Player Characters will be 
  sent on missions by the Laundry, to investigate weird events 
  and thwart evil cultists. Between missions, you will fulfil 
  some vital role in the Laundry’s bureaucracy.
  The basic rules are in Chapter 3: Basic Rules; players 
  should be familiar with these. Later chapters (5: Skills, 
  6: System and Combat, 7: Damage and Healing, 8: 
  Sanity) contain special-case rules, which you can consult 
  as needed. 
  The Laundry’s structure is described in Chapter 9: The 
  Laundry. Your equipment is listed in Chapter 10: Tools of  
  the Trade and rules for getting equipment are in Chapter 
  11: Budgets, Requisitions and Training. Chapters 12 
  and 13, The Directory and Counterparts and Other 
  Powers describe other organisations and agencies you may 
  encounter. Chapter 14: Sorcery describes computational 
  demonology. 
  Chapter 15: Security Best Practises is an in-character 
  guide to Laundry operations; Chapter 16: Expectations 
  of  Play is a guide on how best to roleplay your character.
  
  10
  The Laundry
  How Do I Game Master?
  Start by turning to Chapter 17: Expectations of  Game 
  Mastering, which describes the role and techniques of 
  GMing. There is a list of characters from the novels in 
  Chapter 18: Laundry Personnel to use as a ready-made 
  cast, while chapters 19, 20 and 21 (The Archives, Known 
  Threats and CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN) describe 
  the dangers facing the Laundry.
  Players may read those chapters too, if they wish, but 
  remember that your character does not know everything 
  that you know – and you will have more fun by discovering 
  secrets in play than by reading them in this book. Even if 
  you succumb to temptation and read the GM’s section, do 
  not read Chapters 22, 23 or 24 – these are sample missions 
  and should be not be read by prospective players.
  GlOSSArY
  Basic roleplaying (BrP): The 
  rules system used in the 
  Laundry roleplaying game.
  Check: A checkmark placed 
  next to a skill, to show that 
  the player may try to improve 
  it.
  CHA: Charisma. 
  Characteristic: Any of CHA, 
  CON, DEX, EDU, INT, POW, SIZ, 
  STR – see page 11 for details.
  CON: Constitution. 
  DEX: Dexterity.
  d6, d8, d10: The ‘d’ means 
  dice – a d6 is a six-sided 
  die, a d8 is an eight-sided 
  die and so on. See page 11. 
  EDU: Education.
  Game 
  Master 
  (GM): 
  The 
  participant 
  who 
  sets 
  the 
  scene, 
  runs 
  the 
  mission 
  and 
  plays 
  the 
  Non-Player 
  Characters. 
  HP: Hit Point.
  INT: Intelligence.
  Non-Player Character (NPC): A 
  character run by the GM; one 
  of the villains or supporting 
  cast.
  Player: A participant who 
  portrays a Player Character.
  Player 
  Character 
  (PC): 
  A 
  character run by a player; 
  one of the protagonists and 
  heroes.
  POW: Power.
  roll: A test of a characteristic 
  or skill; to make a roll, throw 
  the appropriate dice (usually 
  D100) and try to get under 
  the relevant characteristic 
  or skill.
  SAN: Sanity.
  SIZ: Size.
  Skill: A learned ability – 
  see page 15 for details.
  STr: Strength.
  we could use this as a training manual for 
  new recruits as part of orientation kit...
  
  11
  3 BaSIC ruLeS
   
  ChapTer Three
  Now that you’re familiar with the world that the Laundry 
  operates in, it is time to become familiar with the rules that 
  determine what your characters can and cannot do, how well 
  they succeed… and, unfortunately, how badly they screw up. 
  The Laundry Roleplaying Game uses Basic Roleplaying (BRP), a 
  percentile-based game system behind several of the world’s 
  most popular game systems, including the Lovecraftian 
  horror-based Call of  Cthulhu and many other games. Because 
  of the decades-long connection between the horror works 
  of H.P. Lovecraft and the Basic Roleplaying system, it is the 
  ideal system for handling the exploits of Bob Howard and 
  his peers… your Player Characters. 
  This chapter familiarises you with the rules you will be 
  using while playing in the world of the Laundry, while later 
  chapters go into more depth about how the rules work in 
  a variety of situations. Some information may be repeated, 
  though the second time around it will be in more detail. This 
  way, you will understand enough about how the rules work 
  for you to create a character and the further you read in 
  the rulebook, the more you will know about how different 
  aspects of the rules come into play.
  The d100 System 
  Though it uses several other types of dice, BRP uses 
  percentile dice as the primary means of determining success 
  or failure for a task. In BRP, percentile dice (abbreviated as 
  d100) are rolled whenever you or the Game Master need 
  to determine whether an action succeeds or fails. Just as 
  someone might say that there is a 60% chance of rain, 
  actions such as skills, attacks, or other activities are rated by 
  percentages. 
  Rolling Dice 
  Percentile dice (d100) are two 10-sided dice (d10s) rolled 
  together, with one representing the tens digit and the other 
  representing the ones digit. You can roll the same die twice 
  to get a percentile result, or roll them together, paying 
  attention to which d10 is the tens and which d10 is the ones. 
  Some specialty d10s are even numbered 10, 20, 30 and so 
  on, making this much easier. Other dice that you use in this 
  system are four-sided (d4), six-sided (d6) and eight-sided 
  (d8), as well as using the d10 by itself. When the rules call 
  for you to roll percentile dice, roll d100 as described and you 
  will be fine. The d100 roll handles almost every action that 
  your characters will attempt. 
  Other types of rolls may call for multiple dice, such as three 
  six-sided dice (3d6), a six-sided die plus a four-sided die 
  (d6+d4), or a die roll modified by another number, such 
  as d6-1. In other cases, you may be asked to divide a roll in 
  half (such as rolling a d6 and dividing the result by 2), or 
  double a roll, such as 2d6 x 2. You should always round up 
  to the next whole number if the result is a fraction and if a 
  dice roll has something added to or subtracted from it, add 
  the modifier to the dice total before dividing or multiplying. 
  If you are doing multiple tasks, such as d4+1+d6 x 2, add 
  the dice results together, add the modifier and then multiply 
  (or divide). 
  When Do You Roll Dice? 
  Though there is an element of uncertainty in almost 
  anything a person does, with a chance of success and of 
  failure, this does not have to be simulated through these 
  rules. These rules assume that roles are made when it is 
  dramatically important, such as whether success or failure 
  will have an impact on the outcome of the mission. 
  Your character should not have to make a Language roll 
  to see if they are able to talk to their boss, a Drive roll to 
  commute normally to work or a Computer Use skill roll to 
  check daily email. On the other hand, your character should 
  have to make a Language roll to see if they can decipher 
  a message spoken in ancient Enochian, a Drive roll when 
  fleeing a carload of angry cultists at reckless speeds on 
  the Autobahn or a Computer Use skill roll to hack into a 
  heavily-encrypted mainframe from an outside line. 
  The Game Master should inform the players when rolls are 
  required. The rest of the time, it can be assumed that your 
  character’s successes and failures reflect their general level 
  of competency and do not have life-changing results. 
  Characteristics
  Characters (and some objects) are measured in a few 
  different ways: the most important being characteristic 
  values. Characteristics are measured in a linear scale (4 is 
  better than 3, 18 is better than 17 etc). They describe how 
  strong, tough, large, smart, wilful, agile, charming and even 
  how well educated your character is. Generally, human 
  characteristics have a range of between 3 and 18, with the 
  average at 10 to 11. You will learn how to determine your 
  character’s primary characteristics in the next chapter. 
  Basic rules
  ‘I’m no James Bond, with a sexy KGB minx trying to seduce me in every hotel room. That’s about the 
  first thing they drum into you at Capital Laundry Services (‘Washes cleaner than clean!’): life is not a 
  spy movie, work is not romantic, and there’s nothing particularly exciting about the job.’ 
  — The Atrocity Archive 
  
  12
  The Laundry
  The primary characteristics and their uses are: 
  Strength (STR): Strength is the measure of how much 
  physical effort your character is able to put into a task. 
  Someone with a high STR is not necessarily covered in 
  muscles; they could be lean and well-able to use leverage. 
  You can use STR to pick up or move heavy things, to force 
  open doors, carry a lot of stuff and to put an extra bit of 
  hurt into punches or grapples. 
  Constitution (CON): Constitution is how tough your 
  character is when it comes to resisting pain, injury and 
  disease. Someone with a high CON is healthier than 
  someone with a low CON: they generally get sick less and 
  are harder to kill. Constitution is used to determine how 
  much damage your character can take before dying, how 
  easily they resist becoming sick or poisoned and how much 
  exertion they can perform before becoming tired. 
  Size (SIZ): Size is less straightforward than other 
  characteristics, as it can be interpreted in a few different 
  ways. A character with high SIZ can be extremely tall, or 
  can be very broad. Size is used in determining how much 
  damage a character can take (larger people have more mass 
  to hurt) or inflict (bigger characters can often hit harder), 
  among other things. 
  Intelligence (INT): Intelligence is a measure of how smart 
  your character is. It is not about how much they know but 
  how able they are to use what they know. A character with a 
  high INT generally learns faster and has likely picked up the 
  basics of a large number of skills. INT can also represent 
  how quick-thinking your character is in a pinch. You use 
  INT to figure out things, make educated guesses where no 
  applicable skill jumps to mind and while learning. 
  Power (POW): Power represents a few intangible aspects 
  of your character, from willpower, internal drive, magical 
  potential, to simple dumb luck. A character with a high 
  POW is usually luckier than everyone else and is usually 
  more ‘connected’ to the ebb and flow of the universe than 
  someone with a low POW characteristic. You use POW 
  to determine how much magical ‘juice’ your character has 
  (more on this later) and how lucky they are. 
  Dexterity 
  (DEX): 
  Dexterity 
  measures 
  hand-eye 
  coordination, raw speed and general physical agility. A 
  character with a high DEX is catlike and may be a natural 
  athlete, while someone with a low DEX is probably 
  clumsier, slower and all thumbs. Dexterity determines when 
  you character is able to act in a round, it figures into your 
  character’s starting Dodge skill and it affects other skills and 
  actions requiring physical speed or agility. 
  Charisma (CHA): Charisma is a measure of personal 
  magnetism, an intangible measure of force of character 
  and appeal. Like many characteristics, it can be described 
  in a few ways: how likeable or attractive your character is, 
  how authoritative and compelling or even how influential 
  they are in personal relationships. A character with a high 
  CHA is very noticeable in a crowd, regardless of how they 
  look, while someone with a low CHA does not attract much 
  attention. 
  Education (EDU): Education covers formal schooling, 
  roughly equating to one EDU point per year of education. 
  It can also cover knowledge gained through a well-lived life, 
  representing knowledge gleaned from experience, reading 
  or general observation about life. A low EDU represents 
  someone essentially unschooled, such as a small child 
  or amnesiac, while a high EDU score indicates years of 
  school and even higher education. The EDU characteristic 
  determines how many points your character has in their 
  professional skills and can serve as a general guide to how 
  sophisticated and worldly they can appear. 
  Characteristic Rolls
  Characteristic rolls are based on all but one of the primary 
  characteristics described above (SIZ does not have an 
  associated characteristic roll) and they are used frequently 
  when your character attempts an action that is not 
  represented by a specific skill or a resisted roll. You will learn 
  more about skills and resistance rolls later but characteristic 
  rolls are almost as important. 
  Effort (STR x 5): The Effort roll is an easy way to 
  determine if your character is able to do something relating 
  to physical strength that is not addressed by a skill or a 
  resistance roll. For an example of a suitable Effort roll, your 
  character might need to pull their body up into a ventilation 
  shaft by their hands. 
  
  13
  3 BaSIC ruLeS
  BaSiC ruLeS
  Endurance (CON x 5): Endurance rolls are used to 
  determine whether or not an activity tires your character 
  out. If they are doing something that might involve a lot of 
  effort, such as running a great distance, the Game Master 
  might call for an Endurance roll. 
  Idea (INT x 5): The Idea roll is used to determine if your 
  character is inspired to make a guess about something that is 
  not obvious, such as an intuitive leap based on existing facts. 
  The Game Master may ask you to make an Idea roll for your 
  character to determine if they know something that you, 
  the player, do not know. Similarly, you may be required to 
  succeed in an Idea roll if the Game Master thinks that your 
  character would not easily be able to recall something.
  Luck (POW x 5): The Luck roll is used to determine 
  if fortune favours your character in any instance where 
  luck, not skill, is an option. If your character was flipping 
  a coin to determine heads or tails, or guessing the answer 
  to a multiple choice question when they had no idea what 
  the correct answer is, the Luck roll would be used. Luck 
  has additional uses, explained in Chapter 6: System and 
  Combat. 
  Agility (DEX x 5): Though many physical tasks are covered 
  by more specific skills, the Agility roll may be used for 
  simple situations, like catching something that was dropped, 
  or running on an icy surface. 
  Influence (CHA x 5): The Influence roll is used in simple 
  situations where communication has not occurred and 
  appearance is the primary factor. Your character might use 
  the Influence roll to be noticed in a crowd among a number 
  of other people, or quickly impress (and bypass) a doorman 
  with a confident stare and purposeful stride.
  Know (EDU x 5): The Know roll is used to determine 
  whether your character knows some piece of basic 
  information about the world, ranging from current events, 
  general etiquette, common cultural history to even trivial 
  information. Your character might need to make a Know 
  roll to recognise the name of a minor villain on an episode 
  of Star Trek or the name of the current Prime Minister 
  of Bulgaria. The Know roll may also be used for current 
  events, such as knowing that there was a recent robbery in 
  the rare books collection at Miskatonic University. 
  When Do You Use a Characteristic Roll? 
  Characteristic rolls are not as commonly used as skill rolls 
  or resistance rolls and generally are only used when a 
  simple task is being accomplished that does not have an 
  immediately obvious skill or resistance value associated with 
  it. The most frequently-used characteristic rolls will likely be 
  the Idea roll, the Luck roll and the Know roll. Characteristic 
  rolls can sometimes also be used temporarily in place of 
  an actual skill roll, such as using an Agility roll to juggle 
  two items, even though the Sleight of Hand skill would 
  represent actual training with juggling. 
  Derived Characteristics 
  The primary characteristics (STR, CON, SIZ, INT, POW, 
  DEX, CHA, EDU) define the backbone of your character. 
  Other characteristics are derived from those values and are 
  multiplied, added together, averaged or equal to the primary 
  characteristics. Derived characteristics (other than SAN) 
  may be affected if the associated characteristics are altered, 
  so if this happens, you should recalculate the derived 
  characteristic values. 
  Hit Points (HP)
  For humans, Hit Points are determined by averaging 
  CON and SIZ (adding them together and dividing by two) 
  and rounding up. When you determine your character’s 
  Hit Points (HP), you should circle that number on their 
  character sheet. Hit Points are a measure of how much 
  damage your character can take through injury, poison 
  and so forth, before dying. When your character has all 
  of their Hit Points, they are uninjured and are (more than 
  likely) healthy. When they lose all of their Hit Points, they 
  are dead. You will read more about Hit Points, damage and 
  healing in Chapter 7: Damage and Healing. 
  When Do You Lose Hit Points? 
  Your character loses Hit Points (HP) through injury, whether 
  it comes from combat or physical mishaps. Additionally, 
  poisons, disease or exposure to radiation can also cause Hit 
  Point loss. A healthy and uninjured character has all of their 
  Hit Points. When your character reaches 1 or 2 Hit Points, 
  they are unconscious and at 0 Hit Points your character will 
  die. If your character loses more than ½ their normal total 
  Hit Points in a single injury, they may suffer a major wound, 
  a condition with unpleasant physical results. Characters 
  regain lost Hit Points through medical attention and natural 
  healing. 
  Major Wounds 
  Your character’s major wound threshold is equal to half 
  their Hit Points, rounded up. If it is not immediately 
  obvious, major wounds are bad news. If your character 
  loses this many Hit Points in damage from a single source, 
  the Game Master should roll on the Major Wound table on 
  page 65 to determine what sort (if any) of major wound 
  has been suffered. Major wounds are usually pretty nasty 
  and may have other unfortunate side effects, such as loss of 
  characteristic points through specific injury. 
  Damage Modifier (DM)
  The bigger and stronger your character is, the harder they 
  are able to hit other people with bare hands or weapons. 
  Similarly, smaller and weaker characters do not do as 
  much damage when they strike an opponent. The Damage 
  Modifier (abbreviated as DM) is an extra die, added to or 
  subtracted from damage, normally rolled for a hand-to-
  hand attack. You will determine your character’s Damage 
  Modifier in the next chapter, Chapter 4: Creating Your 
  Character. 
   
  ChapTer Three
  
  14
  The Laundry
  Sanity (SAN)
  Sanity Points (abbreviated as SAN) are a reservoir of your 
  character’s stability, a pool of psychological fortitude that 
  enables them to withstand the mind-shattering effects 
  of experiencing horrors from the lower reaches of the 
  Mandelbrot set. Your character’s initial Sanity Points are 
  equal to POW x 5. 
  To make a sanity roll, you must roll d100 and try to get below 
  or equal to the character’s current Sanity Point total. If the 
  roll fails, your character loses Sanity Points and in cases of 
  extreme threats to sanity, a successful roll sometimes only 
  means that fewer Sanity Points are lost. Losing Sanity Points 
  represents a chipping away at mental fortitude, causing your 
  character to slowly lose their grip on reality. Sudden loss of 
  a significant number of Sanity Points can cause temporary 
  or permanent insanity. 
  Sanity Point loss, sanity and insanity are covered in more 
  detail in Chapter 8: Sanity and Insanity and the Cthulhu 
  Mythos skill is covered in Chapter 5: Skills. 
  When Do You Make a Sanity Roll? 
  You need to make a sanity roll for your character whenever 
  they come face-to-face with graphic scenes of bloodshed or 
  carnage, are put in horrific situations, suffer personal trauma, 
  commit violent acts, encounter supernatural phenomena or 
  creatures or encounter other similarly challenging situations 
  or occurrences. When your character fails a sanity roll, they 
  lose an amount of Sanity Points (SAN), usually based on 
  how horrible the experience was. More powerful experiences 
  or especially horrifying beings may even cost Sanity Points 
  if the roll was successful. 
  Move (MOV)
  Move (MOV) represents how far your character can move 
  in a 12-second period (a ‘round’). All humans have a Move 
  of 10, though this may be adjusted by injury or special 
  conditions. Unlike most characteristics, Move has a flexible 
  value of 1 to 5 metres, though typically each point of Move 
  represents one metre, meaning that the average human can 
  move 10 metres in a round, normally. Movement is covered 
  in more detail in Chapter 6: System and Combat but 
  the Move characteristic is rarely used outside of resolving 
  chases. 
  Experience Bonus (½ INT)
  Generally, a high intelligence means that learning new skills 
  and improving existing ones comes easily. To determine 
  your character’s experience bonus, divide their INT by 
  2, rounding up. When you check to determine if your 
  character learned from successfully using a skill, add the 
  experience bonus to the learning roll. Experience is covered 
  in Chapter 6: System and Combat. 
  When Do You Use Derived 
  Characteristics? 
  You will more-than-likely use derived characteristics more 
  often than characteristics themselves. Derived characteristics 
  come into play when your character: gets injured (Hit Points); 
  is really injured (major wound threshold); hits someone 
  (Damage Modifier); sees or experiences something horrific 
  (Sanity Points); runs or walks while in a combat situation 
  (Move); or tries to improve their skills through experience. 
  So, realistically, your character can count on hitting most 
  or all of these circumstances during or immediately after a 
  field assignment! 
  As Hit Points and Sanity Points are all temporary values 
  and are lost, spent and gained throughout the course of 
  an assignment, the character sheet has these values listed in 
  fields of numbers. It is a good idea to draw a box around 
  the normal maximum and lightly circle your current total, or 
  lightly cross off the values as the points are lost, erasing the 
  cross-marks when the points are regained. 
  ha! Lunch exists between keyboard and chair...
  
  15
  3 BaSIC ruLeS
  Skills
  Most of the tasks that your character will attempt are based 
  on skills. A skill is a particular kind of expertise representing 
  a combination of learned knowledge, natural ability and 
  general aptitude. Your character’s skills can improve through 
  experience, practice and study. Every skill is rated on a scale 
  from 0% to 100%. This percentage is called the skill rating. 
  Just as you might say about the weather that there is a 40% 
  chance of rain, you would say that your character has a 40% 
  chance of hiding or a 70% of sneaking through a cultist-
  infested house. Determining whether a skill succeeds or not 
  is done with a roll of the dice, as described previously. Skills 
  and their use are covered fully in Chapter 5: Skills.
  When Do You Use a Skill Roll? 
  The majority of dice rolls that you will make are skill 
  rolls. In the world of the Laundry, your character’s value 
  is not measured by who they are but by what they can do. 
  This is best demonstrated through the use of skill rolls. 
  Your character will use skill rolls when attempting to use 
  computers, pick locks, research hidden secrets, bluff their 
  way past a surly guard, spot the visual irregularity that may 
  signify an illusion or ward or when trying to put the hurt on 
  another being. 
  The Resistance Table
  The heart of the system is the resistance table, a cross-
  referenced table providing the chances of success for each 
  party and action where the two parties are working against 
  one another. These are usually described as ‘active’ and 
  ‘passive’ characteristics. The resistance table is based on the 
  concept that equal forces should have a 50/50 chance of 
  success, while numerical superiority or inferiority will alter 
  the chances. The resistance table and resistance rolls are 
  covered fully in Chapter 6: System and Combat.
   
  When Do You Use the Resistance Table? 
  You would use the resistance table whenever you have a 
  clear case of one characteristic opposed to another at a 
  dramatically appropriate point in the game. There is no point 
  in rolling to determine if your character can successfully use 
  his STR to pick up a coffee cup or stack of files but if it 
  is a case of a chase (DEX vs. DEX) or dragging a fallen 
  coworker to safety (STR vs. SIZ), you would use a resistance 
  roll. 
  SUCCESS Or fAIlUrE
  Whenever you roll percentile dice, you 
  are determining whether your character 
  succeeded or failed in whatever they 
  were trying to accomplish, whether 
  it be a characteristic roll, a skill 
  roll or a resistance roll. The chance 
  of success is the chance that you 
  have of succeeding with a roll of 
  percentile dice. The higher the chance 
  of success, the better. Depending on 
  circumstances and the action being 
  attempted, the chance of success may 
  be modified by a number of factors. All 
  of these are described in detail in 
  Chapter 6: System and Combat.  
  BaSiC ruLeS
   
  ChapTer Three
  Cleromancy - casting of lots as divinatory tool. 
  Sufficiently powerful observer can alter probability. 
  Multiple unlikely dice rolls in succession =presence 
  of extradimensional entity.
  
  16
  The Laundry
  You will need a character if you are going to work for the 
  Laundry, so let’s get to it. Your character is a representation 
  of you in the game, a persona you create and define 
  through characteristics, skills and other numerical qualities, 
  then bring life to through roleplaying. Your interactions 
  with other agents, civilians, demons, extra-planar entities 
  and low-level management personnel in the world of the 
  Laundry will be through the filter of your character. 
  While going through this 10-step process of creating 
  an agent character ready for duty with Capital Laundry 
  Services, you are advised to write information down on 
  your character sheet, lightly with a pencil, as you may need 
  to erase and make changes if you wish to re-evaluate a 
  previous decision or amend an existing total. Skill ratings, 
  for example, are very fluid during character creation and it is 
  best to wait until you are done before writing them in firmly 
  on the sheet. Another good idea is to use a sheet of scratch 
  paper for character generation and transfer them to a nice, 
  clean character sheet when you have finished. 
  The Game Master should be able to guide you through this 
  process, though it is presented in such a fashion that no 
  outside help is required (with a handy summary on p20-21). 
  Step One: Identity   
  Write your character’s name in the space provided. In all 
  likelihood, this name will be one the Laundry provides for 
  your character, not the one they were born with (you think 
  Bob Howard is a real name?). Do not worry if your character 
  shares a name with someone famous... that might even be 
  a quick way to identify them, though picking something 
  ridiculous would be a quick way to draw attention to yourself. 
  If you cannot come up with a name yet, hold off until Step 
  Ten and name your character then. You should at least write 
  your own name on the character sheet, as your Game Master 
  may want to hold onto them between game sessions. It is 
  easier to keep track of who is who when your real names 
  are on the sheets. 
  Choose your character’s gender and write it in the correct 
  space. There are no differences between the way male and 
  female characters are created and neither gender has an 
  advantage system-wise. The Laundry is equal opportunity 
  when it comes to putting immortal souls at risk! 
  Step Two: Characteristics  
  Here you determine characteristics, the fundamental values 
  that define the physical and psychological capabilities of 
  your character. As you roll the dice, write the numbers down 
  in the appropriate spots on your character sheet or you can 
  write them on a piece of scratch paper temporarily. 
  Roll 3D6 for the characteristics Strength (STR), Constitution 
  (CON), Power (POW), Dexterity (DEX) and Charisma 
  (CHA). Write the results in the appropriate places on your 
  character sheet. 
  Roll 2D6+6 for the Intelligence (INT) and Size (SIZ) 
  characteristics and write the numbers down on your 
  character sheet.  
  Roll 3D6+3 for Education (EDU) and write it down. 
  These numbers are the framework of your character, 
  determining what characteristics they are strong or weak in. 
  If you wish, you can redistribute up to three points between 
  your characteristics, though you cannot lower or raise them 
  beyond what the normal range of rolled attributes would 
  allow. If you are not satisfied with the characteristics you 
  have, and the Game Master approves, you can erase all of 
  them and start over.
  Step Three: Age
  Your character’s default age is 17+2D6, the age range of 
  Bob Howard and most of his associates when they joined 
  the Laundry. Your character’s starting age must be at least 
  equal to their EDU+5, so if the amount rolled is less than 
  that, adjust the age upwards to that value. 
  If you wish to make your character younger or older, first 
  roll the dice to establish their initial age and then modify 
  their age using these guidelines:  
  Older Characters: For every full 10 years you add to your 
  character’s age, add another 20 professional Skill Points. 
  Keep a note of these: you will spend them in Step Seven: 
  Profession and Skills. Additionally, for every 10 years 
  added to your character’s starting age, add +1 to their EDU 
  ‘By the abjuration of Dee and the name of Claude Dansey I hereby exercise subsection D paragraph sixteen clause 
  twelve and bind you to service from now and forevermore. Right, that’s it. You’re drafted, and may whatever 
  deity you believe in have mercy on your soul.’ 
  — The Concrete Jungle
  Creating your 
  Character
  
  17
  4 CharaCTer
  characteristic. For every 10 years above 40 (starting at age 
  50), you must choose to subtract one point from either 
  STR, CON, DEX or CHA (you pick which). At age 80, 90, 
  100 and so on, you must subtract one point from three of 
  these characteristics.
  Younger Characters: For every year below 19 years old 
  (the minimum age you can roll), subtract 20 professional 
  Skill Points and one point from one characteristic of your 
  choice. 
  Step Four: Characteristic Rolls and 
  Base Skills 
  Now you can determine your character’s characteristic rolls. 
  Multiply each of your characteristics (except SIZ) by five 
  and write the value on your character sheet in the space 
  immediately to the right of the associated characteristic. 
  Two skills are derived directly from characteristics, just as 
  characteristic rolls are. These skills and the characteristics 
  they are derived from, are listed here: 
  Dodge: The starting value for the Dodge skill (described 
  on page 37) is equal to DEX x2. 
  Language (Own): For most characters, Language (Own) 
  means English. This begins at a value equal to EDU x5. 
  Step Five: Derived Characteristics
  Next, determine your character’s derived characteristics, as 
  described in the previous chapter. Write all of these values 
  down on the character sheet in the appropriate spots. 
  Damage Modifier (DM): Add STR + SIZ and consult the 
  Damage Modifier Table. 
  STR + SIZ
  Damage Modifier
  2 to 12
  –1d6
  13 to 16
  –1d4
  17 to 24
  None
  25 to 32
  +1d4
  33 to 40
  +1d6
  41+
  +2d6
  Hit Points (HP): Add CON + SIZ and divide the result 
  by 2, rounding up any fraction. Circle the corresponding 
  number and write the total in the space provided. 
  Major Wound Level: Your character’s major wound level is 
  ½ their Hit Point total, rounded up. 
  Experience Bonus: This value is equal to half of your 
  character’s INT, rounded up. 
  Move (MOV): Human characters can move ten units per 
  round unless hindered in some fashion. Write ‘10’ in the 
  space provided. 
  Sanity (SAN): Multiply your character’s POW characteristic 
  by five to get their current Sanity Point total.
  Step Six: Personality Type
  You may have an idea of the sort of character that you 
  would like to play or their characteristics may suggest their 
  strengths and weaknesses. Here you can decide how your 
  character approaches life and deals with challenges. Choose 
  one of the following options or roll 1d6 for a random result 
  and apply the benefits. If a skill that has specialties does not 
  have specialties defined here, choose any specialty. 
  1. Bruiser. Your character believes that solving problems 
  is best handled through quick application of physical force. 
  Add 20 Skill Points to each of the following skills: Brawl, 
  Climb, Combat (any two), Dodge, Grapple, Insight, Jump, 
  Ride, Sense, Stealth, Swim and Throw.
  2. Master. Your character believes that technique, craft 
  and expertise are the keys to success. Add 20 Skill Points to 
  each of the following skills: Appraise, Combat (any), Craft, 
  Disguise, Dodge, Fine Manipulation, First Aid, Knowledge 
  (any), Navigate, Pilot, Ride, Sleight of Hand and Stealth. 
  3. Thinker. When confronted with opposition, your 
  character’s first instinct is to outsmart their opponent to gain 
  an advantage. Add 20 Skill Points to each of the following 
  skills: Appraise, Bargain, Combat (any), Disguise, Insight, 
  Knowledge (any two), Listen, Research, Sense, Spot, Stealth 
  and any one Technical skill. 
  4. Leader. Your character enjoys calling the shots and 
  persuading others to work. Add 20 Skill Points to each of the 
  following skills: Appraise, Bargain, Combat (any), Command, 
  Etiquette, Fast Talk, Insight, Knowledge (any), Language 
  (any), Language (Own), Perform, Persuade and Sense.
  5. Slacker. Your character has spent their lifetime dodging 
  responsibility and believes that problems are best avoided 
  altogether. Add 20 Skill Points to each of the following 
  skills: Bargain, Bureaucracy, Disguise, Dodge, Fast Talk, 
  Gaming, Hide, Insight, Language (any), Persuade, Sense, 
  Sleight of Hand and Spot. 
  6. Nutter. Your character can safely be categorised as 
  insane, though they are functional and able to work within 
  the organisation of the Laundry. Rational thought and 
  problem-solving methods are neglected: insane leaps of 
  logic are the primary means of attaining goals. Add 20 
  Skill Points to each of the following skills: Command, Fast 
  Talk, Hide, Insight, any two Knowledge skills, Research, 
  Science (any two), Sense, Spot, Stealth and Strategy. Reduce 
  starting SAN by 20 points and assign an appropriate mental 
  disorder. Depending on the disorder, your character may 
  be in therapy or on medication to deal with the symptoms. 
  The Game Master may prohibit this particular option, so 
  ask before you choose this. 
   
  ChapTer FOur
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  18
  The Laundry
  When distributing these Skill Points, add the bonus points 
  to the base chance for each skill. Write that total after the 
  skill, perhaps faintly as you will be adding more Skill Points 
  as character creation progresses. For example, adding 20 
  Skill Points to Fast Talk (base chance 15%) yields a skill 
  rating of 15 + 20 = 35%.
  If a skill says ‘(any)’ after the title, that means that the 
  skill has many specialties. You must choose one of these 
  specialties for each use of the skill. If you want to have 
  multiple specialties, you must choose the skill multiple times. 
  You only get the bonus to one specialty. Write the name of 
  the specialty on the line provided on your character sheet. 
  Step Seven: Profession and Skills 
  At this point, you can choose what your character’s 
  profession was prior to entering the Laundry. The choice 
  of profession provides a good handle on what sort of work 
  they might be doing within the Laundry, but primarily it is 
  a means of determining what starting skills your character 
  will have. 
  Turn to the professions list on page 22. Choose a profession 
  from that list. Once you have chosen, make a note of all 
  of the skills used by that profession. Now it is time to 
  determine how many Skill Points are applied to skills used 
  by that profession. These Skill Points represent what your 
  character used and learned at work, whether through training 
  or on–the–job experience. If a skill that has specialties does 
  not define them here, choose any specialty. 
  Your can distribute a number of Skill Points among 
  professional skills equal to EDU x 20. The total Skill Points 
  available may be modified by age, as described in Step 
  Three: Age. 
  Skill points are added to any Skill Points granted from 
  previous steps and the skill’s base chance. You cannot spend 
  points during this aspect of character 
  creation to raise a skill higher than 75%. 
  Some skills such as Language (Own) may 
  begin at a value higher than 75%, so if 
  the initial chance of the skill is greater 
  than 75% before any Skill Points are 
  added, you cannot add any additional 
  Skill Points at this time. 
  Each profession offers a Wealth Level, 
  representing how much money your 
  character makes and how much they 
  have been able to squirrel away. Salaries 
  and compensation are an infrequently-
  discussed but still binding aspect of 
  the loyalty abjuration, so your character 
  should find it prudent to refrain from 
  discussing salary and compensation with 
  others in the Laundry, regardless of 
  assignment or seniority. 
  Step Eight: Laundry Assignment and 
  Training
  This step represents your character’s assignment and training 
  since joining the Laundry. The choice of assignment does 
  not lock your character down to a particular type of duty, 
  however. Your character will inevitably be subject to the 
  never-ending turf war waged between management of the 
  various divisions, a battle that casts lower-ranking employees 
  (read, ‘your characters’) in the roles of soldiers or collateral 
  damage. Due to the matrix management system and willing 
  (or coercive) cross-division cooperation, your character 
  will likely be sent on a variety of missions outside of their 
  assignment, causing all manner of headaches relating to 
  accurate billing and budgetary allotments. 
  Though it boasts only a few hundred employees, Capital 
  Laundry Services has a large number of internal divisions. 
  The following list contains the ones that are the most 
  appropriate for Player Characters, but there are many other 
  departments listed in Chapter 1: The Laundry. Note that 
  regardless of your assignment within the Laundry, you are 
  also considered to be on active duty and so can expect to be 
  sent on dangerous secret missions for Queen and country.
  Pick one of the following assignments (or roll randomly) 
  and add +10 to each of  the listed skills. If a skill that has 
  specialties does not have specialties defined here, choose 
  any specialty. At this point of character generation, skill 
  ratings can go above 75%. 
  Archives: Bureaucracy, Knowledge (any two), Navigate, 
  Research, Stealth.
  Computational Demonology: Computer Use (any), 
  Computer Use (Magic), Science (mathematics), Science 
  (thaumaturgy), Sorcery.
  
  19
  4 CharaCTer
  Contracts and Bindings: Knowledge (Law), Knowledge 
  (Occult), Persuade, Research, Sorcery.
  Counter-Possession: Bureaucracy, Insight, Knowledge 
  (Occult), Stealth, Sorcery.
  Counter-Subversion: Insight, Knowledge (Espionage), 
  Knowledge (Politics), Research, Technology Use 
  (Surveillance).
  Information Technology: Computer Use (any three), 
  Knowledge (Occult), Technology Use (any).
  Media Relations: Computer Use (Hacking), Fast Talk, 
  Knowledge (Occult), Knowledge (Politics), Research.
  Medical and Psychological: First Aid, Medicine (any 
  two), Research, Science (Biology).
  Occult Forensics: Science (any three), Sense, Spot.
  Plumber: Firearms (any), Knowledge (Occult), Science 
  (Thaumaturgy), Sorcery, Stealth.
  The GM may assign you to a particular role, create more 
  new departments or even ask you to come up with your 
  own nightmare job.
  The next step is your six-week field training course, which 
  normally is assigned to you before you are assigned to active 
  service. This training course involves several short seminars, 
  classes and hands-on, one-on-one instruction for basic 
  certification in a number of fields. The course provides the 
  following benefits: 
  Add +5 to the following skills: Bureaucracy, Computer 
  Use, Fine Manipulation, Firearm (any, usually Pistol 
  or Esoteric), Knowledge (Accounting), Knowledge 
  (Espionage), Knowledge (Law), Knowledge (Occult), 
  Knowledge (Politics) and Spot. 
  Step Nine: Possessions 
  Even though you are going to be a humble civil servant 
  within the Laundry and most of your gear will be assigned 
  as required by the mission, that does not mean that you are 
  penniless or without possessions of your own. Unless there 
  is a solid reason otherwise, your character will have in their 
  immediate possession: 
  • 
  Several sets of clothing appropriate to your character’s 
  personality and assignment. This includes casual and 
  business attire and at least one formal outfit. Depending 
  on your character’s personality, they may have a wide or 
  narrow range of clothes.  
  • 
  An appropriate amount of pocket money and savings 
  based on your character’s standing within the Capital 
  Laundry Services.
  • 
  One or more personal items relating to your character’s 
  family, school or past. This can be in the form of an 
  heirloom, keepsake or some trinket of little relative 
  value but having some emotional connection. 
  • 
  A secure mobile phone (or smartphone).
  • 
  A personal ward, issued by the Laundry, intended to 
  warn your character of any hostile enchantments in the 
  vicinity and to provide some defence against attack. 
  • 
  A warrant card issued by the Capital Laundry Services. 
  This is not to be lost or used frivolously. Abuse of the 
  powers conferred by the warrant card may warrant an 
  internal audit. 
  You may also have some equipment assigned to you, 
  depending on your skills:
  Computer Use (any) 50% or more: A laptop or palmtop 
  computer with the Laundry’s proprietary Occult Field 
  Countermeasures Utility Trunk (OFCUT) installed, in 
  addition to a top-of-the-line encryption package for 
  electronic communications. OFCUT contains Level 
  One versions of banishing, defensive binding, entropy 
  manipulation, exorcism, glamour, scrying and wards (area, 
  personal, and offensive). See Chapter 14: Sorcery for rules 
  on how to use these spells.
  Drive 50% or more: Your character may have a bicycle, 
  scooter, motorcycle or potentially a car. Enjoy the London 
  Congestion Charge.
  Firearms (any) 50% or more: Your character has been 
  issued with, and is authorised to carry, a conventional 
  weapon (mostly likely a pistol). This weapon is kept in the 
  Laundry armoury when you are not on duty.
  More information about smartphones, computers, wards, 
  warrant cards and firearms can be found in Chapter 10: 
  Tools of  the Trade. During the game, you may requisition  
  or be assigned more equipment – see Chapter 11: Budgets.
  Step Ten: Personalising Your Character 
  Here is where you come up with the personal aspects 
  of what makes your character more than just a series of 
  numbers on a page. If you could not think of a name for 
  your character in Step One, now is the time to name them. 
  This is the time to fill in all of the blank spaces that describe 
  your character, mentally and physically, and come up with 
  some ideas about their background. 
  What does your character look like? What colour hair, skin 
  and eyes do they have? Your character’s CHA characteristic 
  may be helpful to determine relative looks. How does your 
  character dress?
   
  Take a look at your character’s characteristics: STR, CON, 
  SIZ, and DEX may be useful to determine size and general 
  build. Sometimes it is easier to base your character on an 
  actor you think would be appropriate. 
  Does your character have any interesting mannerisms or 
  behavioural quirks? Does your character have an interesting 
  or unfortunate reputation? 
  You may wish to determine where your character is from. 
  Where did they go to school? What is your character’s 
   
  ChapTer FOur
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  20
  The Laundry
  PERSONNEL RECORD
  LAUNDRY
  Possessions
  Training courses attended
  IT equipment
  POW
  Pre-loaded spells/apps
  Next of kin/emergency contact
  Name
  Relationship
  Telephone no.
  Address
  Certification
  Psychiatric history
  Disciplinary record
  Spells
  Level
  Cast time
  Notes/page reference
  Notes
  Making your character: Summary
  PERSONNEL RECORD
  Skills
  %
  □ Appraise (15%)
  □ Art (05%)
  □ 
  □ Athletics (10%) 
  □ Bargain (05%)
  □ Bureaucracy (05%)
  □ Climb (40%)
  □ Command (05%)
  □ Computer Use (05%)
  □
  □
  □
  □ Craft (05%)
  □ 
    Cthulhu Mythos (00%)
  □ Demolition (00%)
  □ Disguise (05%)
  □ Drive (20%)
  □ 
  □ Etiquette (05%)
  □ Fast Talk (05%)
  □ Fine Manipulation (05%)
  □ First Aid (30%)
  □ Gaming (10%)
  □ Grapple (25%)
  □ Heavy Machine (05%)
  □ Hide (10%)
  □ Insight (05%)
  □ Jump (25%)
  □ Knowledge (Accounting)
  □ Knowledge (Espionage)
  □ Knowledge (Law)
  □ Knowledge (Occult)
  □ Knowledge (Politics)
  □
  □ Language (Own: INTx5%)
  □
  □
  □ Listen (25%)
  □ Medicine (05%)
  □ Navigate (10%)
  □ Perform (05%)
  □ Persuade (15%)
  □ Pilot (00%)
  □
  □ Psychotherapy (00%)
  □ Repair (15%)
  □ 
  □ 
  □ Research  (25%)
  □ Ride (05%)
  □ Science (see p42)
  □
  □
  □ Sense (10%)
  □ Sleight of Hand (05%)
    Sorcery (00%)
  □ Spot (25%)
    Status (15%)
  □ Stealth (10%)
  □ Strategy (00%)
  □ Swim (25%)
  □ Teach (10%)
  □ Technology Use (05%)
  □ 
  □ Track (10%)
  □ 
  □ 
  STR
  Effort
  %
  CON
  Endurance
  %
  SIZ
  Damage Mod.
  INT
  Idea
  %
  POW
  Luck
  %
  DEX
  Agility
  %
  APP
  Charisma
  %
  EDU
  Know
  %
  NAME
  AGE
  PLAYER
  GRADE
  POSITION
  GENDER
  ASSIGNMENT
  BORN
  PERSONALITY
  DECEASED
  PROFESSION
  WEIGHT
  LINE MANAGER
  HEIGHT
  SUPERVISOR(S)
  MOV
  WEALTH
  EXP BONUS
  LAUNDRY
  HIT POINTS
  MAX.
  MAJOR 
  WOUND
  DEAD
  D -2 -1 0 1 2
  3 4 5 6 7 8
  9 10 11 12 13 14
  15 16 17 18 19 20
  SANITY POINTS
  INITIAL SAN
  MADNESS 
  THRESHOLD
  MAXIMUM SAN
  Insane 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
  15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31
  32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48
  49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65
  66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82
  83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99
  COMBAT SKILLS
  %
  Weapon
  Damage
  Attack
  Special
  Range
  HP
  Ammo
  SIZ
  □ Artillery (00%)
  □ Brawl (25%)
  □ Dodge
  N/A
  □ Firearm (Assault Rifle) (15%)
  □ Firearm (Esoteric) (00%)
  □ Firearm (Exotic) (05%)
  □ Firearm (Pistol) (20%)
  □ Firearm (Rifle) (25%)
  □ Firearm (Shotgun) (30%)
  □ Firearm (SMG) (15%)
  □ Heavy Weapon (various)
  □ Melee Weapon (various)
  □ Missile Weapon (various) 
  □ Throw (25%)
  SECURITY CLEARANCES
  Step One: Identity   
  Who are you? Choose a name and gender.
   Step Two: Characteristics  
  Roll 3D6 for Strength (STR), Constitution (CON), Power 
  (POW), Dexterity (DEX) and Charisma (CHA). 
  Roll 2D6+6 for Intelligence (INT) and Size (SIZ).
  Roll 3D6+3 for Education (EDU). 
  Step Three: Age
  Starting age is 17+2D6 (must be at least EDU+5). 
  For Older Characters: Every full 10 years adds +1 EDU 
  and 20 professional Skill Points (Step Seven). Every 10 years 
  above 40 (starting at age 50), subtract one point from either 
  STR, CON, DEX or CHA. At age 80, 90, 100 and so on, you 
  must subtract one point from three of these characteristics.
  Younger Characters: For every year below 19 years old, 
  subtract 20 professional Skill Points and one point from one 
  characteristic of your choice. 
  Step Nine: Possessions (see p19)
  Step Ten: Personalising Your Character 
  Here is where you come up with the personal aspects of what 
  makes your character more than just a series of numbers on 
  a page. Describe your character, mentally and physically, and 
  come up with some ideas about their background. 
  Take a look at your character’s characteristics: STR, CON, 
  SIZ, and DEX may be useful to determine size and general 
  build. Sometimes it is easier to base your character on an 
  actor you think would be appropriate. 
  Does your character have any interesting mannerisms or 
  behavioural quirks? Does your character have an interesting 
  or unfortunate reputation? 
  You may wish to determine where your character is from. 
  Where did they go to school? What is your character’s 
  relationship with their family like? Does your character have 
  any significant religious or political beliefs? What is your 
  character’s romantic life like? These background details will 
  not play any part at the start of the game but may become 
  important later on.
  
  21
  4 CharaCTer
  Step Four: Characteristic Rolls and Base Skills 
  Multiply each of your characteristics (except SIZ) by five and write the value on your character sheet in the space immediately 
  to the right of the associated characteristic. Dodge skill = DEX x2. Language (Own) = EDU x5. 
  Step Five: Derived Characteristics
  Move (MOV): Human characters have a Move of 10.
  Damage Modifier (DM): Add STR + SIZ and consult the Damage Modifier Table. 
  Sanity (SAN): POW x 5.
  Hit Points (HP): Add CON + SIZ and divide the result by 2, rounding up.
  Major Wound Level: Half the Hit Point total, rounded up. 
  Experience Bonus: This value is equal to half of your character’s INT, rounded up. 
  Step Six: Personality Type
  1. Bruiser: +20 Skill Points to: Brawl, Climb, Combat (any two), Dodge, Grapple, Insight, Jump, Ride, Sense, Stealth, Swim 
  and Throw.
  2. Master: +20 Skill Points to: Appraise, Combat (any), Craft, Disguise, Dodge, Fine Manipulation, First Aid, Knowledge 
  (any), Navigate, Pilot, Ride, Sleight of Hand and Stealth. 
  3. Thinker: +20 Skill Points to: Appraise, Bargain, Combat (any), Disguise, Insight, Knowledge (any two), Listen, Research, 
  Sense, Spot, Stealth and any one Technical skill. 
  4. Leader: +20 Skill Points to: Appraise, Bargain, Combat (any), Command, Etiquette, Fast Talk, Insight, Knowledge (any), 
  Language (any), Language (Own), Perform, Persuade and Sense.
  5. Slacker: +20 Skill Points to: Bargain, Bureaucracy, Disguise, Dodge, Fast Talk, Gaming, Hide, Insight, Language (any), 
  Persuade, Sense, Sleight of Hand and Spot. 
  6. Nutter: +20 Skill Points to: Command, Fast Talk, Hide, Insight, any two Knowledge skills, Research, Science (any two), 
  Sense, Spot, Stealth and Strategy. Reduce starting SAN by 20 points and assign an appropriate mental disorder. The Game 
  Master may prohibit this particular option, so ask before you choose this. 
  Step Seven: Profession and Skills 
  Choose your character’s profession from the list on page 22. You can distribute a number of Skill Points among professional 
  skills equal to EDU x 20. You cannot raise a skill higher than 75% in this step. If a skill begins this step at a value higher 
  than 75%, you cannot add any additional Skill Points at this time. 
  Step Eight: Laundry Assignment/Training
  Pick one of the following assignments (or roll randomly) and add +10 to each of  the listed skills. If a skill that has 
  specialties does not have specialties defined here, choose any specialty. At this point of character generation, skill ratings 
  can go above 75%. 
  Archives: Bureaucracy, Knowledge (any two), Navigate, Research, Stealth.
  Computational Demonology: Computer Use (any), Computer Use (Magic), Science (mathematics), Science (thaumaturgy), 
  Sorcery.
  Contracts and Bindings: Knowledge (Law), Knowledge (Occult), Persuade, Research, Sorcery.
  Counter-Possession: Bureaucracy, Insight, Knowledge (Occult), Stealth, Sorcery.
  Counter-Subversion: Insight, Knowledge (Espionage), Knowledge (Politics), Research, Technology Use (Surveillance).
  Information Technology: Computer Use (any three), Knowledge (Occult), Technology Use (any).
  Media Relations: Computer Use (Hacking), Fast Talk, Knowledge (Occult), Knowledge (Politics), Research.
  Medical and Psychological: First Aid, Medicine (any two), Research, Science (Biology).
  Occult Forensics: Science (any three), Sense, Spot.
  Plumber: Firearms (any), Knowledge (Occult), Science (Thaumaturgy), Sorcery, Stealth.
  All characters also add +5 to the following skills: Bureaucracy, Computer Use, Fine Manipulation, Firearm (any, usually 
  Pistol or Esoteric), Knowledge (Accounting), Knowledge (Espionage), Knowledge (Law), Knowledge (Occult), Knowledge 
  (Politics) and Spot. 
  STR + SIZ
  Damage Mod.
  2 to 12
  –1d6
  13 to 16
  –1d4
  17 to 24
  None
  25 to 32
  +1d4
  33 to 40
  +1d6
  41+
  +2d6
  
  22
  The Laundry
  relationship with their family like? Does your character have 
  any significant religious or political beliefs? What is your 
  character’s romantic life like? These background details will 
  not play any part at the start of the game but may become 
  important later on.
   
  None of these aspects are essential for play, though knowing 
  them can make roleplaying your character much easier. 
  The back of your character sheet has places for additional 
  descriptive or background elements. Fill out as many (or as 
  few) of these as you like and check with the Game Master 
  if any aspects will be relevant to the way other members of 
  the Laundry view your character. 
  Finally, once you have got your character sorted out and 
  know what they are good at and what they might be like in 
  person, it is time to determine where they live. Due to the 
  extremely sensitive information that your characters will be 
  dealing with on a day-to-day basis, it is simply out of the 
  question to allow your character to share living space with a 
  civilian. Capital Laundry Services takes care of this aspect by 
  encouraging appropriate agents to share accommodations 
  with others of their approximate security clearance. So at 
  this juncture, take a look around the table at your fellow 
  players. Now imagine them as their characters. Wave and say 
  hello... these are your new housemates! 
  Character Professions
  These are professions suitable for Laundry Agents. They 
  apply to people who have either been drafted from other 
  branches of civil service or have been conscripted during 
  the course of Laundry activities. Each profession includes 
  a basic description, potential reasons for why the Laundry 
  may have use of the profession, a Wealth Level and a list of 
  professional skills used by members of that profession. All 
  professions are presented in the following format:  
  Title of  Profession 
  This is a description of what members of this profession 
  do, how they may have come into the service of Capital 
  Laundry Services and how they might be utilised by the 
  Laundry. 
  Skills: These skills are the most appropriate skills used by 
  someone in this profession. Your character does not have 
  to have all of these skills, but generally a member of this 
  profession uses some or all of these skills on a regular 
  basis. As noted previously, any skill with ‘(any)’ after the 
  title requires you to pick an appropriate specialty, from a list 
  provided with each skill description in Chapter 5: Skills. 
  Wealth Level: This is an indication of the profession’s 
  general level of salary, savings, availability of credit and 
  financial stability. Wealth levels have been adjusted to 
  account for Laundry salaries. See ‘Wealth Levels’ at the end 
  of this chapter for further information. 
  The list of professions is not exhaustive by any means. 
  Game Masters may create additional professions or may 
  even allow players to create new professions. Information 
  on creating new professions or adapting existing ones is 
  found in Creating New Professions at the end of this 
  chapter. 
  Antiquarian 
  Your career is based in research, procurement, restoration 
  and care for physical items of historical value. Your field 
  of specialty can be general antiques, cultural artefacts, old 
  books, vintage musical instruments, obscure objects d’art 
  and occasionally even religious relics. You may have owned 
  your own shop dealing with the item you specialise in, you 
  might have worked at an auction house or your interest might 
  be solely academic and supported through consultation and 
  published works. Potentially, you may have come to the 
  Laundry’s attention due to your expertise with an artefact 
  of occult significance. Given the chance for greater access 
  to items of tremendous historical significance, you signed 
  up to join the Laundry. 
  Skills: Appraise, Art (any), Bargain, Craft (any), Fine 
  Manipulation, Knowledge (any), Knowledge (History), 
  Research, and two Art, Knowledge, or Science skills as 
  personal specialties.  
  Wealth Level: Average  
  Artist or Designer
  You have made a living through art of some sort, whether it 
  is drawing, website design, painting, sculpture, advertising, 
  photography, mixed media, computer graphics, music, 
  clothing design or some other means of creative expression. 
  As such, you have got an unconscious link into that weird 
  and creative otherspace that brushes up to the realms where 
  the many-angled ones dwell. Maybe something you created 
  incorporated something you saw in a dream and it drew the 
  lIST Of PrOfESSIONS
  Antiquarian
  Linguist
  Artist/Designer
  Military Officer 
  Clerical Worker
  Occultist
  Computer Hacker 
  or Tech
  Parapsychologist
  Consultant
  Philosopher
  Dilettante
  Police 
  Detective/Officer
  Doctor
  Professor/ 
  Scholar/Teacher 
  Engineer or 
  Technician 
  Scientist
  Journalist
  Spy
  Labourer
  Student
  Lawyer
  ha!
  
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  4 CharaCTer
  attention of the Laundry. Perhaps you took an unusual and 
  lucrative commission for some exclusive clients, only to 
  discover that they were occult whack-jobs who wanted to 
  terminate your contract when your work was complete. In 
  any case, you now find yourself employed by the Laundry, 
  as soul-stifling a creative black hole as there ever was. And, 
  horrifically, they like it that way. 
  Skills: Any two Art skills, Craft (any), Insight, Knowledge 
  (any appropriate), Language (any), Language (Own), Listen, 
  Research and Spot. 
  Wealth Level: Average 
  Clerical Worker
  Prior to your entry into the Laundry, you were an office 
  drone, spending your days more-or-less chained to a desk, 
  working in a field where you essentially kept paper moving 
  along the path of its inevitable transformation into money... 
  money for someone else. This profession could represent 
  an accountant or salaried employee in a public or privately-
  owned company, a government agency or some other 
  organisation. You might have had to deal with customers 
  on a regular basis or been cloistered in a dark little cubicle 
  somewhere. Essentially, if you worked at a desk and 
  shuffled papers each day, this was probably your profession. 
  You could have come to the attention of the Laundry in a 
  number of ways, probably accidental. Now you have traded 
  in your fancy ergonomic desk chair and cubicle for a less 
  comfortable desk chair in a dingier cubicle... but you work 
  for the Laundry. 
  Skills: Bargain, Bureaucracy, Computer Use (any), Etiquette, 
  Knowledge (Accounting), Knowledge (any), Knowledge 
  (Law), Language (Own), Persuade and Research. 
  Wealth Level: Average
  Computer Hacker or Technician
  Lines of code, data and other virtual assets are as real 
  to you as the tools and materials of other craftsmen. As 
  you are now aware, with the advent of Turing’s Theorem, 
  computers can be used for computational demonology, 
  making even the simplest terminal the equivalent to a nuclear 
  bomb, only a hungry bomb with an attitude. Your area of 
  expertise may have been coding, network administration 
  or hacking. Regardless, these talents brought you to the 
  attention of the Laundry. Perhaps you were messing around 
  with some outré algorithms for deep fractal exploration 
  and nearly brought about the premature de-urbanisation of 
  Wolverhampton or you were a programmer who discovered 
  some strange subroutines running in the slightly dodgy 
  company mainframe. The next thing you knew, there was a 
  knock at the door and you found yourself seconded to the 
  Laundry. Because of your skill-set, you have got a leg up on 
  the learning curve for computational demonology and the 
  Laundry always has use of tech-savvy individuals like you. 
  Skills: Computer Use (any two), Knowledge (any two), 
  Language (a programming language), Repair (Electrical), 
  Repair (Electronics), Research, Science (Mathematics), 
  Technology Use (any) and choose one of the following 
  skills as specialties: Bureaucracy, Hide or Knowledge (Law). 
  Wealth Level: Average
  Consultant 
  While you have no doubt got a skill-set that would enable 
  you to make a career for yourself within any organisation in 
  your field or would allow you to successfully run your own 
  business, you have nonetheless chosen to turn your aptitude 
  towards the more lucrative field of consulting. You generally 
  provide your expertise to clients at a price, analysing their 
  current needs and providing them with a road-map for 
  optimising their methodology. Usually, this sort of contract-
  based work allows you to make your own hours and choose 
  your own clients. You might work offsite or, in rare cases, 
  be integrated into the organisation that you are consulting 
  for. If you are consulting through a government agency, you 
  may have come into the Laundry through simple expediency, 
  being required to sign the classified Section Three of the 
  Official Secrets Act in order to do business with Capital 
  Laundry Services. Alternately, a great many cultists and 
  would-be world leaders have need of outside help in matters 
  computational and you may have been contracted to work 
  for them, only gradually becoming aware of the nature of 
  what you were working on. Unfortunately, as you are no 
  doubt discovering, the Laundry pays nowhere near as well 
  as the private sector did. 
  Skills: Bureaucracy, Computer Use (any), Fast Talk, Insight, 
  Listen, Language (Own), Persuade, Research and two of 
  the following as personal specialties: Appraise, Bargain, 
  Etiquette, Knowledge (any), Science (any) or Technical Skill 
  (any). 
  Wealth Level: Affluent
  Dilettante 
  You have got enough money that you can do whatever you 
  want and that tends to be dabbling in a number of fields 
  that interest you, whether as hobbies or actual passions. 
  You may have inherited wealth and never applied yourself 
  to a single occupation or perhaps you somehow came into 
  a source of income that did not require dedicated work. 
  You might even be a minor lord or possess some degree 
  of peerage that gained you a position in government where 
  you did not actually have to do anything. The one thing 
  you do well, though, is know folks and your connection to 
  the ‘old boys’ school is strong. Whatever the case, you are 
  without any real work experience and your knowledge of the 
  fields you have followed is ultimately without any practical 
  application. Despite this, you have managed to amass a 
  considerable number of skills or aptitudes and came to the 
  attention of Capital Laundry Services. Now that you are in 
   
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  The Laundry
  the Laundry, you have got the choice: you can continue to 
  hobnob, name-drop, fritter your time away and draw a pay-
  cheque or you can make a real difference and risk life and 
  soul for country. Which will it be? 
  Skills: Appraise, Etiquette and any six of the following 
  skills as personal fields of interest: Art (any), Athletics, Craft 
  (any), Drive (any), Gaming, Knowledge (any), Language 
  (any), Perform (any), Research, Science (any) or Technology 
  Use (any). 
  Wealth Level: Affluent 
  Doctor
  Prior to joining the Laundry, you made it your calling to 
  treat the injured, sick and the needy, using a wide range 
  of diagnostic skills and medical practices gained through 
  years of extensive training and study. Every government 
  organisation has need of qualified medical specialists and 
  Capital Laundry Services is no different. Field agents and 
  operatives encounter or suffer from a distressing number 
  of unusual medical conditions and as such there is a great 
  demand for doctors with security clearance to the degree 
  that the Laundry requires. You may have been brought in to 
  deal with agents suffering from unusual maladies suffered 
  while on the job and a quick geas later, you found yourself 
  a member of the Laundry. 
  Skills: First Aid, Language (Own), Medicine, Persuade, 
  Research, Spot and choose four of the following: Insight, 
  Language (any), Psychotherapy, Science (any) or Science 
  (Biology). 
  Wealth Level: Affluent
  Engineer or Technician 
  Your career was concerned with designing, constructing, 
  repairing or maintaining some form of machinery, 
  mechanical devices or even some aspects of architecture. 
  This could range from work in the motor pool to designing 
  state-of-the-art defence hardware. You may have been 
  brought in at some point in your career to work on some 
  classified aspect of technology related to defence, only to 
  discover that rather than DERA (the Defence Evaluation 
  and Research Agency), you were dealing with Laundry 
  spooks, who quickly had you reassigned and brought over 
  to their branch of Her Majesty’s Service, potentially in 
  Q Division (the very one!). In all likelihood, the Laundry 
  has put you to work analysing, repairing, maintaining or 
  building strange occult weapons or machinery, the likes of 
  which give you nightmares. 
  Skills: Computer Use (any), Craft (any), Fine Manipulation, 
  Repair (any), Technology Use (any) and five of the 
  following: Art (Drafting), Artillery (any), Demolition, Drive, 
  Heavy Machine, Knowledge (any), Pilot (any), Repair (any), 
  Research or Science (any). 
  Wealth Level: Average 
  Journalist 
  Prior to your stint with the Capital Laundry Services, you 
  were a journalist of some sort. You could have been a 
  blogger, a photojournalist, a television reporter, a member 
  of the paparazzi or a writer for newspapers, magazines or 
  books. Regardless, you made your living by investigating, 
  describing and analysing the news and other events. You may 
  have had some level of fame at it or even achieved a degree 
  of notoriety from those you exposed. All of that changed 
  when you came into contact with Capital Laundry Services. 
  You might have been investigating a story, following a lead 
  or gotten too close to the Truth through another means, 
  but it put a quick end to your career as a public source of 
  opinion and knowledge. While the Laundry has had some 
  level of success geasing secrecy out of bystanders, it has 
  never been particularly able to silence journalists. That 
  leaves the choice between a position within the organisation 
  or a quick trip to the morgue. You chose the slower road. 
  Skills: Fast Talk, Insight, Language (Own), Listen, 
  Persuade, Research, Spot and three of the following: Art 
  (Photography), Computer Use (any), Craft (Photography), 
  Disguise, Hide, Knowledge (any), Language (any)  or Stealth. 
  Wealth Level: Average 
  Labourer 
  Prior to (and potentially after) joining the Laundry, you were 
  a blue-collar wage slave, a labourer who did mind-numbing 
  work, paid at an hourly rate. You could have worked on 
  a factory line, in a warehouse, as a delivery person, in a 
  kitchen, waiting tables, sign painting, store clerk or some 
  other form of moderate-to-unskilled labour. You may 
  have had to work with customers at a cash register or you 
  may have been one of the invisible behind-the-scenes folk 
  getting things done, but one thing you were not and that is 
  management. Your entry into the Laundry was likely due 
  to accidental exposure to the paranormal and you should 
  regard this as a step up, career-wise, a chance to make a 
  difference and be recognised for more than just the menial 
  tasks you were previously set to. 
  Skills: Brawl, Climb, Craft (any), Drive, Grapple, Heavy 
  Machine and four others, as appropriate to setting: Appraise, 
  Computer Use (any), Fine Manipulation, Language (any), 
  Repair (Mechanical), Repair (Structural) or Technology Use 
  (any).
  Wealth Level: Poor or Average (player’s choice) 
  Lawyer 
  Your training was in the law, interfacing with the legal 
  system as either a paper pusher or as a solicitor. You may 
  have handled contract law, negotiated settlements in legal 
  disputes, served as private counsel to an organisation or 
  you may even have handled criminal cases on the side of 
  prosecution or defence. Then, through a weirdways step into 
  civil service or an inadvertent brush with the many-angled 
  
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  4 CharaCTer
  horrors that swim in the lower reaches of the Mandelbrot 
  set, you found yourself working for the Laundry. As a civil 
  organization deeply enmeshed in paperwork, the Laundry 
  has an immense need of lawyers. Prior to joining, you had 
  a license to practice law and although you had no authority 
  above or beyond that of the common citizen, your inside 
  knowledge of the inner workings gave you considerable 
  power in Her Majesty’s legal system. Now that you have 
  been inducted into the Laundry, all of that has changed. 
  Your duties with the Laundry include covering many of its 
  questionably-legal activities and you have become aware 
  of the dizzying range of legal power afforded to you while 
  defending your country against unimaginable horrors. 
   
  Skills: Bargain, Bureaucracy, Fast Talk, Insight, Knowledge 
  (any), Knowledge (Law), Language (Own), Perform 
  (Oratory), Persuade and Research. 
  Wealth Level: Affluent
  Linguist 
  Your training involves language and communication, 
  whether facilitating communication between diplomats, 
  hammering out international trade agreements, studying the 
  roots and evolution of languages or translating documents 
  from one language to another. Somehow you came into 
  contact with Capital Laundry Services and were drafted into 
  the organisation. Perhaps you were brought in to identify 
  unusual inscriptions on an bizarre, ancient artefact or your 
  skills were needed to help translate between some of the 
  stranger beings that the Laundry maintains a truce with, 
  such as the original denizens out at Dunwich or others who 
  dwell in the kinds of spaces that gave nightmares to Euclid. 
  Now, your expertise is sought for the eventuality of a first-
  contact scenario with even stranger species and you spend 
  much of your time analysing cryptic documents and blurry 
  photographs of things that should not exist. 
  Skills: Etiquette, Insight, Knowledge (any), Language (any), 
  Language (Own), Listen, Persuade and any three appropriate 
  Knowledge or Language skills as personal specialties.  
  Wealth Level: Average
  Military Officer
  You are an acting officer from one of the many branches 
  of Her Majesty’s armed forces, and in that service, you 
  have attained a rank suitable to your experience and age. 
  Depending on your deployment, you may have actually led 
  troops into battle or you may have seen little or no action. 
  Your presence in the Laundry is no great mystery and needs 
  little explanation: Capital Laundry Services always has need 
  of experienced officers capable of inflicting violence in the 
  name of Queen, country and sanity whilst being able to 
  keep your wits about you in the process. You may be a part 
  of a group such as the SAS or OCCULUS, or even a simple 
  desk jockey with hidden skills and a military demeanour. 
  For the most part, you spend your time on alert, waiting 
  for the call and immediate deployment into hostile territory, 
  whether it be an unassuming office block in Cheltenham or 
  a distant planet in a Nazi-ruled alternate dimension. 
  Skills: Artillery (any), Command, Drive (any), Firearm 
  (any), Navigate, Persuade, Strategy, Teach any two other 
  skills as a personal specialty. 
  Wealth Level: Average 
  Occultist
  You are a student of obscure secrets, hidden lore and 
  magical power, believing in the influence and primacy 
  of supernatural forces. In your quest for supernormal 
  understanding, you studied magic, perhaps as part of an 
  occult organisation or secret society and, in the course of 
  those studies, you came to the attention of the Laundry. 
  Now you have learned the Truth, that most of the tradition 
  of magic is essentially a load of bollocks and that the real 
  course to power sits inside those computers you likely 
  scorned in university. Your induction into the Laundry 
  may have been a result of you stumbling across Things 
  Man Without Security Clearance Was Not Meant to Know 
  or you may even have been a lesser member of a group 
  quashed by Laundry agents. At any rate, now you have been 
  brought up to speed on the big picture and devote yourself 
  to defending the world against the sorts of people you once 
  looked up to. 
  Skills: Fast Talk, Insight, Knowledge (Anthropology), 
  Knowledge (History), Knowledge (Occult), Language (any), 
  Language (Own), Research and any two of the following 
  skills: Computer Use (any), Craft (any), Knowledge 
  (Archaeology), Medicine or Science (any). 
  Wealth Level: Average  
  Parapsychologist 
  As the world has become more connected through electronic 
  communications, the presence of active supernatural forces 
  has become increasingly obvious to those paying attention. 
  You have dedicated your life to following the unusual, the 
  unexplainable, even the horrific and as a result, you more-
  than-likely ran into the Laundry. In short order, you found 
  yourself drafted into civil service, a geas of secrecy placed 
  upon you and your work directed at a scale of horror 
  greater than anything you even imagined. In the Laundry, 
  you are going to find yourself constantly challenged by 
  the everyday approach to the otherworldly, mixed with 
  the mind-numbing dullness of office politics and everyday 
  bureaucracy. Your talents will be put to good use combing 
  through news reports for elements of the outré, with the 
  goal of finding an explanation and manufacturing a cover 
  story. 
  Skills: Fast Talk, Hide, Insight, Knowledge (any), 
  Knowledge (Occult), Listen, Research, Sense, Spot and 
  Stealth.
   
  Wealth Level: Average
   
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  The Laundry
  Philosopher 
  You have spent your prior career pondering the infinite 
  mysteries of life and human existence, whether as a lonely 
  writer, an academic or even as a member of an elite think-
  tank. In the course of your intellectual journeying, you 
  may have become aware that your work has profound and 
  substantial applications in a universe where supernatural 
  threats abound and where thought can cause the very stuff 
  of reality to have a mid-life crisis and reassess its priorities. 
  Philosophy and epistemology have become the fastest 
  growing segments of the defence budget of the great 
  powers and there is no slacking in the metaphysical arms 
  race between Them and Us. You never imagined that you 
  would define yourself as a combat epistemologist, but then 
  you never dared even contemplate half of the things that 
  you are now pressingly aware of. In the Laundry, you’re able 
  to do your work with adequate funding and indescribable 
  resources buried within the archives of official secrets. Plus, 
  there is absolutely no pressure whatsoever to publish. 
  Skills: 
  Insight, 
  Knowledge 
  (History), 
  Knowledge 
  (Philosophy), Language (any), Language (Own), Persuade, 
  Research, Teach and any two Knowledge or Science skills 
  as specialties.
   
  Wealth Level: Average
  Police Officer
  Prior to joining the Laundry, you were a sworn officer, with 
  the legal authority and the jurisdiction to uphold the law and 
  defend the civilian population against lawbreakers or other 
  threats. Your primary tools were the skills of observation, 
  deduction and criminology, as well as the authority that your 
  badge conferred. Depending on your personal style, you 
  may have a wide range of forensic and scientific skills or you 
  might just operate on gut instinct. You were undoubtedly 
  brought into the Laundry when you encountered something 
  beyond your jurisdiction... beyond terrestrial jurisdiction, to 
  be precise. After a quick geas, you found yourself reassigned 
  to duty within the Laundry. Depending on the nature of 
  your encounter, you may be allowed to continue on active 
  police duty or you may be a permanent member of the 
  Capital Laundry Services.  
  Skills: Brawl, Knowledge (Law), Listen, Persuade, Spot and 
  choose five of the following: Brawl, Computer Use (any), 
  Disguise, Dodge, Drive, Fast Talk, Firearm (any), Grapple, 
  Hide, Insight, Knowledge (Streetwise), Language (any) or 
  Stealth.
  Wealth Level: Average
  Professor, Scholar or Teacher 
  Prior to joining the Laundry, you were either a scholar 
  devoted to a specific field of study or you were an instructor 
  who taught individuals or groups, employed by a school, 
  university, private tutelage, think-tank or other some other 
  institution. The nature of your field of study somehow 
  brought you to the attention of the Laundry or one of 
  its many enemies and unfiltered access to your expertise 
  required that you swear by Section Three of the Official 
  Secrets Act and become geased into secrecy in matters 
  relating to the nation’s occult security. You now serve the 
  
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  4 CharaCTer
  Laundry as a fulltime researcher, instructor, consultant 
  or as an expert in your field and are frequently asked to 
  analyse evidence or other artefacts appropriate to your skill 
  set. At other times, you are called on to visit strange and 
  occasionally horrific crime scenes and assess what happened 
  based on your field of knowledge. 
  Skills: Insight, Persuade, Research, Teach and choose six 
  other skills as areas of expertise from the following list: 
  Appraise, Art (any), Computer Use (any), Craft (any), First 
  Aid, Insight, Knowledge (any), Language (any), Language 
  (Own), Listen, Medicine, Psychotherapy, Repair (any), 
  Science (any) or Technology Use (any). 
  Wealth Level: Average
  Scientist 
  You were once employed by a corporation, educational 
  institution, government organisation or were potentially 
  working on your own. In this profession, you explored one 
  or more fields of science through a process of rigorous 
  speculation, experimentation and observation, repeating the 
  process and refining the knowledge of your field. You may 
  have even been actively challenging previously discovered or 
  established data. In some fashion, your work became known 
  to the Laundry and you found yourself in civil service, 
  working for one of Capital Laundry Service’s divisions and 
  continuing your work or even altering it towards previously 
  undreamt-of applications. In the Laundry, you have a fairly 
  robust research budget, access to a wide variety of legal, 
  and questionably legal, research materials and license to 
  transcend conventional safety precautions. Furthermore, in 
  light of the threat that the Laundry combats, you are freed 
  from the burden of most of the ethical or moral concerns 
  that your work may raise, as the alternative is considerably 
  worse. 
  Skills: Computer Use (any), Craft (any), Persuade, Research, 
  Technology Use (any) and any five Knowledge or Science 
  skills appropriate to your field of study. 
  Wealth Level: Average
  Spy
  For an agency as shrouded in cloak-and-dagger activity as the 
  Capital Laundry Services, pure secret agents are surprisingly 
  rare in the organisation. Trained in old school spycraft for 
  work in a clandestine service, you are skilled in subterfuge 
  and infiltration, entering countries or organisations under 
  cover or covertly, finding out their secrets and reporting 
  them back to an enemy or interested party. You may be 
  a relic, educated and indoctrinated under the auspice of 
  Cold War political doctrine, or your training may be more 
  recent, aimed at combating global terrorist organisations. 
  You might have been brought into the Laundry because of 
  exposure to its activities, or because they had need of your 
  particular skill set. As an actual secret agent, you are notable 
  among most of your desk-bound colleagues. 
  Skills: Dodge, Fast Talk, Hide, Listen, Research, Spot, 
  Stealth and three of the following: Art (Photography), Brawl, 
  Bureaucracy, Computer Use (any), Disguise, Etiquette, 
  Firearm (any), Grapple, Knowledge (any), Language (any), 
  Language (Own), Navigate, Pilot (any), Psychology, Repair 
  (Electronics), Repair (Mechanical), Ride, Swim, Technology 
  Use (any), Throw or Track. 
  Wealth Level: Average
  Student
  You have spent your time prior to entering the Laundry 
  in study, whether at university or as a private student in a 
  specialised training course. It may be that you came into the 
  Laundry as an intern or you may have a relative in one of the 
  offices that brought you in as a favour to your parents. Now 
  you find yourself in a bewilderingly Byzantine organisation 
  staffed by an increasingly odd mix of lunatics and hardened 
  killers. Hopefully, you will fit in somewhere, paying close 
  attention, asking the right questions and learning when to 
  keep your mouth shut.   
  Skills: Language (Own), Research and choose eight other 
  skills as courses of study. Common choices are from the 
  following list: Art (any), Athletics, Computer Use (any), 
  Craft (any), First Aid, Insight, Knowledge (any), Language 
  (any), Listen, Medicine, Perform, Persuade, Psychotherapy, 
  Repair (any), Science (any) or Technology Use (any). 
  Wealth Level: Poor or Average (player’s choice)  
  Creating New Professions
  If you have looked through the list of professions and still 
  do not see anything that you like, ask your Game Master if 
  it is all right for you to create a new profession that matches 
  your character concept. This is advised primarily if the 
  character you want to play really falls outside the normal 
  professions provided. 
  First, you should describe the new profession to the Game 
  Master. Determine whether or not the profession you 
  would like to create is already close to another one or if 
  it is something altogether new. If the new profession is 
  nearly identical to an existing one, with the Game Master’s 
  approval you can change up to five of the skills until the 
  new profession matches what you would like your new 
  profession to be. The Game Master should adjust the range 
  for salary.  
  If that does not do the trick and more than five skills need 
  to be swapped out, it is time to create an entirely new 
  profession. Follow these quick steps and you are good to 
  go:  
  1. 
  Decide on the title of the profession. 
  2. 
  Describe the profession to the Game Master, including 
   
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  Wealth Level
  Description
  Destitute
  Your character is penniless and must scavenge for food and drink or rely upon charity. Home 
  is any dry, safe spot. Your character has few possessions other than what they can carry. Your 
  character’s appearance reflects this poverty and they may have difficulty in society due to prejudice 
  against the destitute. No character begins as Destitute. 
  Poor
  Your character has a little money, a place to sleep and food to eat, but their life is filled with little 
  pleasure. Bills may occasionally pile up and there is little to spend on luxuries. Your character’s flat 
  (shared) is humble and in a poor neighbourhood or is far out of town, signalling a long commute. 
  A character begins as Poor only by choice. 
  Average
  Your character has a comfortable income, an average home or flat in a decent neighbourhood and 
  may have a reasonable amount of money in savings, enough for a moderate retirement. Bills are 
  paid on time and your character can splurge occasionally on luxury items. Major purchases must 
  be weighed carefully. 
  Affluent
  Your character is well-off, with income enough to enjoy life to its fullest. Home is a quality house 
  or an excellent flat and your character has enough pocket money to make major purchases without 
  worry. 
  Wealthy
  Your character has vast material wealth from a near-inexhaustible source such as high finance, 
  inheritance or ownership of a lucrative business. Your character has one or more homes of 
  impressive quality, as many vehicles as they would like and enjoys an opulent quality of life. They 
  have social and business opportunities beyond those of any other wealth level. No character begins 
  as Wealthy. 
  what someone from that profession would spend their 
  time doing, what training they might have and how 
  they may have come into contact with the Laundry 
  (and been recruited). 
  3. 
  Choose 10 skills that are essential or would be regularly 
  used by a typical member of this profession. This 
  should also include at least one ‘pick one (or more) 
  from the following’, just as long as the total number of 
  skills is equal to 10. 
  4. 
  Decide an appropriate Wealth level based on the 
  description of the Status skill on page 45 of Chapter 
  5: Skills. 
  The Game Master has the right to veto any inappropriate 
  professions or any skills that seem outside the purview of 
  the profession. 
  Wealth Levels 
  While the specifics of salary, savings, pocket money and 
  possessions are generally of great importance to your 
  character, they are not tremendously important to game 
  play. Wealth is abstracted to levels, which describe your 
  character’s financial situation to a general degree. Game 
  Masters wishing for more detail on salary and additional 
  financial issues are encouraged to consult real-world salary 
  indexes and pricing, as appropriate.  
  Your character rarely changes their wealth level. However, 
  the Game Master may choose to adjust your character’s 
  wealth level based on events during the course of play, such 
  as significant advancement within the Laundry, financial 
  ruin due to some unforeseen mishap or a concerted effort 
  to change one’s financial status.  
  
  29
  5  SKILLS
   
  ChapTer Five
  The average Laundry agent has to make difficult decisions, 
  face unimaginable challenges and accomplish a variety of 
  tasks while on assignment. Most of the important actions 
  your character can perform are defined as skills. This chapter 
  lists all skills, their definitions and how they relate to the 
  tasks that your character will attempt during gameplay. 
  What is a Skill? 
  A skill represents a specific combination of knowledge 
  and aptitude. Every skill is rated on a scale from 0 to 
  100%. This is called a skill rating. Skills define the actions 
  that your character can perform during play and the skill 
  rating is a measure of how good they are at the skill; the 
  higher the better. The list of skills in this book is far from 
  comprehensive: the Game Master is encouraged to create 
  new skills if they are required. There is a section on creating 
  new skills at the end of this chapter. 
  Base Chances for Skills
  Any normal person can swing a knife, instinctually dodge 
  out of the way of harm or speak their native language. 
  Every skill, then, has a base chance. The title of each skill 
  has the base chance in parentheses after it. Your character 
  is assumed to know the skill at this basic rating before any 
  additional Skill Points are added during character generation. 
  Even if no Skill Points have been added, the skill can be 
  attempted at the base chance. If the skill has a base chance 
  of 00%, your character cannot attempt it unless under 
  special circumstances (see ‘Unskilled Actions’ on page 31). 
  Skill Specialties 
  Some skills are quite broad and require that you choose 
  a specialty. Specialties are listed after the skill name in 
  parentheses and should be written on the line next to the 
  skill on your character sheet. For example, Firearm (Pistol) 
  and Firearm (Rifle) are considered two different skills. At 
  the Game Master’s discretion, if your character lacks a skill 
  rating in an appropriate specialty, you can use a related 
  specialty’s rating to make skill rolls. In these cases, the skill 
  use should be considered as Difficult and success will not 
  count for experience towards skill improvement in either 
  skill. 
  Skill Ratings 
  Your character’s skill ratings are simple to understand, 
  though no one in the real world thinks of themselves as 
  having a percentage in a skill. What does a given skill rating 
  mean in more general terms? Following are guidelines 
  to gauge your character’s proficiency in a general sense. 
  Chapter 3: Basic Rules discussed when a skill roll would 
  be required and this section provides additional guidance 
  to supplement the previous information. Under routine 
  conditions, characters with certain skill ratings can perform 
  those skills without needing to roll for success. Alternately, 
  even under ideal circumstances a complete novice may not 
  be able to succeed with advanced uses of a skill. 
  Novice (skill rating of  05% or less): A character with a 
  skill rating this low is a complete amateur with little hope of 
  success, even at Easy tasks. At this low level of competency, 
  you should roll each time you want your character to attempt 
  this skill, regardless of whether they are in a stress-filled 
  situation or the task is routine and under ideal circumstances. 
  A novice succeeding in a task is a freak accident, a stroke of 
  luck apparent to everyone witnessing it. 
  Neophyte (06–25%): A character with a rating in this range 
  is either a beginner or has a small amount of expertise in the 
  subject at hand. Your character gets lucky enough to succeed 
  once in a while. You should roll whenever your character 
  attempts this skill, even if the task is Easy. Generally, even if 
  successful in the task, it appears sloppy and without finesse. 
  Amateur (26–50%): Ratings in this range indicate a little 
  talent, some rudimentary training or hobby–level dabbling 
  in a skill. Your character is barely qualified, though they can 
  usually be trusted to succeed in Automatic or Easy tasks. In 
  non-stressful situations an amateur can perform routine 
  activities relating to the skill without needing to roll. The 
  results will not be spectacular, but acceptable. 
  Professional (51–75%): A skill rating in this range allows 
  your character to make a living using the skill. A professional 
  does not need to worry about failing Easy tasks and is 
  proficient enough to lead or manage others. A 51% rating is 
  roughly equal to a university degree or specialised training. 
  Skills
  ‘The full package is a course in law and ethics (including International Relations 101: ‘Do whatever the nice man 
  with the diplomatic passport tells you to do unless you want to start World War Three by accident.’), the correct 
  use of petty cash receipts, basic tailing and surveillance, timesheets, how to tell when you’re being T&S’d, travel 
  authorization requests, locks and security systems, reconciliation and write-offs, police relations (‘Your warrant 
  card will get you out of most sticky situations, if they give you time to show it.’), computer security (roll around the 
  floor, laughing), software purchase orders, basic thaumaturgic security (ditto), and use of weapons (starting with 
  the ironclad rule: ‘Don’t, unless you have to and you’ve been trained.’).’ 
  — The Atrocity Archive
  
  30
  The Laundry
  A professional can succeed in routine or complex activities 
  relating to the skill most of the time and is only required to 
  roll when there is an element of risk or when the chance of 
  failure is dramatic. 
  Expert (76–90%): Skills in this range indicate advanced 
  expertise in a given field. Your character has a reasonable 
  chance to succeed even at Difficult tasks. Few people ever 
  attain such mastery of a given skill and those who do 
  are respected and relied upon for their expertise. Skills 
  in this rage correspond to advanced university degrees 
  or considerable years of experience. Most characters 
  will not begin play with skills rated higher than 75%. An 
  expert should be able to perform complex and challenging 
  activities relating to this skill under routine circumstances. 
  Master (91% or higher): Only a handful of true geniuses 
  attain this level of mastery. Only the most Herculean tasks 
  are beyond their abilities and their expertise have likely 
  made these masters famous within their field or throughout 
  the world at large. In routine situations a master is able to 
  perform with excellence and should rarely need to roll the 
  dice except for the most difficult of tasks or in the direst 
  of situations. Skill mastery brings self-confidence from 
  such discipline and expertise. Improving a skill to 90% or 
  more after play begins provides your character with a bonus 
  of 2d6 Sanity Points. This is a one-time bonus per skill: 
  subsequent increases do not yield additional SAN gains. 
  Improving Skills Through Experience 
  Practice makes perfect and using a skill successfully while 
  in the field often yields the chance to learn from the 
  experience and improve. Whenever a skill is successfully 
  used in the course of play, the Game Master should allow 
  you to put a checkmark in the little box next to your skill. 
  For information-based skills, learning through experience 
  represents affirmation of knowledge already possessed or 
  additional information gained through practical application. 
  After an assignment or training course ends, you may 
  determine whether a checked skill improves. Chapter 6: 
  System and Combat covers this in more detail; Chapter 
  11: Budgets, Requisitions and Training describes 
  training courses. 
  The Cthulhu Mythos, Sorcery and Status skills do not 
  improve with experience and can only be increased through 
  specific methods listed in each skill description.
  Skills Above 100%
  As described on page 14 of Chapter 3: Basic Rules, your 
  character’s experience bonus makes it possible to learn a 
  skill above 100%. Though a skill in excess of 100% seems 
  counter-intuitive, this has many game-specific advantages. 
  A skill higher than 100% has a higher chance of special 
  successes, better odds of success at Difficult tasks and suffers 
  less from negative circumstantial modifiers. Additionally 
  (and some would say, most importantly), if your character 
  has a Combat skill higher than 100%, they can attempt 
  multiple attacks in a Combat Round, as described in ‘Attacks 
  and Parries Over 100%’ on page XX of Chapter 6: System 
  and Combat. 
  Using Skills
  Whenever your character wishes to take an action or 
  accomplish a task where the outcome is in doubt, you 
  must declare the desired action and the Game Master will 
  allow you to attempt a d100 roll against your character’s 
  appropriate skill rating. A d100 roll equal to or less than 
  the modified skill rating means your character succeeds at 
  the task, while a roll higher than the skill rating means that 
  they fail. An especially high roll is a fumble, with the worst 
  possible result. 
  In most cases, the appropriate skill most useful for 
  any given action will be obvious. However, unforeseen 
  circumstances or unusual situations can lead to new uses of 
  a skill. You are encouraged to find alternative applications 
  of your character’s skills, but all such skill uses must meet 
  with the Game Master’s approval. It is assumed that when 
  your character learns a skill, they also pick up some of the 
  related knowledge that comes with the skill. While many 
  skills are oriented towards actions or specific applications 
  of knowledge, they could also indicate general awareness 
  of the kinds of tasks governed by that skill, people known 
  for noteworthy expertise in the skill or grant the ability 
  to recognise the general skill rating of another person 
  exercising the skill. Any of these alternate usages should be 
  at the Game Master’s discretion. 
  Difficulty and Circumstance Modifiers
  Most of the time, you roll against your character’s 
  unmodified skill rating. However, the skill may be modified 
  based on the relative difficulty of the task being attempted 
  or by circumstantial modifiers. These can adjust your chance 
  of succeeding in a skill up or down. Difficulty modifiers 
  and circumstance modifiers are covered in more detail 
  in Chapter 6: System and Combat, but here is a quick 
  summary: 
   
  Difficulty modifiers are: Automatic (an elementary task 
  with no challenge whatsoever, requiring no roll and always 
  achieving an average result); Easy (a basic task for which the 
  skill rating is doubled); Average (a standard use of the skill, 
  unmodified); Difficult (a challenging or particularly focused 
  use of the skill, halving the skill rating and rounding up if 
  necessary); and Impossible (unachievable by any standard, 
  with no roll allowed or possibly a 01% chance if the Game 
  Master allows). If no modifier is indicated, you should 
  assume the roll is Average. 
  Circumstance modifiers are external forces acting on your 
  character’s ability to perform the skill. These range from 
  quality of tools or assistance, lighting, footing, weather, 
  other aspects of the environment, your character’s physical 
  condition and so on. Circumstance modifiers can modify a 
  skill from as little as ±5% for trivial circumstances, ±10% 
  for moderate or as much as ±20% for significant conditions 
  or circumstances. These modifiers can be cumulative and 
  are described in detail on page 49 of Chapter 6: System 
  and Combat. Circumstance modifiers are always applied 
  after a difficulty modifier (if any) is applied. 
  
  31
  5  SKILLS
  Secret or Concealed Skill Rolls 
  The Game Master may also make skill rolls for your 
  character, in cases where the Game Master does not want 
  you to know the outcome of the skill roll or even that a 
  skill roll is being made at all. The Game Master may wish to 
  keep a copy of your character sheet on hand or may ask you 
  for a list of your character’s current values of relevant skills 
  (such as Insight, Listen, Sense and Spot). This way secret 
  rolls can be made without alerting you and the other players 
  that your characters might be missing something when the 
  skill rolls fail. This method allows the Game Master to use 
  failed rolls to potentially mislead or misdirect you, which 
  is a useful tactic for Perception or other similar rolls. Do 
  not worry if your Game Master is rolling dice and laughing 
  hysterically without explaining why... paranoia is part and 
  parcel of working at Capital Laundry Services! 
  Almost any skill with a non-obvious result can be performed 
  secretly or without the player being aware of the outcome. 
  Even normally obvious skills may be performed secretly, 
  depending on the circumstances, such as a character using 
  Computer Use to cover his activities on a particular terminal. 
  The Game Master may roll secretly for the player and keep 
  it a secret whether your character succeeded or failed until 
  it becomes relevant. 
  These rolls do not have to be altogether secretive and the 
  Game Master may tell you that a roll is being made against a 
  particular skill. Depending on play styles, you and the Game 
  Master may choose to make ‘hidden’ rolls where you roll the 
  dice in an area where you cannot see how they land, such as 
  behind a Game Master’s screen or other concealing object. 
  Alternately, you may also wish to make the rolls out in the 
  open and role-play accordingly, acting as the dice result 
  indicated. 
  If the skill is successfully made, the Game Master should tell 
  you that your character has successfully used the appropriate 
  skill and allow an experience check, if applicable. If the skill 
  roll has failed, the Game Master may inform you that you 
  have failed. Alternately, the Game Master may misinform 
  you with false information or utterly refrain from informing 
  you (and your character) of anything information, as 
  appropriate. These sorts of actions can add tension to the 
  gaming experience, such as when you do not know if you 
  failed or succeeded, or even if something was at stake!
  When Do You Make a Secret Skill Roll? 
  There are times when the Game Master may wish for you 
  to be uncertain whether your character succeeded or failed 
  at a task. In these cases, the Game Master may roll one of 
  your skills for you without telling you whether you have 
  succeeded or failed or may ask you to roll the dice for your 
  character without telling you what skill you have succeeded 
  in. The most appropriate uses for concealed or secret skill 
  rolls are skills such as Insight, Listen, Sense and Spot, where 
  knowledge of success or failure may alter your character’s 
  behaviour. Any skill with a result that is not obvious can be 
  performed in secret, though the Game Master should use 
  these types of rolls sparingly.
  Unskilled Actions 
  Sometimes your character will need to attempt an action 
  even though they lack any rating in the skill and the skill’s 
  base chance is 00%. If the Game Master deems that the 
  task is not Impossible, they may allow a roll with one of the 
  following conditions:
  Luck: The Game Master may allow you to make a Luck 
  characteristic roll in place of the skill roll. Only a special 
  success indicates success and it will be the result of sheer, 
  dumb luck. 
  Wild Chance: The Game Master could allow a d100 roll 
  with a 1% chance of success or a straight roll of POW x1 
  as a chance of success if luck is more a deciding factor than 
  inspired improvisation. 
  In either case, even successful use of an unskilled attempt 
  at a skill with 00% chance of success does not yield an 
  experience check for the skill. 
  Opposed Skill Rolls 
  When two characters (player or non-player) oppose one 
  another with opposed skill rolls (for example, Hide vs. Spot), 
  it is important to know which of them succeeded if the dice 
  results are unclear. Generally, the character who rolls the 
  highest quality of success is successful. Use the following 
  guidelines when comparing the results of opposed skill rolls 
  of any type: 
  Success vs. Success: If both rolls are a success, generally 
  both parties were successful. This may represent a stalemate 
  that must be resolved through a later roll or though a different 
  tactic once conditions have changed. In the case of combat, 
  ties inevitably go to the defensive or passive character (such 
  as while dodging or parrying, though successfully parrying 
  an attack may damage the parrying item). 
  Success vs. Failure or Fumble: If one roll is a success 
  and the other a failure or a fumble, the successful roll gets 
  results, the failure is a failure and the fumbled roll suffers a 
  fumble. 
  Special Success vs. Fumble, Failure or Success: If 
  one roll is a special success and the other is not (whether 
  a fumble, failure or normal success), the special success 
  achieves a special success result. The failed roll has no effect 
  and the fumbling roll suffers a fumbled result. 
  Failure or Fumble vs. Failure or Fumble: If both 
  rolls are failures or fumbles, neither is successful and the 
  fumbling roll suffers a fumbling result. 
  If these guidelines do not resolve the matter of an opposed 
  success, then a simple guideline may be to take the highest 
  successful roll (the result shown on the dice) and use that 
  as the tie-breaker. This way, the character with the highest 
  chance of success is usually the winner. If a tie still cannot 
  be resolved (such as matching dice results), the tie goes to 
  the side with the highest chance of success. Beyond that, 
  SkiLLS
   
  ChapTer Five
  
  32
  The Laundry
  the Game Master may decide that the two parties are simply 
  deadlocked or call for a Luck characteristic roll to resolve 
  the tie. 
  If you are pitting a characteristic against another 
  characteristic, instead of using opposed characteristic rolls, 
  you would use the Resistance table, described in Chapter 
  3: Basic System. Similarly, the method of determining 
  the ‘winner’ from opposed skill rolls may also be used for 
  determining the winner in a Resistance roll if the Game 
  Master desires. 
  When Do You Make an Opposed Skill Roll? 
  You will make opposed skill rolls all the time during play, 
  whenever your character attempts to do something that 
  may be opposed by another Player Character or a Non-
  Player Character. Your attack may be dodged or parried, 
  your attempt to sneak around or hide is usually opposed by 
  someone’s Perception, for example. Unless for some reason 
  the other party is unaware of your character’s actions or is 
  unwilling or unable to respond, you will use opposed skill 
  rolls to resolve outcomes.
  Complementary Skills
  Some skills are closely related to other and expertise in 
  one area often yields benefits in another. With the Game 
  Master’s permission, your character may temporarily add 
  1/5 of your rating in a complimentary skill (round normally) 
  to your rating in another skill for the purpose of a single 
  skill roll. For example, if your character is attempting to 
  bluff their way past a difficult supervisor using Fast Talk 
  57%, they might add 1/5 of their Bureaucracy 31% to the 
  Fast Talk skill rating. In this case, the total would be (31 ÷ 5 
  = 6.2, rounded to 6) + 57 = 63%. 
  Only one skill may be considered as complimentary to 
  another for any given roll. If multiple skills may be applicable 
  for this bonus, these temporary skill rating bonuses do not 
  stack – the player and Game Master should choose the 
  highest bonus to use or whichever is the most appropriate 
  to the situation at hand. If the skill is successful, only the 
  ‘main’ skill receives an experience check. The Game Master 
  may also call on a successful skill roll from the would-be 
  complementary skill before 1/5 of that skill can be added to 
  the primary skill. If the complementary skill roll is required, 
  the complementary skill does not receive an experience 
  check. 
  Time and Skill Use 
  It takes time for your character to use a skill and different 
  skills take different amounts of time. Following are examples 
  of the game time required to perform a single use of a skill. 
  Some skills can take a variable amount of time and are listed 
  in each appropriate time category. 
  Instantly to One Round: Most attacks and parries, 
  Artillery, Athletics, Brawl, Cthulhu Mythos, Dodge, Drive, 
  First Aid, Grapple, Heavy Machine, Heavy Weapon, Hide, 
  Jump, Listen, Melee Weapon, Missile Weapon, Pilot, Ride, 
  Sense, Shield, Sleight of Hand, Sorcery, Spot, Stealth, Swim 
  and Throw. 
  Between One Round and One Turn: Appraise, Art, 
  Artillery, Athletics, Bargain, Climb, Command, Computer 
  Use, Cthulhu Mythos, Demolition, Disguise, Drive, 
  Etiquette, Fast Talk, Fine Manipulation, Firearm, First Aid, 
  Gaming, Heavy Machine, Heavy Weapon, Hide, Insight, 
  Knowledge, Language, Listen, Literacy, Medicine, Missile 
  Weapon, Navigate, Perform, Persuade, Pilot, Repair, Ride, 
  Sense, Sleight of Hand, Sorcery, Spot, Stealth, Strategy, 
  Swim, Technology Use and Track. 
  Between One Turn and One Hour: Appraise, Art, 
  Athletics, 
  Bargain, 
  Bureaucracy, 
  Climb, 
  Command, 
  Computer Use, Craft, Cthulhu Mythos, Demolition, 
  Disguise, Drive, Etiquette, Fine Manipulation, Gaming, 
  Heavy Machine, Insight, Knowledge, Language, Medicine, 
  Navigate, Perform, Persuade, Repair, Research, Ride, 
  Science, Sense, Sorcery, Spot, Status, Strategy, Swim, Teach, 
  Technology Use and Track.
  One Hour or Longer: Appraise, Art, Athletics, Bureaucracy, 
  Climb, Command, Computer Use, Craft, Cthulhu Mythos, 
  Demolition, Disguise, Drive, Etiquette, Fine Manipulation, 
  Heavy Machine, Knowledge, Language, Medicine, Navigate, 
  Perform, Persuade, Pilot, Psychotherapy, Repair, Research, 
  Ride, Science, Sorcery, Status, Strategy, Teach, Technology 
  Use and Track.
  Six Hours or Longer: Appraise, Art, Bureaucracy, 
  Computer Use, Craft, Cthulhu Mythos, Demolition, 
  
  33
  5  SKILLS
  Disguise, Drive, Knowledge, Medicine, Navigate, Pilot, 
  Psychotherapy, Repair, Research, Ride, Science, Sorcery, 
  Status, Strategy, Teach and Technology Use. 
  In general, using a skill to recognise something, or figure 
  something out, should be fairly quick and only take a round. 
  Physical actions such as attacks are usually accomplished 
  in one round, though more complex actions like climbing 
  might be measured by turns. For longer durations, multiple 
  skill rolls may be required. The Game Master may also 
  require multiple skill rolls for extended research, study or 
  other complex tasks. Creating, fixing or disabling something 
  takes longer: the bigger and more complex it is, the more 
  time it will take. Chapter 6: System and Combat covers 
  time in greater detail. 
  Alphabetical Skill List
  This is an alphabetised list of all the skills described in this 
  chapter. Each entry lists its base chance and the page it 
  appears on. If the skill requires specialties, it has ‘(various)’ 
  after the name and skills where specialties have different 
  base chances have their base chance described as ‘(variable).’ 
  Skill
  Base %
  Page
  Appraise
  15% 
  33
  Art (various)
  05% 
  33
  Artillery (various)
  00%
  34
  Athletics (various) 
  10%
  34
  Bargain
  05% 
  34
  Brawl
  25% 
  34
  Bureaucracy
  05%
  34
  Climb
  40% 
  34 
  Command
  05% 
  35
  Computer Use (various) 
  05%
  35
  Craft (various)
  05% 
  35
  Cthulhu Mythos
  00%
  35
  Demolition
  00% 
  36
  Disguise
  05% 
  37
  Dodge
  DEX x 2%
  37
  Drive (various)
  20%
  37
  Etiquette
  05% 
  37
  Fast Talk
  05% 
  37
  Fine Manipulation
  05% 
  38
  Firearm (various)
  Variable
  38
  First Aid 
  30%
  38
  Gaming
  10% 
  38
  Grapple
  25% 
  38
  Heavy Machine (various)
  05% 
  39
  Heavy Weapon (various)
  Variable
  39
  Hide
  10% 
  39
  Insight
  05% 
  39
  Jump
  25% 
  40
  Knowledge (various)
  Variable 
  40
  Language (various)
  INT x 5% or 
  00% 
  41
  Listen
  25% 
  42
  Medicine (various)
  05%
  42
  Melee Weapon (various)
  Variable
  42
  Missile Weapon (various)
  Variable
  42
  Navigate
  10% 
  42
  Perform
  05% 
  43
  Persuade
  15% 
  43
  Pilot (various)
  00% 
  43
  Psychotherapy
  00% 
  43
  Repair (various)
  15% 
  43
  Research 
  25% 
  43
  Ride (various)
  05% 
  44
  Science (various)
  Variable
  44
  Sense 
  10% 
  45
  Sleight of Hand
  05% 
  45
  Sorcery
  00%
  45
  Spot 
  25% 
  45
  Status
  15%
  45
  Stealth
  10% 
  46
  Strategy 
  00% 
  46
  Swim
  25% 
  46
  Teach
  10% 
  46
  Technology Use (various)
  05%
  47
  Throw
  25% 
  47
  Track
  10% 
  47
  Skill Descriptions
  Each skill is described in the same format: 
  Name (Base Chance)
  Specialties: These are the skill’s specialties (if applicable), 
  presented as a list or as an expanded bullet-point list. 
  This paragraph contains a description of the skill and the 
  sorts of things you can do with it. This section also covers 
  system-related information about the skill, such as precise 
  mechanics for its effects. 
  Appraise (15%) 
  Specialties: None 
  Successful use of this skill allows your character to estimate 
  an object’s worth, whether the object is an old painting, 
  a gem, an antique, a rare book or a purebred dog. Your 
  character’s expertise in another skill may have a direct 
  bearing on their ability to Appraise a particular item. If 
  your character’s rating in a skill related to the object being 
  Appraised is 75% or higher, add 1/5 of that skill’s rating as 
  a temporary bonus to the Appraisal skill rating. The Game 
  Master should determine when this bonus applies. 
  Art (various) (05%)
  Specialties: Calligraphy, Drawing, Painting, Photography, 
  Sculpture, Writing and so on. 
  This skill measures your character’s ability in some aspect of 
  visual or literary arts. Your character can use Art to create 
  a work of art in paint or sculpture, or to compose a story, 
  poem or musical work, or to create some other lasting work 
  of art. You would use the Perform skill (on page 43) for 
  acting, dancing, playing a musical instrument or singing. 
  Some Art specialties require specific tools or materials and 
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  34
  The Laundry
  cannot be attempted without these materials on hand. The 
  amount of time it takes to use this skill varies dramatically 
  from minutes (a pencil sketch) to weeks or even years (for 
  an epic novel). The player and the Game Master should 
  determine cost and time requirements for the Art skill on a 
  case-by-case basis. 
  Artillery (various) (00%)
  Specialties: Cannon, Rocket Launcher, Turret, Vehicular 
  Weapon and so on. 
  Artillery covers weapons too large for a single person to 
  move or use, such as those mounted on tripods, vehicles or 
  even part of military installations. In most cases, artillery 
  fires solid projectiles such as cannonballs, torpedoes and 
  missiles. If your character is trying to use an artillery weapon 
  alone when it normally requires a crew, attacks are Difficult 
  or Impossible (at the Game Master’s discretion). It may 
  take multiple rounds or even turns to load and prepare a 
  weapon system between shots. Many large weapons employ 
  automatic fire or shoot explosive ordinance. See the spot 
  rules for Autofire and Explosions in Chapter 6: System 
  and Combat, though the use of artillery is outside the 
  scope of most Laundry operations. 
  Athletics (various) (10%) 
  Specialties: Acrobatics, American and Canadian Football, 
  Baseball, Basketball, Bowling, Cricket, Cycling, Golf, 
  Hockey, Rugby, Skating, Skiing, Soccer, Tennis, Track & 
  Field and so on. 
  The Athletics skill covers performance of a team or solo 
  sport, complete with knowledge of the rules and tactics for 
  winning. Some sports are better covered by other skills, such 
  as boxing (Brawl), equestrian (Ride), the long jump (Jump), 
  swimming (Swim) and so forth. This skill can also address 
  maintenance of equipment, the proper training regime and 
  knowledge of notable athletes in the particular field. 
  Bargain (05%) 
  Specialties: None 
  This skill governs negotiation and compromise. Bargain is 
  frequently used to haggle over prices, though can be used 
  whenever your character has a different opinion than the 
  other party in a negotiation. Bargain is best handled through 
  an opposed skill roll to decide the outcome of an important 
  negotiation and simple skill rolls for trivial attempts 
  (for example, saving money on equipment or lodgings). 
  Bargaining is about compromising over some aspect where 
  some asset or quantity is being discussed: your character 
  should use Fast Talk or Persuade to resolve an argument or 
  sway another to their point of view. 
  Brawl (25%) 
  Specialties: None 
  Brawling is the catch-all skill covering unarmed strikes, 
  whether you are kicking, punching, head butting, kneeing, 
  elbowing or any other kind of rough-housing that is not 
  grappling (Grappling is a separate skill, described on page 
  38.) Brawl can also be used for improvised weapon attacks, 
  at the Game Master’s discretion. A successful Brawl attack 
  does 1d3 points of damage plus your damage bonus to the 
  target of the attack. You can use Brawl to parry an attack 
  but if the attacker is armed (rather than using Brawl) a 
  successful parry means that you take the attack’s minimum 
  weapon damage, as appropriate. Using Brawl against an 
  attacker who has grappled your character is Easy. 
  Bureaucracy (05%) 
  Specialties: None 
  Bureaucracy is the art of manipulating processes or 
  personnel within a political organisation or business 
  to achieve a specific goal or to recognise that group’s 
  hierarchy. Every group has its policies and procedures and 
  knowledge of (and skill using) the rules enables greater ease 
  with achieving specific ends. This skill can be used in any 
  political organisation, government agency and business 
  with standardised policies and procedures – the skill grants 
  facility with manipulating the bureaucracy even if its rules 
  may not be apparent. At Capital Laundry Services, your 
  character can use the Bureaucracy skill to use (or bypass) 
  channels to requisition unusual equipment, learn things 
  beyond their security clearance, play managers against 
  one another, recognise the actual chain of command no 
  matter how obfuscated it may be with matrix management 
  and disguise potentially punishable behaviour in a screen 
  of paperwork and forms. The Bureaucracy skill is an 
  invaluable tool due to the Laundry’s insistence on ISO-9000 
  compliance. 
  For more on the uses of bureaucracy, see Chapter 11: 
  Budgets, Requisitions and Training.
  Climb (40%) 
  Specialties: None 
  Your character can use this skill to climb walls, trees, cliffs or 
  other vertical surfaces possessing usable hand- or foot-holds 
  or a surface rough enough to find a degree of purchase. The 
  Game Master should modify the difficulty of the skill roll 
  based on the surface to be climbed. If a surface is full of 
  accessible hand- and foot-holds (like a tree), it might be Easy 
  to climb. A rocky wall or fence would be an Average roll 
  (unmodified), while a less-accommodating surface could be 
  Difficult. A sheer wall without any irregularities might simply 
  be Impossible to climb. For an extended climb, such as up 
  a cliff face or few stories of a building, the Game Master 
  should ask for a skill roll for every 10 metres. Your character 
  can take no other action while climbing and all actions taken 
  while clinging to a climbed surface are Difficult. If you fail 
  a Climb roll, you fall. The Game Master may allow you to 
  make an Agility roll. If the Agility roll is successful, you do 
  not fall but you do not make any headway. A Fumble on the 
  Climb or Agility roll causes your character to fall. Generally, 
  a fall does 1d6 points of damage for every three metres of 
  distance. Falling is covered in more detail on page 61 of 
  Chapter 6: System and Combat. 
  
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  5  SKILLS
  Command (05%) 
  Specialties: None 
  Your character can use this skill to inspire, direct and 
  coordinate followers or allies, guiding them through simple 
  or complex tasks and improving the effectiveness of the 
  group as a whole. This skill is fundamental in the day-to-day 
  duties of a military officer, politician, business executive, 
  head chef or even a sports team captain. Whenever you 
  want to manage or lead a group, this is the skill to do it 
  with. A successful use of the skill means that your team 
  is successfully coordinated and guided and works at peak 
  efficiency. Failing this, any attempts they perform are less 
  effective, take longer and they suffer poor morale. This skill 
  is primarily used for dealing with Non-Player Characters 
  instead of Player Characters. Your character can attempt 
  to directly command a number of Non-Player Character 
  followers equal to your character’s POW characteristic. For 
  numbers above that, delegation or additional leadership is 
  required or any attempts become Difficult. 
  Computer Use (various) (05%) 
  Specialties: Due to the range of applications and the 
  importance of computing to the Laundry, there are many 
  specialties for this skill. The Game Master may define 
  additional specialties, if desired. 
  Art: Using the computer for creating art, whether still 
  images, animation, special effects, sound, video or another 
  form of creative expression. 
  Design: Creating systems for computer use, whether 
  user interface, web design, software programs, operating 
  systems, games. This is distinct from actually programming 
  the software. 
  Gaming: Use of recreational software; first-person 
  shooters, casual games, MUDs, massively multiplayer online 
  roleplaying games, networked games, text adventure games, 
  online poker and so on. 
  Magic: In this case, ‘magic’ is not technological wizardry but 
  actual honest-to-Azathoth magic. This includes knowledge 
  of setting up computerised wards, assembling the 
  equipment and programs for computational summonings 
  and invocations and other uses of Turing’s Theorem that 
  will get you into trouble with the Laundry if you are not on 
  the payroll. 
  Hacking: Bypassing firewalls, cracking security systems, 
  installing secret processes, intentionally causing data loss 
  and system exploits, virus creation, breaking into encrypted 
  databases, the sort of thing Bob Howard calls ‘Saturday 
  night.’ 
  Maintenance: Keeping computers and linked systems 
  running optimally. Updating software, removing viruses and 
  other malware, keeping security up to date (roll on the floor 
  laughing), replacing hardware, monitoring system/network 
  performance, server operations, making sure software is 
  licensed and up-to-date (as per BSA certification) and so 
  forth. 
  Programming: Creating software to run on electronic 
  devices for a nearly-infinite number of applications and 
  devices, using scripting engines and tools or the old-school 
  way by writing code by hand. 
  Repair: Restoring a damaged or malfunctioning computer 
  to full operational status, including software updates, 
  diagnosing problems, removing malware or viruses, 
  replacing hardware and so on. 
  In the era of computational demonology, the computer has 
  emerged as the front-line weapon in the supernatural cold 
  war, a weapon more versatile and potentially powerful than 
  any that has ever existed. The specialties of the Computer 
  Use skill cover what can be done with computers. Any 
  reasonably competent computer technician has several of 
  these specialties and your character can use a related specialty 
  to accomplish a task even if they do not possess the exact 
  specialty required, if permitted by the Game Master. 
  All of these specialties include the basics: word processing, 
  spreadsheets, email, instant messaging, software installation/
  removal, web surfing and so on, as well as diagnosing basic 
  problems and adding/removing hardware. Most basic 
  operations of a computer do not require any skill roll or 
  those uses are considered Easy if for some reason a roll is 
  being required. It is only when your character is trying to do 
  something on a computer when there is an element of risk, 
  such as anything to do with magic, demonology, national 
  security and so forth. Trying to perform Computer Use on 
  a rudimentary or intentionally-limited system is considered 
  Difficult, so your character should put in the ISO-9000-
  compliant paperwork for an upgrade as soon as possible. 
  Craft (various) (05%) 
  Specialties: Carpentry, Cooking, Leatherworking, Pottery, 
  Sewing, Woodworking and so on. 
  Constructing or making anything, from a table and chairs, a 
  five-course gourmet meal, to the kitchen you eat the meal in, 
  is done with a specialty of the Craft skill. The Craft skill deals 
  with function and practicality: the creation of objects for 
  purely aesthetic function is the Art skill. Depending on the 
  specialty, specialised tools and materials are often required 
  to use the Craft. Additionally, making things inevitably takes 
  time and requires the use of some form of raw materials. 
  In addition to the actual crafting of items, this skill can be 
  used to identify how an object was made and possibly even 
  the identity of the craftsman who made it. The difficulty of 
  the thing to be crafted determines whether the skill roll is 
  Easy, Average, Difficult or Impossible, while the workspace, 
  equipment, materials and tools can provide Circumstantial 
  Modifiers such as those described on page 49. 
  Cthulhu Mythos (00%) 
  Specialties: None.
  The Cthulhu Mythos skill represents what your character 
  knows about the blasphemous demonic horrors that exist 
  beyond time and space, stirring in the lowermost reaches of 
  the Mandelbrot set. Gleaning a Knowledge of these entities 
  is both damning and wearying on the soul, permanently 
  limiting the mental stability of those who bear it. Compared 
  to other skills, Cthulhu Mythos is unusual in several respects: 
  SkiLLS
   
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  The Laundry
  No Player Character may begin with any Skill Points in 
  Cthulhu Mythos. It must be learned after play begins. 
  This skill does not increase with experience. It may only 
  be increased through research and through the unfortunate 
  experience of going insane for the first time upon exposure 
  to the entities from beyond time and space. This is covered 
  in ‘Going Down for the First Time’ in Chapter 8: Sanity. 
  Your character’s maximum SAN score is limited to 
  a maximum of 99 minus their Cthulhu Mythos skill 
  percentage. No matter how many SAN they gain in the 
  course of play, any SAN points above or beyond that limit 
  are lost. For example, if your character has Cthulhu Mythos 
  31%, their maximum SAN is 68 (99 – 31 = 68). Maximum 
  SAN is addressed again in Chapter 8: Sanity. 
  However damning it is, the Cthulhu Mythos skill is useful 
  for many things. It can be used to recognise demonic entities 
  by sight, to identify the telltale signs of their manifestations 
  and to determine their potential motives or behaviours. 
  This skill can be used to identify summoning (or banishing) 
  rituals involving these particular entities and may know 
  their weaknesses (if any). Additionally, this skill can be used 
  to know what reference works contain more information 
  about these entities and what cults or organisations are 
  actively involved in furthering their goals on Earth. 
  Though this skill is incredibly useful when encountering 
  paraterrestrial entities and the cults that serve them, it is 
  also a two-edged sword, a skill that inexorably cuts away at 
  the limits of one’s stability. Unlike other skills, mastery of 
  the Cthulhu Mythos skill represents the dwindling of sanity 
  and if your character ever achieves a skill of 99% in the 
  Cthulhu Mythos skill, they are functionally insane and are 
  no longer suitable for play. It is time to retire that character 
  and generate a new one. The Game Master may choose to 
  allow the character to live on as an NPC (hopefully not an 
  antagonist), though the most likely outcome is residence and 
  treatment at the Funny Farm (technically known as St. Hilda 
  of Grantham’s Home For Disgruntled Waifs And Strays, 
  run by the Laundry for agents and operatives irrevocably 
  psychologically scarred by Secrets Man Was Not Meant to 
  Know). 
  Demolition (01%) 
  Specialties: None. 
  This skill covers the use of explosives, from kegs of 
  gunpowder to dynamite, Molotov cocktails and advanced 
  plastic explosives, all the way through manufacture, storage, 
  transport, setting and detonation. While anyone with 
  basic instructions can set off a simple explosive, this skill 
  allows your character to achieve a specific effect with the 
  explosion, whether it be collapsing a building, destroying 
  CTHUlHU MYTHOS AND CTHUlHU MYTHOS
  As the title Cthulhu Mythos may seem 
  unusual for a body of knowledge 
  representing a vast array of paranormal 
  entities, some of which would make 
  Cthulhu 
  itself 
  run 
  screaming 
  in 
  existential terror, some explanation 
  is in order. Before Turing found a 
  systematic and reliable method for 
  breaking down dimensional barriers 
  and summon para-terrestrial entities, 
  another person became aware of their 
  presence and did much to publicise their 
  existence. An American horror writer, 
  H.P. Lovecraft, had a considerable 
  knowledge of the occult and used it as 
  inspiration for his weird tales. 
  Owing to the condition of the fiction 
  market at the time, the only place 
  these visionary stories were published 
  were the pulp magazines. Later admirers 
  of Lovecraft’s work named the most 
  prominent of them Cthulhu and titled 
  the corpus of Lovecraft’s tales ‘The 
  Cthulhu Mythos’. The name has stuck and 
  for this reason the body of knowledge 
  representing these paranormal entities 
  has, for better or worse, become the 
  Cthulhu Mythos. 
  Though Lovecraft had a high degree of 
  awareness of these entities and was 
  well-able to depict them in properly 
  horrific terms for his stories, he got 
  a lot of the information wrong (more 
  wrong than right) and his awareness of 
  them was superficial at best. Consulting 
  his works directly as a source of 
  knowledge is a wonderful way to get 
  killed in a hurry. Think of it as 
  trying to get a proper understanding 
  of Cthulhu itself by studying one 
  of those ridiculous Cthulhu plush 
  toys. However good the stories were, 
  your character could memorise all 
  of HPL’s published writings and not 
  gain a single point of the Cthulhu 
  Mythos skill or lose a single point 
  of SAN. There are other, unpublished 
  works by HPL that were confiscated and 
  destroyed after his death, but unless 
  your character has clearance from the 
  Black Chamber and knows exactly who to 
  ask at Miskatonic University library, 
  they are off limits.
  
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  5  SKILLS
  a bridge, opening a safe without harming the contents or 
  blowing the lock off a door without killing anyone inside the 
  structure. Demolition also covers knowledge of appropriate 
  accessories for explosives, including primer cord, fuses 
  and detonators. A failure using this skill means that the 
  explosion goes off incorrectly or not at all. A fumble means 
  that the misfire has disastrous results, either exploding while 
  being handled or having the opposite effect than desired. 
  Simple explosives, such as grenades, do not require this skill. 
  See Chapter 6: System and Combat for additional rules 
  governing the effects of explosives and Chapter 10: Tools 
  of  the Trade for statistics for specific explosives. 
  Disguise (05%) 
  Specialties: None. 
  Your character can use this skill to alter their posture, 
  costume, voice and other aspects of their appearance to 
  resemble a different person, specific or general. If your 
  character is disguised, anyone who encounters them must 
  make an opposed Spot or Insight roll against your character’s 
  Disguise skill to see through the ruse. Disguise covers 
  appearance only: your character can use the Fast Talk skill 
  to impersonate someone else in conversation. Using this 
  skill to impersonate a particular type of person (a soldier, 
  police officer and so on) is a standard action. Impersonating 
  someone vastly different (significantly different body type, 
  opposite gender, major age difference) or disguising oneself 
  as a specific person is Difficult. Use of disguise kits and expert 
  costuming may apply circumstance modifiers. Your Game 
  Master may assign additional penalties to this skill if you 
  must overcome cultural or language barriers or if you lack 
  the relevant skills that the person they are impersonating 
  would possess. 
  Dodge (DEX x 2%) 
  Specialties: None. 
  The Dodge skill allows your character to evade incoming 
  attacks to avoid injury. Your character must achieve an 
  equal result to that of the attack: a regular success dodges 
  a regular attack result, while attempting to dodge an attack 
  with a special success requires a special success result for 
  the Dodge. Your character may either dodge or parry in 
  a Combat Round but cannot do both, as described in 
  ‘Dodging Attacks’ on page 54 of Chapter 6: System and 
  Combat. If your character is attacked by many opponents, 
  they may make multiple dodge attempts in a round but each 
  roll after the first is made at a cumulative –30% penalty. 
  Dodging a missile weapon attack, like a firearm, is Difficult 
  and dodging an explosion is Difficult or even Impossible 
  (depending on where your character is when the explosion 
  goes off). 
  Drive (various) (20%) 
  Specialties: Automobile, Industrial Mover, Motorcycle, 
  Tank and so forth. 
  The Drive skill allows your character to steer, manoeuvre 
  and control a ground vehicle. Most day-to-day driving – even 
  in downtown London – is an automatic task and requires no 
  skill roll. Your Game Master should call for a Drive roll 
  only under adverse conditions or for extraordinary driving 
  (speeding through a busy downtown area, chasing another 
  vehicle and so on). To tail another vehicle without being 
  noticed, use your character’s Drive skill in an opposed skill 
  roll with the other driver’s Spot skill. To resolve vehicle 
  chases, use the spot rules for Chases on page 59 of Chapter 
  6: System and Combat. 
  Etiquette (05%) 
  Specialties: None. 
  Use this skill whenever your character absolutely needs 
  to behave appropriately, whether attending a high-level 
  political summit, visiting a foreign office, infiltrating a cult 
  or joining an occult fraternity. Proper dress, modes of 
  speech, secret signs and specific behaviours can all play a 
  part in etiquette. Etiquette rolls might be required to gain 
  an audience with an important Non-Player Character and 
  should accompany any requests made of that person. The 
  Game Master should only call for an Etiquette roll in an 
  important situation, such as the first time your character 
  interacts with a powerful group, if communication is critical 
  or while trying to advance within that organisation. 
  Fast Talk (05%)
  Specialties: None 
  This skill convinces someone that your character is telling 
  the truth or allows your character to convince that person of 
  something in a hurry. With this skill, your character can ask 
  someone to sign something without reading it thoroughly, 
  buy or sell something that they might not want, let someone 
  pass without a ticket or the proper identification, ignore 
  suspicious behaviour, take false facts on faith, desert their 
  post to go get additional help or equivalent changes in 
  behaviour. The nature of the request may modify the Fast 
  Talk roll to Easy or Difficult, depending on how much is 
  being asked. For example, ‘Can I take a peek at the autopsy 
  photos... no one will know’ is an Easy request, while ‘Instead 
  of shooting me, why don’t you run away now’ is Difficult (or 
  Impossible). Fast Talk is quick to use and is always temporary. 
  A short time after the roll is made, the victim of a successful 
  Fast Talk roll can attempt an Idea roll. Success in the Idea 
  roll means the target comes to their senses. The Game 
  Master may reward an effective argument or excellent role 
  playing with a circumstantial modifier bonus to the skill roll, 
  or even penalise a flimsy argument and poor role playing 
  with a circumstantial modifier penalty. Trying a second 
  Fast Talk attempt after the first attempt fails is Difficult. To 
  sway someone’s mind for good, your character should use 
  Bargain or Persuade.
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  Fine Manipulation (05%)
  Specialties: None. 
  This skill covers any careful use of the hands and fingers, 
  such as picking locks, assembling delicate computer 
  equipment, defusing bombs (while being walked through 
  the process), disarming traps or technical devices, tying or 
  untying knots and disassembling mechanical devices. It can 
  also be used for typing at superlative speeds, some parlour 
  games or even bar tricks, such as twirling pens around your 
  fingers, or the game with the knife and the spread fingers. 
  Some uses of this skill require equipment such as lockpicks 
  or precision tools. Trying to use the skill without them is 
  either Difficult or Impossible. 
  Firearm (various) (by specialty)
  Specialties: Firearm specialties and their base skills are as 
  follows:
  Assault Rifle (15%): Assault rifles, machineguns, miniguns 
  abd so on. 
  Esoteric (0%): Unusual weapons like the Hand of 
  Glory or any SCORPION STARE-based basilisk device. 
  Includes activation wards, creation incantations and safety 
  procedures. 
  Exotic (5%): Exotic or unusual firearms, such as dart guns, 
  guns hidden in cellphones, umbrella guns and tie-clip lasers. 
  Pistol (20%): Sidearms, from automatics to revolvers. 
  Rifle (25%): Sporting and military-issue rifles, sniper rifles 
  and so forth. 
  Shotgun (30%): Sporting shotguns, sawed-off shotguns, 
  double-barrelled shotguns and automatic shotguns. 
  Submachine Gun (15%): Submachine guns. 
  This skill measures your character’s ability to use their 
  speciality firearm. Generally, if you succeed in a Firearm skill 
  roll, your character has hit what they were aiming at and you 
  can roll damage. Do not add your character’s damage bonus 
  to a firearm’s damage roll unless they are using the gun as 
  a club (which is just as effective against some creatures you 
  might face). If the roll is a special success, it does double 
  normal damage. Roll the firearm’s normal damage and 
  multiply the result by two to determine the extra damage. If 
  the roll is a miss, the shot went wide. The Game Master may 
  require Luck rolls from anyone potentially in the line of fire 
  to avoid being hit. A fumble means that the firearm jammed 
  and must be cleared before it can be used again. 
  The Firearms skill can also be used to recognise different 
  models of weapons within the specialty, perform basic 
  maintenance, to field-strip and un-jam them, the pros and 
  cons of various models, recognise ammo types and to ‘talk 
  shop’ with gun dealers. Knowing how to use one type of 
  firearm usually means some familiarity with others, so the 
  Game Master should allow your character the ability to 
  use a firearm from a different specialty as if the skill were 
  Difficult. The exception to this is the Esoteric specialty – 
  your character has the skill and can use these weapons or 
  they do not and cannot. 
  Firearms are covered in considerably more detail in Chapter 
  6: System and Combat. 
  First Aid (30%) 
  Specialties: None.  
  This skill covers basic medical care and is used to stop 
  bleeding, bandage wounds, treat minor burns, set broken 
  limbs, resuscitate someone who is drowning or to revive an 
  unconscious person. It can also be used to determine the 
  nature of an obvious injury and what further treatments 
  will be required. First Aid takes a full round (or longer) 
  to perform. Each injury that a character has taken can be 
  treated with a single use of First Aid. A successful First Aid 
  skill roll heals 1d3 Hit Points of a particular injury, up to 
  the total of the particular injury. You cannot use First Aid 
  to heal more Hit Points to an individual injury than that 
  injury caused. Once an injury has been treated (successfully 
  or unsuccessfully), additional First Aid rolls on it have no 
  effect. If your character is interrupted while attempting to 
  use First Aid, the Game Master may declare that they need 
  to start over. First Aid has no effect on poisons, diseases 
  or other physical ailments. These must be treated with the 
  Medicine skill.
  Gaming (10%) 
  Specialties: Text.
  This skill covers all manner of game-related contests, from 
  ordinary games of chess or backgammon to gambling with 
  cards, dice or other random elements. This skill provides 
  knowledge of the rules of the game, the odds of success, 
  average stakes, as well as regional variants and the history 
  of the game. Successful use of the skill can also provide 
  information about notable players of the game, living or 
  dead. To resolve games of chance or skill, all characters 
  involved roll against their Gaming skill. The highest roll 
  with the best degree of success wins (a regular success is 
  trumped by a special success). If the game involves betting 
  or bluffing, your character uses the Insight skill against 
  an opponent; success temporarily makes the Gaming 
  skill Easy against that opponent. To cheat, your character 
  might use Fast Talk, Fine Manipulation or Sleight of Hand 
  as appropriate. For outcomes of games where no skill is 
  involved, use an opposed Luck roll. 
  Grapple (25%) 
  Specialties: None.
  This unarmed combat skill covers any special attack used 
  for wrestling, from Greco-Roman holds and pins, sumo-
  style pushing and unbalancing, to judo throws or even brute 
  strangulation. Grapples are usually used to subdue a target 
  without causing harm. If your character wants to cause 
  harm, however, brutal wrestling moves, throws and strangle 
  holds can be lethal. Your character must make a successful 
  Grapple roll to establish a hold on their opponent. Grapple 
  attacks can be parried using the Grapple skill or avoided 
  with the Dodge skill. Once a hold is established, your 
  
  39
  5  SKILLS
  character must make a successful Grapple roll each round 
  to maintain a hold. Taking any action other than one of the 
  grappling actions listed here breaks a hold. 
  Each turn that your character has someone in a grapple 
  hold, they can perform one of the following actions: 
  Choke: Your character tries to choke their opponent. The 
  opponent must make an Endurance roll each round or 
  suffer 1d3 plus your character’s damage bonus in Hit Point 
  damage. This continues until the opponent breaks free, falls 
  unconscious, or dies. If the Grapple roll is a special success, 
  the Endurance roll is Difficult. 
  Disarm: Your character matches their STR against the 
  opponent’s STR on the Resistance table. If your character 
  succeeds, the opponent drops any weapon or item they are 
  holding. If the opponent wins, they do not drop anything 
  but are still in the hold. 
  Immobilise: Match your character’s STR against the 
  opponent’s STR on the Resistance table. If your character 
  wins, the opponent is immobilised and cannot act until free. 
  If the opponent wins, they can take an action, though they 
  are still held. 
  Injure: Match your character’s STR against the opponent’s 
  STR on the Resistance table. If successful, your character 
  hurts the opponent using brute strength, inflicting 1d3 
  points of damage plus their damage bonus to the opponent. 
  This can be attempted until the opponent breaks free or 
  wins the Resistance roll. 
  Takedown: Your character automatically makes a Resistance 
  roll with their STR vs. the opponent’s SIZ, dragging both 
  characters to the ground. The opponent must make a 
  successful Agility roll or suffer one point of damage. If 
  an Agility roll fails, the opponent is on the ground in a 
  disadvantageous position and all actions against them are 
  Easy until they are up or change position. 
  Throw: Make a Resistance roll of your character’s STR 
  against the opponent’s SIZ. If your character wins, the 
  opponent is thrown 1d6 metres, is automatically knocked 
  down and must make an Agility roll or suffer 1d6 points of 
  damage. Throwing a target releases a hold. If the opponent 
  wins the Resistance roll, they are released from the hold and 
  remain standing. 
  Once in a hold, an opponent can attack your character if 
  they have any free limbs, using Brawl (punches or head 
  butts only) or any small weapon (knives or handguns). 
  If two hands are free, the target can attempt to Grapple 
  back. Multiple attackers can attempt to grapple a single 
  target, though no more than two attackers can hold any one 
  location. Combine the STR ratings of both attackers in all 
  contested tests. 
  Heavy Machine (various) (05%)
  Specialties: Boiler, Bulldozer, Crane, Engine, Turbine, 
  Wrecker and so forth. 
  Any machine larger than a person and any wheeled vehicle 
  heavier than a moving van are handled with this skill. Your 
  character would use Heavy Machine to drive a forklift, dig a 
  trench with a bulldozer, swing a wrecking ball on a crane, start 
  and drive a turbine or keep a ship’s steam boilers burning. 
  Heavy Machine also covers basic care and preventative 
  maintenance, though once a heavy machine fails, a Repair 
  skill is required to fix it. Certain kinds of machines can be 
  used in combat against opponents, with damage ranging 
  from 3d6 to 6d6, based on the size and configuration of the 
  device. Using this skill to operate machines outside of the 
  range of your character’s specialty is Difficult. 
  Heavy Weapon (various) (by specialty)
  Specialties: Bazooka, Grenade Launcher, Heavy Machine 
  Gun, Minigun, Rocket Launcher and so on. See Chapter 10: 
  Tools of  the Trade for the base chances of each weapon. 
  Success means that the attack strikes the intended target or 
  target area and a special success does double damage (roll 
  and multiply by two). A character can make a Difficult Dodge 
  attempt to get out of the way of a heavy weapon and a 
  special success for that modified Dodge roll is required if 
  the attack is a special success. Do not add your character’s 
  damage bonus to that done by any heavy weapons. The skill 
  governs the use of explosive weapons or large weapons 
  that push the limits of portability. Heavier weapons such 
  as cannons or vehicle/pintle-mounted weapons require 
  the Artillery skill and are likely outside the scope of most 
  Laundry operations. Most heavy weapons employ automatic 
  fire or shoot explosive ordinance, so you should consult the 
  rules for Autofire and Explosions in Chapter 6: System 
  and Combat. 
  Hide (10%) 
  Specialties: None.
  Your character can this skill to escape during pursuit, keep 
  an object from easy detection or avoid surveillance. Hide is 
  an opposed skill roll against the Listen, Sense or Spot skill 
  of any searchers. Hiding something requires some form of 
  cover: scant cover makes it Difficult, while a total lack of cover 
  (wide open, broad daylight) is Impossible. Environmental 
  conditions may offer additional circumstancial bonuses. To 
  move without being detected, use the Stealth skill. Hide only 
  guards against visual and oral detection. If your character 
  fails a Stealth roll, it does not automatically mean that they 
  were spotted: the chance to detect them becomes Easy. If 
  the roll is successful, the chance of detection is normal and 
  a special success for the Hide roll requires a special success 
  for Listen, Sense or Spot to detect. 
  Insight (05%)
  Specialties: None.
  Your character can use this skill to evaluate another person’s 
  character, emotional state and motives based on body 
  language, speech patterns and other intangible factors. 
  Insight allows a gambler to sense a bluff or a detective to 
  sniff out a lie. Wilful deceit can be difficult to penetrate: in 
  such cases, your character should make an opposed Insight 
  roll against the target’s Fast Talk or Etiquette. Using this 
  skill on close friends, family members or spouses is Easy. 
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  Jump (25%)
  Specialties: None.
  This skill measures your character’s ability to leap height 
  or distance or to jump over obstacles. Under normal 
  circumstances, a reasonably fit human can jump his or her 
  height horizontally, half his or her height vertically from 
  a standing position and roughly three metres horizontally 
  with a running start. Performing flashy or showy jumps 
  (somersaults, flips and so forth) is Difficult. The Jump skill 
  also covers landing from a fall and can be used to mitigate 
  falling damage. If your character falls, they can attempt a 
  Jump roll to offset 1d6 of damage from the fall (remove 
  one d6 from the damage dice rolled). A special success 
  reduces falling damage by 2d6. 
  Knowledge (various) (by specialty)
  Specialties: The Knowledge skill specialties and their base 
  chances are as follows: 
  Accounting (10%): The knowledge of bookkeeping 
  practices. Use it to analyse a person or institution’s general 
  financial situation (debt, bankruptcy, wealth, net worth) 
  or to identify financial irregularities (strange spending, 
  embezzlement or odd windfalls). 
  Anthropology (01%): The study of cultures, including 
  customs, art and behaviour. Using this skill, your character 
  can identify a person or artefact’s native culture or accurately 
  describe a culture’s social mores and standard behaviours. 
  Archaeology (01%): The study of ancient and vanished 
  cultures. This skill allows your character to identify an 
  artefact from a dead culture, spot a fake or conduct an 
  excavation and make reasonable inferences about the 
  ancient inhabitants of a site or region. 
  Art History (01%): The study of art from various eras and 
  places, including style, famous artists and specific works. 
  Your character can use this skill to identify the origin of a 
  piece of art, spot a fake and describe the life and works of 
  master artists. 
  Business (01%): The study of entrepreneurial practices, 
  guild regulations, corporate laws and management 
  techniques required to start or manage a commercial 
  business. This skill allows your character to identify major 
  players in a field or market, predict economic trends and 
  potentially turn a profit. 
  Espionage (00%): This represents the field of espionage; 
  spy organisations, famous or notorious spies and agents, 
  field methodology, notable figures, organisations, tactics 
  and so forth. Code-breaking is handled with the Science 
  (Cryptography) skill on page 44 of this chapter. 
  Folklore (05%): Knowledge of the customs, stories, lyrics, 
  tall tales and legends of a particular people or region. Your 
  character can use this skill to identify or remember elements 
  of a story, which might come in handy when dealing with 
  legends involving the supernatural. 
  Group (00%): General information about a particular 
  culture, nationality, group, club or social class. Your 
  character can use this skill to identify a member of that 
  group, know ‘who’s who’ within that group and remember 
  social customs and mores of the group. When writing this 
  skill on your character sheet, write the name of the group 
  in the parentheses.
  History (20%): The study of past events and eras. Your 
  character can use this skill to remember the significance 
  of any place, person, event or object, or to correctly guess 
  when an object or document was made. 
  Law (05%): The study of legal practice and precedent. Your 
  character can use this skill to judge the legality of a proposed 
  action, find legal precedents, free themselves from trouble 
  with the authorities or build a case for or against a criminal. 
  Linguistics (00%): The study of language itself, from the 
  foundations of grammar and vocabulary to the means by 
  which societies shape languages and how they evolve and 
  differ. Your character may use this skill to identify unknown 
  languages and, at the Game Master’s discretion, puzzle out 
  a few words or grasp a basic meaning, though this skill is no 
  substitute for the appropriate Language skill. 
  Literature (05%): The study of prose, poetry and essays, 
  usually from a single culture or body of literature. Your 
  character can use this skill to properly identify a quote or 
  allusion to a specific work, identify when and where an 
  unknown fragment might have been written, attribute a 
  mysterious work to a known author, spot a literary fake or 
  quote ominously appropriate passages from famous works 
  of literature. 
  Natural History (10%): The study of plant and animal life 
  in its natural environment. Your character can use this skill 
  to identify a species by tracks, spoor, habits or appearance, 
  to predict which fruits and berries are safe to eat, or how to 
  avoid predators in the wild by knowing their habits. Natural 
  History is a very broad, general skill – the Science specialties 
  of Biology, Botany and Zoology are also useful for detailed 
  or specific information. 
  Occult (05%): Knowledge of magic, obscure legends 
  and ‘secret history’ that covers everything from arcane 
  philosophies to modern conspiracy theories. Your character 
  can use this skill to realise the significance of alchemical 
  or astrological symbols, identify which magical tradition 
  created a ritual workspace, know the names of powerful 
  demonic entities, recognise a particular spell or identify the 
  secret factions conspiring to manipulate a situation. For 
  practical applications of magic, use the Sorcery skill on page 
  45 of this chapter. 
  Philosophy (01%): The study of existence and its meaning, 
  from basic logic to existentialism, nihilism and beyond. 
  Your character can use this skill to remember the precepts 
  of a particular philosophy, identify the philosophical 
  leanings of an author or speaker’s argument and to engage 
  in philosophical debate. 
  Politics (05%): The study and knowledge of political 
  systems or other means of government elected by (or 
  imposed upon) the citizens. Your character can use this skill 
  to understand the major power blocs in an area, how to 
  influence the political structure and how citizens will react 
  to political change or influence. 
  Region (00%): General information about a specific 
  city, region or nation, including important people, local 
  landmarks and regional history. Your character can use this 
  skill to find desirable lodgings in a city, know the name of 
  the best restaurant of a particular cuisine, find a specific 
  vendor or merchant, remember the name of political 
  leaders and parties and be aware of cultural or civic events. 
  When writing this on your character sheet, put the name of 
  the region in the parentheses. 
  
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  5  SKILLS
  Religion (05%): This skill covers the details of the 
  theology and practices of a specific religion. Your character 
  can use this skill to avoid violating taboos, recall the laws 
  and obligations of a faith, successfully debate points of 
  theology, identify regalia or religious texts, sort orthodoxy 
  from heresy or properly lead a religious ceremony. When 
  writing this skill on your character sheet, write the name of 
  the religion in the parentheses. Specific religions might be 
  Buddhism, Islam, Catholicism, Zoroastrianism, whether as 
  general as ‘Paganism’ or as specific as ‘Millennial Cults.’ 
  Streetwise (05%): This represents awareness and specific 
  knowledge of the shadier segments of a society, from 
  the protocols of the poor to the ways of the criminal 
  underworld. Unlike most other Knowledge specialies, 
  there is rarely a written body of work on Streetwise. Your 
  character can use this skill to find a safe house, identify a 
  fence for stolen goods or know who to ask for other semi-
  legal or illegal favours. 
  The Knowledge skill represents experience with or 
  academic study of a particular branch of knowledge. 
  Knowledge allows your character to remember pertinent 
  facts within the purview of the specialty. Use a Knowledge 
  skill to analyse or identify clues, make logical suppositions 
  and recall impressive trivia. Many knowledge skills have 
  broad definitions and some overlap exists between some 
  specialties described here. For example, to remember 
  one detail of a town’s history, your character might use 
  Knowledge (History) or Knowledge (Region). The Game 
  Master is the final arbiter of whether a given Knowledge 
  skill applies to a given situation. 
  Language (Own or Other) (INT x 5% or 00%) 
  Specialties: ‘Own’ is your character’s native language 
  (probably English for Laundry agents) and other specialties 
  are other languages. Each specialty applies to a single 
  language; if you wish for your character to be bilingual, 
  other languages are described as other Language specialties.
  Language Fluency Table
  Rating
  Fluency
  1–10
  May only communicate simple ideas. For 
  an example of speech at this level: ‘Book. 
  Sell please to me.’ Complex communication 
  in the language (Bargain, Fast Talk or 
  Persuade) is Impossible. 
  11–25
  Gets across simple requests, enough to 
  be understood and survive day-to-day. 
  For example, ‘How many moneys for old 
  book?’ Complex communications (Bargain, 
  Fast Talk or Persuade) are Difficult. 
  26–50
  Assured communication. For example, 
  ‘How much? But I can buy it cheaper at 
  another shop!’ Your character can speak 
  better than an uneducated native speaker, 
  getting most ideas across. Communication 
  skills are not restricted, but certain nuances 
  of expression may still be Difficult. 
  51–75
  Allows your character to tell stories, sagas, 
  songs and so forth, as if they are a gifted 
  speaker. For example, ‘You must be joking 
  if you think this copy of Nameless Cults is 
  worth half what you’re asking. The binding 
  isn’t original; it’s a lesser translation of 
  the Bridewell edition rather than from the 
  original German; and it’s missing all of 
  the appendices.’ Idioms, wordplay, subtle 
  jokes and inferences become Easy. Your 
  character can pass for native. Complex 
  communications are considered an Average 
  skill use. 
  76–00
  At this fluency, your character is speaking the 
  language of poets, philosophers, scientists 
  and diplomats. For example, ‘Surely your 
  initial assertion of this volume’s worth 
  can be reassessed in light of the edition’s 
  obvious and significant deficiencies.’ Jargon 
  and obscure forms of speech come easily. 
  Not only can your character pass for native, 
  they can mimic local dialects with ease. 
  Your character’s initial skill in their native language is INT 
  x 5%. Other languages are learned at home, in school, on 
  the streets or through alternate educational methods. For all 
  intents and purposes, Language governs written and spoken 
  communication. Day-to-day conversation in your character’s 
  native Language is Automatic and never requires a skill 
  roll. Skill rolls are required when communicating difficult 
  concepts or in difficult and unusual situations, such as 
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  translating or reading difficult-to-understand presentations 
  of the language. Understanding obscure dialects or ancient 
  varieties of a language is Difficult. Your Game Master might 
  require you to attempt multiple Language rolls to understand 
  extremely complex or lengthy documents or conversations. 
  Consult the Language Fluency Table for a guideline on skill 
  rating and fluency. 
  Listen (25%) 
  Specialties: None.
  This skill allows your character to hear, interpret and 
  understand muffled, concealed or distant sounds. Murmurs 
  behind a closed door, furtive whispers, stealthy footfalls, 
  distant cries, muffled humming, telltale scrapes and snapped 
  twigs are the sorts of sounds a successful Listen roll can 
  notice and identify. Use this skill to see if a noise wakes 
  your character up while they are sleeping or to see if your 
  character can recognise a specific sound or voice. Listen is 
  both an active and a passive skill. Your character can attempt 
  to Listen for suspicious noises or the Game Master can call 
  for Listen rolls if events warrant it. The Listen skill should 
  be opposed by the Hide or Stealth skills. 
  Medicine (05%) (various) 
  Specialties: Dermatology, Family Medicine, Immunology, 
  Internal Medicine, Neurology, Nuclear Medicine, Oncology, 
  Pathology, Pediatrics, Radiology, Surgery and so on. 
  More comprehensive than the First Aid skill, Medicine is used 
  to diagnose and treat life-threatening conditions, diseases, 
  poisonings and make general health recommendations. 
  The specialties of this skill are used for long-term medical 
  care rather than the quick patch-em-up of First Aid. It can 
  also be used to determine the cause of death if it is not 
  immediately apparent, to assess the function of and efficacy 
  of treatment, to recognise various pharmaceuticals relating 
  to the treatment or even to determine how long someone 
  would ideally take to recover from a condition. Like many 
  skills, Medicine also provides awareness of the practitioners 
  in an area and the history of the specialty. Common illnesses 
  and conditions (flu, inadvertent poisonings, broken limbs 
  and so forth) are Easy to treat, while rare and/or extremely 
  serious conditions are Difficult. The Medicine skill roll 
  often requires the aid of medical facilities, equipment and 
  pharmaceuticals, so attempting the skill without these may 
  incur a penalty to the skill. Similarly, excellent facilities and 
  equipment can add a bonus to the skill rating. 
  A successful Medicine skill roll represents one week of 
  treatment and will restore 1d3 lost characteristic points 
  or Hit Points if they have been lost due to illness, disease 
  or some medical condition. If both Hit Points and 
  characteristic points have been lost, the characteristic points 
  are restored first, while natural healing will restore lost Hit 
  Points. Each use of the Medicine skill applies to a single 
  condition. Once it has been successfully treated, additional 
  Medicine rolls have no effect. 
  Melee Weapon (various) (by weapon) 
  Specialties: Axe, Club, Garrote, Knife, Spear, Staff, Sword, 
  Whip and so on. See page 271 for the base chances of each 
  weapon. 
  The Melee Weapon skill governs your character’s ability 
  using a specific type of weapon in hand-to-hand combat. It 
  is used to make attacks, to parry them (if appropriate) and 
  provides knowledge of the maintenance and proper safety 
  for use of the weapon. Each specialty in Melee Weapon 
  applies to weapons of that specialty. To use a weapon from 
  another specialty, use the other weapon’s base chance or a 
  Difficult roll from a similar weapon’s specialty. A successful 
  Melee Weapon roll means that the attack hits (or will hit if 
  it is not parried). Roll damage and apply your character’s 
  Damage Modifier and the Game Master will apply that 
  much damage to the target of your attack. If the attack 
  is a special success, roll damage and double it, then apply 
  the Damage Modifier. Special success attacks can only be 
  parried by special success parries. To parry an attack, roll 
  your character’s Melee Weapon skill. A successful parry 
  means that the weapon does no damage. Your character can 
  attempt more than one parry per round but each roll after 
  the first is made at a cumulative –30% penalty to the skill 
  rating. Melee weapon combat is covered in more detail in 
  Chapter 6: System and Combat. 
  Missile Weapon (various) (by weapon) 
  Specialties: Archery, Blowgun, Boomerang, Bow, Crossbow, 
  Dart, Javelin, Shuriken, Sling, Spear, Throwing Axe, 
  Throwing Knife and so on. See page XX for the base 
  chances of each weapon. 
  This skill measures your character’s accuracy with any self-
  propelled missile weapon, from throwing axes, blowguns 
  or even boomerangs. For grenades, use the Throw skill. 
  Success means that the attack strikes the target, inflicting 
  its normal damage and half of your character’s Damage 
  Modifier. A special success does double damage: roll the 
  weapon’s damage, double it and then add half of your 
  character’s Damage Modifier. For weapons that do not use 
  any personal strength (blowguns, crossbows and so on) do 
  not add the Damage Modifier. Missile weapons are covered 
  in more detail in Chapter 6: System and Combat. 
  Navigate (10%) 
  Specialties: None. 
  Navigate allows your character to plot a course and find 
  their way to a planned destination, using a map, compass, 
  sea charts, global positioning system or even raw instinct. 
  Some navigation methods require specialised tools but 
  almost anyone can use perception, memory or intuition 
  in an attempt to find their way. Navigating in a featureless 
  landscape (at sea, in darkness, bad weather, in a vast desert 
  or dense jungle) is Difficult. Navigating around an area that 
  your character is familiar with is either Automatic or Easy, 
  depending on how far off the beaten track you go. 
  
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  5  SKILLS
  Perform (various) (05%)
  Specialties: Act, Dance, Juggle, Play Instrument, Recite, 
  Sing and so forth. 
  This skill is used for various aspects of the performing arts, 
  whether music, drama, dance or other forms of performance 
  expression. Each specialty pertains to only one type of 
  performance. Some Perform specialties require specific 
  tools and materials, ranging from musical instruments to 
  makeup or costumes, depending on the specialty. In these 
  cases, your character must have these accoutrements before 
  attempting a performance. The amount of time it takes to 
  use the Perform skill is variable, from minutes (a quick song 
  or extemporary speech) to weeks (to learn, memorise and 
  rehearse a symphony, opera or play). The Perform skill can 
  be used to impress others or even to perform rituals of 
  magical significance. 
  Persuade (15%)
  Specialties: None.
  Successful use of the Persuade skill sways some opinion 
  or belief held by another character (usually a Non-Player 
  Character), convincing them of a particular idea or belief. 
  Persuade can use logic, debate, oratory, empathy or even 
  intimidation to make reluctant listeners take action or grant 
  a request. Just as with the Fast Talk skill, the actual truth 
  (or beliefs of the person using the skill) have no bearing 
  whatsoever on its use. Unlike Fast Talk, the effects of 
  successful persuasion last indefinitely and do not change 
  until a second Persuade attempt is made or circumstances 
  force a change of opinion. Attempting to Persuade across 
  a language barrier (if both speakers have lower than 50% 
  or in the language) is Difficult. It is also Difficult to convince 
  someone of something that runs counter to their core 
  beliefs. The Game Master may reward effective arguments 
  or good role playing with a temporary bonus to the skill. 
  Depending on the circumstances, this skill can take minutes, 
  hours or even days to accomplish. 
  Pilot (various) (00%)
  Specialties: Battleship, Helicopter, Hot Air Balloon, 
  Hovercraft, Jet Airliner, Jet Boat, Jet Fighter, Ocean Liner, 
  Propeller Plane and so on. 
  The Pilot skill lets your character steer, manoeuvre and 
  control a boat or plane through the sky or on the water, 
  as appropriate. Each kind of vehicle is a specialty, though 
  there is overlap in training and basic principles enough that 
  the Game Master may allow your character to use a related 
  vessel at your unmodified skill in a specialty. For example, 
  if your character has Pilot (Jet Airliner) they may be able to 
  use Pilot (Propeller Plane) without the roll being Difficult. 
  Most day-to-day piloting should be either Automatic or 
  Easy and the Game Master should only call for a Pilot roll 
  under adverse conditions or while attempting extraordinary 
  manoeuvres (combat, vehicular chases and so forth). To 
  resolve vehicle chases, consult the spot rules for ‘Chases’ on 
  page 59 of Chapter 6: System and Combat. 
  Psychotherapy (00%)
  Specialties: None.
  A primarily psychological form of medical treatment, this 
  skill incorporates diagnosis, counselling, focused therapy, 
  behaviour modification and pharmaceutical intervention. 
  Skilled psychotherapists can diagnose, treat and even 
  reverse debilitating psychoses or mental illnesses such as the 
  insanities inflicted by exposure to earthly frights or para-
  terrestrial threats. Treatment requires four to five hours of 
  therapy per month for indefinite insanity. See Chapter 8: 
  Sanity and Insanity for more information on recovering 
  lost SAN through psychotherapy. 
  Repair (various) (15%) 
  Specialties: Electrical, Electronic, Hydraulic, Mechanical, 
  Plumbing, Structural and so on. 
  As they say in the field, things become FUBARed and 
  the centre cannot take it any more. Equipment and other 
  objects will inevitably become damaged or stop working, 
  so when this happens, your character can use Repair to fix 
  things. The various specialties of this skill cover different 
  types of repairs. Depending on how complex it is, a device 
  may require a combination of specialties, such as an 
  automobile requiring Electrical, Electronic and Mechanical 
  repair. Most repairs require the proper tools, so attempting 
  repairs without them should incur circumstantial modifiers 
  as described on page 49 of Chapter 6: System and 
  Combat. Routine repairs are either Automatic or Easy, while 
  ones with significant problems or requiring work may be 
  Difficult. Extensive repairs may even require multiple Repair 
  rolls to accomplish. 
  Research (25%) 
  Specialties: None.
  This skill allows your character to locate and identify 
  potential sources of information, whether in a newspaper 
  archive, library, network, the internet or Azathoth help 
  you... the Stacks. When searching for information pertinent 
  to a specific topic or subject, a successful Research roll lets 
  your character identify and find books, documents, files, 
  articles or websites of potential interest. Depending on 
  the method and sources, this skill can take anywhere from 
  minutes to hours to search. Frequently, Research involves 
  multiple sources, such as finding something indexed online 
  and then having to scrounge up a physical copy, which 
  might mean contacting a library, going to a newspaper 
  office or searching through a classified government archive 
  for a cryptically-named file that may or may not have been 
  shelved properly. Contrary to popular belief, not everything 
  can be found on the internet through a search engine and 
  Capital Laundry Services has some very specific policies 
  about how searches are conducted in the public arena. 
  Searching a poorly-organised archive or one without an 
  index is Difficult. Specific archives may offer a circumstantial 
  modifier to Research rolls, based on the size and quality 
  of their collections. Sometimes the result of a successful 
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  Research roll is that there is no pertinent information to be 
  found or learning that it has been expunged or otherwise 
  removed. In every case, the Game Master must decide 
  whether a particular source of information contains 
  anything pertinent. 
  Ride (05%)
  Specialties: None. 
  This skill governs the care, saddling and handling of a 
  horse, camel, or other riding beast. Your character can use 
  this skill to steer a steed through special manoeuvres or 
  difficult terrain, guide it while at a full gallop or keep control 
  if it rears or stumbles. The Game Master should resolve a 
  race between the same type of animals using an opposed 
  Riding skill roll and the guidelines for Chases on page 59 
  of Chapter 6: System and Combat. Your character must 
  have combat and Ride skills of 50% or higher in order to 
  fight normally if engaging in mounted combat. If your 
  character’s Ride skill is less than 50%, they must make a 
  Ride roll every round to keep control of their mount. If 
  the combat skill is lower than 50%, all attacks, parries and 
  dodges are Difficult. Even if both skills are higher than 50%, 
  your character uses the lower of the two skill ratings (Ride 
  or the Combat Skill) to attack. 
  Science (various) (by specialty) 
  Specialties: The following is a representative list of Science 
  specialties, along with the base chances for each skill. This 
  list is not comprehensive: the Game Master may add or 
  define additional specialties. 
  Astronomy (01%): The study of the universe, including 
  planets, planetary motion, the sun, stellar life cycles and 
  astronomical phenomena. Use this skill to know which 
  stars and planets will be visible on a given night, predict an 
  eclipse or comet or analyse the spectrum of a distant star to 
  determine its composition, distance and brightness. 
  Biology (01%): The study of living organisms, including 
  their internal structure, behaviour and classification. This 
  skill includes the properties and behaviour of enzymes and 
  hormones and is vital to an understanding of diseases, the 
  effects of drugs and nutrition. Use this skill to identify a 
  natural venom or toxin, find a vaccine for an unknown 
  disease, isolate the hallucinogenic compound in a jungle 
  plant, guess the purpose of an unknown organ or structure 
  or classify a new organism. 
  Botany (01%): The study and classification of plant life. 
  Use this skill to name or identify a known plant, its habitat 
  and properties (poisonous, nutritious and so forth), and its 
  particular needs and potential uses. The skill can also help 
  classify and predict the behaviour of an unknown type of 
  plant life. 
  Chemistry (01%): The study of matter, whether solid, 
  liquid or gaseous and the effects of temperature, energy 
  and pressure on matter. Chemistry also deals with the 
  interactions and behaviours of substances and elements. 
  Use this skill to create or extract chemical compounds, 
  including explosives, poisons, poison gasses and acids. 
  Cryptography (01%): The discipline of Alan Turing, who 
  made computational demonology possible, cryptology 
  is a specialised discipline of mathematics. It deals with 
  codes, ciphers and the ability to encrypt and/or decrypt 
  information. Use this skill to turn a message into gibberish, 
  identify an existing cipher or break a code. Some codes 
  cannot be broken without computers, if at all. 
  Forensics (01%): The study of trace evidence at a crime 
  scene. This specialty covers the correct collection or 
  recording of items such as fingerprints, microscopic hairs 
  and skin flakes, blood splatters and DNA samples, as well as 
  laboratory analysis. 
  Genetics (01%): This advanced science uses heredity 
  and biochemistry as the tools for understanding genes, 
  chromosomes and their manipulation. Use this skill to 
  identify a genetic defect, identify an individual or species 
  from a DNA sample, edit an organism’s traits or classify a 
  previously-unknown organism. 
  Geology (01%): The study of the origin, history and 
  structure of planet earth, from volcanism and plate tectonics 
  to rock strata and erosion. Use this skill to identify types of 
  rock, predict if valuable ores, compounds or fossils might 
  be found in a given area or to try to predict catastrophic 
  behaviour like earthquakes and volcanoes. 
  Mathematics (10%): The science of numbers and their 
  manipulation, from simple addition through algebra, 
  geometry and even calculus. Statistics, modelling and chaos 
  theory form the modern cutting edge of this specialty. 
  Use this skill to solve maths problems and make advanced 
  calculations. 
  Meteorology (01%): The study of atmospheric phenomena; 
  how pressure, temperature and moisture combine to create 
  specific weather conditions. Use this skill to predict the 
  weather in a local region based on existing climate data or 
  to identify the conditions that create specific weather effects 
  like snow, fog and storms. 
  Pharmacy (01%): The intersection of biology, chemistry 
  and medicine, this skill governs the effects of specific 
  chemical compounds and substances on living things. Use 
  this skill to synthesise medicines from proper ingredients, 
  identify a drug or poison by its effects, recall the side effects 
  of a compound or suggest the best available medicine for a 
  specific sickness or ailment. 
  Physics (01%): The study of forces, pressure, materials, 
  motion, magnetism, electricity, optics, light, radioactivity 
  and other related phenomena. Use this skill to chart an 
  object’s orbit or falling arc, predict the breaking point of 
  a material or object or analyse the behaviour of light while 
  standing on an alien planet, looking up at the stars. 
  Planetology (01%): The application of geology to other 
  planets. Use this skill to analyse or predict the properties, 
  composition and climate of a planet, as well as the presence 
  of valuable ores or compounds and the potential presence 
  of life. 
  Psychology (05%): The study of human thought, 
  personality and behaviour, from child development and 
  learning, to deviant behaviour and neurosis. Use this skill 
  to predict the behaviour of an individual based on their 
  upbringing and background (or vice versa), identify the 
  symptoms of a mental illness or how best to communicate 
  with or treat an individual based on their personality. 
  Thaumaturgy (00%): The technical aspects of magic, such 
  as understanding the physics involved (and rudely violated 
  
  45
  5  SKILLS
  by) spells and supernatural entities and their effects upon 
  the physical world. This includes practical applications 
  of Turing’s Theorem and highly-technical subjects such 
  as phase conjugate grammars for extra-dimensional 
  summoning, fractal dimensionality and so on. 
  Zoology (05%): The biological study of the behaviour, 
  anatomy and physiology of animal species. Use this skill to 
  identify a known animal based on traces or parts of that 
  animal (tracks, droppings, hairs, claw/bite marks and so on), 
  list the habits and qualities of a known animal or classify 
  and predict the attributes of an unknown animal based on 
  the same data. 
  Science is the process by which researchers observe 
  phenomena and objects, in order to draw conclusions about 
  their nature and properties. True science is always based 
  on data gathered from observation and experimentation. 
  Reason and deduction are the tools of science and its goal 
  is the understanding of reality and the material universe. 
  Each Science specialty covers a specific discipline: if you 
  wish for your character to learn another specialty, they must 
  spend Skill Points on a separate skill. Many science skills 
  have broad definitions and some overlap exists between the 
  specialties described here. To calculate an asteroid’s orbit, 
  your character might use Science (Astronomy) or Science 
  (Physics). The Game Master should be the final arbiter of 
  whether a given Science skill applies to a given situation. If 
  your character does not have a desired Science specialty, at 
  the Game Master’s discretion, they can use a related field 
  (such as Physics and Astronomy) as if that related skill were 
  Difficult. Success with a related skill roll does not provide 
  an experience check for either skill. Science rolls be instant 
  or the result of months of work depending on the task. 
  Attempting a Science roll without sufficient time or data is 
  Difficult or even Impossible. 
  Sense (10%) 
  Specialties: None.
  Though sight and hearing are the most dominant senses, it 
  is possible to perceive the world using the other three: taste, 
  touch and smell. For convenience, these three skills have 
  been folded into one. Like Listen and Spot, Sense is both an 
  active and a passive skill: you can have your character make a 
  Sense roll or the Game Master can ask you to make a Sense 
  roll in appropriate situations, either openly or in secret. 
  Sleight of  Hand (05%) 
  Specialties: None.
  Sleight of Hand is the art of manipulating small objects 
  (anything smaller than a hand, like dice, cards, coins and 
  even wallets or letters) without attracting attention or in 
  a misleading manner. Card sharks, pickpockets and stage 
  magicians all depend on Sleight of Hand to make a living. 
  Your character can use this skill to pick someone’s pocket, 
  palm a piece of evidence at a crime scene, take a folder off 
  someone’s desk without being noticed, surreptitiously slide 
  a cellphone out of a pocket and activate it quietly, secretly 
  boot up a program on a smartphone or ease a pistol out of 
  a holster without being seen. Sleight of Hand is opposed by 
  the Spot skill. 
  Sorcery (00%) 
  Specialties: None.
  Unlike Knowledge (Occult), Sorcery is the real deal; the 
  ability to use actual magic in the form of summonings, 
  wards, bindings or other enchantments. This skill is one of 
  the most zealously-guarded secrets in human history and 
  as the foundation of the Capital Laundry Services, it is a 
  closely-held state secret, the use of which is subject to a 
  variety of penalties and/or loss of liberty. With the Sorcery 
  skill, your character can cast spells of the appropriate rank, 
  can recognise a spell or ward’s purpose by studying its 
  design or the physical equipment used to cast it, determine 
  when a person, place or thing is under the influence of a 
  spell, can create magical items such as the Hand of Glory 
  and manipulate the parameters of the spell in significant 
  fashion. This can include safely ‘defusing’ a summoning grid, 
  if need be. The skill can also be used to recognise demonic 
  entities by sight or other signs of their manifestation and 
  to determine their capabilities and weaknesses (please, stop 
  laughing). 
  Like Cthulhu Mythos and Status, Sorcery does not improve 
  with experience. It can be learned through study of ancient 
  grimoires, passed on from teacher to student or in any 
  number of courses offered by the Laundry as part of its 
  general training program. For more information on Sorcery, 
  see Chapter 14: Words Have Power. 
  Spot (25%) 
  Specialties: None.
  The Spot skill is used to notice tiny details, search a room 
  for important clues, find a hidden compartment, catch 
  a glimpse of a fleeting opponent or object, recognise a 
  disguised foe or spot enemies lying in ambush. Spot can be 
  used actively or passively. Your character can make an open 
  Spot roll while searching an area or examining a scene or the 
  Game Master can call for a Spot roll to see if your character 
  spontaneously notices a fleeting detail. That roll might also 
  be made secretly, without your knowledge. Skills such as 
  Disguise, Hide and Stealth are opposed by the Spot skill. 
  Status (15%) 
  Specialties: None. 
  This skill measures your character’s reputation and influence 
  within the Laundry. It is a combination of rank, political 
  pull, favours owed and standing. A character with a low 
  Status is an anonymous drone; middle management has a 
  Status of around 50% and people like Angleton, who get to 
  talk to the Board, have a Status in the 90s.
  Your grade in the Laundry is not exactly equivalent to your 
  Status (a low-grade Line officer might be able to pull more 
  SkiLLS
   
  ChapTer Five
  
  46
  The Laundry
  strings than a mid-grade Administrator), but as a rule of 
  thumb, assume that your pay grade is equal to 1/10th your 
  Status, rounding down. So, a character with Status 15% is at 
  the lowest rung of the Laundry ladder.
  Status can also be used as a measure of social standing and 
  wealth. The higher your status, the better your social circle 
  and salary.
  The primary use of Status is when requisitioning equipment 
  and obtaining favours (see Chapter 11: Budgets, 
  Requisitions and Training).
  Unlike most skills, Status cannot be improved through 
  experience. The Game Master should let you increase 
  your character’s Status as a reward for loyal service, 
  increased acclaim or notoriety, organisational recognition, 
  professional advancement or other means. An increase of 
  1% per mission is reasonable, with extraordinary deeds or 
  feats increasing the gain to 1d3% all the way up to 1d6%. 
  On the other hand, your Status can actually decrease if your 
  character suffers the indignity of scandals, misdemeanours, 
  professional setbacks and social improprieties. The amount 
  of the reduction in Status should be determined by the 
  Game Master, ranging from 1% for a minor decrease, to 
  10% for a major humiliation or professional regression. 
  The Game Master can also use Status as a way to measure 
  your character’s fame and that of others. When a Non-Player 
  Character first meets your character, the Game Master may 
  roll against your character’s Status to see if they are known 
  to that Non-Player Character. You can also roll for your 
  character against other character’s Status skill ratings, to 
  determine if your character recognises them. 
  Stealth (10%) 
  Specialties: None.
  The Stealth skill allows your character to sneak through an 
  area without drawing attention, through sight or sound. 
  Stealth assumes that your character is moving, rather than 
  remaining immobile. Moving more than half of your 
  character’s normal MOV rate makes the Stealth skill Difficult 
  to use. Environmental factors (ambient noise, thick carpets, 
  creaky floors) or gear (soft-soled shoes, noisy armour, bulky 
  equipment) may modify the Stealth skill using the rules 
  for circumstance modifiers. To avoid being seen whilst 
  immobile, your character should use the Hide skill. 
  Strategy (05%) 
  Specialties: None.
  This skill allows your character to use tactical perception and 
  knowledge of basic tactics to best deploy forces in battle, 
  from a small squad to a massive army or fleet. Strategy 
  requires at least a full turn of unimpeded preparation for 
  your character to evaluate the situation, choose optimal 
  positions, study enemy activities and so forth. Strategy is 
  not leadership: that ability is covered by the Command skill. 
  Longer periods of time may be required for larger-scale 
  engagements. Using Strategy in unfavourable conditions 
  (outnumbered more than two to one, poorly equipped) 
  is Difficult. Massive engagements involving entire armies 
  should be resolved in abstract, with an opposed Strategy roll 
  between the strategists influencing the outcome on either 
  side. For the most part, Strategy is outside the purview 
  of most Laundry missions, though it might be utilised 
  by OCCULUS or the SAS. The result of a successful 
  Strategy roll can vary significantly based on the scale of the 
  engagement. The Game Master is encouraged to offer an 
  appropriate benefit: from a round of surprise attacks for 
  one side, a superior tactical position, added defensibility and 
  cover or increased morale and long-term functionality. 
  Swim (25%) 
  Specialties: None.
  This skill lets your character swim, dive and stay afloat 
  safely. Swimming for recreation does not require a roll: 
  rolling should be reserved for dangerous situations where 
  drowning is a distinct threat. In calm waters, Swim rolls 
  are only needed once per turn. Swimming in rough waters 
  requires a Swim roll each round. Your character must have 
  at least one hand free to Swim and swimming with only 
  one hand free is Difficult. Your character can tow a buoyant 
  object of up to his own SIZ x 2 indefinitely, assuming 
  he has a free hand or some means of pulling the object. 
  Carrying something that does not float is much more 
  difficult – your character can carry anything up to his or her 
  STR characteristic in pounds indefinitely without difficulty: 
  above this weight a STR vs. SIZ Resistance roll must be 
  attempted each round. A race between swimmers should be 
  handled as opposed Swim rolls. If your character is wearing 
  heavy gear, they sink and must shed weight or drown. Any 
  type of combat under water is Difficult and an attacker uses 
  the lower of their Melee Combat or Swim skill ratings. The 
  Dodge skill becomes Difficult. See ‘Underwater Combat’ 
  on page 62 of Chapter 6: System and Combat for more 
  information. 
  Teach (10%) 
  Specialties: None.
  Your character should use the Teach skill whenever they 
  attempt to train someone in a skill or technique or impart 
  some type of knowledge to another. The skill can be 
  accomplished through the use of lectures, coursework, 
  demonstrations, guided exercises or practical on-the-job 
  training. In order to be a successful teacher for a particular 
  skill, your character must have twice the student’s skill rating 
  or a skill rating of 50% (whichever is lower). The system 
  on ‘Skill Training’ on page 63 of Chapter 6: System and 
  Combat covers teaching and skill training in detail. 
  
  47
  5  SKILLS
  Technology Use (various) (05%) 
  Specialties: 
  Communications, 
  Electronic 
  Security, 
  Electronics, Sensor Systems, Surveillance, Traps and so on. 
  This skill covers the use and maintenance of advanced 
  technology such as large-scale computer systems, security 
  systems or instruments used to operate large technological 
  devices. Your character can employ this skill to activate 
  and deactivate such devices, properly use technological 
  equipment, 
  monitor 
  standard 
  operations, 
  adjust 
  performance, troubleshoot a problem or even cause the 
  device to malfunction by pushing its safety parameters. In 
  a James Bond movie, all of those scientists and henchmen 
  standing around working on instruments are using this skill. 
  Throw (25%) 
  Specialties: None.
  This skill allows your character to hit a target with a thrown 
  object such as a baseball or grenade, or to successfully throw 
  something not balanced for throwing, such as a pistol, beer 
  glass, bar stool or a laptop computer. To catch something, 
  use an appropriate Athletics specialty or an Agility roll. For 
  a weapon balanced for throwing such as a knife or throwing 
  star, use the Missile Weapon specialty. If your character 
  successfully uses this skill, roll the item’s damage plus half of 
  their Damage Modifier. Well-balanced objects designed for 
  throwing (including balls, grenades and darts) can normally 
  be thrown one metre for every point of your character’s 
  STR that exceeds the SIZ of the object. Unbalanced objects 
  (laptop, stool and so on) can be thrown one metre for every 
  three points of STR over the object’s SIZ. Throwing up to 
  twice that range is Difficult. If the object is within 10 SIZ 
  points of your character’s STR, a successful Resistance roll 
  must be made to see if the item can be grasped and held 
  aloft to throw properly. The Game Master should estimate 
  the amount of damage an improvised thrown item will do, 
  based on guidelines for SIZ provided in Chapter 6: System 
  and Combat. 
   
  Track (10%) 
  Specialties: None.
  This skill allows your character to follow the trail of a person, 
  vehicle or animal, across a variety of terrain types. Making 
  a successful Track roll means that your character has the 
  trail and can follow it easily, though the Game Master may 
  ask for a new Track roll when conditions change or if the 
  trail is so long that it must be followed in segments. Moving 
  faster than half of your character’s MOV, while tracking, 
  makes the Track roll Difficult. Every day that has passed 
  since the trail was laid down imposes a –20% penalty to the 
  Track skill rating. Bad weather (rain or snow) completely 
  destroys a trail in a matter of hours, making it Difficult or 
  even Impossible to follow. Tracking something across water 
  or concrete is usually Impossible, unless the target has left 
  some kind of trail (blood, for example). Someone trying to 
  avoid being tracked would use their Hide or Track skill (pick 
  one) against the tracker’s Track skill. 
  New Skills and Specialties 
  There are some blank lines for additional skills and 
  specialties on the character sheet. These are for new skills 
  the Game Master may choose to introduce to the game. You 
  can suggest new skills but only the Game Master should 
  be allowed to define the skill and authorise its use in the 
  campaign. To devise a new skill, take the following steps: 
  •	
  Name it.
  •	
  Determine a base percentage based on how 
  commonly-known the skill may be (0% for highly-
  specialised knowledge, up to 25% or even 50% for 
  instinctual knowledge).
  •	
  List specialties, if they exist and define them if 
  they are important.
  •	
  Write a short description of what the skill generally 
  does and what failing the skill means. If there 
  are any game mechanics involved, it is good to 
  reference or describe them in the skill description. 
  It is recommended that any new skills created be done so 
  before character creation, so that these skills are available 
  immediately if they are required.
  SkiLLS
   
  ChapTer Five
  TIPS
  • Put 
  points 
  into 
  Spot, 
  Research, Dodge and at least 
  one combat skill
  • Check chapter 11 for skills 
  needed for certification
  • Co-ordinate with the other 
  players. Identify areas of 
  expertise & specialise
  • Check chapter 14 for Sorcery 
  requirements
  • Go on training courses to 
  increase low skills
  
  48
  The Laundry
  Though Chapter 3: Basic Rules provided a good overview, 
  this chapter covers the rules in more depth, dealing with 
  combat and other unique situations that Laundry agents 
  might encounter while on assignment. 
  First and most importantly, dice rolls should only be 
  utilised whenever the result of an action is important to 
  the mission. It is rarely, if ever, important to determine 
  whether your Laundry agent character drove home through 
  rush hour traffic to arrive safely at home, cooked a tasty and 
  nutritious dinner and accurately balanced their chequebook 
  before heading to bed. By contrast, it is vitally important 
  to determine whether a hacking attempt on the encrypted 
  server belonging to a millennial cult succeeded or failed, 
  your character identified the cryptic sigils painted on the 
  floor of a burnt tenement full of charred corpses and that 
  your character pointed their Hand of Glory in the right 
  direction when the man with luminous worms for eyes 
  lurched at them. 
  The Basics 
  For instances where the determination of success vs. failure 
  is critical, the following is a refresher course on the basic 
  rules: 
  Most actions that your character will attempt (skills, 
  characteristic rolls, Resistance rolls and so on) have their 
  success or failure determined by a percentile roll (d100).
  Skills are rated by skill ratings, indicated by a percentage 
  score. The higher your character’s skill rating, the more 
  skilled they are. Characteristic rolls are equal to five times 
  the relevant characteristic. 
  If you roll d100 equal to or lower than the chance of  
  success, your character succeeds at the action they are 
  attempting. If the roll is above the chance of success, the 
  attempt fails.  
  Rolling exceptionally low (1/5 of the skill rating) is a 
  special success. A special success usually means a result 
  that is twice as good as normal. 
  Rolling especially high might mean a fumble, which is a 
  disastrous result. 
  The following table shows the ranges of all these results. To 
  use the table, consult the first column and find the chances 
  of a special success and a fumble. 
  Chance of  Success 
  Base Chance
  Special Success
  Fumble
  01–05%
  01
  96–00
  06–10%
  01–02
  96–00
  11–15%
  01–03
  96–00
  16–20%
  01–04
  96–00
  21–25%
  01–05
  97–00
  26–30%
  01–06
  97–00
  31–35%
  01–07
  97–00
  36–40%
  01–08
  97–00
  41–45%
  01–09
  98–00
  46–50%
  01–10
  98–00
  51–55%
  01–11
  98–00
  56–60%
  01–12
  98–00
  61–65%
  01–13
  99–00
  66–70%
  01–14
  99–00
  71–75%
  01–15
  99–00
  76–80%
  01–16
  99–00
  81–85%
  01–17
  00
  86–90%
  01–18
  00
  91–95%
  01–19
  00
  96–100%
  01–20
  00
  Each +5%
  +1 to range
  00
   
  To determine the chance for a special success, for base 
  chances in excess of 100%, divide the base chance by five 
  and round up. Fumbles remain a possibility no matter how 
  high the base chance goes above 100%. A roll of 100 (‘00’ 
  on the dice) is always a fumble. These results are described 
  later in this chapter. 
  Difficulty Modifiers 
  Most of the time, you roll against your character’s 
  unmodified base chance, whether as a skill or characteristic 
  roll. However, some tasks are more complex or difficult 
  than others, while others are so simple that they can be 
  attempted with closed eyes. This range of difficulty can 
  increase or decrease your character’s chance of success by 
  a multiplier called the difficulty modifier. If desired, the Game 
  Master can apply one of these modifiers as appropriate to 
  the roll. 
  Automatic: An action so simple it can to be accomplished 
  without risk of failure. No roll is required for an Automatic 
  action. 
  System & 
  Combat 
  ‘Do you play chess?’ I ask Dr Renfield without looking round.
  ‘No.’ She sounds disinterested. ‘It’s one of the safe games – no dice, no need for a pencil and paper. And it seems 
  to be helpful. Why?’
  — Down on the Farm
  
  49
  6 SySTeM&CoMBaT
  Easy: A routine action that can be performed with minimal 
  risk of failure. The base chance of success for an Easy 
  action is doubled. Shooting someone at point-blank range, 
  for example, is Easy. 
  Average: A normal action, with some degree of risk or 
  challenge. There is no modification to the base chance for 
  an Average action. 
  Difficult: An action that is especially challenging or 
  representing unusual usage of the skill or characteristic. The 
  base chance of a Difficult action is divided by two (round 
  up). Shooting someone at extended range, for example, is 
  Difficult. 
  Impossible: A hopeless or unachievable action, almost 
  certain to fail. The Game Master may not allow you to even 
  attempt to roll the dice for an Impossible action or it might be 
  a basic chance of 01%. 
  If a base chance is modified, the chances of a special 
  success or failure are also modified. Throughout the rules, 
  if a task has a difficulty modifier applied, it will be presented 
  as an italic before the skill, such as a Difficult Stealth roll, or 
  an Easy Strength roll. If a roll does not have a difficulty 
  modifier noted beforehand, it is assumed to be Average. 
  Unless the Game Master indicates that a success chance is 
  being modified, you should assume that a roll is at Average 
  difficulty. 
  Difficulty modifiers can be applied to skill and 
  characteristic rolls, never to resistance rolls.
  Circumstance Modifiers 
  A further way that skill chances can be modified is based on 
  the circumstances involved with the action being attempted. 
  These are circumstance modifiers, percentage values applied to 
  a skill’s chance of success after its difficulty modifier has 
  been applied. In general, minor circumstances can modify 
  a base chance by ±5%, moderate circumstances by ±10%, 
  while extreme conditions can be as high as ±20%. If several 
  conditions apply to a given action, consider them all when 
  judging the total circumstance modifier. 
  Examples of circumstantial modifiers can include: 
  Equipment: The quality of gear you character is using may 
  make a difference: apply –5 to –20% for poor equipment or 
  add 5 to 20% to the skill if superior equipment is available. 
  This can represent anything from tools to a workshop. 
  Environment: Conditions in the area that your character 
  is in can affect skill chances: slippery or uncertain footing 
  could modify physical actions by –5% or more, while ideal 
  conditions could add 5% or more for appropriate skills. 
  Positioning: Being in an ideal position may add a modifier 
  of up to 20% to an appropriate task, while being in an 
  awkward position may modify the chance of success by as 
  much as –20%. 
  Personnel: If the task to be accomplished requires 
  assistance from a team (four or more people), their own 
  ability and condition may be influential. For a highly-
  trained and enthusiastic team, a modifier might offer a 
  positive modifier as high as +20%, while an untrained and 
  demoralised group might impose a –20% modifier. 
  Weather: Rain, snow or extreme wind can apply modifiers 
  of up to –20%, depending on how severe. Generally, good 
  weather has no positive effect on skill use. 
  Lighting: Poor lighting can range from –10% (dim) to 
  –20% (dark) to any skill requiring sight, to a +20% for 
  perfectly lit conditions. Pitch darkness may even make skill 
  use Impossible or require a successful Listen, Sense or Spot 
  roll to attempt. 
  Psychological Conditions: Being demoralised can 
  provide anywhere between a –10% to –20% modifier, while 
  exuberance or enthusiasm might increase chances by +10% 
  to +20%, depending on the task being attempted.   
  Fatigue: Generally, this is a negative modifier, with the 
  default assumption that your character is well-rested. Apply 
  –10% if winded, –15% if tired and –20% if exhausted.
  Distracting Elements: Loud noises, flashing lights, 
  excessive movement and so on, can hinder perception- or 
  concentration-based skills by as much as –20%. 
  Handedness: It is assumed that your character is either 
  right- or left-handed (you pick!). Performing a task involving 
  physical manipulation with your character’s off-hand is done 
  at –20%. If your character is trying to do two things at once, 
  the primary hand is at –20% and the secondary hand is at 
  –40%. If your character’s DEX is 16 or higher, they may 
  be ambidextrous (you pick!). Ambidextrous characters do 
  not suffer the –20% for using an off-hand but still suffer a 
  –20% to actions with both hands for attempting more than 
  one action at a time. 
  Time: Sometimes time can be a factor in determining 
  whether an action succeeds or fails. If your character is 
  attempting to rush through a skill quicker than it normally 
  takes, the penalty can range from –10% for hurrying a bit 
  to –20% for rushing and trying to complete the task in 
  half the time. If your character is trying to take more time 
  than usual, allow a bonus of +10% for being slower and 
  methodical and +20% if twice as much time as required. 
  It is important not to go overboard with circumstantial 
  modifiers. The Game Master should assess the severity of 
  circumstances if necessary, apply an appropriate modifier 
  and let you roll, all as quickly as possible. Circumstantial 
  modifiers are dramatic tools to add a further challenge to 
  a task, not strict guidelines to account for every potential 
  circumstance. 
  Circumstantial modifiers should not be divided or 
  doubled, so apply circumstantial modifiers after any 
  action difficulty multipliers have been applied, not 
  before. Circumstance modifiers can be applied to skill 
  and characteristic rolls but never to Resistance rolls. 
  Special Successes
  Not all successes are equal. Sometimes a roll – skill, 
  characteristic, or resistance – is especially low and the result 
  is much better than normal, the equivalent of a bull’s-eye. In 
  this case, the result is called a special success. A special success 
  ChapTer Six
  SySTeM and COMBaT 
  
  50
  The Laundry
  is equal to one-fifth (1/5) the chance of success, rounded up 
  (use the final chance if difficulty or circumstance modifiers 
  are in effect). For example, a skill of 60% means that any 
  roll of 01 through 12 is a special success, as 12 is 1/5 of 
  60%). The Chance of  Success table on page 48 of this 
  chapter provides the ranges for special successes.
  In skill use, a special success means that the skill succeeded 
  especially well and should have an enhanced result. The 
  exact result should be left up to the Game Master to 
  determine but as a rule of thumb, it should be twice as good 
  as a regular success. For informational rolls, it could provide 
  more detail or additional information. For social actions, it 
  might yield friendships or especially influential results. A 
  special success with a physical action might mean that it was 
  performed with exceptional grace, in half the normal time 
  or allow some other minor advantage. In general, a special 
  success is equal to double the normal result, if such a value 
  can be quantified. 
  In combat, a special success does additional damage. 
  Whenever a special success is rolled in combat (and 
  is not parried or dodged), roll the weapon’s normal 
  damage and double it. If the weapon has a Damage 
  Modifier applied, add the Damage Modifier after the 
  damage has been doubled. The section on ‘Special Successes 
  in Combat’ on page 54 covers this in more detail. 
  Fumbles 
  An especially high dice roll indicates a fumble, the worst 
  possible result of an intended action. Basically, your 
  character blew it. No matter how skilled or experienced 
  your character is, sometimes things just go pear-shaped. The 
  fumble may not even be your character’s fault and could be 
  the result of equipment failure, freakishly bad luck or even 
  environmental intervention...  Murphy’s Law reaching down 
  and singling out your character for a mishap. 
  Whenever your character fumbles, they get the opposite 
  of whatever they were attempting. If they were trying to 
  learn something, they receive (and believe) completely false 
  or misleading information. When trying to manipulate 
  someone, the person will likely be offended and potentially 
  aggressive. In combat, a fumble usually results in characters 
  hurting themselves, dropping or breaking weapons or other 
  problems. The Game Master should examine the skill being 
  attempted and determine what the outcome of the fumble 
  is. It is recommended to limit the results to something 
  appropriate and/or ironic, rather than outright slapstick. 
  The section on ‘Fumbles in Combat’ on page 55 covers 
  this in more detail. Firearms have a special type of fumble, 
  called a jam. Jams are covered in ‘Jammed Weapons’ on page 
  57 later in this chapter. 
  Opposed Rolls 
  Frequently, your character will attempt an action that another 
  character wants to stop or oppose. This is called an opposed 
  roll, a situation where both parties are attempting actions 
  that are in direct conflict. For example, if your character 
  is using Stealth to move quietly through an area, a guard 
  would use Spot as an opposed roll to see your character. 
  For opposed rolls, both parties should make the appropriate 
  skill or characteristic roll and compare the results: 
  If both parties fail, no one succeeds at anything they are 
  attempting.  
  If only one party succeeds, that action is accomplished 
  without challenge. 
  If both parties succeed with normal or special results, the 
  results are tied and each side is at a standstill. The Game 
  Master may ask for another opposed roll to resolve the 
  conflict on the next round, turn or suitable time frame. 
  If the dice rolls are exactly tied, the character with the 
  highest skill is successful. 
  If one party achieves a special success and the other 
  does not, the one with a special success is the winner. 
  If the Game Master wishes more granularity in determining 
  the ‘winner’ in a tie, one quick means of determining this 
  is to compare the dice results to the actual skill levels. The 
  highest successful dice roll is the winner, a result that favours 
  the character with the highest skill. 
  SIZES Of OBjECTS
  To 
  pick 
  something 
  up, 
  your 
  character would match their STR 
  (the active characteristic) against 
  the object’s SIZ (the passive 
  characteristic). 
  For 
  reference, 
  here is a list of the SIZ values of 
  some average objects: 
  Average Object Sizes
  Object
  SIZ
  Paperback book, gun, 
  palmtop
  1
  Laptop, large book, helmet
  2
  Potted plant, purse, Uzi
  2
  House cat, assault rifle
  2
  Family dog, computer 
  monitor 
  4
  Chair, small child 
  5
  Small table, large bicycle 9
  Desk, small motorcycle
  12
  Large motorcycle
  18
  Sports car, phone box 
  50
  Steel beam, small shack, 
  van 
  65
  Air vehicle, jet fighter
  80
  Medium tank, small house
  80
  Heavy tank, lorry 
  90
  Locomotive, medium house
  100
  Airliner, large house 
  110
  
  51
  6 SySTeM&CoMBaT
  Resistance Rolls
  Sometimes a character attempts an action where one of 
  their characteristics is pitted directly against another person 
  or object’s resisting characteristic. These actions result in 
  Resistance rolls. Resistance rolls pit the characteristics against 
  each other, using the Resistance table to determine each 
  party’s chances of success. The resistance table is based on 
  the principle that two equally-matched forces should have 
  a 50/50 chance of beating one another or 50% apiece. 
  Unequal sides are modified up or down by 5% increments. 
  To make a Resistance roll, cross-index the active 
  characteristic to the passive characteristic on the 
  Resistance table. The active characteristic is the force trying 
  to influence the passive characteristic (passive = resisting 
  influence). The cross-indexed value is the percentage chance 
  each force has of success. 
  When two characteristics are pitted against one another, 
  consult the Resistance table to see each side’s chances. 
  Here are some examples of normal Resistance rolls: 
  • 
  Two characters arm-wrestling would use STR vs. STR. 
  • 
  Two characters with equal MOV characteristics would 
  use DEX vs. DEX. 
  • 
  Drinking someone under the table would be CON vs. 
  CON. 
  • 
  A battle of wills between two sorcerers (or a sorcerer 
  and an External Intelligence) would be POW vs. POW. 
  Not all Resistance rolls require that both sides roll. In 
  cases where the passive party is not alive or is not actively 
  resisting, only the active character needs to roll. Here are 
  some examples of one-sided rolls: 
  • 
  Your character attempts to force open a door, using 
  their STR vs. the door’s STR. 
  • 
  Your character tries to pick up something heavy, using 
  their STR vs. the object’s SIZ. 
  • 
  Your character is poisoned and uses their CON to 
  resist the poison’s potency.  
  The Resistance Table
  Active Characteristic
  Passive Characteristic
  1
  2
  3
  4
  5
  6
  7
  8
  9
  10
  11
  12
  13
  14
  15
  16
  17
  18
  19
  20
  21
  22
  23
  24
  25
  26
  27
  28
  29
  30
  31
  1
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
  —
  2
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — — — — — — — — — — — —
  Range of  Automatic 
  Success
  — —
  —
  3
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — — — — — — — — — — —
  — —
  —
  4
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
  —
  5
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
  —
  6
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
  —
  7
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
  —
  8
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — — — — — — — — — — — — —
  —
  9
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — — — — — — — — — — — —
  —
  10
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — — — — — — — — — — —
  —
  11
  —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — — — — — — — — — —
  —
  12
  — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  —
  — — — — — — — —
  —
  13
  — —
  —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — — — — — — — —
  —
  14
  — —
  — — 05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — — — — — — —
  —
  15
  — —
  — — — 05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — — — — — —
  —
  16
  — —
  — — — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — — — — —
  —
  17
  — —
  — — — — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — — — —
  —
  18
  — —
  — — — — — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — — —
  —
  19
  — —
  — — — — — — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — —
  —
  20
  — —
  — — — — — — — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  —
  —
  21
  — —
  — — — — — — — — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  —
  22
  — —
  — — — — — — — — — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  23
  — —
  — — — — — — — — — — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  24
  — —
  — — — — — — — — — — — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  25
  — —
  —
  Range of  Automatic Failure
  — —
  — — — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  26
  — —
  —
  — — — — — — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  27
  — —
  — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  28
  — —
  — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  29
  — —
  — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  30
  — —
  — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  31 — —
  — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — 05
  10
  15
  20
  25
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  50
  ChapTer Six
  SySTeM and COMBaT 
  
  52
  The Laundry
  Differences of more than 10 characteristic points between 
  the active and passive characteristics usually indicate an 
  automatic success for the active characteristic. The Game 
  Master may allow the outmatched party to make a Resistance 
  roll in such cases, with only a result of 01 counting as a 
  success. This is the equivalent of a freak accident or 
  incredibly lucky shot.  
  Time 
  Timing is everything and it is especially important when 
  trying to determine who does what to who and in what 
  order. Usually, the in-game time that your character 
  experiences is nowhere near the equivalent of the time you 
  and the other players actually spend playing. Sometimes, the 
  Game Master may need to summarise the events of many 
  days or longer in a single sentence, such as ‘A week later, 
  you’ve all been transferred to the special facility in Dunwich,’ while 
  at other times – especially action sequences – the actions 
  of only a few seconds of time can take several minutes or 
  longer to resolve. The three important distinctions of time 
  are narrative time, the turn, and the round. 
  Narrative Time 
  Most of the time, you and the other players will be using 
  narrative time. Narrative time is squishy and elastic... a 
  momentary glimpse at a horrific sight might take several 
  minutes to describe completely (and resolve the effects 
  of), while a week-long ocean voyage can be handled in a 
  sentence. If large amounts of time are being dealt with in 
  this fashion, the Game Master should allow for the Player 
  Characters to perform any activities that could fit into this 
  timeframe, within reason. 
  The Turn 
  Turns are used when it is important to take note of the 
  exact passage of time outside of action sequences. Each 
  turn equals five minutes (25 rounds). Turns are used for 
  general movement when there is no conflict or other 
  event that needs to be handled on a round-by-round basis. 
  The round is also a general measure for how long certain 
  activities will take, particularly actions that are not during 
  combat, such as picking a lock or finding a book in a library. 
  In these cases, the Game Master may rule that a certain task 
  takes a number of turns to complete. 
  The Round 
  A round consists of 12 seconds of fast–paced activi-
  ty. Rounds are used during action sequences, when it is 
  important to note exactly what happens and in which 
  order. If an action sequence takes more than one round, 
  then another round begins immediately after and they 
  continue until the action sequence is over. Unless otherwise 
  occupied, your character can make one attack (or other 
  action) and one defensive action in a round, though special 
  circumstances may allow for more or fewer actions. 
  Time and Movement 
  How fast and how far characters can move can be crucial 
  during action sequences, though the farther a character is 
  travelling, the less detail that is, usually, required. The MOV 
  characteristic is used to measure character movement and 
  usually MOV is only really important when time is measured 
  in rounds. Your character’s MOV characteristic determines 
  how far they can travel in a round, with each point of MOV 
  being worth between one and five metres, depending on the 
  rate of speed. Humans have a MOV value of 10, meaning 
  that they can move anywhere between 10 and 50 metres 
  in a 12-second round: walking to sprinting. The following 
  table has some sample MOV rates for different creatures 
  and vehicles:  
  Movement Rates
  Rate
  MOV
  Human
  10
  Bicycle 
  50
  Dog
  12
  Horse
  16
  Motorcycle 
  166
  Car
  134
  Sports car 
  200
  Lorry 
  100
  Commuter train
  80
  Bullet train 
  366
  Sailboat
  15
  Yacht
  66
  Speedboat
  80
  Battleship
  100
  Submarine
  83
  Helicopter 
  200
  Small prop plane
  200
  Bomber
  334
  Jet airliner 
  1,084
  Jet fighter 
  1,334
  Chases are covered in the Spot rules on page 59 of this 
  chapter, representing circumstances where one party is 
  trying to catch up with or overtake the other. 
  Combat
  ‘I can shoot at targets, sure, and I’m death on wheels 
  when it comes to terminating cases of demonic possession 
  with extreme prejudice, but the idea of killing a real 
  human being in cold blood, some eating breathing 
  sleeping guy with a job on a rich man’s yacht, makes 
  all the alarm bells in my head go tilt.’ 
  — The Jennifer Morgue 
  Unfortunately, one of the easiest ways to end your 
  employment at Capital Laundry Services is a violent death. 
  Combat is an almost-inevitable part of Laundry missions, 
  and one that requires specific rules to handle exactly what 
  happens when, who can act at a particular time and what 
  actions your character is capable of in the tense seconds 
  of a fire fight or action sequence. This section covers the 
  variety of actions that may occur in combat. 
  
  53
  6 SySTeM&CoMBaT
  The Round 
  A round is 12 seconds long, where your character can 
  perform one or more actions and react to other actions. A 
  round consists of four phases. During each of these phases 
  a number of things can happen, such as skill rolls, attacks, 
  dodges, movement and so on. The phases of a round are:  
  1. 
  Initiative 
  2. 
  Movement  
  3. 
  Actions 
  4. 
  Resolution 
  The phases of a round are described in the order that each 
  character resolves them, so you first determine when your 
  character can act (Initiative), they then move when it is their 
  turn to act (Movement), then they roll to see whether an 
  action succeeded or failed (Actions), then they determine the 
  outcome of that action (Resolution). The phases of a round 
  always occur in the same order and are repeated by each 
  character within each new round until the combat is over. 
  1. Initiative
  The order in which characters can act in a round is their 
  initiative, a value determined by DEX, with all participants 
  in the round acting on their DEX characteristics, counting 
  down from highest to lowest. This is called your DEX 
  rank. Initiative is determined before any other actions can 
  be attempted. Usually the Game Master counts down from 
  the highest DEX to the lowest, calling on each player to 
  state their intended actions when their DEX rank is called 
  and announcing how Non-Player Characters will act on 
  their DEX ranks. If there is a need to determine who acts 
  first when DEX ranks are tied, use the relevant skill; the 
  character with the higher skill rating going first. If these are 
  still tied, the actions occur simultaneously. Once initiative 
  for a round of combat is known, the Game Master may ask 
  that all participants in the round announce their intended 
  actions or can simply skip this phase and allow actions as 
  the DEX ranks occur. Once it is your character’s turn to act, 
  movement begins.  
  2. Movement 
  Your character can move around 30 metres in a combat turn 
  if performing no actions other than defensive (parries or 
  dodges). Your character can move between 6 and 15 metres 
  and still act at half of  their normal DEX rank. Moving 
  between 16–29 metres in a Combat Round means that your 
  character acts at a quarter of their normal DEX rank. In 
  most circumstances, your character moves before acting, 
  whether the action is an attack or other activity. The spot 
  rule section titled ‘Actions While Moving’ on page 58 of 
  this chapter covers this in more detail. Once movement has 
  been completed, it is time to move onto the actions phase 
  of the round. 
  3. Actions
  Your character, as well as every other character, can act 
  on their DEX rank, with higher ranks going before lower 
  ranks. Someone with DEX rank 15 goes before someone 
  with DEX rank 14 and so on. If there are multiple 
  characters attempting to act on the same DEX rank, attacks 
  ChapTer Six
  SySTeM and COMBaT 
  
  54
  The Laundry
  are performed in order of weapon type, with firearms 
  and other projectile weapons firing before all others, then 
  longest weapons to shortest weapons, then characters who 
  are unarmed. For firearms allowing for multiple shots per 
  round, subsequent shots after the first occur on later DEX 
  ranks. The rules for ‘Multiple Shots’ on page 56 covers this 
  in more detail. 
  If you are attacked during a round, you can attempt to 
  dodge or parry the attack. Dodges and parries occur within 
  the same DEX rank as the original attack and are covered 
  in more detail later. Your character cannot both dodge and 
  parry in a round. Each dodge or parry after the first is at a 
  –30% modifier, cumulative. 
  These are the most common actions performed in a round 
  of combat: 
  Attack: Your character can attempt to attack an opponent, 
  by identifying the opponent, determining the chance of 
  success and trying to roll equal to or below that chance. 
  If the roll to attack is successful, the target may attempt to 
  dodge or parry. If the roll to attack is a special success, the 
  dodge or parry roll must also be a special success. 
  Dodge: A dodge is determined after the attack roll is 
  made. If the attack fails, it does not need to be dodged. 
  If the attack is successful, the attacked character may wish 
  to dodge it. To dodge, your character must be able to see 
  the attack coming. A special success is required to avoid 
  an attack with a special success result. Dodging firearms, 
  supernatural weaponry like basilisk guns or other high-
  velocity attacks is Difficult.
   
  Parry: Parrying is knocking or blocking the attacking 
  weapon out of the way. A parry is determined after the 
  attack roll is made. If an attack fails, it does not need to 
  be parried. To attempt to parry an attack, your character 
  must be able to see the attack coming. For hand-to-hand 
  weapons, your chance to parry is equal to your chance to hit. 
  For improvised weapons or weapons not normally used to 
  parry, see the spot rules for ‘Improvised Weapons’ on page 
  61. A special success parry is required to block an attack 
  with a special success result. It is Impossible to parry firearms 
  or high-velocity weapons unless using a shield of some sort. 
  Miscellaneous Action: In a round of combat, your 
  character may also attempt a wide range of potential 
  actions too numerous to list here. These can range from 
  characteristic or Resistance rolls, many skills or other actions 
  which may not require a roll. In this time, your character 
  may try to reload or unjam a firearm, cast a spell, activate 
  a program on a palmtop, unlock a door, start a vehicle and 
  so forth. The Game Master is the arbiter of whether a 
  particular skill can be attempted successfully in a 12-second 
  round and should rule accordingly. Generally, taking more 
  time (5 DEX ranks) can add a +10% modifier, repeatable 
  up to the unmodified chance of success, while taking less 
  time can modify the chance of success by –10% for a slight 
  rush to –20% for foolhardy speed. 
  A quick means of determining the outcome of an attack 
  versus a defensive action is to compare levels of success, 
  just as with skills: special success > success > failure. A 
  success will cancel out an equivalent levels of success. The 
  table opposite summarises the results of combat rolls.  
  4. Resolution 
  Once your character has acted, it is time to determine what 
  the resolution of their action is, whether it be the effects of 
  damage or some other desired result. 
  Damage: As previously described, a successful attack that 
  strikes the intended target inflicts damage. You should roll 
  the damage dice and add your character’s Damage Modifier 
  if the attack is with a hand-to-hand weapon. If the attack is 
  a special success, double the weapon’s rolled damage.
  Parry: If your character parried a normal attack successfully, 
  there is no need to resolve anything further. If the attack 
  was a special success, however, this might cause damage to 
  the weapon. Weapons and shields can take damage from 
  being used to parry special successes and can even break 
  if their Hit Points are overcome. If the shield or weapon 
  is broken while parrying, the attack continues onto your 
  character and strikes them for the remainder of the damage 
  (if any). This is also true for attacks that your character 
  makes: if the result is a special success and the attack is 
  parried normally, determine your damage as normal and 
  apply it to the weapon or shield being used to parry the 
  attack. 
  Miscellaneous Action: Again, there are too many 
  potential actions to list the effect of each. If the action is 
  a success, then the desired effect is achieved. If the action 
  fails, nothing happens. If it is a fumble, the Game Master 
  describes the unfortunate result. If the action is a special 
  success, then the resolution is an extremely favourable one. 
  When the last character involved in the round has completed 
  their resolution phase and the DEX rank countdown 
  reaches 0, any potential effects that are ‘once per round’ or 
  anything that lasts for the duration of the round ends at this 
  time. This might include poisons, acid, fire, sorcery or other 
  miscellaneous conditions. 
   
  Special Successes in Combat 
  Whenever your character achieves a special success in 
  combat, this signifies a greater-than-average strike that 
  does more damage than a normal attack would. It could 
  be that your character struck a vulnerable organ, caused 
  hydrostatic shock, rooted deep within the target, bypassed 
  armour or some other favourable result. A special success 
  in combat allows you to roll the damage dice, apply 
  any dice modifiers such as +1 and double the result. 
  If the attack is a hand-to-hand attack, the Damage Modifier 
  is added on top of the doubled damage, not doubled. The 
  slight advantage that hand-to-hand weapons have over 
  
  55
  6 SySTeM&CoMBaT
  firearms is more than compensated for in the advantages of 
  being able to attack at range, rate of fire and the increased 
  success chances from modifiers such as range, aiming, 
  sights and so on. 
  If the Game Master is not entirely satisfied with this 
  treatment of special success damage, the following options 
  are provided to be used instead of the doubling of damage: 
  Bypassing Armour: For a heavily-armoured target, such as 
  someone in full riot gear, ballistic mesh or a creature with 
  supernaturally-tough hide, a special success may bypass 
  armour entirely rather than doing double damage. This 
  represents striking the target in a place that is not covered 
  by the armour. If the target is covered entirely with armour, 
  the attack struck in some weak point. 
  Impaling: Firearms (and other pointed weapons) have the 
  advantage of being able to impale a target, lodging deep 
  within the body. For a special success with an impaling 
  weapon such as a firearm, the weapon does its maximum 
  damage plus normal damage. For example, a Glock 17 does 
  1d10 damage. A special success results in an impale, doing 
  10+1d10 points of damage. 
  Bleeding: A slashing weapon like a knife, sword or claws 
  might instead cause massive haemorrhaging, requiring 
  immediate medical attention to prevent the target from 
  bleeding to death. A special success with an appropriate 
  weapon does normal damage, but causes the target to 
  suffer 1 Hit Point in additional bleeding per round until a 
  successful First Aid or Medicine roll is made on the wound. 
  This bleeding stops naturally after a number of rounds 
  equal to the Hit Points of the original injury. 
  Crushing: For heavy, blunt weapons such as clubs, rifle 
  butts, fists and chairs, a special success represents additional 
  force and gravity coming to bear on the target. A special 
  success with a blunt weapon allows your character to double 
  their Damage Modifier after it is rolled. 
  Knockback: A brawling attack, explosion, automobile 
  impact or other attack involving a lot of kinetic force may 
  cause knockback to occur, sending the target reeling, flying 
  or staggering away from the direction of the attack or down 
  onto the ground prone. A special success with a knockback 
  pits the target’s SIZ against the amount of damage taken on 
  the Resistance table. Only the target of the attack needs to 
  roll. If they are successful, they remain upright. If they fail, 
  they are knocked one metre backwards for every point of 
  damage caused by the attack. At the end of the knockback 
  distance, the target must make an Agility roll to remain 
  standing. If the target hits anything such as a wall or car 
  before the end of the knockback distance, they will take 
  another 1d6 points of damage. 
  These results are not cumulative and multiple results should 
  not be applied to a specific target. If the Game Master is 
  using these alternate forms of special success in combat, 
  they are advised to only utilise them with specific weapon 
  types and to apply them consistently to all special successes. 
  Fumbles in Combat 
  With all of the different events occurring in pitched 
  combat, it is entirely likely that your character will somehow 
  screw up and do the wrong thing. It happens to everyone 
  sooner or later and fumbles in combat represent anything 
  from a weapon breaking, friendly fire, a stumble or another 
  freak occurrence. If your character achieves a fumble result 
  through an activity relating to combat, roll on the Combat 
  Fumbles table overleaf. 
  Firearms have their own particular type of fumble, called a 
  jam. Whenever a fumble is rolled with a firearm, the weapon 
  may have had a misfire, jam or other malfunction. Jams are 
  covered in ‘Jammed Weapons’ on page 57. 
  Combat Results Summary
  Attack Roll
  Dodge Roll
  Parry Roll
  Result
  Special Success
  Special Success
  Special Success
  Parrying weapon takes normal damage. If 
  dodging, attack misses. 
  Special Success
  Success
  Success
  Parrying weapon takes double damage. If 
  dodging, attack does normal damage. 
  Special Success
  Fails
  Fails
  Attack does double damage.
  Special Success
  Fumbles
  Fumbles
  Attack does double damage, defender fumbles. 
  Success
  Special Success
  Special Success
  Attack is parried or dodged. If parrying, attacking 
  weapon takes normal damage. 
  Success
  Success
  Success
  Attack is parried or dodged.
  Success
  Fails
  Fails
  Attack strikes for normal damage. 
  Success
  Fumbles
  Fumbles
  Attack strikes for normal damage, defender 
  fumbles. 
  Fails
  No roll required
  No roll required
  Attack misses.  
  Fumbles
  No roll required
  No roll required
  Attack misses, attacker fumbles. 
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  Combat Fumbles 
  d100 
  Result
  01–15 
  Character loses the next attack, dodge, parry 
  or other activity. 
  16–25
  Character loses the next 1d3 rounds by some 
  freak mishap. 
  26–40
  Character falls down and is prone.  
  41–55
  Vision becomes obscured; lose –40% on all 
  appropriate skills for 1d3 Combat Rounds.
  56–65
  Drop weapon and it slides or bounces 1d6–1 
  metres away. 
  66–80
  Do 1d6 damage to weapon’s Hit Points (or use 
  result 81–85 if the weapon has no Hit Points). 
  81–85
  Break weapon; weapon is useless, regardless 
  of current Hit Points. 
  86–95
  Hit nearest ally for normal damage or use 
  result 56–65 if no ally nearby. 
  96–98
  Hit nearest ally for special damage or use 
  result 56–65 if no ally nearby.
  99
  Blow it; roll twice more on this table (roll 
  again if this result is rolled). 
  00
  Blow it badly; roll three times more on this 
  table (roll again if this result is rolled again). 
  Weapons
  Unless suicidal, your character is likely to go into the field 
  armed with some sort of weapon other than a handy 
  palmtop and a working knowledge of ISO-9000 compliance 
  procedures. Weapons are described with the following 
  characteristics: 
  Skill: The skill or specialty used to wield the weapon. 
  Base: The default chance to use the weapon, which any 
  Skill Points are added to.  
  Dmg: The damage that the weapon does if used successfully. 
  RoF: Rate of fire: the number of attacks per round that 
  your character can make with the weapon. 
  Range: The base range of the weapon (in metres). 
  Mal: The chance of the weapon malfunctioning or jamming. 
  HP: The weapon’s Hit Points.
  Ammo: The type of ammunition the weapon uses, if any.  
  SIZ: The weapon’s SIZ characteristic. 
  A variety of weapons used by Laundry agents and their foes 
  are provided in Chapter 10: Tools of  the Trade. 
  Shields
  Essentially, a shield is a weapon primarily used to parry 
  attacks with. Parrying with a shield follows the same rules 
  as parrying with a weapon, though only low-velocity missile 
  weapons (thrown, arrows and so on) can be parried with 
  a shield. Shields cannot parry high-velocity weapons like 
  firearms effectively, with any attempts Difficult. 
  Armour
  Armour protects its wearer from being injured. Armour 
  is defined by its armour protection value, which is how many 
  points are subtracted from damage. When your character is 
  hit in combat, subtract the armour’s protection value from 
  the points of damage that were taken. Damage above and 
  beyond the armour’s protection value bypasses the armour 
  and is inflicted on the character. If your character’s armour 
  protection value is higher than the damage taken, your 
  character does not take any damage. Armour may impose a 
  penalty on some of your character’s skills, as some types of 
  armour are bulky and hinder free movement.  
  Damage Modifier 
  The Damage Modifier is added to (or subtracted from) 
  any hand-to-hand damage that your character inflicts. In 
  the case of a special success, the Damage Modifier is not 
  doubled: instead, it is added after any damage is doubled. If 
  the Damage Modifier is a negative modifier, it is rolled and 
  subtracted from the overall damage total, though it cannot 
  reduce the results of a damage roll to below 0 points of 
  damage.
  Spot Rules for Firearms 
  The majority of combat that your character will be facing 
  will likely involve shooting something or being shot at, so 
  firearms and gunplay require more extensive rules coverage 
  than do hand-weapons or unarmed combat. Following are a 
  variety of issues and rules covering gunplay. 
  Multiple Shots 
  Firearms are quicker than hand-to-hand attacks, as it is far 
  quicker to squeeze a trigger than it is to swing an axe or 
  throw a dagger. Firearms have a rate of fire (RoF) rating, 
  representing their rate of fire. Your character can fire up to 
  the weapon’s rate of fire in shots per round rank without 
  penalty to accuracy. The first shot is at the shooter’s full 
  DEX rank, a second is at DEX –5 and a third at DEX 
  –10. If the reduction to DEX takes your character below 
  DEX rank 0, your character is too slow to fire the third shot 
  allowed.    
  Automatic Weapons and Burst Fire
  Many automatic weapons such as submachine guns, 
  machine guns and assault rifles have the ability to fire 
  more than a single bullet per pull of the trigger. These 
  weapons generally have settings for single shot, burst fire 
  or full automatic. Burst fire is generally a small group of 
  around three shots, while full automatic (autofire) allows the 
  weapon to discharge bullets so long as the trigger is held 
  down. Bursts or autofire occurs at the attacker’s full DEX 
  rank rather than at later increments. 
  Obviously, firing more bullets at a single target increases the 
  chance of hitting it. For bursts and autofire each additional 
  shot beyond the first increases the chance to hit by +5%, up 
  to double the attacker’s unmodified skill chance. For burst 
  or autofire, roll an appropriate dice to determine how many 
  of the shots actually strike. For example, for a four-shot 
  burst, roll 1d4 to determine how many shots actually strike 
  
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  6 SySTeM&CoMBaT
  the target. If the roll is a special success, only the damage 
  from the first shot is doubled: further shots do normal 
  damage. 
  Firing at multiple targets with burst fire or autofire does 
  not add to the attacker’s chance of success. Instead, the 
  attacker rolls for attacks against everyone in the area they 
  are shooting at, with the attacker choosing how many 
  shots are directed at each target, up to the total number of 
  shots fired. The attacker rolls for one attack per target and 
  determines how many bullets strike them as per burst fire.  
  Range 
  How close a target is can affect your character’s chance 
  of hitting it. Each firearm has a range rating, representing 
  the basic range that the weapon can be used at. This is not 
  the actual range of the firearm: it is an increment used to 
  determine how the range affects the chance of success. 
  Whenever your character is going to shoot someone (or 
  something), the distance to the target should be determined 
  in metres and compared to the following range modifiers:
  Point-Blank: Point-blank range is when the target is 
  closer than the attacker’s DEX/3 in metres (round up). It 
  is considered Easy to shoot someone within point-blank 
  range.   
  Normal Range: Normal range is the distance between 
  point-blank and the weapon’s range rating. There is no 
  modification for range when shooting a target at up to the 
  weapon’s normal range. 
  Extended Range: At up to twice the weapon’s range the 
  attack becomes Difficult. At up to three times the range, the 
  attack chance is a quarter of the normal chance, at up to 
  quadruple range the chance is 1/8 the normal chance to 
  hit and beyond four times normal range a shot becomes 
  Impossible.
  Gear such as laser sights, scopes and bipods may affect a 
  weapon’s operational range and are covered later in this 
  section. 
  Jammed Weapons 
  If the roll to attack using a firearm is equal to or greater than 
  the malfunction rating, the weapon jams or malfunctions in 
  some fashion and cannot fire again in the round. 
  For revolvers, bolt-action rifles and breech-loaded shotguns, 
  the problem is a bad round of ammunition. The weapon 
  can be fired the next round once the round is ejected. 
  For automatics, semi-automatics, machine guns, pump-
  action shotguns and assault rifles, the malfunction is a jam. 
  Fixing a jam takes 1d6 rounds plus a successful roll of 
  either Fine Manipulation, Repair or the skill of the firearm 
  being used. At the end of the 1d6 rounds, the attacker can 
  attempt the skill roll to unjam the weapon. If unsuccessful, 
  they can attempt every round thereafter until the weapon is 
  unjammed. Rolling 96 or higher while attempting to unjam 
  the weapon breaks it, rendering it inoperable and useful 
  only as an awkwardly-shaped club or flashy paperweight.   
  Aimed Attacks 
  A character armed with a firearm or other missile weapon 
  can take aim, increasing the chance of success or striking a 
  desired location. 
  To take more time for improved accuracy, your character must 
  delay their action by 5 DEX or more. For each increment 
  of 5 DEX, your character can add 10% (cumulative) to their 
  next attack. Aiming can carry over for additional rounds, 
  but the bonus cannot exceed your character’s normal basic 
  chance with the attack skill. If your character is distracted 
  or takes any other physical action while aiming, the bonus is 
  lost. Increments of smaller than 5 DEX do not carry over 
  round-to-round. 
  If your character is targeting a specific area of a larger target, 
  modify the base chance by the following modifier: –10% if 
  the part of the body is large (torso); –25% if the targeted 
  area is less than half the size of the overall target; and –50% 
  if the targeted area is less than one-fourth the size of the 
  overall target. 
  These modifiers can be cumulative, so that the difficulty of 
  targeting a specific area can be offset by spending additional 
  time to aim. 
  Reloading Firearms 
  It takes one round to reload a clip-fed weapon and one 
  round to load two bullets or shells into a non-clip-fed 
  weapon. If your character is in dire straits, they can load 
  one bullet and get off a shot at half your character’s DEX 
  rank (round up). It takes two rounds to load a machinegun 
  belt or a larger-scale heavy weapon. 
  Firing Two Guns at Once 
  If your character is inspired by the example of Chow Yun- 
  Fat or Neo, they can try to hold and fire two handguns 
  in the same round of combat. This is an effective means 
  of sacrificing accuracy for the ability to fill an area with a 
  spray of stray bullets and will certainly earn your character a 
  round of abject mockery from any member of the Artist’s 
  Rifles who witnesses such unbridled jackassedness. If your 
  character’s Firearms skill is 101% or higher, they can split 
  the skill between two attacks, though each attack must be at 
  least 50%. These attacks are modified by the circumstantial 
  modifiers for handedness. If your character’s Firearms 
  skill is 100% or below, any attempt at two-fisted gunplay 
  are considered unaimed (see ‘Unaimed Shots’ for more 
  information). 
   
  Unaimed Shots 
  A weapon’s rate of fire determines how often your character 
  is able to squeeze off careful shots at the target. Sometimes, 
  though, a Laundry agent in trouble may just want to unload 
  at a target, squeezing the trigger until it goes ‘click.’ This sort 
  of shooting is essentially unaimed and allows your character 
  to shoot a number of shots equal to twice the weapon’s 
  normal rate of fire, though with a chance of success equal 
  to 1/5 of your character’s normal chance. If there is more 
  than one target, the Game Master should make Luck rolls 
  to determine who gets hit (opposed rolls: the loser gets hit). 
  Unaimed shots can impale, if the modified roll is a special 
  success. 
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  Firing into Combat 
  Firing at a target that is engaged in combat lowers the 
  chance of success by a 20% modifier, if your character is 
  being discerning about who gets hit. If not, the chance is 
  unmodified and a miss automatically hits anyone near the 
  target (use opposed Luck rolls to determine who gets hit: the 
  loser is struck by the stray bullet). Firing a missile weapon 
  at another character while both the attacker and target are 
  engaged in combat modifies the chance of success by –40%. 
  Drawing or Exchanging a Weapon 
  Drawing a handgun from a holster takes 5 DEX ranks, 
  meaning that if your character begins a round without a 
  firearm in their hand, they act on their DEX minus 5. Putting 
  a firearm away takes the same amount of time. It takes no 
  DEX ranks to drop a gun. A special speed-draw holster cuts 
  this time down to 3 DEX ranks. If your character’s DEX 
  is reduced to below zero, they cannot act in the round and 
  will only be able to act on their normal DEX rank in the 
  following round. These rules may also apply to other hand 
  weapons. 
  Stray Bullets
  No matter how careful your character is, there may come 
  times when they are forced to shoot when innocent (or 
  inadvertent) targets are in the line of fire. If a shot misses 
  the target in an area where other characters (player or 
  non-player) are potential targets, the Game Master should 
  determine who may likely be struck by the stray bullet. 
  Anyone caught in the line of fire must make a successful 
  Luck roll to avoid being struck by a shot that has missed 
  its target. If everyone makes their Luck roll, the stray bullet 
  continues on its way before burying itself in some portion 
  of the environment. The immense feeling of guilt caused 
  by friendly fire incidents can cause pales in comparison to 
  the mountain of paperwork and the threat of a seat before 
  the Auditing Board.     
  Other Firearm Gear  
  If you would like your character to have greater accuracy 
  than the naked eye provides, they can fit their firearm with a 
  number of optional bits of equipment to improve accuracy 
  and address specific goals.
  Scope or Sight: Affixing a regular sight to your character’s 
  firearm doubles the normal range so that attacks remain 
  accurate. A laser sight triples the weapon’s effective ranges. 
  Using both a scope and a laser sight quadruples the effective 
  ranges. Both of these must be used with the aiming action, 
  described previously. 
  Suppressor: A suppressor (also called a silencer) is a tube 
  filled with sound baffles that muffles the sound of gunfire 
  and disguises it as something else. A suppressor reduces the 
  chance of someone hearing a gunshot by 20% and adds 
  5% to the firearm’s accuracy. Disposable suppressors last 
  for d10+10 shots, while high-quality suppressors can last 
  up to 30,000 shots. Older suppressors reduced the muzzle 
  velocity of the bullet, but modern suppressors no longer 
  have this drawback. 
  Flash Suppressor: A flash suppressor is a tube-like metal 
  shape that fits on the end of a rifle or automatic weapon, 
  disguising the muzzle-flash caused by the explosive release 
  of gunfire. A flash suppressor reduces the chance of a 
  gunshot being seen by 20% and is not compatible with a 
  sound suppressor (described previously). 
  Bipod: Many assault weapons have integral bipods. Using a 
  bipod increases your character’s accuracy with such weapons 
  by 20%, though they limit your character’s movement, 
  providing a 20% bonus to any attacks against them while 
  using a bipod.  
  It should be noted that most of these pieces of firearm 
  gear are illegal for civilian use and are frowned upon for 
  Laundry missions due to the attention they draw from law 
  enforcement. If your character insists on utilising a laser 
  sight or suppressor on a regular basis while on missions for 
  the Laundry, they may be evaluated as more suitable for 
  membership in the SAS or OCCULUS. 
  Spot Rules For Unusual Situations
  Spot rules cover a variety of situations that may arise in 
  play and may require additional guidance. These include 
  environmental issues, damage from other sources or 
  modifiers that may affect gameplay. 
  Acid
  Acid or other corrosive agents can cause serious harm to 
  your character. A weak acid does one point of damage 
  per round, a strong acid does 1d4 points of damage per 
  round and an extremely powerful acid does 1d6+1 points 
  of damage per round. Armour protects against acid for one 
  round per point of armour and the armour loses one point 
  of armour protection for each round that it is exposed to 
  acid.   
  Actions While Moving 
  If your character is riding a horse or motorcycle, driving 
  a car, piloting a boat or performing any other form of 
  ‘powered’ movement while attempting another action, 
  your character’s chance of success with the skill is lowered 
  to the appropriate chance of success for the appropriate 
  Drive Pilot or Ride skill, if it is lower than the other action’s 
  chance. The penalties for attempting two actions with two 
  hands may also apply: see the circumstantial modifiers for 
  handedness on page 49. 
  Ambushes 
  If one party in a conflict has successfully made a Stealth 
  or Hide roll and remained undetected (versus a Listen, 
  Sense or Spot roll), they can ambush the other party. If the 
  attacks are with missile weapons, the ambusher gets a single 
  Combat Round where all of his or her attacks are Easy. If 
  the ambusher is using a hand-to-hand weapon, the defender 
  can only try to Dodge or parry (if a weapon is available) 
  for one Combat Round. Combat is handled normally in the 
  next round.
   
  Area Attacks 
  Some types of attacks – such as explosives – are not directed 
  at a specific target but instead affect everything in that area. 
  If your character is in an area where an attack is aimed, 
  
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  6 SySTeM&CoMBaT
  they can attempt a Dodge roll to get out of the way and 
  avoid all damage or an Agility roll to reduce damage to half. 
  Your character must pick which of the two rolls to attempt. 
  Whichever roll is attempted, your character must make an 
  additional Agility roll to remain upright. If your character 
  takes damage from an explosive area attack, they may be 
  knocked back (see the spot rules for ‘Knockback’ earlier in 
  this chapter). 
  Chases  
  Chases, whether on foot or in vehicles, are sometimes 
  necessary when a suspect gives flight or when attempting to 
  get away from a ravenous horror. There are just too many 
  potential variables that a chase might include, from the 
  speed of the parties involved, the environment, types of 
  vehicles, mixing combat with pursuit and so forth, so chases 
  should essentially boil down to a few simple principles and 
  careful judgment from the Game Master. The first step to 
  determining the outcome of a chase is determining what 
  the goals are of each of the involved parties. The ‘winner’ is 
  the party to achieve their goal. Following are guidelines for 
  determining the outcome of any chase: 
  Speed: The Game Master should compare the relative 
  MOV values of each of the involved parties. A quick way to 
  determine who wins for inequal MOV values is to roll the 
  MOV values of each party as a Resistance roll. The winner 
  is the one with the better roll. 
  Skill: If the MOV values are even, the parties involved 
  should make opposed skill rolls to determine who wins. 
  Applicable skills could be Athletics, Drive, Pilot or Ride. 
  The winner of the opposed skill achieves their goal in the 
  conflict. 
  Environment: The environment that the chase is taking 
  place in may be less than ideal and circumstantial modifiers 
  could come into play. The Game Master should use these 
  judiciously. 
  Duration: How long does the chase go on for? If it is long 
  enough, the Game Master may resolve the chase through 
  several rounds, or longer, or may even require appropriate 
  rolls to remain involved, such as Endurance for footraces. 
  Combat: Does the chase involve combat? The Game 
  Master should determine if the parties involved are able to 
  attack or defend against one another. The rules on ‘Actions 
  While Moving’ earlier in this chapter may be applicable. 
  Ultimately, the Game Master should resolve the outcome of 
  a chase using common sense and only rely on dice rolls to 
  resolve issues that are truly in question. If a chase’s outcome 
  seems inevitable or obvious to everyone concerned, then the 
  Game Master should simply declare the outcome without 
  needing to go through round after round of dice rolling. 
  Choking, Drowning and Asphyxiation 
  If your character is deprived of oxygen for some reason, 
  each round they must make a roll based on CON to 
  remain conscious and avoid damage. If your character was 
  expecting the oxygen deprivation, for the first round the 
  roll is the equivalent to an Easy Endurance roll (CON x 
  10)%. For the second round, the roll is reduced to CON x 
  9. The third round the roll is CON x 8 and so on until the 
  10th round when suffocation becomes inevitable (CON x 
  0). If your character was not expecting the lack of oxygen, 
  the first round is equivalent to an unmodified Endurance 
  roll (CON x 5), reduced to CON x 4 for the second round, 
  CON x 3 the third round and so on. Any roll your character 
  fails causes them to take damage of the following type: 
  1d6 points for lack of oxygen from choking, 1d8 points 
  for inhaling water, 1d4 points for inhaling smoke and 1d8 
  points for an average toxic gas. See the Grapple skill on page 
  38 for information on breaking free from being choked. 
  Cold or Heat Exposure 
  If your character travels outside of London, perhaps even 
  to the surface of an alien world, they may be exposed to a 
  variety of harsh environmental conditions. If your character 
  is inadvertently exposed to the effects of intense cold or 
  heat and is inadequately protected against these extreme 
  temperatures, your character must make an Endurance 
  roll to resist taking damage. How often this roll must be 
  attempted depends on how severe the conditions are. For 
  relatively survivable conditions (deep winter), the roll must 
  be performed daily. For incredibly hostile but terrestrial 
  conditions, the roll must be performed hourly. For 
  inhospitable, alien conditions, the roll must be attempted 
  every turn or even every round. If the roll is failed, your 
  character takes 1d6 points of damage. The Game Master 
  should determine how useful any protective gear is and 
  subtract a number of points from the damage as if it were 
  armour protection. 
  Cover 
  Hiding behind something larger than, equal to or up to 
  half of the character’s SIZ can offer a defensive bonus. If 
  the item can serve as cover, any missile attacks against the 
  concealed character are Difficult. An attack that is higher than 
  the modified chance of success and lower than the normal 
  chance of success is assumed to hit the cover. The Game 
  Master should determine if the attack passes through the 
  cover, reducing damage appropriately (a brick or metal wall 
  might stop the attack completely, a thin wood wall might 
  only reduce damage by four points) as if it were armour 
  protection.
  Desperate Action 
  If your character has already performed all of their 
  available actions in a round and absolutely must perform 
  an additional action before that round finishes, the Game 
  Master may allow your character to make an action on DEX 
  rank 0. To be able to do this, your character must make a 
  successful Difficult Agility roll. Failing the Agility roll means 
  the desperate action cannot be attempted. If the Agility 
  roll is successful, your character may attempt the desperate 
  action at a –30% modifier if they have performed any 
  physical activity during the course of the round. Whether 
  the action can be attempted or not, your character is off-
  balance and unable to do anything other than dodge or 
  parry in the following round. 
  Disarming 
  If your character wants to disarm an attacker (or even an 
  ally), they can attempt to do so in one of two ways: by 
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  grappling with them and attempting to wrest the weapon 
  from their grasp, or by attacking the target’s hand and/
  or weapon and attempting to dislodge it. For a grappling 
  attempt, the description of the Grapple skill on page 38 
  addresses this in detail. For an attack against the weapon 
  itself, your character must make a normal attack with a 
  –40% modifier. If the attack is directed at the hand, roll 
  damage normally and divide in half. The target suffers the 
  damage and must make a Difficult Endurance roll to keep 
  the weapon in hand. If the attack is directed at the weapon 
  to dislodge it, the target must make a Difficult Effort roll to 
  keep the weapon in hand. If the attack was made to destroy 
  or damage the weapon, roll damage normally and apply it 
  to the weapon in a Resistance roll. If the weapon wins the 
  Resistance roll, it takes half the rolled damage and if it loses, 
  it takes full damage. 
  Disease 
  If your character is exposed to a minor disease vector (from 
  an infected person or other source), make a Stamina roll 
  to avoid catching it. Failure means your character catches 
  the disease. The Game Master should choose the symptoms 
  of the disease. Minor diseases usually exhibit symptoms 
  within a few days and generally cause only discomfort and 
  inconvenience (1D3–1 Hit Points damage and generally 
  crumminess). The Medicine skill, rest and pharmaceuticals 
  can generally restore these lost Hit Points and reduce 
  symptoms. Every day, have your character attempt a new 
  Stamina roll. If successful, the disease runs its course within 
  1d6 days. If the roll fails, the disease lingers. 
  For a more serious or more virulent disease, the chance to 
  resist is based on a potency for the disease (a value chosen 
  by the Game Master, equivalent to a characteristic). To avoid 
  contacting it, make a Resistance roll with your character’s 
  CON versus the disease’s potency. The Game Master 
  must also determine the disease’s effects and its duration. 
  Generally, more serious diseases involve a loss of points 
  from one or more characteristics for the disease’s duration. 
  A horrible disease might cause your character to lose 1d6 
  CON and 1d6 STR once infected, adjusting Hit Points 
  and Damage Modifier while under the condition. Once 
  the duration of the disease is passed, your character must 
  make another Resistance roll of CON versus the disease’s 
  potency to shake it. If the roll is a failure, the character can 
  try again the next day. The disease will dissipate shortly 
  after the character succeeds with the Resistance roll and any 
  lost characteristic points will return at a rate of one point 
  per week of relative rest. Successful use of the Medicine 
  skill may reduce the duration of a disease by half. Another 
  successful Medicine roll may reduce the disease’s potency by 
  1d6 points for the purpose of determining recovery.  
  Explosions 
  An explosion inflicts a combination of concussion, 
  projectiles and sometimes even flame on anyone caught 
  within its blast radius. The Game Master should determine 
  the blast radius of an explosion in metres (some explosives 
  are described in Chapter 10: Tools of  the Trade). 
  Generally, the damage dice of an explosion is reduced by 
  1d for every two metres or so from the epicentre, with 
  
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  characters at ground zero taking the full dice roll in damage 
  and characters at the periphery only taking 1d in damage. 
  Your character can use the Demolition skill to increase 
  the yield of an explosive, doubling its effective damage or 
  increasing its range by an additional 50% (choose one for a 
  successful skill roll). 
  Attacking someone with an explosion is either automatic 
  (for stationary explosives) or requires a successful Throw 
  roll to hit near the intended target. Getting away from 
  an explosion requires either a Difficult Dodge or Difficult 
  Athletics roll. However, if the roll would have been 
  successful, reduce the damage by 1d. If your character takes 
  damage from an explosion, they must make a Resistance roll 
  with their SIZ versus the damage they took to avoid being 
  knocked down. 
  Falling 
  Falling from a height can be painful and cause broken bones, 
  ruptured organs and other calamitous injury. A falling 
  character takes 1d6 points of damage per 3 metres distance, 
  rounded up. Your character can reduce the damage from 
  falling by half if they make a successful Athletics or Jump 
  roll for any distance less than SIZ/3 (rounded up). Beyond 
  that distance, damage cannot be modified or reduced by a 
  controlled landing. The surface that a falling character lands 
  on can modify the damage, from half for a relatively soft 
  landing spot to three quarters damage for a fall broken by 
  tree limbs and so forth. Armour does not protect against 
  falling damage. 
  Fatigue 
  If your character performs some especially taxing physical 
  action or extended level of activity for a prolonged period 
  of time, they may become fatigued. Your character should 
  make a Endurance roll to determine whether they are 
  fatigued: success means that they are not fatigued and 
  failure indicates that your character is weary and all of their 
  physical actions are Difficult until they have the chance to 
  rest for at least an hour, though preferably a good night’s 
  sleep is in order. 
  Fire and Heat 
  Fire can be as lethal as a gunshot or car crash. If your 
  character is exposed to intense heat or even set aflame, use 
  the following guidelines to determine how much damage 
  they take: 
  •	
  A minor flame does one point of damage per 
  round.
  •	
  An amount of flame the size of a torch does 1d3 
  points of damage per round. 
  •	
  A large bonfire does 1d6 points of damage per 
  round. 
  •	
  Being trapped inside a conflagration does 1d6+3 
  points of damage per round and may also cause 
  asphyxiation (see those rules on page 59 of this 
  chapter). 
  •	
  Intense heat such as molten metal, a jet engine and 
  so forth does 3d6 points of damage per round. 
  Armour does half its normal protection value against flame. 
  Special protection such as fire-fighter gear offers protection 
  against flame just as if it were armour, such as four points 
  for basic thermal protection, eight points for fire-fighter 
  gear and up to 16 points for special fireproof suits. If your 
  character is caught on fire, they must make an Agility roll to 
  get the flaming clothing off within the round. Fire damage 
  occurs at the end of each round on DEX rank 0, giving 
  your character the entirety of the round to get out of its 
  proximity. 
  Helpless Opponents and Sneak Attacks 
  If a potential target is unaware of an attacker, the target 
  must make a Difficult Listen, Sense or Spot roll. If the target 
  fails the roll, they remain unaware and the attacker can 
  make a sneak attack against the target. The initial attack is 
  considered Easy and cannot be parried or dodged. Attempts 
  at dodging or parrying further attacks in the remainder of 
  the round will be Difficult.   
  Improvised Weapons 
  Your character may need to use whatever comes to hand for 
  a weapon if caught unarmed or unawares. For a general rule 
  of thumb, when determining the damage of an improvised 
  weapon, use a die type with a maximum value roughly 
  equivalent to the SIZ of the item, though the wielder must 
  successfully make a STR vs. SIZ Resistance roll to use 
  the improvised item effectively in combat. An ungainly 
  improvised weapon has a base chance of 10% to attack or 
  parry and one that is relatively easy to use as a weapon has 
  a base chance of 20%. Use the item’s SIZ as its Hit Points 
  if they are required. 
  Knockout Attack 
  Your character can attempt to knock another character 
  unconscious rather than killing him. To knock someone 
  out, make a Difficult attack and roll damage as normal, 
  subtracting armour. Compare the damage done against the 
  injured character’s Hit Points (total, not current). If the 
  damage is equal to or greater than half of the character’s 
  normal Hit Point total, the character is knocked out, with 
  no actual damage being done. If the damage rolled is equal 
  to or less than half of the normal Hit Point total, the attack 
  does minimum possible damage (the lowest the dice can 
  roll, including the minimum strength bonus) in Hit Points 
  and the target is not knocked out.  
  Large and Small Targets 
  It is easier to hit large targets and harder to hit smaller 
  targets. For a target more than double your character’s SIZ, 
  the chance to hit is at +20%. If the target is greater than 
  three times your character’s SIZ, the chance to hit is at a 
  +40%. For a target of half or less your character’s SIZ 
  (round down), the chance to hit is at –20%. If the target is 
  SIZ 2 or smaller, the chance of hitting is modified by –40%. 
  Poison 
  All types of poison are measured by their potency rating, 
  a value like one of your character’s characteristics. The 
  potency rating of a traditional poison is matched against 
  the poisoned character’s CON in a Resistance roll. If the 
  victim loses the roll, the potency of the poison inflicts 
  an amount of damage equal to its potency. If the victim 
  wins the Resistance roll, the character only takes half the 
  potency from the poison (round up). Poisons may be fast-
  ChapTer Six
  SySTeM and COMBaT 
  
  62
  The Laundry
  acting or slow acting, doing their damage anywhere between 
  three rounds and three turns. Other types of poison may 
  be directed at a characteristic rather than at Hit Points, so 
  instead of Hit Points being lost, the victim’s characteristic 
  points are lowered. Generally, if a characteristic reaches 0, 
  the victim is dead. Above are some sample poisons.
  Prone 
  If your character is prone (lying on the ground), any attacks 
  directed at them are Easy and any attempts at attacking with a 
  hand-to-hand weapon, dodging or parrying are Difficult. Any 
  hand-to-hand attacks made from a prone position lose the 
  advantage of a positive Damage Modifier, though firearms 
  gain a 10% circumstance modifier if a prone character has 
  their arm(s) braced for the shot. Your character can make a 
  Difficult Dodge roll to instantly regain their feet if knocked 
  prone or an Easy Agility roll as their next action to stand 
  upright quickly.  
  Pulling Blows 
  Your character can ‘pull’ any attack in an attempt to do less 
  damage. By simply stating the intent to inflict less damage, 
  your character can forgo any positive Damage Modifier or 
  reduce the damage dice of any weapon or brawling attack to 
  a lower dice type, at a minimum of one point of damage. If 
  attempting to lower the dice type below half of the weapon’s 
  normal damage dice (for example, lowering a d10 damage 
  die to a d4), the attack becomes Difficult. Any modifiers to 
  the damage roll are still applied. 
  Surprise 
  If your character is thrust into combat or a perilous situation 
  suddenly, without any warning, they must make a successful 
  Idea roll to catch their wits and perform any defensive 
  or reactive actions (dodges, parries, jumps) in the round 
  they are surprised. Assuming they are aware of the danger 
  that they are in, your character can act normally the next 
  round. If both sides in a conflict are surprised, everyone 
  involved should make a Luck roll. Success means that those 
  characters can react in the first round, while everyone else 
  is considered to be disoriented or hesitant for the duration 
  of the round. 
  Underwater Combat 
  While attempting to fight underwater, your character’s 
  combat skills (other than Grapple) are limited by the base 
  chance of their Swim skill. Each round of combat, your 
  character must make a Swim roll to be able to attack. If the 
  skill roll is unsuccessful, your character cannot attack in that 
  round. High-velocity weapons such as firearms have their 
  range halved and do half damage beyond point blank range. 
  Normal physical skill use is at a –20% penalty, at the Game 
  Master’s discretion. 
  Experience and Improvement 
  Aside from, well, living, an advantage to surviving missions 
  in service to the Laundry means that your character has the 
  chance of learning something and actually becoming better 
  at their job. Skills that your character utilises successfully in 
  the course of a mission have a chance of improving and if 
  your character’s characteristics are taxed, these also have a 
  (slight) chance of improvement. 
  Aside from the experience gleaned from the field, your 
  character can also embark on many potential courses of 
  study between missions. Capital Laundry Services offers a 
  variety of coursework and surveys for agents and employees 
  wishing to better themselves or become more fit for their 
  duty and your character may wish (or may be forced) to 
  take advantage of these opportunities for educational 
  improvement. 
  Improving Skills Through Experience
  If your character succeeds in using a skill in the course 
  of a mission, there is a chance that skill will improve. 
  As described in Chapter 5: Skills, you should place a 
  checkmark next to any appropriate skill that was used 
  successfully in play, once per session. Multiple successes do 
  not yield multiple checks. Successful use in two different 
  specialties means two experience checks, not one. Using a 
  skill when it is Easy does not count towards an experience 
  check, nor does substituting a related skill. Finally, using a 
  skill in a non-threatening situation where nothing is at stake 
  does not count for an experience check. 
  Sample Poisons 
  Poison
  Speed of  Effect
  POT
  Symptoms
  Arsenic
  ½ to 24 hours
  16
  Burning pain, vomiting, violent diarrhoea.
  Belladonna
  2 hours to 2 days
  16
  Rapid heartbeat, impaired vision, convulsions. 
  Black Widow 
  venom
  2–8 days
  7
  Chills, sweating, nausea. 
  Chloroform
  1 Combat Round
  15
  Unconsciousness, depressed respiration. 
  Cobra venom
  15–60 minutes
  16
  Convulsions, respiratory failure. 
  Curare
  1 Combat Round
  25
  Muscular paralysis, respiratory failure.
  Cyanide
  1–15 minutes
  20
  Dizziness, convulsions, fainting. 
  Rattlesnake 
  venom
  15–60 minutes
  10
  Vomiting, violent spasms, yellowish vision. 
  Scorpion venom
  24–48 hours
  9
  Intense pain, weakness, haemorrhaging. 
  Sleeping pills
  10–30 minutes
  6
  Normal sleep; each additional dose increases the chance for 
  respiratory failure by 5%. 
  Strychnine
  10–20 minutes
  20
  Violent muscle contractions, asphyxiation. 
  
  63
  6 SySTeM&CoMBaT
  At the end of the mission, the Game Master should ask 
  you to make an experience roll for each skill your character 
  successfully checked. To make an experience roll, roll d100 
  and attempt to roll higher than the skill’s normal base 
  chance. You can add your character’s Experience Bonus 
  (half of their INT, rounded up) to the experience roll. If 
  the experience roll is higher than the skill, you can roll 1d6 
  and add the result to that skill’s current base chance. 
  Generally, this is done at the end of a mission, though 
  the Game Master may allow you to make additional skill 
  improvement rolls for longer missions or any stretches 
  of time where your character can rest and reflect on what 
  has transpired so far. Depending on events, the Game 
  Master may even tell you that you may automatically make 
  an experience roll, such as demonstrating extraordinary 
  competency or having a period of time particularly devoted 
  to improvement of that skill. 
  Improving Skills Through Training 
  If your character is sent to any of the wide range of training 
  seminars offered by the British government or the Laundry, 
  or embarks on any of the other educational opportunities 
  available to them, they may increase their skills accordingly. 
  Characters may be sent on training courses by their 
  superiors or purchase them through budget allocations. For 
  more details, see Chapter 11: Budgets, Requisitions and 
  Training. 
  Improving Skills Through Research 
  If your character chooses to try to learn skills through 
  self-guided study or personal research, your character must 
  study for a number of hours equal to their current rating 
  in the skill (this can be broken up over time). At the end 
  of the period of study, make a roll of the skill, adding the 
  experience bonus. If the roll is over the current skill level, 
  your character has learned from the study and gains 1d6–
  2 Skill Points. It is possible to lose points in a skill with 
  unguided study, though the percentage cannot drop below 
  0%. 
  Improving Characteristics Through 
  Experience  
  Your character can potentially modify their characteristics 
  through various in-game methods. STR, CON and 
  DEX can potentially be improved whenever they are 
  tested successfully in a Resistance roll versus a superior 
  characteristic, up to the highest value of one of those three 
  characteristics. If your character is successful after such a 
  Resistance roll, you should take note of that. When rolls 
  for skill experience is determined, subtract your character’s 
  current characteristic from 21 and multiply the result by 
  five to determine the percentage chance of improvement. 
  Experience bonus is not included. If successful, the 
  characteristic increases by one point. If the result is 0%, 
  no improvement can be made. Only one such roll may be 
  attempted for a number of months equal to your character’s 
  current rating in that attribute. 
  Your character’s POW can be similarly improved, though 
  the resulting characteristic improvement roll is 1d3–1, there 
  is always a minimum 05% chance and there is no limit to 
  how often improvements may be tested. POW is usually 
  increased by sorcerous activity and once those muscles are 
  flexed, they tend to bulk up rapidly. 
  Improving Characteristics Through Training 
  Though your character’s other characteristics cannot be 
  improved through experience, they can be improved 
  through training. 
  INT can be improved through intense coursework and 
  training specifically aimed at sharpening cognitive abilities, 
  problem-solving capability, memory and other functions of 
  Intelligence. 
  SIZ can be modified upwards by a diet consisting of high-
  protein foodstuffs and bodybuilding with emphasis on 
  physical mass or it can be reduced by strict dieting and 
  exercise with emphasis on weight loss. 
  CHA can be improved with a Pygmalion-esque course of 
  study devoted to improving manners, charm, appearance 
  and self-confidence. 
  Each course of training takes a number of months equal 
  to your current characteristic in months. Self-guided 
  improvement takes twice as long. You and the Game 
  Master should determine how this training is undertaken 
  and who the instructor or coach is. At the end of the course 
  of training, subtract your character’s current characteristic 
  from 21 and multiply the result by five to determine the 
  chance of success. Your character must roll below this, 
  with success yielding a single point of improvement (or 
  reduction, if desired for SIZ). A fumble on this roll costs 
  one characteristic point.  
  ChapTer Six
  SySTeM and COMBaT 
  
  64
  The Laundry
  Getting injured hurts and causes damage to the human 
  body, which is represented by the loss of Hit Points. Hit 
  Points are a temporary characteristic: they can fluctuate 
  throughout the course of an investigation as your character 
  is injured, receives medical attention (first aid, surgery) and 
  heals naturally. Chapter 6: System and Combat covers 
  many ways to lose Hit Points through combat or other 
  mishaps and this chapter deals with Hit Points in more 
  detail – including minor, major and fatal wounds – as well 
  as healing and medical care. 
  As defined in Chapter 3: Basic Rules and Chapter 4: 
  Creating Your Character, your character’s Hit Points are 
  equal to the average of their CON and SIZ, rounded up. A 
  further value, the major wound threshold, is equal to half of 
  the normal Hit Point total. 
  Getting Hurt 
  Whenever your character is injured, cross off the number 
  of Hit Points equal to the number of points of damage 
  they have received, starting from the number of current 
  HP. Though your character may have suffered a variety of 
  minor and major wounds, the individual wounds are not 
  treated separately and are instead assumed to be a collective 
  loss. It is not necessary to keep track of how many HP your 
  character loses to each individual injury. 
  When your character has only two or fewer Hit Points 
  left, they fall unconscious and stay unconscious until they 
  receive successful medical attention, regain Hit Points to 
  make their total three or more or after one hour of sleep. 
  At zero Hit Points, your character dies at the end of the 
  following round. This can be prevented by any successful 
  medical attention that restores your character to one or 
  more Hit Points. 
  Minor Wounds 
  A minor wound is any wound that is less than your character’s 
  major wound threshold (half of their Hit Points, rounded 
  up). For example, if your character has 13 Hit Points, their 
  major wound threshold is 7. Any injuries that do only 1, 2, 
  3, 4, 5, or 6 Hit Points in damage are minor wounds. These 
  represent painful grazes, contusions, scrapes, bruises or 
  other minor injuries that will not form lasting scars or have 
  long-lasting effects. Your character can take any number of 
  minor wounds without long-lasting effect so long as their 
  current Hit Point total remains above 2. 
  The accumulation of many small injuries is not without 
  its disadvantages: if your character loses a number of 
  Hit Points in minor wounds equal to their major wound 
  threshold, they must make a successful Stamina roll to 
  remain conscious. If the roll is successful, your character 
  can continue to act without difficulty. If the roll fails, 
  your character falls unconscious for one hour. As noted 
  previously, when your character’s Hit Points reach two or 
  less, they will fall unconscious. 
  Major Wounds
  Whenever your character receives a single injury that inflicts 
  a number of Hit Points in damage equal to or greater than 
  their major wound threshold (half of total normal Hit 
  Points, rounded up), they have suffered a major wound. 
  This is a more serious and incredibly painful injury that 
  may have immediate and long-lasting effects. When your 
  character receives a major wound, the Game Master should 
  roll d100 on the Major Wound Table and apply the result 
  to your character, in addition to the Hit Point loss from the 
  injury. 
  damage&healing
  ‘I can shoot at targets, sure, and I’m death on wheels when it comes to terminating cases of demonic possession 
  with extreme prejudice, but the idea of killing a real human being in cold blood, some eating breathing sleeping 
  guy with a job on a rich man’s yacht, makes all the alarm bells in my head go tilt.’
   — The Jennifer Morgue
  
  65
  7 daMaGe&heaLInG
   
  ChapTer Seven
  The effect of a major wound is immediate and represents 
  enough physical trauma that your character may go into 
  shock. After receiving a major wound, your character can 
  only act for as many rounds as they have remaining Hit 
  Points. At the end of that period, your character drops 
  unconscious for one hour or until receiving successful 
  medical attention. 
  After your character receives a major wound, you should 
  immediately attempt a Luck roll. Success means that the 
  wound eventually heals cleanly and your character does 
  not suffer the described characteristic point losses or 
  permanent disfigurements (if any). Failing this roll means 
  that your character suffers the described penalties, including 
  any specified characteristic point loss and disfigurement. 
  Any characteristic point losses result in corresponding 
  losses to the associated characteristic rolls and derived 
  characteristics, so re-figure those based on the new 
  characteristic value.
  Fatal Wounds 
  A fatal wound is any wound (minor or major) that takes 
  your character to 0 Hit Points. When your character reaches 
  0 Hit Points, they have become metabolically challenged. 
  They drop anything they are carrying and, if possible, 
  immediately fall down prone (or suffer an equivalent and 
  suitable loss of vertical orientation). At 0 Hit Points, your 
  character cannot initiate any action of their own and they 
  are going to die at the end of the next round unless drastic, 
  immediate and successful medical attention is provided. 
  Major Wound Table 
  d100
  Result
  01–10
  Damaged leg tendons cause limping; crushed or broken ankle bones cause limping; back muscles or spinal nerve 
  damage bends the torso to the left or right; a shattered knee cannot bend; or make up a new wound effect. Lose 
  1d3 DEX. The maximum MOV is now reduced by the same 1d3 result. Your character is still able to fight.
  11–20
  Much of your character’s nose has been crushed or sliced away; multiple scars deface both hands; an ear has 
  been severed or crushed to pulp; a livid scar lends an evil cast to your character’s appearance; or make up a new 
  wound effect. Lose 1d3 APP. This visible and unappealing deformity cannot be disguised. Your character is still 
  able to fight. 
  21–30
  Wrist or hand damage; a slab of arm or shoulder muscle has been cut away or pulped; a chunk was hewn from 
  thigh or calf muscles; spinal nerves are damaged; several fingers or toes are severed or crushed; or make up a new 
  wound effect. Lose 1d3 STR; this loss may change what weapons can be used. Roll 1d6: 1–4 = primary hand, 5–6 
  = secondary hand. Your character is still able to fight with a weapon in the uninjured hand. 
  31–40
  A punctured lung leads to a weakened respiratory system; deep stomach wounds become chronically re-infected 
  or belly wounds weaken digestion and general health; kidneys and liver are damaged; or make up a new wound 
  effect. Lose 1d3 CON, maximum MOV is now reduced by the same 1d3 and Hit Points may be lowered. Your 
  character is still able to fight.
  41–50
  Concussion damages hearing and limits Listen and Insight to maximums of 75%; an injury to the head thereafter 
  requires Luck rolls each time to use any mental-based skills; blows or cuts which affect depth perception leave 
  missile weapon skill ratings at a maximum of 75%; multiple wounds to the face and neck limit any communication-
  based skills to 75% maximum; or make up a new wound effect. Lose 1d3 INT. Your character is still able to fight. 
  51–60 
  Refer to 01–10 for what happened, which now expands to the loss of one or both arms or legs. Lose 1d6 DEX 
  and reduce maximum MOV by that same amount. Your character is unable to fight. 
  61–70
  Refer to 11–20 for what happened, though the major wound now includes worse mutilations. Lose 1d6 CHA; it 
  creates one or more visible deformities that cannot be disguised. Your character is still able to fight.
  71–80
  Refer to 21–30 for examples of mutilating cuts and losses. Lose 1d6 STR; change Hit Points and damage bonus. 
  Your character is still able to fight.
  81–90
  Refer to 31–40 for various wounds to the vitals. Lose 1d6 CON; may affect Hit Points, damage bonus and 
  reduces MOV by that number of units equal to the 1d6 result rolled. Your character is unable to fight. 
  91–92
  Bad facial and vocal cord injuries. Lose 1d6 CHA; lower the Influence roll respectively. Your character is still 
  able to fight.
  93–94
  Broken bones and severed ganglia. Lose 1d6 DEX; from now on your character can only use one-handed melee 
  weapons. Your character is still able to fight using his or her remaining arm.
  95–96
  Nerve damage to left or right arm (roll 1d6; a result of 1–3 is the left arm, 4–6 is the right arm). Lose 1d6 DEX; 
  hereafter your character can only wield weapons or equipment in his or her undamaged arm. Your character is 
  still able to fight using his or her remaining arm.
  97–98
  Nerve damage to both arms. Lose 1d6 DEX; though the legs are fine, neither arms nor hands can wield anything. 
  Your character is unable to fight, unless using his or her legs or head butts. 
  99
  Your character is mutilated with vicious wounds. Lose 1d3 points each from CON, DEX and CHA and describe 
  the results. Your character is unable to fight.
  00
  Spectacularly horrible and debilitating complications ensue from the extensive injuries. Remove 1d4 points each 
  from any of four characteristics (GM’s discretion as to which) and describe the results. Victim is unable to 
  perform any strenuous activity and will likely need long-term physical and psychological counselling afterwards.
  
  66
  The Laundry
  Death 
  If, through any combination of minor and major wounds, 
  your character is injured and goes below 0 Hit Points and 
  into negative Hit Points, they suffer additional mutilation 
  and destruction of the body. Just as at 0 Hit Points, when 
  your character is reduced to below 0 Hit Points they can only 
  survive until the end of the next round. The negative Hit 
  Point value should be noted, as any medical treatment for a 
  character with negative Hit Points is considered Difficult. To 
  survive, your character must have their Hit Points restored 
  to a positive number (1 Hit Point or more) through medical 
  attention before death. 
  If the Game Master allows it, your character can choose 
  to spend their dying moments relaying last-ditch important 
  information (requiring a successful Luck roll to get it out), 
  attempting a minor physical action, such as triggering 
  a secreted grenade (an Agility roll would be required), or 
  attempting to die in a suitably dignified and aesthetically-
  pleasing fashion (succeeding in an Influence roll). 
  After death, your character is more-than-likely removed 
  from play, though if Human Resources have anything to do 
  with it they may become necromantically repurposed and 
  continue to serve the Laundry in a variety of exciting roles 
  such as night guard, filing clerk, coffee runner or internal 
  delivery assistant. In this case, control of your character 
  passes over to the Game Master and you should (if desired) 
  begin to create a new agent using the now-familiar guidelines 
  presented in Chapter 4: Creating Your Character. 
  Healing 
  Fortunately, lost Hit Points are not gone forever and will 
  heal naturally or can be restored through medical attention. 
  Assuming that your character is not suffering from some 
  debilitating illness and is taking it relatively easy, they recover 
  1d3 Hit Points at the end of one week of relative rest. This 
  can include desk assignments or light administrative duties. 
  This continues until your character has reached their normal 
  Hit Point total. 
  If your character is in hospital, complete bed rest, receiving 
  medical attention or recuperating in one of the Laundry’s 
  retreats, such as The Village in Dunwich, the caregiver can 
  attempt an additional First Aid or Medicine roll, above any 
  such rolls that have previously been attempted. Success 
  yields an additional 1d3 Hit Points healed, as per the skill 
  descriptions in Chapter 5: Skills. 
  If your character is in a dismal or unsanitary environment, 
  continues physical exertion or is receiving no medical care 
  at all, they must succeed in a Stamina roll in order to heal 
  1d3 Hit Points each week. Failure means that no healing 
  occurs. Any attempt at medical attention in such conditions 
  is Difficult. 
  Medical Care
  Getting medical attention can speed the healing process: 
  successful use of the First Aid skill will restore 1d3 Hit Points 
  lost through injury, while successful use of the Medicine 
  skill can restore Hit Points lost through illness, disease and 
  so forth, or can be used for long-term medical care in place 
  of First Aid. See the description of the Medicine skill on 
  page 42 of Chapter 5: Skills.
  Characteristic Point Loss and Recovery 
  In some cases, characteristic point loss is not permanent 
  and lost characteristic points return with time. The rate 
  of characteristic point recovery should be provided with 
  the description of any condition that causes temporary 
  characteristic point loss. However, if your character suffers 
  permanent characteristic point loss as the result of a major 
  wound, illness or other cause, you must recalculate the 
  relevant characteristic roll(s) and any derived characteristics 
  based on the new, lower characteristic value. This can be 
  offset by recovering the characteristic point through medical 
  attention (see the Medicine skill on page 42) training or 
  experience (see ‘Improving Characteristics’ on page 63 of 
  Chapter 6: System and Combat). 
  Getting Sick 
  If your character is exposed to a disease of some sort, make 
  a Stamina roll to see if they manage to resist catching it. 
  Depending on the virulence of the strain, the Game Master 
  may make the roll Difficult. For a minor illness (allergies, 
  cold, flu, stomach virus) your character may lose one or two 
  Hit Points for the duration of the illness. Generally, most 
  minor illnesses last 1d6 days. At the end of the illness, the 
  lost Hit Points are restored. Each day after contracting the 
  illness, make a Difficult Stamina roll: success means that the 
  NOT GETTING kIllED
  The life of a Laundry civil 
  servant involves long stretches 
  of utter boredom punctuated by 
  spasms of horrific violence. Bob 
  Howard, for example, gets through 
  the whole of The Fuller Memorandum 
  largely unscathed, until the 
  bit where he is cannibalised by 
  cultists. One stray bullet or 
  rampaging monster can permanently 
  damage a character in a single 
  attack. Humans are squishy.
  If you expect trouble, take 
  precautions. Bulletproof vests, 
  protective wards, tanks... 
  anything to keep from getting 
  eaten by horrible things. At the 
  very least, your standard issue 
  Necronomiphone has the level one 
  Defensive Binding spell, which 
  can give five points of ablative 
  armour in an emergency. Raise your 
  shields before going into a fight.
  
  67
  7 daMaGe&heaLInG
  daMage & heaLing
  illness was shaken and your character recovers. Keep making 
  these rolls until the illness is shaken or it runs its course. A 
  successful Easy Medicine roll increases the success chance 
  of the recovery Stamina roll to Average (unmodified). 
  A major disease will generally attack Hit Points and CON. 
  These can range from diseases causing one Hit Point loss 
  per day or per week in damage or they could reduce CON 
  by one point per day. Fast-moving and extremely virulent 
  diseases such as Ebola or various flesh-eating bacteria may 
  cause one Hit Point of damage per hour if not resisted. 
  A Game Master wanting to introduce the threat of disease 
  should determine the nature of the disease, how it manifests 
  in terms of characteristic and/or Hit Point loss, how severe 
  it is and how it can be fought, using the previous suggestions 
  for a minor illness as a guide. 
  Laundry employees are requested to provide a doctor’s 
  note after taking any sick days. Failure to produce such a 
  note results in the sick days being taken from your leave 
  allocation instead. 
   
  ChapTer Seven
  I spent a lot of time in hospital recently, so here are a few added thoughts on the Laundry and 
  work-related injuries.
  Firstly, physiotherapy is boring. really, really boring. I couldn’t move my right arm for weeks, 
  and while I’m used to typing one-handed (har har), I still couldn’t do much with a computer. I 
  would say no internet and no games make Bob something something, but I don’t make jokes about 
  going crazy anymore. not after Brookwood.
  Secondly, the Laundry does take care of its own. I can’t complain about the treatment I got - top 
  quality surgery, plenty of recuperation time, and a physiotherapist who probably trained under 
  himmler, but kicked my ass and got me motivated to work on my recovery instead of wallowing 
  in depression. 
  Thirdly, using magic to speed healing is a bad idea. It’s doable - the Black Chamber, for example, 
  are really good at it. we’ve seen their agents take a sniper shot to the centre of mass, and be back 
  on the streets within 24 hours. The downside of magic healing is all the side effects. If you just 
  throw on a probability-manipulation field to speed cell growth, you’re opening the patient up to 
  a variety of exotic cancers. you can invoke a wigener’s-Friend intermediary, but that’s got it’s own 
  issues. you’re very likely to end up with a passenger bound into your flesh.
  (I’ve always worried about alan Barnes. he took a lot of radiation back in the amsterdam affair. 
  I thought he was dying when I visited him afterwards, but he bounced back. I know they grow 
  them tough in the artist’s rifles, but that level of recovery is just inhuman.)
  
  68
  The Laundry
  Threats to your character’s physical form are described in 
  Chapter 6: System and Combat, but that is only half of 
  the picture. A greater danger of working for the Laundry 
  is the chance that agents will experience something that 
  sends them on a quick voyage to the local sanatorium and 
  a wardrobe featuring the latest in straightjacket fashion. 
  A direct confrontation with the cosmic horrors that the 
  Laundry fights can end an agent’s career in a moment. 
  A Laundry agent’s mental stability is measured by their 
  current SAN score. SAN is a derived characteristic that 
  determines how psychologically healthy they are and 
  how much horror or shock they can endure before going 
  completely insane. Laundry training makes agents more 
  resistant to insanity than the average person, though this is 
  of small comfort in the face of extra planar horror.
  Chapter 3: Basic Rules briefly described Sanity, while this 
  chapter covers it in detail, including how it is lost, what 
  happens when it is lost and when it is regained. A refresher 
  course on Sanity is presented here: 
  •	
  Your character’s initial SAN score is based on their 
  POW x 5.
  •	
  When making a SAN check, you must roll 
  percentage dice equal to or below your character’s 
  current SAN score.
  •	
  Unlike physical wounds, lost SAN points do not 
  regenerate naturally. 
  •	
  SAN does not normally increase with experience. 
  •	
  The Cthulhu Mythos skill lowers the total SAN 
  that your character can have to 99 – Cthulhu 
  Mythos skill. 
  A further characteristic is the Madness Threshold. This value 
  is the amount of insanity a Laundry agent can lose at once 
  without going temporarily insane. Because of the extensive 
  psychological conditioning that comes with induction into 
  the Laundry, a Laundry agent’s Madness Threshold is equal 
  to their POW characteristic or five (whichever is higher). For 
  civilians, this value is always five. If for some reason your 
  character is new to the Laundry, or is not a part of it, this 
  value is five until they take the psychological conditioning 
  training course. 
  Using SAN for Sanity Checks 
  Whenever your character confronts an unnerving or 
  horrifying situation, you should test their sanity by calling 
  for a Sanity check. Sanity checks are made like a normal 
  skill roll; roll d100 against your character’s current SAN. 
  Rolls less than your character’s current SAN are successful; 
  rolls that exceed the SAN fail. Unlike skill rolls, SAN checks 
  never use difficulty modifiers, circumstantial modifiers or 
  special successes. 
  Succeeding in a SAN check is not always enough to prevent 
  SAN loss. Even a successful roll can result in lost SAN if 
  the experience is horrific enough. Your character should 
  only need to make one SAN check against a particular cause 
  or entity per mission, though subsequent events might 
  require additional SAN checks, if circumstances change or 
  the entity manifests in greater numbers or performs some 
  hideous act. 
  Losing SAN
  Sanity Point costs for horrific experiences or entities are 
  presented with two values (usually a number or a dice value) 
  separated by a slash. The number before the slash equals the 
  number of SAN your character loses if the roll is successful 
  and the value after the slash indicates how many SAN are 
  lost if the SAN check fails. If the SAN loss value is a dice 
  roll, the dice are rolled and the amount is subtracted from 
  your character’s current SAN. The Game Master may also 
  decide that conditions may modify the amount of SAN lost 
  from a specific event. Seeing lots of demonic entities or 
  undead, or being injured by a monster in the same round 
  as seeing it could cause a loss of the maximum amount of 
  SAN. 
  The following table serves as a guide to potential SAN losses 
  from a variety of experiences or entities. The Game Master 
  is encouraged to use these as guidelines for situations or 
  experiences not addressed in this table. 
  Growing Accustomed to Horror 
  It is possible that your character can max out on lost SAN 
  from a specific event or creature if it is encountered too 
  often in a short period of time. As a guideline, during a 
  mission, if your character has lost the maximum possible 
  SAN points from a specific type of monster or encounter, 
  no further SAN checks are required for that experience 
  while on the mission. 
  Furthermore, your character can simply grow accustomed 
  to a particular type of entity. If your character succeeds 
  in a number of SAN checks against a particular type of 
  entity equal to the maximum number of SAN points the 
  creature’s appearance can cost, your character is assumed
  Sanity & insanity
  ‘Every so often you think you’ve got a handle on this job, on the paper clip audits and interminable bureaucracy 
  and committee meetings, and then something insane crawls out of the woodwork and gibbers at you, something 
  crazy enough to give James Bond nightmares but just happens to be true.’
  — The Fuller Memorandum 
  
  69
  8 (In)SanITy
  Examples of  SAN Losses 
  Unnerving or Horrific Situation
  SAN Loss
  Suffering a shock or extreme surprise in tense situations.
  0/1
  Finding a mangled animal carcass by surprise.
  0/1d2
  Finding a human corpse by surprise .
  0/1d3
  Having a close brush with death (near fall, car crash).
  0/1d3
  Realising someone you are interacting with is undead, possessed by a demon or not human .
  0/1d3
  Finding a severed body part by surprise.
  0/1d3
  Seeing a dimensional rift.
  0/1d4
  Unintentionally causing the death of another.
  0/1d4
  Casting some types of sorcery or using minor magic artefacts.
  0/1d4
  Finding a mangled human corpse.
  1/1d4+1
  Witnessing something doing something abhorrent or ghastly.
  1/1d6
  Witnessing a natural animal behaving in an unnatural fashion.
  0/1d6
  Witnessing a friend or co-worker’s violent death.
  0/1d6
  Committing wilful murder.
  0/1d6
  Seeing a monster (see Chapter 19: Archives for SAN losses per entity).
  Variable
  Casting significant sorcery or using a significant artefact.
  0/1d6
  Seeing something supernatural or patently impossible.
  0/1d6
  Meeting someone you know to be dead.
  1/1d6+1
  Undergoing severe torture.
  0/1d10
  Casting incredibly powerful sorcery or using a powerful artefact.
  0/1d10
  Seeing a corpse rise from its grave.
  1/1d10
  Being used as part of a powerful spell or ritual.
  1d4/2d6
  Being brought back to life after a gruesome death.
  1d6/3d6
  Being possessed by a lesser demon.
  1d6/1d10
  Witnessing mass destruction caused by a demonic entity.
  1d6/2d10
  Inadvertently causing mass destruction or immense casualties.
  1d10/3d10
  Being possessed by a powerful demon.
  1d10/3d10
  Witnessing a primordial chthonic entity in its entirety.
  1d10/1d100
  to automatically succeed against further viewings of the 
  creature and only loses the lowest possible amount of SAN 
  from future encounters with the entity. This makes it useful 
  to keep track of how often you encounter a specific type of 
  entity and whether your character succeeds in a successful 
  SAN roll against it. As Angleton keeps telling Bob Howard, 
  that sort of thing should go in your character’s memoirs. 
  Going Insane 
  The loss of SAN is bad enough, but it corresponds with 
  the risk of actual insanity. Depending on the amount or 
  rate of SAN loss, your character needs to worry about three 
  different durations for insanity: temporary insanity, indefinite 
  insanity or permanent insanity. These are described here. 
  Temporary Insanity 
  If, as the result of a single failed SAN check, your character 
  losses five ore more Sanity Points, he or she has suffered 
  enough emotional trauma to go temporarily insane. After 
  recording the SAN loss, you should immediately try to 
  make an Idea roll. If the Idea roll fails, your character’s 
  mind protects itself by locking the painful memory away. 
  They may act normally for the remainder of the encounter, 
  but will have no memory of what happened when the 
  encounter is over. 
  If the Idea roll succeeds, your character realises the full 
  significance of what was experienced and their psyche 
  crumbles, rendering them temporarily insane. The effects 
  of temporary insanity begin immediately. The Game Master 
  should consult the Temporary Insanity table for more 
  information about the duration and effects of temporary 
  insanity. The Game Master can roll on these tables, 
  choose a result appropriate to the shock or even ask you 
  to determine the most effective result. Most symptoms are 
  self-explanatory. When the temporary insanity subsides, 
  your character may act normally. 
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  Temporary Insanity
  SAN Loss From a 
  Single SAN Check
  Result Duration
  Five or more points but 
  less than half of the 
  character’s POW.
  See the section on ‘Short 
  Temporary Insanity’.
  Five or more points and 
  more than half of the 
  character’s POW.
  See the section on ‘Longer 
  Temporary Insanity’ .
  Short Temporary Insanity lasts for 1d10+4 Combat 
  Rounds. The Game Master should either roll 1d10 or 
  choose the most appropriate result from the adjacent table.
  Longer Temporary Insanity lasts 1d10 x 10 game 
  hours. The Game Master should roll 1d10 and consult the 
  adjacent table or choose an appropriate result.
  Dealing with Temporary Insanity 
  As exciting as the notion of going temporarily insane seems, 
  it could potentially, just possibly represent somewhat of an 
  inconvenience in the middle of a mission. Following are a 
  variety of methods your characters may use to deal with 
  temporary insanity when suffering from it or dealing with 
  others who have rounded that bend. 
  Snapping Out of  It: The Game Master may allow you 
  to bring a temporarily insane character back to lucidity by 
  shaking them, shouting at them, slapping their face and so 
  on. To see if this works, make a POW vs. POW Resistance 
  roll between the temporarily insane character and the one 
  trying to snap them back. If the insane character loses, 
  they can act normally for a single round, then will revert to 
  madness immediately after. The ‘sane’ round does not count 
  as part of the temporary insanity’s duration. 
  Insane Insight: A character at the edge of madness can 
  stumble upon spontaneous revelations or insights, making 
  connections that a rational mind would dismiss. A character 
  that has just gone temporarily insane may attempt an Idea 
  roll. If successful, they may gain a clue about the entity 
  or situation that caused the insanity. Whether or not the 
  character can communicate or act on this insight depends on 
  the symptoms of their insanity. 
  Indefinite Insanity
  If your character loses a number of SAN equal to or greater 
  than their Madness Threshold in one game hour, they go 
  indefinitely insane. No roll is required to determine whether 
  this happens. Your character’s mind has slipped the tracks, 
  snapped under the pressure or gone out to lunch temporarily. 
  They are afflicted with some neurosis, psychosis or other 
  mental illness that lasts for an indefinite amount of time. 
  Indefinite insanity can take a day or as much as a week to 
  manifest. However, once indefinite insanity manifests, it 
  lasts until your character can be cured, through use of the 
  Psychotherapy skill or other means. 
  Short Temporary Insanity 
  d10
  Result
  1
  Fainting or screaming fit.
  2
  Flees in blind panic. 
  3
  Physical hysterics or another extreme emotional 
  outburst (hysterical laughing, inconsolable crying 
  etc).
  4
  An incoherent stream of babbling. 
  5
  An attack of intense phobia, which may root the 
  character to the spot.
  6
  Homicidal or suicidal mania.
  7
  Intense hallucinations or delusions.
  8
  Echopraxia or echolalia, repeating what others 
  nearby do or say. 
  9
  A stupor, the character is awake and able to stand 
  but without any will or interest. They may be led 
  or forced into simple actions but will take no 
  independent action. 
  10
  The character becomes catatonic, assuming the 
  foetal position, oblivious to all events. 
  Longer Temporary Insanity
  d10
  Result
  1
  The character lapses into stupor or catatonia 
  (as described previously) or suffers amnesia 
  (described on page 72). 
  2
  The character suffers a severe phobia. The 
  character can flee but sees the source of the 
  phobia everywhere and must succeed in a Difficult 
  Idea roll each round to temporarily overcome the 
  fear and act normally. 
  3
  The character suffers vivid hallucinations. The 
  character must succeed in a Difficult Idea roll each 
  round to ignore them and act normally. 
  4
  The character is struck with intense hopelessness 
  or despair. If coaxed into action by allies, must 
  overcome extreme lassitude by succeeding in a 
  Difficult Luck roll each round. 
  5
  The character develops a sudden fetishist 
  obsession, latching onto another person or 
  an object as a security blanket. If the fetish is 
  removed from the character’s presence, they 
  suffer an additional short temporary insanity. 
  6
  The character manifests uncontrollable tics, 
  tremors or an inability to communicate via 
  speech or writing. 
  7
  The character is stricken with psychosomatic 
  blindness, deafness or loses the use of one or 
  more limbs (roll 1d4 for the number of limbs 
  afflicted). 
  8
  The 
  character 
  exhibits 
  brief 
  psychosis, 
  represented by incoherence, delusions, aberrant 
  behaviour and/or hallucinations. 
  9
  The character suffers intense, though temporary, 
  paranoia, suspecting anyone and everything of 
  meaning them harm. 
  10
  The character suddenly develops some form of 
  compulsive behaviour, usually a ritual. Examples 
  include repeated hand-washing, constant prayer 
  or recitation, obsessively checking clothing or 
  gear, repeating oneself and so forth. 
  
  71
  8 (In)SanITy
  Indefinite insanity has two major factors: symptoms and 
  severity.
  Symptoms: A list of mental disorders is presented on 
  page 71. The Game Master can roll on this table and assign 
  a neurosis but it is recommended to select a neurosis 
  appropriate to the trauma that produced it. 
  Severity: To measure the severity of an indefinite insanity, 
  the Game Master should assign a potency rating to the 
  disorder. This potency rating should be equal to the total 
  amount of SAN lost in the hour that spurred the indefinite 
  insanity or the value of the greatest single SAN loss. If a 
  character is beset with multiple disorders or symptoms, the 
  Game Master should divide the potency rating between 
  them equally or as seems appropriate.
  Whenever an indefinitely insane character experiences a 
  stressful situation (combat, a tense argument, or anything 
  that might trigger a SAN check), they must overcome the 
  potency of the disorder with a Resistance roll, using their 
  POW to resist. If the character wins, they overcome the 
  disorder and can act normally. If the disorder wins, the 
  character is driven by madness, not reason and must suffer 
  its effects for the rest of the scene. 
  Overcoming Indefinite Insanity
  There are two cures for indefinite insanity: therapy and 
  time. Both of these can reduce the potency rating of an 
  indefinite insanity. Once the potency rating of a mental 
  disorder is reduced to half its original value (rounded 
  down), the symptoms disappear and the character can 
  function normally. 
  Therapy: Before therapy can begin, the character using 
  the Psychotherapy roll (page 43) must succeed in a roll 
  to identify the root and nature of the disorder. Once it 
  has been successfully diagnosed, successful use of the 
  Psychotherapy skill can reduce the potency rating of a single 
  mental disorder by one point per month of treatment or by 
  1d3+1 points if the Psychotherapy roll is a special success. 
  If the character suffers from multiple disorders, treatment 
  can target a specific disorder or results can be applied to 
  multiple disorders. Once the potency rating of a disorder 
  is reduced to zero, the symptoms disappear and additional 
  therapy has no effect. Fortunately, the Laundry has many 
  facilities for the treatment of insane agents. 
  Time: Time heals all wounds and a wounded psyche is 
  no exception to this rule. A character suffering indefinite 
  insanities may attempt a Difficult Luck roll every month 
  after they went insane. If the roll is a success, the potency 
  rating of one disorder drops by one point. This recovery 
  is cumulative with therapy, as described previously. Once 
  the potency rating of a disorder is reduced to zero, the 
  symptoms disappear. In many cases, a Laundry agent will be 
  given a temporary leave of absence to hasten this recovery, 
  though unfortunately it is never enough. 
  Indefinite insanity has no bearing on current SAN totals 
  and disorders do not disappear if the initial SAN loss is 
  restored. As noted previously, the only ways to recover from 
  indefinite insanity are therapy and time… usually plenty 
  of each. If your character has been institutionalised or is 
  otherwise unable to perform their duties, you may wish 
  to create another character to temporarily take over your 
  original character’s assignments, until your original character 
  is fit for duty. 
  Relapsing Into Insanity
  Even if a disorder caused by indefinite insanity has been 
  treated and the character has successfully recovered, there 
  is always a chance that future shocks cause a return of the 
  disorder, stronger than before. The next time the character 
  goes indefinitely insane there is a chance that the disorder 
  returns equal to 5 x the original potency rating of the 
  dormant insanity. A re-emergent disorder has a potency 
  rating equal to the POW rating of the new disorder plus the 
  original rating of the dormant disorder. 
  Mental Disorders 
  These disorders are only defined with simple guidelines 
  and the player is encouraged to role-play them with help 
  from the Game Master. The specific mental disorder caused 
  by a particular experience might be obvious enough that 
  the Game Master can select it or it might be selected by 
  randomly rolling on the Mental Disorder table. The Game 
  Master should roll 1d100 and either consult the following 
  table or choose an appropriate result: 
  Mental Disorders 
  D100
  Mental Disorder
  01–05 
  Addiction
  06–10
  Amnesia
  11–15
  Catatonia
  16–20
  Criminal Psychosis
  21–25
  Defection
  26–30
  Fetish
  31–35
  Hysterical Disability
  36–40
  Megalomania
  41–45
  Multiple Personalities
  46–50
  Obsession
  51–55
  Panzaism
  56–65
  Paranoia
  66–75
  Phobia
  76–80
  Quixotism
  81–90
  Schizophrenia
  91–95
  Stupefaction
  96–00
  Tremors/Physical Symptoms
  These mental disorders have been selected to represent those 
  a Laundry agent might suffer and endure, rather than being a 
  representative sampling of real-world psychiatric conditions 
  and their actual causes. This list is not comprehensive and 
  the Game Master is encouraged to develop new disorders, 
  if desired or required. 
  Addiction: Overcome by the terror and stress of the 
  experience, the character finds solace in alcohol, opium, 
  stimulants or other drugs. This addiction has deleterious 
  effects on physical and mental skills. Details are left to the 
  Game Master but a penalty ranging from –10% to –30% 
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  72
  The Laundry
  to physical and/or mental skills is appropriate. Over time, 
  the addicted character grows tolerant of the drug and must 
  consume more to get the desired result. The expense and 
  illegality of the drug may ruin an addict’s life and addicts can be 
  driven to uncharacteristically risky or illegal behaviour to feed 
  the addiction. Prolonged drug use can lead to characteristic 
  loss or even death. The character must overcome the potency 
  of their addiction on the Resistance table to endure a stressful 
  situation without a fix. If denied their drug, the character 
  must make a Difficult Stamina roll or suffer debilitating 
  consequences, including tremors, hallucinations or skill 
  penalties double those of the drug’s normal effects.
  Amnesia: The character locks away unbearable experiences, 
  effectively erasing their memories. The severity of the 
  disorder indicates how selective or total the amnesia is. 
  Amnesiacs tend to lose memory of specific incidents first, 
  followed by the identities of friends and loved ones, their 
  own identity and finally all mental skills. Language and 
  physical skills are retained. If confronted with forgotten 
  faces or facts, the character can attempt an Idea roll. 
  Success means that the character overcomes the potency of 
  the disorder to gain a bit of recall, usually no more than a 
  cryptic hint or brief flash of memory. 
  Catatonia: As with temporary insanity, the character 
  assumes a foetal position, oblivious to events around them. 
  A catatonic character does not resist being moved and can 
  be made to stand but always reverts back to a foetal position 
  if left alone. Unlike most indefinite insanities, catatonia 
  becomes the character’s default state. In times of stress, 
  success with a Resistance roll overcoming the potency 
  of the disorder provides the character with a window of 
  lucidity lasting 1d6 rounds.
  Criminal Psychosis: This is a dangerous disorder suffered 
  by sociopaths and serial killers. If the character suffers 
  from criminal psychosis, they believe that human beings are 
  utterly separate from one another. Social bonds such as love, 
  truth, friendship and compassion are lies, tools to be used 
  for personal gain. Life has no ultimate meaning. Once the 
  character has this insight, temptations like bullying, threats, 
  fraud and murder are assessed by risk rather than morality. 
  The character becomes a slave of their desires and impulses 
  and must succeed in a Resistance roll vs. the disorder’s 
  potency to refrain from resorting to extreme methods to 
  get what they want. The Game Master should be careful 
  when assigning this disorder, as the consequences may be 
  significant in play. 
  Defection: The character comes to believe that human 
  endeavour is doomed and the only meaning to be found in 
  life comes from worshipping some aspect of the Mythos, 
  such as an alien race or the Great Old Ones. In effect, the 
  character secretly becomes a cultist and may even seek out 
  other worshippers. He has come to believe in the ways of the 
  enemy, like a Cold War spy embracing Communist doctrine.
  Fetish: A character suffering from a fetish becomes 
  unreasonably obsessed with an object, person or condition. 
  The fetish becomes an emotional security blanket or the object 
  of an obsession (see ‘Obsession’, page 73). If the character 
  is denied their fetish, they must succeed in a Resistance roll 
  with their POW vs. the potency of the disorder to remain 
  in control. If the character fails, they suffer severe distress. 
  Treat this as an episode of temporary insanity. Consult ‘List 
  of Phobias’ on page 73 for potential fetishes. 
  Hysterical Disability: The character’s mind ‘disconnects’ 
  a particular sense or a limb as a coping mechanism, leaving 
  them physically disabled. The disability manifests as the 
  loss of a particular sense (commonly sight or hearing) or 
  partial paralysis in one or more limbs. Despite all efforts, the 
  character cannot control or respond to stimuli that affect the 
  paralysed limb or sense. Medical examination and treatment 
  reveals nothing physically wrong with the character but the 
  condition persists. If the character’s life is in danger, they 
  can attempt to use their POW to overcome the potency 
  of the disorder in a Resistance roll. Success means that the 
  condition temporarily clears but as soon as the crisis ends, 
  the condition returns.
  Megalomania: The character’s ego and self-confidence 
  exceed all bounds, giving them a view of reality where they 
  are the centre. Once in the grips of megalomania, a person 
  believes that they are never wrong, only misunderstood. The 
  character feels singled out for greatness and 
  exudes an unshakeable confidence. If events 
  conspire against the character, they suspect 
  treachery, conspiracy or the inadequacy 
  of others. In order to listen to reason, the 
  character must successfully overcome the 
  potency of the disorder on the Resistance 
  table with their own POW.
  Multiple 
  Personalities: 
  The 
  character 
  becomes 
  host 
  to 
  additional 
  derived 
  personalities. These may emerge gradually as 
  coping mechanisms or they may immediately 
  form at the disorder’s onset. In some cases, the 
  character’s original personality is lost or hidden, 
  while in other cases it is dominant. Divide the 
  potency of the disorder by five (rounding 
  up) to determine the number of additional 
  personalities. Additional personalities are not 
  necessarily the same gender or age as the 
  
  73
  8 (In)SanITy
  character and in many cases represent suitable personalities 
  for dealing with specific challenges or situations. Each 
  personality has a name and a distinct behaviour, often 
  associated with a single dominant emotion. In times of 
  stress, the player or Game Master should make a Resistance 
  roll of the disorder’s potency versus the character’s POW. If 
  the character succeeds, they remain in charge. If the disorder 
  wins, an appropriate alternate personality takes over. Each 
  personality may or may not be aware of the others and the 
  character’s original personality is often either oblivious to 
  their existence or perceives them as real people. 
  Obsession: An obsessed character is overwhelmingly 
  preoccupied with a particular goal or an exaggerated aspect 
  of personal behaviour. This overshadows all aspects of 
  life, causing the character to withdraw from friends and 
  family, slip up at work and withdraw from communication. 
  The source of the obsession is usually based on fear of 
  some sort. The obsessed character must overcome the 
  disorder’s potency with their POW in a Resistance roll to 
  avoid the obsessive behaviour or to embark on any course 
  of action that does not help achieve this goal. In time, the 
  disorder causes the character to become an insomniac, with 
  alternating periods of mania and deep depression. 
  Panzaism: Overwhelmed by the terror of the supernatural, 
  the character resorts to extreme denial, refusing to see even 
  the most extraordinary things as anything but ordinary, 
  creating explanations to rationalise any unusual experiences. 
  The character must overcome the potency of the disorder 
  with a Resistance roll versus their POW to see the 
  paranormal for what it is. A panzaic character does not need 
  to make SAN rolls for seeing monsters, though gruesome 
  sights and stress still affect him or her. Panzaism may seem 
  like a blessing, though for Laundry work that denial can 
  leave an agent oblivious to danger.
  Paranoia: The character is ruled by suspicion and cannot 
  trust anyone. Friends and co-workers become suspicious, 
  though strangers are considered more threatening, especially 
  those with cultural or social differences. Some paranoids 
  are open with their feelings, becoming misanthropes, 
  while others mask it, behaving agreeably while developing 
  complex rituals of protection or schemes of revenge. The 
  character must overcome the potency of the disorder 
  versus their POW with a Resistance to be convinced of the 
  paranoia. Over time, paranoia increases in intensity, scope 
  and the character’s responses grow more severe.  
  Phobia: Terror takes hold of the character, manifesting as 
  an irrational fear of an aspect of the experience that drove 
  the character mad. Whenever confronted with the object of 
  the phobia, the character’s first impulse is to flee or avoid it: 
  they must overcome the phobia’s potency with their POW 
  in a Resistance roll in order to take any other action. If the 
  character fails this Resistance roll and is forced to deal with 
  the object of the phobia, an episode of temporary insanity 
  results. Consult the ‘List of Phobias’ for an appropriate one.
  Quixotism: A character afflicted with this disorder becomes 
  obsessed with the supernatural and believes that they are 
  surrounded by unnatural creatures, no matter how irrational. 
  A quixotic character must overcome the disorder’s potency 
  with their POW in a Resistance roll to avoid hallucinations 
  and realise that their suspicions are groundless. Quixotic 
  characters may even need to make SAN checks for seeing 
  hallucinatory horrors, suffering symptoms of temporary 
  insanity for major shocks. All SAN lost to imaginary horrors 
  should be regained in a few hours.
  lIST Of PHOBIAS
  The Game Master should select a 
  phobia from the following list, 
  based in some fashion (directly 
  or otherwise) on the events that 
  caused the indefinite insanity. This 
  list is by no means exhaustive and 
  the Game Master is encouraged to 
  expand it as desired.  
  Acrophobia: Fear of heights, high 
  places or falling.
  Agoraphobia: 
  Fear 
  of 
  wide-open 
  spaces. Agoraphobia is the opposite 
  of claustrophobia.
  Ailurophobia: Fear of cats.
  Androphobia: Fear of males. This is 
  recommended for female characters 
  only.
  Anthrophobia: Fear of people. 
  Astraphobia: 
  Fear 
  of 
  thunder, 
  lightning and storms.
  Bacteriophobia: Fear of germs or 
  infection.
  Bathophobia: Fear of the depths of 
  the sea. 
  Botanophobia: Fear of plants.
  Claustrophobia: Fear of tight or 
  confined spaces.
  Demophobia: Fear of crowds.
  Entomophobia: Fear of insects.
  Gynephobia: Fear of females. This 
  is recommended for male characters 
  only.
  Hematophobia: 
  Fear 
  of 
  blood, 
  especially the sight of blood.
  Monophobia: Fear of being alone.
  Necrophobia: Fear of dead things.
  Ophiophobia: Fear of snakes.
  Pyrophobia: Fear of fire.
  Scotophobia: Fear of darkness.
  Technophobia: Fear of technology, 
  including computers. 
  Thalassophobia: Fear of the ocean, 
  the sea or open water.
  Xenophobia: Fear of foreigners, 
  strangers 
  or 
  people 
  who 
  are 
  different. 
  Zoophobia: Fear of most animals. 
  This list may also be used to 
  determine a fetish. A fetish is the 
  opposite of a phobia, being craved 
  by the character. Someone suffering 
  a fetishist disorder cannot be calm 
  or feel any sense of relief unless 
  the object of the fetish is present.
  SaniTy & inSaniTy
  
  74
  The Laundry
  Schizophrenia: Victims of schizophrenia cut themselves 
  off from reality, building a web of delusion that serves 
  as the foundation for a different reality. These delusions 
  can take the form of hallucinations or simply unrealistic 
  beliefs but are often systematic and intricate. The character 
  believes that a single unseen cause is at work in their life 
  and its actions form an unseen link that binds together 
  every significant event. Discovering and confronting this 
  mysterious cause should reveal the mysteries of life itself, 
  so the character becomes obsessed with finding that cause. 
  Delusions and hallucinations always result in meaningful 
  evidence, though ‘the truth is still out there’. Career, family 
  and self become secondary concerns and the schizophrenic 
  character is convinced that their delusions are completely 
  reasonable. The character must overcome the disorder’s 
  potency with their POW in a Resistance roll to appear or 
  behave normally. 
  Stupefaction: As with the temporary version of this 
  insanity, the character is stupefied, awake but unaware. They 
  can stand and, if led, will walk but without any volition or 
  independent thought. The character is incapable of speech 
  and does not react to any outside stimuli. Unlike most forms 
  of indefinite insanity, stupefaction becomes the character’s 
  default state. In a time of stress, the character may attempt 
  to overcome the potency of the disorder with their POW 
  in order to enjoy a temporary period of lucidity lasting no 
  more than 1d6 rounds.
  Tremors/Physical Symptoms: The character is powerless 
  in the face of fear or anxiety, experiencing extreme 
  symptoms when under stress. These symptoms range 
  from twitches, nervous tics, screaming fits, uncontrollable 
  sobbing, vomiting or seizure-like tantrums. Depending on 
  the severity of the disorder, lesser tics and spasms may 
  be constant. The character may attempt to overcome the 
  potency of the disorder with their POW as a Resistance roll 
  or will suffer penalties to all physical skills made while under 
  stress. The degree of penalty depends on the symptoms: 
  minor twitches might impose a –10%, severe ones a –30%, 
  while a seizure makes most actions Impossible. 
  Permanent Insanity
  If a character’s SAN score is reduced to zero, they are 
  considered to be permanently insane. The enormity of the 
  shocks and terror they have experienced was too much to 
  recover from. The Game Master may decide that that an 
  existing disorder utterly dominates the character’s brain or a 
  new psychosis has taken over. Permanently insane characters 
  are not functional, not curable and should be removed from 
  play. At this point, it is time for the player to create a new 
  character. The Game Master may even choose to have the 
  character become a villain – a victim of criminal psychoses 
  or the pawn of an evil cult or even possessed by a demon. 
  Regaining Lost SAN Points
  Laundry agents regularly confront terror and the unnatural, 
  so the loss of SAN points is an inevitable consequence 
  of the job. Fortunately, there are several ways to regain 
  lost SAN. Characters can use any or all of the following 
  methods:  
  A Reward for Success: At the conclusion of a successful 
  assignment, the Game Master may assign SAN rewards 
  to the surviving characters. Foiling plots to destroy the 
  world or saving loved ones from gruesome fates should 
  be worth SAN rewards. The Game Master should use the 
  guidelines in the ‘Examples of SAN Loss’ table on page 69 
  to determine the amount earned as a reward (should not be 
  greater than the total of the greatest SAN threat and should 
  be determined randomly for each character). These rewards 
  can exceed the character’s starting SAN total. 
  Increased POW: A character that increases their POW 
  characteristic raises their current SAN total by 5 points. 
  These points cannot exceed the character’s new POW x 5 
  value and any excess points are lost.  
  Mastering a Skill: Mastering a skill represents discipline, 
  confidence and self-esteem. These have a tangible effect on 
  the character’s state of mind. Whenever the character raises 
  a skill rating to 90% or higher, they immediately gain +2D6 
  SAN points, once per skill. SAN point gains from skill 
  mastery can raise the character’s SAN points above their 
  initial total of POW x 5.
  Defeating the Unnatural: When a character defeats any 
  creature or force that can cause SAN loss, they gain SAN, 
  representing relief that the creature is defeated. Defeat can 
  represent thwarting the entity’s plans, causing it to flee, 
  banishing it or killing it outright. The number of SAN 
  points rewarded should be equal to the potential SAN 
  cost for encountering it. Driving a creature away without 
  destroying it will grant half the SAN reward (round up). 
  Defeating the unnatural can raise the character’s SAN above 
  their initial total of POW x 5.
  Psychotherapy: Successful use of the Psychotherapy skill 
  can restore lost SAN, a process described on page 71 of 
  this chapter. A character seeking psychotherapy outside the 
  Laundry can find a competent therapist with a successful 
  Knowledge (Streetwise) or a Difficult Luck roll (whichever 
  is higher). An average therapist’s skill rating will be 25 + 
  5d10%. Therapy cannot increase the character’s current 
  SAN total above their POW x 5.
  Rest and Relaxation: A character can seek solace in 
  rest and relaxation, typically in a calm, soothing setting. A 
  character ‘getting away from it all’ regains one point of SAN 
  per month, though this method cannot raise the character’s 
  SAN above their initial SAN total of POW x 5. 
  Affirmation of  Humanity: The Game Master may choose 
  to award up to five SAN points for any action a character 
  takes that ‘grounds’ them in the real world and improves 
  their overall mental health. This may represent making a 
  significant commitment to another human being, such as 
  marriage or even parenthood. 
  As noted at the beginning of this chapter, your character’s 
  maximum SAN is equal to 99 – Cthulhu Mythos skill. 
  Some of the methods do not allow your character’s current 
  SAN to be increased beyond their initial SAN total, while 
  others methods can increase it to above the maximum. 
  Laundry agents are strongly encouraged to do anything and 
  everything to increase their current SAN. Though there are 
  many uses for an insane agent, unreliability is a liability.
  
  75
  9 The Laundry
   
  ChapTer nine
  The Laundry is the British Government’s occult 
  countermeasures and counterintelligence section. In 
  terms of official standing, it is somewhere between 
  DI5 and the British Transport Police (with an optional 
  upgrade to ‘running the whole show’ in the event of 
  CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN); in terms of prestige 
  and political influence, it is right up there with Waste 
  Management. A country’s reaction to the implications of 
  the Turing Theorem and applied demonology very much 
  reflects that nation’s ethos – the United States are 10 years 
  ahead of everyone else and very paranoid, the French are 
  trying to ignore the whole thing, the Soviets pigheadedly 
  ignored the whole thing because it contradicted their own 
  beliefs and the Germans tried to conquer the world with it. 
  The English? They are embarrassed by it, even though they 
  invented it. Hence, the Laundry.
  A Brief  History of  the Laundry
  Officially, the Laundry dates back to the days of the Special 
  Operations Executive, but the weirdness goes back a lot 
  further than that. Human history is inextricably intertwined 
  with the occult. We crawled out of the seas and immediately 
  started worshipping strange gods. In the secret recesses 
  of human history, there were a few sorcerers who knew 
  enough to actually work magic – Dee was pretty good when 
  he was not being hoodwinked and cuckolded by Ed Kelley; 
  Abdul Al-Hazred knew a thing or too and if you go back 
  far enough you have got people like Eibon – but fortunately 
  for the viability of Life As We Know It, none of them ever 
  summoned anything that could not be put down. 
  After the events of March 1925, there was an unofficial 
  but vigorous push by national governments across the 
  world to remove awareness of the supernatural from the 
  population. In Britain, the Mass Observation project’s true 
  purpose was to determine the success of these measures; 
  prohibition in the US did much the same thing. Phenomena 
  such as gorgonism and ghouls got moved from the medical 
  dictionary to the secret files. Cults and fringe religious 
  groups were disbanded or driven underground. 
  The secret codicils to Hague Conventions in 1907 had 
  outlawed the use of occult weapons on the battlefield 
  but research continued in secret. The Nazi’s PROJECT 
  JOTUNHEIM would have brought about an end to the 
  war (and shortly afterward, humanity). They intended to call 
  up an ice giant, an entropic entity from the nastier regions 
  of the Dark Anthropic Zone. It was the early days of 
  computational demonology, so they went for a brute-force 
  approach. Instead of a precisely calibrated summoning, they 
  murdered millions to power their spell. The concentration 
  camps were part of a continent-spanning invocation, each 
  death channelling necromantic energy into the grid. It 
  dwarfed the Manhattan project in both cost and scale.
  The SOE got wind of these plans; the Allies bombed the big 
  soul-capacitors at Peenemunde and the Nazi plan to bring 
  an elder god down on the world was spoiled; the Laundry’s 
  first and greatest success. 
  Operation PAPERCLIP got more than Von Braun – both 
  the US and the Soviets looted the Nazi occult war machine. 
  Germany became a demilitarised occult zone, as all their 
  sorcerers and summoned entities were crated up and 
  shipped home. The SOE, being a gang of reasonable and 
  well-balanced people, assassinated as many necromancers as 
  they could before the government pulled the plug on their 
  operations in Europe. 
  A conference was hastily organised in the wake of the 
  end of the war to discuss the implications of the Turing 
  Theorem and occult weaponry. All the signatories agreed 
  not to summon anything bigger than their heads, to prevent 
  supernatural entities from eating the planet, and not to use 
  civilians as power sources for necromantic incantations. 
  The Laundry spent the ten years after the war fighting for 
  its bureaucratic survival. The rest of the Special Operations 
  Executive was shut down or absorbed into Military 
  Intelligence. By rights, SOE should also have vanished into 
  the bowels of the secret service. We clung onto independent 
  existence to the baleful influence of our shadowy masters 
  but the Laundry’s budget and operational reach was pared 
  down to nothing. For ten years, the Laundry was nothing 
  but a handful of agents and almost no research staff. We 
  cleaned up the last of the Nazi necromancers (well, apart 
  from the ones who fled to South America or Antarctica) 
  and worked to control the dissemination of the Turing 
  Theorem. 
  Turing himself was poisoned by Laundry agents, as it was 
  feared he was about to be blackmailed by the Soviets over 
  his homosexuality and would give them the theorem in an 
  exchange. After the death of Turing, the Board reconsidered 
  their attitude and expanded the Laundry’s abstract research 
  division, bringing in mathematicians, computer scientists 
  and sorcerers instead of treating them as the enemy.
  After years in the wilderness, the Laundry was brought in 
  from the cold in the mid-50s. This coincided with a rise 
  in home-grown weirdness, especially around the Severn 
  valley region but also with Macmillan’s government, who 
  saw the British edge in computational demonology as a way 
  to counterbalance the Soviets and prove that the United 
  her Majesty’s 
  Occult Service
  
  76
  The Laundry
  Kingdom was still a world power. He retired in ‘62, his 
  ill health exacerbated by the horrors he had witnessed 
  firsthand. After that, there was no question of a colder war 
  using alien weapons. 
  Throughout the 60s and 70s, the Laundry expanded hugely. 
  Turing had been ahead of the curve, but now there were 
  more young occult turks catching up. The Dee-Turing 
  Theorem was independently rediscovered in various forms, 
  so the Laundry had to develop a policy for dealing with such 
  incidents (either ‘you’re drafted’ or ‘kill it with fire!’ depending 
  on the situation). Witnesses to supernatural events were 
  made to sign Section Three of the Official Secrets Act and 
  brought into the Laundry; positions were created for them 
  and these new positions required more supervisors and 
  ancillary staff, so before long the organisation had grown to 
  employ thousands of staff members.
  The confirmation that CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN was 
  inevitable dovetailed nicely with the joy of the Thatcher 
  years. The dread demons Cutbacks and Privatisation arrived 
  ahead of the other four horsemen and the Laundry was 
  forced to implement all sorts of ‘austerity measures’ and 
  prove its cost-effectiveness. Foiling the forces of darkness 
  now came with more paperwork and auditing than ever 
  before. Several sections of the Laundry were closed down; 
  others were spun off into semi-private partnerships. 
  Since the 1990s, the whole world has gotten weird. It used 
  to be that in order to summon up horrors from beyond 
  you needed to spend years scouring occult bookshops 
  and libraries for a copy of The Book of  Eibon that was 
  not hopelessly expurgated or a fake. These days, you can 
  download a copy in 30 seconds and there are YouTube video 
  walkthroughs on how to invoke Saint Toad. Everything is 
  asymmetric now, as we crash into the future. As HPL put it: 
  ‘the time would be easy to know, for then mankind would have become 
  as the Great Old Ones; free and wild and beyond good and evil, with 
  laws and morals thrown aside and all men shouting and killing and 
  revelling in joy. Then the liberated Old Ones would teach them new 
  ways to shout and kill and revel and enjoy themselves and all the earth 
  would flame with a holocaust of  ecstasy and freedom.’
  However, ‘Because there is an impending apocalypse’ is not 
  a valid reason for failing to submit your timesheet promptly, 
  broken down into 15 minute sections please.
  Structure of  the Laundry
  If you squint, the organisational diagram of the Laundry 
  looks a little like the Voorish sign and a little like a slanted 
  tree. There are sections that have not actually existed in 
  decades, lying dead yet dreaming, awaiting the day when 
  they are called forth again. Others stumble on like zombies, 
  having long since lost all purpose but animated by the dread 
  powers of budgetary appropriations. There are sections 
  of the Laundry dedicated to witch-hunter licensing and 
  preventing occult meddling in the telegraph network. 
  We would start at the top of the organisational structure but 
  in the Laundry that is problematic. The Board is in charge 
  of it all, reporting directly to the Prime Minister. Allegedly. 
  No-one below the level of DSS has seen the Board in a 
  long, long time. The last minuted Board meeting took place 
  in ‘71; after that, records just stop. 
  There are still offices for the Board; we call it Mahogany 
  Row, all wood panelling and green leather desks and 
  Edwardian décor and portraits of the Queen. They are 
  maintained in immaculate condition, equipped with high-
  speed broadband and cutting-edge telecommunications and 
  are more or less empty. There is nothing there, except the 
  feeling that you are being watched. 
  Below Board level, the Laundry is divided into Administration 
  and Operations divisions. Thanks to the modern miracle of 
  matrix management, employees may be in either or both 
  divisions depending on their current assignment. Broadly, 
  Operations deals with field work, active surveillance and 
  research, while Administration handles everything else, 
  from payroll and records to internal security and auditing.
  MATrIX MANAGEMENT
  The idea behind this concept is 
  that an employee may report to 
  several managers at once, depending 
  on his current assignments. Bob’s 
  day-to-day job may be doing tech 
  support for Human Resources, which 
  means he reports to Manager A in 
  most situations. However, he is an 
  engineer and therefore subject to 
  the dictates of Manager B, who is 
  in charge of all engineers. Any 
  decisions related to Bob must be 
  agreed upon by both managers.
  Fortunately 
  for 
  Bob, 
  he 
  also 
  works part-time for Manager C, in 
  Counterpossession. Manager C is 
  much scarier than A or B. 
  Other Departments
  There are other Laundry departments 
  that 
  do 
  not 
  appear 
  on 
  the 
  organisational chart or on the 
  list. Some, like the old Accounts 
  (as in settling) department have 
  been scrapped. Others are secret, 
  known only to those with the right 
  codeword clearance. Still others 
  have been forgotten about but still 
  exist (and will submit their report 
  any century now) or vanished due to 
  some bizarre temporal loop (like 
  Forecasting Operations).  
  
  77
  9 The Laundry
   
  Cabinet 
  Joint 
  Intelligence 
  Committee 
  Board of Directors 
  Auditing 
  Human 
  Resources 
  Internal 
  Logistics 
  Legal 
  Affairs 
  Auditors 
  Financial 
  Control 
  Quality 
  Assurance 
  Health & 
  Safety 
  Housing 
  Inhuman 
  Resources 
  Medical 
  & Psych 
  Payroll 
  Personnel 
  Residual 
  Resources 
  Training 
  Armoury 
  Catering 
  Enchant & 
  Production 
  Facilities 
  I.T. 
  Purchasing 
  Maintenance & Janitorial 
  Switchboar
  d 
  Transpor
  t 
  Contracts & 
  Bindings 
  Legal 
  Affairs 
  Black 
  Assizes 
  Internal 
  Security 
  Counter 
  Subversion 
  Media 
  Relations 
  Operational 
  Oversight 
  Security 
  Management 
  Interdepartmental 
  Liaison Group 
  Records 
  Acquisitions 
  Archives 
  D.R.M. 
  Monitoring 
  Translation & 
  Analysis 
  Ways & Means 
  Field Support 
  Baggers 
  Cleaners 
  Plumbers 
  Toshers 
  OCCULUS 
  Arcana 
  Analysis 
  C.P.U.  
  Diplomatic 
  Office (U) 
  Special Projects 
  Research & 
  Development 
  Comp. 
  Demon.  
  Math. 
  Modelling 
  Occult 
  Forensics 
  Predictive 
  Branch 
  Q 
  Division 
  Internal 
  Affairs 
  Organisational Structure 
  d
  t
  
  78
  The Laundry
  Department Information
  Each section of Capital Laundry Service’s labyrinth has 
  some or all of the following information:
  Description: A brief description of what services that 
  section provides.
  Assignment: If a character works in this section, then this 
  is his starting job and the skills that come with it. Add 10 to 
  each of the listed skills. 
  Support: If a character can request support from this 
  section, as per the Requisition rules in Chapter 11: Budgets, 
  Requisitions and Training, then the difficulty of the 
  request and the support offered is listed in this paragraph.
  Administration Division
  Administration’s budget and manpower dwarfs that of 
  Operations. For every two-fisted field agent with a shotgun 
  in one hand and a rune of banishing in the other, there 
  are a dozen clerks, accountants, inspectors, analysts and 
  middle managers. The Laundry is the world’s first ISO9001-
  certified occult espionage agency and management is keen 
  to maintain that level of quality assurance. Everything 
  must be recorded, filed, double-checked, inspected, 
  catalogued, documented and then discussed endlessly in 
  committee (Today’s agenda: ironing out inefficiencies in the 
  documentation process, part 492). Cynics might argue that 
  the purpose of Administration is to give pointless busywork 
  to an army of civil servants who have Seen Things Man Is 
  Not Meant To Know Unless He Has Signed Section Three, 
  but the Laundry does have a very good reason for tracking 
  the most pernickety and obscure things (missing paperclips 
  can be a security breach in a world where sympathetic 
  scrying is a threat; using extremely specific and fiddly 
  document formatting is a great way to catch out a concealed 
  possessor entity and excessive bathroom breaks could be a 
  sign of incipient BLUE HADES transformation).
  Department of  Auditing
  It is the job of the Department of Auditing to make your 
  life hell. Their agents circle above lesser departments like 
  vultures, waiting for a moment of weakness. Then they 
  swoop down and strike without mercy, ignoring the cries 
  of panic, pain and ‘what do you mean, we’ve got to account 
  for every single tube ticket we’ve bought since 1977?’ If 
  you are lucky, then Auditing has merely unleashed some 
  external agency like CESG or the NHS Audit Commission 
  on you, to make sure you have got a license for every copy 
  of Windows 7 Occult Edition (‘now slightly less likely to 
  contain cosmic evil!’) or check that the asbestos levels are 
  still within acceptable operating parameters. If you are 
  unlucky, the Auditors check up on you... personally.
  The Auditors
  Things that you get used to after a few years of working 
  for the Laundry: Strange smells, zombie cleaning staff, 
  unsociable hours, paperwork, tentacles, the impending and 
  inevitable end of the world as we know it. 
  Things you never get used to: relentlessly foul ‘coffee’, the 
  sense of dread in certain offices and the Auditors.
  The Auditors are high-level mages specialising in truth 
  compulsions. When they ask, you answer, no matter what 
  the question. They have no shame and no hesitation – if 
  they suspect you of having failed or mislead your superiors, 
  then the Auditors will get to the bottom of it. Privacy is 
  just one of the things you signed away when you joined the 
  Laundry. If the size of your male member or the skeletons 
  in your family closet is relevant in the cold black pitiless eyes 
  of the Auditors, then they will ask the questions you do not 
  want to hear.
  Audits can happen at any time (either the Auditors do not 
  sleep or they just take perverse joy in dragging people out 
  of bed at five in the morning to answer questions about 
  misfiled receipts), but rarely without due cause. A good, 
  diligent and quiet employee might get through his whole 
  tour of duty without a single personal Audit – but let’s face 
  it, you are not one of those.
  Assignment: Auditor’s Secretary. Bureaucracy, Etiquette, 
  Knowledge (Law), Sorcery, Status.
  Financial Control
  Financial Control’s responsibility is to keep the Laundry’s 
  budget under control, in much the same way that the big 
  sweaty guys with the drum and the whips keep the rowers 
  under control on a slave galley. Each department has its 
  own annual budget, which is broken down to individual line 
  items at the start of the financial year. Any budget overruns 
  – unforeseen purchases, unexpected projects, Plumbing – 
  must be paid for by the relevant department, unless they 
  have the prior agreement of Financial Control. (Translation: 
  if Yog-Sothoth descends to eat our brains, we had really 
  
  79
  9 The Laundry
  better have submitted a budget in advance or else we will 
  have to pay for the suicide nukes out of our own pockets.) 
  Assignment: Accountant. Appraise, Bureaucracy, 
  Knowledge (Accounting), Knowledge (Business), 
  Knowledge (Law).
  Quality Assurance
  As mentioned regularly, the Laundry prides itself on Quality 
  Assurance (ISO9001 Certified is a lot more comprehensible 
  to Whitehall than Iä! Shub-Niggurath Nebbu Zin! Begone, 
  in the name of  Dee!). Quality Assurance squats like some 
  bureaucratic shoggoth in the heart of Service House, sending 
  tentacles and squamous minions out. As a foulness shall ye 
  know them – a foulness that regularly reviews individual 
  processes and the quality system itself for effectiveness and 
  facilitates continual improvement… much like a shoggoth 
  grows extra organs as needed. Every department must fully 
  document and record all procedures, even the most arcane 
  and eldritch. (This has been known to cause problems – 
  oddly, certain alien entities who are magically bound to 
  serve the Laundry are unwilling to submit to certification.)
  Assignment: Quality Assurance Compliance Officer. 
  Bureaucracy, Knowledge (Business), Knowledge (Politics), 
  Status, Teach.
  Department of  Human Resources
  The Department of Human Resources is the mortal 
  enemy of Ops Division. The opening shots in this bloody 
  bureaucratic war were fired many years ago and good 
  men have died in the trenches, drowned in ink or lost to 
  the forms. Human Resources controls every aspect of life 
  in the Laundry, which makes them singularly unpopular 
  among most employees who do not enjoy every aspect of 
  life in the Laundry. Do not complain too loudly, though – 
  they might hear you and they are subtle and quick to anger.
  Health & Safety
  In addition to standard Health & Safety restrictions and 
  requirements, the Laundry obviously has a whole range of 
  occult precautions that must be observed. H&S Audits check 
  to make sure that your chair is adjusted correctly (correctly, 
  that is, for some alien species of invertebrate), your number 
  of smoking breaks, your number of shivering-in-a-closet-
  and-wittering-about-cosmic-horror breaks and that you are 
  observing the correct procedures for summoning Things 
  From Beyond. They even have documentation for field 
  operations (‘employees may not chant for more than 55 minutes at a 
  time without a five minute tea break’).
  Health & Safety’s regulations are well-meaning but hopelessly 
  inadequate. They just finished the proposed advisory 
  document on the handling of basilisks, when everyone has 
  already moved onto stoner guns and SCORPION STARE.
  Assignment: Health & Safety Assessment Officer. 
  Bureaucracy, First Aid, Knowledge (Law), Science (Biology), 
  Teach.
  Housing
  Due to security concerns, Laundry employees may only 
  live in housing vetted by Internal Security and the Housing 
  Section. You never know when work is going to follow you 
  home, after all. The list of requirements is extensive – panic 
  buttons, deadlocks on all external doors, regular sweeps for 
  listening devices and thaumic presences, up-to-date wiring, 
  no negative psychic influences and no suspicious looking 
  IC6 neighbours.
  Living in London is nigh-impossible on a low-level civil 
  service salary, so most Laundry employees live in housing 
  owned by the department. The Laundry has property all 
  over London (you can get great deals just after you drag 
  the tentacled carcass of something icky out of a flat – 
  motivated seller does not even begin to cover it). The 
  Housing section has a list of cleared flatmates, who have 
  a range of interesting hobbies and odious personal habits.
  Assignment: Secure Housing Manager. Knowledge 
  (Architecture), Knowledge (Law), Knowledge (Occult), 
  Repair (Electrical), Sorcery.
  Inhuman Resources 
  Not all of the Laundry employees are human. While we are 
  not the Black Chamber, they of the sapient demon servitors 
  and the dream-mapped agents, there are a few fishy types 
  up at Dunwich who are not quite homo sapiens. The Inhuman 
  Resources section works with the other departments to take 
  care of their special requirements. These requirements can 
  be… unusual, but Catering are used to requests for 500 
  pounds of raw meat or spinal fluid drained from virgin 
  lambs. 
  Assignment: 
  Aquatic 
  Affairs 
  Liaison: 
  Etiquette, 
  Knowledge (Law), Knowledge (Linguistics), Knowledge 
  (Occult), Swim.
  Assignment: Shoggoth Keeper: Athletics (Running), 
  Heavy Weapons (Flamethrower), Knowledge (Occult), 
  Science (Biology), Sorcery. 
  Assignment: 
  Subterranean 
  Operations 
  Liaison: 
  Bargain, Knowledge (Architecture), Knowledge (History), 
  Knowledge (Occult), Stealth.
  her MajeSTy’S OCCuLT ServiCe
  flATMATES frOM HEll
  The Laundry has a very limited 
  number of secure houses, so it 
  is standard practise for several 
  employees to share a house. Seeing 
  as the Player Characters are often 
  working closely together, it makes 
  sense (in the twisted, inhuman 
  intellects of Human Resources) for 
  them to be assigned to the same 
  living quarters…
   
  ChapTer nine
  
  80
  The Laundry
  Medical & Psychological
  Med & Psych is like a fossil from some strange aeon; their 
  bedside manner has not changed since they were founded 
  in 1941. Employees are given biannual checkups to ensure 
  that your blood pressure is not too high and that you are not 
  possessed by some brain-eating horror. For some reason, 
  they insist that you strip naked for the last test and breathe 
  deeply while they probe you with ice-cold stethoscopes and 
  poke you with pins left over from Matthew Hopkins. 
  To be fair, the Laundry’s medical facilities are excellent. 
  You cannot get so much as an aspirin without filling out 
  16 forms and submitting a budget projection but when it 
  comes to dealing with extreme trauma, gunshots or unusual 
  conditions like decompression, exposure to exotic radiation, 
  bubonic plague or Twomey’s Disease, there is no better 
  place (available on the NHS, anyway). 
  The Psychology department is equally well equipped. Any 
  employee on field duty or who works with extra dimensional 
  entities, computational demonology or similar weird 
  phenomena is given regular psychological screening (due to 
  cutbacks, this screening may be ‘once a year, maybe, if the 
  omens are good’ or ‘when your line manager thinks you need 
  it’ or, more often ‘when someone overhears you muttering 
  hastur hastur hastur hastur over and over). Most Laundry 
  employees are quite a few standard deviations outside the 
  psychological norm to begin with, anyway, so the number 
  of genuine breakdowns is comparatively small considering 
  what field agents go through and most managers are good 
  at spotting employees who need a break, even if it is just a 
  night at the Squid and Crown and a day of leave.
  For those who require longer-term care and who cannot 
  be placed in a conventional psychiatric hospital, there is St. 
  Hilda’s (see page 90). 
  Assignment: Doctor. First Aid, Medicine (any two), 
  Research, Science (Biology). 
  Assignment: Psychiatrist. First Aid, Insight, Knowledge 
  (Occult), Psychotherapy, Research.
  Payroll
  An island of normality in a sea of weird, until you sneak 
  a look at their big, leather-bound ledgers that look like 
  leftovers from the days of the East India Company and 
  have entries that... well, she’s fictional (at least, you thought 
  so), he’s been dead since 1934 and that’s not a name in any 
  tongue pronounceable by humans. Payroll is less than au 
  fait with newfangled electronic banking and money transfer, 
  so you get paid by cheque every month and if you are lucky it 
  is not written in pounds, shillings and pence (Payroll resisted 
  decimalisation in the same way they have stoutly resisted 
  Quality Assurance – by having the other departments by the 
  financial short and curlies).
  Payroll Clerk: Appraise, Bargain, Bureaucracy, Knowledge 
  (Accounting), Knowledge (Any).
  Personnel
  The Personnel office does all the usual things one might 
  expect – paperwork, tracking holiday and sick leave, resolving 
  disputes, sorting temps and other staffing problems – but 
  also has the responsibility of finding places for people 
  newly recruited to the Laundry. Sometimes, itis easy: a 
  computer scientist who nearly landscaped Wolverhampton 
  by summoning Nyarlathotep gets turfed into IT, a squaddie 
  who saw too much gets assigned to Field Operations and the 
  Laundry can always use more overzealous middle managers. 
  For other new recruits, the choice is not so obvious, making 
  Personnel into the bureaucratic equivalent of the kid 
  making a jigsaw by hammering pieces into place. You were 
  an investment banker before you were possessed? Hmm. 
  Would you like to work in our catering department? Or how 
  about cleaning out the shoggoth tanks?
  Assignment: New Employee Assignment Desk. 
  Bureaucracy, Fast Talk, Insight, Knowledge (Any), Teach.
  Residual Human Resources
  The Laundry, they say, is a job for life plus 10 years. That is 
  roughly how long it takes for a suitably preserved corpse to 
  rot to the point of uselessness. 
  A lot of bodies turn up in the Laundry’s line of work. 
  Terrorists who had to be put down by OCCULUS 
  teams, unfortunate bystanders who got soul-sucked or 
  exsanguinated or just bludgeoned to death by monsters and 
  a regrettable number of Laundry employees who are killed 
  in the line of duty. Not all of these bodies can be released 
  for reasons of operational security and the Laundry is much 
  too short-staffed and under-funded to just store the corpses.
  Hence, Residual Human Resources. Employees should note 
  that the use of the term ‘zombies’ to refer to metabolically 
  challenged staff is depreciated and should not be continued. 
  RHRs are human corpses with a class two demon riding 
  shotgun on their decaying central nervous system. RHRs 
  are used as night watchmen, janitors, library workers in the 
  stacks and for other work that is laborious, high-clearance or 
  both (Following employee complaints, RHRs will no longer 
  be used as cafeteria staff). At the end of their tenure, the 
  corpses are exorcised and given a suitable burial, although 
  some zombies have been shambling around the Laundry 
  since the dawn of time. 
  The RHR office is responsible for treating the corpses, for 
  animating them and for general handling and maintenance. 
  Theyare all a bit strange down in RHR – you can forgive 
  the black robes and the oaken staves of command but 
  the maniacal laughing is a bit over the top, as is calling 
  themselves the ‘necromancer lords’. 
  Assignment: Zombie Wrangler. Command, Grapple, 
  Knowledge (Occult), Sense, Sorcery. 
  
  81
  9 The Laundry
  Training
  The Training section (more correctly, the Training, In-
  Service Education and Certification Office) co-ordinates 
  employee training courses within the Laundry. Maintaining 
  and improving employee skills is part of the Laundry’s drive 
  towards Total Quality, so all those training budgets have to 
  be used for something. This may mean janitorial staff are 
  sent off for a weekend course in wing chun or surveillance 
  or biohazard handling but is more likely to involve a lot of 
  Powerpoint slides in hot airless rooms as some RHR drones 
  on about Windows NT server management or proper 
  accountancy procedures.
  Training office works with Inhuman Resources and Facilities 
  to manage the Dunwich complex, the Lough Ness training 
  grounds and the Invisible College’s lecture series (see page 
  110).
  Assignment: Training Co-Ordinator. Bureaucracy, 
  Etiquette, Knowledge (Any), Status, Teach. 
  Department of  Internal Logistics
  The Internal Logistics department is the spine of the 
  Laundry (hunched, twisted and prone to osteoporosis). It is 
  second only to Human Resources in size but come a distant 
  fourth or fifth in influence. 
  Armoury
  The Laundry’s armoury is not so much extensive as eclectic, 
  like an exhibition of unlikely ways to kill people. You have 
  got standard firearms, like pistols and shotguns, as well 
  as more impressive kit – if you have got a particularly 
  stubborn shoggoth, then why not try the Javelin Medium-
  Range Anti-Tank Guided Weapon? Make your way past the 
  nuke suits (Integrated Biological Defence Systems) and the 
  rack of sniper rifles and shotguns and you get to a range 
  of quasi-medieval weapons made using modern technology, 
  like swords with a tungsten carbide edge or carbon-fibre 
  crossbows (some entities are irritatingly bulletproof). Then 
  there are the unconventional weapons, like HOGs, Basilisk 
  Guns, Shrivellers or Inverse Weapon Salves Delivery Pods 
  and occult upgrades for conventional weapons such as 
  banishment rounds and Tillinghast sights. And after all that, 
  you reach the really impressive stuff, but that is beyond your 
  clearance level.
  You cannot just stroll into the Armoury and check out 
  whatever you want – only those cleared to carry weapons 
  may request a firearm and even then the restrictions on its 
  use are considerable. The management frowns on casual or 
  unsafe use of firearms.
  The Armoury is also the place to go for non-lethal gadgets, 
  like fresh wards or panic buttons. 
  Assignment: Armoury Clerk. Firearms (any two), Heavy 
  Weapons (Any), Knowledge (Law), Repair (Weapons).
  Support: Varies. Requisition occult items or weapons.
  Catering
  The unsung heroes of the war against cosmic horrors, the 
  Laundry’s catering corps provide nigh-endless cups of tea 
  and nigh-inedible sandwiches to the staff. Catering is also 
  responsible for the dietary needs of various ‘biological 
  assets’ and specialist staff. The long-running dispute about 
  who is responsible for procuring souls has finally been 
  resolved in Catering’s favour (you cannot stick a fork in a 
  soul, so it is not their problem). 
  Assignment: Canteen. Craft (Cookery), First Aid, Listen, 
  Sense, Spot.
  lAUNDrY PAY GrADES 
  AND TITlES
  ‘You’ve been fast-tracked for senior management 
  for the past eight years. You knew that, didn’t 
  you? But you’re only graded as an SSO 3. That’s 
  a bit low to be anything senior, so I did some 
  digging. You’re not being held back; it’s just that 
  the Laundry operates a Y-shaped promotion path 
  — administration and line ranks diverge above a 
  very low level. You’re due for regrading later this 
  year, Bob. If you pass the board, they’ll make you 
  an SSO 4(L). Doesn’t sound like much, but it’s 
  the first step on the line hierarchy and it’ll entitle 
  you to boss Army majors around. Or police 
  superintendents. I’m an SSO 6(A) but you’d be 
  able to tell me what to do.’
  — The Fuller Memorandum
  The 
  Laundry’s 
  internal 
  grading 
  system runs from 1 (new recruits) 
  to at least 12 (very senior staff). 
  Each step on the promotion ladder 
  brings with it an increase in pay 
  and pension, as well as added 
  responsibilities. 
  In 
  addition, 
  employees 
  are 
  assigned 
  to 
  Administration or Line roles above 
  grade 4; only Line officers may be 
  promoted to various key positions 
  in Management. 
  Each grade has a variety of titles, 
  depending on which department you 
  work for. Job titles are typically 
  non-descriptive – in a meeting, you 
  might have a Senior Administrative 
  Officer, an Executive Administrative 
  Officer, a Supervising Technician, 
  a 
  Technical 
  Supervisor, 
  an 
  Administrative Assistant or two 
  and a Senior Assistant Technical 
  Officer. (If you are not sure who 
  is in charge, wait and see who gets 
  served tea first when the trolley 
  comes around.)
  her MajeSTy’S OCCuLT ServiCe
   
  ChapTer nine
  
  82
  The Laundry
  Enchantment and Production
  E&P maintains a little arcane production line, mass-
  producing items that were originally developed by Q 
  Division but which are now standard issue. Wards, 
  warrant cards, summoning grids, banishment rounds and 
  so on, anything that is needed ‘occult and in bulk’. The 
  E&P workshops are located in Liverpool in an unmarked 
  warehouse complex. For unknown reasons, all but one of 
  the doors into this complex are only three feet high and the 
  place is soundproofed. 
  Assignment: Field Testing Coordinator. Appraise, 
  Computer Use (Magic), Craft (Any), Knowledge (Occult), 
  Repair (Any).
  Facilities
  Facilities – recently titled, as it used to be, Works and 
  Buildings – is in charge of the Laundry’s physical structures, 
  offices and buildings. They are not responsible for day-
  to-day maintenance (that is Maintenance) or individual 
  secure dwellings (that is Housing), but they are the ones 
  who allocate office space and build new facilities (or, more 
  accurately, put contracts out to tender to the handful of 
  companies rated to build with blood mixed into the mortar 
  and who have a geomancer on staff). The Laundry has a 
  long list of requirements for new sites, but the right level of 
  thaum is vitally important. You want enough weird bleeding 
  through to make certain magics viable, but you also do not 
  want a bad ley line or unresolved psychic tangle screwing 
  up sensitive equipment. A lot of Laundry facilities are built 
  on top of old monasteries, churches or graveyards to take 
  advantage of ambient energies.
  Assignment: 
  Wiring 
  and 
  Warding 
  Technician. 
  Computer Use (Magic), Craft (Building), Knowledge 
  (Occult), Repair (any two). 
  Information Technology
  Adventurer! You have entered the deepest level of the 
  dungeon of Laundry Bureaucracy, ruled by the dread 
  necromancer Human Resources. You are in a dank 10’ 
  by 10’ cubicle. On the floor, you see many discarded Jolt 
  cola bottles and a tangled mess of cables. The chamber is 
  illuminated by many blinking lights. Somewhere, you smell 
  the pallid denizens of this realm. They chitter to each other 
  in a strange dialect, redolent of mystic words and lolcats. 
  What do you do?
  >Examine computer
  You do not understand how to work this thing. Nonetheless, 
  you fiddle with the settings and break it. 
  >Call for help
  The IT goblins eat you. 
  Information Technology is vital to the Laundry’s operations. 
  There is an unbroken line from Alan Turing and Colossus 
  down to Linux and the many beige boxes that the Laundry 
  uses to summon up spirits from the vasty deep of the 
  Mandlebrot set. You would think, therefore, that IT would 
  be well-funded and influential, given that it is absolutely 
  fundamental to the organisation. 
  Instead, IT gets a dungeon and a pile of office-ready PCs. 
  Most of the civil service still standardises on Internet 
  Explorer 6, for Cthulhu’s sake. (The Laundry has a special 
  exemption for this, as a security breach here can have worse 
  consequences than some Russian mobsters snarfing your 
  credit card.)
  Assignment: Helpdesk. Computer Use (any three), 
  Knowledge (Occult), Technology Use (Any).
  Purchasing
  The keepers of the coffers, Purchasing’s job is to say no to 
  as many requests as possible. Can we buy a new summoning 
  grid to contain – no. How about 20 million pounds to study 
  suspected reality breaches in – no. A new biro? Maybe – fill 
  out these forms and wait until the start of  the next financial year. A 
  word of warning – do not try a geas or any other mind-
  warping spells on Purchasing staff. Not only is it a serious 
  breach of ethics, they are also warded to fry the brains of 
  anyone who tries to tamper with budgetary decisions using 
  magic.
  Assignment: Financial Analyst. Appraise, Bureaucracy, 
  Persuade, Research, Status.
  Maintenance and Janitorial
  This section is responsible for maintaining and cleaning 
  all Laundry facilities. It employs more than a third of the 
  Laundry’s Residual Human Resource assets. In the Laundry, 
  
  83
  9 The Laundry
  even cleaning requires special precautions – leaving aside 
  the strange goo and alien ichor, you also have to consider 
  the risk of high thaum fields and their effects on rubbish. 
  If you dispose of, say, a pair of latex gloves without 
  properly degaussing them, then you have got EVIL HAND 
  STRANGLES LOCAL MAN headlines the next day. 
  Switchboard
  The Laundry’s switchboard office is one of those things it’s 
  best not to ask too many questions about. They’re inhumanly 
  efficient, for one thing. Ask them nicely, and they will transfer 
  your call to the phone nearest to the Laundry employee you 
  are calling, even if he is on vacation in the Costa del Sol and 
  the closest phone is the mobile of some other sun-lizard. 
  Switchboard is also hooked into ECHELON and monitors 
  phone calls across the UK for codewords and key phrases. 
  All that and they take messages too.
  Just do not hold the phone up to your ear for too long. 
  If you do, just beyond the hiss of static and the susurrus 
  of your own blood, you will make out someone screaming, 
  very very far away.
  Transport
  Most of the time, agents are obliged to use public transport 
  or their own vehicles but the Laundry does have a small 
  specialised motor pool, including warded Bentleys for 
  important dignitaries, cars equipped with invisibility spells 
  for surveillance work and a few other curiosities, like 
  the four occult recon Concordes that were operated by 
  666 Squadron or the tube train that is kept stored in the 
  Kennington Loop. 
  Assignment: 
  Courier. 
  Drive 
  (Auto), 
  Knowledge 
  (Streetwise), Navigate, Repair (vehicle), Sorcery.
  Support:
  Average: Transportation to anywhere in the United Kingdom.
  Average: Requisition a vehicle for use in London.
  Difficult: International plane tickets at short notice.
  Difficult: Requisition a magically augmented vehicle.
  Department of  Legal Affairs
  The Laundry is not a bunch of occult cowboys who can sling 
  spells around with impunity; they are not James Bond with a 
  wizard hat, either. They are civil servants. The first question 
  in any situation is not ‘how do we stop this rampaging Elder 
  God’, but ‘will our actions leave the government liable to a 
  lawsuit in any conceivable way, shape or form?’ 
  Black Assizes
  The Black Assizes date back to the reign of King James 
  I, who had a bit of a bee in his bonnie bonnet about 
  sorcerers and witches. Back then, sorcery was something of 
  an aristocratic hobby and so James decreed that sorcerers 
  should get to face a jury of their peers just like everyone 
  else. The Black Assizes is the only court in the land qualified 
  to convict a sorcerer (technically, most Laundry employees 
  could demand that they be sent before the Black Assizes 
  rather than the ordinary justice system but do you really 
  want to stand in front of a court who really can condemn 
  you to hell?). The Assizes are still in use today and try 
  criminal cases that involve genuine sorcery. The judge and 
  jury are all magically warded just in case someone tries to 
  put a whammy on the wheels of justice.
  Convicted prisoners are either magically compelled and sent 
  to a mundane prison or incarcerated in the Laundry’s own 
  secure facility in Falkirk.
  Assignment: Bailiff  of  the Black Assizes. Grapple, 
  Knowledge (History), Knowledge (Law), Knowledge 
  (Occult), Sorcery.
  Contracts and Bindings
  Contracts and Bindings handle the occult side of legal 
  operations. They are the ones who draft treaties with alien 
  powers or come up with watertight geas for binding Level 
  Four entities to service. If you want to sell your soul, they 
  have forms for that. 
  Assignment: Apprentice Demonologist. Knowledge 
  (Law), Knowledge (Occult), Persuade, Research, Sorcery.
  Legal Affairs 
  Legal Affairs spends most of its time telling other 
  departments to please stop doing things that are technically 
  illegal, advising them on what to do now they have done 
  something illegal and getting Laundry staff out of legal 
  binds. The Warrant Card covers a multitude of sins. 
  Assignment: Legal Researcher. Knowledge (History), 
  Knowledge (Law), Knowledge (Occult), Research, Status.
  Internal Affairs
  The mundane counterpart to Contracts and Bindings, 
  Internal Affairs deals with the Laundry’s internal legal 
  matters such as employee contracts, grievances, disciplinary 
  hearings and internal investigations.
  Assignment: Internal Affairs Investigator. Bureaucracy, 
  Insight, Knowledge (Law), Persuade, Status.
  Department of  Internal Security
  Internal Security is one of the departmental footballs that 
  gets kicked back and forth between Administration and 
  Ops divisions every few years. Both sides want the power 
  but neither wants the headaches. Internal Security carries 
  on regardless, ignoring the political storms that crash above.
  Counter-subversion
  In the shadow world of counter-subversion, the Cold War 
  never ended… and they are right. Counter-subversion’s 
  her MajeSTy’S OCCuLT ServiCe
   
  ChapTer nine
  
  84
  The Laundry
  role is to ensure that there are no leaks or double agents 
  working within the Laundry and the biggest threat to 
  counter-subversion is still out there. The Black Chamber 
  is still going strong. Counter-subversion keeps tabs on 
  Laundry personnel and drags them before the Auditors for 
  interrogation when, in their obsessive focus on enemies 
  overseas, counter-subversion has missed a few other internal 
  problems in recent years. Just ask Bob Howard about his 
  recent line managers. 
  Assignment: 
  Counter-Subversion 
  Office. 
  Insight, 
  Knowledge (Espionage), Knowledge (Politics), Research, 
  Technology Use (Surveillance).
  Media Relations
  Media 
  Relations 
  handles 
  cover-ups 
  and 
  official 
  disinformation. They have got the editor of every major 
  newspaper on speed-dial, so they can squash any (‘alien 
  monster eats pensioner’) unwanted (‘Satan lives in my fractal 
  screensaver!’) stories (‘Government pays immigrant workers from 
  under the sea millions!’) by issuing a D-Notice (Defence 
  Advisory – a polite request not to publish information 
  deemed to be detrimental to state security). These days, 
  of course, they are more likely to be found trawling RSS 
  feeds and posting denials to forums. It is a sad decline for 
  an office where having expensive lunches with the editors 
  of the Times was once a weekly treat.
  Media Relations sits oddly with the other sections in 
  Internal Security – it was bundled in here eight years ago, as 
  part of the reorganisation that created the ILG. Committee 
  meetings are still rather fraught.
  Assignment: Researcher. Computer Use (Hacking), Fast 
  Talk, Knowledge (Occult), Knowledge (Politics), Research.
  Support:  
  Easy: Get access to newspaper records or journalists.
  Average: Issue a D-Notice to a local newspaper or 
  broadcaster.
  Difficult: Issue a D-Notice to a national newspaper or 
  broadcaster.
  Operational Oversight
  Operational Oversight ensures that any field operations are 
  carried out properly. If you, say, fail to secure a weapon 
  or loose track of a suspected cultist, then you can expect 
  to have a lengthy chat with an Operational Oversight 
  committee in the near future. Operational Oversight is 
  currently the bludgeon of choice for Administration to use 
  when beating Operations over the head.
  Assignment: 
  Operational 
  Oversight 
  Invigilator. 
  Bureaucracy, Insight, Knowledge (Law), Persuade, Sorcery.
  Security Management
  Security Management’s role is to secure Laundry facilities 
  and personnel. They are the ones who certify locations as 
  being acceptably lethal to intruders, who do background 
  checks on new recruits and contacts and who generally see 
  the outside world as the enemy. Professional paranoids, the 
  lot of them.
  Assignment: Security System Installation Technician. 
  Craft (Building), First Aid, Repair (Any), Science 
  (Thaumaturgy), Technology Use (Surveillance)
  Assignment: 
  Background 
  Check 
  Researcher. 
  Bureaucracy, Disguise, Listen, Research, Stealth.
  Interdepartmental Liaison Group
  The Interdepartmental Liaison Group (or ILG) is a small 
  department-level group within the Laundry, created in 
  early 2002 to consolidate the organisation’s links with other 
  security and law enforcement bodies. The ILG is also 
  supposed to lay the foundations for dealing with CASE 
  NIGHTMARE GREEN. 
  Army and Air Force Office: Co-ordinates with the Royal 
  Air Force and the British Army through the Defence 
  Intelligence Staff.
  Cabinet Office Liaison: Co-ordinates with the Cabinet.
  Diplomatic Office (Conventional): Co-ordinates with 
  foreign governments and other agencies.   
  Foreign Office Liaison: Co-ordinates with the Foreign 
  Office (responsible for overseas affairs and international 
  diplomacy).
  Intelligence Liaison Office: Co-ordinates with the Joint 
  Intelligence Committee, GCHQ, MI5 and MI6.
  Home Office Liaison: Co-ordinates with the Home Office 
  (responsible for immigration control and security within the 
  United Kingdom).
  Naval Office: Co-ordinates with the Royal Navy.
  Police Liaison Office: Co-ordinates with the police 
  services, primarily the Metropolitan Police via the Specialist 
  Operations Directorate.
  Assignment: Liaison Officer. Bureaucracy, Etiquette, 
  Knowledge (Politics), Persuade, Status. 
  Department of  Records
  The Department of Records is a musty maze of files staffed 
  by equally-musty clerks. Asking for one of their beloved 
  files is like asking for their first-born; woe betide you if you 
  get coffee stains on anything.
   
  Acquisitions
  You know that warehouse from Raiders of  the Lost Ark? It is 
  like that. Acquisitions department is responsible for storing 
  physical artefacts that do not fit neatly into an envelope (like 
  the skull of a dragon or the weird non-Euclidian structures 
  we found in Madagascar or that weird ticking clock thing). 
  It used to share space with the British Museum, but it got 
  moved to a warehouse in Hounslow years ago. 
  Assignment: Acquisitions Curator. Knowledge (History), 
  Knowledge (Occult), Language (Any), Repair (Any), Science 
  (Thaumaturgy).
  
  85
  9 The Laundry
  Archives
  Better known as the Stacks, the Archives section is located 
  in a disused tube station deep underground. There is 50 
  kilometres of shelf space down here in the gloom, packed 
  with documents and microfiche and CDs and the occasional 
  misfiled grimoire. The Stacks are staffed mainly by zombies; 
  if you want a file, it is better to ask one of the staff members 
  to retrieve it from their arcane filing system rather than go 
  looking for it yourself. 
  You can request any document from the stacks that you 
  have codeword clearance to read. 
  Assignment: Archives Clerk. Bureaucracy, Knowledge 
  (any two), Navigate, Research, Stealth.
  Document Restriction Magic
  All Laundry documents have DRM to ensure that only the 
  right people can read them. The Document Restriction 
  Magic office is responsible for sticking the right wards on 
  the files. The intensity of warding varies depending on 
  how important the file is. A low-ranking ward might just 
  make the document unreadable to anyone without the 
  right clearances, while more powerful protections range 
  from ‘alerts the Watchers’ to ‘my, don’t your eyeballs look 
  yummy’.
  Assignment: Ward Security Reviewer. Appraise, Fine 
  Manipulation, Knowledge (Any), Research, Sorcery.
  Monitoring
  Monitoring section’s drones are eternally overworked. Their 
  job is to monitor all occult activity in the United Kingdom, 
  which means ‘scouring every newspaper, publication 
  and, these days, website and blog for possible signs of 
  weirdness’. They use data trawling demons and have access 
  to the ECHELON database and have all sorts of tricks 
  to distinguish silly buggers from your genuine monster 
  sighting but it is still a monumental task. Where possible, 
  they outsource part of the never-ending workload to other 
  departments, which is why Bob spends half his day peering 
  at dodgy websites.
  It is a far cry from the halcyon days of the ‘30s, when 
  Monitoring was part of the old Mass Observation project 
  and you really could come in each morning, read the 
  newspapers, have a cup of tea and go home again.
  Assignment: Researcher. Bureaucracy, Knowledge (Any 
  two), Listen, Research.
  Translation and Analysis
  Most of the old (pre-Turing) occultists were grade-A 
  nutcases and their writings are one part genuinely useful 
  information to six parts paranoid ranting, five parts wild 
  hallucination, four parts sniping at other occultists and 
  at least eight parts rampant speculation and outright lies. 
  To add irritation to insult, they tended to write in obscure 
  or wholly invented languages. Oh, and they had terrible 
  handwriting.
  Still, the Laundry needs that one part of genuinely useful 
  information, so T&A section gets to track down obscure 
  occult tomes, scan them in, translate them and then work 
  out what the hell the writer was on about. Most of the big 
  ones (the Necronomicon, Culte des Ghoules, the Book of  Eibon, the 
  Voynich Manuscript and so on) were done years ago, but there 
  are still some books out there that the Laundry would kill 
  to get its paws on. 
  Assignment: Translator. Appraise, Fine Manipulation, 
  Knowledge (History), Knowledge (Occult), Language 
  (Any), Sorcery. 
  her MajeSTy’S OCCuLT ServiCe
   
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  Operations Division
  Never mind the panoply of state and secrecy, the cold-
  war trappings of village and security cordon – what it’s 
  about, when you get down to it, is this: our appalling 
  vulnerability, collectively, before the onslaught of 
  beings we can barely comprehend. A lesser one, not 
  even one of the Great Old Ones, would be enough to 
  devastate a city; we play under the shadow of forces 
  so sinister that a momentary relaxation of vigilance 
  would see all that is human blotted out.
  I can go back to London, and they will let me go back to 
  my desk and my stuffy cubicle and my job fixing broken 
  office machines. No recriminations, just a job for life 
  and a pension in thirty-five years time in return for a 
  promise of silence to the grave. Or I can go back to the 
  office in the village and sign the piece of paper that says 
  they can do whatever they like with me. Unthanked, 
  possibly fatal service, anywhere in the world: called on 
  to do things which may well be repugnant, and which 
  I will never be able to talk about. Maybe no pension 
  at all, just an unmarked grave in some isolated defile 
  on a central Asian plateau, or a sock-shod foot washed 
  up, unaccompanied, on a Pacific beach one morning 
  while the crabs dine heavy. Nobody ever volunteered 
  for field ops because of the pay and conditions. On the 
  other hand…
  I look at the starfish-thing and see eyes, human eyes, 
  with worms moving inside them, and I realise there is 
  no choice. Really, there never was a choice. 
  — The Atrocity Archives
  Operations Division is the other half (well, more like 
  three-eighths, tops) of the Laundry. They are the ones 
  who actually leave the safe confines of the office and smite 
  things that need to be smitted. Operations works on more 
  of a case-by-case basis than other divisions – one week, you 
  are tagging ghouls in Manchester and next week they are 
  flying you to some post-soviet Obscuristan you have never 
  heard of to cast death spells on interesting people. Still, it 
  beats rotting in a cubicle.
  Department of  Ways and Means
  This department is officially in charge of allocating the 
  black budget to other Ops projects. The Laundry as a whole 
  is funded out of the Single Intelligence Account, which also 
  pays for the Security Service (MI5), the Secret Service (MI6) 
  and a lot of other spooks, all of which get their grubby 
  paws on the money first. Ways and Means has to make do 
  with what it gets.
  Rumours claim that Ways and Means is also the new home 
  of the Laundry’s ultra deniable black bag jobs (now that 
  Accounts is gone) but who listens to rumours anyway?  
  Department of  Field Support
  Field Support teams are specialised units, drawn from the 
  Laundry’s active agents and friendly resources, like the 
  Territorial SAS or the Met’s SO15. Support teams are never 
  more than a phone-call away – any of these teams can be on 
  site anywhere in London in 30 minutes and anywhere in the 
  mainland UK within four hours. 
  Of course, that comes at a cost. Field Support teams are 
  damnable expensive even before you wake them at four 
  in the morning, load them into a Puma HC1 and fly them 
  to some godforsaken place. Field Support calls come out 
  of the budget of whichever department requested the 
  support. No-one is saying that you should sacrifice your 
  own life instead of calling in the occult cavalry but think 
  twice before calling.
  ‘Baggers’
  Baggers are occult support and control units, specialising 
  in securing dangerous substances or creatures. As the name 
  suggests, you call them in when there is something that 
  needs to be put into a black bag and hauled away for analysis 
  or controlled invocation. Baggers can also be called in to do 
  occult field forensics.
  Assignment: Bagger. Fine Manipulation, Science (Any), 
  Science (Thaumaturgy), Sorcery, Track.
  Support: 
  Easy: Occult forensic examination of a crime scene.
  Average: Banishment of an entity that is already secure.
  Difficult: Banishment or containment of a hazardous 
  creature that is still on the loose.
  ‘Cleaners’
  Call the Cleaners when your cover is in jeopardy and you 
  need support. The usual use of Cleaners is to remove 
  unwanted bodies and bloodstains, but they can also make 
  living people vanish, erase official records and even wipe 
  memories if needed. 
  Assignment: Cleaner. Disguise, Fast Talk, Sense, Sorcery, 
  Spot.
  Support: 
  Average: Erase evidence at a contained location.
  Difficult: Erase evidence and deal with witnesses at a public 
  location.
  ‘Plumbers’
  Plumbers are the Laundry’s field sorcery unit, specialising 
  in exorcism, memory suppression, counter-possession 
  and banishings. They are called to deal with outbreaks of 
  possession or when witnesses need to be convinced they 
  saw nothing unusual.
  Plumber is also used as a generic term for any Field Support 
  unit.
  
  87
  9 The Laundry
  Assignment: Plumber. Firearms (Any), Knowledge 
  (Occult), Science (Thaumaturgy), Sorcery, Stealth.
  Support:
  Easy: Prevent Laundry personnel from talking about an 
  incident by placing them under geas.
  Easy: Banish a level one or two entity.
  Average: Alter memories of a single individual
  Average: Banish a level three entity.
  Difficult: Alter memories of multiple individuals
  Difficult: Banish a level four entity.
  ‘Toshers’
  Tosher teams are specially trained in going where no man 
  wanted to go before. They come equipped with scuba gear, 
  HAZMAT suits and vacuum-proofed guns. Toshers have 
  gone down deep shafts in Scotland that were carved by 
  inhuman hands; they have explored flooded temples under 
  London and caverns under Glastonbury. There are bodies 
  buried in unmarked graves six kilometres from the South 
  Pole, in the Hindu Kush and on the moons of Saturn. Gate 
  travel is part of their expertise. 
  Assignment: Tosher. Climb, Firearms (Any), Science 
  (Any), Spot, Technical Use (Survival gear)
  OCCULUS
  (Occult Control Coordination Unit Liaison, Unconventional 
  Situations)
  OCCULUS units are the NATO emergency response 
  teams to occult situations. They are brought in when things 
  are liable to go very bad, very quickly. An OCCULUS 
  deployment consists of a control vehicle, a bunch of 
  seriously scary troops and sorcerers and the authority to do 
  whatever is necessary to prevent Armageddon. 
  Assignment: OCCULUS Support Officer. Command, 
  Firearms (Any), Listen, Spot, Strategy.
  Department of  Arcana Analysis
  The Department of Arcana has survived largely unaltered 
  since the first days of the Laundry. The only thing that 
  changed is the name; it has gone from being Station XIII 
  of SOE to Unconventional Warfare to the Department of 
  Arcana Analysis, but there is still the same picture of King 
  George VI on the wall and the same eerie feeling in the 
  corridor, as if you are being watched by invisible forces – 
  and, of course, Angleton is always the same. 
  Counterpossession
  The Counterpossession Unit is the occult counterpart of 
  Counter-Subversion, ensuring that no Laundry personnel 
  are being used as puppets by alien powers or are secret 
  Cthulhu worshippers or have gone mad with power and are 
  plotting to summon Azathoth in the middle of Westminster 
  Abbey (again). Modern-day safety procedures and wards 
  makes possession a lot less common than it used to be1, 
  giving Counterpossession a) a nice fat black budget and b) 
  carte blanche to poke its nose into any Laundry affairs. 
  Assignment: Counter-Possession Exorcist. Bureaucracy, 
  Insight, Knowledge (Occult), Sorcery, Stealth.
  Diplomatic Office (Unconventional)
  ‘It is quite in keeping with the character of the Laundry 
  to be aware of the most peculiar anomalies in our 
  diplomatic past — the walking ghosts of conflicts past, 
  as it were — and be ready to reactivate them at a 
  moment’s notice. That which never sleeps lives on until 
  awakened, and it’s not just us citizens of old-fashioned 
  Einsteinian spacetime who make treaties, right?’
  — The Atrocity Archives
  The Laundry has treaties with foreign powers, treaties that 
  can and will be invoked in time of need. The Benthic Treaty 
  (see page 210) is the best known of these but there were 
  older bargains than the Agreement of the Azores. Since 
  the time of Dee, the Crown has given its assent to secret 
  contracts. Pray we will never be called upon to fulfil our side 
  of the bargains. 
  Assignment: Cultural Attaché. Etiquette, Knowledge 
  (History), Knowledge (Occult), Knowledge (Politics), 
  Persuade.
  Special Projects
  Special Projects, also known as the Laundry Basket, is a 
  catch-all section for various projects that do not fit neatly 
  into the current organisational chart or who no-one wants to 
  touch without the safety precaution of an intervening layer 
  of non-accountability. It has the reputation of being the 
  weirdest part of the Laundry, which is an accomplishment. 
  Department of  Research and 
  Development
  One of the ways to get recruited into the Laundry is to 
  nearly do something that is simultaneously very smart and 
  very stupid. The very smart bit is to independently discover 
  some aspect of the Turing Theorem or some other bit of 
  arcana, like the Logic of Thoth or the Rune of Al-Sabbah; 
  the very stupid bit is to use it. If you are lucky, a group of 
  angry young civil servants show up and escort you away 
  before you accidentally summon Azathoth. If you are 
  unlucky, they show up five minutes too late.
  Anyway, the Department of Research is the one place 
  where you are allowed to play with tentacles and higher 
  mathematics. Projects range from pure research (‘what 
  is the nature of  reality, and why does it have teeth’) to practical 
  1 Although CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN promises a 
  brain-eating demon for everyone in the audience.
  her MajeSTy’S OCCuLT ServiCe
   
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  The Laundry
  applications like death spells and Ever-Full Teapots. 
  Research boffins tend to enjoy their work a little too much. 
  The Laundry has watchers in most of the top-end academic 
  institutions in the country, although these days you are 
  as likely to find some pimply-faced youth accidentally 
  summoning up Nyarlathotep in a polytechnic as in the 
  hallowed halls of academia. Sometimes, a particularly 
  promising student is recruited directly long before they 
  tread into the realms of the arcane but most are pulled out 
  just before (or just after) they call up the wrong Thing. After 
  all, it is a lot easier to convince someone that magic is real 
  and they should dedicate their lives to battling the Great 
  Old Ones if they have seen the consequences first-hand.
  Research is also supposed to support field operations by 
  analysing collected data, predicting potential threats and 
  developing new methods of dealing with occult dangers. In 
  practise, most field agents prefer researchers to stay behind 
  cover and not move until it is all over. 
  Computational Demonology
  Computational Demonology (or CompDem) specialises in 
  developing and expanding magical theory, which amounts 
  to sticking your head into the depths of the dark anthropic 
  zone (that hoary region of the multiverse where the Old 
  Ones dwell) and shouting ‘hello! Anybody home?’ The 
  really abstruse stuff is more the domain of Mathematical 
  Modelling – CompDem produces actually useful spells and 
  summonings. 
  They can also be called in to reverse-engineer spells, disarm 
  live containment grids or work strategic wonders.
  Assignment: Computational Demonology Researcher. 
  Computer Use (Any), Computer Use (Magic), Science 
  (Mathematics), Science (tThaumaturgy), Sorcery.
  Mathematical Modelling
  The Mathematical Modelling section is staffed by a bunch 
  of very smart boffins who use maths to explore strange 
  new universes. They start with ‘let x=Yog-Sothoth’ and go 
  from there. Their calculations are carried out in shielded 
  conditions or the shadows they throw on the platonic realm 
  of pure mathematics might grow tentacles and ooze back 
  into our little cave. Whatever Mathematical Modelling is up 
  to is a mystery to most employees – they could be mapping 
  the Dark Anthropic Zone or searching for parallel Earths 
  that have already passed through CASE NIGHTMARE 
  GREEN.
  Assignment: Mathematical Modelling. Computer Use 
  (Any), Computer Use (Magic), Knowledge (Ooccult), 
  Science (Any), Science (Mathematics).
  Occult Forensics 
  Occult Forensics section delves into the mysteries of 
  thaumic fields and sympathetic traces, not to mention 
  comparing dental patterns of shoggothim. They can find 
  out who the murderer was by raising up the corpse and 
  triggering the last few memories laid down in the brain 
  or work out which spell was cast by analysing the ruined 
  containment grid and the burn patterns on the hard drive. 
  They are our magical CSI department. 
  Assignment: Occult Forensics Analyst. Science (Any 
  three), Sense, Spot.
  Predictive Branch
  Also known as the Weather Service, Predictive Branch uses 
  a variety of divination methods to foresee the future. They 
  have got banks of crystal balls hooked up to webcams, a 
  pool of remote viewers staring at fractal screensavers, 
  random synchronicity searches on the web, stochastic 
  mapping of tarot cards to what is trending on Twitter and 
  let us not forget psychic Mabel, who gets a funny feeling in 
  her left knee whenever one of the Old Ones tries to break 
  into our reality. 
  Predictive Branch is one of the oldest Laundry sections 
  and spent its early years trying to determine German tank 
  movements in Western Europe through the entrails of 
  seagulls. Its predictions are notoriouly vague, except when 
  they are absurdly specific. Predictive Branch has a total miss 
  rate of about 30%, when their advice is wholly wrong (hello, 
  OvErSEAS OPErATIONS
  Deploying an officer overseas is 
  done only when it is absolutely 
  necessary, as it involves more 
  paperwork than the human mind can 
  comfortably comprehend. Financial 
  Control looks askance at anything 
  that might be considered a junket 
  or a waste of time and money. The 
  Laundry can send an investigative 
  team overseas at short notice 
  but usually only to destinations 
  serviced 
  by 
  budget 
  airlines 
  operating out of Stansted Airport 
  or Luton. 
  Still, officers may find themselves 
  sent abroad to liaise with one of 
  the EU partner agencies or to spy 
  on some cult or sinister force that 
  threatens British interests or to 
  dig up an ancient temple in the 
  Falklands. The Laundry also has 
  officers permanently stationed at 
  bureaus overseas, where they keep 
  an eye on local occult activity 
  and liaise with head office. Due 
  to cutbacks, many of these local 
  bureaus are little more than one 
  man in an old school tie and a 
  grotty little office that claims to 
  be an Import/Export company/the 
  British cultural attaché/passport 
  control/the Esoteric Order of Dagon 
  mission. 
  
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  9 The Laundry
  45 minute WMDs), but that is balanced by the roughly 30% 
  of the time they get it somewhat right and the 20% that 
  their advice is absolutely vital. 
  Assignment: Stochastic Analyst. Knowledge (Any), 
  Research, Science (Any), Science (Mathematics). You may 
  also permanently increase your Luck by 10%.
  Q Division
  Q Division is where the Laundry gets those wonderful 
  toys. The boffins and mad scientists down there have been 
  making weapons since 1941 – they started with containment 
  grids disguised as handkerchiefs and fire-and-forget demon 
  summoning, but they have graduated to basilisk guns, Ibn-
  Ghazi aerosols and are working on pin-point polarised 
  gateways to higher-energy zones and auto necromantic 
  talismans for field agents. 
  Assignment: Mad Boffin. Computer Use (Magic), Craft 
  (Any), Firearms (Esoteric), Repair (Any), Science (Any).
  Support: Varies. Requisition occult items or esoteric 
  weapons.
  Laundry Facilities
  Or, where do you toil away in the service of Her Majesty’s 
  Government?
  As the red-headed stepchild of the intelligence community, 
  the Laundry is encouraged to Make Do. The government 
  spends the money when it has to – a few million for 
  containment grids here, a few million for strategic gating 
  there – but a spirit of wartime austerity prevails in general. 
  The Laundry does not yet have a shiny architectural 
  monstrosity 
  like 
  MI6’s 
  Babylon-on-Thames. 
  Most 
  employees are stationed in offices that have crawled out 
  of the 1970s to die in obscure locations. The walls are a 
  non-Euclidian shade of beige or green, mercifully hidden 
  by stacked ringbinders and bookshelves. 
  Greater London
  The Laundry’s primary offices are in London, close to the 
  seat of power. They used to be in Service House, a squat 
  Georgian monolith just down the road from the Foreign 
  Office. Service House is now mostly a hole in the ground2, 
  as it is being rebuilt just in time3 for CASE NIGHTMARE 
  GREEN. Certain parts of the building had to be retained 
  – there are spells woven into the very stones that cannot 
  be broken. Other sections were magically transferred to the 
  New Annexe, the current home of the organisation. The 
  New Annexe is an anonymous 1960s office block in South 
  2 Not as big as the hole in the public finances, which has 
  put the whole operation in jeopardy.
  3 It is only 15 months behind schedule at this point. No 
  doubt the soul-devouring horrors from beyond the stars 
  will wait politely. Queensbury rules apocalypse.
  London, with all the charm of a dead fish but it is home for 
  the foreseeable future. 
  The New Annexe is the domain of Management and much 
  of Administration; most of the technical and operations 
  staff are scattered around various secure locations outside 
  heavily populated areas (translation: if some berk accidentally 
  summons Yog-Sothoth, it is better he do it in Basildon than 
  in the city centre). The largest of these is the Station III 
  complex located under Mornington Crescent tube station 
  but there is also the Occult Forensics out in Croydon, the 
  old Arcana labs in Greenwich, the Acquisitions warehouse 
  in Hounslow and the warding lines built into the Thames 
  Barrier.
  Other, smaller offices are scattered through the city. Some 
  are government property, inhabited by one department or 
  another over the decades. Others were purchased cheaply 
  by the Laundry following an exorcism or other occult event. 
  The Unconventional Diplomacy office, for example, is still 
  crammed into a basement in Electra House, while parts of 
  Purchasing are housed in a refurbished clothes factory in 
  Camden. (The old attic room in Soho where the Laundry 
  first started is still in the organisation’s possession. Officially, 
  THE SqUID AND CrOWN
  The Squid and Crown is Ye Olde 
  British Pubbe that was just down 
  the road from the Laundry’s first 
  headquarters 
  in 
  Soho. 
  It 
  got 
  adopted as the Laundry’s semi-
  official watering hole in the ‘50s 
  and was bought by the government 
  in the ‘60s as it was cheaper than 
  vetting all the bar staff to make 
  sure that they were not Communist 
  spies or cultists or Black Chamber 
  drone zombies. 
  The pub got a full warding suite 
  of enchantments along with the 
  change in ownership, and you need 
  a warrant card to even get past the 
  door. The inside has not changed 
  much, though – it is still all 
  frayed cushions with the padding 
  falling out, a stale smell of smoke 
  that lingers despite the ban, real 
  ales and a jukebox in the corner 
  that reads your mind. There used 
  to be a Space Invaders console too 
  but that was removed as a potential 
  security risk. 
  Oddly, the pub is convenient to the 
  Laundry’s current headquarters in 
  the New Annexe, even though that 
  is nowhere near Soho. Stiff drinks 
  after traumatic encounters with 
  the unnameable are a speciality. 
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  The Laundry
  it is slated to become a museum when the Laundry goes 
  public; some claim that it is haunted by the spectres of 
  Claude Dansey and the other founders.)
  Quite a lot of the Laundry’s London facilities are located 
  underground. The archives, for example, are stored in a 
  disused stretch of tunnel under Service House that started 
  out as a tube station, spent the Second World War and 
  the early Cold War as a civil service bomb shelter and got 
  turned into the Stacks in 1953. There are hundreds of miles 
  of tunnels under London and the Laundry’s tentacles snake 
  through many of them. 
  Lower-grade staff members usually get assigned to 
  underground offices. Just ignore the smells and the 
  occasional scratching noise from the far side of the 
  plasterboard. It is probably just rats in the walls. Big ones.
  Manchester
  The Laundry’s ‘Invisible College’ is located in Manchester. 
  Tom Kilburn, a former SOE necromancer and one of the 
  fathers of modern computing, was the head of the facility 
  from its foundation in 1947 to 1962. The Invisible College 
  is a training school and research centre for computational 
  demonology. Most of its facilities are on the campus of the 
  University of Manchester.
  Dunwich
  Dunwich, in Norfolk, is a small village on the coast that 
  does not exist. The Ministry of Defence used it as a training 
  ground during the war; the Laundry inherited it after that 
  and it is still in use for training today. Most field exercises 
  and combat training take place here. It is nice and private – 
  the fields and woods around Dunwich are heavily warded, 
  repelling any intruders or avid ramblers from approaching 
  the village by land. As for by sea, well, let us just say that the 
  waters around Dunwich are treacherous and that the rocks 
  have been known to move. And to bite.
  Most Laundry personnel spend a few weekends each year at 
  training courses in Dunwich. The Monkfish Motel is rarely 
  empty. For more, see Going Down To Dunwich on page 241.
  Porton Down
  Most of the Defence Science and Technology Laboratory 
  at Porton Down is concerned with wholly mundane ways 
  to kill people horribly. They invented VX nerve gas there, a 
  lovely substance that is right up there with nuclear weapons 
  in terms of potential megadeaths. Several of the Laundry’s 
  more questionable research facilities are located in Porton 
  Down, including the Shoggoth Research Lab and the 
  Pestilence Division. 
  St. Hilda’s
  Rejoicing in the full name of St Hilda of  Grantham’s Home 
  For Disgruntled Waifs And Strays, this is the Laundry’s private 
  asylum for the temporarily or permanently insane and 
  possessed. Most employees refer to it as the Funny Farm. 
  To ensure that the incarcerated possessor-entities and insane 
  sorcerers are properly cared for, the building is loaded 
  down with protective wards and is kept thaumaturgically 
  grounded. Most of the staff members are robots, controlled 
  by a demon-powered AI in the basement. 
  Kirkcudbright Training Area (Scotland)
  The Laundry shares the Kirkcudbright Training Area with 
  the British Army. This stretch of Scottish woodland and 
  coastline is used primarily for live-fire exercises and joint 
  training programs but also for occult weapons testing and 
  the occasional open-air summoning. There is also a second 
  testing area attached to the Kirkcudbright establishment at 
  Lough Ness, for underwater operations well away from Our 
  Friends in the Deep (BLUE HADES).
  Trawsfynydd (Wales)
  Trawsfynydd is a small village in the middle of nowhere, 
  aka Wales. The Laundry has two facilities in this region. 
  On the surface, there is what most people believe was 
  the Trawsfynydd nuclear power station but was actually 
  the Laundry’s VLCG (Very Large Containment Grid) 
  and associated research labs. The VLCG has been 
  decommissioned in favour of the joint European occult 
  grid at CERN, but Trawsfynydd One is still used for lesser 
  summonings, exorcisms and gating.
  Trawsfynydd Two is the Laundry’s Deep Storage – a dozen 
  miles of old coal mine, worming its way into the bedrock. 
  The Deep Storage facility holds artefacts and entities that 
  are too dangerous to keep elsewhere. Exactly what is in 
  Deep Storage is highly classified. 
  THE lAUNDrY ON 
  THE THrESHOlD
  The 
  Laundry 
  has 
  offices 
  and 
  safehouses everywhere – and if you 
  are in the United Kingdom, then that 
  includes your home town. Pick some 
  ghastly office block or seemingly 
  mundane industrial unit and declare 
  that it is actually the Laundry’s 
  Department of Arcane Recycling or 
  the Sumerian Diplomacy Section or 
  a halfway house for reformed ex-
  cultists. Then send your PCs there.
  
  91
  10 TooLS
  In addition to spells, the Laundry also utilises a host of 
  various high tech and enchanted devices. Theoretically, any 
  spell can be transformed into an enchanted device. The only 
  limitations are that the device performs exactly one function 
  and that the POW and level of the spell being duplicated is 
  fixed. So, a device that duplicated the effect of the Entropic 
  Manipulation spell could render the user invisible or distort 
  sound around the user to foil eavesdroppers but it could not 
  do both. With a few notable exceptions, all of the occult 
  items listed here are specifically created by the Laundry’s 
  Q Division. These items are pieces of well made precision 
  equipment that are both highly effective and exceedingly 
  reliable. A few of the simpler items can be created by 
  skilled computational sorcerers but doing so is always time 
  consuming and often also quite risky. If you want something 
  quick and easy to use and that will not blow up in your face, 
  requisitioning an item from Q Division is a far better choice 
  than casting a similar spell.
  Advanced Technology
  As well as all the top-secret occult goodies, Q Division can 
  also supply agents with the latest technologies and by this 
  we do not mean the latest consumer technologies, we mean 
  the sort of cutting edge gear that ordinary gadget freaks 
  dream about. Most of these devices were designed for use 
  by MI6 and other conventional intelligence organisations 
  but when needed, Laundry agents can also gain access to 
  them. 
  If you read about a new technology that will be released 
  in a few years, like colour electronic ink screens or higher 
  density batteries on a gadget website, you can be certain 
  that Q Division already has been outfitting Laundry agents 
  with these things for at least the last year or two. As a 
  result, any gear that the Laundry outfits you with may have 
  better batteries, more memory and all manner of similar 
  advantages. However, it is also important to remember 
  that the non-magical gear is simply slightly more advanced 
  technology – other than a few ancient pre-human artefacts 
  that are carefully locked away, you are not going to be 
  seeing any transporter beams, AI netbooks or laser pistols 
  (Laundry budget restrictions being what they are, you are 
  more likely to be assigned a 10 year old desktop running 
  Windows ME than a state-of-the-art machine unless you 
  can justify your request to the budget office). 
  Acquiring Gear
  However (and this is a pretty big however), Q Division is 
  not going to outfit you with the sort of smartphone that 
  other geeks will be using five years from now just because 
  you are overcome with a serious case of gadget lust. The 
  outfitters may be sympathetic to your desires, but the point 
  of secret organisations is that they prefer to remain secret 
  Advertising their presence by handing every agent who 
  wants a hyper-advanced smartphone or a netbook better 
  than a current high-end desktop is hardly the best way to 
  accomplish this. 
  You will be freely given gear that your superiors think you 
  need for your current mission – as long as you are qualified 
  to use this gear. However, at the end of this mission, you 
  are expected to return this gear in working order or to file 
  a report about what happened to it. If a zombie ate the 
  microdrone you were issued, then all is well, but if you 
  simply want to keep it, then some unfriendly people are 
  going to want to talk quite sternly to you. 
  You are free to request any gear you want and if you have a 
  good reason for it, you will likely get it. Asking for a high end 
  protective ward and some sort of weapon if enemy agents 
  are attempting to kill you only makes sense. However, if you 
  do not have a good reason to need a piece of equipment, 
  you are not going to get it. Also, sometimes you will be 
  issued with some rather strange gear. The Predictive Branch 
  runs prophecy simulations on all important missions and 
  sometimes oddities turn up. The Predictive Branch is 
  occasionally wrong, but if you get issued a pair of bright 
  orange golf shoes with powerful magnets in the soles and 
  are told to wear them when you try to infiltrate a nasty 
  cult, then you had better plan on wearing those shoes, at 
  least if you want to survive. The Predictive Branch is right 
  considerably more often than they are wrong and agents 
  who ignore their suggestions are more likely to come back 
  wearing toe tags. 
  Requisitioning Gear
  If a Laundry agent wishes to gain access to gear that they have 
  not been issued, they must make an official request. Requests 
  for standard gear can be made by visiting the departmental 
  armourer or by filling out the appropriate paperwork and 
  submitting it. Most operatives choose the former, since it is 
  faster and easier, as long as the department armourer is not 
  annoyed at them because the last three devices they were 
  issued were sucked through a dimensional rift. Requests for 
  rare or exotic gear must be made directly to Q Division. Q 
  Division is open 24 hours a day, but frivolous requests made 
  at 2am will be considered rather more harshly than those 
  made during standard business hours. 
  If the request is approved, the agent will be issued the 
  item as soon as it is ready. Common, ready-made items like 
  defensive wards, warding tape or hands of glory can be 
   
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  picked up immediately after the request is approved. More 
  specialised items or items that must be specially enchanted 
  are available within 24 hours, but highly specialised requests 
  may take as long as three or four days to process. If the 
  request is denied, then the agent may not request the same 
  item again during the same mission or until circumstances 
  have otherwise sufficiently changed to warrant a new 
  request. If an operative lacks certification for a particular 
  device, then the request will be automatically denied. 
  However, operatives are also free to make requests for 
  device certifications, if they are cleared to know of the 
  existence of the device.
  See Chapter 11: Budgets, Requisitions and Training for 
  rules on requisitioning gear.
  Occult Items
  The following items are all created specifically for the 
  Laundry by Q Division. There are two types; items that can 
  easily be used without any training and items that require 
  special training to use. Items that do not require training 
  to use are listed as General and have a simple and obvious 
  function and most function constantly. Wards and warding 
  tape are two examples of such items. However, many items 
  require training to use. Some are highly dangerous and are 
  only issued to agents who need them and have proven 
  themselves to be responsible and able to handle themselves 
  well in violent situations. Such items all require that the 
  operative possess the required certification before the item 
  is issued to them. 
  Banishment Round 
  Availability: Easy
  Certification Required
  Many demons are largely immune to bullets, either because 
  their inhuman bodies heal rapidly or because they are 
  possessing entities that can easily jump from one body to 
  another and can inhabit the dead as easily as the living. As a 
  result, killing these demons is exceptionally difficult. The best 
  way to deal with such creatures is to banish them. However, 
  getting a demon to step on a banishing grid is usually far 
  from easy. Fortunately, there is a far more direct modern 
  alternative – banishment rounds. These hollow-point 
  bullets are coated in silver that is engraved with a demicyclic 
  banishment circuit written in 90 nanometre Enochian. 
  These rounds are most commonly made in 9 millimetre but 
  can be made for other weapons if circumstances demand. 
  Being hit by one of these rounds works as a normal level 
  three banishing (see p145). In emergencies, banishment 
  rounds can even be used to banish demons that temporarily 
  possess someone but doing so requires the operative to 
  actually shoot the possessed individual. 
  Rules: If the shooter is specifically attempting not to harm 
  the target badly, halve the damage, because the target has 
  been shot in a non-critical location. Attempting this feat 
  automatically subtracts 10% from the user’s to hit roll.
  Basilisk Gun
  Availability: Average
  Certification Required
  This lethal device is based on the rare biological phenomena 
  of gorgonism. Gorgonism occurs when humans, or 
  occasionally other animals like chickens or lizards have a 
  brain tumour that induces the basilisk effect in their gaze. 
  The gaze of creatures affected with gorgonism utilises trans-
  dimensional energy flows to transform approximately 1% of 
  the carbon atoms in a target made of organic materials into 
  silicon. This transformation releases a significant quantity of 
  energy, instantly killing all living targets and destroying most 
  devices made of organic materials. In addition, this process 
  releases a sufficient amount of various forms of radiation 
  to provide everyone within 4 metres with approximately 
  50–150 rem of radiation – producing symptoms of mild 
  radiation poisoning. 
  This burst of radiation causes everyone within two metres 
  of the target to suffer one point of burn damage and to 
  roll their CON vs. radiation of POT 15 or be bed-ridden 
  for the next 2d10 days. Characters within four metres of 
  the target must only roll their CON vs. radiation of POT 
  10 or be bed-ridden for the next 2d10 hours. In both cases, 
  symptoms are weakness, tremors and fever. 
  Since the neural circuits involved in gorgonism were 
  successfully mapped out in the 1980s, it has become possible 
  to duplicate gorgonism electronically. In addition, the 
  sorcerous technicians at Q Division fine-tuned the effect so 
  that only 0.1% of the target’s carbon atoms turn to silicon. 
  The result is just as lethal and destructive but no longer 
  releases sufficient amounts of beta particles and x-rays to 
  produce radiation poisoning. As a result, operatives using 
  basilisk weapons can safely use them at short range. 
  To create a basilisk weapon all that is needed is a special 
  program and a pair of linked digital cameras that are aimed 
  at the same target. The most portable version of the basilisk 
  gun consists of a PDA or smartphone with one built-in 
  camera and a second camera attached using an extension 
  port or a Bluetooth connection. Other options include 
  paired security cameras in a high security installation, a 
  pair of webcams on a desktop or laptop computer or even 
  British security cameras, which are all designed to be used 
  as basilisk weapons. This weaponised camera network is 
  known as SCORPION STARE and for this reason, Basilisk 
  weapons are often referred to as SCORPION STARE 
  weapons. In any case, all devices utilising this effect must 
  contain two working cameras that are electronically linked. 
  Regardless of the size and nature of the device, when this 
  device is running the SCORPION STARE software and it is 
  activated, any organic material containing long-chain carbon 
  molecules that it is aimed at will spontaneously transform 
  0.1% of its carbon atoms into silicon. Basilisk guns affect 
  everything from human beings to plastic or gasoline. This 
  process results in a substantial release of energy, instantly 
  killing any living target as the heat released by the highly 
  
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  energetic atomic transformation instantly cooks and chars 
  the target. 
  When subjected to this attack, tyres burn and all volatile 
  organic chemicals explode, plastic burns and humans are 
  instantly transformed into twisted and charred husks as 
  flames erupt from their eyes, ears and mouths and their limbs 
  are reduced to charred stumps. Operatives and civilians who 
  have not previously seen basilisk weapons used on a human 
  must make SAN rolls or lose 1d6 SAN. Success on the roll 
  reduces this SAN loss to zero. 
  Basilisk guns are instantly and almost invariably lethal, 
  inflicting 6d6 damage on living targets. The only way to 
  survive their use is to either get out of the camera’s line of 
  sight via a Dodge roll or by moving behind an obstacle. Any 
  opaque barrier provides complete protection, as does thick 
  fog. Dimming the lights sufficiently so that the cameras 
  cannot perceive their target also prevents the successful 
  use of basilisk weapons. Unfortunately, accomplishing 
  this typically requires near total darkness. Mirrors can also 
  reflect all SCORPION STARE attacks. Basilisk weapons 
  are destroyed if their attack is reflected back at them. All 
  plastic parts and insulated wires melt or burn. In addition, 
  anyone holding the weapon is killed.
  Basilisk guns can also be targeted using reflections in 
  mirrors. Even if the two cameras cannot see the target, if 
  these cameras can see the target’s reflection, then the target 
  can be successfully attacked. Basilisk guns use the Firearms 
  (Esoteric) skill, but most attacks with a look-to-kill weapon 
  are Easy.  
  Concealed Weapon
  Availability: Difficult
  Certification Required
  This enchantment is primarily used to make guns invisible. 
  Using a variant of the same observer effect used in Hands 
  of Glory, this enchantment renders the gun invisible and 
  inaudible to anyone who does not carry a Laundry warrant 
  card, unless that person is using a scrying spell of level 
  three or higher. This magical effect temporarily fails if the 
  weapon is fired, because doing so draws too much attention 
  to the gun. However, the effect only fails for one round, at 
  the beginning of the next round, the gun again becomes 
  invisible. A weapon using this enchantment allows the user 
  to openly carry it, wave it around, clean it, reload it and cock 
  it, yet no one without a warrant card notices it at all, although 
  they may notice the user making odd hand motions. This 
  same effect prevents observers without warrant cards from 
  noticing the distinctive bulge of the gun if it is worn in a 
  shoulder or hip holster. 
  While often unnecessary if Laundry agents travel to the 
  United States or much of the third world, in the UK or 
  most of the rest of the EU, carrying a firearm is a serious 
  offence and can provoke an extreme police response. This 
  enchantment is commonly used on all firearms issued to 
  Laundry personnel stationed in the UK or the EU and 
  can be used on all handguns, as well as on any other items 
  of similar size, from hand grenades, to PDAs or knives. 
  However, this enchantment cannot be used to conceal rifles 
  or other large and bulky items. 
  Enhanced Smart Car 
  Availability: Difficult
  Certification Required
  Although this vehicle appears to be exceptionally 
  unassuming, it is fitted with a mixture of occult and 
  technological 
  countermeasures 
  and 
  enhancements. 
  Squeezed into this two and a half metre long two-seater 
  car, there is a wealth of equipment. It is fitted with a special 
  purpose video playing rig designed to project a level four 
  area ward (see Area Wards, p145) inside the car, protecting 
  the occupants from both possession and magic as long as 
  the engine is running. In addition, the cigarette lighter is 
  loaded with graveyard dust mixed with oil of Bergamot and 
  tongue of newt, which functions as a level three banishing 
  spell (see Banishing, p145). The car is also fitted with a 
  sophisticated automatic guidance system, which allows the 
  user to signal the car with their mobile phone, at which point 
  the car drives itself to their current location. In addition, the 
  user can use their phone to set off either of the car’s occult 
  countermeasures. 
  The car is also watertight and has one large deployable airbag 
  attached to each of the wheels, so it can both float and drive 
  along the water, with a top speed of 30 kph. In addition, it 
  has a rocket and parachute repurposed from a helicopter 
  ejection seat attached to it. At the push of a button, the 
  entire car flies into the air on a parabolic trajectory, with 
  TOOLS OF The Trade
   
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  The Laundry
  a maximum height of 250 metres and covering a distance 
  of approximately half a kilometre. During this time, the 
  car travels at a speed of approximately 200 kph. This 
  later addition should only be used if the car is out in the 
  open. Using it in a building or underneath any structure is 
  almost certain to kill the occupants of the car. The rocket 
  and parachute can only be fitted on vehicles as small as a 
  Smartcar. However, the Laundry can attach any or all of 
  the other additions to any other car. Several high ranking 
  Laundry personnel have larger and more luxurious cars 
  fitted with the built-in area ward and banishing cigarette 
  lighter, as well as the mobile phone link. 
  Erich Zann Violin
  Availability: Difficult
  Certification Required
  This unique and terrible musical instrument is one of only 
  12 ever made. The Laundry owns three. Each violin was 
  made from the bones of 12 people whose deaths were 
  part of the twisted ritual needed to create this instrument. 
  Its pale ivory white colour reveals that it is made of bone. 
  This instrument is also one of the most destructive magical 
  devices. In the hands of someone skilled with the violin, it 
  can be made to play a variety of songs. It can duplicate the 
  effects of a level two to four Banishing, and a level two to 
  four exorcism against magic, the level of these effects is 
  chosen by the user. It can be used to banish a single creature 
  or exorcise a single spell that is active within 20 metres or it 
  can be played so that it does both and affects all spells and 
  extra-dimensional entities within 20 metres who can hear 
  the music. 
  The violin can also be used to attack humans and other living 
  beings. At the user’s discretion, the violin can do between 
  1d6 and 2d6 points of damage per round that it is played. It 
  is normally played so that it only affects the individual that 
  the neck of the violin is aimed at. However, it can be played 
  to produce a wild and terrible song that affects every living 
  being, other than the user, who is within 20 metres of the 
  violin and is not acoustically isolated from the music (such 
  as by being in a sound-proof room). Damage caused by 
  this violin comes from burst blood vessels, disrupted neural 
  impulses and eventually massive internal haemorrhages. 
  Everyone hearing the violin must also make a SAN roll 
  every round or suffer 1d4 SAN loss. Users can become used 
  to this SAN loss in the normal fashion. 
  This violin does not just harm listeners. The act of playing 
  it is painful and every round that it is played the user suffers 
  one HP of damage, mostly due to pain and blood loss 
  from the hand that is using the bow. Users also suffer one 
  point of temporary POW damage for every round that it 
  is played. A Perform (violin) roll is needed to activate the 
  different spell effects.   
  Fancy Dress Spy Suit 
  Availability: Difficult
  Certification Required
  Although rarely used, one of the odder and more useful 
  garments the Laundry has created is the fancy dress spy 
  suit. Designed specifically for use by field agents who 
  are computational sorcerers, it includes the following 
  accessories:
  •	
  One of the two dress shoes contains a pocket 
  for a smart card (see p101) in the tongue. When 
  pulled sharply, one shoelace extends into a three 
  metre ether net cable with ends that expand to fit 
  all standard electronic connectors. 
  •	
  A Tillinghast resonator is built into the heel of one 
  dress shoe. 
  •	
  The cummerbund contains a flexible folding 
  keyboard.
  •	
  The bow tie contains a flash drive with a variety 
  of intrusion and occult software and is also fitted 
  with a built-in USB connector. 
  •	
  Users also typically carry a ballpoint pen that 
  serves as a Bluetooth mouse. 
  This same set of gear can also be modified to fit into female 
  dress clothes as well as most uniforms. 
  Gravedust Rig
  Availability: Difficult
  Certification Required
  This is a highly specialised circuit board designed to 
  communicate with the dead. Low end models, made with 
  off the shelf components can only communicate with 
  individuals who have been dead for two weeks or less. If the 
  circuits are made purer and with more exacting tolerances, 
  then the unit can communicate with individuals that have 
  been dead for far longer. These improvements in purity and 
  precision also greatly increase the expense of the materials 
  used to manufacture the circuits. The best units can be used 
  to communicate with beings that have been dead for several 
  hundred thousand years or potentially even longer. The 
  first gravedust rigs were created in the early 1970s and were 
  made using specially designed and exceptionally expensive 
  vacuum tubes set in a complex star-shaped pattern. More 
  recent models use modern integrated circuit technology. 
  However, the basic design remains the same. The device is 
  connected to a phone and the user talks to the dead being 
  through it. Modern gravedust rigs are occasionally built into 
  cell phones. 
  Using a gravedust rig requires the immediate presence of a 
  corpse, which need not be human. By dialling the correct 
  code, the user can talk with the corpse as easily as they 
  could call their relatives. This dialling code is automatically 
  determined during the process of setting up a gravedust 
  rig to communicate with a particular corpse. The process 
  of setting up this device requires at least an hour of work 
  and a successful Electronics skill roll. The price of failure is 
  
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  simply the necessity of spending another hour and rolling 
  again. Users are strongly advised to wear powerful wards 
  when communicating with dead sorcerers or deceased non-
  human intelligences, since magically skilled entities that are 
  dead can attempt to possess the user through the connection 
  between them formed by the gravedust rig. 
  Hand Of  Glory
  Availability: Average (Class Two or Three HOGs) – Class 
  One and Class Four HOGs are Difficult
  Certification Required
  Often referred to as a HOG, this magical construct is a 
  perennial favourite of field agents, because it makes the 
  user temporarily invisible. More accurately, it makes the 
  user unnoticeable. Observers cannot focus on or notice 
  the presence of anyone holding a HOG, even if they are 
  standing a metre in front of them. 
  Using a standard Hand of Glory is exceedingly simple, the 
  user utters the command word and the hand automatically 
  ignites. Professionally made Hands always come with the 
  command word inscribed on their base. HOGs ignite the 
  instant their command word is spoken and immediately 
  render the user unnoticeable. This effect extends to 
  everything the user is wearing or carrying, including the 
  HOG itself. However, the HOG physically ignites, burning 
  as hot as a wax candle. Igniting a HOG in your pocket is 
  an excellent way to set your pocket on fire. Once ignited, 
  a Hand of Glory can be extinguished either by blowing 
  out the candles or by the user saying the command word 
  again. The one limitation on a HOG is that it only makes 
  the user unnoticeable for as long as it burns. The HOG’s 
  burning time is determined by its class, which is in turn 
  determined by its size. See the following table. Fortunately, 
  the listed time is the total burning time. A class three HOG 
  burns for a total of five minutes. If it is ignited for three 
  minutes and then extinguished, it can be reignited and used 
  for an additional two minutes.
  The protection provided by the HOG affects all observers, 
  including living beings, zombies and electronic surveillance. 
  Even if an observer knows that the user is locked in a small 
  room with them, the observer cannot see the user for as 
  long as the Hand of Glory is burning. The user can see 
  and hear normally and can be heard by anyone nearby but 
  they cannot be seen by any means, including night vision 
  or infrared cameras. This invisibility also protects the 
  user from attacks by basilisk weapons. The user instantly 
  becomes visible if the Hand of Glory goes out or if the 
  user lets go of it. 
  Normally, a Hand of Glory only renders a single individual 
  unnoticeable. However, if the user is in skin contact with 
  another person, then that person is also rendered invisible. 
  The user can render up to two additional people invisible 
  in this fashion. People who are rendered invisible using a 
  single Hand of Glory can all see one another normally.
  Mirrored Hand of  Glory 
  This recent variant of the Hand of Glory is a deadly 
  weapon. It appears identical to a standard HOG, except that 
  it’ss base is a silver phase-conjugate mirror. When activated 
  by saying the command word, a mirrored HOG emits a 
  beam of coherent light – a laser beam. It is essentially a 
  five-shot laser weapon made from a dead human hand, a 
  silver mirror and some carefully crafted circuitry. Each shot 
  uses up one finger. It is aimed normally and the user rolls 
  their Weapons (Esoteric) skill to successfully hit their target. 
  Regardless of whether they are mirrored or standard, HOGs 
  can be manufactured out of any hand-like appendage, from 
  mouse paws to the hands of great apes. Class two and three 
  HOGs are by far the most common and are the only ones 
  that are kept in stock. Class one and four HOGs must 
  be specially requisitioned. The duration of the invisibility 
  effect and the power of the laser beam depend upon the 
  size of the hand used.
  Class 
  Hand Type
  Total Burning 
  Time
  Damage
  1
  Mouse or shrew 
  paw
  30 seconds
  1d6+1 *
  2
  Pigeon claw or 
  monkey paw
  2 minutes
  2d6+4
  3
  Human, chimp or 
  orang-utan hand
  5 minutes
  3d6+6
  4
  Gorilla hand
  10 minutes
  4d6+8 
  5
  Hands from huge 
  alien beings
  30 minutes
  6d6+10 
  **
  * This type of HOG is very rare and is only made for special 
  uses.
  ** This type of HOG is purely theoretical and is not created 
  by Q Division.
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  Manufacturing HOGs
  Most operatives check out a Hand of Glory from Q 
  Division, but they are also one of the few items that can be 
  created on site with the correct materials. The most essential 
  component is a severed human hand and wrist from 
  someone who was executed or the equivalent body part 
  from an animal that was deliberately killed. The operative 
  also requires a few inches of thin conductive wire or solder, 
  a soldering iron, a digital-analogue converter and a computer 
  or smartphone running the correct magical application. 
  When combined with specialised micro-circuitry, the 
  neurons in the hand open a small type one gate (see p139) 
  that allows through a directed stream of information that 
  serves to power the HOG. The process of creating a HOG 
  is not for the squeamish and requires at least 15 minutes of 
  work. However, it is relatively easy and requires only a single 
  successful Electronics roll. The result is not quite as elegant 
  as a professionally made HOG, but it is just as effective 
  and just as durable. This process cannot be used to create 
  mirrored HOGs. Also, operatives are expected to provide 
  a report of every HOG they manufacture, including the 
  source of the hand.
  Necronomiphone
  Availability: Average
  Certification Required
  The iPhone 3GS is a marvel of modern technology, 
  in addition to being a phone, it is a web browser, a GPS 
  device, a digital compass and a fairly good still and video 
  camera. It can also run a wide variety of apps, from ebook 
  readers to one that provides location sensitive restaurant 
  recommendations. However, in the hands of a skilled 
  computational sorcerer, it can be so much more. By altering 
  the phone to accept outside programming (a process known 
  as jail-breaking the phone), sorcerers with lots of skill at 
  coding, or sufficiently obsessive and dedication colleagues, 
  can install a full suite of occult apps. These apps can be used 
  to create level one banishing, defensive binding, entropy 
  manipulation, exorcism, glamour, scrying and wards (area, 
  personal, and offensive) instantly and at the push of a single 
  touch screen ‘button’. This device can also be used as a 
  general magical assistant to perform all manner of more 
  complex spells. However, these spells require a normal 
  casting roll and not merely the push of a button.  
  Pale Grace Cosmetics
  Availability: None
  Enemy Technology
  This line of popular high-end cosmetics functions as a 
  level one glamour (see Glamour, p141). The cosmetics 
  are all contagion linked to a powerful glamour maintained 
  at the factory where they are made. As a result, these 
  cosmetics actually hide wrinkles and give the appearance 
  of smooth and healthy skin. The only drawback is that the 
  manufacturing process requires a small but regular supply 
  of human sacrifices, who must all be young women. In 
  addition, Pale Grace mascara contains particles nano-
  engraved with a Scrying spell (see Scrying, p142) as well 
  as individual chemical tags to tell each individual container 
  of the cosmetic apart. As a result, the sensory impressions 
  from the eyes and ears of all wearers are transferred to a 
  set of connected servers where they can be both recorded 
  and monitored live. When in use, these cosmetics created 
  the largest covert world-wide surveillance networks ever 
  known. Although both the glamour and the surveillance 
  network were taken down in 2005, the technology is 
  now known by several intelligence agencies and a few 
  private corporations and these cosmetics are known to be 
  under careful investigation by several governments and 
  transnational corporations. The Laundry does not currently 
  know of cosmetics that produce a glamour or that tap into 
  the wearer’s senses that are currently in use but both must 
  be considered to be likely. Any use of mass enchantments 
  similar to those on Pale Grace cosmetics is considered 
  a matter of national security and must be immediately 
  investigated by all Laundry field operatives. Laundry 
  Operatives are never issued these cosmetics.
  Personal Panic Button
  Availability: Not Available for Request
  The PPB is a wearable item that is only available to a small 
  number of Laundry personnel who are both considered to 
  be at high risk of attack and who are not certified for or 
  carrying weapons. This item consists of a small transmitter 
  that can be set off at the press of a button, backed up 
  by an enchanted amulet linked into the Laundry security 
  network. If the wearer cannot press the button or is in an 
  area that is isolated from cellular signals, then all they need 
  do is speak a special code-phrase to activate the amulet. 
  
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  10 TooLS
  Once activated this device alerts Laundry security that the 
  wearer is in trouble. At this point, the entire SCORPION 
  STARE network uses advanced facial recognition software 
  to look for the wearer and for anyone who appears to be an 
  immediate threat to them. 
  If operators see anyone who is attacking or threatening 
  the wearer, they use the SCORPION STARE network to 
  eliminate those attackers. At the same time, the Laundry 
  dispatches special, well-armed Watch Teams to protect and 
  render assistance to the wearer, using both the cellular signal 
  and triangulation using sympathetic magic to precisely locate 
  the operative. Because of the obvious danger of Watch 
  Teams getting caught in mundane or magical crossfire or 
  of being mistaken for additional attackers, agents who are 
  certified with and carrying occult or conventional weapons 
  are never issued this device. Also, due to the demands of 
  maintaining Watch Teams constantly ready for immediate 
  deployment, only personnel who are both considered vitally 
  important for national security and who have also had at 
  least one recent attempt on their lives are eligible for PPB 
  units. A PPB is usually either worn around the wearer’s neck 
  or locked to a wrist. In the later case, it is disguised as a 
  wrist watch. Operatives cannot request a PPB, these devices 
  are only issued if the operative’s superiors or the Predictive 
  Department consider it necessary. 
  Personal Wards
  Availability:
  Class One: Easy
  Class Two: Average
  Class Three: Difficult
  Class Four: Difficult
  In addition to being an invaluable spell, protective wards can 
  also be made into a small item designed to be worn. A typical 
  ward is a small leather, linen or silk bag containing a wide 
  variety of materials, usually including at least one carefully 
  made electronic circuit. Personal wards are considered 
  essential equipment by most field operatives. Although it is 
  possible to create wards of classes one through four, there 
  is little demand for class one wards. Instead, all department 
  issue personal wards are class two, three or four. Class two 
  wards are automatically issued to all department personnel. 
  Class three wards are available to all field operatives upon 
  request. Class four wards are only available to operatives on 
  high risk missions or to operatives who have experienced 
  attempts made to abduct, harm or kill them. 
  See page 145 for further details on wards. 
  Thaumometre
  Availability: Easy
  Certification Required
  This is another basic occult tool and can be built into 
  most types of portable electronics, including PDAs and 
  smartphones. Thaumometres detect thaumic or magical 
  energy (see page 126). They can detect the energies of 
  hauntings or bound up in objects that have been to other 
  dimensions and the energies associated with possession. 
  They can also detect the spatiotemporal disturbances that 
  indicate current occult energy. In short, they can detect if 
  someone is casting or using a spell. A thaumometre can 
  detect the level of a spell but it cannot determine the exact 
  nature of the spell – you need some sort of scrying for 
  that. Most thaumometres can be set for directional or non-
  directional sensitivity. In directional mode, most have a 
  range of 15 metres and in non-directional mode, they can 
  detect thaumic energy in any direction that is within five 
  metres. If your thaumometre suddenly gives you a high 
  reading, one of three things has happened, someone nearby 
  is using magic or carrying an enchanted item, a haunted 
  object is nearby or someone possessed is nearby. 
  Tillinghast Resonator
  Availability: Difficult
  Certification Required
  This device alters the user’s perceptions so that they can see 
  phenomena normally invisible to ordinary humans, as well 
  as seeing through some types of glamours. A Tillinghast 
  resonator automatically penetrates glamours up to level 
  three, but does nothing to remove the emotional effects 
  of such glamours (see Glamours, page 141). In addition, 
  it allows the user to see the presence of all active magic 
  spells, including offensive wards and to catch glimpses of 
  entities that are otherwise discreetly possessing the living 
  or the dead. 
  However, for all of this device’s utility, it is not 
  recommended for long term use. Using a Tillinghast 
  resonator causes the entire world to appear distorted 
  and subtly wrong, because it allows the user to see their 
  surroundings in ways their brain was not meant to see 
  it. While this device is on, the user temporarily subtracts 
  three from his POW during all attempts to resist fear or 
  intimidation. Also, the user temporarily reduces all social 
  skills by 10% because the perceptions caused by this device 
  are so disturbing. Operatives are advised to only use this 
  device when necessary. Using a Tillinghast resonator also 
  forces the operative to make a SAN roll or lose 1d4 SAN. 
  Operatives grow used to this effect normally. This device 
  can now be made quite small and including the battery, it fits 
  comfortably in a box no larger than a pocket-sized packet 
  of breath mints or the heel of a dress shoe.
  Trigger Guard
  Availability: Automatically provided on all magically 
  concealed firearms issued by Q Division.
  This enchantment is most often used on the triggers of 
  firearms, but can be used to render any device, from a 
  phone to a car, inoperable to anyone but the designated 
  operator. Creating this enchantment requires the designated 
  user to provide both the device and a drop of their blood 
  to Q Division, who use the principles of sympathetic magic 
  (see page 142) to link the device with the operator. Once 
  this linkage has been made, only the designated operator 
  can fit their finger through the trigger guard of a gun, turn 
  TOOLS OF The Trade
   
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  the key of a car or press a button on a phone. Anyone else 
  who attempts to do this finds that their finger slips off 
  and that they are completely incapable of operating the 
  device. Unfortunately, this enchantment does not prevent 
  someone from coercing or even physically forcing the user 
  to operate the device. In addition, if someone can cut off 
  the user’s finger or any other body part, like a toe, they can 
  use that severed appendage to help them pull a trigger, 
  push a button or turn a key. The user does not even need 
  to still be alive for this grisly tactic to work. Also, while an 
  unauthorised individual could not turn the key of a car 
  fitted with this device, they could successfully hotwire the 
  car. This enchantment is used on all magically concealed 
  firearms issued by the Laundry.
  Warding Tape
  Availability: Average (class three warding tape) – class four 
  warding tape is Difficult.
  In appearance, this is a roll of silver or yellow duct tape that 
  has various occult symbols written on it in black marker. 
  Looking closely at these symbols also reveals that they glow 
  slightly and eventually cause headaches to anyone who 
  looks at them too closely. Civilians who examine warding 
  tape carefully must make a SAN roll or lose 1d3 SAN.
  Warding tape can be used to rapidly create level three 
  protective area wards (see page 145), either by using them 
  to mark out an area of floor space or by taping around every 
  door, window or other opening in the room. Because of its 
  disturbing appearance, if it is used in a public location or 
  anywhere that civilians can see it, it must either be disguised 
  or removed before civilians can encounter it. Class four 
  warding tape exists but is rare and difficult to manufacture 
  and is only issued if there is excellent reason to believe that 
  class three wards will not be sufficient. See page 145 for 
  further details on area wards. 
  Warrant Card
  Availability: Special
  Laundry warrant cards are field agents’ most essential items 
  and all field operatives are required to carry them while on 
  duty. All Laundry operatives are issued warrant cards. In 
  addition to being official identification, they also include an 
  inscribed geas that affects everyone who sees it. This geas 
  has a variety of effects. The most basic and most powerful 
  effect is that viewers do not question the bearer’s identity. 
  Also, if the bearer takes charge of a situation, anyone seeing 
  the warrant card accepts the bearer’s authority. In addition, 
  the bearer can order someone looking at the warrant card to 
  either not talk about events they have witnessed or to forget 
  the bearers presence, simply by ordering the viewer to do so 
  in the name of national security. Warrant cards accomplish 
  these feats because they all contain a powerful geas. The 
  first words on a warrant card are ‘Her Brittanic Majesty’s 
  government commands and compels you to provide the bearer of  this 
  pass with all aid and assistance’. These words are written on top 
  of an exceptionally powerful sigil that compels obedience.
  This geas also prevents any unauthorised personnel from 
  picking up or attempting to use a warrant card. Warrant 
  cards work on all personnel who have not signed the third 
  paragraph of the Official Secrets Act in blood, as well as on 
  signatories who do not out-rank the bearer. 
  In addition to its other uses, warrant cards are also tied into 
  Laundry magical security protocols. As a result, Residual 
  Human Resources and other inhuman beings employed 
  to keep Laundry and related facilities secure can all be 
  controlled by showing them a warrant card and giving them 
  orders.
  Normally, warrant cards appear to be ordinary official 
  ID cards but they can be commanded to reveal their true 
  appearance, creepy sigils and all. In their natural state, warrant 
  cards are exceedingly distinctive and disturbing items and 
  thus serve as an unforgettable form of identification for 
  identifying Laundry agents to other signatories. Abuse of a 
  warrant card is a very serious offence and is usually grounds 
  for an investigation by the Auditors. 
  Bob’s Bag of holding
  • wallet
  • warrant Card
  • Credit Card
  • oyster Card
  • Cash - inc. euros, dollars, Krugerrands  
  • house keys
  • necronomiphone
  • hardened phone case (bullet-proof!)
  • Phone charger 
  • Personal ward (Class 3)
  • Leatherman
  • Circuit tester
  • Conductive-ink pen
  • Throat lozenges
  • Tissues
  • Plastic gloves
  • Salt
  
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  Conventional Spy Gear
  The Laundry is an intelligence agency specially tasked 
  with dealing with occult threats. As a result, Q Division 
  specialises in creating and issuing occult gear. However, 
  Laundry operatives must also regularly function as covert 
  operatives and cannot always rely solely upon their magic 
  and the enchanted devices produced by Q Division. As a 
  result, Laundry operatives are occasionally issued and can 
  also request tools and devices designed for conventional 
  covert operations. Most of these devices were created for 
  use by SIS operatives.
  Many of these devices are known to civilians only as 
  prototypes or rumours, because the best intelligence 
  services can get access to technology at least three to five 
  years before it becomes commercially available. This is yet 
  another of the many advantages to being in the intelligence 
  community. Of course, your superiors are never happy to 
  find that you left one of these devices where someone else 
  might find it and the fact that you were injured or running 
  for your life or both at once, does not always mollify them. 
  These would be some of the many disadvantages of being 
  in the intelligence community.
  Concealed Ballistic Vest
  Availability: Easy
  Magic is deadly, but so are bullets. It is difficult to use magic 
  to affect a well prepared computational sorcerer wearing a 
  level four ward. However, a single bullet can definitely ruin 
  their day. The problem is that the best ballistic protection 
  consists of bulky and obvious gear that quite rightly looks 
  like something worn by soldiers. Such body armour is more 
  than a little off-putting for walking down the street or 
  stopping into a pub. Because the goal is for covert operatives 
  to remain covert, this sort of gear will not be issued to them 
  and operatives are discouraged from purchasing military-
  grade body armour on-line. However, there are also ballistic 
  vests that can be comfortably and undetectably worn 
  under any clothing that is at least as bulky as a suit jacket 
  or a sweatshirt. These vests will not stop rifle bullets, but 
  they will protect the operative from attacks by knives and 
  most handgun bullets without scaring the neighbours or 
  otherwise attracting undue notice. 
  Note: This vest provides the wearer with four points of 
  protection against melee weapons and low velocity missile 
  weapons and eight points of protection from all firearms. 
  Disguised Pistol
  Availability: Average
  Certification Required
  Low calibre guns can be built into a wide variety of objects. 
  Cigarette lighters and large fountain pens are especially 
  popular choices, but options can include everything from 
  cigars to umbrellas. All of these weapons are single shot 
  weapons firing .32 ammunition. They require one full round 
  to reload with another bullet and are designed only for use 
  in dire emergencies. 
  Fibre Optic Probe
  Availability: Average
  This simple but useful tool consists of a fibre optic as 
  slender as a single bristle on a toothbrush, with a wide angle 
  lens located at the end. Able to extend up to 50 centimetres, 
  the fibre optic can be slipped under doors, through old-style 
  key holes or through any other small opening to allow the 
  user to see what is beyond the barrier. The view provided 
  by this device is equivalent to that provided by a cell phone 
  camera in the same location. 
  When not extended, the fibre optic is housed in a container 
  that appears to be a fancy medium-sized pen, which also 
  houses a small directional microphone. This directional 
  microphone can be used to hear normal speech at a range 
  of up to 50 metres and whispering at a range of up to five 
  metres. This device can either plug into or use a Bluetooth 
  connection to connect to a laptop, PDA or smartphone, 
  allowing the user to view the images on this device’s screen. 
  Gecko Suit
  Availability: Rare
  Certification Required
  This black suit looks like gear for off-road motorcycle riding 
  or some other extreme sport, except that the lower legs, 
  lower arms, palms, chest and back are all covered with a 
  rough-textured material derived from a careful analysis of 
  how geckos stick to walls. This suit allows the user to climb 
  any relatively flat surface, from the brick or wooden wall of 
  a house, to the outside of a glass and steel office tower. It 
  works in both dry and rainy weather and the only limitation 
  is that the wall must be strong enough to support the 
  climber – which all walls that are not in immediate danger 
  of falling down normally are. 
  Using this suit is tiring and the user can only use it to climb 
  at speeds of 30 feet per minute. However, no climbing roll 
  is needed to use this suit, nor is any other special equipment 
  required. Once instructed in its use, the user can simply 
  climb up almost any wall. Also, if the user becomes tired, 
  they can simply stop moving and the suit will hold them to 
  the wall. 
  Users who make a successful Climb roll can turn over, so 
  that they are supported by their back and the backs of their 
  arms and legs. This allows the user to easily observe their 
  surroundings. Failure on this roll causes the user to take two 
  full turns to get themselves in a position to try again and a 
  fumble on this roll means that the user falls. Users who have 
  successfully turned around and are within three metres of 
  the ground can attempt to make a successful Jump roll in 
  order to pull free and jump down on an opponent below. A 
  failure on this roll leaves the user stuck to the wall. A fumble 
  means that the user falls clumsily, taking falling damage and 
  missing their opponent.
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  Keystroke Logger
  Availability: Easy
  If you really want to know what is going on with someone 
  else’s computer, this is the gadget for you. A keystroke 
  logger gives you a sequential record of every keystroke 
  made by everyone who used this computer, including all 
  of their passwords. The standard way that the Laundry 
  manages keystroke logging is by externally hacking 
  someone else’s computer. No field agents are needed, on-
  site techs merely make use of various useful security holes 
  in software that allow them to have the target computer 
  deliver a record of these keystrokes via the internet. This 
  tactic works 98% of the time and only fails when dealing 
  with network security experts, paranoids who hire network 
  security experts, computers that are always kept off the 
  internet and similarly secure machines. Unfortunately, these 
  are exactly the sorts of machines likely to belong to enemy 
  intelligence operatives, rogue computational sorcerers and 
  other individuals of interest. To use keystroke logging on 
  these highly secure computers, you need to get far more up 
  close and personal and install a hardware keystroke logger.
  Hardware keystroke loggers are small devices that plug into 
  computers and record every keystroke. Although some are 
  made to broadcast this information, most are not, since 
  anyone with a computer secure enough to require one can 
  likely either block or detect such broadcasts. Instead, the 
  keystroke logger keeps a record of these keystrokes on its 
  internal memory. To gain access to this data, an operative 
  must gain access to the computer a second time and retrieve 
  the unit. Most are no larger than a fava bean and installing or 
  removing one only requires a few seconds, if the operative 
  is either plugging the device into the computer between the 
  keyboard and the cable going between the computer and 
  the keyboard. 
  However, people who are observant and careful may notice 
  a new device plugging into their computer. The only other 
  option is opening up the computer and installing it. This is 
  a very simple procedure that does not require a roll if the 
  character has both the Computer and Electronics skills at 
  25% or higher. However, the process of either installing or 
  retrieving the device requires at least 3 minutes of work and 
  if it is not completed, then it was clear that someone was 
  attempting to get into the computer.  
  Laser Microphone 
  Availability: Average
  This listening device is usually disguised as a pair of 
  binoculars. One of the eyepieces can actually be used as 
  a low-power telescope, while the other contains the laser 
  microphone. This device operates by projecting a low 
  power, invisible infra-red laser beam off of a reflective 
  surface made of glass or hard plastic, typically a window or 
  mirror. Because sound waves cause such surfaces to vibrate 
  minutely, a laser bounced off of the surface records these 
  vibrations and can be used to listen to any conversations or 
  other noises inside the room. The latest microphones can 
  also record sounds off of smoke or relatively still bodies of 
  water ranging in size from a lake to a bird bath. 
  The primary limitation on this device is that the operator 
  can only listen to conversations while the laser is aimed at 
  a mirror or other reflective surface in the same room as a 
  conversation they wish to overhear. Also, heavy curtains or 
  shutters completely block the use of laser microphones. 
  Most other covert operatives are aware of the existence of 
  these devices and attempt to ensure that their conversations 
  take place where these devices cannot be used to overhear. 
  Laser microphones must be mounted on a tripod or 
  otherwise remain stationary while in use, they cannot be 
  handheld. The range of a laser microphone is 100 metres. 
  Laser microphones cannot be used in all situations but 
  they are the best non-occult method of gaining covert 
  surveillance on a location that the operative cannot gain 
  physical access to. 
  Locator Bugs
  Availability: Average
  These tiny devices allow the user to locate any object on 
  which the bug has been affixed and to also listen to any 
  sounds within five metres of the device. Locator bugs 
  are most often attached to cars or placed in a target’s coat 
  pocket to allow the user to constantly track the location 
  of the car or person. Broadcasting an encrypted signal on 
  cellular data frequencies, this device can be used anywhere 
  that has cell phone reception. Broadcasts from this device 
  can be received on any laptop, PDA or smartphone with 
  either an installed map database or internet access. The user 
  can track the location of this device to within two metres. 
  The only limitation is that this device’s broadcasts cannot 
  be received if the locator is underground or in any other 
  location that is cut off from the cellular network.
  This device is the size of a fava bean and can be disguised 
  as anything from a button to a piece of candy. If swallowed, 
  its broadcast still allows it to be located but the microphone 
  provides no useful information. These devices come with 
  a peel-off adhesive backing that can be replaced and are 
  normally issued in lots of five. 
  Microdrone 
  Availability: Difficult
  Certification Required
  This tiny robot is the size and shape of a small humming 
  bird and flies in a very similar manner. It is five centimetres 
  long, one centimetre in diameter, with a six centimetre 
  wingspan. This diminutive robot flies using wings and high 
  density lithium batteries. It contains two video cameras. 
  One camera allows the user to see from the point of view 
  of the microdrone. The other connects to a computer 
  within the microdrone and allows this device to navigate 
  autonomously, avoiding obstacles and allowing this device 
  to automatically follow a person based on the colour and 
  pattern of their clothing or a car based on its colour and 
  
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  shape. Both cameras can clearly see objects within 15 metres 
  and have optical zooms lenses to allow them to focus on 
  targets up to 50 metres away. These cameras also have 
  light intensification capability to permit somewhat grainy 
  night vision. The microdrone also contains a speaker and 
  microphone, allowing the user to both listen to the drone’s 
  surroundings and to communicate with anyone nearby.
  Microdones fly at speeds of up to 50 kph and can fly for 
  up to 30 minutes without recharging. They can maintain 
  encrypted radio contact via cellular data networks or via 
  a two way radio with a range of two kilometres. Versions 
  designed to swim underwater, with top speeds of 20 kph 
  also exist. Microdrones can be controlled via a specialised 
  smartphone app or via a dedicated controller that looks 
  much like a portable videogame. Using a smartphone with 
  an accelerometre allows the user to steer the microdrone 
  simply by moving the phone. Operatives are discouraged 
  from using pairs of these units in radio-controlled dog 
  fights. The one limitation on this device is that anyone who 
  gets a good look at it, even in flight, will know that it is 
  obviously artificial.
  Remote Controlled Bug
  Availability: Difficult
  Certification Required
  In the intelligence community, the term bug typically refers 
  to a covert listening device but in this case it also refers to an 
  actual living insect. Based on recent research in arthropod 
  neurology, MI6 has a small number of specialised devices 
  that can be implanted in a large insect like a stag beetle or 
  one of the larger species of dragonfly. The external portion 
  of this device is a disk one centimetre in diameter and is 
  typically coloured to match the insect’s carapace, allowing 
  the insect to appear to be a perfectly normal member of its 
  species unless it is examined carefully. The control unit also 
  contains a camera, microphone and speaker. Essentially, this 
  device is a wireless video camera, mounted on a remotely 
  controlled insect. As with the microdrone, this device can 
  be controlled via either a smartphone or radio controlled via 
  a specialised controller at a range of up to two kilometres.
  The battery in this device can power it for up to 12 
  hours. This device is specifically used for both long term 
  assignments where the limited battery life of the microdrone 
  is insufficient or where a microdrone is likely to be noticed. 
  This device simply appears to be a large insect that is 
  perhaps behaving a bit oddly. One of the major limitations 
  is that this device is only as fast and manoeuvrable as the 
  actual insect. This is not a problem for the dragonfly, 
  which is highly manoeuvrable and has a top speed of 50 
  kph. However, the dragonflies used with this device have 
  wingspans of 16 centimetres and are 13 centimetres long, 
  so are exceedingly obvious, if not particularly suspicious. 
  The stag beetles are seven centimetres long but they can 
  only fly at a speed of 7 kph. The one advantage stag beetles 
  have is that most of the transmitters are implanted in female 
  stag beetles whose jaws are less impressive than the male 
  stag beetle’s but far stronger and they can be ordered to cut 
  very thin wires, damage fragile objects or deliver a painful 
  but harmless bite to any person who gets their hands near 
  the beetle’s mouthparts.
  Nausea Flash
  Availability: Average
  Certification Required
  This new piece of technology appears to be a large LED 
  flashlight with many LEDs, including coloured LEDs. It 
  can be used as a flashlight but with the push of a button, it 
  produces brilliant flashes of coloured light that disorients 
  any target within 10 metres. Aiming this device is very easy, 
  requiring only a successful DEX x 5 roll to hit. If this device 
  is aimed at a target that is within 10 metres, who can see and 
  is not facing away from it, the target must make a CON x 3 
  roll. Targets who fail are incapacitated with nausea for the 
  next five turns. Targets that succeed are still mildly nauseous 
  and halve all rolls for as long as the light is aimed at them 
  and for five additional turns. Also, targets that succeed in 
  resisting the effects of this device must roll again every 
  turn that this device is aimed at them. Unless activated in its 
  incapacitating mode, this device appears to be an ordinary 
  large LED flashlight that is 20 centimetres long with a 
  barrel nine centimetres in diameter and a cone containing 
  the lights that is five centimentres in diameter. This device 
  can operate for up to two hours of continuous use before 
  it must be recharged.
  Smart Card
  Availability: Easy
  This useful device is an electronic card that superficially 
  looks like a normal electronic hotel key card. It comes 
  with a set of removable decals for all major hotel chains. 
  However, the circuitry inside the card is an induction loop 
  and a microprocessor, instead of a simple magnetic strip. 
  Once inserted in a lock, the card runs through all of the 
  standard override keys used to open doors locked by hotel 
  key cards. With this card, the user can enter any hotel room 
  as easily and swiftly as if it were their own.
  T-Ray Scanner
  Availability: Difficult
  Using a mixture of long wave infra-red radiation and 
  terahertz radiation (electromagnetic waves halfway between 
  infra-red radiation and microwaves), this device allows the 
  user to see through all interior walls that are not specially 
  shielded or reinforced and through outside walls that are 
  not made of thick stone or reinforced concrete. It also 
  allows the user to see underneath long overcoats and similar 
  bulky garments to see if the target is wearing or carrying 
  something obvious like a firearm or a suicide belt. This 
  device has a range of 10 metres and clearly reveals people 
  and other large objects on the other side of walls. 
  However, these images are fuzzy and reveal no more than 
  outlines without much detail. Recognising individuals is 
  impossible. As long as the external temperature is below 
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  30 degrees Centigrade, it can determine if a person on the 
  other side of a wall is alive or dead (if they have been dead 
  more than several hours and have thus cooled). The one 
  downside of this device is that it is quite large and obvious. 
  It consists of a large flashlight shaped object 25 centimetres 
  long, with a seven centimetre diameter cone at one end 
  and a barrel four centimetres in diameter. It weights half 
  a kilogram and is very obvious. Using either a wired or a 
  Bluetooth connection, it displays images of whatever it is 
  aimed at on the screen of a laptop, PDA or smartphone.
  3-W Laser
  Availability: Difficult
  Certification Required
  Yes, real spies occasionally get laser weapons. Of course, this 
  isn’t an action movie so it’s not a particularly dangerous laser 
  weapon. No one is going to blast their enemies, cause cars 
  to explode or cut through windows with this laser. However, 
  it can be used to almost instantly render CDs, DVDs or 
  plastic covered flash drives unreadable, destroy exposed 
  sensitive circuitry in seconds, permanently or temporarily 
  blind security cameras, ignite paper and cardboard and burn 
  small holes in plastic. It can also be used to cut through 
  thin cables like phone lines or Ethernet cables in 10 seconds 
  or to burn enough paper or plastic to set off most smoke 
  alarms in less than 30 seconds. Best of all, you do all of 
  this at a range of up to 30 metres, if you have a clear line 
  of sight to the target. Also, the beam is invisible unless it is 
  shining through smoke, fog or water. 
  This laser can also be used to attempt to blind people. 
  However, the beam needs to strike one of the target’s eyes, 
  meaning that the user must roll DEX x 3 to hit and if the 
  target is aware of the attack, they can also make a Luck 
  (POW x 5) roll to avoid the beam striking their eyes. If the 
  beam does strike the target’s eye, the target is temporarily 
  blinded in that eye and temporarily halves all rolls based on 
  vision, including all ranged attack rolls. The target must also 
  roll POW x 3 to avoid being immobilised by pain and panic. 
  In almost all cases, this blindness is temporary unless the 
  user is able to shine the laser at the targets eye for several 
  seconds, which requires the target to be restrained. This 
  laser is 12 centimetres long, 2.5 centimetres in diameter and 
  is often disguised as a LED flashlight. It can operate for 20 
  minutes before it needs to be recharged.  
  Name
  Avail.
  Skill
  Base
  Damage
  Attack
  Special
  Range
  HP
  Ammo
  SIZ
  Disguised 
  Pistol (.32) *
  Average
  Pistol
  20
  1d8
  1
  Impaling
  5
  4
  1
  0.5
  Glock 17 
  (9mm Pistol)
  Average
  Pistol
  20
  1d10
  3
  Impaling
  20
  8
  17
  1
  Walther PPK 
  (9mm Pistol)
  Average
  Pistol
  20
  1d8
  3
  Impaling
  20
  8
  7
  0.5
  AA-12 Assault 
  Shotgun
  Average
  Shotgun
  30
  4d6/2d6/ 
  1d6
  1 or 2 
  or burst
  Impaling
  10/20/50
  14
  20
  4
  MP5 
  Difficult
  Submachine 
  Gun
  15
  1d10
  2 or 
  burst
  Impaling
  15/30
  10
  30
  2
  L119A1
  Difficult
  Assault 
  Rifle
  15
  2d6+4
  1, 3 or 
  burst 
  Impaling
  90
  11
  40
  3
  L96 Sniper 
  Rifle
  Difficult
  Rifle
  25
  2d10+4
  1
  Impaling
  250
  10
  11
  4
  Taser
  Average
  Exotic
  10
  2d6
  ½
  Stun
  DEX
  8
  1
  0.5
  Grenade, 
  Explosive 
  Difficult
  Throw
  25
  4d6/4 
  metres
  1
  Knockback
  Thrown
  8
  0.5
  Grenade, 
  Concussion
  Difficult
  Throw
  25
  2d6/2 
  metres
  1
  Knockback, 
  Stun
  Thrown
  8
  0.5
  Grenade, 
  Smoke
  Average
  Throw
  25
  3 metre 
  smoke 
  cloud
  1
  Thrown
  6
  0.5
  UGL Grenade 
  Launcher
  Difficult
  Heavy 
  Weapon
  15
  3d6/2 
  metres
  1/3
  Knockback
  20
  12
  1
  +1
  M72 Law
  Difficult
  Heavy 
  Weapon
  15
  8d6/1 
  metre
  1
  Knockback
  150
  10
  1
  5
  Javelin Missile
  Difficult
  Heavy 
  Weapon
  15
  10d6/5 
  metres
  1/3
  Impaling, 
  Knockback
  400
  12
  1
  7
  Plastic 
  Explosive
  Difficult
  Demolition
  01
  6d6/3 
  metres
  Knockback
  15
  1
  * The disguised pistol is described on page 99. 
  
  103
  10 TooLS
  Common Firearms and Explosives
  The Laundry has a modest but comprehensive arsenal 
  of hot lead delivery systems. In general, guns are kept out of 
  the hands of agents – a gun that is never fired is less likely to 
  cause legal complications. Still, sometimes one needs to put 
  five rounds rapidly into the chap with the wings.
  All firearms require certification.
  The Glock 17 and Walther PPK are both standard issue 
  handguns for various security and intelligence agencies. 
  The Glock 17 is the standard sidearm for armed police in 
  the United Kingdom; the Walther PPK is a concealed carry 
  weapon made famous by James Bond.
  The AA-12 is an automatic 12-gauge shotgun with a 20 
  round drum magazine that is used by combat-trained 
  operatives for handling severe threats. 
  The H&K MP5 is a compact submachine that is especially 
  popular with counter-terrorism and hostage rescue teams 
  and is used by the SAS.
  The LL119A1 is the SAS assault rifle, a variation on the 
  more common MI6 design.
  The L96 Sniper rifle is one of a family of sniper rifles used 
  by the SAS.
  The taser weapon fires two darts connected to trailing 
  wires and incapacitates the target with a jolt of electricity. 
  The victim of a taser hit may be stunned; roll the weapon’s 
  normal damage and make a Resistance roll vs. the target’s 
  current Hit Points. If the attack is successful, the character 
  is stunned for a number of rounds equal to the points of 
  stun damage done.
  Grenades list both the damage and the radius of the 
  explosion; reduce the damage by 1d6 for every metre 
  beyond the epicentre of the blast. For example, a character 
  who is three metres away from an explosive grenade blast 
  takes only 1d6 damage.
  The UGL is an Underslung Grenade Launcher that can be 
  attached to an assault rifle or other long-barrelled weapon. 
  It is a single-shot weapon.
  The M72 Light Anti-Tank Weapon is a man-portable direct-
  fire anti-vehicle rocket, while a Javelin Missile is an indirect-
  fire laser-guided weapon designed to strike at tanks from 
  above.
  TOOLS OF The Trade
   
  ChapTer Ten
  
  104
  The Laundry
  Capital Laundry Services are a branch of the civil service 
  and that means more red tape that the human mind can 
  comfortably comprehend. There are endless, labyrinthine 
  procedures for everything, no decision can be taken without 
  16 rounds of meetings, consultations and cost/benefit 
  analyses and defending reality from the horrors of the 
  Mythos takes second place to defending your budget from 
  the horrors of cutbacks. Roleplaying game sessions focus 
  on the 1% of the time when interesting things are going 
  on – most of your character’s working life is taken up with 
  filling out forms, writing reports and filing.
  Still, you cannot escape the Laundry’s bureaucracy. The red 
  tape tentacles draw you inexorably back into the mouth of 
  madness. There are two key skills related to dealing with the 
  Laundry bureaucracy:
  Bureaucracy (see page 34): Your knowledge of the ins and 
  outs of the filing system, how to hide reports, cheat the 
  system and catch others doing the same thing.
  Status (see page 45): Your standing in the Laundry – your 
  rank, your seniority, your invisible influence and your 
  political pull. Your ability to get things done. Status can be 
  used to requisition items or services.
  Requisitions
  ‘That’s the cue for business: ‘first, I need to indent for 
  a new class four certified defensive ward, personal, 
  safe to wear 24x7.’ I pause. ‘Make that two: the second 
  one’s for Dr. O’Brien.’ That’s Mo. ‘I also want to draw 
  a HOG, cat three with silvered base and a suitable 
  carrier. And.’ I steel myself: ‘I’ll take your advice on 
  the next, but I was thinking about drawing a personal 
  protective firearm -- I’m certificated on the Glock -- and 
  a box of ammunition. I won’t be routinely carrying it 
  but it’ll be kept at home to repel boarders.’
  ‘You don’t need a Glock to get rid of lodgers, my son --’ 
  he spots my expression -- ‘had a problem?’
  —  The Fuller Memorandum 
  When requesting support or equipment, you must make a 
  Status roll, applying the modifiers listed for each item of 
  gear or support service. If the roll succeeds, your request 
  is approved. If it fails, the request is denied. At his or 
  her discretion, the Game Master may give circumstantial 
  bonuses for excellent justification or roleplaying.
  If the roll fails, you can dig into your budget. See Budget 
  Spending, page 110.
  Example: Bob Howard (Status 50%) wants some extra firepower for 
  home defence: two Class Four wards, a Class Three Hand of  Glory 
  and a gun. The class four wards are both Difficult to obtain, so Bob’s 
  skill is halved to 25% when rolling to requisition those items. He rolls 
  an 18 and a 32… Bob can only get one ward but then Mo’s player 
  points out that the second ward is for her character and that she has got 
  a higher Status than Bob, so the roll should be against her Status, not 
  his. The GM shrugs and agrees. A Class Three Hand of  Glory is 
  Average, so Bob’s player rolls a straight Status roll for that. He rolls 
  a 30 – a success.
  Finally, the Glock is also Average difficulty to obtain. This time, Bob’s 
  player rolls a 64, well above his Status of  50. Bob’s request is denied, 
  unless he can come up with a very strong justification to convince Harry 
  the Horse.  
  ‘Here’s the vast expanse of what used to be the typing pool – so-called because in the old days there used to be 
  officers here who couldn’t use a keyboard. These days it’s our administrative core, a place where civil servants 
  come to die. The Laundry, perforce, must find work for many idle hands – the hands of everyone who comes to 
  our attention and must needs be made a job offer they’re not allowed to refuse. Luckily bureaucracy breeds, and 
  it takes many meetings to manage the added complexity of administration required by our chronic overstaffing. 
  There are people here who I only know of through their Outlook calendars, which are perpetually logjammed. 
  Entire departments beaver away in anonymous quiet, building paper dams to hold the real world at bay. I shine 
  my torch across empty in-trays, battered chairs, desks that reek of existential pointlessness. I could have been 
  trapped here for good, I realize. I shudder as I move on. Being part of the Laundry’s active service arm brings 
  hazards of its own: but dying of boredom isn’t one of them.’
  — Overtime
  Budgets,requisitions 
  and Training
  ASSIGNED EqUIPMENT AND 
  SUPPOrT
  Characters may be assigned equipment 
  by their superiors. This equipment 
  must be returned in proper working 
  order at the end of the mission. 
  If equipment is damaged in the 
  line of duty, you must account for 
  this loss. For more on assigned 
  equipment, see page 104.
  Similarly, you can be assigned 
  support services, like a police 
  helicopter, to get you to the murder 
  scene quickly. These services do 
  not come out of your budget.
  
  105
  11 BudGeTS eTC
   
  ChapTer eLeven
  Gear Requisitions
  Gear requisitions are made through the Armoury section or direct from Q Division. Some items have a minimum skill level 
  required to obtain certification. 
  Occult Items
  Availability
  Certification Threshold
  Page 
  Banishment Round
  Easy
  Firearms (Any) 20%
  92
  Basilisk Gun
  Average
  Firearms (Esoteric) 40%
  92
  Concealed Weapon
  Difficult
  Firearms (Any) 60%
  93
  Enhanced Smart Car
  Difficult
  Computer Use (Magic) 40%, Drive (Auto) 20%
  93
  Erich Zann Violin
  Difficult
  Play Instrument (Violin) 60%
  94
  Fancy Dress Spy Suit
  Difficult
  Computer Use (Hacking) 20%
  94
  Gravedust Rig
  Difficult
  Computer Use (Magic) 40%
  94
  Hand of Glory
  Class One
  Class Two
  Class Three
  Class Four
  Difficult
  Average
  Average
  Difficult
  Firearms (Esoteric) 20%
  95
  Necronomiphone
  Average
  Computer Use (Magic) 20%
  96
  Personal Ward
  Class One
  Class Two
  Class Three
  Class Four
  Easy
  Average
  Difficult
  Difficult
  None
  97
  Thaumometer
  Easy
  Science (Thaumaturgy) 20%
  97
  Tillinghast Resonator
  Difficult
  Science (Thaumaturgy) 40%
  97
  Trigger Guard
  Special
  None
  97
  Warding Tape
  Class Three
  Class Four
  Average
  Difficult
  None
  98
  Warrant Card
  Special
  None
  98
  Spy Toys
  Availability
  Certification Threshold
  Page 
  Disguised Pistol
  Average
  Firearms (Unconventional) 20%
  99
  Fibreoptic Probe
  Average
  Technology Use (Surveillance) 20%
  99
  Gecko Suit
  Difficult
  Climb 40%
  99
  Keystroke Logger
  Easy
  None
  100
  Laser Microphone
  Average
  None
  100
  Locator Bug
  Easy
  None
  100
  Microdrone
  Difficult
  Pilot (Drone) 20%
  100
  Nausea Flash
  Average
  Firearms (Exotic) 20%
  101
  Remote Control Bug
  Difficult
  Pilot (Drone) 20%
  101
  Smart Card
  Easy
  None
  101
  T-Ray Scanner
  Difficult
  Technology Use (Surveillance) 20%
  101
  3-W Laser
  Difficult
  Firearms (Exotic) 40% 
  102
  
  106
  The Laundry
  Firearms 
  and 
  Combat 
  Equipment
  Availability
  Certification Threshold
  Page 
  Concealed Ballistic Vest
  Easy
  None
  99
  Walther PPK
  Average
  Firearms (Pistol) 20%
  103
  Glock 17
  Average
  Firearms (Pistol) 20%
  103
  AA-12 Shotgun
  Average
  Firearms (Shotgun) 20%
  103
  MP5 submachine gun
  Difficult
  Firearms (Submachine gun) 40%
  103
  M16 machine gun
  Difficult
  Firearms (Rssault rifle) 40%
  103
  L96 Sniper Rifle
  Difficult
  Firearms (Rifle) 40%
  103
  Grenade, Concussion
  Difficult
  Demolition 20%
  103
  Grenade, Stun
  Difficult
  First Aid 20%
  103
  Grenade, Smoke
  Average
  Demolition 20%
  103
  Grenade Launcher
  Difficult
  Heavy Weapons (Grenade launcher) 40%
  103
  Javelin Missile Launcher
  Difficult
  Heavy Weapons (Rocket launcher) 40%
  103
  Plastic Explosive
  Difficult
  Demolition 40%
  103
  Support Requisitions 
  Requests for support work the same way as gear requisitions. 
  If a character needs to call in the Plumbers or the SAS, 
  he can do so – assuming he makes a successful Status roll. 
  Again, the Status roll is modified depending on the difficulty 
  and the situation.
  The list of potential support from other departments and 
  government agencies is not exhaustive; if the characters 
  need to requisition, say, NHS hospital admission records or 
  an RAF Hercules transport plane or a Polaris missile, the 
  GM should assign a suitable difficulty to the request.
  Modifiers 
  –20% 
   
  The most recently requested item was lost or returned damaged or 
  inoperable due to any neglect or carelessness by the operative .
  +20% 
   
  The officer was issued an identical item for similar reasons before and 
  returned it safely.
  –10% 
   
  The item is outside of the operative’s specialty.
  +10% 
   
  The item is obviously useful for dealing with the problem at hand 
  (such as a defensive ward or a weapon to deal with the threat of 
  attack).
  –20%  
   
  The item is not obviously connected to the problem at hand. 
  –20% 
   
  The officer lacks the certification needed to use the item.
  +10% 
   
  The officer’s skill is at least twice that needed for certification.
  Laundry Departments
  Section
  Service
  Availability
  Page
  Transport
  Transport within UK.
  Average
  83
  Requisition a vehicle for use in London.
  Average
  International plane tickets at short notice.
  Difficult
  Requisition of a magically augmented vehicle. 
  Difficult
  Media 
  Relations
  Get access to newspaper records or journalist.
  Easy
  84
  Issue a D-Notice to a local newspaper or broadcaster.
  Average
  Issue a D-Notice to a national newspaper or broadcaster.
  Difficult
  
  107
  11 BudGeTS eTC
  BudgeTS, requiSiTiOnS eTC  ChapTer eLeven
  Baggers
  Occult forensic examination of a crime scene.
  Easy
  86
  Banishment of an entity that is already secure.
  Average
  Banishment or containment of a hazardous creature that is still on the 
  loose.
  Difficult
  Cleaners
  Erase evidence at a contained location.
  Average
  86
  Erase evidence at a public location with witnesses.
  Difficult
  86
  Plumbers
  Prevent Laundry personnel from talking about an incident by placing 
  them under a geas.
  Easy
  86
  Banish a level one or two entity.
  Easy
  Alter memories of a single individual.
  Average
  Banish a level three entity.
  Average
  Alter memories of multiple individuals.
  Difficult
  Banish a level four entity.
  Difficult
   
  Other Groups
  Section
  Service
  Availability
  Page
  Police
  Access to police records.
  Easy
  Police backup.
  Average
  Use of police resources.
  Varies
  Use of surveillance team (SCD-10).
  Average
  115
  Evacuate an area (CO3).
  Difficult
  115
  Armed Response Unit (CO19).
  Difficult
  116
  Territorial 
  SAS
  Armed Backup (four man squad).
  Average
  116
  Armed Backup (16 man troop).
  Difficult
  116
  Modifiers
  +10% 
   
  Requisition is from character’s own   
   
   
  section.
  +10% 
   
  The section has been forewarned that it  
   
   
  may be required to provide services in  
   
   
  the near future.
  -10% to -20% 
  The requested support must travel   
   
   
  outside their normal area of operations  
   
   
  (for example, calling in the SAS in the  
   
   
  middle of nowhere).
  –10% 
   
  The requested support must be available  
   
   
  within the next 24 Hours.
  –20% 
   
  The requested support must be available  
   
   
  now! 
  Example: Bob, for reasons that are wholly outside the scope of  this 
  example, is hiding in a cave on a small uncharted island in the middle 
  of  the North Sea. He needs the cavalry to come riding to his aid. 
  Bob has a Status of  50%. He requisitions a four-man SAS squad 
  (Average difficulty). He needs support now (–20%) and it is outside 
  of  the SAS’s normal area of  operation (–20%), meaning he has only 
  a 10% chance of  being able to get this help without consequence.
  Budgets and Spending
  ‘The Laundry is infamous for its grotesque excesses 
  in the name of accounting; budgetary infractions are 
  punished like war crimes, and mere missing paper clips 
  can bring the wrath of dead alien gods down on your 
  head. But when Angleton says don’t spare the horses he 
  sends us screaming across the countryside at a hundred 
  and forty miles per hour, burning aviation fuel by the 
  ton and getting ATC to clear lower priority traffic out 
  of our way – and all because he doesn’t want to be late 
  for a meeting.’
  — The Concrete Jungle
  Bob Howard works in the IT department. When Bob buys a 
  new server, it comes out of the IT budget. When Bob calls 
  in the Plumbers to deal with a demonic outbreak, it also 
  comes out of the IT budget. Both of these things make 
  Bob’s boss very unhappy.
  Your characters can always charge some expenses to your 
  department. You should not – departmental spending 
  decisions are taken by people several pay grades above 
  you – but in an emergency, you may have no choice but to 
  stick the cost of calling in the Plumbers or the SAS onto 
  the department tab. Drawing on the departmental budget 
  makes you very unpopular with your superiors. 
  
  108
  The Laundry
  When on a mission or other field assignment, you may also 
  have a mission budget. The mission budget can be spent on 
  equipment and support for your assigned task; if anything 
  is left over, you can spend it on training for your group. 
  Mission budget decisions are taken collectively by the Player 
  Characters. 
  Mission Budgets
  ‘There’s a certain vicarious amusement to be had in stepping out at 
  night with a beautiful blonde on my arm and a brown manila envelope 
  in my inside pocket labelled HOSPITALITY EXPENSES – 
  even if  I’m going to have to account for any cash I pull out of  it, in 
  triplicate, on a form F.219/B that doesn’t list ‘gambling losses’ as an 
  acceptable excuse.’
  — The Jennifer Morgue 
  All of the Player Characters share a single mission budget. 
  The size of this budget, if any, is determined by the GM 
  but as a guideline:
  Mission 
  Budget
  Internal committee or event (Christmas 
  party organisation committee)
  10
  Unremarkable mission (investigate occult 
  activity in Swindon)
  25
  Important mission (track down a missing 
  Laundry agent before terrorists get hold of 
  the Necronomicon) 
  50
  Dangerous mission (lead the exploration of 
  the island that just rose up out of the Pacific 
  and look out for Black Chamber assassins)
  100
  For example: Three Laundry officers are sent to investigate a 
  possible cult in Cornwall. They have a budget of  25 points to use on 
  requisitions. The three officers must decide which requisitions are worth 
  spending budget points on.
  Departmental Budgets
  ‘Harriet looms over me, visibly working on her anger. 
  ‘You realise that last night you cost our working budget 
  more than seven thousand pounds? That’s going to 
  have to be justified, Mr. Howard, and you are going 
  to justify it to the Audit Commission when they come 
  round next month.’
  — The Atrocity Archives
  Each Player Character has access to the budget of his or her 
  own department. The Departmental Budget is effectively 
  bottomless but the more you draw on it, the more trouble 
  you are in. If you exhaust your collective mission budget, 
  you can draw on the Departmental Budget instead in certain 
  circumstances:
  •	
  You can draw on your Departmental Budget if it is 
  an emergency. If you call in the Plumbers because 
  a monster has followed you home, then they will 
  rescue you first and bill you later.
  •	
  You can draw on your Departmental Budget if 
  you make a successful Bureaucracy check to hide 
  the spending. If you fail this check, then your 
  superiors have noticed your attempt to hide a 
  requisition for a Basilisk Gun as ‘audio-visual 
  recording equipment with after-market memory 
  upgrade’. If you succeed, you have managed to 
  bury the paperwork for a while but it may come 
  back to haunt you at some point in the future.
  If, through the miracles of matrix management, you work 
  for several departments, you can pick which department’s 
  budget you are exploiting. It is a good idea to share the pain, 
  so that no one departmental budget is overextended.
  Departmental Budget expenditures reset to zero after a 
  mission.
  Using a Budget
  You can spend money from a budget to turn a failed Status 
  check into a successful one. This reduces your budget by 
  an amount equal to the margin of failure (the difference 
  between your Status skill after modifiers and the roll you 
  actually made).
  For example: To continue the previous example, Bob only had a 10% 
  chance to succeed in his Status check to request support from the SAS. 
  Bob’s player rolls a 65 – a difference of  55.
  Bob had a mission budget of  25, so he exhausts that first. That still 
  is not enough to turn his roll into a success, so he dips into the IT 
  department funds. He takes another 30 points from the IT department 
  budget to pay for his rescue. 
  End-of-Mission Accounting
  After a mission, if you have points remaining in a Mission 
  Budget, these points can be spent on Training Courses for 
  team members. If your Mission Budget is exhausted, you do 
  not get to go on weekend junkets to the countryside. (You 
  may also be sent on training courses by your superiors.) 
  However, if you have drawn on your Departmental Budget, 
  then you have to face the wrath of your superiors and 
  Financial Control. The degree of inquiry and possible 
  retribution depends on how much you appropriated from 
  HOW MUCH MONEY?
  Budgets are deliberately abstract 
  – like so many government spending 
  projections, the numbers involved 
  are quite unreal. Spending also 
  means different things to different 
  departments – a 10 point spend in 
  the IT department might cost ten 
  thousand pounds, while the same 
  spend for SAS support might run to 
  half a million. Do not consider the 
  real-world amount – consider the 
  amount of hassle spending the money 
  is going to cause your superiors.
  
  109
  11 BudGeTS eTC
  the budget (not including any spending you have managed 
  to hide). The Game Master may choose to roleplay the 
  inquiry process or just call for a Bureaucracy or Persuade 
  roll to determine how well you defend yourself.
  If the inquiry goes badly, your Status score is reduced by the 
  listed amount. 
  Budget 
  Appropriation
  Likely Inquiry 
  Status 
  Loss
  10 or less
  A stern talking to by 
  your manager.
  1d3%
  25 or less
  Long boring meetings 
  with Financial Control, 
  review of past spending 
  (which may turn up 
  previous irregularities).
  1d6%
  50 or less
  Audit committee.
  2d6%
  100 or less
  Suspended pending 
  full review of 
  procedures, complete 
  audit, potential budget 
  freeze, cutbacks or 
  termination.
  3d6% or 
  more
  Note that if a team are consistently spending under their 
  budget, they are obviously being assigned too much money 
  and their future allocations should be reduced!
  Training Packages
  If you have any Mission Budget left over, you may spend it 
  on training courses. Each training course must be bought 
  separately for each Player Character.
  At the end of the course of study, the Game Master 
  should make a roll of the instructor’s Teach skill (usually 
  30+3d20%).  If the roll is successful, your player gets a 
  successful check in all of the skills taught in the course. If 
  the roll is a special success, your character gets an automatic 
  gain in all of the skills taught in the course. A failure on 
  the instructor’s part wastes everyone’s time and yields no 
  experience checks and a fumble causes your character 
  to lose 1d6% from one of the skills taught in the course 
  through disinformation or bad example. 
  A character may take a course more than once, but may 
  not increase the same skill from the same course twice. 
  For example, if you go through a Level 1 Firearms course 
  and increase Firearms (Pistols), you may not gain another 
  checkmark for that speciality from the Level 1 course. 
  If you redo the course, you must pick another Firearms 
  speciality to benefit. 
  Examples of commonly-taught courses available to Capital 
  Laundry Service employees, the cost per Player Character, 
  any requirements and the skills taught include: 
  CrEATING NEW COUrSES
  The Game Master should determine 
  the following: 
  •	
  What skill or skills are 
  potentially improved in the 
  course of training?
  •	
  What is the length of the 
  course? 
  •	
  What is the instructor or 
  course leader’s Teach skill? 
  •	
  What is the cost of the course? 
  As a rule of thumb, the cost 
  is five points per skill but 
  obscure or dangerous skills 
  like 
  Sorcery 
  should 
  cost 
  more and common skills like 
  Bureaucracy or a Knowledge 
  skill should cost less. 
  BudgeTS, requiSiTiOnS eTC  ChapTer eLeven
  
  110
  The Laundry
  Course
  Cost Requirements Skills
  Certificate of Weaponry Expertise (COWE)
  Level 1
  5
  None
  Any one Firearms speciality (other than Esoteric)
  Level 2
  10
  COWE1
  Any two Firearms specialities (other than Esoteric)
  Level 3
  15
  COWE2
  Any two Firearms speciality (other than Esoteric)
  Level 4
  15
  COWE3
  Any one Firearms speciality (other than Esoteric), 
  Strategy
  Level 5
  20
  COWE4
  Any three Firearms speciality (other than Esoteric), 
  Strategy
  Certificate of Weaponry Expertise, Unconventional (COWEU)
  Level 1
  10
  None
  Firearms (Esoteric)
  Level 2
  10
  COWEU1
  Firearms (Esoteric), Science (Thaumaturgy)
  Level 3
  10
  COWEU2
  Firearms (Esoteric), Knowledge (Occult)
  Level 4
  15
  COWEU3
  Firearms (Esoteric), Knowledge (Occult), Science 
  (Thaumaturgy)
  Level 5
  20
  COWEU4
  Firearms (Esoteric), Knowledge (Occult), Science 
  (Thaumaturgy), Sorcery
  Introduction to Applied Occult 
  Computing (IAOC)
  10
  None
  Computer Use (Magic), Science (Thaumaturgy)
  Advanced Occult Computing 1
  15
  IAOC
  Computer Use (Magic), Science (Thaumaturgy), 
  Sorcery.
  Advanced Occult Computing 2
  20
  AOC1
  Computer Use (Magic), Science (Thaumaturgy), 
  Sorcery
  International Relations
  5
  None
  Etiquette, Knowledge (politics)
  Orientation and Objectivity: 
  Overseas Liaison
  10
  International 
  Relations
  Bureaucracy, Etiquette, Knowledge (Politics)
  Sensitivity & Awareness
  10
  None
  Etiquette, Insight
  Basic Stealth & Evasion (BSE)
  10
  None
  Pick two: Disguise, Hide, Knowledge (Streetwise), 
  Stealth 
  Advanced Stealth & Evasion 
  (SE1)
  15
  BSE
  Pick three:   Disguise, Hide, Knowledge (Streetwise), 
  Listen, Stealth
  Expert Stealth & Evasion (SE2)
  20
  SE1
  Pick four: Disguise, Dodge, Hide, Listen, Knowledge 
  (Streetwise), Spot, Stealth
  Hostage Negotiation
  10
  None
  Insight, Persuade
  Practical Occultism
  15
  IAOC
  Computer Use (Magic), Knowledge (Occult), Sorcery
  Advanced Occultism
  15
  Practical 
  Occultism
  Pick Three: Computer Use (Magic), Cthulhu Mythos, 
  Knowledge (History), Knowledge (Occult), Linguistics, 
  Science (Thaumaturgy), Sorcery
  Emergency Field Medicine
  10
  None
  Craft (Improvised medical supplies), First Aid
  Team Building & Management
  10
  None
  Bureaucracy, Command, Persuade
  European Computer Driving 
  Licence
  5
  None
  Computer Use (Gaming)
  Media Relations  
  10
  None
  Etiquette, Knowledge (Politics), Persuade
  Esoteric History 1
  5
  None
  Knowledge (Occult)
  Esoteric History 2
  10
  EH1
  Knowledge (Folklore), Knowledge (Occult)
  Esoteric History 3
  15
  EH2
  Knowledge (Folklore), Knowledge (Occult), Sorcery
  Basic Surveillance 
  5
  None
  Disguise or Stealth
  Advanced Surveillance
  10
  Basic Surveillance
  Pick Two: Disguise, Hide, Knowledge (Streetwise), 
  Spot, Stealth, Technical Use (Surveillance)
  Expert Surveillance
  15
  Expert 
  Surveillance
  Pick Three: Disguise, Hide, Knowledge (Streetwise), 
  Spot, Stealth, Technical Use (Surveillance)
  Process Workflow Management
  10
  None
  Bureaucracy, Status
  Advanced Evasive Driving
  15
  None
  Dodge, Drive (Auto), Repair (Auto)
  
  111
  12 dIreCTory
  The Laundry is one small part of the overall security and 
  intelligence services of the United Kingdom. There are 
  other organisations, agencies, groups and TLAs that the 
  Laundry must work alongside, with, under, through or in 
  some cases despite. Half of the Administration workload 
  involves meetings with representatives of these other 
  groups. 
  In cases where an incident falls within the purview of two 
  organisations, then primacy is determined by a prearranged 
  hierarchy, which can be summarised as: the Laundry gets 
  command if: 
  (a) the other group do not want it.
  (b) the other group are not cleared for it.
  (c) there is clear evidence of extra dimensional or 
  magical activity. 
  (d) there is a clear and present shoggoth.
  (c) is the interesting one, from the perspective of Laundry 
  agents. If the Laundry suspects occult involvement – 
  say, a bunch of home-grown Al-Qaeda terrorists are 
  suspected of trying to summon up something ghastly – 
  then the Laundry has to provide strong evidence that it 
  should be given control of the investigation. In the past, 
  this has lead to clashes between the Laundry and other 
  organisations. 
  Her Majesty’s Government
  Involving civilians in Laundry matters is rarely a good idea. 
  The Laundry pays lip service to the notion of parliamentary 
  democracy but it is hard to brief MPs on the importance 
  of, say, SCORPION STARE or BLACK CODICIL without 
  a lot of blank stares and worried looks. Most people do 
  not want to know about the true nature of reality; the 
  thought that everything from lazy Sundays walking the 
  dog to the local football team to the next election to all 
  life on Earth could be washed away without warning by 
  an incomprehensible and sudden event is unthinkable to 
  them. Therefore, the Laundry operates with comparatively 
  little parliamentary oversight – it reports to the Defence 
  Committee and the Intelligence and Security Committee on 
  an irregular basis (there was a Secret Joint Select Committee 
  on Unconventional Affairs, but that last met in 1982).   
  All of these committees are buried deep in the Whitehall 
  apparatus; the average member of the Laundry will never, 
  ever attend any of these meetings. If you find yourself 
  sitting before a session of the Intelligence and Security 
  Committee, then something has gone very, very wrong.
  COBRA
  Remember: COBRA is not a bunch of international 
  megalomaniacs with improbable schemes who fight Action 
  Force (or GI Joe if you are an American). COBRA stands 
  for Cabinet Office, Briefing Room A and it is the emergency 
  co-ordination committee for the United Kingdom. The 
  makeup of COBRA depends on the crisis at hand – you will 
  always have the Prime Minister or a deputy and a couple of 
  other Ministers, plus Army chiefs, the JIC (Joint Intelligence 
  Committee) chair and whatever other representatives or 
  specialists are needed. The COBRA committee meets only 
  when something important is happening, such as strikes in 
  key industries or services, terrorist attacks, natural disasters, 
  civil unrest.
  Calling for a meeting of COBRA is only done as a last 
  resort, when a mass outbreak and considerable civilian 
  casualties are extremely likely. 
  The directory
  ‘My job, as Night Duty Officer, is to sit tight and answer the phone. In the unlikely event that it rings, I have a 
  list of numbers I can call. Most of them ring through to duty officers in other departments, but one of them calls 
  through to a special Army barracks in Hereford, another goes straight to SHAPE in Brussels—that’s NATO’s 
  European theatre command HQ—and a third dials direct to the COBRA briefing room in Downing Street. 
  Nobody in the Laundry has ever had to get the Prime Minister out of bed in the small hours, but there’s always a 
  first time: more importantly, it’s the NDO’s job to make that call if a sufficiency of shit hits the fan on his watch.’
  — Overtime
   
  ChapTer TweLve
  THE HElSINkI PrOTOCOl
  The 
  Helsinki 
  Protocol, 
  signed 
  by the Allied Powers in 1945, 
  banned the use of ‘unconventional 
  weapons’ 
  derived 
  from 
  Dho-Na 
  topology and related methods of 
  energy transference. The Helsinki 
  Protocols are why the Cold War was 
  fought primarily with the threat of 
  nuclear bombs instead of the threat 
  of Elder Gods, why magic never 
  became a tool of modern warfare, 
  why we spend billions on aircraft 
  carriers instead of two-way mass 
  transfer gates – and why we are 
  still here. Without the Helsinki 
  Protocols, there would be no chance 
  of keeping the genie in the bottle.
  
  112
  The Laundry
  Joint Intelligence Committee
  The JIC is part of the Cabinet Office and directs the various 
  secret services and intelligence agencies (DI5, DI6, GCHQ, 
  DIS and us). Each year, it drafts the Requirements and 
  Priorities for the agencies, co-ordinates joint efforts, directs 
  overall intelligence policy and advises the Prime Minister 
  and the other ministers on intelligence gathered. The 
  Laundry’s representative attends meetings of the JIC. 
  The UK Intelligence Community
  The Laundry sits awkwardly between the other intelligence 
  agencies, overlapping with each of them at times. It is 
  impossible to wholly avoid treading on toes – the Laundry’s 
  domestic investigations clash with the Security Service’s 
  counter-terrorism investigations, while our overseas offices 
  are in the same vein as the Secret Intelligence Service’s. We 
  cannot even be lumped in GCHQ as we have field agents 
  – if we just did occult SIGINT, it would be easier but the 
  Laundry needs eyes in the field as well as researchers in the 
  laboratories and officers in the offices, making lists of who 
  has been naughty and who has been summoning byakhee. 
  When dealing with other agencies, it is important to 
  represent the Laundry in a professional and competent 
  manner. While the other groups have signed Section III of 
  the Official Secrets Act and are cognisant of the existence 
  of computational demonology and associated threats, 
  individual officers may be less than co-operative due to 
  institutional rivalries, territorialism or a lack of belief in the 
  existence of Alien Space Gods. 
  The Laundry is GOLD in any situation where occult 
  weapons or technologies are implicated. Otherwise, we 
  are muscled out of the way or given a subordinate role in 
  intelligence gathering or surveillance.
  Security Service (DI5)
  Officially, it is the Security Service or Defence Intelligence 
  5 but everyone on the outside refers to it by its old name 
  of MI5. They are the UK’s main counter-terrorism and 
  counter-espionage agency, responsible for collecting 
  intelligence on domestic threats and rooting out spies. Since 
  the end of the Cold War, the organisation’s main focus has 
  shifted from counter-espionage to counter-terror, initially 
  against Irish Republicans but now also against home-grown 
  terrorists and extremist groups. DI5 maintains files on a 
  large percentage of British citizens; they are reading your 
  email and bugging your phone right now.
  The Laundry has a moderately good working relationship 
  with DI5 – any suspects who flag certain criteria (background 
  in mathematics or computing, unusual religious connections, 
  tentacles) get turned over to the Laundry for investigation. 
  DI5 Officer
  STR 11 
  CON 12 SIZ 14 
  INT 16 
  POW 10 
  DEX 12 CHA 11 EDU 16 SAN 50 
  HP 13
  Damage Bonus: +0
  Skills: Command 40%, Computer Use 30%, Demolition 
  25%, Etiquette 40%, Insight 50%, Knowledge (Law) 50%, 
  Knowledge (Politics) 65%, Knowledge (Streetwise) 40%, 
  Knowledge (Terror groups) 65%, Research 60%, Spot 
  50%, Stealth 45%, Strategy 40%, Track 40%
  Secret Intelligence Service (DI6)
  Again, it is officially DI6 but better known as MI6, home 
  of James Bond. They are the UK’s foreign intelligence 
  gathering service. 
  The rivalry between SIS and the Special Operations 
  Executive (of which the Laundry is the only surviving 
  section) continues to this day, even though this institutional 
  vendetta has lost all meaning. If there is ever an opportunity 
  to embarrass or expose the Laundry, then SIS are sure to 
  take it (and vice versa). The two organisations work poorly 
  together, to put it mildly but are obliged to co-operate for 
  overseas operations. 
  Relations between the Laundry and SIS are complicated even 
  further by the sharp divide between occult and non-occult 
  GOlD/SIlvEr/BrONZE COMMAND
  To ensure there is a clear chain 
  of command in any joint operation, 
  all 
  emergency 
  and 
  security 
  services follow the Gold/Silver/
  Bronze system. GOLD is in charge 
  of Strategic decisions, SILVER is 
  Tactical and BRONZE is Operational. 
  In general, GOLD issues command 
  remotely from their headquarters, 
  SILVER is near the incident site in 
  a command vehicle or command post 
  and BRONZE is on-site. 
  For example, if a bunch of cultists 
  screw up a summoning and you have 
  suddenly got Fire Vampires crawling 
  all over the place, then the fire 
  department might take GOLD until 
  the blaze was under control, at 
  which point it shifts to SILVER to 
  let the Laundry deal with the cult. 
  Similarly, in the Amsterdam OGRE 
  REALITY incident at the end of The 
  Atrocity Archives, the Laundry had 
  GOLD strategic command (‘close the 
  gate’), while the OCCULUS unit was 
  SILVER, making tactical decisions 
  about 
  how 
  to 
  accomplish 
  this 
  strategic goal. Individual Laundry 
  assets, 
  specifically 
  one 
  Robert 
  Howard, were very much BRONZE in 
  that case.
  
  113
  12 dIreCTory
  intelligence relations internationally. SIS and their American 
  counterparts share intelligence and co-operate extensively 
  (do not mention the Iraq War), while the Laundry and the 
  Black Chamber are antagonistic. SIS regularly complains 
  that the Laundry jeopardises its special relationship with the 
  CIA and the UK-USA Security Agreement. 
  DI6 Field Operative
  STR 14 
  CON 13 SIZ 13 
  INT 16 
  POW 14 
  DEX 10 CHA 14 EDU 16 SAN 60 
  HP 13
  Damage Bonus: +1D4
  Skills: Bargain 40%, Brawl 40%, Bureaucracy 50%, 
  Command 30%, Disguise 50%, Fast Talk 45%, Gaming 
  40%, Grapple 50%, Firearms (Handgun) 60%, Insight 
  50%, Knowledge (Espionage) 60%, Knowledge (Politics) 
  50%, Research 30%, Spot 55%, Stealth 60%.
  GCHQ
  Government 
  Communications 
  Headquarters 
  is 
  the 
  United Kingdom’s signals intelligence group, responsible 
  for intercepting and monitoring communications. They 
  have listening stations in various strategic locations and 
  are part of the ECHELON system for eavesdropping on 
  global telecommunications. GCHQ is also responsible 
  for maintaining the integrity and security of the United 
  Kingdom’s communications security, by advising and 
  auditing other departments and funding research into more 
  secure communications methods.
  As the kids say, the relationship between the Laundry and 
  GCHQ ‘is complicated’. The two groups work very well 
  together on the technical side, co-operating on applications 
  of computational demonology (‘your 256-bit key encryption is 
  unbreakable... but only in this universe! Mwhaahah!’) and security. 
  In fact, they co-operate much too well; there is a strong case 
  to be made that large chunks of the Laundry (about half of 
  R&D and parts of Admin) should be transferred to GCHQ. 
  Proponents of this claim that the remainder of the Laundry 
  would then become a specialist agency with a focus on field 
  operations and counter-cult work, perhaps attached directly 
  to DI5 instead of remaining independent. Mahogany 
  Row is determined to resist any further vivisection of the 
  Laundry’s structure (they have long cold memories of the 
  post-war gutting of SOE), so any co-operation with GCHQ 
  is fraught with tension. The orders are to work with them 
  but not too efficiently. This means throwing up bureaucratic 
  barriers and unreasonable demands at infrequent intervals 
  – anything to keep the Intelligence Select Committee from 
  thinking that the proposal sounds like a good one.
  DIS
  The Defence Intelligence Staff is part of the Ministry of 
  Defence (MOD). They collect and collate intelligence from 
  other agencies for military use and also provide intelligence 
  from a variety of sources – HUMINT on the ground, drone 
  and satellite photography, intercepted SIGINT and so on. 
  Unlike the other members of the JIC, DIS is a military 
  organisation (albeit with a considerable civilian staff). 
  ChapTer TweLve
  The direCTOry
  
  114
  The Laundry
  The Laundry and DIS have a distant but cordial relationship. 
  We do not overlap that much; you can spot a uranium 
  enrichment facility from a spy satellite but not a computer 
  science lab where some Iranian boffin is hot on the trail of 
  the Rune of Al-Sabbah. We have occasionally given them 
  something useful (remote viewing and other divination 
  magics) and warned them not to tread in certain places 
  (ancient temples wrought by no human hand are a bad 
  thing). 
  European Institutions
  These are ‘mundane’ organisations, so do not bother ranting 
  about shoggoths and computational demonology to them. 
  Instead, ask for a qualified officer who is cleared under 
  Appendix III of the Agreement of the Azores. For a more 
  detailed listing of parallel organisations to the Laundry in 
  Europe, see page 118. 
  SHAPE
  Supreme Headquarters Allied Powers Europe – the central 
  command of NATO. It is extremely rare for the Laundry 
  to interact directly with SHAPE (how often do you need 
  to call in an airstrike) but the Benthic Treaty provides the 
  necessary legal mechanisms. As with so much else in the 
  Laundry, inappropriate use of this facility will be charged 
  to your departmental budget, so if you do nuke Eastern 
  Europe, you will have a very awkward meeting with your 
  manager the next morning.
  Europol
  The European Police Force, EUROPOL is a clearing house 
  for information on criminal activity. The Laundry has access 
  to Europol files but it is often easier to go through SOCA or 
  a European partner occult agency than request information 
  from Europol directly. 
  Police and Emergency Services
  The Laundry can request help from the police and other 
  emergency services as needed. Theoretically, you are 
  supposed to go through six layers of committee and arrange 
  everything in advance but most Laundry personnel just cut 
  through the red tape by waving a warrant card, which is 
  permissible if you do not do it too often.
  Metropolitan Police
  The Metropolitan is the police force that the Laundry 
  deals with most often. The Met is London’s police (and 
  London’s weirder, per capita, than most cities) and also has 
  several specialist units that handle crime across the United 
  Kingdom. The Specialist Crime Directorate is tasked with 
  investigating serious crime that is beyond the scope of 
  individual borough stations, while the Central Operations 
  Directorate provides support and services for the Met and 
  other police forces. 
  The Laundry has access to the police CRIMINT database 
  via HOLMES2 and any reports matching certain keywords 
  (‘ritual sacrifice’, ‘radiation burns’, ‘brains exploded across 
  the floor’, ‘hideous tentacles’) are automatically flagged for 
  Laundry investigation. There are several ex-Met officers in 
  the Laundry who still have contacts at their old stations; the 
  police old boy network is still faster and more accurate than 
  any database. 
  WHO kNOWS ABOUT THE 
  lAUNDrY?
  ‘The trouble with Section Three of the Official 
  Secrets Act is that it’s an offence to know it 
  exists without having signed it — in blood. So us 
  signatories who are in theory cleared to talk about 
  such supersecret national security issues as the 
  Laundry’s tea trolley rota are in practice unable 
  to broach the topic directly. We’re supposed to 
  rely on introductions, but that breaks down 
  rapidly in the field. It’s a bit like lesbian sheep; 
  as ewes display their sexual arousal by standing 
  around waiting to be mounted, it’s hard to know 
  if somebody else is, well, you know. Cleared.’
  — The Concrete Jungle
   
  Within the government, anyone who’s 
  been briefed on the Laundry knows 
  about us, which means members of the 
  Cabinet, senior civil servants in 
  the Cabinet Office and the Ministry 
  of Defence, and whoever they got 
  drunk with in the Commons bar.
  Within the intelligence community, 
  it’s possible to find references to 
  the Laundry if you know where to 
  look, and most senior staff are 
  aware of our existence. Anyone who 
  counts has signed Section III.
  Within the police & emergency 
  services, very few people, mainly 
  senior 
  police 
  know 
  about 
  the 
  Laundry. A somewhat larger pool 
  have signed Section III and can be 
  called upon to serve as liaisons or 
  local contacts – they are cleared 
  to know that the government takes 
  an active but clandestine interest 
  in weird stuff and that there 
  is an organisation dedicated to 
  investigating said weirdness, but 
  not the exact nature of the Laundry 
  or the threat we face.
  As for tactical support – they 
  don’t ask questions.
  
  115
  12 dIreCTory
  Where necessary, the Laundry can request support from any 
  of the Metropolitan specialist units. Such requests must be 
  cleared by head office, unless there is an impending crisis 
  that mandates rapid action (i.e. if the bad guys are about 
  to summon Azathoth on top of London, then wave your 
  warrant card and get the police snipers to take them out 
  now instead of waiting on the phone – but be prepared to 
  justify your decision before the Auditors).
  Specialist Crime 
  Directorate
  Central Operations 
  Directorate
  Homicide and Serious 
  Crime (SCD-1)
  Emergency Preparedness 
  Operational Command (CO3)
  Fingerprint Services
  Central Communications 
  Command (CO10)
  Forensic Services 
  Command Unit (SCD-4)
  Public Order Operational 
  Command (CO11)
  Child Abuse 
  Investigation (SCD-5)
  Clubs and Vice (CO14)
  Economic and Specialist 
  Crime (SCD-6)
  Specialist Firearms Command 
  (CO19)
  Serious and Organised 
  Crime (SCD-7)
  Territorial Support Group 
  (CO20)
  Covert Policing/
  Intelligence (SCD-10)
  Counter Terrorism Command 
  (SO15)
  SCD-1
  Unexplained deaths and cultists go together like virgin’s 
  hearts and ritual sacrifice. The Laundry keeps a close watch 
  on SCD-1 and makes sure there is always a cleared officer on 
  every Murder Investigation Team, in case the investigation 
  turns up occult links. 
  SCD-1 Investigating Officer
  STR 12 
  CON 14 SIZ 14 
  INT 13 
  POW 13 
  DEX 10 CHA 12 EDU 16 SAN 55 
  HP 14
  Damage Bonus: +0
  Skills: Brawl 40%, Bureaucracy 40%, Command 30%, 
  Insight 55%, Knowledge (Sreetwise) 60%, Medicine 
  (Frensics) 40%, Research 45%, Sense 50%, Spot 50%, 
  Track 60%.
  SCD-10
  SCD-10 provides surveillance teams and undercover officers 
  to the Metropolitan Police and other police forces, including 
  the Laundry when necessary. A surveillance team can be on 
  site anywhere in London within 90 minutes. Again, where 
  possible, the Laundry works with officers who have already 
  signed Section III but this is not always an option. 
  SCD-10 Techie
  STR 8 
  CON 12 SIZ 10 
  INT 14 
  POW 12
  DEX 10 CHA 15 EDU 14 SAN 50 
  HP 11
  Skills: Bureaucracy 30%, Climb 60%, Computer Use 
  (Various) 50%, Disguise 70%, Fast Talk 60%, Fine 
  Manipulation 55%, Hide 55%, Spot 40%, Stealth 55%, 
  Technical Use (Surveillance) 65%
  CO3
  CO3 has prepared a number of fake incidents that can 
  be used as cover for Laundry operations. All these false 
  incidents result in the evacuation of the area and give 
  plausible deniability for any alien entities or gratuitous 
  sorcery. There is the ever-popular ‘toxic chemical spill’, the 
  ‘terrorist threat leading to public hysteria’, ‘mass heatstroke’ 
  and ‘flash mob gone wrong’. Any one of these simulated 
  disasters can be put into play within a few hours. 
  CO3 is also involved in preparing for CASE NIGHTMARE 
  GREEN with the Laundry and the Civil Contingencies 
  Secretariat. Early models are not encouraging; even with 
  SCORPION STARE technology, the most likely result is 
  mass demonic possession during the early stages of the 
  conjunction, making a successful transit of the danger zone 
  extremely unlikely. 
  CO3 Officer
  STR 10 
  CON 13 SIZ 16 
  INT 15 
  POW 11 
  DEX 9 
  CHA 11 EDU 14 SAN 50 
  HP 15
  Skills: Bureaucracy 50%, Brawl 45%, Command 55%, 
  Demolition 40%, Fast Talk 55%, First Aid 40%, Insight 
  60%, Medicine (Toxicology) 30%, Persuade 40%, Strategy 70%.
  ChapTer TweLve
  The direCTOry
  
  116
  The Laundry
  CO19
  The Specialist Firearms Command trains the Metropolitan’s 
  Authorised Firearms Officers and also maintains tactical 
  response teams of Specialised Firearms Officers. SFOs 
  have access to a range of specialist firearms, such as sniper 
  rifles (H&KG3K), breaching shotguns (Benelli M3 Super 
  90) and submachine guns. CO19 elements can be called in 
  to support Laundry operations where necessary, although 
  the use of SAS21 is preferred (see page 116) if time permits.
  CO19 Sniper
  STR 12 
  CON 15 SIZ 11 
  INT 14 
  POW 10 
  DEX 15 CHA 10 EDU 16 SAN 40 
  HP 13
  Damage Bonus: +1D4
  Armour: Ballistic Vest (4/8 vs firearms)
  Weapons: Glock 17 handgun 60%, damage 1D10; 
  H&KG3K Sniper Rifle 65%, damage 2D6+4
  Skills: Brawl 45%, Climb 65%, Command 40%, Hide 
  55%, Spot 55%, Stealth 55%, Strategy 60%.
  CO20
  The Territorial Support Group is used for riot control, public 
  order containment and disaster management. They can be 
  used by the Laundry to deal with crowd control. CO20 also 
  has a CBRNO (Chemical, Biological, Radiological, Nuclear, 
  Occult) team trained in dealing with the aftermath of such 
  attacks.
  CO20 Rescuer
  STR 15 
  CON 14 SIZ 13 
  INT 12 
   POW 13 
  DEX 10 CHA 13 EDU 17 SAN 50 
   HP 14
  Damage Bonus: +1D4
  Armour: NBC Suit
  Skills: Brawl 50%, Command 40%, Demolition 50%, Fine 
  Manipulation 30%, First Aid 60%, Grapple 50%, Listen 
  55%, Persuade 45%, Science (Chemistry) 65%, Strategy 
  40%
  SO15
  The Counter Terrorism Command works closely with the 
  Laundry to identify terror threats that may be willing to 
  use occult methods. The portability and concealed nature 
  of computational demonology, coupled with its potential 
  extreme effectiveness makes it ideal for use by terrorists. 
  Predictions show an extremely high risk of a terror attack 
  using summoned possessor entities or unconventional 
  weapons within the next five years, which would be alarming 
  if it were not for the upcoming apocalypse. The thought of 
  Cthulhu rising rather overshadows, no pun intended, the 
  threat of some Jihadist with a laptop and a rudimentary 
  summoning grid. 
  SO15 Agent
  STR 12 
  CON 14 SIZ 10 
  INT 16 
  POW 13 
  DEX 11 CHA 10 EDU 16 SAN 55 
  HP 12
  Skills: Appraise 40%, Bureaucracy 45%, Command 40%, 
  Computer Use (Hacking) 40%, Demolition 30%, Insight 
  55%, Knowledge (Espionage) 50%, Knowledge (Politics) 
  40%, Knowledge (Terror groups) 65%, Language (Various) 
  50%, Research 45%, Strategy 40%, Track 40%
  Civil Nuclear Police
  The Civil Nuclear Police are one of the more obscure 
  branches of Her Majesty’s Surveillance State; they are in 
  charge of safeguarding the transport of civilian nuclear 
  materials such as reactor fuel and radioactive waste. They are 
  also regularly used as a false front for Laundry operations. 
  The CNP are perfect as monster-control cover – they are 
  allowed to carry firearms, they have all sorts of strange 
  gadgets and no-one wants to ask too many questions to 
  the man in the CNBC suit with the clicking counter (even 
  though it is a thaum reader and not a Geiger counter). 
  All CNP officers have signed Section III. 
  Other Police Forces
  Most regional police forces have a few Inspector-rank or 
  higher officers who have signed the OSA(3) and are at least 
  tangentially aware of the existence of the Laundry. It can 
  take hours or days to get one of them on the phone, so 
  for minor requests (access to police files, five minutes with 
  a suspect, do not bother investigating reports of strange 
  lights) it is easier to wave a warrant card and claim to be 
  from New Scotland Yard or the Tax Office.
  Local Police Officer
  STR 13 
  CON 11 SIZ 14 
  INT 12 
  POW 10 
  DEX 10 CHA 13 EDU 15 SAN 50 
  HP 13
  Damage Bonus: +0
  Weapons: Truncheon 40%, damage 1d4
  Skills: Brawl 40%, Bureaucracy 30%, Command 25%, 
  Etiquette 30%, Grapple 40%, Insight 45%, Knowledge 
  (Law) 40%, Knowledge (Local area) 55%, Spot 50%.
  21 Special Air Service Regiment (Artists) 
  (Reserve)
  The Artists Rifles began as a volunteer regiment back in 
  the Napoleonic Wars, organised by an art student named 
  Edward Sterling, hence the name. The regiment served with 
  distinction in various forms over the years and eventually 
  became the core of the British special forces, the SAS. 
  There are three SAS regiments, 21 SAS, 22 SAS and 23 SAS 
  but 21 and 23 are part of the Territorial Army while 22 SAS 
  is part of the regular army.
  
  117
  12 dIreCTory
  Do not mistake 21 SAS for a bunch of weekend warriors, 
  though. They may have full-time civilian or rear-echelon 
  jobs, but they are all highly trained special forces who know 
  57 ways to kill you with a pencil (but they are more likely 
  to use an MP5). During the Cold War, their remit was to 
  remain behind and sow chaos in the event of invasion but 
  they have also been dropped into every godforsaken desert, 
  swamp, jungle and urban hellhole you care to mention and 
  a few you probably do not know about.
  These days, elements of 21 SAS are loosely attached to 
  the Laundry. We call them in when we need something 
  ventilated or when, say, we have got an open gate to a 
  parallel universe and someone has got to stick their head 
  through it. Several members – Alan Barnes, for example – 
  are Laundry employees who train with 21 SAS at weekends. 
  21 SAS Soldier
  STR 15 
  CON 16 SIZ 14 
  INT 13 
  POW 12 
  DEX 14 CHA 11 EDU 16 SAN 50 
  HP 14
  Damage Bonus: +1d4
  Weapons: H&KMP5 65%, damage 1d10
  Artefacts: Class Three Ward, Charm of Defensive 
  Binding (Class Two)
  Skills: Artillery (Spotting) 40%, Brawl 65%, Climb 
  70%, Command 55%, Demolition 50%, Heavy Weapon 
  (Grenade launcher) 55%, Hide 60%, Stealth 65%, Strategy 
  55%, Track 50%
  THE lAUNDrY AND THE lAW
  Section III covers a multitude of 
  sins. If a Laundry officer breaks 
  the law it is unlikely ever to come 
  to a public trial, but officers must 
  still be aware of their rights and 
  obligations. You are not James Bond 
  and do not have a licence to kill.
  Surveillance: To obtain a phone 
  wiretap, plant a listening device 
  or electronically spy on a target, 
  the Laundry needs permission from 
  the Home Office; in practise, such 
  permission is given freely as long 
  as there is evidence that the 
  target is a valid suspect. Britain 
  is rapidly becoming a surveillance 
  state, with more security cameras 
  per head of population than anywhere 
  else in the world and wiretaps 
  are becoming equally ubiquitous. 
  Information from a phone tap cannot 
  be used in court, but that is rarely 
  a concern for the Laundry.
  Breaking and Entering: Permitted 
  only when absolutely necessary. 
  If you ask for permission before 
  breaking in, then the Laundry will 
  protect you. If you fail to ask 
  permission and get caught, then 
  they will still protect you, but 
  the Auditors will feast on your 
  liver and entrails. 
  Search Warrants: A warrant for 
  ‘intrusive surveillance’ must be 
  obtained from the Home Office. 
  Assault and Restraint: Physical 
  force may be used only as a last 
  resort in cases of self-defence or 
  when there is a clear and present 
  danger. 
  Deadly Force: Not permitted – at 
  least, certainly not within the 
  United 
  Kingdom. 
  Theoretically, 
  under the 1994 Intelligence Services 
  Act, the Laundry could request 
  permission to kill a target outside 
  of the UK, but such permission is 
  unlikely to be granted.
  ChapTer TweLve
  The direCTOry
  
  118
  The Laundry
  The Laundry is not the only occult intelligence/research/
  suppression organisation out there. Most First World (a nice, 
  retro turn of phrase) nations have had something analogous 
  to the Laundry since WWII or even earlier. Half the world is 
  desperately trying to keep a lid on the Pandora’s Box that is 
  the Dee-Turing Theorem and the rest are trying to find their 
  own keys to the ultimate gate. Occult proliferation is like 
  nuclear weapons, with the added threat that some tin pot 
  little African dictator might make the Cult of the Bloody 
  Tongue into his state religion or find a buried ANNING 
  BLUE SKULL gate into the Dark Anthropic Zone. 
  The OCCINTEL community is a curious one. While all 
  the spookshows have their own long-term goals that may 
  conflict with those of other agencies, we are mostly on 
  the same side. The Laundry may tangle with Thirteenth 
  Directorate agents in Marrakesh if both sides are after the 
  Shining Trapezohedron or the Hungarian Necronomicon but 
  everyone has got a vested interest in preserving the status 
  quo. No-one wants a possession epidemic and no-one 
  wants some crazy alien-worshipping death cult to get their 
  hands on the backdoor codes to reality. Everyone should be 
  getting ready for the years to come.
  Furthermore, none of the major players want open occult 
  warfare. The Dr Strangelovecraft days where generals 
  dreamed of turning the Elder Gods on their enemies and 
  opening gates to Hell over Moscow are long gone; even the 
  Black Chamber is unwilling to fully exploit certain aspects 
  and entities. The patina of corruption and madness cannot 
  be removed, even if you strip away the occult baroque 
  and replace it with bland codewords. Call them Class 
  IV Possessor entities or Eaters of Souls, call it quantum 
  foaming above the Planck scale or Azathoth, call it CASE 
  NIGHTMARE GREEN or the end of the world but it is 
  still wrong by any measure of morality or sanity. When it 
  comes down to it, all humanity is on the same side against 
  them. 
  Or so we hope, anyway. 
  There is an element of the Prisoner’s Dilemma to this. While 
  most cultists are idiots, there are a few who have figured out 
  ways to trade worship for power. One way to survive CASE 
  NIGHTMARE GREEN might be to shack up with one of 
  the first Old Ones to awaken, to bind yourself to the service 
  of an alien god and offer him the rest of humanity as a 
  sacrifice. If you pick the right alien god and you are lucky, 
  maybe you get to bring your nation or just yourself through 
  the conjunction unscathed. The Laundry does not currently 
  believe that any of the other major players have turned to 
  the dark side, but it is always a possibility. 
  Our European Partners
  ‘With only a decade to go until the omega conjunction 
  – the period of greatest risk during NIGHTMARE 
  GREEN, when the stars are right – everyone in Europe 
  is busy oiling the gears and wheels of our occult defence 
  machinery. Nobody wants their neighbours to succumb 
  to a flux of green, gibbering brain-eaters, after all; it 
  tends to lower real estate values.’ 
  — The Jennifer Morgue
  The secret Second Treaty of Nice mandated that all 
  European Union member states establish an unconventional 
  weapon control policy, that we share information on threats 
  and significant discoveries and that all states sign the Benthic 
  Treaty. There is the Joint Intergovernmental Frameword 
  on Cosmological Incursions, which Brussels bureaucrats 
  would love to expand into their proposed EUCLID agency 
  (European Union Central Locus for Incursion Defence) but 
  existing supernatural bargains and treaties have scuppered 
  this plan, at least until the lawyers work out a way to 
  harmonise EU law and the Mandate of Enoch. 
  Algemene Inlichtingen- en Veiligheidsdienst 
  (AIVD), Unit G6
  The Dutch General Intelligence and Security Service 
  operates a counter-occult department as part of their 
  normal operations (unlike most other secret services, which 
  prefer to hive their occult operations off into some dank 
  corner of the bureaucracy). The AIVD is renowned for 
  its efficiency and is one of the primary movers behind the 
  EUCLID program. 
  Direction 
  Centrale 
  de 
  la 
  Sécuritié 
  Extraordinare (DCRI) 
  The French counter-occult agency has a budget other groups 
  can only dream of and access to occult resources that even 
  the Black Chamber would sell their own grandmothers to 
  obtain. Unfortunately, it is also bitterly divided against itself 
  – there are more power plays and internal schisms than any 
  outsider can possibly keep track of and seems to produce 
  an endless number of cynical Gallic sorcerers who mutter 
  about revenge or squamous things between drags on their 
  enchanted endless Gauloises. The DCRI also distrusts the 
  Laundry; institutionalised paranoia on both sides means 
  that Joint Framework meetings chaired by either party get 
  torpedoed by the other.  
  Counterparts 
  & Other agencies
  
  119
  13 CounTerParTS
  ChapTer ThirTeen
  The DCRI denies that it operates an ‘occult foreign legion’ 
  and certainly denies that it has at any point actively recruited 
  non-human assets or ex-cultists. 
  Gehime Sicherhei Abteilung (GSA)
  After WWII, Germany became an occult demilitarised 
  zone. The Nazi magical war machine was dismantled, their 
  demons and summoning grids grounded and exorcised and 
  their sorcerers executed or given exciting new careers in the 
  Black Chamber. A joint allied security force was formed 
  to purge any surviving occult threats, such as Werewolf 
  teams (special forces left behind to resist occupation 
  forces using conventional means) or resuscitated casualties 
  (zombies created using the West-Dipple Formula). In 1955, 
  this security force was officially handed over to the West 
  German government and was nicknamed the ‘Faust Force’. 
  Although the GSA’s understanding of computational 
  demonology was handicapped by the loss of a whole 
  generation of researchers and discoveries, they have made 
  great strides since the 1970s and now provide wards and 
  countermagics for several other state agencies. Vorsprung 
  durch zauberei. 
  The East Germans had their own parallel organisation 
  under the Stasi, which was disbanded after unification. The 
  records of the Stati Special Administration Department 
  were partially destroyed before they could be acquired by 
  the GSA and there are persistent rumours that the Special 
  Administration Department survives in some illegal 
  capacity. 
  Dipartimento delle Informazioni per 
  la Sicurezza (DIS), Office of  Special 
  Investigations
  The Italian OCCINTEL scene was notoriously balkanised; 
  up until recently, there were four official departments with 
  counter-occult responsibilities and at least another five 
  semi-official groups. The new DIS section claims to have 
  brought everything under one roof, although there are 
  rumours of internal disputes and spells being flung around 
  the office. Everyone is waiting with a mixture of dread or 
  glee for the next occasion when the Italians get to chair the 
  Joint Framework meetings. It promises to be interesting.
  Garda Unit for the Bizarre and 
  Unprecedented (GUBU)
  The Irish counter-occult group is part of the police force 
  (garda siochana). The GUBU unit dates back to 1923, when 
  the keys to the Red Room in Dublin Castle were handed 
  over to the Irish government. The Red Room contained 
  documents and files relating to occult phenomena in Ireland 
  (irritatingly, the Laundry possesses a full index to Red Room 
  documents but not the actual documents themselves). 
  GUBU is commanded by an Assistant Commissioner and is 
  supported by an occult research group currently operating 
  out of the Science Department in University College Cork. 
  Joint Portuguese Counter-Occult Group 
  (JPCOG)
  The Portuguese equivalent of the Laundry was part of 
  the Portuguese state police from 1945 until 1974. During 
  the Carnation Revolution in ‘74, when the Portuguese 
  military overthrew the Estado Novo dictatorship, the old 
  PIDE counter-occult group was quietly removed by the 
  Black Chamber. Why? Because Portugal owns the Azores 
  and the Benthic Treaty rounds are held at the Azores. The 
  Black Chamber wanted to make sure that Round Three of 
  human/BLUE HADES relations went according to plan. 
  (Also not part of the plan: President Salazar’s sponsoring 
  of occult experiments designed to reconcile his brand of 
  conservative Catholicism with the Dee-Turing Theorem, 
  including ‘angel’ summoning in breach of the Helsinki 
  Protocol.)
  After removing the occult elements of PIDE, the Black 
  Chamber, the Laundry and DCRI jointly sponsored a 
  replacement organisation, JPCOG, to ensure the occult 
  security of Portugal. JPCOG still technically exists, although 
  GlADIO AND THE 
  STAY-BEHIND NETWOrkS
  The Stay-Behind program was a 
  network of armed cells across 
  Europe set up to provide armed 
  guerrilla resistance in case the 
  Soviet tanks started rolling west 
  again. There were networks in most 
  European countries – the whole 
  operation is best known as GLADIO, 
  after the Italian branch. 
  The 
  Stay-Behind 
  program 
  was 
  orchestrated by the CIA and the SIS, 
  but many of the British organisers 
  were ex-SOE who knew about the 
  Laundry and were sympathetic to 
  counter-occult operations. Through 
  the 
  Stay-Behind 
  program, 
  the 
  Laundry was able to train suitable 
  agents in other countries to watch 
  for signs of supernatural activity 
  and potential threats. Some of 
  these agents went on to form Laundry 
  counterparts.
  To this day, there are Stay-Behind 
  cells operating, passing on secret 
  information to the Laundry. In the 
  event of CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN, 
  these cells will provide a parallel 
  organisation to the existing Joint 
  Intergovernmental 
  Framework, 
  giving humanity a chance to survive 
  even if all national governments 
  collapse or are devoured.
  COunTerparTS eTC...
  
  120
  The Laundry
  it is staffed almost entirely by Portuguese nationals and 
  reports to the national government. The Black Chamber 
  keeps the organisation going to give it a channel into 
  European policy, although the Second Treaty of Nice calls 
  for the establishment of an independent Portuguese agency 
  after the fifth Benthic Treaty round of talks. Laundry 
  agents may be seconded to JPCOG on occasion, to provide 
  technical or specialist support.  
  National Countersubversive Organisation 
  (OCN), Section Five
  Inevitably nicknamed the Spanish Inquisition, the National 
  Countersubversive Organisation’s Section Five is the only 
  surviving remnant of a Franco-era state intelligence agency 
  (the Laundry survived the dismemberment of SOE – 
  occult groups are like bureaucratic cockroaches). Section 
  Five has its own Dunwich equivalent down in Valencia and 
  it is hinted that they have got more BLUE HADES derived-
  technology (and what they gave up to get Deep One co-
  operation is a worryingly unanswered question).
   
  P27/Service for Analysis and Prevention 
  (DAP) 
  There are two agencies in Switzerland. P27 was part of the 
  Swiss GLADIO project – a Laundry-backed spy network 
  with occult ties. For much of the 20th Century, Switzerland 
  was a hotbed of occultism – the Swiss acquired several 
  important relics after the Second World War from unclaimed 
  safety deposit boxes and they have also given legal cover 
  to non-human entities in the past; there is more than one 
  creature out there with a Swiss passport and glowing worms 
  in its eyes. P27 tried to keep tabs on potential threats, but 
  never really managed to get that deep into the other agency, 
  now part of DAP. P27 was mostly rolled up in the mid-90s, 
  although there are still operational cells in outlying cantons.
  DAP is the active front for the main Swiss counter-occult 
  group. Their current main priority is maintaining operational 
  security at CERN.
  UK-USA Pact Members
  ‘My colleagues in GCHQ listen in on domestic US 
  phone calls, compile logs, and pass them across the desk 
  to their NSA liaisons – who are forbidden by charter 
  from spying on domestic US territory. In return, the 
  NSA Echelon listening posts give GCHQ a plausibly 
  deniable way of monitoring every phone conversation 
  in Western Europe – after all, they’re not actually 
  listening; they’re just reading transcripts prepared by 
  someone else, aren’t they?’
  ‘But in the twilight world of occult intelligence, we 
  aren’t allowed to cooperate overtly.’
  — The Atrocity Archives
  The UK-USA Security Agreement provides for the sharing 
  of signals intelligence between its signatories – the UK, 
  United States, Australia, Canada and New Zealand. It has 
  been in place since 1945 and is the foundation for world-
  wide intercept networks like ECHELON. In 1958, the 
  Laundry offered to extend this agreement to cover occult 
  intelligence but the USA refused. The other pact members, 
  however, agreed to a limited exchange of information. 
  We do not know if they have similar arrangements with 
  the USA, but it is likely that the Black Chamber knows 
  everything anyway.
  The Black Chamber (USA)
  There is the visible universe and there is dark matter. 
  Something like 93% of the material universe is undetectable. 
  It is just out there, lurking in the shadows of the cosmos. If 
  the post-war occult community is the visible universe, then 
  the Black Chamber is dark matter. 
  CErN
  Pure science is all well and good 
  but you do not spend billions of 
  euros flinging protons around Geneva 
  without 
  expecting 
  some 
  return. 
  Ever since the first Council on 
  Dimensional Security in 1953, the 
  CERN complex has been the heart 
  of 
  high-energy 
  occult 
  research 
  in Europe. You can use a particle 
  accelerator to probe the structure 
  of subatomic particles or you can 
  stick a black goat in the circuit, 
  align it with the telluric currents 
  and use it as the mother of all 
  summoning grids.
  Computational demonology is also 
  studied at CERN. The first hypertext 
  systems used there were for cross-
  referencing the Necronomicon. 
  The current plan is to configure the 
  LHC as a mass exorcism grid, in the 
  hope of reducing thaumic flux across 
  Europe and delaying the onset of 
  CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN until other 
  occult and conventional defences 
  are in place. The backup plan, if 
  that fails, is to flip it around, 
  set it up as a protective pentacle 
  and then crowd as many people into 
  the protected zone to wait out the 
  horror. There are secret bunkers 
  located within the loop of the LHC 
  that can hold tens of thousands of 
  survivors.
  
  121
  13 CounTerParTS
  What is known about the Black Chamber could be written 
  on the back of a postcard and still leave room for a nice 
  message to Aunt Mabel, but for what it is worth: there was 
  another organisation called the Black Chamber or MI-8, 
  which operated in the United States from 1913 to 1929. It 
  specialised in cryptanalysis, was jointly funded by the State 
  Department and the Army and was famously closed down 
  by Secretary of State Henry L. Stimson because ‘gentlemen 
  do not read each other’s mail’. That Black Chamber may or 
  may not be related to the current entity known by that name.
  Of the signatories to the Helsinki Protocol, the United 
  States took the lead in occult research. They got a head 
  start with Tesla and the Innsmouth raids of 1927, so they 
  hit the ground running once they had the Turing Theorem 
  (assuming they did not have it already – the Gilman papers 
  released by Miskatonic University in ‘72 suggest that they 
  had the mathematical underpinnings for exiting our Calabi-
  Yau manifold in the mid-30s). 
  After the war, the Black Chamber – at least, we assume it 
  was the Black Chamber – spent billions on acquiring occult 
  assets. They certainly had teams excavating the ANNING 
  BLUE SKULL civilisation in Antarctica by ‘48 as part of 
  HIGHJUMP, successfully invoked Yog-Sothoth in ‘51 and 
  were operating mass-transfer gates to the dark side of the 
  Moon two years before Neil Armstrong took his one small 
  step. After that, they got really weird.
  It is said that the Black Chamber specialises in taking the 
  human out of ‘human intelligence’. Their field teams are 
  usually composed of lobotomised goons or reanimated 
  corpses, controlled by agents several hundred miles away in 
  a secure bunker. They routinely deploy multiple-possessor 
  entities bound with geas spells, which is about as safe as 
  putting a tuxedo on a nuclear bomb and calling it a spy. They 
  have got golems, vat-grown clones made from essential salt 
  samples, mind-jumping incantations and reverse-engineered 
  OLD DREAMER and PLUTO KOBOLD technology 
  captured from Australia and near orbit, respectively – and 
  that is just the stuff we think we know about.
  For most of the Cold War, the Black Chamber was locked 
  in what it thought was a struggle to the death with the 
  Soviets, until it became clear that the enemy was 15 years 
  behind and had no chance of catching up. If you are a 
  conspiracy theorist, you can speculate about why there 
  has been comparatively little involvement by the Black 
  Chamber in recent world events – their seers should have 
  spotted 9/11, Bin Laden should have been taken out years 
  ago by a divination-guided cruise missile or a Dimensional 
  Shambler and what is really going on in Iraq anyway? (The 
  prosaic answers: they did spot 9/11 coming, but the usual 
  bureaucratic snafus meant that the warnings were ignored, 
  Al-Qaeda have their own occult countermeasures and 
  Bin Laden’s dead already anyway, some senior figures in 
  government have religious issues with American demon-
  summoning and Iraq’s mostly about oil – finding Irem, the 
  City of Pillars said to be the seat of the Cthulhu cult is a 
  secondary objective.)
  The Chamber has a worryingly antagonistic attitude to 
  the other inhabitants of Earth – they signed the Benthic 
  Treaty only after a lot of persuasion and they have pushed 
  back against BLUE HADES ever since (see JENNIFER 
  MORGUE, for example). These are the same people who 
  thought that a nuclear war was winnable, so it is possible 
  that they are equally misguided when it comes to a clash 
  between a superpower and an undersea hyperpower.
  Canadian Secret Unconventional Intelligence 
  Service (CSUIS)
  CSUIS is a minor player in the international occult scene, 
  rarely operating outside Canada’s borders. Either they are 
  just keeping their heads down until stars come right or they 
  are busy making long range expeditions into the hollow 
  world through the north polar entrance. (Short version: 
  Symmes was wrong about Earth being hollow, but there 
  are vast tunnel networks down there and one of the main 
  entrances is in the frozen north.)
  Australian Security Intelligence Organisation 
  (ASIO), South Australia Office
  A hundred million years ago, the Australian continent 
  was home to a non-human civilisation, codenamed OLD 
  DREAMER. They built to last – the most enduring human 
  monument would be unrecognisable dust after 10,000 years 
  but we found relics of the Australian civilisation 10,000 
  times older than that. OLD DREAMER reaches out to us 
  out of deep time.
  ChapTer ThirTeen
  COunTerparTS eTC...
  
  122
  The Laundry
  ASIO’s South Australia office oversees the continuing 
  excavation, investigating and cataloguing of OLD 
  DREAMER sites. Australia has a statistically significant low 
  number of possession incidents and several forms of Dho-
  Na invocation simply do not work within roughly 2,000 
  kilometres of the centre of the continent. 
   
  Domestic and External Security Group 
  (DESG)
  New Zealand’s Domestic and External Security Group 
  provides occult counter-intelligence and counter-possession 
  services. The Laundry partners with the DESG to run a 
  secret naval operation out of Wellington, to study deep-
  ocean structures and the Pacific abyssal plain (while fully 
  observing all terms and conditions of the Benthic Treaty, 
  please do not eat HMS Astute). 
  The Old Bad Guys
  The Thirteenth Directorate
  The Soviets had trouble with the basic principles of sorcery 
  – when your state policy rejects Invisible Sky Daddies of all 
  flavours, it is hard to accept 2+2=Tentacled Invisible Sky 
  Bastard. They moved into what they termed ‘psychotronics’ 
  in the late ‘50s but they were never as dangerous as the west 
  feared. The Laundry spent the Cold War convinced that 
  the Soviets were on the verge of cracking the Incantation 
  of Yaddith; in fact, they were always 10 years behind us in 
  several key sectors. It was not for lack of trying, though – 
  Stalin’s gulags provided ample subjects for experimentation. 
  Laundry Kreminologists suspect that Stalin’s supposed 
  cerebral haemorrhage and ‘death’ in 1953 was cover for a 
  failed apotheosis ritual. We know Stalin was still around up 
  until 1956 at least, when Krushchev said ‘it is impermissible 
  and foreign to the spirit of  Marxism-Leninism to elevate one person, to 
  transform him into a superman possessing supernatural characteristics 
  akin to those of  a god’, which translates as ‘Uncle Joe is staying 
  dead this time.’
  Possibly as a reaction to this, the KGB’s Thirteenth 
  Directorate was established in the 1960s to provide 
  OCCINTEL control and security for the USSR. Following 
  the collapse of the Soviet state and the restructuring of the 
  KGB into the FSB (Federal Security Service), it is believed 
  that the Thirteenth Directorate was spun off into an 
  independent agency. The primary purpose of the Thirteenth 
  Directorate remains similar to that of the Laundry – ensure 
  that supernatural forces are contained and prepare the 
  Russian Federation for the upcoming conjunction. 
  The Directorate has a reputation for old-school occultism. 
  Instead of using modern computational demonology and 
  standardised wards, they prefer to actually fling spells and 
  use ancient talismans salvaged from some nameless tomb 
  in the Urals. The Directorate’s fabled occult library is said 
  to be the biggest collection in the world, making the Stacks 
  look like a hall closet; the Orne library at Miskatonic is a sad 
  little bookshelf by comparison. 
  Ministry of  State Security, The Nameless 
  Bureau
  The Chinese Ministry of State security is the biggest 
  intelligence-gathering apparatus in the world, although 
  they prefer to cast their nets wide and shallow instead of 
  cultivating deep-cover agents. The MSS sucks up intelligence 
  from overseas students, academics, computer hackers and 
  foreign and domestic media, then collates it. 
  Their occult section, referred to as the Nameless Bureau, is 
  catching up rapidly with the Black Chamber in the use of 
  non-human agents. MSSNB agents are scouring the globe 
  for occult assets; the speculation that the Plateau of Leng 
  is at least sometimes co-existent with the Himalayas puts 
  a sinister spin on the People’s Republic activities in Tibet. 
  The Chinese government has always taken the long view 
  and with more than a billion people to shepherd through 
  CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN, they are expected to take 
  extreme measures when the time for action comes. Getting 
  hard intelligence on the MSSNB’s plans is a high priority for 
  the Laundry.
  The New Bad Guys
  ‘Bad’ is relative, of course. You can be a thoroughly 
  despicable human being – torturing puppies, acting 
  contrary to the interests of the Western Military-Industrial-
  Entertainment Complex, sticking anthrax in envelopes, 
  jumping the queue at the post office – without being of 
  concern to the Laundry. There are other, better-funded, 
  agencies who deal with merely human threats. 
  The danger comes when you add computational 
  demonology to an already unstable geopolitical situation. 
  The occult is the great leveller – more power than a nuclear 
  bomb and potentially easier to obtain. Deriving even the 
  more basic elements of demonology requires hairy high-
  level mathematics and very smart people in lab coats but it 
  is possible to get lucky or to take a short-cut through some 
  old grimoire. Sanctions and spy drones cannot stop sorcery. 
  Preventing the use of magic against British interests is part 
  of the Laundry’s brief.
  Jihaz Al-Mukhabarat Al-A’Ma/Iraqi 
  Intelligence Service
  This was the old Iraqi state intelligence service, before 
  OPERATION IRAQI FREEDOM remodelled most of 
  Baghdad and the Black Chamber brainsucked them. The 
  Laundry had its own run-in with the Mukhabarat (OGRE 
  REALITY) before that; they had succeeded in making 
  contact with a Class Five entity that had devoured all the 
  energy in a parallel universe and was hoping to relocate to 
  ours. The OGRE REALITY incident illustrates the danger 
  
  123
  13 CounTerParTS
  of occult proliferation – the Mukhabarat had nothing 
  more than simple invocations but they invoked something 
  they could not put down. There are no minor threats, 
  only immediate and impending ones. Any organisation 
  or individual who practises magic without the proper 
  knowledge and safety procedures is putting everyone on 
  Earth at risk.
  VEVAK/Ministry of  Intelligence and 
  National Security
  The Iranian intelligence connection to the occult is disputed; 
  previously, it was thought that the Ayatollah had banned any 
  research that might lead to computational demonology but 
  it is now believed that elements of VEVAK are working to 
  close the gap. Predictive Branch believes that the Iranians 
  have already developed class three summoning grids and 
  that escalation to class four entities and the Rune of Al-
  Sabbah is inevitable. Meanwhile, they have started digging 
  in the desert near Pasargadae again and the Sivand dam may 
  be providing cover for an occult research facility in that area. 
  If VEVAK is involved in occultism, it represents a major 
  shift in their policy. While the old SAVAK organisation was 
  definitely pursuing demonology, their ranks were purged of 
  sorcerers after the Iranian Revolution in 1979.
  Research Department for External 
  Intelligence (RDEI), North Korea
  North Korea is virtually impenetrable to conventional 
  intelligence, and occult intelligence does not fare much 
  better. The RDEI are known to have a fifth section 
  dedicated to OCCINTEL, concentrating on necromancy 
  – the ‘March of Tribulation’ was caused by the fall of the 
  Soviet Union and flooding but it also provided a thaumic 
  reservoir of millions of souls. If the RDEI tapped even 
  a fraction of this, they could have invoked even a Class 
  Five entity. The Cult of the Bloated Woman is known to 
  have agents in Korea; it is possible that senior members 
  of the Central Committee Secretariat are cultists or even 
  possession vectors for such a creature. The Dear Leader is 
  certainly using a Level Two mass glamour to maintain his 
  cult of personality. 
  ChapTer ThirTeen
  COunTerparTS eTC...
  Boss - the description of the Black Chamber doesn’t include any information from agent randoM’s 
  debriefing, so whoever wrote this isn’t on the BeaCon hILL distribution list. There’s nothing about 
  their remote-viewing labs in amherst, or haarP2, or the Big dig in Caddo County, oklahoma. It 
  doesn’t even mention the uSS eldridge, although that’s been in the public domain for decades. This whole 
  thing could be a BC disinformation packet – ‘printed in america’, like it says on the front page...
  
  124
  The Laundry
  Magic does not have much of anything to do with wands, 
  brooms or pointy hats, although there is nothing to prevent 
  a magician from wearing a pointy hat if they are so-inclined. 
  Instead, magic is the ability to directly affect the fabric of our 
  own reality or even the fabric of other realities. Performing 
  magic also always requires computation of some sort. This 
  computation can be performed by some ancient weirdo 
  playing with magic squares or manipulating complex 
  symbols or it can be performed by some modern weirdo of 
  the type we commonly call geeks, using a cheap netbook, 
  a massively parallel supercomputer or even a smartphone. 
  Someone sufficiently crazy or desperate can even perform 
  these calculations solely in their brain, although many people 
  who try this never perform magic or much of anything else 
  beyond advanced drooling, ever again. 
  Regardless of how the computation is performed, the 
  result is the same. Mathematics does not just represent the 
  structure of reality; it actually is the structure of reality. 
  When you perform sufficiently complex calculations or 
  symbol manipulations of just the right type, the entire 
  multiverse responds to them. This response can be anything 
  from making you temporarily invisible, to providing you 
  with information about a distant location, to opening a 
  hole in the fabric of space and letting all manner of foul 
  and hungry entities from another universe into our own. 
  Unfortunately, the later sort of result is often easier than 
  either of the first two and thus organisations like the 
  Laundry must occasionally go around and prevent talented 
  software engineers from accidentally reformatting their 
  neighbourhood or perhaps even their entire hometown.
  A Brief  History of  Magic
  Long before our ancestors developed opposable thumbs 
  or even limbs, powerful ancient beings inhabited the Earth. 
  Some came from this dimension, some from others but they 
  could all travel through space, time and other dimensions at 
  will, using magic and various forms of advanced technology 
  that no human can understand. Eventually, most of these 
  creatures flapped off into the cosmos or died out in 
  various wars, while the remainder dwell in hostile (to us) 
  environments that they prefer and we do our best to avoid.
  Once humanity came around, there were always a few 
  eccentrics who played around with symbols, either in their 
  heads or by drawing them, singing repetitive chants or 
  whatever. Eventually, some of these eccentrics figured out 
  that some of these symbols or chants could make things 
  happen. Although they do not appear in any ordinary 
  archaeological journals, there are a number of ancient cave 
  paintings that are strictly off limits to all but authorised 
  personnel, because the symbols used in them are still 
  powerful. 
  Any good, and typically very well locked, occult library will 
  have books, paintings and other items that are centuries 
  or millennia old. However, the one universal truth about 
  magic before the middle of the 20th Century, was that it 
  was both dangerous and a truly frightening amount of 
  work. Magicians needed to design and solve all manner of 
  exceptionally complex formulas, diagrams and calculations 
  and a single misstep could result in everything from, at best, 
  total failure, to being kicked out of their own brainmeat 
  by something that used the opportunity to move in and 
  redecorate.
   
  Both the effort and the risk kept magic as an exceedingly 
  fringe hobby and most would-be sorcerers either did not 
  last long enough to cause much trouble or they got a clue 
  and after a few useful successes gave sorcery up for safer 
  pursuits, like Russian roulette. All this changed near the end 
  of World War II, when Alan Turning discovered that digital 
  computers and advanced mathematics could be used to do a 
  whole lot more than simply decode Nazi messages. 
  ‘Today learned the Aklo for the Sabaoth, which did not like, it being answerable from the hill and not from 
  the air. That upstairs more ahead of me than I had thought it would be, and is not like to have much earth 
  brain. Shot Elam Hutchins’s collie Jack when he went to bite me, and Elam says he would kill me if he dast. I 
  guess he won’t. Grandfather kept me saying the Dho formula last night, and I think I saw the inner city at the 
  2 magnetic poles. I shall go to those poles when the earth is cleared off, if I can’t break through with the Dho-
  Hna formula when I commit it. They from the air told me at Sabbat that it will be years before I can clear off 
  the earth, and I guess grandfather will be dead then, so I shall have to learn all the angles of the planes and all 
  the formulas between the Yr and the Nhhngr. They from outside will help, but they cannot take body without 
  human blood. That upstairs looks it will have the right cast. I can see it a little when I make the Voorish sign or 
  blow the powder of Ibn Ghazi at it, and it is near like them at May Eve on the Hill. The other face may wear 
  off some. I wonder how I shall look when the earth is cleared and there are no earth beings on it. He that came 
  with the Aklo Sabaoth said I may be transfigured there being much of outside to work on’
  — H.P. Lovecraft, The Dunwich Horror.
  words have 
  power:Sorcery
  
  125
  14 SorCery
  SOrCery
  Ever since then, magic has gotten increasingly easy as every 
  iteration of Moore’s Law put faster and smaller processors 
  in the hands of increasing numbers of tech-savvy people. 
  This is also when various governments suddenly became 
  very interested in sorcery. Previously, political leaders ranging 
  from Queen Elizabeth I to Adolph Hitler had attempted to 
  recruit sorcerers to work by their side but these efforts met 
  with the same sort of mixed success that sorcery always 
  faced before the dawn of the digital age. However, after 
  WWII, sorcery could be made relatively reliable and that 
  caused some politicians to become overly ambitious and 
  others to become very worried indeed. Thankfully, worry 
  has mostly won out over ambition. 
  In the wake of Turing’s discoveries, various governments did 
  their best to classify all research into computational sorcery 
  and related fields. As a result, advanced cryptography and 
  various other fields of mathematics have become highly 
  classified endeavours. All this worked out fairly well when 
  computers were huge machines found in the basements 
  of secure government buildings and a few universities. 
  However, as the digital revolution progressed, it became 
  clear that the sorts of computers found in the homes and 
  offices of millions of professionals could not only be used 
  to perform all manner of powerful feats of magic, they 
  could even do so accidentally. When someone attempted 
  to create a new type of graphic rendering system or a new 
  audio compression algorithm, they might accidentally end 
  up performing calculations that could result in several 
  dead bodies in a nearby morgue getting up and looking for 
  something to eat or worse yet opening a gateway to another 
  dimension filled with vast and hungry entities. 
  Previously, governments had spent a fair amount of their 
  magical effort working to attempt to stop enemy sorcerers, 
  just as British occultists worked against the Nazi sorcerers 
  during World War II. Now, the Laundry also had to attempt 
  to stop well meaning hobbyists who had no idea that the 
  code they were getting ready to run could let hordes of 
  hungry monsters from other dimensions into their living 
  room. Today, the Laundry and the occult intelligence 
  agencies of other nations must defend their nations against 
  all manner of occult threats, including accidents, terrorism, 
  sorcerers from rival occult intelligence agencies, intrusions 
  by hungry or ambitious extra-dimensional entities and 
  potentially deadly mistakes made by overly curious geeks. 
  As computers become more powerful and knowledge of 
  them becomes more widespread, magic becomes easier and 
  magical apocalypses like CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN 
  look increasingly likely. 
  Magic, Energy and Magical Energy
  In less informed discussions of sorcery, there is a great deal 
  of talk about so called ‘magical energy’. To actual sorcerers, 
  this phrase can have one of two meanings – three if you 
  count proof that the speaker is utterly clueless. There is 
  energy summoned by magic and there are the energies that 
  become bound up in places and objects associated with 
  magic, strong emotions or dying. 
  Energy Summoned By Magic
  The most basic type of magic involves summoning magical 
  energy from other dimensions. Everything from the blast 
  of laser light from a mirrored Hand of Glory to the 
  subtle changes produced by a glamour come from simple 
  or complex energies summoned from another dimension. 
  These energies are the basis of all magic – even summoning 
  or banishing a possessing demon is actually the transfer of 
  a particular organised energy field from one dimension to 
  another. One of the most useful aspects of magic is that 
  it breaks most conservation laws and is thus a way to get 
  something for almost nothing – assuming you regard risking 
  possession, brain damage or insanity as almost nothing. 
  If you are willing to deal with these risks, you can play 
  around with some simple circuits and some less than simple 
  computations on a computer or PDA and instantly turn 
  someone into a pile of ash or short out every circuit breaker 
  over several city blocks. Of course, this energy can also be 
  used in exceptionally subtle ways, to temporarily alter the 
  motion of air molecules around you to make certain that 
  any sound you make gets no more than a metre or two from 
  you before it utterly vanishes. By controlling energy in very 
  obvious and exceptionally subtle ways, sorcery can be used 
  to do almost anything. 
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  Thaumic Energy
  When most sorcerers talk about magical energy, energy 
  summoned by magic is not usually what they mean. 
  Summoning energy is simply what magic does. ‘Magical 
  energy’ is an entirely different and usually far less 
  manageable beast. It is also known as thaumic resonance 
  and places with lots of that sort of energy are popularly 
  described as ‘creepy’ or simply haunted. The reason for 
  these ‘hauntings’ is simple; objects with a high degree of 
  thaumic resonance act as dimensional thin-spots, that 
  allow various sorts of energies to slip through from other 
  dimensions. Most often, these manifestations are simple 
  phenomena like cold spots or other local temperature 
  changes, local electrical or magnetic anomalies, poltergeist 
  activity involving objects moving or occasionally bursting 
  into flames. Occasionally, people experience hallucinations 
  and in areas with an especially high degree of thaumic 
  resonance, spontaneous possession may occur. Thankfully, 
  most often these possessions are temporary and end when 
  the subject moves more than a few metres from the affected 
  object or area. 
  There are a variety of reasons for objects or locations to 
  accumulate large amounts of thaumic resonance. The sites 
  of many people dying or suffering can do it, since human 
  minds can become conduits to other dimensions, especially 
  human minds pushed to the extremes of emotion which 
  transform though dying. However, the degree of ‘magical 
  energy’ produced by such sites in relatively small. Objects 
  or places that have been repeatedly used for magic tend to 
  accumulate significantly more thaumic resonance, especially 
  if the magic is both frequent and powerful. You could cast 
  dozens of level two glamours or other relatively simple 
  spells for many years and not accumulate much more 
  thaumic energy than you get at the site of an old gallows. 
  However, repeatedly summoning lots of powerful extra-
  dimensional entities or working other sorts of powerful 
  magic leaves a deep and lasting stain upon the local fabric 
  of reality and can go so far as to make a weak spot where 
  non-Euclidean creatures can slip through. However, the 
  worst and thankfully rarest sort of ‘haunted’ objects are 
  those that have either repeatedly visited other dimensions 
  or have been the site of multiple class three gates or a single 
  enduring class four gate. 
  The thaumic energy build-up from such events can be 
  immense and posses several additional dangers. In addition 
  to the problems of various sorts of disturbing, such sites 
  can also attract sorcerers who wish to use them for even 
  more magic in order to draw upon some of this resonance. 
  Performing sorcery on these sites increases the power of 
  the spells cast there and also eventually increases the local 
  thaumic resonance. 
  In a few of the most extreme hauntings, people walking 
  around late at night or even simply alone, become 
  inexplicably lost or have visions of sights best left unseen, 
  including visions of the inhabitants of other dimensions. In 
  the worst of these sites, a few of the people who become 
  lost never return, either because something crawls out 
  through a dimensional weak-point and eats them or because 
  they wander through a brief tear in reality and end up in 
  another dimension. 
  Although ‘grounding’ accumulated thaumic energy is 
  harmless if all safety precautions are taken and the process 
  goes exactly as planned, in the more extreme cases the 
  amount of thaumic energy present is so high that if the 
  grounding goes even slightly wrong an impressive amount 
  of thaumic energy is released in an instant. These energy 
  releases can do everything from sucking any unprotected 
  Thaumic Resonance or ‘Haunting’: Cause and Effect Table
  Level
  Causes
  Effect *
  1
  Old, well-used gallows, old cemetery or 
  asylum.
  Cold spots and creepy feelings.
  2
  Huge necropolis, very old and especially 
  horrific asylum, ritual space of a small 
  magical cult that endured for a few 
  decades.
  People easily become briefly lost or turned around. Anyone 
  sleeping here has strange and very disturbing dreams. Visitors 
  occasionally have brief visions of ancient events or half-seen 
  glimpses of extra-dimensional creatures.
  3
  Ritual space of a large and old magical 
  cult, an ancient cemetery used as a ritual 
  site by a small cult.
  Occasional poltergeist activity moves small objects or 
  causes them to vanish. On rare occasions, small fires may 
  mysteriously start. People occasionally become lost and 
  wander around for hours, seeing no one and no way out.  
  4
  Repeated trips to other dimensions or the 
  site of one long-term level 4 or many level 
  3 gates.
  Lone visitors occasionally see extended visions of other 
  dimensions, temporary spontaneous possession occasionally 
  occurs. On very rare occasions, the dead walk as they too are 
  possessed. 
  5
  Site of level 5 magic, site of multiple 
  enduring level 4 gates, home of several 
  powerful extra-dimensional entities.
  Spontaneous level 3 gates to other dimensions briefly open, 
  sucking visitors through or releasing extra-dimensional entities 
  into our world.
  * Effects listed at one level are also found in all lower levels
  
  127
  14 SorCery
  people or objects into another dimension to briefly letting 
  some powerful creature into our reality, to simply killing 
  any unprotected living thing within a few dozen metres, 
  see Exorcism (page 137) for further details on grounding 
  thaumic energy. Hauntings are divided up into levels like 
  spells; the table above details the effects of various levels of 
  haunting, as well as their possible causes. 
  Learning Magic
  These days no one learns magic by memorising spells. There 
  is an excellent reason for this, spells never make any sense – 
  literally. Magic does not work according to any of the laws 
  or principles that we are familiar with in our daily lives. Even 
  more than quantum mechanics, and that is saying a lot, 
  magic is utter nonsense when examined from the viewpoint 
  of our ideas of how the world works. As a result, trying to 
  reason out why a spell works as it does is doomed to failure. 
  There may be sorcerers who are literally insane enough to 
  manage this sort of thing, but they are all sufficiently insane 
  and magically twisted that they are no longer fully human, 
  so asking them to explain their understanding will not help 
  you much and might drive you insane too.
  The rituals necessary to perform magic are quite complex 
  and even in the pre-computer era would be sorcerers or 
  at least those who did not die trying to perform their first 
  spell, kept their grimoires open during rituals to help keep 
  from making what was usually a fatal mistake. These days, a 
  skilled computational sorcerer with a keen survival instinct 
  starts out knowing a whole lot about computers and writing 
  code and then goes on to learn lots of theory about how 
  magic works. They learn that the Dho-Na curve is a vital 
  part of any summoning ritual and all manner of similar 
  facts. Then, they learn what magic can do, roughly how it 
  works and how to use pre-written spells and how to compile 
  a set of magical code into a personalised spell that does 
  exactly what they want. What they will not be learning is 
  why any of this works – it is not a necessary part of being 
  a sorcerer and beyond a few half-mad R&D types, no one 
  knows. Computational sorcerers also will not be writing any 
  new spells – that is the job of the same half made R&D 
  sorcerers, not field agents.
  Instead, field agents learn how to draw rapidly and 
  accurately with a conductive pen, as well as how to properly 
  align a laser pentacle and how to set up a portable faraday 
  cage. The precise details of the various diagrams, chants, 
  computations and whatever else they need to perform spells 
  will be conveniently housed on their PDA, smartphone, 
  laptop, netbook, iPod or whatever other nifty piece of 
  tech they are carrying around. This tech also runs the 
  computations, speaks the chants with error free precision 
  and displays the diagrams that need to be drawn. Over time, 
  experienced sorcerers may learn a couple of spells that they 
  use all the time but only the crazy or the utterly desperate 
  try magic without some sort of electronic support – it is 
  too easy to forget one tiny step in amidst all the complex 
  insanity needed to perform actual magic.
  Learning the Sorcery skill
  The Sorcery skill does not improve through experience. 
  There are two ways to learn it – through training or by 
  piecing together disassociated bits of knowledge. Training 
  used to be a long and painful apprenticeship but now it is 
  a series of standardised courses (see Chapter 11: Budgets, 
  Requisitions and Training and the Advanced Occult 
  Computing courses). 
  Learning sorcery indirectly is a harder process. Whenever a 
  character passes a skill level in other key skills, he may check 
  Sorcery. The character gains one check whenever a relevant 
  skill passes 50%, 75% or 90%, as his greater understanding 
  of how reality works informs his growing knowledge of 
  sorcery. The skills that give Sorcery checks are:
  •	
  Cthulhu Mythos
  •	
  Computer Use (Magic)
  •	
  Knowledge (Occult)
  •	
  Science (Thaumaturgy)
  •	
  Science (Mathematics) 
  Magic and the Multiverse 
  The most important truth of magic is that ours is not the 
  only universe. We do not understand the nature of the 
  multiverse but what we do know is that there are many 
  millions of other universes out there. According to our 
  best theories, the actual number of other universes or 
  dimensions, or whatever you want to call them, is infinite. 
  Some of them are almost identical to our own. Yes, Everett’s 
  many worlds hypothesis is true. There are universes out 
  there where the Nazis won, as well as probably at least one 
  where you invented something marvellous and are now a 
  billionaire living in a lavishly tacky mansion. You will not see 
  any of those worlds, the closer one universe is to another, 
  the more energy it takes to open a gateway between them. 
  This is a good thing too or every sorcerer would go around 
  playing a version of Being John Malkovich with their billionaire 
  counterparts. 
  However, while there is an infinity of universes almost 
  identical to our own out there, there is a larger infinity 
  of very different universes. Most of them have radically 
  different physical laws – on some your molecules would 
  evaporate into clouds of protons and electrons the instant 
  you set foot there. On others, the iron in your bloodstream 
  would begin to radioactively decay or you would collapse 
  into a tiny black hole under the force of the gravity 
  generated by your instantly dead body. Needless to say, 
  visiting a dimension that you have not carefully checked out 
  beforehand is exceptionally inadvisable.
  Working magic involves opening gates between one of 
  these universes and our own. As is discussed later, there 
  are five types of these gates (see page 138). Three of these 
  types actually create physical openings through which 
  people and other things can travel and are described under 
  the entry on the gate spell. Such gates are rarely used and 
  difficult to create. The vast majority of magic involves the 
  SOrCery
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  128
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  other two types of gates, which move energy from one 
  universe to another. All inter-dimensional gates, regardless 
  of whether they move matter or energy, do so by first 
  moving information from one universe to another. In fact, 
  the formal definition of magic is moving information from 
  one universe to another using advanced mathematics. The 
  important question is what type of information you want 
  to move. 
  Learning Spells
  The process of becoming a sorcerer involves a combination 
  of learning a great deal of the theory of magic, while also 
  learning the details of how to cast all of the common spells. 
  All characters with a sufficiently high score in the Sorcery 
  skill can cast all common spells of a particular level. See the 
  following table for further information.
  Spell 
  Level
  Sorcery Skill Required to Know 
  and Cast Spells of  that Level
  1
  15%
  2
  30%
  3
  45%
  4
  60%
  5
  90%
  If you have access to the instructions for a spell (say, a 
  grimoire), you can try casting it even without having the 
  requisite Sorcery skill level – you do not understand how it 
  works, but you can mutter the words or run the code. This is 
  generally very unwise. Any failure when casting a spell that 
  you do not have the Sorcery to work means a roll on the 
  Spell Failure table.
  Spell Variants
  There are hundreds of variations on every spell, each of 
  which has their own quirks and title. The Incantation of  
  Naar’gh Ti’che and the Wheel of  Eibon and Occult Firewall v1.3 
  may all be Level 2 Entropy Manipulation spells under these 
  rules but a practising sorcerer might refer to each spell by its 
  proper name instead of using the general term.
  Rare Spells
  There are more spells – infinitely more – than are listed in 
  this chapter. New spells may be learned through research 
  or experimentation. This is the type of research and 
  experimentation best performed in a Faraday cage, in a deep 
  mine shaft, far away from any centres of population and by 
  someone you do not like. Cultists and demons may throw 
  unusual spells at you in the course of a mission – rather 
  than stopping to ask if that is a variation on Defensive Ward 
  IV, try dodging and running away before the thing eats you.
  Casting Spells
  Unless you are crazy, desperate or using a previously 
  enchanted item like a Hand of Glory, all sorcery requires 
  some sort of ritual to perform. This ritual can be anything 
  from old-school fripperies involving a dozen people in 
  robes chanting in unison or it can be performed by a single 
  computational sorcerer with a signal generator, a PDA and 
  a pen that writes in conductive ink. 
  All of these methods require a certain amount of time as 
  well as specific equipment, which can be anything from 
  a dozen chanting cultists in elaborate costumes, to a new 
  laptop and a conductive pencil. The nature of the sorcerer’s 
  equipment determines the POW the sorcerer has available. 
  If this POW equals the POW needed to cast the spell the 
  sorcerer wishes to cast, then they can immediately cast it. 
  If, as is often the case, this POW is below the POW needed 
  to cast a spell, then the sorcerer can augment their available 
  POW through a variety of means (see Increasing Spell POW, 
  page 132). There are five ways to use magic. Except when 
  using a magical device, all of these methods of performing 
  magic require a skill roll but the skill rolled depends upon 
  the type of magic. 
  Spell Level
  POW required to cast it
  1
  12
  2
  14
  3
  16
  4
  18
  5
  24
  Available POW - Master Table
  POW
  Equipment
  Time Modifier
  11
  Traditional Sorcery 
  pencil and paper 
  computation 
  scientific calculator 
  20 x for traditional 
  sorcery
  60 x for pencil and 
  paper sorcery
  10 x for using a 
  scientific calculator 
  12
  Relatively recent 
  PDA, smartphone, 
  or MID
  Listed Time
  13
  New netbook or 
  older laptop
  Listed Time
  14
  New laptop or 
  Desktop
  Listed Time
  15
  Modern 
  Supercomputer
  1/5 the Listed Time
  INT
  Mental Magic
  10 x Listed Time
  
  129
  14 SorCery
  Spell Failure Table
  When spells fail, most often nothing happens. However, 
  when spells go badly wrong, they can have all manner of 
  unintended negative consequences. As stated previously, 
  some types of sorcery are considerably safer than others 
  but all carry at least some risk. 
  Type of  Magic
  When to Roll on the Spell 
  Failure Table
  Computational 
  Sorcery
  Only on a Fumble
  Old Style Ritual 
  Sorcery
  On all Failures
  Mental Sorcery
  On all Failures
  When a spell goes wrong, or any time a spell is interrupted 
  in the middle and the sorcerer fails an Occult roll to keep 
  control of the spell, the sorcerer must make a roll on the 
  table on the next page. 
  POW AND MAGIC
  One of the obvious facts about this 
  magic system is that the POW of a 
  spell has absolutely nothing to do 
  with the Sorcerer’s POW. This is 
  intentional and deliberate. POW is 
  a measure of mental fortitude and 
  durability, both of which are very 
  useful when dealing with magic but 
  which have absolutely nothing to 
  do with casting especially potent 
  spells. All that matters for spell 
  casing are two factors – hardware 
  and software. If you are casting 
  the spell using a Cray Jaguar, you 
  are going to get a lot more bang 
  than if you are using a PDA made in 
  2003. Also, the more peripherals 
  and other sorts of elaborations 
  you add on to the spell, the more 
  powerful it is going to be. Having 
  a high POW can often keep a sorcerer 
  alive but it will not make them a 
  better sorcerer. 
  SOrCery
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  Roll
  Result
  01–30
  One or two delicate pieces of equipment used in the spell are ruined.
  31–50
  There is a small explosion of thaumic energy. All electronics within 10 metres require resetting or restarting 
  before they work again and all potentially fragile ritual paraphernalia is ruined. Also, everyone within 10 
  metres takes 1d3 points of thaumic energy damage due to nose bleeds, serious headaches and minor cell 
  damage.
  51–60
  There is major poltergeist activity for the next 1d3 minutes. Objects with a SIZ equal to or smaller than 
  the level of the spell fly through the air, smashing breakable objects and possibly striking anyone within 
  10 metres. Everyone within this range must make a POW x 3 Luck roll every turn that they are within the 
  affected area to avoid suffering 1d6 damage due to being hit by small flying objects like cell phones, circuit 
  boards or candlesticks.
  61–70
  There is a moderate explosion of thaumic energy, everyone within 10 metres suffers 1d6+2 damage from 
  thaumic energy, all electronics within range are utterly ruined.
  71–80
  The spell acts as a summoning spell and summons a single non-physical entity. This entity attempts to 
  possess any person or complex piece of electronics (like a computer or a phone) that is not warded.
  81–90
  There is a massive explosion of thaumic energy, everyone within 10 metres suffers 2d6+2 damage from 
  thaumic energy, all electronics within range is utterly ruined and all digital data is unrecoverable. Also, the 
  region is now affected by a Haunting (see page 126) of a level equal to the spell that was being cast. 
  91–00
  A type three gate (see page 138) is opened to a random dimension (or possibly one that the sorcerer 
  was trying to summon a being from). This gate remains open for 1d3 hours and during this time extra-
  dimensional entities can come through it, including both non-physical entities that can possess humans or 
  animals and extra-dimensional physical beings. The exact nature of the beings depends upon the particular 
  dimension. Also, the region is now affected by a level four haunting, unless the spell being cast was level 
  five, in which case the area now suffers from a level five Haunting. 
  Note: In all cases, wearing or previously casting a personal ward of a level at least equal to the level of the spell that went 
  wrong protects the user from any damage caused by thaumic energy, but does not protect their equipment. Also, unless the 
  level of the ward is higher than the level of the spell that went wrong, the ward is destroyed.
  Also, if the spell accidentally summons entities or opens a 
  gate to another dimension, it only allows through entities 
  that could be summoned by a summoning spell of a level 
  no greater than the level of the spell that went wrong. If the 
  sorcerer attempted to cast a level three spell and had to roll 
  on the Spell Failure Table, then the most powerful beings 
  that could be summoned or come through a gateway are 
  those that could be by a level three summoning spell. 
  Using Magical Devices
  The simplest and safest way to use magic is requisitioning 
  a magical device from Q Division. Magical devices always 
  work, at least if they are intact and properly activated. They 
  may break or they may be overloaded with powerful magic 
  but they do not fail and they do not backfire. If you light 
  a Hand of Glory and do not drop it, you will always be 
  invisible until the hand burns itself out. Best of all, you 
  do not need to know much about magic to use the vast 
  majority of these devices. The limitations are obvious, you 
  need to have a magical device with you, you usually need 
  to dig it out of your pocket in order to use it and it does 
  exactly one thing.
  Rules: There is no need to roll or calculate the base POW 
  of the device, since it works and this POW cannot be used 
  for anything else.
  There are some more powerful artefacts, like an Erich Zann 
  violin, which can cast multiple spells. These items have a 
  listed POW and a note of the skill used to manipulate them.
  Activating Pre-Written Magical Apps
  Many skilled sorcerers have contempt for magical script-
  kiddies, who use pre-written magical code, but these script-
  kiddies do not have to worry about ending up possessed 
  or brain damaged because they mispronounced an eldritch 
  syllable. Also, like magical devices, the app does the work 
  and so the user need not know much about magic. They are 
  also relatively fast to use. If you have a device configured 
  properly, you can activate a magical app with the push of 
  one user-defined button, or one or two touches on a screen. 
  Although not quite as solidly reliable as a physical magical 
  device, pre-written magical apps almost always work. 
  Best of all, magical apps are well-tested spells and never 
  backfire. Unfortunately, they are also no more versatile than 
  magical devices and are quite limited in power.
  Magical apps are designed so the user does not need to 
  tweak the code. This makes them faster and safer, but limits 
  them to the exact function they were created with. There is 
  usually a trade-off between safety and raw power, so that 
  these apps are not nearly as powerful as something that a 
  
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  skilled sorcerer could design on their own, which is the price 
  you pay for push-button sorcery. You can use a glamour app 
  to make you look sexy if you want but you will not look all 
  that sexy and it will mostly only affect people who are easily 
  conned. 
  Rules: Magical apps always work and require no rolls to 
  use. The sorcerer pushes the button and the spell works. 
  The major limitation of these apps is that the basic POW 
  of the spell cannot be augmented. It depends solely on 
  the equipment that the character is using. This POW is as 
  follows:
  POW
  Equipment
  Time Modifier
  12
  Relatively recent PDA, 
  smartphone, or MID
  Listed Time
  13
  New netbook or older 
  laptop
  Listed Time
  14
  New laptop or Desktop
  Listed Time
  15
  Modern Supercomputer
  1/5 the Listed 
  Time
  Computational Sorcery
  This is the real thing, actual magic performed by a (hopefully) 
  skilled computational sorcerer. For the sake of safety and 
  sanity (see Old-Style Sorcery) all of the computations 
  and many of the other details of the ritual are handled by 
  the sorcerer’s technology. If you need a series of eldritch 
  phrases chanted perfectly, you can memorise them and 
  practice a lot and hope that you do not forget a line when 
  you have got a demon trying to break out of its summoning 
  grid and eat your brain, or you can use a speech synthesiser 
  program and worry about other details of making the spell 
  work. There are very few new spells. The vast majority of 
  computational sorcery is not about doing something new, it 
  is about doing something powerful that works exactly the 
  way you want it to. 
  There are four ways to perform computational sorcery, by 
  hand, using pencil and paper, using a scientific calculator, 
  a pencil and a whole lot less paper,and using some form 
  of computer, smartphone or similar device. Performing 
  computational sorcery using only pencil and paper is an 
  exceedingly arduous and demanding task. The sorcerer 
  must make one successful INT x3 roll for every spell level 
  to avoid a variety of mathematical errors. Failure requires 
  the individual to start over and any fumbles requiring an 
  immediate roll on the Spell Failure Table. Performing spells 
  in this fashion requires 60 times the listed time for spells.
  Spells can also be performed using a scientific calculator. 
  The character must make one successful INT x 5 roll for 
  every spell level to see if any calculation mistakes were 
  made. Failure requires the individual to start over and any 
  fumbles require an immediate roll on the Spell Failure Table. 
  Performing spells in this fashion requires 10 times as long as 
  the listed time for spells.
  Performing spells using a smartphone, MID, netbook, 
  laptop or desktop takes the listed time and uses no special 
  rules. However, if the character is lucky enough to gain 
  access to a modern supercomputer then they can reduce 
  the listed time for spells by a factor of five. The base POW 
  of the spell also depends upon the equipment the sorcerer 
  is using. However, when performing computational sorcery, 
  the sorcerer also has the option of augmenting this POW 
  through various means (see Increasing Spell POW, page 
  132).
  POW
  Equipment
  Time Modifier
  11
  Pencil and paper 
  computation, 
  Using a scientific 
  calculator 
  60 x for pencil and 
  paper sorcery
  10 x for using a 
  scientific calculator 
  12
  Relatively recent 
  PDA, smartphone, 
  or MID
  Listed Time
  13
  New netbook or 
  older laptop
  Listed Time
  14
  New laptop or 
  Desktop
  Listed Time
  15
  Large Modern 
  Supercomputer
  1/5 the Listed Time
  Rules: The sorcerer rolls Computer Use (Magic) (or 
  Science (Mathematics), for calculations by hand). If this roll 
  succeeds, the spell functions normally or at least as normally 
  as any spell functions. If the roll fails, then the spell fails but 
  the magician can try again, assuming that nothing drastic 
  has happened to them in the meantime. However, if the 
  spell casting roll is a fumble, then the sorcerer must roll on 
  the Spell Failure Table, which generally means something 
  very bad has happened to them.
  Traditional Magic
  This is pre-computer magic using magic squares, 
  painstakingly drawn sigils and complex chants that must 
  be pronounced with great care, lest creatures from beyond 
  the walls of the universe devour the magician. Traditional 
  magic is slow and any remotely powerful ritual demands 
  that participation of several people, since there is far more 
  than one person can accomplish at once. There is chanting 
  and drawing and there may even be an animal sacrifice, or 
  on rare occasions a human one. In short, traditional magical 
  rituals are long loud affairs that can go spectacularly wrong 
  if interrupted at the wrong moment and any moment from 
  when they start to when they are over is usually the wrong 
  moment. Traditionalists and the more backwards cultists 
  still practice traditional magic but it is getting rarer by 
  the year as fewer people decide that this sort of magic is 
  worth the risk. The primary reason that traditional magic 
  still exists is that some of the old grimoires actually contain 
  useful information. A few of these books remain in private 
  collections or on sale by obscure used booksellers and 
  occasionally someone picks one up and decides to try out 
  one of these spells.
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  Rules: The sorcerer makes a spell casting roll. This roll is 
  made against the lower of Sorcery and some other skill, 
  usually Art, Knowledge (Occult), Perform or a specific 
  ancient foreign Language. So, if a character has a 50% in 
  one and a 40% in the other, the roll would be against a skill 
  of 40%. If the spell casting roll succeeds, the spell functions 
  normally. However, if the spell casting roll fails, then the 
  spell automatically backfires and the magician must roll 
  on the Spell Failure Table. If the sorcerer is unfortunate 
  enough to roll a fumble, they must roll on the Spell Failure 
  Table twice. 
  The basic POW of Traditional Sorcery is 11 and all spells 
  require 20 times more than the listed time to perform 
  because of the necessity of performing lengthy and 
  complex rituals without electronic assistance.
  Mental Magic (True Sorcery)
  This utterly insane variety of sorcery is a particularly suicidal 
  subset of traditional sorcery. Instead of relying upon 
  carefully drawn sigils, chants and other aids, the magician 
  processes the symbolic content of the spell in their own 
  mind. Although not as fast as computational sorcery, it is 
  somewhat faster than traditional sorcery and anyone who 
  understands how sorcery works can perform it anywhere 
  under any conditions, as long as they can think clearly 
  and are not interrupted. Unfortunately, it is also by far the 
  most dangerous form of sorcery. Attempting to run what 
  amounts to the operating system of the universe through 
  your own brain is not merely risky, it is actively suicidal. 
  This type of sorcery is best left to the insane, the insanely 
  desperate with nothing to lose and those hoping to save 
  others through their sacrifice. 
  Unlike any other variety of magic, the question when 
  performing mental magic is not whether or not something 
  bad will happen to the sorcerer but merely how bad a disaster 
  are they in for. Amnesia, strokes, minor brain damage or at 
  best temporary insanity are all possibilities even if the spell 
  works. If it fails and the occult energies find other channels, 
  then the problem is that these channels are inside the neural 
  structure of the sorcerer’s brain and that is usually that.
  Rules: The sorcerer makes a Difficult Sorcery roll – working 
  without any sort of external aid makes sorcery vastly more 
  difficult. If the spell casting roll succeeds, the spell functions 
  normally. However, if the spell casting roll fails, then the 
  spell automatically backfires and the magician must roll on 
  the Spell Failure Table. If the sorcerer is unfortunate enough 
  to roll a fumble, they must roll on the Spell Failure Table 
  twice. Also, regardless of whether the sorcerer succeeds or 
  fails in casting the spell, they must also roll on the Mental 
  Magic Side Effect table.
  On the positive side, this is a very powerful way to work 
  suicidal magics. The POW of the spell is the sorcerer’s INT. 
  Of course, the risks involved mean that there is a non-trivial 
  chance that the sorcerer’s INT is going to be lower when the 
  spell is done. However, someone smart enough can pump 
  out some awesome magic – for a short while. Mental magic 
  requires 10 times the listed amount of time to perform.
  Mental Magic Side Effect Table
  Roll
  Effects
  SAN Loss
  01–30 
  The subject loses 1d6 x 10% 
  from any single skill for 1d6 
  days and then recovers fully.
  1d4
  31–50
  The subject loses 1d6 INT for 
  1d3 days and then recovers fully.
  1d6
  51–60
  The subject loses 1d8 INT 
  for 1d2 weeks and 1 INT 
  permanently.
  1d10 
  61–70
  The 
  subject 
  suffers 
  total 
  amnesia for 1d6 days and then 
  loses 1d6 x 10% from 1d3 Skills 
  permanently.
  2d6
  71–80 
  The subject loses 2d6 INT 
  for 1d3 weeks and 1d3 INT 
  permanently.
  2d10
  81+
  The subject is now a brain 
  damaged vegetable incapable of 
  caring for themselves.
  All
  Modifying Spells
  There is only so much that you can do with off-the-shelf 
  equipment. Mobile personal electronics simply do not have 
  the capacity for high POW work, at least not without help 
  and even a high end desktop cannot manage the powerful 
  spells. So, if you want to work the serious mojo and you do 
  not have access to anything more than your cheap netbook, 
  you need additional aid. This aid can come in many forms. 
  Additional Processing Cycles
  Every spell has a listed time. Taking extra time to cast a 
  spell can net the sorcerer a small amount of extra POW, 
  though repetition and extra care. The bonus is not much but 
  sometimes it is enough. To gain the listed bonus, multiply 
  the time needed to perform the ritual by the listed multiplier.
  POW Bonus
  Time Multiplier
  +1
  x2
  +2
  x10
  Location
  Just like in real-estate, location matters. Locations associated 
  with certain types of magic work better for performing that 
  type of magic. The use of magic affects the local fabric 
  of reality and makes it more conducive to related types of 
  magic. Also, locations that have been repeatedly used for 
  tasks related to a type of spell can enhance that spell. So, a 
  crypt where necromancers regularly worked is a great place 
  to perform necromancy, as is an old graveyard or the site 
  
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  of an old gallows where many dozens of prisoners were 
  executed over the course of several hundred years. 
  The one limitation on this tactic is that it is fairly specific. 
  Different types of magic have different sorts of resonance. 
  If you want to cast a glamour to increase your sex appeal, 
  then doing it in a crypt where necromancers worked is a 
  very poor idea, unless you only want to be attractive to 
  necrophiliacs. Not only do such cross resonance attempts 
  not help but if the location is in any way antithetical to the 
  type of spell being cast, then the POW of the location is 
  subtracted from the spell’s POW. 
  Location Examples:
  Cemetery or site of  many executions: +1 POW for 
  spells associated with death or the dead, –1 POW for spells 
  strongly associated with life.
  Huge and ancient necropolis or site of  mass genocide: 
  +2 POW for spells associated with death or the dead, –2 
  POW for spells strongly associated with life.
  Insane asylum: +1 POW for spells associated with fear, 
  confusion or deception. –1 POW for spells associated with 
  enhancing perception or knowledge. 
  Courtroom or seat of  government: +1 POW for binding 
  and geas spells.
  Site traditionally associated with magic in popular 
  stories: +1 POW for all spells.
  Haunted Location: + Level of Haunting for all 
  summoning and gate spells, with an equivalent penalty for 
  banishing spells.
  Outsourcing
  Demonic aid is one of the oldest methods of magical 
  enhancement and is also the most powerful. It is also by far 
  the most dangerous. When working with extra-dimensional 
  beings, there is most definitely no such thing as a free lunch. 
  There are entities out beyond the rim of space that can 
  perform spells with a POW in triple digits. However, if you 
  are stupid enough to try to work with them, you will never be 
  working with anyone else again, except perhaps as a residual 
  human resource – if you are lucky. You can summon and 
  control a relatively minor entity to help with your spell and 
  while the additional POW you get is not all that great, if you 
  are careful you are able to make certain that helping with 
  your spell is all that it will be doing. At this point, the only 
  issues are making certain that you have got secure wardings 
  and a powerful geas to keep the creature on task and also 
  making certain that the entity is the right one for the job. As 
  with locations, different entities have different associations 
  and different proclivities. If you choose the wrong sort of 
  being, then the spell’s POW goes down and not up. 
  However, for really powerful magic, you need the sort of 
  entity that you are not going to be able to control or place 
  a geas on. Instead, you either have to bargain with it, ask it 
  to help with a task that it wants to do anyway or you have to 
  make going against your wishes too much trouble for it to 
  bother. None of these techniques are particularly foolproof, 
  which is why such major summoning normally require 
  special permission and operatives are strongly advised to 
  find alternative methods of obtaining the necessary POW 
  for their spells.
  The aid of an extra-dimensional entity adds 20% of the 
  entity’s POW (round down) to the spell. Alternately, the 
  sorcerer can ask or attempt to order the entity to cast the 
  spell, which can be very powerful, but unless the entity is 
  very carefully controlled, this method can also be disastrous. 
  If the entity is performing the spell, then use the rules for 
  Mental Magic, except that the entity does not suffer the 
  negative consequences that humans do for performing 
  this sort of magic. Except in emergencies, using extra-
  dimensional entities to actually cast spells requires prior 
  approval from the operative’s superiors. 
  Parallel Processing
  If your hardware is limited, then one answer is adding more 
  of the same sort of hardware. If you have several sorcerers 
  working on the same spell, each using their own hardware, 
  then you are going to boost the spell’s POW. Of course, 
  each sorcerer needs to know what they are doing. You only 
  need to make one roll for the entire spell but the roll is 
  made by the sorcerer with the lowest skill and everyone 
  involved suffers any ill effects. If you are going to be trying 
  this method, you need to make certain your colleagues 
  know what they are doing. Alternately, sorcerers can employ 
  assistants. These assistants do not need to understand 
  how to perform the ritual; they merely need to perform a 
  single action that is part of it, such as chanting a particular 
  chant. The Keeper should make a single INT x 5 roll for all 
  assistants, in addition to the normal roll needed to perform 
  INTErrUPTING SPEllS
  Interruptions occur. Sometimes the 
  police knock on the door in the 
  middle of a powerful ritual and 
  sometimes they break in and start 
  breaking your equipment. Regardless 
  of the type of interruption, if 
  the sorcerer or their equipment is 
  interrupted or disturbed during a 
  ritual, then the sorcerer must make 
  an immediate Occult roll to either 
  continue with the ritual or to 
  safely stop it. If the interruption 
  is minor and does not continue, then 
  the sorcerer can choose which of 
  these two options they wish to do. 
  If the interruption destroys any 
  of the necessary ritual equipment 
  or continues, then the sorcerer 
  can only attempt to safely end the 
  ritual. If this roll succeeds, then 
  all is well and the ritual either 
  continues or is safely ended. If 
  this roll fails, then the sorcerer 
  must roll on the Spell Failure 
  Table, even if the initial roll to 
  cast the spell was successful. 
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  the spell. A single spell can benefit from either additional 
  sorcerers or assistants, not both. 
  POW 
  Bonus
  Additional 
  Sorcerers
  Assistants
  +1
  1
  5
  +2
  4
  25
  +3
  16
  125
  +4
  64
  625
  Peripherals
  One obvious method involves the use of various peripherals. 
  Sorcery is all about using the correct mixture of complexity 
  and precision. A pentacle made of laser light is more precise 
  and thus more powerful than one drawn in chalk and having 
  the chants come out of high end stereo speakers works 
  better than having them come out of a speaker phone. 
  Similarly, various physical props also work and the more 
  precise they are the better. If you want to glamour yourself 
  to come off to people as a super spy, then using a Hi-Def 
  video of the latest Bond film and one of the better made 
  actions figures works better than playing a low-res copy of 
  the film on your phone and using a sketch you made of Mr. 
  Bond.
  POW 
  Bonus
   Type of  Peripheral
  +1
  A single complex diagram or other single 
  object, including off-shelf electronics that 
  have been re-purposed for sorcerous use, like 
  a speech synthesiser or MP3 player playing 
  recordings of chants.
  +2
  Half a dozen simple but appropriate objects, 
  like candles, drawings and ritual knives or a 
  set of several moderately complex peripherals 
  that can all fit into a small suitcase, such as 
  lasers and a set of mirrors used to make a 
  laser pentacle. Alternately, a single highly 
  specialised and custom made piece of 
  electronics that plugs into the sorcerer’s PDA 
  or computer.
  +3 
  A full laboratory set up, complete with 
  several pieces of expensive, highly specialised 
  equipment, or a collection of large and 
  exceedingly elaborate ritual gear that seems 
  more appropriate on the set of a movie.
  Increasing Number of  Targets
  All of the following spells are designed to affect a single 
  target. Whether summoning several demons at once or 
  placing glamours on multiple targets, sorcerers sometimes 
  wish to affect more than one target with the same spell and 
  doing so increases the POW needed to cast it. The relationship 
  between additional targets and increased POW is as follows.
  POW Requirement
  Number of  Targets
  +1
  3
  +2
  9
  +3
  27
  +4
  81
  Increasing Area of  Effect
  Spells that affect an area typically only affect a few metres in 
  diameter. Unless otherwise listed, this diameter is two metres 
  per level of the spell. Increasing this diameter increases the 
  POW needed to cast the spell by the following amount.
  POW 
  Requirement
  Increase Diameter
  By a Factor of
  +1
  3
  +2
  9
  +3
  27
  +4
  81
  Reducing Casting Time
  Spells take time to cast and sometimes a sorcerer does not 
  have the necessary time. However, skilled sorcerers can 
  speed up this process. By taking a penalty of –20% to their 
  skill roll, a sorcerer can reduce the listed casting time by half. 
  This penalty can be taken twice; reducing the casting time 
  to one third normal and reducing their skill roll by –40%. 
  However, sorcerers cannot reduce casting time by more 
  than this. When reducing spell casting time, round up to the 
  nearest round. No spell can ever be cast in less than one full 
  Combat Round.
  Spells
  Here are descriptions of the most common types of spells 
  used by various intelligence agencies. Additional spells 
  can be created, but operatives who do not work in the 
  Research and Development department are not cleared for 
  experimental sorcery. The development of a new type of 
  spell (as opposed to a variation on an existing spell) is a 
  major endeavour, requiring years of work by brilliant, highly 
  trained and often half-mad researchers. This process is also 
  highly dangerous – all spell research takes place in heavily 
  warded facilities, fitted with double protective wards, to 
  both prevent outsiders from gaining physical or magical 
  access to the interior and (often more importantly) to 
  prevent anything that goes wrong inside from getting out. 
  All spells that are available for use by field operatives have 
  been extensively tested and debugged. 
  
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  Spell Levels
  Spells have levels that range between one and five. 
  More powerful spells have higher levels. So, an Entropy 
  Manipulation spell to prevent eavesdropping is a level one 
  spell, while a Gate spell to open a large and enduring gate to 
  another dimension is a level four spell. The primary reason 
  that sorcerers need to use various methods to increase the 
  POW of their spells is that you need a certain minimum 
  POW in order to perform spells of a particular level 
  The POW needed to perform a particular spell depends 
  on its level and in some cases on some additional modifier. 
  The POW associated with various levels can be seen in the 
  following table. 
  Spell Level
  POW
  1
  12
  2
  14
  3
  16
  4
  18
  5
  24
  As can be seen in the table, level five spells are an exception 
  to the rules. The reason for this is that level five spells 
  are exceptionally powerful reality warping spells and are 
  rESISTING MAGIC
  A great many stories about magic 
  involve the hero resisting the affects 
  of malign magics due to his great 
  strength of will. That is all well and 
  good for stories but real magic does 
  not work that way. Real magic calls 
  energy from other dimensions and hits 
  you in the face with it. You are not 
  going to wilfully resist the affects 
  of being hit in the face with this 
  energy any more than you are going to 
  wilfully resist the affects of being 
  hit in the face with a brick. Other 
  than getting out of the way rapidly, 
  there is no way to avoid the affects 
  of the vast majority of magic. If you 
  want to avoid the affects of magic, 
  the best policy is to be elsewhere 
  and failing that, use a powerful 
  protective ward. 
  However, there is something to be 
  said for mental fortitude and self-
  discipline. It will not change how 
  magic affects you but it can change 
  how you react to it. The laser blast 
  of a mirrored Hand of Glory is not 
  something you can resist, nor is the 
  fat-sizzling crackle of electricity 
  arcing though your body after you 
  touch a particularly nasty offensive 
  ward. However, some magic affects 
  minds instead of bodies and that is 
  the sort of magic that it is possible 
  to resist, at least to a degree. 
  For 
  example, 
  the 
  more 
  powerful 
  glamours have two effects, they 
  alter perceptions and they produce 
  emotional 
  reactions. 
  If 
  someone 
  has glamoured an extra-dimensional 
  shambling horror to look, sound and 
  smell like a super-model, you are not 
  going to notice anything if you are 
  not specifically looking for a glamour. 
  Even if you are, you may know that 
  there is an extra-dimensional horror 
  under the glamour of a leggy anorexic 
  but you will still see a supermodel. 
  However, spells like geases and 
  glamours often also attempt to cause 
  targets or viewers to react in a 
  particular manner – speak all you 
  know about a particular topic, follow 
  the glamoured individual around like 
  a lovesick puppy… Resisting these 
  effects is a matter of willpower. Even 
  if you can hold off on doing this, 
  you will still feel the compulsion 
  and if the spell is designed to kill 
  you if you do not go along with it, 
  you are going to die but you will 
  die without revealing your mission, 
  or otherwise obeying the compulsion. 
  It is pretty cold comfort but humans 
  at least have a chance of resisting 
  most mental compulsions. That said 
  protective wards work far better.
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  significantly more difficult to cast than lesser spells. Level 
  four spells are very powerful, but a single level five spell can 
  change the fate of an entire planet. Some of the spells listed 
  here can only be cast at one or two different levels; others 
  can be cast at all five. The levels that a spell can be cast at 
  are noted immediately under the spell’s name.
  The following is a non-inclusive list of the most common 
  spells used by sorcerers, computational and otherwise. 
  The levels that this particular spell can be cast at are listed 
  immediately below the spell name and below that is the 
  casting time. 
  Defensive Bindings
  Level: One to Four
  Casting Time: One minute per Level
  This spell protects a single target against a specific type 
  of direct physical harm, like kinetic impact, heat, cold, 
  electricity or acid. Defensive bindings provide five points 
  of armour per level. However, this damage is ablative – the 
  spell provides an entropic void that the damage eventually 
  fills and when this entropic void is full, the spell is over. If 
  someone shoots a target wearing a level three kinetic impact 
  binding (which provides 15 points of protection) and does 
  12 points of damage, the binding absorbs all 12 points but 
  the protection provided by the spell is reduced to three 
  points. If the bullet had instead done 17 points of damage, 
  the target would have taken two points of damage and the 
  binding would have been eliminated. 
  Defensive binding provides protection from all sources 
  of damage of the listed type. A kinetic impact binding 
  protects the target from bullets, punches and falling, while 
  a heat binding protects the target from flamethrowers 
  and dangerously hot temperatures like those found in the 
  middle of the Sahara desert at noon. A character protected 
  by such a ward will not necessarily be comfortable, but they 
  are unharmed by that particular source of damage – at least 
  until the damage overcomes the ward. 
  Destiny Entanglement Geas
  Level: Three or Four 
  Casting Time: 30 minutes (Level 3), 1 hour (Level 4) 
  This powerful and risky spell joins the destiny of an 
  individual with that of either another individual or with a 
  specific archetype.
  Personal Destiny Entanglement  
   
  (Level Three)
  This spell mentally links two individuals. Until the spell is 
  undone, the two individuals can mentally communicate, 
  exchanging thoughts, memories and sensory perceptions at 
  will and in a fashion that cannot be overheard by anyone 
  else. Distance is not a factor in this communication, 
  which is always instantaneous. The only ways to cut off 
  communication between the two individuals are either to 
  end the ritual or to put these two subjects on either side of 
  a protective ward of at least level four. Otherwise, the two 
  individuals can mentally communicate at will. Ending this 
  spell requires either a level three exorcism spell or casting 
  the destiny entanglement spell in reverse.
  Individuals who are destiny entangled can also share skills. 
  If one character either possesses a skill at a higher level 
  than the other or simply possesses a skill that the other 
  does not, then the character with the lower skill can use the 
  higher skill instead. However, skills never add – a destiny 
  entangled character can use either their own skill or the 
  same skill possessed by the other entangled individual, not a 
  combination of the two.
  The results of this spell are uncomfortable and unnerving, 
  since the individuals also begin unconsciously sharing their 
  dreams and daydreams. They also share all strong emotions 
  and physical sensations. In addition, personality traits and 
  other quirks can also occasionally end up being shared by 
  both participants. While this can be an invaluable spell, it is 
  never a comfortable one and most operatives refuse destiny 
  entanglement unless ordered to undergo it.
  Destiny entanglement is also not recommended for more 
  than two weeks. After approximately three weeks, a destiny 
  entanglement progresses beyond shared thoughts and the 
  two individuals become a single permanently linked mind 
  with two bodies. After this point, attempting to un-entangle 
  the two minds typically results in permanent insanity for 
  both. 
  Performing this spell is fairly complicated, requiring 
  custom-made circuitry, a laser and a beam splitter as well 
  as the two participants each being inside a conductive 
  circle. Both individuals must be present for the spell, but 
  they do not need to be willing volunteers. Also, the ritual 
  is fairly lengthy. Set-up takes at least 25 minutes and the 
  actual destiny entanglement requires approximately 5 
  minutes, during which time both participants are distinctly 
  uncomfortable and experience all manner of strange and 
  unpleasant sensations, typically including both extreme 
  synaesthesia and pounding headaches. Sorcerers are strongly 
  advised to restrain even voluntary subjects due to the risk 
  that the subject will attempt to stop this spell in the middle, 
  causing all of the usual problems of interrupted sorcery. 
  Archetypal Destiny Entanglement   
  (Level Four)
  This spell combines the individual’s destiny with that of a 
  powerful and well known archetype. This spell is considerably 
  more complex than personal destiny entanglement and also 
  more difficult to use. Even once the target has been destiny 
  entangled they must, to some degree, dress like and act in 
  accordance to the archetype for the spell to work. Once the 
  target has acted in accordance with the entangled archetype 
  for two full days, the destiny entanglement spell begins 
  affecting them. At this point events surrounding the target 
  fit in to the framework of a story involving that archetype 
  or character. For example, brilliantly cinematic criminal 
  masterminds are never simply shot by a stray bullet or 
  successfully arrested by a random customs agent who finds 
  
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  something suspicious in their luggage. Similarly, less elegant 
  and less heroic spies can never successfully catch the elegant 
  superspy’s chosen villain in any way that would deprive the 
  elegant superspy of the chance to apprehend this villain. 
  Once an archetypal destiny entanglement has fully 
  established itself, anyone who is attempting to actively 
  work against the archetype’s story – such as a police sniper 
  attempting to shoot the villain before the elegant superspy 
  confronts the villain for the final time, must make a Difficult 
  Luck roll every time they directly act against the archetype’s 
  story. This roll is in addition to any skill roll the individual 
  must make. If this Luck roll succeeds, then the individual 
  may act normally. If the Luck roll fails, then some bad 
  luck or coincidence prevents them from acting – their gun 
  mysteriously jams, their cell phone suddenly drops a call. 
  Unlike personal destiny entanglement, the subject of an 
  archetypal destiny entanglement does not need to know that 
  a spell has been used upon them. In fact, the spell can be 
  cast so that the specific target is undetermined. Instead, the 
  first person who fits the spell’s parameters in terms of both 
  behaviours and goals will be unwittingly and unknowingly 
  thrust into this role. 
  Common Archetypes:
  -	
  The ‘James Bond’ geas used in The Jennifer Morgue, 
  where the villain could only be killed by a debonair 
  British superspy.
  -	
  The ‘Hero’s Journey’ geas, where the target fulfils 
  the steps of Campbell’s quest. 
  -	
  The ‘Year-King’ geas, where the target enjoys a 
  year of good fortune and adoration before being 
  sacrificed to renew the land at midwinter.
  -	
  The ‘Jesus mojo’ spell, where the target becomes a 
  Messianic figure who is inevitably betrayed.
  Entropy Manipulation
  Level: One to Four
  Casting Time: One round per level
  Because magic involves shuffling energy between 
  dimensions, it can be used to perform a variety of odd 
  tricks with this energy. One of the oddest is locally 
  modifying entropy. Magic can increase or decrease local 
  entropy. This is tricky stuff and so it is mostly used for 
  fairly simple purposes. One common spell for people who 
  do not like the idea of being overheard throwing a sound 
  randomising bubble around them. Even the best directional 
  microphone located outside this bubble is not going to pick 
  up anything but static and white noise. You can also use a 
  similar procedure to affect light but doing this ends up with 
  you looking blurry or wandering around in a bubble that is 
  opaque from the outside and the second is a clear violation 
  of the Official Secrets Act if used where civilians could see 
  it. Another option is a bubble around one or more people 
  that is slightly blurry but which causes all coherent light 
  to de-cohere, meaning that laser mikes cannot be used to 
  listen in on the individuals and turns the deadly laser blasts 
  from mirrored Hands of Glory into nothing more than 
  annoyingly bright spotlight beams. 
  Low level entropy manipulation can be accomplished simply 
  by running the correct program on a PDA, smartphone 
  or laptop. However, the more powerful forms of entropy 
  manipulation spells often require conductive diagrams be 
  drawn around the targets, unless the sorcerer has access to 
  powerful computers that need no such augmentation.
  The following are examples of different levels of Entropy 
  Manipulation:
  Level One: Create a spherical interference pattern in the 
  air around a stationary target, so no one outside this sphere 
  can overhear what that individual is saying. Blur the image 
  of a person so that they are difficult to recognise and facial 
  recognition software cannot identify them. Create an area 
  around the target to harmlessly de-cohere. 
  Level Two: Make a single stationary target invisible. Create 
  a zone of interference around a mobile target, so that no 
  one outside this radius can hear the target, even if the target 
  is running over a corrugated tin roof. 
  Level Three: Start or douse a small fire, no larger than that 
  from a propane torch. Make a single object no larger than 
  a briefcase too hot or cold to comfortably touch. Allow 
  a mobile target to become invisible. This spell can do a 
  maximum of 1d8 damage. 
  Level Four: Freeze a living target solid, ignite a bonfire. 
  Cause a target to spontaneously combust. This spell can do 
  a maximum damage of 2d6+6. 
  Exorcism
  Level: One to Four
  Casting Time: One minute per level
  Exorcism is the process of either removing thaumic energy 
  from objects and places, in effect removing ‘hauntings’ or 
  of dispelling an existing magical spell. The rituals needed 
  to perform these two different types of exorcisms are fairly 
  different. 
  Exorcising Thaumic Energy
  Exorcising thaumic energy is always a somewhat risky 
  procedure. If the sorcerer rolls badly enough to need to 
  make a roll on the Spell Failure Table (see page 129), they also 
  suffer the effects on uncontrolled thaumic energy release 
  (see page 132). In addition, this energy is automatically 
  released if anyone disturbs the exorcism apparatus while 
  the exorcism is occurring. This uncontrolled energy 
  release also happens if two or more objects containing 
  thaumic energy are closely connected and the sorcerer only 
  performs an exorcism on one of these objects. In the case 
  of such objects, the thaumic energy is released by each of 
  the connected objects that are not currently undergoing 
  an exorcism. The most common reason for an object to 
  be so connected is if they were originally part of the same 
  object or were always used together, like a sword and its 
  sheath. Exorcising thaumic energy always requires the use 
  of a specialised grounding strap or cable to drain off and 
  ground the residual thaumic energy. 
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  Rules: The level of the exorcism must be at least equal to 
  the level of the ‘haunting’. If this is the case and there are 
  no other problems (including a roll bad enough to cause the 
  sorcerer to roll on the Spell Failure Table), then the thaumic 
  energy is automatically exorcised and the object is now 
  completely free of thaumic energy. If the thaumic energy is 
  accidentally released all at once, the results depend upon the 
  level of the ‘haunting’. 
  Level
  Effect of  A Rapid Thaumic Energy 
  Discharge
  1
  There is a small explosion of thaumic energy. 
  All electronics within 10 metres require 
  resetting or restarting before they work again 
  and all potentially fragile ritual paraphernalia 
  is ruined. Also, everyone within 10 metres 
  takes 1d3 points of thaumic energy damage 
  due to nose bleeds, serious headaches and 
  minor cell damage.
  2
  There is a moderate explosion of thaumic 
  energy, everyone within 10 metres suffers 
  1d6+2 damage from thaumic energy and all 
  electronics within range are utterly ruined. 
  3
  There is a massive explosion of thaumic 
  energy, everyone within 10 metres suffers 
  2d6+2 damage from thaumic energy, all 
  electronics within range are utterly ruined and 
  all digital data is unrecoverable. 
  4
  The explosion of thaumic energy literally 
  disintegrates every unprotected living being 
  within 10 metres and does 2d6+2 damage 
  to everyone within 20 metres. Also, all 
  electronics within 10 metres are utterly ruined 
  and all digital data is unrecoverable.
  5
  The same effects as for a level four energy 
  release, except that the explosion also opens 
  a temporary level four gateway to another 
  dimension associated in some way with the 
  haunting. This gateway remains open for 1d6 
  hours.
  Exorcising Magic
  Exorcising magic is a somewhat simpler, but no less risky, 
  affair. Exorcisms are often used to remove offensive wards 
  and any exorcism that requires the sorcerer to roll on the 
  Spell Failure Table or any failure to overcome the power of 
  the other spell automatically sets off the offensive ward. In 
  this case, the sorcerer performing the exorcism becomes the 
  target of the offensive ward – even if this sorcerer would 
  not normally be targeted by this ward.
  Rules: Dispelling a spell is always easier than casting the 
  same spell. To dispel a spell, the sorcerer need only cast 
  an exorcism with a level of one less than the spell (with a 
  minimum level of one). However, in this case the sorcerer 
  must make a Resistance Roll, rolling the POW of the 
  sorcerer’s spell vs. the targeted spell’s POW. For greater 
  safety, the sorcerer can cast an exorcism spell of the same 
  level as the spell they wish to exorcise. In this case, the 
  exorcism automatically dispels the targeted spell. Sorcerers 
  always treat exorcism spells targeted on any spell they cast 
  previously as being one level higher. 
  Gates
  Level: One to Five (in practice, Three to Five)
  Casting Time: Variable
  Gates are physical opening to other universes. Although 
  all magic involves opening some sort of gate, most of 
  them are not physical openings but are instead conduits 
  through which various forms of energy can travel. These 
  are technically level one and level two gates and are not 
  considered actual gates. 
  Energetic and Informational Gates (Levels 
  One and Two)
  In most cases there are two options as to what sort of 
  information you can move, relatively unordered information 
  and complexly ordered information. Moving relatively 
  unordered information from one universe to another is 
  a relatively simple process that requires a level one gate. A 
  Hand of Glory opens exactly this sort of gate, as do all 
  entropy manipulation spells. Doing so is a relatively easy 
  process because one of the ways that universes differ is in 
  relative energy. There are millions of ancient and bleak low 
  energy universes hundreds of billions of years older than 
  ours, where the stars all burned out aeons before and all 
  that remains are decaying black holes and decaying protons. 
  If you need a place to dump energy, these are perfect, just 
  make certain that your gate is one-way, since these ancient 
  universes are often inhabited by ancient, powerful, energy 
  OvErCOMING OTHEr SPEllS
  When sorcerers come into conflict 
  with one another, they often end up 
  casting spells designed to overcome 
  their rival’s spells. The result 
  of these contests are usually 
  perfectly obvious. Spells of a 
  higher level always automatically 
  overcome spells of a lower level. 
  Thus, a level three spell always 
  automatically overcomes a level 
  two spell. Also, some spells like 
  protective 
  wards 
  automatically 
  overcome spells equal to their level 
  and automatically either fail or 
  burn out protecting the user when 
  attempting to stop higher level 
  spells. However, when two sorcerers 
  are using spells of the same level 
  and neither of these spells is a 
  protective ward, then compare POW 
  vs POW on the Resistance table to 
  determine the chance of one spell 
  overcoming the other.
  
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  hungry beings that would love a chance to snack on you or 
  perhaps our entire universe. 
  There are also millions of young universes, some no more 
  than a few seconds old, filled with particles, forces and 
  interactions that we do not have names or concepts for and 
  which contain more energy in any cubic centimetre than is 
  in the heart of a star. If you want huge amounts of energy, 
  say enough to transform carbon into silicon, these universes 
  are where you go. Of course, if you are insufficiently 
  careful, you could release a torrent of nameless energies 
  that could vaporise a few city blocks. Spells that utilise level 
  one gates may be higher than level one because of other 
  considerations, such as the complex ways that this relatively 
  simple energy and information is utilised. 
  Spells that send relatively simple information and relatively 
  chaotic or at least not complexly ordered energies take 
  less effort and less care than those that transfer complexly 
  ordered information, like computer programs or sentient 
  minds. To transfer this sort of information and energy, a 
  sorcerer needs to create a class two gate. Spells that transfer 
  complex information are used for possession, non-physical 
  summoning and mental projection to other dimensions. 
  Since it is a whole lot easier and usually far safer to summon 
  the just mind of a creature to this dimension than their 
  body, these types of spells get used a great deal. Regardless 
  of whether you are summoning something nearly mindless 
  to animate a zombie or a brilliantly inhuman mind to inhabit 
  a computer, you are doing the same sort of summoning. 
  Summoning spells and other spells that utilise class two 
  gates may have a level greater than two if they are especially 
  complex or use the summoned being in elaborate ways. 
  However, no spell that creates a level two gate can ever 
  be lower than level two. This is why level one summoning 
  spells are theoretically impossible. 
  In any case, when discussing about summoning minds, 
  many inexperienced sorcerers start wondering if that means 
  that some alien being in some other universe suddenly falls 
  over as its mind is snatched into our dimension. The answer 
  is that this sometimes happens. However, the reality is 
  usually quite different. One of the other useful things about 
  summoning minds is that theyre patterns of data that can 
  exist in any universe, assuming that they have someplace to 
  go. So, we can summon minds from and send our minds to 
  universes where human bodies would die instantly because 
  the physical laws are nothing like ours. 
  The truth is that the infinity of worlds with radically 
  different physical laws is a whole lot larger than the infinity 
  of worlds with similar physical laws and the radically 
  different worlds are a whole lot easier to contact. As a result, 
  we are mostly summoning things that do not have bodies in 
  any sense that we understand them. I know a few sorcerers 
  with backgrounds in theoretical physics who claim they can 
  understand what such universes are like but I am not certain 
  that I believe them.
  Naturally, it is also possible to send things physically from 
  one universe to another. This is trickier - you don’t want to 
  show up somewhere you will evaporate, or bring something 
  here that will detonate as its atoms spontaneously fission. 
  Physical Gates (Levels Three, Four and Five)
  When sorcerers discuss gates, they usually mean in the real 
  thing – passageways though which someone can travel to 
  another universe. These are technically called level three, 
  level four and level five gates. 
  Level Three Gates: Level three gates allow the transfer of 
  a single physical object up to the size of a train car or a 
  commercial passenger jet. Sorcerers can transfer a person 
  or a jet from our world into to another dimension or they 
  can physically summon a single physical entity of moderate 
  size and power, which means anything other than weakly 
  godlike entities. The gate remains open only briefly, to allow 
  the passage of the target and then it closes. To return the 
  target home, the sorcerer must open another level three 
  gate. Level three gates are regularly used for reconnaissance 
  of other dimensions as well as for physical summoning.
  Casting Time: Level three gates require two minutes to 
  create.
  Level Four Gates: Level four gates are large bi-directional 
  gates capable of remaining open for extended periods of 
  time. Maintaining a class four gate for extended periods of 
  time requires substantial energy but once open, class four 
  gates typically last for between 24 and 48 hours before they 
  naturally close. Unlike lower level gates, class four gates 
  require a minimum of several human sacrifices or an energy 
  source roughly equal in power to a neutron bomb. 
  Casting Time: Level four gates require at least 20 minutes 
  to create.
  Rules for Level Four Gates: The smallest of these 
  gateways are only two metres across, use the increasing spell 
  area table on page 134 to create larger gateways. 
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  Level Five Gates: Level five gates are enormous gates 
  that are between 500 metres and 10 kilometres in diameter 
  and are only used to transport huge and vastly powerful 
  entities between dimensions. Mass human sacrifice and 
  the detonation of hydrogen bombs are the only known 
  methods of opening level five gates. There are no approved 
  circumstances that warrant opening a level five gate and all 
  attempts to do so are not only forbidden but are automatic 
  grounds for immediate capture or execution by fellow 
  Laundry operatives.
  Casting Time: Level five gates require at least three days 
  of continuous work to create.
  Geas
  Level: Two for a temporary geas, three for a lasting geas
  +1 Level to the spell if the geas is used on an extra-
  dimensional being
  Casting Time: Two turns for a temporary geas, two 
  minutes for a lasting geas. Multiply this time by three for 
  geases cast on extra-dimensional beings – six turns for a 
  temporary geas and six minutes for a lasting geas
  A geas is a spell that compels the target to obey a particular 
  directive. The simplest type of geas requires the sorcerer 
  place the subject in contact with a summoning grid (see 
  page 134). Once there, a partially summoned demon forces 
  the target to obey the directive, which usually includes a 
  prohibition against breaking contact with the summoning 
  grid. 
  The target’s cooperation is unnecessary, all that the sorcerer 
  need do is place the subject in physical contact with the 
  summoning grid, which can be concealed, such as by 
  placing it under a rug. The spell only lasts as long as the 
  subject remains in contact with the summoning grid but 
  during this time the geas can be designed to cause the target 
  to perform almost any action. Temporary geases are always 
  level two spells.
  More powerful, level three geases can be performed so 
  that they last until they are removed or modified. These 
  lasting geases can only compel targets not to perform a 
  particular action. So, a lasting geas could make the target 
  avoid talking with someone but could not force the target to 
  talk to someone else. Removing or modifying a lasting geas 
  requires the geas spell be cast upon the same target again, 
  unless the caster included the ability to modify the details of 
  the geas later in the original wording of the geas.
  The three types of geas that employees of the Laundry are 
  likely to be most familiar with are the truth geas, the silence 
  geas and the geas placed on summoned beings. Laundry 
  Warrant Cards are specially enchanted items that perform 
  a silence and an obedience geas on the reader (see Warrant 
  Cards, page 98). 
  Truth Geas
  This spell is used by the Auditors for reviews involving 
  serious regulation breaches or other incidents, such as 
  deaths of civilians. Truth geases are also used to interrogate 
  important hostiles. This spell compels the subject to tell 
  the truth and causes extreme pain and eventually death to 
  targets who refuse to answer truthfully. The subject cannot 
  remain silent and must actively resist telling the whole 
  truth. However, if the subject can successfully make a 
  POW vs. POW roll vs. the POW of the spell, then they 
  can lie. However, doing so causes the subject pain and 
  will eventually kill them. Truth geases are only advised for 
  use on hostiles who are deemed to be unlikely to sacrifice 
  themselves to avoid revealing sensitive information. 
  Subjects who avoid answering an indirect question or who 
  tell a partial truth suffer intense pain and must make a POW 
  vs. POW roll vs. the spell’s POW every minute until they tell 
  the whole truth but the subject suffers no harm. Subjects 
  who lie or otherwise attempt to avoid answering a direct 
  question first experience excruciating pain for one minute, 
  then, the spell begins to literally crush their bones and rend 
  their muscles, doing 1d3 damage to the target every round. 
  This damage and pain stop the instant the subject tells the 
  truth about the subject that they lied about. 
  Casting this spell involves summoning an entity to touch the 
  target’s mind. This entity compels the truth and punishes 
  lies. Performing this spell is relatively simple; the subject is 
  typically restrained and placed in contact with a specially 
  prepared summoning grid. The summoning grids used in 
  official inquiries are specially made items, but occultists 
  can also create their own impromptu summoning grids. 
  When they cast this spell, the sorcerer can set parameters 
  under which the subject can safely refuse to tell the truth. 
  In addition, at any time during the ritual, the sorcerer 
  can command the entity to cease harming the subject for 
  refusing to answer fully and truthfully. 
  Silence Geas
  The silence geas is one of the most basic and essential spells 
  for any intelligence organisation. This lasting geas prevents 
  the subject from talking about certain topics with anyone 
  other than individuals with the correct security clearance. 
  All Laundry employees are subjected to a basic silence 
  geas that insures that they do not share the information 
  they learn with the press or the general public. In addition, 
  Laundry silence geas are designed so that they can be added 
  to by the target’s superior, enabling the superior to place 
  various topics off limits to anyone not of a particular 
  security clearance. Like all geases that forbid certain actions, 
  the character can make a POW vs. POW roll to admit that 
  they physically cannot act in a particular fashion (in this 
  case, discussing a certain topic openly) but doing so causes 
  them significant pain and beyond that admission, the geas 
  does not permit the subject to talk at all about anything they 
  have been ordered to keep silent about. 
  
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  Binding Geas
  Only fools or cultists summon extra-dimensional beings 
  and do not attempt to place a geas on them to control their 
  behaviour. If the summoned being is not required to leave 
  the summoning grid, as is often the case with incorporeal 
  summoned entities, then the geas can be placed on the 
  same summoning grid and it affects the entity as long as the 
  summoning lasts. For beings that are summoned in such a 
  way that they can leave the vicinity of their summoning grid, 
  a lasting geas must be used. Typical geases on summoned 
  beings include obeying the summoner, not attempting to 
  harm the summoner and performing whatever action the 
  summoner wishes the summoned being to perform. 
  Special Rules: Casting this type of geas adds one to the 
  level of the geas spell. Placing a geas on an extra-dimensional 
  entity in a summoning grid is a level three spell and placing 
  a lasting geas on a summoned extra-dimensional being is 
  a level four spell. Careful and exact wording is a necessity 
  when placing a geas on an extra-dimensional entity, since 
  most are far better than humans at finding loopholes in 
  sloppy wording. The difficulty of casting this type of geas 
  also triples the normal casting time.
  Other Geas 
  Geases can be used for purposes other than compelling 
  truth or silence but all uses of geases for other purposes 
  must be specially approved – the only exception being the 
  use of geases on enemy operatives in order to further the 
  success of a mission and even these uses will be subject 
  to at least cursory review. The use of sorcery to compel 
  the will of others is not to be taken lightly and other than 
  preventing violations of the Official Secrets Act or directly 
  acting to save civilian lives, the use of geases on civilians is 
  generally forbidden and can only be performed with special 
  permission.  
  Glamour 
  Level: One to Four (and rumours of Five)
  Casting Time: One minute per level
  Glamour spells distort perceptions. Like many other 
  spells, glamours have different effects at different power 
  levels. Low level glamours only produce subtle changes 
  in appearance. Higher level glamours can provide a highly 
  effective disguise, while also creating emotional impressions 
  that are almost overwhelming in their power. The most 
  powerful commonly used glamours can completely change 
  the user’s appearance, making a short, stocky, pale-skinned 
  man appear to be a woman who is tall, dark and slender. 
  Unfortunately, as a number of operatives have discovered, 
  glamours can also disguise all of the characteristic signs of 
  possession, including the distinctive glowing worm-filled 
  eyes. As a result, without careful occult scanning there is 
  no way to be certain that someone is not possessed. The 
  different levels of glamours provide different effects.
  Level One Glamour: This minor glamour can only provide 
  a minor degree of visual disguise, including masking 
  tattoos, scars, wrinkles or other distinctive features. It can 
  provide a similar level of disguise for other senses, covering 
  up mild bad breath or slightly rough skin. Alternatively, 
  the user could change one physical feature, such as nose 
  shape, eye colour or hair colour. These changes can make 
  the user more difficult to recognise but do not allow the 
  user to impersonate someone else, unless that individual 
  looks exceptionally like the user. The most problematic 
  use of level one glamours is that they can be used to mask 
  the distinctive glowing eyes found in almost all cases of 
  possession, allowing the possessed individual to look like 
  a normal, mentally uncompromised human. This level of 
  glamour has no emotional effects on viewers.
  Level Two Glamour: This glamour allows the user to 
  appear to be someone of roughly the same build. Unless the 
  user’s body is fairly androgynous in appearance, level two 
  glamours do not allow the user to appear to be a member 
  of the other sex but would allow a slender Asian woman to 
  appear to be a slender but highly athletic black woman of 
  approximately the same height. This level of glamour has 
  no emotional effects beyond a mild suggestion to accept the 
  user’s appearance as accurate. Level two glamours specifically 
  allow an individual to disguise themselves as a particular 
  other person. To perform an accurate impersonation, the 
  sorcerer must have a blood or skin sample of the person 
  being impersonated or a full readout of their genetic code. 
  This spell can make a fresh zombie possessed by an entity 
  that is experienced at operating a human body appear to be 
  a normal person but cannot disguise non-human entities as 
  human or make a shambling and rotting zombie appear to 
  be a normal human.
  Level Three Glamour: This potent spell allows the user 
  to disguise themselves as anything humanoid. A short, 
  fat half-breed BLUE HADES could look, sound and feel 
  like a tall and slender normal human, as could a rotting, 
  shambling zombie. Also, this spell can include significant 
  emotional manipulation, causing viewers to view the target 
  in a particular fashion. The user could become exceptionally 
  beautiful and sexy, impressively intimidating, wise and 
  fatherly or horrifyingly hideous. Viewers must make a 
  POW vs. the spell’s POW roll to avoid responding to this 
  emotional influence. Viewers who succeed in this roll still 
  recognise that the individual appears in the desired fashion 
  but can control their reaction to this impression. Characters 
  who fail this roll react to the target as they would to anyone 
  else who was exceptionally sexy, intimidating, horrifying or 
  whatever. The one limitation on level three glamours is that 
  they cannot do more than change appearances and convey 
  impressions. They cannot attempt to force anyone to take a 
  particular sort of action. 
  Level Four Glamour: This level of glamour is as much a 
  compulsion as an illusion. In addition to disguising writhing 
  multi-tentacled horrors as a person or a motorcycle, a 
  level four glamour can also can be used to cause people 
  to have a specific reaction. A piece of electronics can be 
  glamoured to cause people to buy it or a person glamoured 
  so that people worship and adore them. As with level three 
  glamours, viewers can make a POW vs. POW roll vs. the 
  spell’s POW to resist this effect but even people who resist 
  feel the compulsion and want to give in to it, they can just, 
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  barely, keep themselves from doing so. Level four glamours 
  are the most powerful glamours that human sorcerers know 
  how to create. 
  Level Five Glamour: There are rumours of level five 
  glamours but if they exist, only powerful extra-dimensional 
  entities can cast them. Such glamours are rumoured to 
  completely rewrite someone’s loyalties and affections, 
  making the target sincerely love or worship and enemy or 
  hate their best friend.
  Rule & Modifications: Glamours normally only last 
  for one full day. Creating a glamour that lasts indefinitely 
  increases the level of the spell by one. 
  Prognostication
  Level: Four
  Casting Time: Five hours
  This spell allows sorcerers to catch glimpses of the future. 
  It is primarily used by the Laundry’s Predictive Branch and 
  similar departments belonging to other intelligence agencies. 
  These departments run the necessary computations on 
  state of the art supercomputers. The results are not definite, 
  in large part because the future is not fixed. Instead, their 
  results are expressed as probabilities and are focused on 
  potential risks or advantages. For example, one prediction 
  about a mission might be that the operative has a 30% greater 
  chance of success if she wears a gold wrist watch on her 
  left arm and a 20% chance of hideous death if she carries 
  a gun anytime in the next two days. Even using dedicated 
  Predictive Branch supercomputers, these predictions can 
  provide no more than a few useful hints and require one 
  hour to perform. 
  Sorcerers can also attempt their own predictions. To 
  accomplish this, the computational sorcerer must run the 
  predictive computations on a high end PC of the sort that 
  is suitable for the latest graphics-heavy gaming. It is simply 
  not possible to run these predictions on a netbook, phone 
  or any other device less powerful than a recent laptop or 
  desktop. Naturally, the process works better if you have 
  access to a supercomputer.
  Rules: Characters with access to a supercomputer can make 
  reasonably reliable predictions for events that occur during 
  the next week. However, predictions made on a laptop or 
  desktop PC can only concern events occurring in the next 
  24 hours. Also, these calculations require approximately five 
  hours to run, limiting their practical predictions to 19 hours. 
  However, there are times when the information is more 
  than sufficient. 
  Each prediction must be focused on a single operative 
  who is currently on a mission. The spell then returns 1d3 
  predictions on actions likely to increase or decrease the 
  operative’s chances of success or survival, as well as a 
  rough gauge of how much this action is likely to increase or 
  decrease the operative’s chance of success or survival.
  Scrying 
  Level: One, Two or Three
  Casting Time: One round per level
  Scrying magic is magic designed to obtain information 
  about a target. The capabilities of a scrying spell depend 
  upon its level.
  Level One: This spell can only reveal the general level 
  of thaumic energy that is present in the location and can 
  localise unusually powerful sources of thaumic energy. 
  This spell locates any source of thaumic energy within four 
  metres of the caster. Use the Increasing Spell Area table on 
  page 134 to increase the range of this spell. 
  Level Two: This spell magically scrutinises the target 
  and looks for any and all active magic. A scrying spell will 
  reveal glamours on individuals as well as all protective and 
  Offensive wards. Scrying spells can also be used to tell is a 
  spell has been successfully circumvented. If an operative 
  is attempting to break through an Offensive ward, then 
  a scrying spell will allow them to tell if the attempt has 
  succeeded, without the necessity of risking setting off 
  the ward. A level two scrying spell can also automatically 
  pierce any level one or level two glamours, clearly revealing 
  the subject’s actual appearance. However, while a level 
  two scrying spell will reveal the presence of level three or 
  four glamours, it will not reveal what the subject looks like 
  underneath the glamour.
  Level Three: If desired, a level two scrying spell can be cast 
  as a level three spell. When cast at level three, scrying spells 
  allow the caster to automatically see through any level three 
  or four glamours, for as long as the scrying spell is active. 
  Rules: Scrying spells last only as long as the sorcerer is 
  actively using them. Casting a scrying spell requires one 
  minute. 
  Sympathetic Magic
  Level: One to Three
  Casting Time: Two minutes per level
  One of the old-style pre-computer ‘laws’ of magic was the 
  law of sympathy and contagion – objects that had been in 
  contact with one another remained connected. The truth 
  behind this ‘law’ is that quantum entanglement is very real 
  and thus part of an object can be used to locate or view the 
  whole, just as an object that has been in proximity to the 
  target can be used to view the target or the individuals who 
  have touched it. A page from a report can be used to find 
  either the rest of the report or whoever read the report. A 
  paperclip or staple the was used on a document also can be 
  used to find the document, as can a paperclip or staple from 
  the same packet as the paperclip or staple used in the report. 
  There are three versions of the sympathetic magic ritual, 
  depending upon the level that the spell is cast. Each of 
  these different versions of the spell requires a different 
  casting of the ritual. 
  
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  Level One: The lowest level sympathetic magic can locate 
  the target. All the sorcerer needs is a map and a sympathetic 
  link to the target and the procedure works as well as a 
  locator bug (see page 100) on the target.
  Level Two: This spell allows the sorcerer to see current 
  images of the target and whatever the target is attached 
  to or touching. Recording magically created images on the 
  screen they manifest on is often very difficult and so the 
  sorcerer usually use some type of camera to record these 
  images. Using this spell, a single paperclip could be used to 
  allow the sorcerer to read an entire report.
  Level Three: This spell allows the sorcerer to see images 
  of the most recent individuals that touched the target. 
  The sorcerer can specify the spell so that it only shows 
  individuals who touched the target during a certain time 
  period. This spell only reveals an image of the individual 
  when they touched the target but if they touched the target 
  multiple times during the time period being investigated, 
  then all of these images appear.
  Depending upon what it is being used for, this level three 
  spell can be dangerous. Offensive wards (see page 146) can 
  be set to be triggered by sympathetic magic used to attempt 
  to view or locate the subject. This type of countermeasure 
  will almost certainly damage or destroy some of the 
  equipment used for the sympathetic magic ritual but will 
  not harm the sorcerer, if they are sufficiently well warded. 
  However, sorcerers who attempt to save time by forgoing 
  wards or using lower-power wards can end up injured, dead 
  or worse if they attempt to use this spell on someone with 
  a sufficiently powerful offensive ward.
  Summoning & Banishing
  Level: Two to Five (for summoning) or One to Four (for 
  banishing)
  Casting Time: Two minutes per level for level two to four 
  summonings. Level five summonings require three days to 
  complete. 
  Banishings require two turns per level for level one to three 
  banishings and three hours for level four banishings.
  These spells all involve either bringing entities from other 
  dimensions into our own universe or forcing such entities to 
  swiftly depart back to their home dimension or, in any case, 
  to depart to someplace that is not here. Like many spells, 
  summoning spells can be performed at different levels, with 
  a minimum level of two. Sorcerers must cast a spell equal 
  to the level of the entity they wish to summon. A sorcerer 
  wishing to summon a level three entity must perform a level 
  three summoning. 
  One of the most useful facts about summoning is that the 
  nature of trans-dimensional mathematics is such that most 
  summoned entities are bound to obey certain strictures 
  when they are summoned. Most cannot lie and also must 
  abide by the terms of any deal they make. In general, these 
  entities loathe such limitations and do their best to follow 
  them to the exact letter and no further. Also, it is not only 
  possible but highly recommended that summoners place 
  one or more geases on any summoned entity to force it to 
  obey orders and to keep it from exceeding the parameters 
  of its mission. The type of entities that can be summoned 
  depends upon the level of the spell. 
  Level Two Summonings: Summoned creatures have 
  simple but powerful needs and desires and can inhabit 
  animals, corpses or humans. These creatures can be given 
  simple commands but are typically no more intelligent than 
  a particularly smart dog or cat. In many cases, possession 
  by a level two entity is temporary and can be reversed. The 
  feeders in the night are an example of this type of entity. 
  When they possess humans, type two entities usually are 
  usually clumsy and very inexperienced at using human 
  bodies and cannot speak. 
  Level Three Summonings: This level summons powerful 
  entities of nearly human intellect. These creatures are 
  highly dangerous. They can speak and understand all 
  normal human speech and operate human bodies with 
  ease. Alternately, this level of spell can be used to physically 
  summon entities with relatively normal physical bodies. 
  This later use is identical to a level three gate. 
  Level Four Summonings: Summon powerful and highly 
  intelligent creatures capable of complex planning. They are 
  at least as intelligent as humans and can be exceptionally 
  dangerous to deal with but also exceptionally useful. 
  Alternately, this level of spell can be used to physically 
  summon exotic entities that have physical bodies made of 
  energy or which cannot exist fully in our dimension. This 
  second use of this spell is simply a level three gate that has 
  been adapted to physically summon beings made of exotic 
  and (in our universe at least) unnatural forms of matter. 
  Level Five Summonings: Summon weakly godlike entities 
  cable of ruling or destroying the entire world. Any attempt 
  to summon such a being is a serious violation of Laundry 
  regulations and all such attempts are subject to review by 
  the Auditors. Unlike previous types of entities, there is 
  no difference between an attempt to physically or non-
  physically summon a weakly godlike entity, because they can 
  either bring their physical body along with them or create it 
  from local materials. Level five summoning always require a 
  seven full days of work to complete. 
  Summoning Non-Physical Entities
  Non-physical entities normally require an active summoning 
  grid to maintain their presence in this dimension. In effect, 
  the sorcerer keeps the entity in this world by continuing 
  to power the same summoning that brought it here. This 
  works out well if the sorcerer has both a battery backup 
  and an emergency generator in case the power fails briefly. 
  Otherwise, if the summoned creature is doing something 
  vital, then a blown circuit breaker or bad storm could 
  suddenly leave the sorcerer with something vital being 
  undone. If the summoning grid is disrupted or turned off, 
  the entity instantly vanishes.
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  Once summoned, non-physical entities require a ‘home’, 
  which can be anything from an old soda bottle to an 
  advanced super computer. The sorcerer can summon a 
  non-physical extra-dimensional entity into almost anything. 
  Once in its new home, the entity can operate, controlling 
  the computer and its peripherals or cause the soda bottle 
  or office chair to bounce around or roll, unless restrained. 
  If anyone was foolish enough to summon a non-physical 
  entity into a car, it could operate the car, at least as long as 
  the summoning grid continued to operate.
  Possession
  There is unfortunately, one place where many summoned 
  entities can find a stable and comfortable home where they 
  need not fear being sent back if the power fails or someone 
  spills coffee on a circuit – inside good old human brainmeat. 
  The downside of doing this is that the being usually needs to 
  evict the body’s original occupant. A few extra-dimensional 
  beings can happily inhabit the same brain as a human mind 
  and others temporarily shut down the human mind while 
  taking over the body. However, most destroy the owner’s 
  mind in the process of taking over the body. 
  Once safely ensconced in a human brain, level two through 
  four entities can happily reside in our reality indefinitely. 
  Most of them can also jump from one body to another and 
  gladly do so, unless restrained by a geas or other binding. 
  Tattooing a body with such a geas or surgically implanting a 
  small titanium plaque containing the geas before summoning 
  an entity into that body is highly advisable. The only other 
  options to inhabiting a person is inhabiting an animal or a 
  corpse. 
  Only level two and level three entities can inhabit corpses or 
  non-human mammals. Level four entities can only possess 
  creatures with complex, fully intact neural structures. 
  However, entities like the feeders in the night can inhabit 
  almost any mammal, dead or alive and a few summoned 
  beings can only inhabit animals. 
  One of the more disturbing facts about possession is that 
  some of entities physically transform the creature they are 
  possessing. The exact details of how and why this process 
  occurs are matters best left to half-mad theoreticians, but the 
  practical fact is that after an entity has inhabited a body for 
  somewhere between a few days and a few weeks, the body 
  often begins to transform, becoming something strange 
  and disturbing. Such transformations can include growing 
  poisonous fangs, scales or similar details of appearance. 
  These transformations do not change the basic shape and 
  structure of the possessed individual – a possessed human 
  will always remain an upright, four-limbed biped. However, 
  it can transform someone into something truly hideous. 
  Also, these changes usually persist after the entity has been 
  banished from the body.
  Consequences of  Possession
  Most level two entities merely shove the original occupant, 
  aka the person who normally lays claim to that body, 
  off to the side. If such beings are banished, then the 
  original inhabitant recovers, although a fair amount of 
  psychotherapy and perhaps some anti-psychotics are likely 
  involved. Surviving being possessed by a level two entity 
  requires a SAN roll. Failure costs the subject 1d10 SAN 
  and success still costs 1d6 SAN – being possessed is serious 
  business.
  A few level three entities can also either temporarily take 
  over human bodies or share the body with the original 
  owner. However, most level three and all level four entities 
  core humans like apples and if they are banished, usually 
  only an empty husk remains. If you are lucky enough to 
  be possessed by a level three or four entity that does not 
  eat your soul, it still costs 1d10/3d10 SAN. The Laundry 
  acquires more than a few of its residual human resources 
  this way. Class Five entities are weakly godlike beings and 
  are fortunately far too large and hideously complex to 
  inhabit a human brain. 
  Summoning Physical Entities
  Summoning physical entities is inherently more difficult, 
  since it requires opening a level three gate. Also, as was 
  mentioned earlier, most physical entities cannot survive in 
  our reality without the presence of an active summoning 
  grid to maintain a zone that is subject to the physical laws 
  of both dimensions and thus where it can exist. The only 
  exceptions are a few specific entities like Black Dogs that 
  can exist in our dimension on their own. Most of these 
  powerful entities require level four summoning spells. 
  
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  Banishing
  Banishing is the act of forcing an extra-dimensional entity, 
  either physical or non-physical, to depart from our world. 
  All banishings require the creation of a banishment grid or 
  diagram, which is essentially a somewhat simpler inverse 
  of a summoning grid. The difficulty is that the possessed 
  being or summoned entity must come into physical contact 
  with the banishment grid in order to be banished. This is a 
  simple matter if the sorcerer has the creature or possessed 
  person trussed up like a Christmas goose, but rather more 
  difficult if it is running loose. However, various options like 
  hiding the grid under a rug, printing it onto a glove or even 
  bullets micro-tooled with banishment grids all work quite 
  well, except that the bullets are strongly not recommended 
  when dealing with any sort of temporary possession. 
  Many entities do not need to be banished, in fact, the 
  problem is keeping them from spontaneously returning 
  home, either because they wish to do so or because they 
  are sufficiently alien to our cosmos that they cannot 
  remain without help. Most summoned physical entities 
  are kept in our world using some magical construct like a 
  carefully drawn circle containing a Dho-Na curve or, more 
  commonly these days, a Dho-Na circuit connected to a 
  computer. These entities either die or vanish (depending 
  upon how alien their home cosmos is, anything too alien 
  vanishes) the instant the diagram or circuit keeping them 
  here is disrupted. Banishing spells affect both physical and 
  non-physical entities. 
  Rules: Banishing spells are easier than summoning spells, 
  because they work with, rather than against the physical 
  laws keeping universes and their inhabitants separate from 
  one another. As a result, banishing an entity requires a 
  banishing spell with a level that is one less than the level of 
  the spell needed to summon them. A sorcerer attempting 
  to summon a level two spirit, like one of the feeders in the 
  night, would only need to use a level one banishing spell. 
  A creature may not resist a banishing spell of equal or higher 
  level; however, it may try to resist a lower-level banishing 
  spell. Match the creature’s POW against the spell’s POW 
  on the Resistance table. If successful, the creature clings to 
  this reality. 
  Wards
  Level: One to Four
  Casting Time: One turn per level for personal and 
  offensive wards, two minutes per level for area wards.
  Wards are one of the most commonly used types of spell. 
  Wards have two uses, they protect the user, or an area, 
  against hostile magic and they actively defend areas against 
  unwanted intrusion. These two different types of wards are 
  referred to as protective and offensive wards respectively. 
  Protective Wards
  Protective wards are an essential part of performing almost 
  any type of magic. When performing almost any powerful 
  magical operation, especially summonings, sorcerers are 
  strongly advised to use some form of protective ward. This 
  ward keeps an angry, hungry or overly ambitious extra-
  dimensional entity from eating a sorcerer’s body or their soul. 
  Protective wards do this either by protecting the sorcerer 
  from attack or by trapping the entity into a confined space. 
  In addition to being useful when summoning, protective 
  wards protect the target from hostile magic or uncontrolled 
  releases of thaumic energy.
  Area Wards
  Area wards are both easier to construct and almost always 
  more powerful than personal wards, but they only ward a 
  single enclosed area. Everyone inside the area is protected 
  but stepping outside the warded area instantly removes the 
  ward’s protection. The most well known type of stationary 
  protective ward is the warding pentacle. However, larger 
  stationary wards are possible, including protective wards 
  that surround entire buildings. Buildings occupied by 
  occult intelligence agencies are almost always protected by 
  area wards. Casting an area ward requires the magician to 
  mark out the area to be warded in some fashion, such as 
  by drawing a line around the location with a conductive 
  pen, stringing a loop of telephone cable in a circle around 
  a room or adding additional circuits to a building’s interior 
  wiring.
   
  Rules: Area wards are very simple affairs. Each ward has a 
  POW score. Protective wards automatically and fully protect 
  against all magic with a POW that is less than or equal to the 
  ward’s. Higher level spells pass without hindrance but the 
  wards remain operative even after being penetrated by such 
  a spell and continues to protect the location against lower 
  POW spells. Area wards protect against all spells, hostile 
  or not. Area wards also protect against the thaumic energy 
  released by an uncontrolled grounding of a haunting. Area 
  wards have a maximum diameter of 10 metres multiplied 
  by their level; use the Increasing Spell Area table on page 
  134 to create larger area wards. Area wards last until the 
  markings that the sorcerer made to designate the area are 
  physically broken. These markings are protected from 
  magical attacks by the warding they create. If the warding 
  marks are physically built into a structure, then they persist 
  until that building is destroyed. 
  Protective Pentacles
  One common variant of the area ward is the protective 
  pentacle. This type of ward protects against extra-
  dimensional entities. These wards are often pentacle shaped 
  and regardless of thatt, they are normally called pentacles 
  or protective pentacles. Protective pentacles do not protect 
  against magical attack. Also, these wards only protect against 
  such intrusions in one direction. One protective pentacle 
  could be designed to keep extra-dimensional entities inside 
  it, while another could be designed to keep such entities 
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  from entering. When casting Summoning spells, careful 
  sorcerers always summon the entity into a protective 
  pentacle designed to keep it inside, while they stand in a 
  protective pentacle designed to keep extra-dimensional 
  entities from entering. It is possible to stack protective 
  pentacles, so that an area can be protected by two, one that 
  keeps extra-dimensional entities from entering and another 
  that keeps them from leaving. 
  Rules: Protective pentacles automatically stop the passage 
  of any extra-dimensional entity that can be summoned 
  by a spell with a level no higher than the pentacle’s level. 
  So, a level three protective pentacle can imprison a being 
  summoned by a level three summoning but does nothing 
  to stop the progress of a being that can only be summoned 
  using a level four summoning spell. Protective pentacles 
  always require a source of power to operate and fail the 
  instant that the power is cut or the physical structure of 
  the ward is damaged. Entities stopped by the ward cannot 
  attempt to damage the ward’s physical structure.
  Personal Wards
  Personal wards are weaker but they are also mobile. If you 
  cast a personal ward on yourself, it protects you wherever 
  you go, thus making them an essential part of the occult 
  repertoire of the field operative. Most experienced field 
  operatives carry manufactured wards and only use this spell 
  when they happen to be without this item.
  Rules: As with area wards, every personal ward automatically 
  and fully protects the subject against all spells and thaumic 
  energy releases with a level that is equal to or lower than 
  the ward’s level. However, if the level of the spell is equal 
  to the level of the ward, then the wearer must make a Luck 
  roll. If this roll fails, then the level of the ward is reduced 
  by one. Personal wards can also protect against higher level 
  spells and thaumic energy releases but they automatically 
  fail immediately after doing so and must be recast. Because 
  personal wards must be mobile, they are inherently unstable 
  and last no more than their level in hours before they must 
  be recast. Like area wards, personal wards protect against all 
  spells, regardless of whether the spell is hostile or helpful. 
  Casting a personal ward requires one turn per level.
  Personal wards also protect against non-physical entities 
  in exactly the same way; a level two demon cannot break 
  through the protection of a level three ward and a level 
  three demon would force the wearer to make a Luck roll to 
  prevent the ward from degrading.
  Offensive Wards
  Offensive wards guard regions against unwanted intrusion by 
  producing some sort of magical effect if they are breached. 
  Employees of the Laundry must obtain prior approval for 
  all offensive wards that harm or otherwise directly affect 
  human intruders. Laundry regulations only allow sorcerers 
  to cast level one and two offensive wards without prior 
  approval. These spells do not harm intruders, they either 
  notify the caster of the fact that a location experienced 
  an unwanted intrusion or provides the sorcerer with the 
  identity of the intruder. Any use of unauthorised offensive 
  wards that causes injury to any innocent civilians or loyal 
  Laundry personnel is grounds for an immediate inquiry by 
  the Auditors and may result in serious consequences. In 
  other words, do not put dangerous wards in your workspace 
  or your computer unless you get approval or you have 
  excellent reason to believe that your co-workers are traitors 
  or possessed.
  Of course, there is another name for offensive wards – 
  curses. The room or gadgets you place a ward on need not 
  be your own. It is just as easy – assuming the sorcerer can 
  get access to it, to place an offensive ward on someone’s 
  bed or on their favourite shirt. Such a ward might cause 
  anyone who touches either to have their head burst into 
  flame. More careful magicians craft the ward to only kill the 
  next person who touches it and hope they do not incinerate 
  someone’s housekeeper by accident. 
  The only differences between an offensive ward and a curse 
  are how it is targeted and how difficult it is to get official 
  approval for casting it. In the case of curses, unless they 
  are tasked with magical wetwork, the chances of operatives 
  getting approval to use a lethal curse on someone is 
  essentially nil – the Laundry frowns on murderous sorcerers, 
  unless it has employed them specifically as a murderous 
  sorcerer and I do my best to avoid spending time with those 
  sorts of people. 
  Spell Modifiers: Offensive wards normally affect only the 
  next target that touches them. It is possible to cast such a 
  ward so that it affects everyone who touches it and lasts 
  until it is dispelled but doing so increases the level of the 
  spell by one. 
  Rules: Offensive wards are designed to affect a single 
  object – the door of a room, a computer, a car… If a door 
  is protected by an offensive ward but the wall next to it is 
  not, then breaking a hole in the wall is perfectly safe and 
  will not set of the ward. Wards can be designed to affect 
  everyone who touches them, or to only affect humans or 
  extra-dimensional beings, but they cannot be made more 
  specific than that. Also, sorcerers are free to include a list of 
  individuals who can safely touch the object and not set off 
  the ward. Sorcerers typically include themselves on the list, 
  and sorcerers working for the Laundry usually also include 
  everyone carrying a warrant card, or a specific list of high-
  ranking individuals. Casting an offensive ward requires one 
  minute per level.
  The effects of the ward depends upon the level. 
  Level One: The ward can only notify the sorcerer that an 
  intruder has passed through it. 
  Level Two: The ward can also provide the sorcerer with an 
  image of the intruder and a record of anything they said or 
  did when passing through the ward.
  Level Three: The ward can completely paralyse the 
  intruder’s voluntary muscles for up to one hour or cause 
  them to suffer 2d6 of damage – the type of damage depends 
  on the wishes of the sorcerer.
  
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  14 SorCery
  Level Four: The ward can instantly kill any human intruder 
  or do 3d6+6 of damage to any extra-dimensional being. 
  Alternately, the ward can create an explosion that causes 
  2d6 damage to anyone within four metres of the ward. Use 
  the Increasing Spell Area table on page 134 to increase the 
  area of this damage. This effect can be designed to affect 
  everyone within this distance of the ward or only everyone 
  on the same side of the ward as the individual who activated 
  it.
  RTFG – Tomes, Grimoires and Magical 
  Texts
  Any self-respecting occult has a whole shelf of impressive-
  looking occult tomes, bound in blackened leather or human 
  skin and written by long-dead and long-winded madmen. 
  The fabled Necronomicon, Von Junzt’s Unspeakable Cults, the 
  Book of  Eibon, the blasphemous King in Yellow and the deeply 
  confusing Bumper Book of  Bugg-Shash… read them all and 
  you have got a headache and not much else. Most of the 
  people who wrote about the Mythos were insane, which 
  means the books jump around, contradict themselves, use 
  nonsensical metaphors and tend to go off on wild paranoid 
  tangents, usually about the Jews or lizard people or aliens 
  from Sirius talking through the author’s fillings. The Laundry 
  has collected many such occult tomes and researchers have 
  done their best to extract actual useful information from the 
  occult ramblings. 
  There is another set of modern grimoires, which are a lot 
  more comprehensible and useful; these were written by 
  serious, pipe-smoking mathematicians and computational 
  sorcerers, like Alan Turing and Donald Knuth. Modern 
  occult textbooks are incomprehensible to anyone without 
  a strong knowledge of mathematics but are not quite as 
  deranged and rambling as older books.
  Reading a grimoire may increase the reader’s Cthulhu 
  Mythos or Sorcery score and grant experience rolls to other 
  skills (such as Knowledge (History), Knowledge (Occult) 
  or a Language). It takes days or weeks to read a book 
  thoroughly.
  A character may skim a book in a few hours; skimming a 
  book gives no Cthulhu Mythos or Sorcery increases but 
  does give an idea of what the book contains and can reveal 
  important clues. 
  Some books list a minimum skill requirement; a character 
  without the listed skill cannot read the grimoire but can 
  skim through it. Books in a foreign language can only be 
  read by a character who knows that language.
  Notable Grimoires
  Necronomicon: Written in the 8th Century by the ‘Mad 
  Arab’ Abdul Al-Hazred (who was famously devoured by an 
  invisible monster in Damascus), the original Necronomicon 
  (Al-Azif) was a treatise on symbolic logic and language, 
  algebra of the mind prefiguring Boole by 1,000 years. 
  Later writers added a lot more nonsense and speculation 
  but the original book was a milestone in computational 
  demonology.
  Nameless Cults: Von Junzt’s encyclopaedia of cults and 
  sorcerers; starts off fairly stable but goes severely Stockholm 
  Syndrome towards the end.
  Cthaat Aquadingen: A treatise on BLUE HADES; far 
  too much information on the mating practices of the Deep 
  Ones for comfort.
  De Vermiis Mysteriis: ‘Mysteries of the Worm’; contains 
  the earliest known references of K-Syndrome and the use 
  of computation-by-hand as a method of reducing risk.
  The Art of  Computer Programming, Volume 4: The 
  fourth instalment of the series, discussing the Turing 
  Theorem and its implications. The original version was 
  suppressed; a severely expurgated version was released in 
  2005, where the original content is hinted at in Section 7.9.
  Weird Tales Collection: All of HP Lovecraft’s tales of 
  horror, including the suppressed stories like The Invisible 
  Planet or What Was Beheld.
  Memoirs of  SOE: A collection of essays and interviews 
  with SOE staff, compiled by a unit historian. Never 
  published outside the Laundry.
  Atrocity Archive Collection: Copies of documents and 
  reports relating to the Ahnenerbe occult research, together 
  with interviews with captured German researchers. 
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  Book
  Year
  Language
  Time
  Sanity 
  Loss
  Mythos
  Sorcery
  Skill Requirement
  Al-Azif
  730
  Arabic
  68 
  weeks
  1d10/2d10
  +15%
  +20%
  Knowledge (Linguistics) 
  60%, Knowledge 
  (Occult) 30%
  Necronomicon 
  (Theodoras 
  Philetas)
  950
  Greek
  68 
  weeks
  1d10/2d10
  +17%
  +8%
  Knowledge (Occult) 
  50%
  Necronomiccon 
  (Olaus Wormius)
  1228
  Latin
  66 
  weeks
  1d10/2d10
  +16%
  +8%
  Knowledge (Occult) 
  50%
  Necronomicon 
  (Dee)
  1586
  English
  50 
  weeks
  1d10/2d10
  +15%
  +10%
  Knowledge (Occult) 
  50%, Science 
  (Mathematics) 50%
  Necronomicon 
  (Online)
  2003
  English
  30 
  weeks
  1d6/2d6
  +10%
  +5%
  Computer Use (Magic) 
  30%, Knowledge 
  (Occult) 30%
  Unausprechlichen 
  Kulten
  1839
  German 
  52 
  weeks
  1d8/2d8
  +15%
  +10%
  Knowledge (History) 
  30%, Knowledge 
  (Occult) 50%
  Nameless Cults 
  (Bridewell text)
  1845
  English
  48 
  weeks
  1d8/2d8
  +12
  +5%
  Knowledge (History) 
  30%, Knowledge 
  (Occult) 50%
  Nameless Cults 
  (Golden Goblin 
  Press)
  1909
  English
  30 
  weeks
  1d8/2d8
  +9%
  +0%
  Knowledge (History) 
  30%, Knowledge 
  (Occult) 50%
  Cthaat 
  Aquadingen
  11/12th 
  century
  Latin
  46 
  weeks
  1d8/2d8
  +13%
  +6%
  Knowledge (Natural 
  history) 30%
  Cthaat 
  Aquadingen 
  14th 
  century
  Middle 
  English
  29 
  weeks
  1d4/2d4
  +6%
  +4%
  Knowledge (Natural 
  history) 30%
  De Vermiis 
  Mysteriss
  1542
  Latin
  22 
  weeks
  1d4/1d10
  +12%
  +10%
  Knowledge (Occult) 
  40%, Science 
  (Thaumaturgy) 25%
  Art of Computer 
  Programming, 
  Vol. 4
  1982
  English
  25 
  weeks
  1/1d4
  +5%
  +10%
  Computer Use 
  (Programming) 25%
  Art of Computer 
  Programming, 
  Vol. 4
  2005
  English
  16 
  weeks
  0/1d4
  +0%
  +5%
  Computer Use 
  (Programming) 25%
  Weird Tales 
  Collection
  1939
  English
  4 
  weeks
  1d6/1d10
  +12%
  +0%
  Memoirs of SOE
  1950
  English
  4 
  weeks
  1d4/1d6
  +5%
  +5%
  Atrocity Archive 
  Collection
  1966
  German
  8 
  weeks
  1d6/2d6
  +10%
  +10%
  Science (Thaumaturgy) 
  30%
  
  149
  15 SeCurITy
  Human Resources Advisory #2008-432
  This document replaces HRA #2003-654 and HRA #1999-332
  This document is intended for personnel of all levels, with a special emphasis on field 
  operations. If you are certificated for field operations and have completed the requisite 
  courses (see Field Operations Certification Requirement (Revised)), you must confirm 
  your reading of this document by filing a signed form TH-433 with your line manager 
  before you will be registered as an active field officer. 
  ‘In the Laundry we supposedly pride ourselves 
  on our procedures. We’ve got procedures for 
  breaking and entering offices, procedures for 
  reporting a shortage of paper clips, procedures 
  for summoning demons from the vasty deep, 
  and procedures for writing procedures. We 
  may actually be on track to be the world’s first 
  ISO-9000 total-quality-certified intelligence 
  agency. According to our written procedure 
  for dealing with procedural cluster-fucks on 
  foreign assignment, what I should do at this 
  point is fill out form 1008.7, then drive like a 
  bat out of hell over Highway 17 until it hits 
  the Interstate, then take the turnoff for San 
  Francisco Airport and use my company credit 
  card to buy the first available seat home. 
  Not forgetting to file Form 1018.9 (‘expenses 
  unexpectedly incurred in responding to a 
  situation 1008.7 in the line of duty’) in time 
  for the end of month accounting cycle.’
  — The Atrocity Archives
  Security 
  Best Practice Guide
  
  150
  Security For…
  Security is paramount! You must be aware of 
  security and safety regulations at all times. 
  Never reveal information to any individual 
  without the requisite security clearance. If 
  in doubt, check first. Always be aware of any 
  confidential documentation or material and 
  keep it under lock and key. 
   
  You:
  •	
  Keep your personal ward on hand at 
  all times. While the probability of being 
  subjected to hostile magic is remote, 
  your exposure to thaumic fields may 
  result in minor supernatural incidents 
  outside of working hours. For more 
  information, see the advisory on thaumic 
  field exposure and the need for annual 
  exorcisms.  
  •	
  Keep your warrant card on hand at all 
  times. The warrant card should be kept 
  inside a wallet or purse and this container 
  should then be closed so the card is 
  visible only when in use. Leaving the card 
  exposed is a security breach and can be 
  dangerous – the low-level glamours that 
  cause non-sanctioned individuals to 
  perceive the card as a passport or other 
  conventional identity card are rated only 
  for 60 seconds of exposure. Never enter 
  a secure premises without your warrant 
  card – you will NOT be recognised by 
  security and force may automatically be 
  exercised in response.
  •	
  Personal hygiene and grooming is 
  vital for all Laundry personnel. Your 
  appearance must meet approved dress 
  codes and hygiene requirements. You 
  must also track any bodily fluids (blood, 
  semen, urine and so forth) or other 
  biological matter (hair, sanitary towels, 
  soiled tissues and so forth) that might 
  be used as a link for sympathetic magic. 
  Only use approved medical facilities; 
  log any injuries or other fluid losses 
  with your manager. Only use bathroom 
  facilities in cleared premises, such 
  as the workplace, secure homes or 
  high-traffic public locations where any 
  sympathetic trace would be instantly 
  diluted. If convenient secure disposal 
  facilities are not available, then place 
  the matter in a sample bag and bring 
  to waste management. Please note 
  that bags of waste should be brought 
  to the Waste Management, Recycling, 
  Incineration and Dispersal Office and 
  not left at Human Resources.  
  •	
  Never discuss your work with civilians. 
  Approved cover stories should be used 
  at all times. Non-secure workplace-
  related matters may be discussed 
  with other personnel. Secure matters 
  (covered by codeword) should obviously 
  only be discussed with other personnel 
  who share that codeword. 
  •	
  If you are trained in mathematical 
  mapping of Dho-Na curves, commonly 
  referred to as ‘sorcery’, then the 
  contents of your mind are considered 
  classified under the Official Secrets Act, 
  Section III and may not be exported 
  without permission. Furthermore, you 
  are asked to remain focussed at all 
  times; excessive mental rumination on 
  such topics may result in accidental 
  invocations or summonings within the 
  confines of your skull (see H&S Directive 
  2061.1, ‘Dealing with K-Syndrome’). 
  It is advised that you keep your mind 
  occupied at all times; why not fill in your 
  timesheet instead of idly contemplating 
  the mathematical abyss?
  •	
  Document everything! Provide written 
  reports of any field operations or travel 
  within two weeks and circulate copies 
  to your superior, the Archives and any 
  stakeholders. 
  Documenting 
  ensures 
  there is a continuity of operational 
  knowledge and also provides early 
  warning of possession or K-Syndrome 
  cases.
  At Home
  Your home has been checked for: 
  o surveillance devices 
  o hazards, including asbestos, 
  electrical faults, gas leaks, 
  structural problems 
  o glyphs, gateways, thaumic 
  resonances, 
  and your immediate neighbours have been 
  vetted. 
  
  151
  15 SeCurITy
  •	
  Your home has been equipped with: 
  o a deadbolt and a reinforced lock 
  on all exterior doors. 
  o an alarm system that will 
  automatically alert security if 
  triggered. 
  o a level two Warding spell. 
  o a telephone line and broadband 
  connection. 
  If any of these are damaged, they must be 
  repaired by an approved contractor and costs 
  may be billed to the resident.
  •	
  Inform Internal Security of any changes 
  to your home. These include: 
  o any building work, extensions 
  or repairs, including plumbing, 
  heating and so on.
  o any new electronic devices, 
  especially telecommunications 
  devices, which might conceal a 
  listening device .
  o any changes to neighbouring 
  buildings or public works within 
  close range of your home.
  •	
  Inform Internal Security of any deliveries, 
  unusual visitors, potential surveillance 
  or unexplained events. Ensure you 
  check the identity of any callers (and 
  remember, a ‘trusted friend’ could be 
  an enemy agent under a glamour). Be 
  especially wary of any workmen who 
  could be installing listening devices. 
  •	
  Personnel are strictly forbidden from 
  invoking entities of class two or higher.
  •	
  Personnel are strictly forbidden from 
  bringing Residual Human Resources 
  home 
  under 
  any 
  circumstances, 
  especially dinner parties.  
  At Work
  All 
  department 
  facilities 
  are 
  considered 
  Sensitive as per the Security Management 
  Working Group designation. This means the 
  following security protocols are in use:
  o Employees must present their 
  warrant cards to the desk officer. 
  Failure to present a valid warrant 
  card may result in detention or 
  other consequences.
  o All visitors must be accompanied 
  by an employee and must sign 
  the visitors’ book immediately 
  upon arrival. 
  o All entrances are monitored by 
  security cameras. 
  o Metal detectors and true-seeing 
  scanners are in place at all 
  entrances.
  •	
  Some facilities are considered Secure; 
  this category includes but is not limited 
  to 
  management 
  offices, 
  records 
  department, 
  armouries, 
  summoning 
  chambers, 
  executive 
  bathrooms, 
  storage vaults and security checkpoints. 
  This means the following security 
  precautions are in use:
  o Doors must be kept locked at all 
  times when not in use.
  o Class III offensive wards are in 
  place, keyed to the standard 
  warrant card. Entering such a 
  location without a warrant card 
  will trigger the ward.
  o The location may be under 24 
  hour surveillance by security 
  cameras.
  o The location may be under 
  24 hour protection by lamia or 
  other summoned entities.   
  o Visitors are not permitted in 
  High-Security locations.
  o Personnel may be subject to 
  random identity confirmation 
  checks.
  •	
  Some facilities are considered Highly 
  Secure; this category includes but is not 
  limited to the secure archives, director’s 
  manor 
  and 
  codeword 
  clearance 
  locations. This means the following 
  security precautions are in use:
  o All access is controlled from 
  inside or by invocation.
  o All personnel entering the 
  location will be subject to 
  identity confirmation.
  o Class four offensive wards are 
  in place, keyed to passphrases, 
  titles or tokens. Entering 
  a location without ritual 
  precautions may result in dire 
  consequences including, but not 
  limited to, death. 
  o The location is under 24 hour 
  armed guard.
  
  152
  o The location is under 24 
  hour surveillance by security 
  cameras.
  o The location is under watch by 
  intercessor entities of Class 
  three or higher.
  •	
  Keep your desk and workplace tidy at 
  all times. A messy cubicle is an insecure 
  cubicle. Secure documents should be 
  kept inside a folder or document safe 
  when not in use. 
  •	
  All computers should be password-
  protected using a password of at least 
  264 bit entropy. When using email, do 
  not open unknown attachments or click 
  on unsolicited links. Use of external 
  storage devices (floppy disks, CDRW, 
  usb drives and so on) is forbidden. 
  •	
  All phone calls should be made through 
  the Switchboard. This helps ensure that 
  personal calls are correctly billed to you 
  instead of your departmental budget 
  and also protects against demonic 
  possession via the telephone network. 
  How to use your…
  All assigned equipment remains the property 
  of your department and you are responsible for 
  its care and maintenance. In the event that an 
  item of assigned equipment is lost or damaged, 
  you may be liable for the cost of replacement. 
  You are also responsible for the proper use of 
  assigned equipment. 
  Warrant Card
  Your warrant card is your official identity card. 
  Without it, you may not be perceived as an 
  authorised individual and subject to security 
  precautions such as brain-eating demons.
  •	
  Passively, your warrant card will appear 
  to be a passport or other unremarkable 
  identity card if glimpsed by a member 
  of the public (i.e. someone who has not 
  signed the Official Secrets Act, Section 
  III).
  •	
  If presented forcefully, your warrant card 
  will appear to be a document granting 
  you authority over observers. This is 
  coupled with the geas effect compelling 
  obedience. 
  •	
  Your warrant card may be used to place 
  a temporary geas on any individual, 
  compelling them to keep silent or even 
  forget.
  •	
  Excessive use of the warrant card geas 
  may cause unwanted side effects and/or 
  mental trauma. Relying on the warrant 
  card 
  for 
  significant 
  psychological 
  reorientation is not recommended.
  •	
  Use of the warrant card for personal 
  gain or amusement is not permitted.
  •	
  Do not fold your warrant card. 
  •	
  Do not write on your warrant card. 
  Personal Ward
  Your personal ward is your first line of defence 
  against hostile effects. Depending on the 
  configuration and rating of your ward, it 
  may protect you against spells, possession, 
  summoned entities, offensive weapons and 
  or other hazards. Use of the ward will drain 
  its protective properties; you are responsible 
  for ensuring that your ward is fully functional. 
  Failure to wear an active ward in Secure or 
  Highly Secure areas is both hazardous and an 
  admission of liability. 
  •	
  Keep your ward on your person at all 
  times, ideally in contact with your skin.
  •	
  If your ward becomes unnaturally 
  warm, it is because the ward is actively 
  defending 
  you 
  against 
  a 
  magical 
  effect or because it is short-circuiting. 
  Either way, raise the alarm as soon as 
  possible. (Please ensure first that the 
  ward is actually unnaturally warm and 
  not simply heated by your body heat or 
  external heat sources such as radiators.)
  •	
  When 
  your 
  ward 
  is 
  defending 
  against sudden magical attacks, you 
  may experience a ‘thrill’ or ‘shock’. 
  Employees with heart conditions or who 
  are pregnant should inform Security 
  Management of this, so that a correctly 
  dampened ward may be issued instead. 
  (Pregnant employees should read H&S 
  Directive 4002.1 ‘Pregnancy & Related 
  Arcane Conditions’ and possibly H&S 
  4002.2 ‘Firstborn Children & the Teind’.)
  •	
  Your ward will protect you fully against 
  spells rated below the ward’s strength. 
  
  153
  15 SeCurITy
  It will give you some protection against 
  spells rated equal to the ward’s strength. 
  It will only give marginal protection 
  against spells rated above the ward’s 
  strength. 
  •	
  Remove your ward when requested 
  by superiors and when required by 
  procedures, such as exorcisms, audited 
  meetings, sensitive summonings and so 
  forth.
  •	
  Do not wear multiple wards without first 
  confirming their compatibility. Some 
  wards may interfere with each other, 
  reducing your protection instead of 
  providing a layered defence-in-depth.
  Assigned Palmtop Computer or Smartphone
  If assigned a palmtop computer or smartphone, 
  you are responsible for its protection and 
  maintenance. 
  All 
  security 
  patches 
  must 
  be installed as soon as possible. Make no 
  changes to the software on the device without 
  authorisation from Technical Support. If you 
  are certificated to install Dho-Na rasterisation 
  applications on your device, it must be blood-
  bound or otherwise warded to ensure security. 
  •	
  All computer safety protocols should be 
  observed, such as password strength, 
  email promiscuity and so on.
  •	
  Do not download any unsecure third-
  party applications.
  •	
  Do not install any unsigned digital media 
  files such as MP3s or ringtones. They 
  may contain viruses or trojans.
  •	
  While you are permitted to use your 
  device for personal tasks such as 
  personal phone calls or storing recipes, 
  you are liable for any costs incurred. 
  Be aware that any data stored on the 
  device may be deleted without notice. 
  •	
  While you are permitted to use the device 
  to generate Dho-Na effects (‘spells’) in 
  the field, you are enjoined not to use 
  magic for personal use or do anything 
  that would cause undue alarm, upset, 
  distress or confusion to any member of 
  the public. 
  •	
  If you are assigned a smartphone or 
  palmtop computer with a 3G dongle or 
  integrated 3G networking, you are not 
  permitted to bring said device outside 
  its designated network and thus incur 
  ‘roaming’ 
  charges 
  without 
  written 
  permission from Financial Control. 
  Assigned Firearm (Conventional)
  If you are certificated to carry a firearm for 
  personal protection, it must be stored carefully. 
  As a government employee with firearms 
  clearance, you are exempt from the provisions 
  of the 1987 Firearms (Amendment) Act 1997 but 
  you still must ensure that any lethal weapons 
  are kept strictly secure.
  •	
  Keep your weapon unloaded when not 
  in use. 
  •	
  Keep your weapon’s safety catch 
  engaged when not in use.
  •	
  Remember, you can use a firearm 
  effectively without discharging it; it can 
  be used to cow or threaten a hostile 
  without the need for lethal force.
  •	
  Your firearm may be equipped with 
  magical protections (personal wards, 
  invisibility, 
  trigger 
  guards, 
  demon-
  banishing 
  rounds) 
  – 
  consult 
  with 
  Armoury. 
  What to do in case of…
  Employees should consult the appropriate 
  procedural manual for full details on each of the 
  following situations – this document constitutes 
  only an emergency reference and should not 
  be considered a fully documented manual. At 
  all times, follow the LEAP methodology – Look, 
  Evaluate, Assign Priorities. 
  LOOK – Look around, orientate yourself, gather 
  information.
  EVALUATE – Evaluate the situation. What 
  do you know? Are you in danger? Are other 
  employees or civilians in danger? What are the 
  problems that must be resolved?
  ASSIGN 
  PRIORITIES 
  – 
  Determine 
  the 
  most urgent problem. Can you resolve that 
  immediately? What needs to be done before 
  you can resolve it? Break down the problem 
  into simple tasks and tackle them in order.
  
  154
  Accidental Disclosure
  If you reveal sensitive or secure information to 
  a third party:
  •	
  First attempt to take back the disclosure 
  with a suitable cover story. 
  •	
  Second, if the breach was a minor one, 
  ascertain the subject’s patriotism, fear 
  of official retribution or other willingness 
  to remain silent. Hinting that the matter 
  is a question of state security or that 
  there will be unspecified but dire 
  consequences for disclosure may be 
  enough to ensure silence.
  •	
  Third, consider using your warrant 
  card to compel silence. Can all other 
  evidence of the disclosure be erased?
  •	
  Fourth, if the disclosure is limited in 
  extent but beyond the scope of a warrant 
  card geas, call in a Plumber to erase the 
  subject’s memory.
  •	
  Fifth, if the subject has signed the 
  Official Secrets Act or possesses skills 
  or talents of potential use, they may 
  be subject to the Special Recruitment 
  Provision. Please note that abuse of 
  the Special Recruitment Provision is 
  curtailed by clause 5 – if you recruit 
  someone, you have to find them a role 
  in our organisation or their salary for life 
  comes out of your department’s budget.
  •	
  Sixth, if the subject is not suitable for 
  recruitment, contact your superiors for 
  guidance on how to proceed. 
  •	
  In all cases, a file should be opened on 
  the subject, including a full written report 
  of the disclosure. This report should be 
  circulated to your line manager, monitor 
  the press and internet for information 
  related to the breach. 
  Witnesses to Supernatural Incident
  See Accidental Disclosure and follow those 
  procedures, modified as follows:
  	 First, if the witnesses can be mollified by 
  a cover story, that cover story should be 
  backed up with documentation (such as 
  a newspaper report) within seven days. 
  	 Second, do not attempt to appeal to the 
  patriotism or other better impulses of a 
  crowd. Judging the individual characters 
  of those within a group is impossible. 
  	 Third, do not attempt to use your warrant 
  card to cast a binding to silence geas on 
  a group – it is rated for single-target use 
  only. 
  	 Fourth, Plumbers should be called to 
  deal with the witnesses. Please ensure 
  that all witnesses are kept in the same 
  area until the Plumbers arrive and 
  ensure they are unable to communicate 
  with others if possible. An entropy 
  generator field in the 600-1200 MHz 
  radio band can disable mobile phone 
  signals. Note that Plumbing costs for 
  multiple subjects require a manager’s 
  signoff. 
  	 Fifth, as per accidental disclosure but 
  note that under Financial Control’s 
  Recruitment Cost Control Directive 
  07–22, no department may increase 
  its staff total above those at the end of 
  the 05–06 financial year without board 
  approval.
  	 Sixth, if you have not already informed 
  your line manager that you have blown 
  operational security wide open in front 
  of multiple witnesses, then now might 
  be a good time. You may also wish to 
  review your life assurance and related 
  documents.
  Ritual in Progress
  While the conventional casting method for most 
  spells uses a computer or other microprocessor 
  and an electrical power source, field officers 
  should be aware that any computational 
  method can be used to draw a Dho-Na curve 
  through platonic space and any power source 
  may be used to invoke the many-angled ones. 
  ‘Traditional’ spell-casting methods involve the 
  sorcerer performing the computation (or reciting 
  a formula or mnemonic that is isomorphic to 
  the computation) and powering the spell with 
  his own will or physical health. Other known 
  methods of invocation:
  	 Singing or performing music.
  	 Drawing symbols on paper.
  	 Manipulating physical objects or tokens.
  	 Filling out paperwork.
  
  155
  15 SeCurITy
  Any computation can create a disturbance in 
  platonic ideaspace, termed a Dho-Na curve, 
  that can then be perceived by entities in other 
  dimensions. With the addition of sufficient 
  energy to establish a link between our continuum 
  and theirs, it is possible to use computation to 
  cast a spell. This formulation (the Dee-Turing 
  Theorem) is the foundation of modern occult 
  theory.
  ‘Traditional’ 
  or 
  analogue 
  spellcasting 
  is 
  usually obfuscated by what is termed ‘cruft’ – 
  unnecessary ritual elements.  There may be 
  no need for the spellcaster to smear himself in 
  fox dung, wear a particular emerald amulet or 
  sacrifice 13 children by feeding them arsenic 
  and foxglove potions in order to cast the spell 
  but the occult tradition that the caster mistakenly 
  subscribes to believes these elements are 
  required.
  Spells can even be cast with no external 
  signs, if the sorcerer is capable of performing 
  the requisite calculations in his head. Never 
  assume the absence of magic – use a thaumic 
  reading if you suspect magical activity.
  When a spell is disrupted, the magical energy 
  has to go somewhere and this may result 
  in a dangerous and violent discharge or 
  other supernatural phenomena. Unqualified 
  personnel should not attempt to terminate an 
  active spell unless there is no other course of 
  action.
  	 Always wear a fully charged personal 
  ward when dealing with active spells.
  	 Never touch any element of an 
  active spell, including the caster, the 
  summoning grid or any unnaturally 
  glowing objects. Never look into the 
  light. Pay no attention to the voices. 
  Wear non-conductive gloves. 
   
  	 A spell may be grounded by creating a 
  connection between the active element 
  and the earth. 
    
  	 If the spell is being performed by a 
  computer or other electronic device, 
  shut down or unplug the device. 
  	 If no other option is available, then 
  disrupt the locus of the spell by 
  destroying the computation device or 
  incapacitating the operator. 
  	 Never cross the line of a pentacle 
  or 
  summoning 
  grid. 
  Remember, 
  incomplete pentacles emit tentacles!
  Severe Injury or Trauma
  Contact the emergency services immediately 
  and call Switchboard immediately thereafter. 
  Switchboard will monitor emergency services 
  activity and ensure that security is maintained 
  without endangering the life of the injured 
  employee.
  •	
  Call for an ambulance. 
  •	
  Secure the area. Make sure the 
  ambulance knows where you are and 
  has a route to get to you. Make sure 
  that whatever caused the injury will not 
  interfere with medical treatment.
  •	
  Make sure the victim has an airway. 
  Make sure the tongue is not blocking 
  the windpipe. 
  •	
  Make sure the victim is breathing. 
  If the victim is not breathing, use 
  cardiopulmonary 
  resuscitation 
  by 
  exhaling into the victim’s airway and 
  rhythmically compressing the chest.
  •	
  Apply pressure to any external wounds. 
  •	
  If any wounds in the chest or neck are 
  sucking air from outside, these wounds 
  must be covered with an occlusive (air-
  tight) dressing. 
  •	
  Treat for shock by laying the patient 
  on the ground under a blanket and 
  elevating the feet.
  Possession
  Possession is an extremely difficult situation for 
  any employee. Once an External Intelligence 
  has mapped the nervous system of a human 
  victim and taken up residence in the victim’s 
  brain, there is no easy way to remove it. Your first 
  priority, then, must be to ensure the possession 
  does not spread. A single level three possessor 
  entity could spread through tens of thousands 
  of civilians in a major metropolitan area with 
  ease unless correctly restrained.
  A possessed individual may display physical 
  symptoms such as: uncoordinated movement, 
  stammering or slurred speech, excessive 
  
  156
  blinking or drooling, glowing eyes, sweat, 
  inappropriate 
  physical 
  contact 
  or 
  eating 
  brains. Many of these symptoms vanish as the 
  possessor entity learns how to control the host 
  body.
  	 Never touch a possessed individual.
  	 Never look into the eyes of a possessed 
  individual.
  	 Contact a Plumbing team immediately.
  	 If the possessor entity is an intelligent 
  one, it may attempt to masquerade as 
  the possessed individual or otherwise 
  try to deceive you. Take no chances – if 
  there is a chance that an individual is 
  possessed, assume the worst!
  	 If possible, incapacitate the possessed 
  individual but be aware that he or 
  she may have enhanced strength or 
  resilience.
  	 If no other options are available, end the 
  possession by physically disabling the 
  victim.
   
  Services Guide
  If you require specialist services from any 
  department, you may contact them through the 
  Switchboard. Any specialist service calls are 
  billable to your departmental account at Rate A 
  unless otherwise arranged.
  Plumbers 
  provide 
  exorcism, 
  counter-
  possession and geasing services.
  Baggers provide entity containment, hazardous 
  environment services and evidence collection.
  Cleaners erase physical evidence and erase 
  records. They can also sweep for surveillance 
  devices or provide technical support for 
  surveillance devices.
  Transport can provide vehicles and tickets 
  to any destination, as well as arrange 
  accommodation and documentation.
   
  Divination can provide clues or suggestions on 
  how to proceed.
  how to survive in shared accomodation:
  - exorcise regularly
  - |Get a laser-proof padlock for your room
  - never talk about work
  - never take your work home
  - develop a drinking habit
  
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  Role playing is a social activity and as geeks know, all social 
  activities are best when there are openly stated rules to avoid 
  misunderstandings, right? 
  We are not going to dictate every aspect of behaviour during 
  the game, nor are we going to insult you by covering basic 
  socialisation (deodorant is good), but there are a few things 
  that players should bear in mind when playing.
  Laundry games boil down to ‘a mismatched but more-or-
  less competent bunch of occult spies investigate Cthulhu-
  flavoured weirdness in the modern-day UK; horrible things 
  ensue until they work out a clever way to stop the bad guys.’ 
  For more on what the game should feel like, skip on to the 
  example of play on page 161.
  Roleplaying games work best when everyone in the group is 
  enthusiastic about playing the game and shares a common 
  idea of what sort of gameplay they want out of it. That does 
  not mean that everyone has to want the same thing out of 
  the game – some players play for the mystery, some for the 
  thrill of cosmic horror, some to take out their frustrations 
  on thinly disguised satires of their employers, some because 
  it is a social night in with friends – but everyone should 
  agree on the style of game that is being played. 
  A Laundry game includes some or more of these elements:
  •	 Espionage and Tradecraft: From Len Deighton 
  and John Le Carre to Bourne and Spooks; codenames, 
  undercover identities, surveillance cameras tracking 
  trench coat clad figures across railway platforms, 
  throwing off tails, double agents, cynical handlers and 
  a desperate twilight struggle for the future of the free 
  world. Paranoia, secrecy and isolation are the watchwords 
  for this sort of game.
  •	 Technothriller: Emphasising the technology, the geo-
  politics, the process and the gunporn, with lavish info 
  dumps about the exact calibre of the sniper rifle being 
  used by Two-One SAS. Lots of acronyms, codewords 
  and throwaway references. 
  •	 Investigation: Piecing together the truth of what is 
  going on by following a trail of clues. In the Laundry, 
  this often means delving into past operations and finding 
  sealed documents that hint at some greater horror 
  to come, until you finally fit together the pieces of 
  dissociated knowledge, which opens up such terrifying 
  vistas of reality, and of your frightful position therein, 
  that you shall either go mad from the revelation or flee 
  from the deadly light.
  •	 Humour meets Horror: The Laundry-verse is one 
  where henchmen joke about their upcoming IPO 
  (Install Planetary Overlord), where you can find yourself 
  trapped in a Neverwinter Nights game only be rescued by 
  your 15th level Courtesan hireling, where Santa Claus has 
  tentacles and where paperclip audits are part of an occult 
  conspiracy. Half of the characters are geeks of various 
  flavours, living in a geek house that should be familiar to 
  most readers. They act like Player Characters. Whether 
  the humour is geeky (Apple users are brainwashed by 
  glamour spells) or black (dead co-workers as zombie 
  guards, official documents that conclude ‘we remain 
  convinced that this is the best defensive posture to adopt in order to 
  minimise casualties when the Great Old Ones return from beyond 
  the stars to eat our brains’), it is important to keep the tone 
  from getting too po-faced.
  •	 Magic as Science: The Dee-Turing Theorem turns 
  magic into something that can be quantified and studied 
  scientifically (while also keeping the occasional medieval 
  phrase and grace note). Extrapolation and creative use 
  of magic is part of the fun – gadgets like the Basilisk 
  Gun or the HOG come from thinking ‘ok, what can I 
  do with this spell’ and running with it. You can also scale 
  up or down – if Ephraim Waite can transfer his mind 
  into the body of his daughter and then on to Edward 
  Derby, then you can have elite forces of body-jumping 
  Black Chamber commandoes who covertly insert behind 
  enemy lines by possessing enemy soldiers. 
  •	 Impending Doom: The whole Laundry series plays out 
  in the shadow of CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN, when 
  the stars come right and reality breaks down, letting 
  things from Outside back in. Each second brings the 
  whole world closer to the brink of esoteric Armageddon. 
  It is nuclear war or even worse. (‘There is life eternal within 
  the eater of  souls. Nobody is ever forgotten or allowed to rest in 
  peace. They populate the simulation spaces of  its mind, exploring 
  all the possible alternative endings to their life. There is a fate worse 
  than death, you know.’)
  Not every game session will involve all of these elements. 
  Communicate clearly with the other players. If you want 
  to see more of a certain aspect of the game, tell the GM. 
  Saying ‘I want more office politics and funny stuff’ works better 
  than sending telepathic signals.
  Have Fun
  You would think this should be obvious, but it is worth 
  restating anyway. Do not sabotage your own fun.
  How do players sabotage their own fun? There are lots of 
  ways.
   
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  of play
  
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  •	 Not Getting Involved: Your character might quibble 
  about being sent out on a mission to Somalia, or 
  Yuggoth, or Swindon; he might hate life in the Laundry 
  and mistrust his superiors and the other PCs but you 
  are one who is actually playing the game. Be careful of 
  playing a character who does not want to get involved. 
  Grumble in-character; enthusiastically chase the mystery 
  out of character.
  •	 Blocking The GM: Game Master is not all-knowing, 
  especially when it comes to abstruse technical fields. If 
  the GM describes something you know to be impossible 
  or implausible due to real-world knowledge (‘network 
  firewalls do not work that way’) then either bite your tongue 
  and let the inaccuracy slide, or better yet, suggest a way 
  that things could work (‘there’s no way they could have got 
  through our firewall that way… unless they had a sympathetic 
  link in to our intranet or something. Maybe there is an enchanted 
  USB stick somewhere.’) 
  •	 Blocking Other Players: Similarly, do not block other 
  players out of the action. Work with the other characters; 
  involve them in your plans. Your SAS headbreaker may 
  be the only character qualified to climb down into the 
  Vaults of Zin and chuck demo charges at the Formless 
  Spawn, but stick a webcam on your shoulder so the 
  weedy boffin PC can tag along and give you advice 
  on how not to die. If you do not trust another Player 
  Character, then come up with an elaborate double-
  cross to make them show their true colours instead of 
  knocking them out and leaving them behind. 
  •	 Giving Up: Sometimes, it seems as though the 
  mysteries are unsolvable and the odds are impossible 
  and to be honest, that is true. There are things you will 
  never understand and the odds of humanity surviving 
  in any recognisable form are a hell of a lot less than the 
  chances of anything coming from Mars… but still, you 
  have got to try. If you have stalled in an investigation, 
  then try searching for more clues or forcing something 
  to happen. If you do not know what to do next, then 
  take a risk. A lull in the action is ok; giving up is not.
  •	 Tuning Out: Similarly, pay attention to the GM and to 
  the other players. There may be scenes that your character 
  is not involved in but you should still stay focussed on 
  the game. Do not drain the creative energy of the group 
  by checking mail or reading a book. You could even start 
  an in-character conversation with another PC or make 
  everyone a cup of tea while the spotlight’s on someone 
  else. If you cannot make it to a game session, let the GM 
  know well in advance if possible.
  •	 Not Taking Things Seriously: Jokes to lighten the 
  mood are fine. Muttering ‘all your brains are belong to 
  us’ when fighting possessors – also fine. Using cutting-
  edge science and a bit of magic to turn a Smart car into 
  an amphibious assault vehicle – pushing it but ok. If 
  you crack a joke when your best friend gets eaten in 
  front of you or take the piss out of Angleton during a 
  deadly serious ‘we’re 24 hours away from the end of  the world’ 
  briefing, the mood of the game is damaged. Do not 
  interrupt the GM when he is trying to get things back on 
  track. Do not call your character Herbert Finklebottom 
  unless you want other people to treat you like the sort of 
  person who gets named Herbert Finklebottom.
  •	 Taking Things Too Seriously: Getting caught up in 
  the game is good. Getting caught up in the minutia is 
  less good. There is no need to describe all the security 
  precautions your character takes when travelling every 
  time he leaves the office or to make too much of a fuss 
  if the GM gets some background detail wrong. 
  Life in the Laundry
  The Laundry employs all sorts, from the terminally clueless 
  to occult geeks to ambitious middle managers with business 
  diplomas to Deep One hybrids to scary men with lots of 
  guns. They are all crammed into a civil service bureaucracy 
  that is more complex and mind-bending than any alien 
  horror and forced to work together. The Laundry extends 
  into every aspect of your characters’ life – those middle 
  management bureaucrats determine where you get to live, 
  who you associate with, how many bathroom breaks you 
  get and how many forms you have got to fill in before you 
  can order a pencil (hint: all of them). At least focussing on 
  the mindless tedium distracts you from the mind-numbing 
  terror. 
  The only people you can talk to about the Laundry are other 
  Laundry personnel. If your character has friends and family 
  on the outside (and you should), then you have to lie to 
  them about what you do and about what is coming.
  
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  16 exPeCTaTIonS
  The Laundry is vast and confusing. Your character knows 
  a handful of departments – where you work, Human 
  Resources, Financial Control, Internal Logistics, Internal 
  Security, Operational Oversight, Arcana Analysis – and 
  you have got phone numbers that you hope you will never 
  have to ring for the Plumbers and the Cleaners. There are 
  rumours of other sections, too. The Auditors. The Black 
  Assizes. Counter-Possession. 
  The secrets of the Laundry are all locked away behind 
  codeword clearances. If you do not have the right codeword 
  clearances, you cannot read the secret files. (Well, you can 
  try. It is just that most of them have wards that will eat your 
  brain.) The organisation takes its security seriously. You may 
  (ok, will) be dragged before the Auditors and interrogated 
  under a truth compulsion geas.
  There are benefits to being part of the Laundry. It is a job 
  for life (and beyond). The pay is not great but there is a 
  pension and subsidised housing that comes with all sorts of 
  optional extras like thaumic dampers, intrusion wards, 24 
  hour surveillance and the Plumbers on standby. Plus, you 
  just might be able to save the world. 
   The Civil Service
  As a member of the Laundry, you will get to play with cool 
  toys, flash your mind-warping warrant card around, cast 
  death spells at interesting people and save the world (or at 
  least parts of Luton) from alien monsters. You may not be 
  James Bond but you are a mysterious and stylish Man in 
  Black, right? 
  Not quite. The Laundry may technically be part of the 
  intelligence services but it is also one step above the 
  Department of Sewer Inspections and about six ranks 
  below the post office. You may be fighting to save the 
  world but your budget is approximately 50p and a pencil. 
  It is important not to get delusions of grandeur – for most 
  employees, the Laundry has all the glamour and style of the 
  most menial office job you can imagine.   
  How does this affect your character? Remember to get 
  receipts for everything. Worry about your budget and 
  timekeeping and the legal aspects of your actions. You do 
  not, for example, have a license to kill, or even a license 
  to mildly inconvenience. You cannot arrest people either, 
  at least not without an extremely good reason to do so. 
  You should worry about trespassing, about invasion of 
  privacy and about the legality of wiretapping and breaking 
  and entering. You can do all of these things, but only 
  with permission (or in extreme circumstances and, if 
  circumstances are extreme, you are expected to act on your 
  own initiative and get things done without waiting for the 
  blessings of your superiors). A cruel Game Master may 
  even dump actual paperwork on you. 
  Bizarrely, these restrictions add to the fun. It is very easy 
  for a roleplaying game to degenerate into a power fantasy, 
  where the Player Characters do whatever they want without 
  consequence or a powerless  fantasy where the characters are 
  doomed no matter what they do. The bureaucracy grounds 
  the game in an approximation of realism, giving context to 
  the weird events and bizarre missions.  
  The Chain of  Command
  ‘Bob, you can come along on this trip on one condition. 
  The condition is that if you get any of my men killed 
  by arsing around, I will personally shoot you. Do you 
  agree and understand?’
  — The Atrocity Archives
  A wise man1 said that roleplayers need to be able to make 
  their own decisions and be masters of their own fates and 
  screw-ups. In the Laundry, though, you have got two or 
  more managers and any number of bureaucratic restrictions, 
  advisories, guidelines and fully documented procedures 
  telling you what to do. 
  That does not mean that you should run every decision past 
  your managers. You are expected to have initiative and to 
  be able to take action without asking for advice every five 
  minutes. When on a mission, you should only contact head 
  office when:
  - 
  You need backup or support of a specific nature 
  (‘send in the Plumbers’).
  - 
  The situation has changed (‘you sent us out here to 
  look for kids playing with a downloaded copy of  The 
  Necronomicon, but we’ve got a class three entity loose in 
  a school and possible evidence of  a cult’).
  - 
  You are about to escalate the situation (‘boss, we’re 
  about to break into the Israeli embassy. You may want to 
  disavow all knowledge of  us.’).
  - 
  You are totally and utterly stuck (‘boss… any tips?’).
  Asking for support from your superiors every five minutes 
  is a great way to annoy them in-character and annoy the GM 
  out of character. 
  At the same time, you have to obey the chain of command. 
  Ignoring orders or failing to inform your superiors of 
  important details will get your character disciplined or 
  transferred to some job that is even worse. 
  If other Player Characters are your superiors, you are 
  expected to obey them. That does not mean that you 
  unquestioningly follow their every whim, but decisions 
  about how to proceed are theirs. (Disputes and grievances 
  should be shelved until a Human Resources-mediated 
  1 S. John Ross, in his seminal Five Elements of  Commercial 
  Appeal in Roleplaying Games essay. For the curious, the ele-
  ments are Cliché (the players have to be able to grok the 
  game easily), Combat (conflict is dramatic and lets the 
  players work as a team), Fellowship (you need a reason 
  to have a group of PCs working together), Anarchy (the 
  players need to have space to make decisions) and Enigma 
  (investigating weird stuff is fun). 
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  resolution meeting can be arranged.) If you are placed in 
  command of other Player Characters, then it is your job to 
  lead the team forward, not use the others as your personal 
  minions2.
  Your Character and Welcome to Him
  So, who is your character? You have got some idea after 
  rolling him up in Chapter 4; you know his skills and his weak 
  points, his past experience and his approach to problems. 
  You know how far he is from the brink of madness. You 
  may even have a brief biographical sketch or concept 
  (‘Bob Howard, darkside hacker. Mid-20s. Recruited after he nearly 
  summoned Nyarlathotep.’).
  That is more than enough to get started. There is no need to 
  write a 30-page biography of your character before you start 
  and there is no need to come up with a detailed breakdown 
  of his personality. There will be time to develop your 
  character in play later on. The key is being consistent – if 
  the first personality trait you establish for your character is 
  that he is paranoid, stick with that. You can tweak traits over 
  the course of the game (maybe your character did not trust 
  the other Player Characters when he first met them but he is 
  a little more at ease with them now), but do not change your 
  character’s personality without an in-game event to justify it. 
  Do not be afraid of mundanity. Not every Laundry 
  character needs to be ex-Special-Forces supersoldiers or a 
  professor of mathematics, or a sinister spook, or the subject 
  of bizarre experiments by the Fungi from Yuggoth. Most 
  of the staff are comparatively normal (or were, anyway). 
  Make your character memorable by what he accomplishes 
  over the course of the game, not by his back-story. (There 
  are exceptions to everything of course and it may turn out 
  that one of the Player Characters is a KGB deep cover 
  mole or a Deep One or comes from a parallel universe 
  where Zombie Margaret Thatcher rules with a bony fist. A 
  single outré back-story is interesting but only if it provides a 
  contrast to the normality of the other characters.)
  Roleplaying
  Try to have a clear distinction between in-character and 
  out-of-character speech. You can use a specific accent3, 
  cadence or verbal tic to make it clear that what you are 
  saying comes out of your character’s mouth. Alternatively, 
  use your body language to convey that you are in character – 
  you might lean forward in your chair and be more focussed 
  and attentive when in character. Props can help show you 
  are playing a techie character by playing with a smartphone 
  2 Do not, for example, check for wards by ordering some 
  intern to open the door of the evil wizard’s lair. That is 
  what Residual Human Resources are for.
  3 Assuming you can do an accent that does not grate after 
  10 minutes. The GM is encouraged to feed officers with 
  bad accents to the shoggoths.
  or a multitool, a bureaucrat should always have a pen in 
  hand and a cloak-and-dagger spy might check his concealed 
  shoulder holster every so often. 
  Think about what your character does when he is off duty. 
  What is his home life like? How does he relax? Does he have 
  hobbies? Relationships? Favourite drink? Favourite music? 
  What about ambitions – does he want to climb up the 
  ladder of promotions to a senior role or does he just want 
  to survive? How does he cope with the knowledge that the 
  world is a paper-thin façade over howling alien madness? 
  Some of these will never come up over the course of play 
  but consider the questions anyway – the answers will give 
  you ideas on how you should portray your character.
  Spotlight Time 
  ‘Spotlight time’ means the time in which each Player 
  Character gets a chance to shine and be the centre of the 
  action. A good GM will keep the metaphorical spotlight 
  moving from character-to-character – Phil the techie gets 
  his scene where he hacks into the bad guys’ network and 
  steals their archives, then Andrea the occult reads the bad 
  guy records and works out that they are about to summon 
  something in an ancient ruin in Orkney and finally Jimmy 
  the soldier gets to shine when the characters interrupt 
  the cult ritual with extreme prejudice. Spotlight time does 
  not mean the other characters are completely ignored, so 
  Phil and Jimmy can still kibitz and help while Andrea is 
  deciphering the cult records, but it does mean that this is a 
  moment for your character to take the lead.
  If you are in the spotlight, use it. Do something cool that 
  makes the other players pay attention to you – and if 
  possible, bounce the spotlight onto another character when 
  you have had your moment of glory. Look at the climax of 
  The Atrocity Archives – Bob figures out that setting off the 
  nuke will let the entropic entity through into our world and 
  works out a way to stop the bomb from detonating using 
  the Basilisk gun. Bob then lets another Player Character, 
  Alan Barnes, take the spotlight and be the big damn hero by 
  actually disarming the bomb4. 
  When the spotlight is off your character, you should still 
  participate – but remember that right now, you are effectively 
  the sidekick to the other player’s protagonist. 
  Spotlight time is especially important when the Player 
  Characters are separated. While modern technology does 
  mean that scattered characters can stay in touch (Player 
  Characters love their mobile phones more than 13 year 
  olds do), there will be time when the GM’s attention is on 
  one player or group of players. While the spotlight is off 
  you, you can still engage the other Player Characters in 
  conversation, discuss your next move, study the clues you 
  have assembled or complain about Human Resources. 
  4 In retrospect, ‘you get to be the guy who gets irradiated’ may not 
  be the best example of spotlight time.
  
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  16 exPeCTaTIonS
  Subplots or When Work Comes Home With 
  You
  Most sessions of the Laundry RPG follow the framework 
  of the mission. The characters are assigned a task by their 
  superiors; they investigate the mystery, follow the clues and 
  get attacked by things with N+1 tentacles, where N is the 
  number of tentacles you are comfortable with. 
  Every so often, the GM may choose to deviate from this 
  framework and that may mean a subplot focussed on your 
  character’s personal life or family. This is a chance to expand 
  your character’s background and history and to introduce 
  your co-workers to your mother (probably as they try to 
  exorcise her). Of course, not every subplot has to involve 
  the occult; as your character develops, you will find that the 
  mystery-of-the-week becomes less important and character-
  driven subplots become more common. 
  Example of  Play
  The Player Characters are following another Laundry agent, an NPC 
  called Paul Earle (codenamed ASCOT FOUR). He was on an 
  undercover mission to infiltrate a Neo-Nazi cult but the Laundry now 
  suspects he has switched sides. Note that different players have different 
  ways of  referring to their characters.
  GM: According to ASCOT FOUR’s handler, he should be 
  leaving his flat in about 10 minutes and walking to the Neo-
  Nazi headquarters. 
  Neil: Does the Laundry have any bugs or tracking devices 
  on ASCOT FOUR?
  GM: His flat is bugged but he’s not wearing a wire or 
  anything. 
  Chris: Ok, so we’ll follow him when he starts walking 
  from the flat to the cult headquarters. I’ll start tailing him, 
  then Neil’s character will take over half-way through so he 
  doesn’t get suspicious.
  Neil: Cooper requisitioned some throat mikes and radios, 
  so we’ll stay in contact.
  Denis: I guess my character will stay with the car and be 
  ready to provide backup.
  GM: Cool. You drive over to ASCOT FOUR’s residence 
  and park nearby. A moment later, you see a tall guy with a 
  shaved head emerge and start heading down the street.
  Neil: One sec, I’ll pull up a map of London on my phone.
  GM: Er, sure, why not. The GM hasn’t bothered to determine 
  exactly where ASCOT FOUR’s residence is or where the Neo-
  Nazi cult is based but he can improvise. Chris, your character is 
  following ASCOT FOUR. Make a Stealth roll, please.
  Chris: How busy is the street?
  GM: Not very – it’s a residential neighbourhood, and most 
  people have gone to work. There are two or three other 
  pedestrians and a few cars, but not much traffic overall.
  Chris: In that case, I’ll be really cautious to make sure he 
  doesn’t spot me. I’ll stay on the other side of the road and 
  watch him out of the corner of my eye.
  GM: Hmm…if you’re taking precautions like that, I’ll give 
  you a 20% bonus to your Stealth if you want – but if you 
  fail and ASCOT FOUR runs, he’ll have a big head start on 
  you.
  Chris: Sure. Ok, I roll a 55… and my Stealth is 40%, so I 
  pass thanks to that bonus.
  GM: You get a check for Stealth. ASCOT FOUR throws 
  the occasional glance around, but you don’t think he’s made 
  you. 
  Denis: Made him? What do you mean?
  GM: It’s a spy term – to identify someone undercover is to 
  ‘make’ them. Chris, you follow ASCOT FOUR down the 
  street for some time. There’s a coffee shop up ahead and – 
  Neil: Can my character Cooper be waiting in the coffee 
  shop, to pick up the tail? The characters have split up, and the 
  action was following Chris, but it’s reasonable that Neil’s character 
  would be waiting here as he said he was going to follow ASCOT 
  FOUR from half-way along his route. 
  GM: Sure. Chris, you spot Martin Cooper sitting at the 
  window of the coffee shop. As ASCOT FOUR approaches, 
  Cooper gets ready to follow him – but then ASCOT FOUR 
  turns and walks into the coffee shop.
  Neil: Is he coming towards me? 
  GM: No, he just goes up to the counter and orders a coffee. 
  Chris: Does he get a receipt?
  GM: Huh?
  Chris: Hey, we’re the Laundry. If he doesn’t get a receipt, he’s 
  in breach of regulations.
  GM: He doesn’t get a receipt. Chris, are you following 
  ASCOT FOUR in?
  Chris: No, I’ll keep walking until I’m out of sight.
  GM: Neil, you see ASCOT FOUR pick up his coffee. He 
  stops, cocks his head as if listening and then goes into the 
  toilets.
  Neil: Cooper will follow him in. 
  GM: Denis, you’re still back in the car. Your phone rings. 
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  Denis: Hello?
  GM: It’s your boss. (putting on a gruff  voice): Reilly? What’s 
  your status?
  Denis: We’re tracking ASCOT FOUR now, sir.
  GM: The police pulled a floater out of the Thames this 
  morning, Reilly. It was ASCOT FOUR. 
  Denis: But we’re… oh hell. I warn the others. Guys, 
  ASCOT FOUR may not be what he appears to – 
  GM: Neil, you’ve just followed ASCOT FOUR into the 
  toilet. As you enter, he grabs you and slams you up against 
  the ceiling with one hand. You take four points of damage; 
  give me a Luck roll.
  Neil: Failed. 
  GM: Chris, Denis, you hear a crackle from Cooper’s throat 
  mike, then he goes dead. What’re you doing?
  Neil: Trying to struggle free.
  Chris: I turn and run back into the coffee shop.
  Denis: Drive like a maniac towards the coffee shop. If 
  there’s a back entrance, I’ll head there.
  GM: Ok, Neil, you see ASCOT FOUR’s mouth open wider 
  and wider, like the jaws of a snake. His teeth have become 
  fangs and he’s lowering you down towards his mouth. Give 
  me a Sanity check.
  Neil: Failed that too. 
  GM: Lose three SAN, then roll Grapple.
  Neil: The dice hate me.
  GM: You black out. Chris, you charge into the coffee shop 
  and…?
  Chris: I run into the toilet.
  GM: Technically, you don’t know that ASCOT FOUR and 
  Cooper are in the toilet, but sure, you run up to the door. It’s 
  locked or held shut from the far side.
  Chris: Can I force it open?
  GM: What’s your Strength again? 12? ASCOT FOUR is 
  holding the door shut from the far side; the GM compares ASCOT 
  FOUR’s strength to that of  Chris’s character, then consults the 
  Resistance table to see what Chris’s chances are. Ok…you’ve a 30% 
  chance of forcing the door. Roll.
  Chris: I get a 47. Damn. I keep trying.
  Denis: Am I there yet? 
  GM: Nearly – you’re zooming down the street in the car. 
  From inside the toilet, Chris, you hear a weird sound like 
  bones cracking.
  Neil: Should I mark off Hit Points? 
  GM: Nope. Step outside for a sec, I want to tell you secretly 
  what happens to your character. 
  Neil: Cool! The pair step outside for a moment, then return.
  Chris: I keep trying to force the door.
  GM: Suddenly, whatever was holding it shut stops and you 
  burst in. Cooper’s lying on the floor, unconscious. There’s 
  no sign of ASCOT FOUR. Give me a Spot check.
  Chris: I pass.
  GM: You get a check for Spot and notice that there’s a tiny 
  window, only about a foot wide, at the back of the toilet that 
  exits onto the alleyway at the back of the coffee shop. It’s 
  the only other way out of this room.
  Chris: I radio Denis and tell him to check the alleyway. 
  ASCOT FOUR must have gone that way!
  Will Denis find ASCOT FOUR in the alleyway? How did it fit 
  through the narrow window and how did it copy the appearance of  
  the dead Laundry officer? Or did it? And what did happen to Neil’s 
  character? Could he now be the thing in disguise?
  Prospective Players:
  Jo Sullivan? (real Man)
  Brains (roleplayer)
  Peter-Francis (Munchkin)
  Pinky (Loony)
  
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  The role of the Game Master is more complicated than 
  that of the players. Instead of portraying a single Player 
  Character, you have to juggle several different tasks over the 
  course of a game session. If you think of a game session as 
  a movie, then the players are the lead actors and the GM is 
  the scriptwriter, the director, the rest of the cast, the special 
  effects team, the editor and everything else, down to the 
  janitor. It is an inexact metaphor, of course, as a roleplaying 
  game is an unpredictable collaboration between the 
  players and the GM, with random chance and on-the-spot 
  inspiration sending events flying in unexpected directions. 
  Call it an experiment in guerrilla media.
  The Basics of  Game Mastering
  Let us start with the first principles. The Game Master 
  describes the scene (‘you’re all in the Laundry offices underneath 
  Mornington Crescent tube station when a shot rings out down the hall. 
  Someone’s screaming. What do you do?’). 
  The players respond by describing their characters’ actions 
  and reactions (‘I grab the phone and call security’, ‘my character 
  hides under his desk’, ‘Phil will run down and investigate’). 
  The GM then describes the results of the players’ choices, 
  using the game rules where necessary to resolve conflicts 
  and provide challenges (‘Ok, Alice, you try calling security but 
  the phone’s gone dead. It’s just static. Brian, you’re hiding under your 
  desk. It’s safe, almost womblike, but you hear footsteps outside the door 
  to your office and then the door opens violently. Roll your Hide skill to 
  see if  the gunman spots you. Chris, your character Phil sprints down 
  the corridor, just in time to see an unfamiliar figure stepping into the 
  Records Office. The figure’s outline and features are weirdly distorted 
  – it could be some sort of  entropy field’). 
  The GM also roleplays all of the other characters who are 
  not portrayed by players (imaginatively called Non-Player 
  Characters or NPCs). He plays the characters’ managers, 
  their co-workers, their friends and family, the cultist in the 
  corner shop and the informant in the dark alleyway. He also 
  plays the villains, such as deranged sorcerers or Human 
  Resources bureaucrats.
  Not every scene involves action; there are investigative 
  scenes where the characters hunt for clues or try to work 
  out what is going on, planning scenes where they take a 
  break to consider their next moves, roleplaying scenes 
  where the characters are talking to NPCs or each other, 
  interstitial scenes where the characters are getting from one 
  location to another and so on. While part of the GM’s job 
  is to keep the game moving and to keep things exciting, the 
  game may also run off on unexpected tangents. Embrace 
  the unpredictable.
  A single night’s gaming is called a session and usually 
  contains half a dozen or more scenes depending on how 
  long you play for. A particular case or mission can take one 
  or more sessions to resolve. 
  A long series of missions is called a campaign (a term 
  derived from wargaming). A campaign can be open-ended, 
  where you keep playing without a set goal in mind, or 
  more focussed, where the GM has a definite conclusion in 
  mind. Missions in a campaign do not have to be connected, 
  although events in one mission may have effects further 
  down the line. 
  Before the Campaign Starts
  Step one – work out what sort of campaign you want to run. 
  Which parts of the Laundry stories most interest you? The 
  horror? The geek jokes? The magic-meets-technothriller? 
  The secret history of espionage? (Reread the Inside the Fear 
  Factory essay, which breaks down the elements of the series 
  in the author’s own words.) You don’t have to give equal 
  weight to all these elements; you can run a whole campaign in 
  the light-hearted vein of Pimpf  if you want or in the shadow 
  of Armageddon like The Fuller Memorandum. Even the 
  more comedic stories have a thread of darkness – Overtime 
  takes place at a ghastly office Christmas party and involves 
  photocopied insectoid buttocks and Father Christmas the 
  Cthulhoid Horror writhing down the chimney, but it also 
  hints at impending doom for all mankind. 
  What sort of Player Characters do you want? Do you want 
  a team of highly trained professional spooks with basilisk 
  guns or do you envisage a team of mismatched geeks? Do 
  you have an even more focussed concept in mind – you 
  could run the adventures of a team of Plumbers or say that 
  everyone has to be part of the SAS.
  What sort of missions do you want to run? Do your players 
  like solving cryptic, intricate mysteries or are they more 
  interested in shooting monsters with weird occult weapons? 
  Come up with vague ideas for a few missions you could 
   
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  expectations 
  of game Mastering
  CONfUSED?
  If you are unsure about how to start 
  your campaign, run the mission Going 
  Down To Dunwich, on page 241, which 
  is designed to introduce players to 
  the Laundry setting and is nicely 
  generic.
  
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  run; come up with some interesting Non-Player Characters 
  and antagonists and sketch out a few long-term plot arcs. 
  Brainstorm your brains out but set nothing in stone yet.
  Inspiration for Laundry missions can be drawn from any 
  source, but the following starting points are especially 
  fruitful:
  	Take a HP Lovecraft story or another favourite tale of 
  terror and extrapolate from there. Take The Thing on the 
  Doorstep, Lovecraft’s trail of body-swapping horror. Now, 
  weaponise the horror. What would the Black Chamber 
  do with the ability to swap bodies? Do they use it for 
  espionage, hopping into the forms of enemy agents? 
  Or are there Chamber officers out there inhabiting the 
  bodies of animals, or even mythos creatures? (‘This is 
  Agent Jones, currently incarnated as a shoggoth. Jones, exude 
  a pseudopod and say hi’). What are the limits on this 
  technology – can they steal your body remotely or does 
  there have to be an emotional connection (and if so, 
  then what was Jones doing with that shoggoth)? 
  	Similarly, espionage thriller plots can be given an occult 
  twist and used for Laundry games. You could take, 
  say, The Bourne Identity and give it a Lovecraftian gloss 
  (Bourne was possessed by the Great Race of Yith and 
  they have left skills and secret knowledge imprinted in 
  his brain). In either case, if you do start with a concept 
  from fiction, just take the ideas and not the plot or steal 
  the plot and change all the trappings so that it is not 
  recognisable. Creativity is hiding your sources.
  	Real-world politics, military or espionage events are 
  also great sources. The Jennifer Morgue is inspired by the 
  real-world Project AZORIAN; what occult secrets lie 
  behind, say, the War on Terror or Operation Cyclone? 
  (Tim Powers’ novel DECLARE is a masterwork in 
  taking real-world events and people and finding, as 
  he puts it, the ‘perturbations’ in history that point to 
  the presence of some unspoken secret. In the case of 
  DECLARE, he takes Kim Philby and the SOE and 
  finds... well, read it yourself.)
  	You can just open your newsfeed and turn the headlines 
  into missions. Come up with the real reasons behind the 
  news.
  	Look for unusual or bizarre events or places. The 
  Concrete Jungle is inspired by the concrete cow sculptures 
  in Milton Keynes; take a weird industrial building or a 
  piece of ghastly publicly funded modern art or an old 
  Victorian pumping station and think about the occult 
  secrets could, nay must, lie behind them. 
  	Read everything you can but especially science and 
  gadget blogs and magazines. Take the hints offered by 
  science and give them an occult sheen. For example, 
  there is now compelling DNA evidence to suggest that 
  there were two other human species co-existing with 
  homo sapiens and homo neanderthalis. One was no more than 
  a metre tall (shades of the Tcho-Tcho, perhaps) and we 
  know comparatively little yet about the other. Genetic 
  evidence for the subterannean folk of blue-litten Kyn 
  Yan, perhaps, or evidence of Mi-Go tampering with the 
  human genetic code?
  	The Laundry is a parody of the English civil service 
  in particular but also rampant bureaucracy and hellish 
  workplaces in general; it is Dilbert vs. Cthulhu. Take the 
  infamous paperclip audits, which are revealed to have 
  an occult meaning in The Fuller Memorandum. What other 
  workplace irritation could be adapted into a plot hook?
  Sample Campaign Sketches
  The Local Laundry: The trials and tribulations of a small 
  Laundry regional office, investigating occult activity in 
  Manchester or keeping tabs on cultists in the Cotswolds. 
  The Player Characters make up the bulk of the staff at the 
  office, along with an elderly manager and a few eccentrics 
  who got dumped here where they could not do any harm. 
  The Player Characters are effectively the ones in charge 
  except on rare occasions when some bureaucrat wanders 
  down from London (when head office remembers that the 
  regional office exists). 
  Against the Black Brotherhood: The characters are part 
  of a committee dedicated to taking down the Brotherhood 
  of the Black Pharaoh, a powerful and ancient international 
  cult. The Brotherhood has cabals and front organisations 
  across the world, all dedicated to bringing about the return 
  of their dark god. Over the course of the campaign, the 
  characters need to assemble a complete dossier on the 
  Brotherhood’s operations, foil the cult’s plans and eventually 
  
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  destroy the organisation once and for all – but are there cult 
  spies already within the Laundry? 
  Through the Ultimate Gate: The Laundry has uncovered 
  a gate created by the Elder Things in Antarctica. The gate 
  can only be activated infrequently – in early sessions, the 
  characters are sent on short-range exploration missions 
  through the gate but later, the Laundry establishes a 
  permanent base on the far side and the characters are 
  stationed there, so they can only return home when the gate 
  is active. On the far side of the gate is... The Dreamlands. 
  An alien world, millions of light years away. The far future 
  of Earth, after the Stars Come Right. Yog-Sothoth.
  The Spy Who Came In From The Old: The campaign 
  traces the whole history of the Laundry, from the wild days 
  of the Special Operations Executive to the modern day. The 
  characters start out as fresh-faced recruits under Colonel J. 
  C. Fuller back in World War II and then the campaign jumps 
  ahead by five or ten years after each case. Replacement 
  characters are brought in to take the place of those who 
  are too senior, too powerful, too old or too dead to keep 
  going. The campaign tours the greatest occult hits of the 
  20th Century, sending the characters to Berlin in ‘45, to the 
  steppes of Siberia in the ‘50s, to counterculture hangouts in 
  the ‘60s and battling Black Chamber agents in the ‘70s
  Two Minutes to Midnight: CASE NIGHTMARE 
  GREEN hangs over everything. At any time, the sirens 
  could sound the two-minute warning. The characters are 
  Laundry officers working for the Counter-Possession Unit, 
  desperately trying to stave off Armageddon for another day. 
  The next step is to pitch your planned campaign to the 
  players and integrate their feedback into your plans. Adjust 
  the tone of the game to suit the players, discuss appropriate 
  character concepts and get the players excited and enthused 
  about playing. Work out ways to integrate the characters 
  into your plans. For example, if one of the players wants 
  to play a former Soviet spy who defected to the UK and 
  ended up in the Laundry and another has an idea for an 
  occult historian who is convinced that he is the heir to the 
  lost throne of the Imperial Dynasty of America, then find 
  places for both of these concepts in your campaign. 
  Talk to your players. Find out what they want. A lot of 
  players are happy to play anything; if a player shows 
  enthusiasm for a particular aspect of the game, embrace 
  it. The more player enthusiasm you can harness, the better. 
  Campaign Arcs and Plotlines
  Now that you have an idea of the Player Characters and of 
  the basic concept of the campaign, you can start planning 
  arcs in more detail. You should plan the first mission or 
  two in detail, have strong ideas for the next three or four 
  missions and have an idea of where you want the campaign 
  to end, so that you can foreshadow plot twists and introduce 
  plot elements before they are needed. If, say, your third 
  mission revolves around a traitor in the Laundry, then you 
  should introduce that traitor in the first mission as a minor 
  character. 
  Most campaigns have several related plotlines running 
  through all of the missions. Plotlines range from external 
  threats and events (‘someone is murdering Laundry officers across 
  England and no-one can catch the serial killer’) to office politics 
  (‘a clash between the Counter-Possession Unit and the Board over the 
  overall direction of  the Laundry’) to the cryptic (‘the characters 
  recover a mysterious tome in a strange language. Over the course of  
  the game, passages from the book are translated and each one sheds 
  eerie light on current events, almost as if  it were a book of  prophecies 
  about the characters’). Plan for developments and twists in the 
  plotline but leave scope for the Player Characters to affect 
  the outcome. Successive plots should be like layers of an 
  onion; the players peel away one mystery to reveal a deeper 
  one.
  Try to open your campaign with a really intriguing mystery 
  to hook the players. The first session should draw them in 
  to the looking-glass world of the Laundry, with its distorted 
  version of the civil service and its mix of mundanity, cosmic 
  horror and cutting-edge weird science.
  Sample Campaign Sketches, Continued
  The Local Laundry
  Opening Session: The characters are sent to the regional 
  office; the Laundry suspects that one of the staff there is 
  leaking information and the characters are to investigate the 
  matter.   
  Plot Arcs: There is a cult operating in the region; the 
  existing staff do not like the newcomers; what is the secret 
  purpose behind having a regional office in this out-of-the-
  way place? 
  Plot Twists: The cult is much more established than 
  expected and some of the locals are not human; the existing 
  staff are hiding a secret from the characters; there is a bunker 
  nearby which is a planned refuge in CASE NIGHTMARE 
  GREEN.
  Planned Climax: CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN comes 
  sooner and harder than expected and communications with 
  head office are cut off. Could this little outpost be all that 
  survives of humanity?
  Against the Black Brotherhood 
  Opening Session: The previous committee investigating 
  the Black Brotherhood are all wiped out in a single night by 
  a series of assassinations and occult attacks. Congratulations 
  – the Player Characters are the replacements. 
  Plot Arcs: Recruiting spies within the Black Brotherhood; 
  investigating major fronts like the Church of the 
  New Kingdom; overseas investigation of all the Black 
  Brotherhood’s operations. You could adapt the cult elements 
  from Chaosium’s classic Masks of  Nyarlathotep. 
  Plot Twists: The characters have to go undercover within 
  the cult; some of the characters’ family members are Church 
  members; the characters run into the Black Chamber 
  overseas – are the Black Chamber behind the cult in some 
  form?
  Planned Climax: The characters discover that the Laundry 
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  The Laundry
  is plotting a sting operation; they intend to let the cult 
  summon an aspect of Nyarlathotep so they can bind the 
  god.
  Through the Ultimate Gate
  Opening Session: The previous team sent through the 
  Gate are in trouble and 21 SAS are being sent through to 
  rescue them; the characters are going through as well to 
  complete the first team’s mission. 
  Plot Arcs: Exploring the world on the far side of the Gate; 
  weird stuff leaking through the Gate; finding out why the 
  Elder Things made the Gate in the first place.
  Plot Twists: The characters are transferred to the new 
  outpost on the far side of the Gate, which rapidly becomes 
  a bureaucratic hellhole; the characters realise that they are 
  being affected by Gate travel; the Elder Things sealed the 
  Gate... why? 
  Planned Climax: CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN 
  happens; the characters have to escape through the Gate. 
  The Spy Who Came In From The Old
  Opening Session: The characters are recruited to the 
  Special Operations Executive at the height of World War II.
  Plot Arcs: The Cold War; British politics 1945-present; the 
  mysterious ascension of the Board.
  Plot Twists: The Cambridge Five and the estrangement 
  from the Black Chamber; the characters becoming politically 
  adept players; the Laundry gets weirder and becomes 
  divided between the Board members who intend on staying 
  human and others who use magic to transform themselves 
  into inhuman immortals.
  Planned Climax: The characters need to pick the ultimate 
  direction of the Laundry; does it stay a quintessentially 
  English branch of the civil service or warp into something 
  unrecognisable and Lovecraftian?
  Two Minutes to Midnight
  Opening Session: A flash-forward to the End Times, 
  where the characters get a glimpse of the apocalypse. 
  Plot Arcs: The mounting threat of sorcery and demonic 
  outbreaks; weaponising the occult to fight back against the 
  darkness; fighting the bureaucracy as you are trying to save 
  the world.
  Plot Twists: The characters discover that there are forces 
  trying to deliberately accelerate the coming of the End 
  Times, in the hopes of taking advantage of the rising magic 
  period just before the conjunction; one of the characters 
  is exposed to some occult power that transforms them 
  into a creature that the Laundry wants to weaponise; the 
  bureaucracy turns out to have advantages. 
  Planned Climax: The knife-edge gets closer and closer, 
  until the fate of the world is in the characters’ hands. 
  Style and Tone
  As discussed earlier, there are several aspects to the Laundry 
  stories that you will want to emulate in your campaigns. The 
  exact mix of these aspects will vary from campaign-to-
  campaign and session-to-session – some players want a light 
  game of geek magic zapping tentacled horrors, others want 
  to play modern spies with some sorcery, while still others 
  enjoy the Lovecraftian darkness and the thrill of potential 
  defeat.
  Horror
  Evoking genuine horror in a roleplaying game is hard. 
  Creeping out your players is possible but you need to get 
  the conditions just right. Lower the lights, have suitably 
  atmospheric music and make sure the players get all their 
  silly jokes and sugar out of their systems (or most of them, 
  anyway – defensive, nervous jokes in the face of horror are 
  fine). 
  The players are your accomplices when it comes to terror. 
  Drop hints and let their imaginations fill in the gaps. 
  Mounting dread is the hardest form of fear to run in a 
  roleplaying game. It depends on a feeling of isolation, of 
  helplessness and of fear, none of which usually apply in 
  a roleplaying game. You can isolate individual players by 
  splitting their characters off from the rest of the team; you 
  can evoke helplessness by letting the characters struggle but 
  have the horror keep closing in; fear relies on the player 
  wanting to be scared but you can enhance it with intense 
  description and roleplaying. Kill off NPCs, play with the 
  player’s assumptions (if they think the house is safe, have 
  them find clues that the monster is already inside the house) 
  and convince the players that there is only one safe path 
  through the mission (asking ‘are you sure’ about trivial 
  actions is a great way to build paranoia).
  You can shock your players with sudden action and loud 
  noises. Crash your fist into the table, have monsters leap 
  out of the shadows and attack them when they least expect 
  it. Let them get used to the protection of magic wards and 
  protective circles to keep the monsters in check, then have 
  a monster come calling to their home address (or better yet, 
  a family member – Sarah the Laundry officer goes to her 
  mother’s house for Sunday dinner to find a squamous thing 
  sitting in the living room, and it’s not grandma).
  Another key element of horror is transgression, the essential 
  wrongness and Lovecraftian horror has this in spades. The 
  universe does not work the way we think it does; our physics 
  are a local subset of true reality and that truth is a ghastly 
  one. Pepper your descriptions with unsettling elements that 
  violate the players’ assumptions. Lovecraft’s The Colour out of  
  Space is a fantastic example of this – it is a colour humans can 
  see but not recognise. Have alien creatures leave lingering 
  traces of radiation or have them interact with our reality 
  in a bizarre fashion. A four-dimensional entity would be 
  able to look and move inside three-dimensional beings like 
  ourselves, so it could reach out and claw at a character’s 
  internal organs without marking his skin.  
  
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  PlAYEr INPUT AND IMPrOvISATION
  How much creative control should you give your players? There is no right 
  answer to this question – it depends on the GM, the players and the style of 
  game you want to run. There are several degrees of player input in the game 
  setting.
  No player input: The GM is the sole arbiter of what exists in the game. The 
  players have no control over anything except their characters’ actions and 
  only know what their characters know. This is the level you want if horror or 
  exploring mysteries is the main focus of the game. The players must use their 
  own ingenuity and courage to uncover the secrets that the GM has prepared.
  limited player input: The players can create minor details without prompting 
  but nothing that would affect the plot at hand. A player might invent HR 
  Directive 540-433/A, Improved Timekeeping In Temporally Dilated Environments 
  or Von Junzt’s lesser-known treatise More Unspeakable Cults. The actual 
  content of these concepts is up to the GM – the player just creates the 
  reference.
  Prompted player input: The GM occasionally asks a player to fill in some 
  aspect of the game within specified parameters. The GM might say ‘ok, the 
  team is going to hide out at Kate’s parents’ house in Dorset. Kate, who are 
  your character’s parents and what sort of place do they live in?’ or ‘your 
  character knows Dr. Lilton – how did you meet and why doesn’t he trust you?’ 
  An excellent use of this technique is to give players authority over their 
  own departments within the Laundry. Does Mathematical Modelling know anything 
  about DEEP SEVEN tunnelling? Ask the maths geek in the team!
  Another form of prompted player input is the granting of narration rights 
  after a success or failure. For example, if the player is trying to disarm 
  a summoning grid, the GM calls for a Sorcery roll. If the player succeeds, 
  she gets to describe how she brings the grid down; if she fails, she gets to 
  describe the horrible fate that befalls her character.
  Considerable player input: The players can come up with anything that their 
  characters might reasonably know, inventing new NPC contacts, Laundry 
  departments, occult tomes and even spells on the spur of the moment. The GM 
  can veto any additions, of course, and should discuss what is appropriate 
  and what is not before the game begins. Any inventions should move the story 
  along, not prematurely end it – inventing a Loyalty Detector spell that scans 
  a whole building and instantly identifies the traitor just short-circuits 
  a find-the-traitor plot, so it should not be allowed. However, inventing a 
  creative way to throw an Auditing truth-compulsion spell around the whole 
  building moves the plot forward without ending it.
  The GM should also solicit player input on where they want the game to go. 
  One player might actually want his character to go mad over the course of the 
  game, so the GM should throw in opportunities to see mind-shattering cosmic 
  horrors. 
  The GM can also give Non-Player Characters to players who are not part of the 
  current scene. For example, when a lone deep-cover agent is meeting with the 
  cult high priest, let the other players play cultist minions.
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  The Laundry
  The concept of anagnorisis, the terrible revelation, is the key 
  to both espionage and horror. It is the moment when all 
  the disparate clues fall into place and the players suddenly 
  realise what is going on and that they are in way over their 
  heads. In The Atrocity Archives, it is when Bob works out that 
  there is something else in the dead Nazi universe and that it 
  wants them to detonate the nuke and invite it through into 
  our world. To achieve this, leave a gap in the trail of clues 
  that the players have to fill in with deduction, or throw a 
  twist at them just as they think they have a handle on the 
  situation.
  Finally, there is good old cosmic horror, the sickening lurch 
  that comes when you contemplate the incredible vastness 
  of the universe, with its billions and billions of galaxies 
  spinning out across billions and billions of years and how 
  this universe is just one of an infinite number of universes 
  in a sea of thrashing brains and how in all these billions 
  upon billions upon billions upon billions there is not one 
  iota of meaning or purpose save that which us parochial 
  monkeys interpret as utter madness and suffering. Join the 
  Laundry and gaze into an abyss so vast it will drive you mad 
  as you contemplate the yawning gulfs of deep time and 
  deep space and these gulfs are crowded with monsters.
  Humour
  The Laundry is absurd and the Player Characters know it. It 
  is a bureaucratic quagmire where occult weirdness is codified 
  into paperwork. Some of the bad guys are genre-aware and 
  monologue at the Player Characters in PowerPoint slides. 
  Humour works best with a light touch. Funny stuff is going 
  to happen in the game anyway, even if you try to avoid it. 
  Players can turn anything into a farce – in playtesting, there 
  was a tense scene in which a highly trained cat burglar broke 
  into a flat to search for evidence that a neo-Nazi group had 
  occult ties. Five minutes later, the cat burglar is trying to 
  stuff an unconscious neo-Nazi into the bathroom while 
  waving her warrant card at the growing crowd of curious 
  neighbours and shouting ‘forget me! I’m not here!’ The 
  players will crack their own jokes and come up with their 
  own ridiculous schemes.
  The GM must decide how much humour he wants in the 
  game. Your reactions and, to a lesser extent, the reactions 
  of the NPCs, will determine the ratio of humour to horror. 
  If you want fewer jokes, tell the players this. If you do not 
  mind the jokes but want to maintain a more serious tone in 
  certain scenes, then have the more respected Non-Player 
  Characters demand that the Player Characters pay attention. 
  Jokes about Human Resources are fine; joking around 
  during an SAS operation should get people killed. 
  The other main source of humour in the Laundryverse is 
  the bureaucracy. Again, go for a light touch here – if the 
  game gets too bogged down in the bureaucratic elements, 
  it will become a genuine chore as opposed to something 
  the Player Characters complain about. Avoid having actual 
  accounting and do not let the bureaucracy get in the way of 
  the action. Instead, throw absurd obstacles or obligations on 
  the Player Characters (see the Bureaucratic Meddling table 
  on page 175) and drop references to bizarre bureaucratic 
  initiatives. Have HR call meetings every so often – it 
  puts all the characters in the same room and makes them 
  roleplay. Some of the best scenes in playtesting were in the 
  five minute bitching sessions before the HR representative 
  showed up.
  Every so often, you should also run a mission about internal 
  Laundry politics as a change of pace. It is a nice breather 
  and forces the players to approach problems differently, 
  without relying on their standard tools.
  Secrets
  The Laundry is inspired by spy novels just as much as it draws 
  from Lovecraft (‘an unholy miscegenation of disparate 
  forms into a ghastly whole’, as the man himself might say) 
  and getting the atmosphere of mystery and hidden secrets 
  right is important. Drop references to previous operations 
  and other departments. Have NPCs make cryptic references 
  to events that the players may never find out about (‘The 
  French haven’t liked us since the Droitwich incident. Don’t ask about 
  it, it’s classified, but four of  their best agents had to be put down with 
  a prototype SCORPION STARE weapon’). Make the players 
  paranoid about everything – are their superiors using them 
  as pawns and setting them up for a fall? Are there double 
  agents in the Laundry? Do the enemy know that they are 
  being watched? Is this mission what is seems or are they 
  being played? 
  Have secrets lurking in the background of your campaign 
  that the characters can slowly uncover. These secrets should 
  exert invisible pressure on events from the start of the game 
  – if, say, one of the major Non-Player Characters is actually 
  a former field officer who got a lot of people killed when he 
  screwed up and whose current lowly job is a never-ending 
  punishment for this mistake, then you should start hinting 
  at this secret shame from the first mission. Maybe point out 
  that this NPC seems ill-suited to such a demeaning job or 
  have others hint at some ghastly tragedy in the past. Tell the 
  players that there are things they are not meant to know and 
  they will embark on a desperate mission to discover them.
  You can even work with one or two of the players to give 
  their characters secrets. Giving everyone a secret agenda is 
  over-egging the pudding but one character might be a Black 
  Chamber double agent, or a supernatural being, or a spy 
  for another section of the Laundry, or the reincarnation of 
  J.C. Fuller, or just a Soviet sleeper agent still waiting for his 
  activation order.
  ‘Occult’ means hidden – the occult world of espionage and 
  the occult world of, well, the occult have a lot of similarities. 
  Play up these resemblances – the cult and the secret terrorist 
  cell are akin, as is the secret dossier and the occult tome. 
  Mix spy jargon with occult weirdness. During the Cold War, 
  the game of spy and dragon was played in the shadow of 
  nuclear Armageddon – or CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN, 
  if you like. Now, the spies are searching for religious fanatics 
  and terrorists who have infiltrated our society. Lovecraft 
  
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  would have muttered something about swarthy foreigners 
  and the inevitable defeat of civilisation.
  Do not restrict yourself to Lovecraft, of course – there 
  are other horror fantasists out there and more sources 
  of spy fiction than Len Deighton and Ian Fleming. Be 
  omnivorous; bringing in unexpected influences will make 
  your campaign more surprising and vivid. Slam ideas 
  together at high speed and see what happens.
  Non-Player Characters
  A good supporting cast of Non-Player Characters turns 
  your game from a series of unconnected missions into an 
  ongoing story. There is no need to come up with a full 
  supporting cast before the game begins – if the players 
  really like or dislike a character in a mission, you can 
  always promote that NPC to recurring status. (Look at 
  the novels for inspiration – the initial cast is only Bob, 
  Pinky, Brains and Harriet. Andy is introduced in the first 
  session, then Angleton, then Mo goes from ‘objective of 
  a plot’ to ‘recurring NPC’ to ‘Player Character’). 
  At the very least, you need a superior or two for the 
  characters. If all the Player Characters are in different 
  departments, then create an Angleton-like figure who can 
  hand out missions and make life complicated. 
  You can and should use the characters from the novels in 
  your games; however, unless you are sure of your ability to 
  portray them convincingly, only use them rarely. Bringing 
  Angleton into a mission emphasises how important it is 
  – if the boss has left his office, then something incredibly 
  serious is going on.  
  Records and Communication
  You will need to keep records of events in your game, 
  from the traditional scribbled notes to more elaborate 
  solutions, like a blog. Having a dedicated mailing list helps 
  you co-ordinate game times and events with the players; 
  you could also make the mailing list an in-character one, 
  an internal Laundry list where the players send messages 
  as their Player Characters. Optionally, you could have the 
  players write up mission reports after each session (give 
  an extra skill checkmark or two to players who do this). 
  Missions
  Different GMs prepare their missions to a greater or lesser 
  degree. At one extreme, there are GMs who improvise 
  through the game from a half-page of scribbled notes; 
  at the other, you can spend days writing up a full mission 
  description like the pre-generated missions on page 241. 
  Experiment and find the approach that works best for 
  you. 
   
  Plot
  What is the basic plot of the mission? What is going on, 
  why do the characters get involved and what happens 
  INSPIrATIONAl MATErIAl
  Books:
  •	 The Atrocity Archives, The Jennifer 
  Morgue, The Fuller Memorandum and 
  other books by Charles Stross. The 
  game is based on these novels, so 
  they are required reading. At the 
  very least, players should read The 
  Concrete Jungle, which is available 
  online. A Colder War, while not 
  part of the Laundry series, is also 
  a chilling read.
  •	 The 
  Call 
  of 
  Cthulhu, 
  At 
  The 
  Mountains of Madness, Dreams in the 
  Witch House and other HP Lovecraft 
  stories. 
  •	 The IPCRESS File and other Len 
  Deighton books. Different books 
  in the Laundry series pastiche 
  different spy novels; pick your 
  favourite espionage writer and 
  base a mission on his style. Other 
  recommendations are Ian Fleming 
  (all the James Bond books), Robert 
  Ludlum (the Bourne series), John 
  Le Carre.
  •	 Declare by Tim Powers. Another tale 
  of the SOE and the occult.
  Games:
  •	 Call of Cthulhu by Chaosium. The 
  classic Lovecraftian horror game. 
  There is a wealth of supplements 
  and adventures for Call of Cthulhu, 
  mostly set in the 1920s.
  •	 Delta Green by Pagan Publishing. One 
  of the best-regarded supplements 
  of all time, Delta Green depicts 
  a secret conspiracy within the 
  American 
  intelligence 
  community 
  fighting against the Mythos. While 
  the Black Chamber is not quite the 
  same as Delta Green’s Majestic, 
  the supplement and its sequel, 
  Countdown, are both superlative 
  resources.
  •	 Trail of Cthulhu, Pelgrane Press. 
  Another take on the investigative 
  genre; the alternative interpret-
  ations of Mythos creatures are 
  great fodder for Laundry games.
  Television:
  •	 Spooks/MI5. Slightly glamorised, 
  but still a good look at the UK 
  intelligence 
  community 
  in 
  the 
  present day
  •	 The Office. 
  Websites:
  •	 Wired.com
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  when they do? While you cannot and should not dictate 
  the actions of the Player Characters, you can predict some 
  of their likely moves in advance. They are going to get 
  their mission assignment, they are going to go to wherever 
  the weirdness is and they are going to investigate. What 
  happens then?
  Scenes
  Break your mission down into scenes. Start off with The 
  Hook, where the characters are drawn into the mystery. Make 
  the hook intriguing or exciting. In The Concrete Jungle, the 
  hook is a combination of the obvious urgency of the case 
  (Bob’s whisked across London and then flung into a police 
  helicopter at high speed) with the incongruity of his stated 
  assignment (go and look at the concrete cows in Milton 
  Keynes). In The Jennifer Morgue, the starting mission is not 
  that interesting (‘go and attend a joint framework meeting 
  about IT purchasing’) but it is livened up immensely by the 
  sudden appearance of Ramona. Grab the players’ attention 
  and enthusiasm and you will not go far wrong.
  Next, pose a mystery or problem. What is the main aim of 
  the mission? Is it to investigate and penetrate an occult 
  conspiracy, ala The Jennifer Morgue? To clean up an existing 
  problem, like Pimpf? Or to complete a task, like Overtime 
  or Down on the Farm? What constitutes a success for the 
  characters, bearing in mind that what is actually going on 
  may not be what the Laundry thinks is going on?
  You will then have several scenes where the characters 
  attempt to investigate the mystery or solve the problem, 
  learning new clues and facing new challenges as they do so. 
  They can do this by roleplaying, through the use of skills 
  and tools, through investigation and deduction and through 
  action. 
  For roleplaying scenes, you will need NPCs for the players to 
  talk to. Come up with an easily recognisable personality trait 
  or two and a motivation for the NPCs. It is a good idea to 
  keep a list of generic names handy, in case the barman in 
  the hotel or the night watchman in the university becomes a 
  more significant character than you had anticipated. Go for 
  broad strokes when playing most NPCs – save subtlety for 
  recurring characters like Laundry staff and major villains. 
  In scenes where the characters complete some technical 
  challenge, like opening a safe or hacking into a computer, 
  you will need to set a difficulty for the task and make the 
  players either roll the dice or come up with a clever way 
  of bypassing the challenge. If completing the task is 
  necessary for the plot to continue, then you should let the 
  player automatically succeed but roll the dice anyway – the 
  skill check does not determine whether or not the player 
  succeeds but whether or not they cause extra problems and 
  complications. For example, if the characters are trying to 
  open a Gate to pursue the bad guys back to their parallel 
  universe, and the plot hinges on this success, then do not 
  say ‘ok, you roll and you fail to open the gate. I guess the game’s 
  over’ if the player fails; instead, the Gate opens but it lets 
  some alien creature through into our world as a side effect 
  or drains SAN from the caster or has some other dangerous 
  consequence. 
  You can also use technical challenges to show off the 
  competence of the Player Characters. If one player has put 
  a lot of Skill Points into, say, Research or Hide, then she 
  wants her character to be really good at researching obscure 
  facts or sneaking around, so you should put in scenes where 
  that character gets to shine. For example, at the end of The 
  Jennifer Morgue, Bob is locked in a room and has no chance 
  of escape – but he does have a Windows terminal, a tuxedo 
  full of hacking tools and a lot of Skill Points in Computer 
  Use (0wnz0rs). 
  For investigation scenes, be generous when handing out the 
  clues. It is more fun for the players to interpret the clues and 
  deduct what is going on than it is to pixel-bitch by searching 
  every inch of a crime scene for clues. Give the players lots of 
  potential leads and avenues of investigation. The Laundry 
  not only has access to advanced forensics – fingerprinting, 
  DNA analysis, ground penetrating radar, scanning electron 
  microscopes – but also occult methods like scrying spells, 
  aura sight and sympathetic magic. Anything from a hair to a 
  blood stain to a lingering emotion can be a clue, along with 
  documents, computer files, taped conversations, newspaper 
  articles, photos… information is everywhere. It is up to the 
  players to put it all together (and they will never interpret 
  things the way you expect them too). Give the characters 
  respites from the action where they can regroup and put 
  their clues together.
  Finally, you will want to throw in a few action scenes. In most 
  forms of spy fiction and Lovecraftian horror, guns are rarely 
  drawn. In the whole of the Laundry series, Bob has never 
  actually blasted anyone with his basilisk gun. Most action 
  involves running away, evading pursuers through clever 
  tradecraft or avoiding attackers. That said most roleplaying 
  groups have at least one combat fetishist in the ranks and 
  
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  pulling out the guns/esoteric weapons/martial arts counts 
  as a problem solving approach for some players. Run your 
  action scenes in interesting locations; if you have got a fire 
  fight, then throw in plenty of cover, bystanders to get hit 
  and things to do other than take cover and fire back.
  After piecing all the clues together and overcoming 
  challenges, the players get to the climatic confrontation. 
  If the players have worked out what is going on, they can 
  bring in the correct assets to deal with the problem (the 
  SAS, say, or a Level Four banishing ritual). If they are still in 
  the dark, then they will have to blunder through as best they 
  can without support from the Laundry. Good spy fiction 
  always has a twist at the end and your games should do the 
  same. Look at The Jennifer Morgue, where the twist is that the 
  Laundry has been subverting Billington’s only-Bond-can-
  kill-me geas field from the start or The Fuller Memorandum’s 
  revelation about the true nature of James Angleton. 
  Antagonist Reactions
  If there are sentient antagonists in the mission, then they 
  are not going to sit around while the Player Characters foil 
  their nefarious plans. Consider the response of the bad 
  guys to whatever the players do. What precautions would 
  they reasonably take? What do they do if they suspect the 
  Laundry is investigating them? (Do they even know the 
  Laundry exists?) How do they stop attempts to interfere 
  with their plans?
  Antagonists who are capable of matching the Laundry 
  in terms of technological and occult sophistication are 
  extremely dangerous. For every advantage the characters 
  can bring into play, the bad guys have a counter-strategy.
  Tails and surveillance cameras can be avoided by the use of 
  tradecraft and clever disguises. Financial transactions can be 
  hidden using front companies, untraceable bank accounts 
  or laundered cash. Electronic surveillance such as bugs can 
  be countered by securing your environment, not letting 
  outsiders in and avoiding telecommunications that you do 
  not control or encrypt.
  Magic makes avoiding surveillance trivial – Hands of 
  Glory and entropy-fuzzing spells give effective invisibility. 
  Memory wipes and geases remove problems like witnesses 
  and disloyal employees. Note that the Laundry warrant card 
  can be countered with a more powerful geas to ‘disobey any 
  other geases placed on you’.
  Committing crimes without leaving any forensic evidence 
  is almost impossible, but taking basic precautions such as 
  wearing latex gloves, spraying the scene with a chemical 
  cleaner or bleach and sweeping for trace evidence before 
  you leave can make the Scenes of Crime Officer’s job much 
  harder. This is especially important when it comes to occult 
  crimes – a sympathetic link to the criminal could ruin a 
  whole operation. Entropy manipulation spells can reduce 
  the probability of a divination spell working but the best 
  way to avoid occult forensics is to carry out an exorcism of 
  the crime scene, leaving it a thaumic dead zone. 
  Sophisticated foes have protocols in place to respond to 
  attackers. Guards stay in contact by radio and are equipped 
  with night-vision goggles, motion detectors and other handy 
  gadgets. There are regular guard patrols and any unusual 
  events are investigated. In the event of a fire fight (and fire 
  fights are very rare in the United Kingdom, where guns are 
  much more tightly controlled than in other countries), the 
  enemy might use hostages as human shields or simply have 
  a lot more firepower than the opposition.
  SPECIAl EffECTS
  You can easily add special effects 
  to your game to increase the 
  atmosphere. 
  Suitable 
  background 
  music puts players into the right 
  mood. 
  Movie 
  soundtracks 
  work 
  especially well. With a web search, 
  you can find suitable photos for 
  handouts – instead of describing a 
  cult hideout, give them a printout 
  of a ‘Laundry surveillance report’. 
  Similarly, with a typewriter font, 
  you can write up important files from 
  the archives filled with both useful 
  information and red herrings. 
  Cheap manila folders and three-
  ring binders give the impression 
  of bureaucracy. In playtesting, 
  each player had a manila folder 
  containing his character sheet, 
  notes on his assignment within the 
  Laundry, a rules reference and any 
  handouts or notes he had acquired. 
  Each mission also had a folder 
  marked with its codeword (DANUBE 
  CROSSING, 
  ASCOT 
  FOUR, 
  GOBLIN 
  CENTURY). In some games, we also 
  had a laptop on the table for quick 
  access to GoogleEarth and other 
  reference sources. 
  When preparing your mission, try to 
  think of special effects and tricks 
  to play on the characters. For 
  example, if the mission hinges on a 
  warning from Head Office, then write 
  the warning up as a text message 
  beforehand 
  and 
  surreptitiously 
  text it to the players at the 
  appropriate 
  moment. 
  The 
  sound 
  of everyone’s phone going off at 
  the same time, followed by the 
  revelation of the warning should 
  be deliciously spooky.
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  When facing foes with magical protection such as wards and 
  defensive bindings, there are several approaches. Powerful 
  spells or sympathetic magic can blow through or bypass 
  a ward. A defensive binding only has a short lifespan and 
  does not protect from all forms of attack – if that Laundry 
  agent is bullet-proof, then set him on fire. Exorcism spells 
  can be used to dispel defences.
  Cultists and criminals are also more able to use summoned 
  horrors than their Laundry counterparts. A cult has nothing 
  to lose by calling up a possessor and setting it loose in a 
  school. 
  Game Mastering
  Running a game is an art that improves greatly with practice 
  but also with enthusiasm and flexibility. A good GM is part 
  authoritarian taskmaster (if the game is not challenging, the 
  players get bored), part showman and part storyteller. It is 
  also tremendous fun.
  Description
  When describing scenes, use all of the characters’ senses. 
  What do they see? What do they smell or taste? Keep your 
  descriptions short and vivid – if the players want more detail 
  on a particular aspect of the scene, they will ask. It is better 
  to have scenes described through a series of questions than 
  dumping a wall of text on the players. 
  Extrapolate extra details as needed – if the Player Characters 
  search a cult hideout, what is likely to be there? A summoning 
  circle, certainly. A sacrificial dagger. A desktop computer, 
  if the cult has got the technical know-how to perform 
  computational demonology. What else? If the cultists are a 
  bunch of low-budget, low-clue bottom feeders, then their 
  cult lair probably has some black candles, dodgy Death 
  Metal posters and buckets of blood. If they are upper-class, 
  blue-blooded sorcerers, then the pentacle might be inlaid in 
  silver thread on a chic rug and with a big-screen plasma TV 
  in the corner displaying a demonic screensaver. 
  WHErE IS THE GlAIvE-GISArME Of MY vANISHED YOUTH?
  Gaming in the Present
  The Laundry series takes place in 
  the present day (well, the near 
  future and two universes over where 
  things are a bit more squamous). This 
  means that all your players should 
  be moderately familiar with the 
  setting, as they already live there. 
  It also means that you have a wealth 
  of resources to draw on. Even if you 
  are not familiar with London, you can 
  use online maps and Wikipedia to pull 
  up all the information you need. You 
  will need it to stay one step ahead 
  of the players.
  The 
  intertubes 
  and 
  modern 
  telecommunications do create some 
  added challenges for the GM. 
  research: 
  Players 
  (and 
  their 
  characters) have access to the same 
  research tools as you do. The first 
  thing they are going to do when 
  investigating a suspect is Google 
  his name; they can pull up the same 
  articles and references that you 
  do. Take advantage of this – if the 
  players have internet access, then 
  you assume they will find the same 
  reference that inspired your game. 
  If your mission is inspired by, say, 
  Operation GRAPPLE where the United 
  Kingdom tested its first H-Bombs 
  in the late 1950s, then just drop 
  a reference to GRAPPLE and let the 
  players dig up the history (and then 
  draw the inference that GRAPPLE was 
  actually an attack on something 
  ghastly). 
  Communication: The mobile phone is 
  the most significant development in 
  the horror genre in a long time. No 
  matter where they are, characters can 
  stay in touch (well, as long as there 
  is a signal and the networks are 
  expanding all the time). You can no 
  longer rely on the characters being 
  isolated by mere distance. They can 
  call for support at any time. Most of 
  the time, this plays to your advantage 
  – even if their characters are not 
  physically present, other players 
  can reasonable kibitz on a scene and 
  you can send them updates from Head 
  Office to move the plot along. If you 
  need to cut the Player Characters 
  off, then have the bad guys jam or 
  break the phone (or scramble it with 
  entropic manipulation). If all else 
  fails, there is always the Statement
  of Randolph Carter approach (‘...
  am...being...dragged...away...
  towards...the 
  basement...oh 
  god, 
  it’s...eating my iPhone!’ followed 
  by ‘You fool! Warren is dead... ooh, 
  shiny’).
  
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  Never dictate the players’ actions; let them get into trouble 
  on their own. 
  Pacing
  Alternate between action scenes, where the characters 
  actively do stuff (combat, breaking and entering, magical 
  rituals) and contemplative scenes where they talk, put 
  together their clues, hold meetings and plan their next 
  moves. Over the course of the session, quicken the pacing 
  until the last few scenes are all action. Keep one eye on the 
  clock, so that you can end the session at a natural break 
  point like a cliff-hanger or the end of a plot arc.
  Make sure all the players are involved. Give everyone equal 
  spotlight time. If a player has nothing to do, ask him what 
  his character is going to do next – and if that does not get 
  him back into the game, give him a plot that pushes him back 
  into the game. Do not have your Non-Player Characters 
  dominate the action; leave the important decisions up to 
  the players (then, to maintain the mystique of Angleton and 
  similarly scary spooks, have them claim that it was all part 
  of their plans all along).
  Play Fair But Loose
  Come up with fiendish plots and villains to challenge your 
  players; pit them against alien horrors so vast and strange 
  that one twitch of a rugose tentacle could wipe out western 
  civilisation in an instant. Pit your under-skilled, underfunded 
  and confused Player Characters against the most nightmarish 
  conspiracies that you can muster… and then give the bad 
  guys even more of an advantage if necessary by giving them 
  counters to the players’ clever plans. You want the players to 
  be on the edge of defeat for most of the game.
  Stick to the rules. Do not arbitrarily decide if the players 
  succeed or fail; if a dice roll results in a Player Character 
  being severely injured, let it stand – it is a lesson to carry 
  defensive wards in future. However, if the players come up 
  with unexpected creative solutions, give them reasonable 
  bonuses. Give events a little push in favour or against the 
  players to keep the tension high.
  fIvE WAYS TO GAME BETTEr
  1. Try 
  something 
  different: 
  In 
  every game, try to do something 
  that you have never managed 
  before. Run a game set during 
  a trial. Run a game in real 
  time. Do a set-piece stealth 
  sequence with miniatures and 
  maps. Run a game where all but 
  one of the players is given pre-
  generated characters, when the 
  lone recurring PC goes home to 
  visit his family. Flash-forward 
  to after the rise of Cthulhu. 
  Shake your game up.
  2. Introduce a new player: Bringing 
  in a new player revitalises your 
  gaming group. Even if it is just a 
  one-shot (‘here’s the specialist 
  advisor from the Black Chamber; 
  try not to get her killed’), it 
  will refocus the players on the 
  game and change the dynamics of 
  interaction at the table.
  3. Steal as much as you can: Grab 
  inspiration from anywhere you can 
  find it, then give it a Cthulhuoid 
  coat of paint and stick it in 
  your game. 
  4. Talk to the players: Find out what 
  they want from the game. Resolve 
  rules disputes or interpersonal 
  arguments outside of the game 
  session. Ask them what they want 
  to see in the game and where 
  they think their characters are 
  going. 
  5. Do not fear failure: If a game 
  session does not go well, there 
  is always next week. If the 
  players screw up and the villains 
  win, then next week can be The 
  Laundry Strikes Back. If you 
  accidentally give away a plot 
  twist, laugh and move on. Don’t 
  worry, just have fun.
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  Laundry Mission Generator
  If you are feeling uninspired or need a quick mission, roll on 
  the random mission generator tables. You will need to come 
  up with connections between the various elements yourself 
  (or let the players do it over the course of the game).
  Apparent Situation or Purpose
  This is what the Laundry sends the characters to do or think 
  is going on.
  1. Investigate a suspicious murder.
  2. Investigate occult activity (cults, evidence of sorcery, 
  bizarre ceremonies).
  3. Investigate non-human activity (BLUE HADES, 
  demons, monsters).
  4. Investigate suspected foreign agency activity (Black 
  Chamber and so forth).
  5. Predictive Branch had a queer feeling.
  6. Audit potential reality excursive threat (computer 
  scientist, anthropologist and so on).
  7. Audit potential occult threat (suspected cult, weird 
  rumour, news report).
  8. Audit other government agency for cultists, security 
  breaches and so forth. 
  9. Audit Laundry facility or regional office for security 
  breaches, possession and so on.
  10. Work with local law enforcement to deal with potential 
  occult threat.
  11. Work with SIS/SS/other intelligence agency to deal 
  with potential occult terror threat.
  12. Conduct training exercise or course.
  13. Support local Laundry officer with ongoing situation.
  14. Renew bindings or bargain with non-human entity 
  (check on an imprisoned demon, leave offerings for 
  hungry god).
  15. Retrieve recently-identified occult item.
  16. Recruit potential asset.
  17. Investigate suspicious death or disappearance of 
  Laundry officer or person of interest.
  18. Conduct field experiment.
  19. Follow-up on previous Laundry operation (make sure 
  the bindings are secure, check to see if geases have worn 
  off).
  20. The characters are not told anything – just go there and 
  look around for anything unusual
  Real Situation
  What is really going on, as the characters will discover over 
  the course of the scenario.
  1. Absolutely nothing – it is all a false alarm.
  2. An ancient cult or entity is reawakening and drawing its 
  followers together.
  3. A cult or entity has lurked here for centuries but has 
  only now been detected.
  4. Criminals or terrorists are plotting to acquire occult 
  items or technology.
  5. An experiment has gone out of control.
  6. There is a cult operating in the area and they intend to 
  summon something unspeakable.
  7. It is all because of a skeleton in the Laundry’s closet – 
  a project that was closed down years ago, a retired or 
  transferred officer, a bargain left unfulfilled.
  8. It is a power play by a rival department in the Laundry, 
  like Human Resources.
  9. The Laundry is using the characters as bait to lure some 
  foe out of hiding.
  10. It is all a loyalty test or training exercise for the characters.
  11. There is a leaky source of thaumic power that needs to 
  be contained before more weird stuff happens.
  12. A rival power, like the Black Chamber, is behind the 
  whole thing.
  13. Another species, like BLUE HADES, are doing 
  something nasty.
  14. A third party (private individual such as a sorcerer or a 
  corporation) is conducting occult rites and experiments.
  15. Someone is trifling with dangerous items or perilous 
  knowledge.
  16. Someone is using an occult power or monster for 
  personal or political gain – the supernatural is not the 
  real threat here.
  17. A recent event – earthworks at a supermarket, a cleanup 
  in a university library, an archaeological expedition – has 
  unearthed something ghastly.
  18. There is a localised minima in the dimensional barriers 
  – things are leaking in from Outside.
  19. It is a deliberate attack on the Laundry. The players are 
  walking into big trouble.
  20. Roll again twice – it is all part of an elaborate double-
  bluff.
  Hostiles
  Who are the opposition? You can mix and match these as 
  needed – a monster could have been summoned by a cult 
  and that cult might be a pawn of the Black Chamber.
  1  
  Lone madman.
  2–3 
  Misguided cult – they do not know what they are  
   
  worshipping.
  3–4 
  Dangerous cult – nasty but with ultimately  
   
   
  selfish, human aims.
  5–6 
  Mythos cult – very, very nasty madmen who want  
   
  to bring about the end of the world.
  7–8 
  Clueless sorcerer or cabal.
  9–10 
  Malignant sorcerer or cabal.
  11  
  BLUE HADES (Deep Ones).
  12  
  DEEP SEVEN (Cthonians).
  13  
  PLUTO KOBOLD (Mi-Go).
  14  
  Ghouls.
  15  
  ANNING BLACK (Shoggoth).
  16–17 
  Level Two Demon (Fire Vampire, Gremlin,   
   
  Hellhound, Zombies).
  18–19 
  Level Three Demon (Faerie, Succubus, Tentacled  
   
  Thing).
  20  
  Level Four Demon (Unique entity).
  Location
  Where does the mystery begin?
  1. Laundry office or facility.
  2. Government building.
  
  175
  17 GaMeMaSTerInG
  3. School or University.
  4. Housing estate.
  5. Airport, railway station, seaport.
  6. Supermarket.
  7. Farm or rural area.
  8. Prison or asylum.
  9. Industrial estate or corporate offices.
  10. Sewers or other underground area such as cave or tube 
  tunnel.
  11. Church or ruin.
  12. Moor or highland.
  13. Lake, river or shoreline.
  14. Military base or other secure area.
  15. Isolated village or small town.
  16. Road, motorway, other public area.
  17. City – alleyways and backstreets.
  18. City – suburbia.
  19. City – commercial.
  20. Extra-dimensional or overseas.
  Bureaucratic Meddling
  You may be defending the world from the scum of the 
  universe but you still have to complete Form 219-b before 
  the end of the week.
  1. Incomplete briefing – the missing information turns up 
  a little too late to be useful.
  2. Missing tickets or travel documents.
  3. Mission is being Audited – any mistakes will have 
  severely detrimental effects on your career.
  4. Incorrect documentation or equipment issued.
  5. Miscommunication with Head Office – the local 
  Laundry personnel or friendlies do not have a clue that 
  the characters are coming.
  6. One department wants the characters to fail, to score 
  political points.
  7. Absurdly insufficient budget issued for the mission.
  8. The characters are ordered to use cover identities and 
  must ensure that these covers are not blown by their 
  actions.
  9. Mission must be completed before close of business on 
  Friday.
  10. The minister is watching closely; whatever the mission 
  result is, it must be spun in a politically positive way.
  11. Paperclip audit – the characters must account for all 
  equipment used, including paperclips.
  12. The characters have to complete some bureaucratic 
  mission, like auditing a regional office for software 
  compliance or conducting pentacle integrity checks, in 
  addition to their regular mission.
  13. All communications with head office have to go through 
  a committee.
  14. The characters must make a full report to a committee 
  during or after the mission.
  15. Mistaken identity – Head Office assigns the wrong 
  character to the mission, so they assume that the nebbish 
  computer tech is an SAS-trained killing machine.
  16. There is an issue with the characters’ weapon permits – 
  no lethal weapons may be used.
  17. The characters are ordered to recover as much evidence 
  and to capture as many suspects as possible for 
  interrogation.
  18. Experimental equipment field testing time!
  19. Legal affairs has their eye on the characters; any breaches 
  of the law will be treated especially seriously.
  20. You know that mission you completed six months ago? 
  Let’s drag the skeletons out of the cupboard and go 
  over all that again…
  Dramatic Situation
  Set-piece encounters and unlikely perils.
  1. Besieged in an isolated location (farmhouse, office 
  cubicle, fallout bunker, hotel room), with enemies all 
  around.
  2. Choose between a loved one (or cause, or loyalty to the 
  Laundry, or something else important) and failing the 
  mission.
  3. Go undercover in an unlikely environment (crazed cult, 
  high society, Jeremy Kyle show).
  4. Perform an impossible heist (penetrate a bank vault/
  cult stronghold/BLUE HADES structure).
  5. Find the traitor (is there only one? Can you trust 
  yourself?).
  6. The characters must work with unreliable allies (foreign 
  spies/BLUE HADES/weird Laundry staff).
  7. Innocents in danger.
  8. Race against time (before the bomb goes off/hostage 
  gets sacrificed/gate opens).
  9. Hey, I know that guy (a friend or family member is 
  unexpectedly encountered).
  10. The characters are stalked by a monster or assassin (in 
  real life/in their dreams/at the office).
  11. Unusual framing – the game includes a flashback, 
  flashforward or cut to another group of characters in 
  the middle of the action.
  12. The characters are placed in a position of unexpected 
  authority (the boss has gone missing/communications 
  are down and they have to make the call).
  13. One of the characters is given a secret briefing about 
  what is really going on (pre-planted memory/secret 
  document/geased command).
  14. One of the characters is not who she appears to be 
  (possessed/enemy under a glamour/clone/parallel-
  universe counterpart/spy).
  15. There is at least one third party involved in the mission 
  whose goals are orthogonal to those of the Laundry 
  (SIS/Black Chamber/AIVD/BLUE HADES).
  16. One of the important Non-Player Characters is hiding a 
  key fact from the characters (he is insane/he has got his 
  own power play in mind/he is working for the enemy).
  17. Fight a really big monster that has to be taken down 
  with artillery.
  18. The characters are dreaming/glamoured/in the Funny 
  Farm/in a computer simulation/in a Black Chamber 
  psychop – they have to work out that the current 
  situation is not real.
  19. The characters are ordered to do something that 
  goes against their beliefs or consciences (murder of 
  innocents/deployment of SCORPION STARE/acting 
  against government orders).
  20. The whole game takes place in an alternate reality (what-
  if scenario/flashforward /parallel universe)
  gaMe MaSTering
   
  ChapTer SevenTeen
  
  176
  The Laundry
  Cthulhuoid Buzzword
  Some things in life are indescribable. 
  For everything else, there is rugose. 
  1
  Amorphous
  Obscene
  2
  Bloated
  Oozing
  3
  Cancerous
  Quivering
  4
  Croaking
  Pallid
  5
  Degenerate
  Parasitic
  6
  Detestable
  Perverse
  7
  Eldritch
  Protoplasmic
  8
  Fetid
  Pustular
  9
  Fecund
  Repugnant
  10
  Ghastly
  Rugose
  11
  Glutinous
  Scabby
  12
  Gibbering
  Sightless
  13
  Howling
  Slithering
  14
  Ichorous
  Squamous
  15
  Incongruent
  Tendriled
  16
  Iridescent
  Turbid
  17
  Mottled
  Ungainly
  18
  Mouldering
  Unspeakable
  19
  Nameless
  Writing
  20
  Necrotic
  Zymotic
  Occult Buzzword
  Use column 2 for spells, column 3 for books. Column 1 is all prefixes; column 
  4 is suffixes.
  1
  Enochian
  Metagrammar
  Grimoire
  Of Thoth
  2
  Forbidden
  Invocation
  Tome
  Of Al-Sabbah
  3
  Encrypted
  Logic
  Book
  Of Harijoun
  4
  Ancient
  Incantation
  Record
  Of Dee
  5
  Enchanted
  Rune
  Codex
  Of Eibon
  6
  Cryptic
  Sigil
  Writings
  Of Nebur
  7
  Akashic
  Binding
  Dreams
  Of Abramelin
  8
  Blasphemous
  Invocation
  Prophecies
  Of Yog-Sothoth
  9
  Latinate
  Geometry
  Portents
  Of Babylon
  10
  Restricted
  Consecration
  Magic
  Of Hermes 
  11
  Unholy
  Pentacle
  Ravings
  Of Worms
  12
  Divine
  Talisman
  Working
  Of Al-Hazred
  13
  Thrice-Great
  Denunciation
  Scroll
  Of The Blind 
  Watcher
  14
  Virulent
  Benediction
  Tablets
  In Adamant
  15
  Sacrificial
  Tongue
  Letter
  Of The Forgotten
  16
  Arcane
  Blessing
  Bargain
  Of The Old Ones
  17
  Hyper-
  dimensional
  Curse
  Treaty
  In Jade and Gold
  18
  Shadow
  Chant
  Tables
  Of the Million 
  Favoured Ones
  19
  Vile
  Symbol
  Fragments
  Of the Gate
  20
  Cthonic
  Manipulation
  Three-Ring 
  Binders
  Of Souls
  Codeword Generator
  1
  BLUE
  SWORD
  DANUBE
  COFFIN
  2
  GREEN
  JAVELIN
  SAMOTHRACE
  THUMBSCREW
  3
  RED
  SPEAR
  ATLANTIC
  LAMBSKIN
  4
  YELLOW
  ARROW
  OGRE
  OAKTREE
  5
  BLACK
  SHIELD
  PHANTOM
  ECHO
  6
  WHITE
  ARMOUR
  OCTOPUS
  TESTAMENT
  7
  MAGENTA
  LANCE
  AXIOM
  REALITY
  8
  ORANGE
  HORSE
  JAMJAR
  LAZAR
  9
  GREY
  BAYONET
  PENNINE
  BOXCAR
  10
  PURPLE
  ARCHER
  NAPOLEON
  HARPOON
  11
  GOLD
  KNIGHT
  ECLIPSE
  JERICHO
  12
  SILVER
  DRAGON
  EMBANKMENT
  HEDGE
  13
  COPPER
  SERPENT
  VENOM
  TEMPEST
  14
  BRONZE
  MONARCH
  NIGHTMARE
  ANDES
  15
  DIAMOND
  WATCHER
  MONOLITH
  SAXON
  16
  PEARL
  HAMMER
  TACITURN
  CAVALCADE
  17
  COBALT
  ADDER
  TANDEM
  VIKING
  18
  AZURE
  STALKER
  LECTERN
  TENTACLE
  19
  RUBY
  WOLF
  HERMES
  WALL
  20
  EMERALD
  HUNTER
  GOBLIN
  VOID
  
  177
  18 PerSonneL
  This roster is nominally correct as of The Fuller Memorandum. 
  Most of the information is easily available as Laundry tea-
  break gossip; a few notes such as the true nature of Mr. 
  Angleton or the fate of Iris Carpenter, are known only to 
  those with the correct codewords. 
  There are six pre-generated Player Characters on pages 191-
  196 – they can be used as emergency replacement characters 
  in the event of an unfortunate incident, by lazy players, or 
  for one-shot games.
  In addition, below are some generic statistics for Laundry 
  personnel who might be encounterd, or called in for aid, 
  during the course of a mission.
  Laundry 
  personnel roster
   
  Chapter eighteen
  WEAPONS AND ArTEfACTS
  Weapons and Artefacts are listed 
  for a few of the characters. All 
  Laundry employees have at least 
  a Class II Personal Ward and can 
  easily obtain other items like 
  a Bullet Ward, Hand of Glory or 
  OFCUT-equipped PDA at short notice. 
  Characters with a Firearms skill 
  above 25% are also rated to carry 
  the relevant weapons. 
  On-Call Personnel
  Plumber
  STR 12 
  CON 13 SIZ 13 
  INT 14 
  POW 16
  DEX 13 CHA 10 EDU 14 SAN 40 
  HP 13
  Damage Bonus: +0
  Weapons: Glock 17 50%, damage 1d10
   
  Hand of Glory 55%, damage 2d6+4
  Artefacts: Personal Ward (Class III), Hand of Glory 
  (Class II), Wand of Memory Erasure (casts a Level 4 
  memory-suppression geas)
  Skills: Bureaucracy 30%, Command 40%, Computer Use 
  (Magic) 60%, Cthulhu Mythos 20%, Demolition 35%, 
  Firearms (Esoteric) 55%, Firearms (Handgun) 50%, 
  Science (Thaumaturgy) 40%, Sorcery 40%, Stealth 50%.
  Bagger
  STR 13 
  CON 14 SIZ 14 
  INT 12 
  POW 13
  DEX 10 CHA 11 EDU 14 SAN 50 
  HP 12
  Damage Bonus: +1d4
  Weapons: Taser 40%, damage special
  Artefacts: Personal Ward (Class II), Portable Containment 
  Grid
  Skills:  Computer Use (Magic) 40%, Fine Manipulation 
  60%, Firearms (Esoteric) 40%, Grapple 55%, Science 
  (Forensics) 60%, Science (Thaumaturgy) 50%, Sorcery 
  30%, Spot 50%, Track 55%.
  Cleaner
  STR 10 
  CON 12 SIZ 10 
  INT 13 
  POW 11
  DEX 10 CHA 15 EDU 14 SAN 50 
  HP 11
  Damage Bonus: +0
  Weapons: None
  Artefacts: Personal Ward (Class II), Glamouring Charm 
  (casts Glamour, Level 2)
  Skills:  Appraise 40%, Bargain 55%, Bureaucracy 55%, 
  Command 50%, Disguise 60%, Etiquette 50%, Fast Talk 
  65%, Insight 50%, Persuade 50%, Repair 50%, Sleight of 
  Hand 55%, Sorcery 15%, Spot 50%,.
  Tosher
  STR 15 
  CON 15 SIZ 14 
  INT 10 
  POW 13
  DEX 10 CHA 11 EDU 14 SAN 50 
  HP 15
  Damage Bonus: +1d4
  Weapons: H&KMP5 55%, damage 2d6+5
  Armour: Biohazard Suit
  Skills: Athletics (Scuba diving) 60%, Athletics 
  (Spelunking) 55%, Firearms (Submachine gun) 55%, 
  Navigate 60%, Science (Chemistry) 40%, Science (Physics) 
  40%, Science (Thaumaturgy) 40%, Science (Zoology) 40%, 
  Sorcery  40%, Swim 55%, Technology Use (Survival gear) 
  50%, Track 55% 
  
  178
  The Laundry
  ANGlETON, jAMES
  ??
  Permanent Private Secretary, 
  Head of Counterpossession Unit
  STr 8 CON 9 SIZ 10 INT 22 POW At least 20                    
  DEX 13 CHA 12 EDU 20 SAN 0* HP 10
  Damage Bonus: +0
  Weapons: None
  Artefacts: Personal Ward IV, Bullet Ward IV, 
  shrunken heads of previous staff members, other 
  eldritch items to taste 
  Skills: Bargain 65%, Bureaucracy 55%, Command 70%, 
  Cthulhu Mythos 50%, Etiquette 75%, Fast Talk 65%, 
  Insight 85%, Knowledge (Espionage) 70%, Knowledge 
  (History) 80%, Knowledge (Occult) 80%, Knowledge 
  (Politics) 70%, Persuade 65%, Research 70%, Sorcery 
  80%, Spot 70%, Status 90%, Strategy 80%, Teach 50%. 
  * Angleton does not think like a human, so his SAN score is effectively zero. 
  He has seen all manner of cosmic horrors and is immune to Sanity losses from 
  most sources. His Etiquette score is the main factor that keeps him from 
  devouring the souls of all around him. If he is ever in a situation where he is 
  personally threatened and a normal human would have to make a SAN check, then 
  roll Etiquette instead. If his Etiquette is reduced to zero, well… it would not 
  be good for anyone.
  Angleton’s day-to-day role is Head of Counterpossession but he is also the 
  Permanent Private Secretary, which means he sees the Board regularly and has the 
  authority to stick his withered fingers in wherever he likes. He is the grand old 
  monster of the Laundry and even the Auditors respect him. His office (which used 
  to be located in Service House but now squats in the middle of the New Annexe 
  as though it was always there) is dominated by his beloved Memex, a mechanical 
  computer built before they had figured out transistors. (If you ask Angleton why 
  he uses such an antique, he mutters about electronic eavesdropping via Van Eck 
  radiation and strongly hints you drop the topic. Those who do not comply join the 
  collection of shrunken heads he keeps in a desk drawer.)
  Angleton has no family, no hobbies, no personal life and does not even have a 
  home address listed in the Laundry records; just a post office box. His past is a 
  mystery – he occasionally wears an old school tie for Sherborne but that is the 
  only clue that he ever existed outside of his musty office. He is a member of half-
  a-dozen clubs; even monsters have to play politics sometimes.
  The spookiest of the spooks is generally three steps ahead of everyone else, which 
  is a very uncomfortable position for those serving him. Working for Angleton often 
  means getting dropped into a situation where you have no idea what is going on, no 
  real idea what you are supposed to do other than some cryptic hint from the boss 
  and the hounds of hell at your heels from the moment you start running. He plays 
  a long game – Angleton is inhumanly patient and is willing to spend long years 
  forging a young recruit into a suitable tool or preparing a trap for his enemies. 
  If Angleton takes an interest in your career, then either he sees potential or he 
  is already planning your funeral.
  
  179
  18 PerSonneL
  personnel roster 
  Chapter eighteen
  BlOODY BArON AND TEAPOT
  As revealed in The Fuller Memorandum, 
  ‘Angleton’ is not human. He is the 
  Eater of Souls, the demonic spirit 
  first encountered by Baron Ungern 
  von Sternberg in Mongolia when 
  it possessed his servant Ensign 
  Burdokovskii, the first ‘Teapot’. 
  The Hungry Ghost was bound by J. C. 
  Fuller and other occultists in 1930 
  in an attempt to create an occult 
  weapon. They bound the spirit into 
  the body of a condemned murderer 
  and placed a potent geas upon it to 
  serve the state. They then placed 
  the bound spirit in an English 
  public school as a maths tutor to 
  teach it to behave. They succeeded 
  too well – by the time they were 
  done, TEAPOT was the very model of 
  a very British spy. 
  If set loose to carry out its 
  original function, then the Eater 
  of Souls could awaken the Sleeper 
  in the Pyramid, who would then 
  hasten the coming of the Great Old 
  Ones. 
  ‘Angleton is old school – so old school that I’m 
  pretty sure I’ve seen his face in a departmental 
  photo taken during the war, back when the 
  Laundry was an obscure department of SOE, the 
  Special Operations Executive, tasked with occult 
  intelligence gathering and counter-demonology. 
  He doesn’t look a day older today than he did 
  back then, sixty-five years ago – dress him in a 
  band-aid and he could star in a remake of The 
  Mummy. Ice blue eyes with slightly yellowish 
  scleras, skin like parchment left out for too long 
  in a desert sandstorm, dry as bone and twice as 
  chilly as ice. And I never want to hear his laugh 
  again. But I digress: the thing about Angleton 
  is that, despite (or in addition to) being the 
  honorary departmental monster, he has a sense of 
  humour. It bears about the same relationship to 
  mirth that his cadaverous exterior does to Paris 
  Hilton’s – but it’s there. (He has the heart of a 
  young boy: keeps it in a reliquary under the coffin 
  he sleeps in.)’ 
  — The Fuller Memorandum
  ANGlETON, jAMES
  BOrIS ‘THE MOlE’
  41
   SSO5 (l), Arcana Analysi
  STr 14 CON 13 SIZ 14 INT 15 POW 14
  DEX 11 CHA 9 EDU 18 SAN 45 HP 14
  Damage Bonus: +1d4
  Weapons: Glock 17 65%, damage 1d10
  Skills: Appraise 35%, Bargain 25%, Bureaucracy 40%, 
  Command 30%, Cthulhu Mythos 40%, Disguise 55%, Fine 
  Manipulation 45%, Firearms (pistols) 65%, Hide 40%, 
  Insight 45%, Knowledge (Espionage) 60%, Knowledge 
  (Occult) 60%, Listen 45%, Research 45%, Sense 30%, 
  Sorcery 45%, Spot 45%, Stealth 60%, Technical 
  (Surveillance) 55%.  
  Boris’s nickname is a reference to his thick Russian accent – he looks and talks like a shaven-headed 
  SMERSH thug who is about to strangle James Bond. In fact, Boris is as English as they come and is 
  more likely to zap Bond with a necromantic incantation. His accent comes from a bout of K-Syndrome, 
  courtesy of a field invocation that went wrong. “Is one of things that are happening, yes? You are 
  forgetting about it, moving on. The fish that is larger must be fried.”
  Despite his psychic war wound, Boris is still a valuable asset. He is one of the old breed of field 
  necromancers, ready to stare down a shoggoth or throw a death curse at a cultist but he is also 
  a quick learner and casually ruthless when necessary. Angleton uses him as a field commander when 
  necessary or as an internal inquisitor when treachery or malfeasance is suspected. (Boris failed to 
  spot an internal plot against Angleton a few years ago and was ‘temporarily indisposed’ for six months 
  afterwards. Since then, he has been highly motivated.)
  
  180
  The Laundry
  STr 14 CON 16 SIZ 11 INT 16 POW 12             
  DEX 15 CHA 15 EDU 18 SAN 50 HP 14
  Damage Bonus: +0
  Weapons: H&KMP5 80%, damage 1d10
  Skills: Artillery (Spotting) 50%, Brawl 45%, Climb 70%, 
  Command 75%, Cthulhu Mythos 25%, Demolition 35%, Dodge 
  50%, Drive 50%, Etiquette 35%, Firearms (Assault rifle) 
  80% & (Pistol) 70%, First Aid 30%, Grapple 65%, Heavy 
  Weapons (Rocket launcher) 55%, Insight 45%, Knowledge 
  (Occult) 30%, Knowledge (Politics) 40%, Jump 45%, Navigate 
  60%, Persuade 50%, Repair 30%, Ride 25%, Sense 30%, Spot 
  40%, Status 75%, Stealth 70%, Strategy 75%, Swim 45%, 
  Technology Use (Battlefield comms) 40%, Throw 45%.
  BArNES, AlAN
  39
  Major, 21 SAS
  ‘He’s thin, wiry, intense, and looks like the kind of  schoolmaster who’s spent years slitting throats in strange countries, and took to teaching as a 
  way of  passing on his knowledge.’ — The Atrocity Archives
  Major Barnes is the Laundry’s primary contact within 21 SAS and has extensive OCCULUS experience. He 
  was awarded the Military Cross for his actions on the far side of the OGRE REALITY gate in Amsterdam, 
  where he received a near-lethal dose of radiation. After nine months recuperation, he returned to the 
  regiment and has served two tours of duty in Afghanistan supporting TASK FORCE DAGGER, as well as other 
  still-classified operations overseas and offworld. 
  The Laundry likes Barnes. He is thorough, patient and willing to put up with nebulous mission briefings 
  and weird restrictions but also capable of cutting through the bull and coming up with a concrete plan 
  of action to deal with occult threats. Tell him what he needs to know and then get out of his way.
  STr 13 CON 15 SIZ 10 INT 14 POW 13
  DEX 17 CHA 12 EDU 17 SAN 55 HP 13
  Damage Bonus: +0
  Weapons: HK417 Sniper Rifle 90%, Damage 1d10+1d6 
  Skills: Appraise 35%, Brawl 50%, Climb 70%, 
  Craft (Metalwork) 25%, Demolition 40%, Disguise 
  25%, Dodge 64%, Fine Manipulation 65%, First Aid 
  60%, Heavy Weapons (Rocket launcher) 55%, Hide 
  60%, Navigate 40%, Pilot (Helicopter) 30%, Pilot 
  (Microlite) 40%, Ride 25%, Science (Physics) 
  40%, Sleight of Hand 55%, Spot 65%, Stealth 70%, 
  Strategy 50%, Throw 45%, Track 40%.
  BlEvINS, rOlAND
  26
  Corporal, 21 SAS
  ‘Rat-face looks at me and grins, baring unfeasibly large and yellow incisors. ‘Wot you fink I should load up on up?’ Roland asks, ‘I got silver bullets 
  in seven point sixty-two, but they tend to tumble in low pressure regimes like wot’s on the other side of  this gate’
  — The Atrocity Archives
  The OCCULUS squadron backup, meaning his job is to provide support with a sniper 
  rifle or hold the gate back home. Blevins is London born and bred; if you hear 
  a distinctive Cockney accent over the radio, then you can assume you are being 
  covered by a talented sniper. 
  
  181
  18 PerSonneL
  personnel roster 
  Chapter eighteen
  CArPENTEr, IrIS
  53
  SSO6(l), Internal logistics
  STr 8 CON 15 SIZ 11 INT 16 POW 12
  DEX 13 CHA 16 EDU 15 SAN 0 HP 13
  Damage Bonus: +0
  Artefacts: Class II Personal Ward, Scarab of the 
  Black Pharaoh, Sacrificial Dagger
  Skills: Appraise 35%, Bargain 55%, Bureaucracy 65%, 
  Disguise 25%, Insight 65%, Knowledge (Accounting) 
  40%, Knowledge (Law) 40%, Knowledge (Occult) 40%, 
  Listen 45%, Persuade 50%, Research 45%, Sense 30%, 
  Sorcery 50%, Spot 45%, Stealth 30%.
  ‘Despite the aging biker chick style that she affects, the temperament and training of  a steely home-counties matron lurk not too far under the skin; 
  put her in twinset and pearls and you can see her biting the heads off  hunt saboteurs.’ 
  — The Fuller Memorandum
  Bob’s current line manager and easily the most effective he has ever had. Iris 
  Carpenter is competent, diligent and understanding. She protects her team with 
  the savagery of mother bear and shields them from bureaucratic nonsense and 
  interference, while expecting loyalty and a good effort in return. As she puts 
  it ‘it’s Angleton’s job to point you at the enemy, Bob, but it’s my job to keep 
  you from breaking. I take my job seriously.’
  Since her recruitment to the Laundry (she was witness to a botched summoning), Iris 
  has swiftly climbed the promotion ladder through competence and being terribly 
  nice to people, instead of the usual HR methods of sabotage, assassination and 
  clambering over the corpses of the dead. She has a genius for organisation and 
  collating disparate pieces of data, making her an excellent analyst.
  ClUB ZErO and The Brother-
  hood of the Black Pharaoh
  …unfortunately, Iris is also a 
  senior initiate of the Brotherhood 
  of the Black Pharaoh, who managed 
  to infiltrate the Laundry with 
  the aim of securing the Fuller 
  memorandum and the control codes 
  for TEAPOT and thus bringing about 
  the end of the world. While this 
  plan was foiled, Iris Carpenter did 
  have codeword clearance to numerous 
  Laundry files for years and the 
  full scope of this security breach 
  is still under investigation by 
  Counter-Subversion. 
  
  182
  The Laundry
  STr 9 CON 10 SIZ 12 INT 17 POW 14
  DEX 10 CHA 14 EDU 19 SAN 60 HP 11
  Damage Bonus: +0
  Skills: Art (poetry) 50%, Computer Use (Magic) 
  70%, Insight 40%, Knowledge (Occult) 75%, Listen 
  40%, Repair (Electronics) 50%, Research 80%, 
  Science (Mathematics) 75%, Science (Thaumaturgy) 
  65%, Sense 40%, Sorcery 45%, Spot 30%, Status 
  60%, Stealth 30%.
  fOrD, Dr. MIkE
  49
  SSO5(A), Mathematical Modelling
  ‘He has a large head for his average-sized torso: brown hair fighting a hard-bitten retreat, bound in a ponytail: his eyebrows, owlishly peaked, rise 
  quizzically at her approach. ‘Good to see you!’ ‘His desk [is] piled high in untidy snowdrifts of  paper – there’s a laser printer on a table in one 
  corner, and a heavy duty shredder right below it – with a coffee mug balanced atop one particularly steep pile. It reads, DURING OFF HOURS 
  TRAINS STOP HERE. There’s a bookcase beside the desk, crammed full of  phrasebooks and travel guides, except for one shelf, which is 
  occupied by a tiny Z-gauge model railway layout.  ‘Were you passing through or can I be of  service in some way?’
  — The Fuller Memorandum
  Having a sense of humour keeps you sane in the Laundry, and by that metric, Dr. Mike is the 
  sanest person in the whole organisation. He works in the chthonic reaches of Mathematical 
  Modelling, working on ways to predict the scope and onset of the Transient Weak Anomaly, aka 
  CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN, aka the Stars Come Right, aka OH FUCK. He’s also one of the top posters on 
  the Laundry’s internal newsgroups, and knows a little about everything that’s going on.
  STr 14 CON 14 SIZ 15 INT 15 POW 10  
   
  DEX 14 CHA 10 EDU 16 SAN 45 HP 15
  Damage Bonus: +1d4
  Weapons: H&KMP5 65%, Damage 1d10
  Skills: Appraise 35%, Artillery (Spotting) 40%, 
  Bureaucracy 25%, Climb 75%, Command 50%, Demolitions 
  45%, Dodge 60%, Firearm (Assault rifle) 65%, Firearm 
  (Pistol) 60%, Heavy Weapons (Rocket launcher) 55%, 
  Hide 65%, Insight 35%, Navigate 55%, Knowledge 
  (Accounting) 65%, Listen 45%, Persuade 30%, Research 
  45%, Sense 30%, Spot 65%, Status 40%, Stealth 60%, 
  Teach 30%, Technology Use (Battlefield comms) 55%
  DErEk
  34
  SAO4(l), financial Control
  Another of Major Barnes’ merry men, Derek is a mild-mannered accountant in the 
  Laundry’s financial control section during the week and a Territorial SAS lieutenant 
  by weekend. Having him on staff in the Laundry helps when there is shooting to be 
  done around the office (which happens more often than Health and Safety guidelines 
  would indicate).
  
  183
  18 PerSonneL
  personnel roster 
  Chapter eighteen
  STr 10 CON 8 SIZ 13 INT 14 POW 12
  DEX 8 CHA 12 EDU 16 SAN 30 HP 10
  Damage Bonus: +0
  Weapons: Colt 1911, 40%, 1d10
  Skills: Bargain 40%, Command 35%, Disguise 
  45%, Etiquette 45%, Fast Talk 65%, Gaming 65%, 
  Hide 40%, Insight 35%, Language (Spanish) 60%, 
  Persuade 65%, Sense 40%, Sleight of Hand 40%, 
  Sorcery 15%, Spot 40%, Status 60%. 
  GrIffIN, jACk
  52
  SAO5(l), Station Manager, 
  Saint Martin
  ‘He’s about fifty, very British in a late-imperial, gin-pickled kind of  way –in his lightweight tropical suit, regimental tie and waxwork moustache 
  he looks like he’s just stepped out of  a Merchant-Ivory movie.’
  ‘What do you think I am, another of  your goddamn paper-pushing Whitehall pen-pimps? This isn’t Camden Market and I’m not the bloody hotel 
  concierge. I’m the Laundry point man for the Caribbean and if  you put a step wrong on my patch, you can bring all the hounds of  Hell down on 
  our collective neck, boy, so you’re not going to do that.’
  — The Jennifer Morgue
  When the tide of history that carried Britannia to the four corners of the world 
  receded, it left strange fossils like Jack Griffin washed up on foreign shores. 
  In his younger days, he was a field agent but the inexorable march of occult 
  technology left him years behind the times and he was punted over to a foreign 
  desk where he could do little harm. The life of a minor station manager is a 
  sinecure – you send in the regular report on cult activity in your bailiwick, 
  monitor local politics and media, write the occasional monograph on paranormal 
  seagull migration patterns or the geopolitical significance of Fernando Pó. 
  Griffin tries to justify the existence (and budget) of his little corner of the 
  empire by sending regular warnings about ‘enemy movements’ and ‘the opposition’, 
  hinting darkly that the Black Chamber is up to something in the area. Even the 
  aftermath of JENNIFER MORGUE only shut him up for a few weeks, although he still 
  gets very nervous around stringed instruments.
  
  184
  The Laundry
  STr 15 CON 13 SIZ 16 INT 14 POW 13
  DEX 10 CHA 10 EDU 16 SAN 53 HP 14
  Damage Bonus: +1d4
  Weapons: Oh yes, my son. Oh Yes.
  Skills: Appraise 60%, Bargain 45%, Bureaucracy 
  55%, Command 45%, Demolition 65%, Firearms 
  (Assault rifles) 65%, Firearms (Esoteric) 40%, 
  Firearms (Pistols) 50%, Firearms (Shotguns) 55%, 
  Grapple 55%, Heavy Weapon (Grenade Launcher) 
  60%, Insight 45%, Knowledge (Law) 55%, Knowledge 
  (Occult) 30%, Persuade 50%, Repair 70%, Sorcery 
  25%, Status 35%.
  HArrY ‘THE HOrSE’
  44
  AO3(l), Armoury
  ‘Harry the Horse is our departmental armourer. He looks like an extra from The Long Good Friday: belt-straining paunch 
  that’s constantly trying to escape, thinning white hair, and a piratical black eye-patch. Last time I saw him he was explaining the 
  finer details of  the care and feeding of  a Glock-17 (which we’ve standardized on, damn it, because of  an ill-thought requirement for 
  ammunition and parts commonality with the Sweeney ); I responded by showing him how to take down a medusa (something which I 
  have unfortunately too much experience at).’ 
   
   
                     
               — The Fuller Memorandum
  Harry loves his job, most of the time. He gets to play with guns of all sorts – big ones, little ones, old 
  ones, new ones, ones designed to fire bullets into other dimensions and double-barrelled shotguns made to 
  blow holes in demons. He is a little less comfortable with purely occult weapons but he can still roast a 
  HOG with the best of them. The only time that Harry does not love his job is when people do not listen to 
  him. Guns are a serious business and treating them without respect gets people killed. The Laundry does not 
  need any more trigger-happy lunatics who think the best way to deal with a problem is with heavy firepower – 
  if you believe that, then you will never make it out of Dunwich. When people mistreat his guns, Harry gets 
  upset – and you really do not want to upset the nice man with all the guns.
  STr 15 CON 16 SIZ 11 INT 1 POW 1
  DEX 5 CHA 3 EDU 0 SAN 0 HP 14
  Damage Bonus: +1d4
  Skills: Brawl 30%, Grapple 40%, Sense 30%.
  IrONSIDES, frEDErICk
  37+6
  residual Human resource
  ‘The grinning sallow face of  Fred from Accounting looms out of  the darkness in front of  me and I recoil before I realise that it’s all 
  right – Fred’s been dead for more than a year, which is why he’s on the night shift.’  
   
   
  — The Concrete Jungle
  Formerly an accountant – and, for that matter, formerly alive – Frederick Ironsides is 
  a testament to the importance of paying attention during safety demonstrations. During 
  a course on computational demonology, he stepped over the line of a summoning grid and, 
  well, Fred’s dead. Waste not, want not; Fred is presented here as an example of the 
  Laundry’s reuse of personnel. Today, Fred is gainfully employed in a variety of positions 
  in the organisation, such as night watchman, door guard, shelf-stacker, draught excluder, 
  cannibal and hat-stand. Please note that pursuant to HR Directives on Seasonal Cheer, 
  employees are to refrain from decking the zombies with tinsel.
  
  185
  18 PerSonneL
  personnel roster 
  Chapter eighteen
  STr 12 CON 11 SIZ 13 INT 16 POW 15  
   
  DEX 10 CHA 12 EDU 17 SAN 45 HP 12
  Damage Bonus: +0
  Skills: Appraise 35%, Bargain 25%, Bureaucracy 40%, 
  Computer Use (Hacking) 50%, Computer Use (Magic) 
  50%, Computer Use (Programming) 50%, Computer Use 
  (Repair) 20%, Cthulhu Mythos 35%, Disguise 25%, 
  Firearms (Esoteric) 50%, Firearms (Pistols) 25%, 
  Insight 25%, Knowledge (Espionage) 20%, Knowledge 
  (Law) 20%, Knowledge (Occult) 45%, Listen 45%, Repair 
  (Electronics) 40%, Research 45%, Science (Mathematics) 
  60%, Science (Thaumaturgy) 45%, Sense 30%, Sorcery 
  30%, Spot 30%, Status 50%, Stealth 30%.
  HOWArD, rOBErT
  30
  SSO3(l), Darkside Hacker 
  Information Technology Support
  ‘I’ve seen your record and I am aware that you are intelligent, ingenious, resourceful, technically adept, and no less brave than average. 
  But that doesn’t alter what I’ve said one bit: you are routinely, grossly insubordinate. You think you have a right to know things that 
  other people would – and do – kill for. You take shortcuts. You aren’t an organisation man, and you never will be. If  it was up to me 
  you’d be on the outside, and never allowed anywhere near us.’
  — The Atrocity Archives
  Robert Oliver Francis Howard, or Bob to everyone else, joined the Laundry after 
  he nearly redecorated Birmingham by accident. A level 14 geek with a degree in 
  computing, he was condemned to the dungeon of tech support for a while before he 
  got bored and volunteered for active service. Since then, Bob has alternately 
  impressed and horrified his superiors: he has a knack for creative solutions but 
  is even better at getting in way over his head. Most of the time, he is one of 
  the Laundry’s sysadmins but he moonlights as one of Angleton’s field officers. 
  He was part of the team that extracted Dominique O’Brien from OGRE REALITY in 
  Amsterdam; the two married three years later following the successful JENNIFER 
  MORGUE operation. They have no children. 
  Bob is a hacker at heart and that means finding elegant and lazy solutions to 
  problems (said problems may include: network errors, demon summoning, multiple 
  users trying to login to the secure document server simultaneously and the end 
  of the world). The Laundry bureaucracy is designed to crush independent thought 
  and constrain everyone to the committee-decided solution and never the twain 
  shall meet. Bob is as loyal as they come and Angleton has tapped for future 
  greatness but the boss’s assessment was right on day one – he will never really 
  be an organisation man.
  
  186
  The Laundry
  STr 9  CON 12 SIZ 14 INT 15 POW 16
  DEX 14 CHA 10 EDU 18 SAN 50 HP 13
  Damage Bonus: +0
  Skills: Bureaucracy 55%, Command 45%, Cthulhu 
  Mythos 40%, Disguise 45%, Fast Talk 60%, 
  Firearms (Esoteric) 40%, Insight 45%, Knowledge 
  (Espionage) 55%, Knowledge (Politics) 60%, 
  Research 75%, Science (Mathematics) 45%, Sorcery 
  25%, Status 65%, Stealth 50%, Strategy 40%.
  NEWSTrOM, ANDrEW
  34
  Computational Demonology
  Andy gives me a Look, of  a kind I’ve been beginning to recognize more since the business in Brookwood—infinite existential despair 
  tempered with a goodly dose of  rage against the inevitable, dammed up behind a stiff  upper lip.’ 
   
   
  — Overtime
  Tall, wild-haired and usually quiet-spoken, Andy is another one of Angleton’s minions. 
  He is more of an analyst and less of a field agent than Boris and the scuttlebutt 
  is that Mr. Newstrom has a bright future ahead of him on Mahogany Row (Other, less 
  charitable rumours suggest that he has got his eye on Angleton’s job and while 
  Operations rarely play the games like Admin does, a seemingly undying boss does gum up 
  the promotion ladder for everyone else). He has moved from Arcana Analysis to Internal 
  Logistics to R&D, with shorter stints in the field. Andy is a backbone of Laundry 
  operations, which means he is eternally stressed and survives on what Catering cruelly 
  refer to as coffee. Either he has mastered bilocation, or he has learned to sleep in 
  two-minute gaps between meetings.
  STr 14 CON 15 SIZ 14 INT 15 POW 12  
   
  DEX 12 CHA 9 EDU 18 SAN 45 HP 15
  Damage Bonus: +1d4
  Weapons: H&K MP5 65%, damage 1d10
  Skills: Brawl 60%, Climb 70%, Command 45%, Craft 
  (Metalworking) 50%, Cthulhu Mythos 10%, Demolition 
  55%, Firearms (Assault rifle) 65%, Firearms (Esoteric) 
  40%, Firearms (Pstol) 55%, First Aid 50%, Grapple 
  55%, Heavy Weapon (Machine gun) 60%, Heavy Weapons 
  (Rocket launcher) 55%, Hide 55%, Navigate 45%, Pilot 
  (Helicopter) 60%, Repair (Firearm) 65%, Research 60%, 
  Science (Engineering) 75%, Spot 40%, Status 45%, 
  Stealth 65%, Strategy 45%, Technology Use (Targeting 
  systems) 40%.
  PIkE, MArTIN, PHD
  27
  Staff Sergeant, 21 SAS
  ‘Pike is a sergeant. He’s also a PhD in mechanical engineering and designs things that go fast and explode, when he isn’t being a 
  weekend soldier in a special unit hung off  the SAS. He’s met people like me before and knows how to deal with them.’
  — The Atrocity Archives
  Pike is trained in occult weapons technology as well as conventional methods; he 
  is equally at home with an M16 or a Basilisk gun. He is a quiet, intense officer, 
  one of Major Barnes’ most trusted subordinates.
  
  187
  18 PerSonneL
  personnel roster 
  Chapter eighteen
  STr 11 CON 12 SIZ 12 INT 17 POW 16
  DEX 12 CHA 14 EDU 19 SAN 45 HP 12
  Damage Bonus: +0
  Artefacts: The Violin, Personal Ward III
  Skills: Appraise 30%, Climb 60%, Cthulhu Mythos 
  35%, Disguise 45%, Dodge 40%, Etiquette 55%, 
  Fast Talk 40%, Firearm (Pistol) 65%, Hide 40%, 
  Insight 60%, Knowledge (Occult) 65%, Knowledge 
  (Philosophy) 80%, Perform (Violin) 75%, Research 
  60%, Science (Mathematics) 65%, Sorcery 15%, Spot 
  55%, Status 66%, Stealth 65%, Strategy 40%, Teach 
  55%.
  O’BrIEN, PrOf. DOMINIqUE 
  ‘MO’ (AGENT CANDID)
  34
  Special Projects
  ‘There is this about being married to Mo: every few months she gets called to an unexpected job somewhere in Europe, at short notice, 
  with her violin. A philosopher by academic training and a combat epistemologist by subsequent specialization, she doesn’t talk about 
  what happens on those trips; but I get to hold her shoulders and calm her when she wakes in the pre-dawn gloom, shuddering and 
  clammy. Years ago, shortly after we first met, we got into a situation where I ended up rescuing her from -- well, it wasn’t nice, and 
  she over-compensated, I think.  The violin’s an Erich Zann original, refitted with Hilbert-Space pickups. There’s a sticker on its case 
  that says, THIS MACHINE KILLS DEMONS. And sometimes she sits up late into the night, playing music on it that I don’t 
  want to think about.’
  — The Fuller Memorandum
  Mo came to the Laundry’s attention when she was working in the United States 
  on a ‘calculus of belief’ that had potential occult significance. As it turned 
  out, Mo was a trap – the Mukharabat succeeded in kidnapping her into a parallel 
  universe and used her as bait. She barely survived the experience and was never 
  quite the same afterwards. She switched from academic theory to practical 
  application and is now one of the Laundry’s potent combat assets. She married 
  Bob three years ago.
  She is tall, elegant, cultured and more than a little broken. She is one of the 
  few Laundry employees willing to argue with – hell, even threaten – Angleton, 
  and she has seen enough horror for any six lifetimes to put up with bureaucratic 
  restrictions and half measures. She clings to a semblance of a normal life and 
  tries to drag Bob along with her but the demands of her job (and the violin) 
  make it harder and harder.
  
  188
  The Laundry
  STr 10 CON 13 SIZ 12 INT 16 POW 11
  DEX 10 CHA 9 EDU 17 SAN 35 HP 13
  Damage Bonus: +0
  Skills: Computer Use (Design) 40%, Computer Use 
  (Hacking) 45%, Craft (Electronics) 55%, Craft 
  (Lego) 40%, Demolition worryingly high, Fast Talk 
  60%, Knowledge (Occult) 40%, Repair (Electronics) 
  65%, Research 65%, Science (Physics) 40%, Science 
  (Thaumaturgy) 45%, Sorcery 25%, Technology Use 
  (Spy gadgets) 60%.
  PINkY
  28
  SSO2(A), q Division 
  Technical Support
  ‘The next step is to do it without breaking the shell at all – immerse the egg in a suspension of  some really tiny ferromagnetic particles, 
  then use electrophoresis to draw them into it, then figure out some way of  making them clump together into long, magnetised chains 
  inside it. With me so far?’
  ‘Mad, mad I say!’ Pinky is bouncing up and down. ‘What are we going to do tonight, Brains?’
  ‘What we do every night, Pinky: try to take over the world!’ (Of  haute cuisine.)’
  — The Atrocity Archives
  STr 11 CON 10 SIZ 14 INT 17 POW 7
  DEX 12 CHA 7 EDU 19 SAN 25 HP 12
  Damage Bonus: +0
  Skills: Appraise 45%, Bureaucracy 35%, Computer 
  Use (Magic) 55%, Cthulhu Mythos 15%, Knowledge 
  (Espionage) 45%, Knowledge (Occult) 55%, Science 
  (Mathematics) 55%, Science (Physics) 70%, Science 
  (Thaumaturgy) 45%, Sorcery 45%.
  BrAINS
  32
  One is a genius. The other is insane. Actually, they are both technically 
  geniuses and neither has an especially good grasp of reality. Brains is the 
  one with borderline narcissistic personality disorder and the cave-fish pallor 
  of the basement-dwelling geek; Pinky’s hyperactive and sometimes comes into 
  work wearing clubbing gear. The couple shared a house with Bob until Professor 
  O’Brien moved in.
  Both of them work in the Laundry’s technical support department, rolling out new 
  gadgets from Q Division and working on their own bizarre experiments. 
  SSO2(A), q Division 
  Technical Support
  
  189
  18 PerSonneL
  personnel roster 
  Chapter eighteen
  STr 14 CON 13 SIZ 11 INT 14 POW 14
  DEX 17 CHA 16 EDU 15 SAN 40 HP 12
  Damage Bonus: +1d4
  Skills: Bargain 45%, Bureaucracy 30%, Command 
  40%, Cthulhu Mythos 45%, Disguise 45%, Etiquette 
  65%, Fast Talk 60%, Firearm (Pistol) 45%, Insight 
  55%, Knowledge (Occult) 60%, Knowledge (Politics) 
  60%, Listen 60%, Persuade 70%, Research 45%, 
  Sense 50%, Sleight of Hand 45%, Spot 40%, Status 
  55%, Swim 90%. 
  rANDOM, rAMONA
  (CHArlIE vICTOr)
  28
  Special Circumstances
  ‘She takes a slug of  the G&T, then stares down her nose at me with those disquietingly clear eyes, like an aristocratic Eloi considering 
  a shambling, half-blind Morlock who’s somehow made it to the surface. I take a preliminary sip of  my beer, waiting for her to continue. 
  ‘Do you want to fuck me?’’
  ‘I spray beer through my nostrils. ‘You have got to be kidding me.’’
  ‘It’s more tactful than I’d rather bed a king snake and less pathetic than my girlfriend would kill me, but the instant I come 
  out with it I know it’s a gut reaction, and true: what’s under that glamour? Nothing I’d want to meet in bed, I’ll bet.’
  — The Jennifer Morgue
  Random is a Type III BLUE HADES; her people were bred by the inhuman Deep Ones 
  to serve as their emissaries on land. She was recruited by the Black Chamber 
  and bound to a succubus demon to ensure her cooperation. Wrapped in a Class 
  Three Glamour coupled with the inherent beauty of the sea-born, she was a 
  seductive killer – any man who slept with her died within 24 hours, thanks to 
  her succubus. 
  She was also a key element of the Black Chamber’s plan to retrieve the JENNIFER 
  MORGUE Cthonian artefact – only one of the Deep One’s own creations could lull 
  the undersea defences into somnolence long enough to lift the artefact from the 
  seabed. During that operation, she defected to the Laundry but exposure to the 
  ocean depths and the stress of the situation on board the Explorer triggered her 
  metamorphosis into a full BLUE HADES.
  The demon was exorcised from her; Ms. Random is currently undergoing retraining 
  at the Dunwich base for a future role within the Laundry.
  
  190
  The Laundry
  STr 11 CON 15 SIZ 9 INT 14 POW 11
  DEX 16 CHA 13 EDU 14 SAN 40 HP 12
  Damage Bonus: +1d4
  Skills:  Brawl 55%, Bureaucracy 45%, Command 40%, 
  Drive (Automobile) 60%, Fast Talk 55%, Firearm 
  (Pistol) 65%, First Aid 60%, Grapple 60%, Insight 
  60%, Knowledge (Law) 55%, Persuade 60%, Research 
  45%, Sense 40%, Spot 55%, Status 45%, Technology 
  Use (Forensics) 40%, Track 45%.
  SUllIvAN, jOSEPHINE
  33
  SAO3 (l), 
  Operational Oversight
  ‘Well, this is the Laundry. It’s our job to deal with seven shades of  vile shit so that people like you don’t have to. I take a deep 
  breath. And before we go in I figured I should warn you that you’re going to think Fred and Rosemary West work for us, and Harold 
  Shipman’s the medical officer.’ 
  At this point she goes slightly pale — the Demon DIYers and Doctor Death are the acme of  British serial killerdom after all — but 
  she doesn’t flinch.
  ‘And you’re the good guys?’
  ‘Sometimes I have my doubts’, I sigh.
  ‘Well, join the club.’ I have a feeling she’s going to make it, if  she lives through the next hour.
  — The Concrete Jungle
  Formerly Detective Inspector Sullivan of the Thames Valley Police, Sullivan 
  talked her way into the Laundry during an investigation into malfeasance, 
  conspiracy and exploding cows at a research facility. Since being dragged 
  into the Laundry Basket, she has taken up a role in Operational Oversight, 
  investigating internal problems.
  It is not the most pleasant of jobs. When Operations screw up, people die 
  horribly and Sullivan gets to see the aftermath every time. Oversight has its 
  own curses, too – working so closely with the Auditors means geases and truth 
  compulsions are part of working life. Sullivan spends hours every day trapped 
  under enchantments, unable to control her own body as her hand traces spidery 
  characters across the pages of her notebook, recording accounts of horror and 
  suffering in a writing that is not her own.
  
  191
  18 PerSonneL
  personnel roster 
  Occult Mathemagician
  ‘Somewhere down in the village, Dr. Malcolm 
  Denver is undergoing induction briefings, 
  orientation lectures, shoe-size measurements, 
  pension 
  adjustments, 
  and 
  being 
  issued 
  with his departmental toothpaste tube and 
  identification dog tags.’
  — The Atrocity Archives
  Age 28, Mathematical Modelling
  It has been three years now since the 
  Laundry made you an offer you were not 
  legally allowed to refuse. You were 
  working for Memetix (UK) back then 
  as a researcher, just six months out 
  of academia and eager to actually 
  earn some money. You had also found 
  an interesting hack on number theory 
  that you thought was your ticket to 
  founding the next Google. It turned 
  out, though, that you had duplicated 
  the Dee-Turing Theorem and that the 
  government already knew about it – 
  and you. Laundry spooks broke into 
  your office, erased your research and 
  then made you a job offer. Work for 
  us.
  So, no vast wealth, no internal fame, 
  just another little beige cubicle. 
  The one recompense is that you now 
  have access to all the secrets of 
  computing theory that they have been 
  covering up for 50 years and to be 
  honest, you are a theory geek at 
  heart. 
  After three years behind a desk, you 
  got bored and applied for active 
  field duty. Let’s see what else the 
  universe has been hiding from you…
  NAME	 	
  							
  	
  												
  DENvEr, MAlCOlM, PHD
  	PERSONNEL	RECORD
  STr 10 CON 13 SIZ 11 INT 16
  POW 09 DEX 13 CHA 12 EDU 17
  SAN 45
  HP 12
  Damage Bonus: +0
  Major Wound level: 6
  Experience Bonus: 8
  Move: 8
  Skills: 
  Appraise 
  35%, 
  Art 
  5%, 
  Artillery 0%, Athletics 10%, Bargain 
  25%, Brawl 25%, Bureaucracy 10%, Climb 
  40%, Command 5%, Computer Use (Magic) 
  65%, 
  Computer 
  Use 
  (Programming) 
  80%, Craft  5%, Cthulhu Mythos 0%, 
  Demolition 0%, Disguise 20%, Dodge 
  26%, Drive (Auto) 20%, Etiquette 
  5%, Fast Talk 5%, Fine Manipulation 
  10%, Firearms (Esoteric) 45%, First 
  Aid 30%, Gaming 10%, Heavy Machinery 
  5%, Hide 10%, Insight 25%, Jump 
  25%, Knowledge (Accounting) 15%, 
  Knowledge (Espionage) 5%, Knowledge 
  (Law) 
  10%, 
  Knowledge 
  (Occult) 
  20%, Knowledge (Philosophy) 21%, 
  Knowledge (Politics) 5%, Language 
  (English) 85%, Listen 45%, Medicine 
  5%, 
  Navigate 
  10%, 
  Perform 
  5%, 
  Persuade 
  55%, 
  Psychotherapy 
  0%, 
  Repair 15%, Research 45%, Ride 
  5%, 
  Science 
  (Cryptography) 
  51%, 
  Science (Mathematics) 90%, Science 
  (Physics) 51%, Science (Thaumaturgy) 
  40%, Sense 30%, Sleight of Hand 5%, 
  Sorcery 10%, Spot 50%, Status 15%, 
  Stealth 30%, Strategy 0%, Swim 25%, 
  Teach 20%, Technology Use 5%, Throw 
  25%, Track 10%.
  
  192
  The Laundry
  personnel roster 
  Geek (for certain esoteric values 
  of geek)
  ‘We’ll need more power sockets.’ Pete’s eyes 
  are taking on a distant, glazed look and his 
  fingers twitch mousily; ‘We’ll need casemods, 
  need overclocked CPUs, need fuck-off huge 
  screens, 
  double-headed 
  Radeon 
  X1600 
  video cards.’ He begins to shake. ‘Nerf guns, 
  Twinkies, LAN party—’
  — Pimpf
  Age 22, Technical Support
  You used to design modules for 
  online computer games, before you 
  stuck some occult stuff that your 
  mother left lying around into a 
  Delta Green mod for NWN and the 
  Laundry picked you up. Oh, yeah, 
  your mother works for the Laundry 
  too, over in Human Resources. She 
  always hoped you would grow out of 
  computer games.
  You got transferred over to Ops as 
  an assistant computer researcher 
  and apprentice field mage, which 
  means you get to run around with 
  a demon-summoning palmtop and a +3 
  wand of remote control. You even 
  had a Hand of Glory for a while, 
  until your mother took it away. 
  You just got your clearance for 
  fieldwork. It is time to pwn some 
  extra-dimensional evil (as long as 
  you are back home by eight on raid 
  nights). 
  NAME	 	
  							
  	
  												
  YOUNG, PETEr frANCES
  	PERSONNEL	RECORD
  STr 11 CON 08 SIZ 13 INT 14
  POW 14 DEX 09 CHA 08 EDU 16
   
  SAN 70
  HP 11
  Damage Bonus: +0
  Major Wound level: 6
  Experience Bonus: 7
  Move: 8
  Skills: 
  Appraise 
  15%, 
  Art 
  5%, 
  Artillery 0%, Athletics 10%, Bargain 
  25%, Brawl 25%, Bureaucracy 55%, 
  Climb 40%, Command 5%, Computer Use 
  (Gaming) 70%, Computer Use (Hacking) 
  60%, Computer Use (Magic) 40%, 
  Computer Use (Repair) 40%, Craft 
  5%, Cthulhu Mythos 0%, Demolition 
  0%, Disguise 25%, Dodge 38%, Drive 
  (Auto) 20%, Etiquette 5%, Fast 
  Talk 5%, Fine Manipulation 10%, 
  Firearm (Esoteric) 10%, First Aid 
  50%, Gaming 30%, Heavy Machinery 
  5%,Hide 55%, Insight 25%, Jump 
  25%, Knowledge (Accounting) 15%, 
  Knowledge (Espionage) 5%, Knowledge 
  (Law) 10%, Knowledge (Occult) 20%, 
  Knowledge (Politics) 10%, Language 
  (4334) 20%, Language (English) 80%, 
  Listen 25%, Medicine 5%, Navigate 
  10%, Perform 5%, Persuade 35%, Repair 
  (Electronics) 45%, Research 55%, 
  Ride 5%, Sense 30%, Sleight of Hand 
  25%, Sorcery 5%, Spot 50%, Status 
  15%, Stealth 10%, Swim 25%, Teach 
  10%, Technology Use (Surveillance) 
  65%, Throw 25%, Track 10%.
  
  193
  18 PerSonneL
  personnel roster 
  Chapter eighteen
  Time-Shifted librarian
  We don’t use the Dewey Decimal Catalogue 
  to locate volumes in here; our requirements 
  are sufficiently specialised that we have to 
  use the system devised by Professor Angell of 
  Brown University and subsequently known 
  as the Codex Mathemagica.
  — The Atrocity Archives
  Age Uncertain, Archives
  It was 1950; you were 29 years old. 
  You had worked in the SOE during the 
  war and afterwards an old friend of 
  yours, Henshaw, offered you a job in 
  another department as an archivist. 
  Wishing to avoid the scrum of the 
  private sector, you accepted with 
  alacrity and became one of the 
  Laundry’s first librarians. 
  Then, a few years later, there was 
  an incident, the nature of which 
  is still something of a mystery to 
  you. You were pushing a cart of 
  unshelved folders down the tunnel, 
  you turned a corner, took a step – 
  and when your foot came down, it 
  was 60 years later. 
  The Laundry chaps were very good 
  about helping you out, once you got 
  over the initial upset about the 
  whole jumping-60-years-forward-in-
  time thing. The whole matter is 
  classified and you sare not supposed 
  to discuss it with anyone (except 
  the clerks down in Pensions, who 
  are trying to decide if time spent 
  in a ‘temporal anomaly’ count for 
  time served). You are moderately 
  confident that you are ready to 
  rejoin the modern world and have 
  applied for active field duty. You 
  have spent quite enough time down 
  in the Stacks, after all. 
  NAME	 	
  							
  	
  												
  BlAkE, jErOME
  	PERSONNEL	RECORD
   STr 11 CON 12 SIZ 13 INT 12
  POW 12 DEX 10 CHA 13 EDU 16
  SAN 40
  HP 13
  Damage Bonus: +0
  Major Wound level: 7
  Experience Bonus: 6
  Move: 8
  Skills: 
  Appraise 
  15%, 
  Art 
  5%, 
  Artillery 0%, Athletics  10%, Bargain 
  5%, Brawl 25%, Bureaucracy 20%, 
  Climb 40%, Command 45%, Computer 
  Use 10%, Craft (Bookbinding) 25%, 
  Cthulhu Mythos 0%, Dodge 20%, Drive 
  (Auto) 20%, Etiquette 5%, Fast 
  Talk 25%, Fine Manipulation 10%, 
  Firearm (Handgun) 50%, First Aid 
  30%, Gaming 10%, Heavy Machinery 
  5%, Hide 50%, Insight 65%, Jump 
  25%, Knowledge (Accounting) 15%, 
  Knowledge (Espionage) 15%, Knowledge 
  (History) 80%, Knowledge (Law) 20%, 
  Knowledge (Occult) 70%, Knowledge 
  (Politics) 10%, Language (English) 
  80%, Language (German) 40%, Language 
  (Latin) 40%, Listen 25%, Medicine 
  5%, 
  Navigate 
  20%, 
  Perform 
  5%, 
  Persuade 15%, Repair  15%, Research 
  85%, Ride 5%, Science (Thaumaturgy) 
  20%, Science (Zoology) 20%, Sense 
  30%, Sleight of Hand 5%, Sorcery 
  0%, Spot 30%, Status 15%, Stealth 
  40%, Strategy 40%, Swim 25%, Teach 
  40%, Technology Use 5%, Throw 25%, 
  Track 10%.
  
  194
  The Laundry
  personnel roster 
  Chapter eighteen
  Bubbly Necromancer
  Age 27, residual Human resources
  You graduated with a 2:1 in Management 
  Studies and Career Guidance, so 
  obviously the best place to apply 
  your 
  skills 
  was… 
  fighting 
  the 
  forces of extra-dimensional evil 
  (You probably should have guided 
  your own career a little better). 
  You work in the Laundry’s Human 
  Resources department, specifically 
  the 
  Residual 
  Human 
  Resources 
  section – counselling the zombies 
  and the… other things. Really, it is 
  not too different to giving career 
  guidance to bored teenagers. Or, 
  at least you did until recently. 
  Human Resources internal politics 
  are infamously vicious and given 
  a choice between switching to field 
  operations 
  and 
  being 
  devoured 
  by your minio – er, subordinate 
  Residual Human Resources, you took 
  the less immediately lethal option.
  You are looking forward to synergising 
  and 
  streamlining 
  Operations 
  in 
  accordance with ISO9001-certified 
  approved procedures by involving 
  all stakeholders in a collective 
  commitment 
  to 
  Total 
  Occult 
  Security 
  Quality 
  through 
  fully 
  visualised vision statements to 
  propagate positive feedback loops 
  throughout all levels via honest 
  dialogue 
  mediated 
  by 
  cultural/
  social/ethnic/esoteric sensitivity 
  and open accountability. You have 
  heard that some people in Ops do 
  not like Human Resources (allegedly 
  because HR just babbles meaningless 
  buzzwords) but you are confident of 
  putting your talents for management 
  and necromancy to good use in the 
  field.
  NAME	 	
  							
  	
  												
  MOrrIS, jANE
  	PERSONNEL	RECORD
  STr 10 CON 08 SIZ 11 INT 12
   
  POW 12 DEX 12 CHA 10 EDU 15
  SAN 60
  HP 10
  Damage Bonus: +0
  Major Wound level: 5
  Experience Bonus: 6
  Move: 8
  Skills: 
  Appraise 
  35%, 
  Art 
  5%, 
  Athletics 10%, Bargain 50%, Brawl 
  25%, Bureaucracy 70%, Climb 40%, 
  Command 35%, Computer Use (magic) 
  50%, Craft  5%, Cthulhu Mythos 
  0%, Dodge 24%, Drive (Auto) 20%, 
  Etiquette 
  50%, 
  Fast 
  Talk 
  65%, 
  Fine 
  Manipulation 
  10%, 
  Firearm 
  (Esoteric) 30%, First Aid 30%, Gaming 
  10%, Grapple 35%, Heavy Machinery 
  5%, Hide 10%, Insight 25%, Jump 
  25%, Knowledge (Accounting) 40%, 
  Knowledge (Espionage) 5%, Knowledge 
  (Law) 10%, Knowledge (Occult) 45%, 
  Knowledge (Politics) 30%, Language 
  (English) 80%, Language (Enochian) 
  20%, 
  Listen 
  25%, 
  Medicine 
  5%, 
  Navigate 10%, Perform (Flute) 25%, 
  Persuade 35%, Repair 15%, Research 
  25%, Ride  5%, Science (Biology) 
  55%, Science (Thaumaturgy) 50%, 
  Sense 60%, Sleight of Hand 5%, 
  Sorcery 20%, Spot 30%, Status 15%, 
  Stealth 10%, Strategy 0%, Swim 25%, 
  Teach 10%, Technology Use  5%, Throw 
  25%, Track 10%.
  
  195
  18 PerSonneL
  personnel roster 
  legitimate Spook
  Age 33, Intelligence liaison Office
  Technically, you work for the 
  Security Service (better known as 
  MI5) but for the last few weeks 
  you have been on extended loan 
  to the Laundry (better known 
  as the sound of your career 
  being gutted). Your role is to 
  help the two organisations work 
  together, to learn how the Laundry 
  operates and to teach them how 
  the professionals do it. Your 
  superiors in MI5 do not hold 
  the Laundry in high regard and 
  consider them to be slipshod, 
  unpredictable, eccentric and quite 
  possibly insane. You have tried to 
  keep an open mind but after six 
  weeks reading briefing documents 
  that seem to be half civil service 
  mandarin jargon and half lunatic 
  rambling, you are feeling a little 
  unstable yourself. Apparently, the 
  Laundry believes in all manner 
  of ghosts and goblins and while 
  you are willing to accept that 
  there might be something strange 
  out there, you refuse to believe 
  that some bat-winged squid god is 
  sleeping under the ocean. 
  Perhaps when you get out into 
  the field, you will be able to 
  make better judgements about the 
  Laundry. You are here to give them 
  operational support, the benefit of 
  your experience.
  NAME	 	
  							
  	
  												
  BlOCH, HENrY
  	PERSONNEL	RECORD
  STr 10 CON 14 SIZ 12 INT 13
  POW 09 DEX 13 CHA 13 EDU 15
  SAN 45
  HP 13
  Damage Bonus: +0
  Major Wound level: 7
  Experience Bonus: 7
  Move: 8
  Skills: 
  Appraise 
  35%, 
  Art 
  5%, 
  Athletics 10%, Bargain 5%, Brawl 
  25%, Bureaucracy 20%, Climb 40%, 
  Command 5%, Computer Use 10%, Cthulhu 
  Mythos 0%, Disguise 60%, Dodge 46%, 
  Drive (Auto) 20%, Etiquette 15%, 
  Fast Talk 5%, Fine Manipulation 30%, 
  Firearm (Handgun) 40%, First Aid 
  50%, Gaming 10%, Heavy Machinery 
  5%, Hide 50%, Insight 5%, Jump 
  25%, Knowledge (Accounting) 15%, 
  Knowledge (Espionage) 55%, Knowledge 
  (Law) 10%, Knowledge (Occult) 10%, 
  Knowledge (Politics) 60%, Language 
  (Arabic) 20%, Language (English) 
  75%, Listen 65%, Medicine  5%, 
  Navigate 30%, Perform 5%, Persuade 
  25%, Pilot (Light airplane) 20%, 
  Repair 15%, Research 65%, Ride 
  (Horse) 25%, Sense 10%, Sleight 
  of Hand 25%, Spot 60%, Status 25%, 
  Stealth 60%, Swim 25%, Teach 10%, 
  Technology Use (Surveillance) 25%, 
  Throw 25%, Track 10%.
  
  196
  The Laundry
  personnel roster 
  Ex-Cultist
  Age 27, Armoury
  They fuck you up, your mom and dad 
  – too right. Not many people had 
  your sort of trouble, though. Mom 
  and dad were cultists, members of 
  a group called the Order of Starry 
  Wisdom. The church had a compound 
  in Omaha, where they worshipped 
  strange forgotten gods and waited 
  for the apocalyptic showdown with 
  the One World Government. Everyone 
  in the church had to be ready for 
  the end times; you got your own 
  assault rifle for your 14th birthday. 
  Life in the cult was… it was bad. 
  There are wards in your brain, now, 
  memories suppressed and erased for 
  your own protection.
  When you were 19, the Order sent you 
  and six other initiates to England 
  – one of the mid-ranking priests 
  had gone rogue and your orders were 
  to sacrifice him to the Haunter of 
  the Dark. It turned out that he had 
  defected to the Laundry and they 
  were waiting for you as soon as 
  you stepped off the plane. You were 
  all arrested and detained under 
  counter-terrorism laws.
  While you were in detention, you 
  were told that the Order was gone. 
  They had all killed themselves. Your 
  parents, your sisters, everyone you 
  ever knew, gone in a mass suicide 
  pact. The Laundry deprogrammed you… 
  defused you, really. Stopped you 
  killing yourself along with the 
  rest of the cult. It took you years 
  to go from prisoner to patient to, 
  eventually, Laundry recruit. It is 
  a way to work out your issues. 
  NAME	 	
  							
  	
  												
  HAlWEll, ElEANOr
  	PERSONNEL	RECORD
  STr 16 CON 14 SIZ 11 INT 11
  POW 10 DEX 12 CHA 09 EDU 12
  SAN 30
  HP 13
  Damage Bonus: +1d4
  Major Wound level: 7
  Experience Bonus: 6
  Move: 8
  Skills: 
  Appraise 
  15%, 
  Art 
  5%, 
  Athletics 10%, Bargain 5%, Brawl 
  25%, Bureaucracy 10%, Climb 40%, 
  Command 25%, Computer Use 10%, 
  Craft 
  5%, 
  Cthulhu 
  Mythos 
  5%, 
  Demolition 20%, Dodge 24%, Drive 
  (auto) 20%, Etiquette 5%, Fast Talk 
  25%, Fine Manipulation 10%, Firearm 
  (Submachine gun) 70%, First Aid 
  30%, Gaming 10%, Heavy Machinery 
  5%, Hide 60%, Insight 25%, Jump 
  25%, Knowledge (Accounting) 15%, 
  Knowledge (Espionage) 5%, Knowledge 
  (Law) 
  10%, 
  Knowledge 
  (Occult) 
  60%, Knowledge (Philosophy) 20%, 
  Knowledge (Politics) 10%, Language 
  (English) 60%, Listen 65%, Medicine  
  5%, Melee Weapon (Dagger) 45%, 
  Navigate 10%, Perform 5%, Persuade 
  15%, Repair 15%, Research 45%, Ride 
  5%, Sense 60%, Sleight of Hand 5%, 
  Sorcery 0%, Spot 50%, Status 15%, 
  Stealth 60%, Strategy 20%, Swim 
  25%, Teach 10%, Technology Use 5%, 
  Throw 25%, Track 10%.
  
  197
  19  arChIveS
  In the labyrinth of the Stacks, there are files on every 
  supernatural encounter and threat the Laundry and its 
  precursors have faced. Each anonymous manila folder 
  contains documents, photographs, copies of reports of 
  police arrests, autopsies, alien sightings and supporting 
  evidence – newspaper clippings that seem utterly 
  unremarkable unless you know the secret truth, artefacts and 
  sample jars, the occasional thing floating in formaldehyde. 
  If you know the true names, you can summon up these 
  sleeping demons.
  Browsing the Stacks is not permitted. Visiting them is 
  discouraged. The shambling zombie staff can retrieve 
  whatever documents are needed with minimal risk. If you 
  go into the Stacks without a guide, you are in danger of 
  becoming lost in a maze of twisty corridors, all alike. It is 
  very dark. You may be eaten by a Librarian.
  This chapter contains extracts from a number of active files 
  from the Stacks, which may be photocopied and given to 
  Player Characters with the requisite clearances. 
  Monsters and Their Kynde
  Creatures are divided into two categories – Exonomes 
  (demons, entities from other universes) and Autonomes 
  (natives of this cosmology). The chief difference is that 
  all those useful spells like bindings and banishments work 
  on demons but do not do much to other locals. (Some 
  creatures, like PLUTO KOBOLD, straddle the line.) 
  Characteristics
  Demons, monsters, accountants and other eldritch entities 
  use the same characteristics and skills as human characters. 
  They do not have a Sanity score, though, and some creatures 
  have either natural armour (tough hide, rugose scales) or 
  an inherent resistance to some form of damage. Monster 
  characteristics are presented as a range of values as well as 
  an average score – use values towards the higher end of the 
  range for more dangerous or powerful foes.
  Attacks
  Basic attacks and damage ranges for each monster are 
  listed in the description, but these should be used as only 
  vague guidelines by the GM. If, say, a Deep One knows 
  it is going to be attacked by pesky surface monkeys, then 
  it might come packing some alien death ray instead of a 
  fishing spear. Similarly, for demons, they can alter reality in 
  various ways and given time, a hostile demon can work out 
  how to turn your blood into dioxygen diflouride or just suck 
  your soul out through your eyeballs. Eldritch horrors do not 
  take kindly to being boiled down to a few abstract numbers.
  Sanity Loss
  Each monster lists a SAN loss. See Chapter 8: Sanity and 
  Insanity.
  Special Abilities and Spells
  Some monster species have their own strange powers. 
  Others are capable of casting spells, in the same way a 
  sorcerer screws with reality. In either case, powers and spells 
  are listed after the creature’s description.
  Characteristics for Demons
  Usually, you will only need a demon’s INT and POW – they 
  are non-physical beings, after all. Their other statistics are 
  given in cases where it is likely the demon will manifest 
  physically or a Player Character plays demon Pokémon.
  exonomes
  Level One Entities
  Level One entities barely qualify as existing. They are 
  transient forms, blipping in and out of reality. They are 
  cosmic plankton at best. Even in our space-time, there are 
  hundreds of these things around you at all times. They 
  interact only weakly with matter, but turn on a Tillinghast 
  resonator and you see them swimming around like ugly 
  ghosts. The ones that are native to our reality are ghosts 
  – they are the echoes of long-faded EM fields, including 
  the bioelectric residue of the human nervous system (but 
  you are just as likely to run into the ghost of a TV set or an 
  old granite wall). They have no volition, but stimulate them 
  with a thaum field or strong emotions and you might see a 
  response, like a cold spot or a momentary manifestation. 
  Parlour tricks, really.
  The Level Ones that are not native are just passing through 
  during a momentary congruency between our space-time 
  and some other. They are even more harmless than ghosts 
  and even harder to detect without specialised equipment. 
  In general, it takes more energy to get a Level One to do 
  anything useful than it does to just do it yourself. Sure, you 
  can run a Tillinghast Resonator in the middle of a circle of 
  avid spiritualists or a simple circuit grounded in the ether if 
  you want to speak to Great-Aunt Mabel, but really all you 
  have called up is the externalised psychic echo of your own 
  memories of Mabel and she cannot tell you anything that 
  you do not already know. 
  The archives
   
  ChapTer nineTeen
  WARNING: THE FOLLOWING DOCUMENT IS CLASSIFIED SECRET PROVIDENCE 
  GOLD. IF YOU DO NOT HAVE PROVIDENCE GOLD CLEARANCE, STOP READING 
  IMMEDIATELY! 
  
  The Laundry
  198
  Knowledge Management 
  In Action
  EXONOMES 
  (Non-Native Invocees, Non-Physical Entities/NPE, External Intelligences (EIs), ‘Demons’)
  Any non-physical entity from another universe that is summoned by means of a charged Dho-Na 
  curve may be termed a demon. They are entities from cosmoses wholly unlike our own, to which 
  we communicate or invoke using the platonic realm of mathematics. For most personnel, an 
  understanding of the underlying metaphysics is not required (completion of the course Introduction 
  to Computational Summoning and Dee-Turing Theory and DL4 certification is required before 
  invoking any entities above Level One). 
  Summoning Best Practices
  When dealing with any summoned entity, the following safety precautions must be kept in mind 
  at all times:
  •	
  Summonings should only be carried out in approved laboratory conditions.
  •	
  Do not enter a summoning chamber when the Grid light is illuminated.
  •	
  Do not break or cross the perimeter of any charged pentacles or grids. Binding pathways 
  should be clearly marked at all times.
  •	
  If ordered to remain inside a protective pentacle, do not leave it under any circumstances.
  •	
  All entities are to be constrained with suitable compliance protocols (geas) as soon as 
  possible.
  •	
  Do not make physical contact with the entity at any time. Physical contact will lead to 
  possession. A warding amulet of a class at least equal to the Arneson-Crowley rating of 
  the entity should be worn at all times.  
  •	
  Do not look directly at the entity. Protective eyewear with polarised lenses should be worn 
  at all times. 
  •	
  Do not summon anything you cannot put down.
  •	
  Do not summon anything bigger than your head without written approval.
  Exonomic Theory
  Occult traditions call them demons, or djinn, or kami, or Gods. Official policy is to call them Non-
  Native Invocatees, or just Other-Dimensional Entities. Around the office, we call them demons 
  usually. Or Fred. They are the denizens of other dimensions, far removed from our universe. Most 
  of them are not much more intelligent than your average Daily Mail reader or housecat, although 
  time flows differently or not at all in their home dimensions, so some of them are capable of 
  seeming omniscient. Other, more dangerous entities are a great deal smarter. They are – for the 
  most part, anyway – incapable of reaching our reality. The exceptions are a few, rare ‘thin places’ 
  where our reality is congruent to theirs or when they are called up using a spell.
  Page 1 of 2
  
  199
  19  arChIveS
  The archives 
  Chapter nineteen
  Summoned demons are only weakly present in our reality, meaning they can be banished 
  comparatively easily or restrained by a suitable containment grid. Even without intervention, 
  entropy scramble demonic integrity within a few thousand seconds under normal circumstances. 
  If a demon wants to hang around, it needs a host of some sort. Demons can possess any 
  computation system – humans are ideal, but demonically possessed animals or even computers 
  are possible. The more powerful demons put a lot of strain onto their host’s processing ability, 
  so if you bind Belial into, say, a puppy, then you get about 10 seconds of Satanic yipping before 
  Fluffy’s brain explodes. 
  Many of the smarter and more aggressive demons speak like B-movie monsters. Up until the 20th 
  Century, the only contact they had with humanity was with medieval diabolists and exorcists and 
  the demons learned to play along with what was expected of them. If speaking in bad Latin and 
  muttering about devouring souls got them their reward faster, they would do it, in the same way 
  a dog will beg for snacks. 
  Demons are not composed of anything like terrestrial matter. They’re spirits, thaumic forms, 
  entities from other universes where the laws of physics are weirder, call it what you will. Most 
  demons are non-native to our space-time; there are a few entities like ghosts that are native. 
  These technically aren’t demons, but behave in a similar way. In practice, a demon is ‘a thing 
  you can get rid of with a banishing spell’. A monster is something that you have to banish the old-
  fashioned way, with a double-barrel shotgun and a chainsaw.
  Technically, almost any spell conjures a demon but in most cases you do not want the entity to 
  hang around our dimension at all. The spell calls the beastie up, squirts some tasty energy at it and 
  in return the demon screws with our reality a little before vanishing back whence it came. Practical 
  summoning requires a little more preparation. You need the Dho-Nha curve corresponding to the 
  region of alien space-time where the entity you seek dwells and you need the processing power 
  to open up an informational transfer gate to that region. Depending on the demon, you may also 
  need a sacrifice; some entities are lazy and need to be lured out with a tasty virgin or a soul or 
  a 9-volt battery, while others are more than willing to come through. (The latter often have the 
  ulterior agenda of ‘eat brains’.) 
  You do not need the entity’s true name. It is still a very good idea to know it, though. With the true 
  name you can set up protective measures in your summoning incantation so that only the right 
  entity comes through. Summoning without a true name could call up almost anything.
  Classifying Demons
  The Arneson-Crowley scale is the conventional accepted scale for measuring demonic entities 
  (except in France, where they use the metric CROC scale). This measures demonic magnitude 
  from I to V, based on their intelligence and power. Within each level, there are numerous sub-
  grades and categories. Level One entities are all a lot less dangerous than Level Fours, but that 
  does not mean all Level Ones are equally harmless.
  As a rule of thumb, if a demon gets loose:
  Level One: Mostly harmless.
  Level Two: Will eat your brain.
  Level Three: Will eat everyone’s brain.
  Level Four: Run.
  Level Five: Everyone dies, no save. 
  Page 2 of 2
  
  The Laundry
  200
  Level One Entities do not have the strength to maintain 
  a possession for long. A Level One might be able to grab 
  hold of an individual’s nervous system for a second or two 
  but that is all. The strain of that would cause the entity to 
  dissipate soon afterwards. Ever sneezed for no reason? That 
  was a thin ghost being pwned by your brain. Native Level 
  Ones can persist indefinitely; as long as there is sufficient 
  thaumic flux to coax them into existence. Extra-planar 
  Level Ones phase in and out so often that banishing one is 
  like squishing down bubbles of wallpaper paste – you can 
  get rid of one but the act of banishing probably lets another 
  four or five phase in. Really, if you are troubled by a Level 
  One pest, you are better off chasing it away with a rolled-up 
  newspaper.
  LEVEL ONE ENTITY, The Formless
  Characteristic 
  Rolls 
   
  Averages
  INT 
   
  1d6 to 2d6 
  3–4 to 7
  POW 
   
  2d6 to 3d6 
  7 to 10–11
  Weapons: Unfathomable tentacles, energy fields or sharp 
  pointy teeth 40%, damage 1d3
  Sanity Loss: 0/1d4 the first time a character sees a Level 
  One entity. After that, they are not that scary.
  Common Powers
  •	
  Create harmless but unsettling cold or hot spots.
  •	
  Minor auditory or visual hallucinations.
  •	
  Mildly influence the emotional state of a human.
  •	
  Go bump in the night.
  Poltergeists
  Repeater ghosts are all psychic echoes and no volition; 
  poltergeists are the exact opposite. They are churning 
  little vortices of want and need that are incapable of stating 
  their desires. They can generate mild temper tantrums and 
  telekinetically throw objects around when provoked. Their 
  origin is a mystery – it has been suggested that they are 
  thaumic eddies or the psychic residue of newborn children 
  or hormones – but they are a lot more annoying than other 
  ghosts.
  Telekinesis: Poltergeists can throw objects with a skill of 
  30%. Hurled objects deal 1 to 1d6 damage, depending on 
  size. 
  Ectoplasm Wallah
  These are a specific type of ghost, much prized by spiritualists, 
  occultists and Laundry researchers with a childish sense of 
  humour. Ectoplasm Wallahs can precipitate a slimy goo out 
  of moisture in the air and floating organic material like dead 
  skin cells. This gelatinous shroud is used by some spirits to 
  form physical bodies for themselves or – in the case of the 
  aforementioned Laundry pranksters – to slime people.
  Ectoplasm Wallahs do look quite impressive, floating there 
  draped in ghostly shrouds and manipulating this image of 
  their previous selves like a ghastly puppet. Just make sure 
  you clean up before Health and Safety inspectors call ‘round.
  Ectoplasm Generation: An ectoplasm wallah can generate 
  ectoplasm up to its POW in SIZ each round, to a maximum 
  of its POW x 10. Ectoplasmic barriers have an effective 
  STR equal to 1/5th their SIZ. 
  Imp of  the Perverse
  This is a minor possessor entity coupled with a low-level 
  geas effect. The imp rides along in the nervous system of 
  the host but does not possess the host except in certain 
  circumstances and only for a few seconds. The geas is 
  placed on the imp, not on the host and compels the imp 
  to guide the host down certain pathways. Let us say Alice 
  wants to compel Bob to meet her but she knows that Bob 
  is checked for geas once a day by Eve. Alice therefore sticks 
  an Imp of the Perverse on Bob. The imp stays dormant 
  and nigh-undetectable during Eve’s scans but when Bob is 
  about to make a trivial decision that might bring him closer 
  to Alice, the imp pops up and whispers in his ear, nudging 
  him to make the wrong choice.
  Stealth Possessor: The Imp of the Perverse is hard to spot 
  using standard spells; it takes a Level Two scrying spell or 
  the equivalent to detect it.
  
  201
  19  arChIveS
  Repeating Ghost
  These are your classic haunt – the sort of ghost that 
  rattles its chains and hangs around old insane asylums 
  and Hampton Court. There is no sentience here, just the 
  echo of a long-vanished nervous system imprinted on a 
  thaumic field. These thin ghosts usually repeat whatever 
  they commonly did in life or at moments of high stress, 
  which is why you see Roman guards marching up and down 
  or murder victims begging for mercy (you can even get 
  repeating ghosts of people who are not dead – they are just 
  psychic echoes generated by strong emotion). 
  Repeating ghosts are harmless. They can be easily exorcised 
  by clearing the thaumic field. It is possible to use a séance 
  to raise the ghost up to a Level Two entity and actually have 
  something of a conversation with it in order to ‘read’ the 
  data stored in the psychic echo. 
  GHOSTS, Psychic Echoes
  Characteristic 
  Rolls 
   
  Averages
  STR 
   
  2d6 
   
  7
  CON 
   
  3d6 
   
  10–11
  SIZ 
   
  2d6+6  
  13
  INT 
   
  2d6 
   
  7
  POW 
   
  2d6 
   
  7
  DEX 
   
  3d6 
   
  10–11
  Move: 6  
   
  HP: 11
  Average Damage Bonus: None
  Weapons: None, usually. Especially aggressive spectres 
  may be able to inflict minor wounds (treat as an attack at 
  40%, dealing 1d3 damage). 
  Sanity Loss: 0/1d3 to 1/1d6, depending on how horrific 
  the ghost is.
  Level Two Entities
  Level Two Entities are no more dangerous than Level One 
  – assuming proper safety precautions are taken. Contained 
  in a suitable grid, a Level Two has no chance of breaking 
  out. Even if it does break out, you have got, oh, a good six 
  seconds to say goodbye to friends and co-workers before it 
  maps your nervous system and nests itself in your cerebral 
  cortex. Level Twos are still pretty dumb, but they can learn 
  to use a human host after only a few minutes of flopping 
  and flailing. Some can even speak. Braaaaaains. 
  Level Twos are pretty useful. The most common use for a 
  Level Two is to stick it into a relatively intact corpse to turn 
  it into a zombie. Level Twos are tractable enough that you 
  can stick a basic geas onto the possessor to create a faithful 
  and loyal servant who hardly ever tries to smash your skull 
  open. Offensive wards often contain a slumbering Level 
  Two entity, who is bound to chew the face off anyone who 
  breaks the ward. 
  Without a suitable host or containment system, Level Twos 
  can only survive in our reality for a few dozen seconds 
  before boiling off. 
  LEVEL TWO ENTITIES, 
  Lesser Horrors from Beyond
  Characteristic 
  Rolls 
   
  Averages
  INT 
   
  1d6–3d6  
  3–4 to 10–11
  POW 
   
  3d6–4d6  
  10–11 to 14
  Weapons: Tentacles, spines, tongues, fangs, radiation or 
  geometrical manipulations 50%, damage 1d6
  Sanity Loss: 1/1d6 on average.
  Common Powers
  •	
  Possess a single unprotected human, who may or 
  may not survive.
  •	
  Create noticeable auditory or visual hallucinations.
  •	
  Injure physical objects.
  •	
  Alter reality in minor ways.
  Feeder in the Night (HAGS, CRESCENT 
  BLACK)
  The Feeders are a particularly unpleasant type of Class Two 
  entity. They lurk in darker, older universes than ours, ones 
  an awful lot closer to heat death where entropy holds sway. 
  The Feeders hunger for energy and information. Feeders 
  sometimes break through into our reality without help; the 
  cause of these disturbing breakthroughs is still unknown, 
  but it is speculated they can somehow worm their way in 
  through dream channels (causing night terrors, cot deaths 
  and waking up as a soul-eating horror).
  Seen through a Tillinghast resonator, they look a little like 
  animated shadows and a little like hackfish – a delightful 
  species of eyeless worms that feed on carrion at the bottom 
  of the ocean. They are not especially intelligent but they 
  have got the frenetic savagery of a school of piranha that 
  feed on souls. The feeders travel in shoals or packs, so one 
  summoning spell can call up multiple (3d6) entities.
  Fire Vampire (PYRETIC PHANTASM, 
  ELMO TWO)
  A highly aggressive Class Two entity, Fire Vampires are 
  pinpoint gateways into hotter, denser places. They are 
  creatures of magnetism and gravity instead of flesh and 
  blood, who ‘think’ by channelling superhot plasma through 
  loops and folds of space-time. Being summoned into our 
  neck of the cosmos is lethal to Fire Vampires, as they cool 
  rapidly and perish. It is no fun for the summoner, either – 
  Fire Vampires are best invoked while wearing the traditional 
  sorcerer’s accoutrements of a lead-lined jockstrap, an NBC 
  suit and heat-deflecting foil, as they throw off enough heat 
  and hard radiation to do a good impression of a small star. 
  When summoned, an unrestrained Fire Vampire desperately 
  tries to down-step its thought processes from channelled 
  plasma into something more suitable. Most try to seize 
  control of the nearest suitable computation system – i.e. 
  a sufficiently complex brain, usually that of the sorcerer. 
  The Vampire piggybacks on the victim’s thoughts even as 
  it incinerates him.
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  FIRE VAMPIRES, the Flame Feeders
  Characteristic 
  Rolls 
   
  Averages
  STR 
   
  N/A 
   
  – 
  CON 
   
  2d6 
   
  7
  SIZ 
   
  1 
   
  1
  INT 
   
  3d6 
   
  10–11
  POW 
   
  2d6+6  
  13
  DEX 
   
  3d6+6  
  16–17
  Move: 11 flying HP: 4
  Average Damage Bonus: N/A
  Weapons: Touch 80%, damage 2d6 burn +1d10 temporary 
  POW damage. 
  Armour: Material weapons cannot harm a fire vampire. 
  A fire extinguisher deals 1d6 damage to the incandescent 
  creature; large volumes of water or extremely low 
  temperatures can also damage the entity.
  Sanity Loss: 1/1d4.
  Gremlin
  Gremlins are a species of nameless extra-dimensional 
  horrors that have taken to the modern age like a chicken 
  to battery farming. They like to infest complex electronic 
  devices and make little nests in your bits and bytes, to screw 
  up your code and make your shielded, secure, doubly-
  backed up backup with an uninterruptible power supply 
  spontaneously combust. They are malicious little spirits.
  Before the advent of computing, gremlins were rarely 
  encountered; there were not too many complex systems 
  for them to infest and they are not capable of possessing 
  human hosts (probably because our voltage is too low). 
  Since the development of computing, gremlins have 
  become an increasingly troublesome problem. Fortunately, 
  gremlins are loathe to move once they have nested, so a 
  single gremlin usually takes up residence in one particular 
  machine or section of code and stays there until banished. 
  Large-scale gremlin infestations, though, can spread across 
  multiple networks and cause commensurate chaos.
  The Y2K bug was used as an excuse to install anti-gremlin 
  wards on most commercial servers, preventing a feared 
  gremlinisation of the Internet. Gremlins are commonly 
  used as part of info-war attacks and hacking attempts; they 
  are slower than just using conventional malware but are 
  more adaptable and harder to get rid of. 
  Skills: Computer Use (Hacking) 70%
  Lamia
  Lamias are demonic security systems. They are composed 
  of a demon in a hot pentacle, wired to a computer that runs 
  the summoning spell to keep the demon in place as well as 
  surveillance webcams throughout the secure site. The lamia 
  can monitor the feed from these cameras and use her lure 
  ability on any intruders. Once lured to the lamia’s physical 
  body, the demon snacks on these victims. 
  Lamia cannot move outside of the summoning pentacle. In 
  most cases, the lamia is installed either in a central location 
  (typically, disguised as a receptionist or security guard) or 
  in an out-of-the-way place where the bodies of victims will 
  not be noticed. It is possible to use a larger pentacle to give 
  the lamia free run of the building but that increases the cost 
  and vulnerability of the summoning grid.
  LAMIA, the Hungry
  Characteristic 
  Rolls 
   
  Averages
  STR 
   
  3d6+6  
  16–17 
  CON 
   
  3d6 
   
  10–11
  SIZ 
   
  2d6+3  
  10
  INT 
   
  2d6 
   
  7
  POW 
   
  2d6 
   
  7
  DEX 
   
  3d6 
   
  10–11
  APP 
   
  2d6+3  
  10
  Move: 6  
  HP: 10
  Average Damage Bonus: None
  Weapons: Claw 50%, damage 1d8; Spit Acid 40%, 
  damage 1d6
  Armour: Non-magical weapons do minimum damage to 
  the Lamia.
  Sanity Loss: 1/1d6 .
  Lure: This is a Level Two geas effect that the lamia can cast 
  on anyone within both her line of sight and within a certain 
  distance of her physical body (usually within 250 metres). 
  The victim of the geas is compelled to come to the lamia. 
  He may attempt to resist by making a POW vs POW roll 
  against the lamia. 
  
  203
  19  arChIveS
  Hell-hound
  Take your average canine and stick a Level Two demon in it. 
  Wait a while. If you are of a sensitive disposition, you may 
  want to stay out of earshot – the sound of bones cracking 
  and warping under supernatural stress is not a nice one. 
  Return, vacuum up the shed hairs and the slime and the 
  blood, and stick on a suitably spiky collar (engraved with 
  a geas and with a conductive circle of copper woven into 
  the Rune of Al-Sabbah). Congratulations! You know have 
  a genuine hell-hound. It looks like a dog, barks like a dog, 
  has the cancer-riddled demon-twisted physiology of a dog 
  but it can also blend with the shadows and breathe balefire. 
  Despite their warped and tortured physical forms, hell-
  hounds are a good investment for a budding diabolist, as 
  the demon keeps the dog’s body moving for months after 
  death. A hell-hound can last up to 10 years before the dead 
  dog falls apart and the nerves burn out.
  HELL-HOUND, Possessed Puppy
  Characteristic 
  Rolls 
   
  Averages
  STR 
   
  2d6+6  
  13 
  CON 
   
  3d6 
   
  10–11
  SIZ 
   
  2d6+1  
  8
  INT 
   
  2d6 
   
  7–8
  POW 
   
  3d6 
   
  10–11
  DEX 
   
  2d6+6  
  13
  Move: 12 
  HP: 10
  Average Damage Bonus: None
  Weapons: Bite 40%, damage 1d8; Balefire breath 30%, 
  damage 1d4
  Armour: 1-point fur
  Skills: Hide 60%, Spot Hidden 80%, Track 40%
  Sanity Loss: 0/1d3.
  Lesser Manifestation
  The classic nameless thing from another dimension, a lesser 
  manifestation is a demon that has been physically gated in 
  via a mass portal or, more commonly, a demon that has 
  conjured a body for itself out of local matter. Both forms 
  of manifestation typically involve razor-sharp tentacles, 
  gibbering mouths and excessive numbers of teeth, but 
  manifestations of extra-dimensional matter may also 
  have other, bizarre physical abilities, such as only weakly 
  interacting with gravity or incorporating anti-matter. 
  As the demon is without a host, it must be contained in 
  a summoning grid or else have power pumped into it 
  constantly to maintain its presence in this reality. If the 
  animating demon is banished or destroyed, the manifestation 
  collapses. Non-local matter usually dissipates shortly, leaving 
  behind an odd smell, the occasional stain and – if you are 
  unlucky – a shower of radiation. Manifestations of local 
  matter just fall apart.
  LESSER MANIFESTATION, 
  Devourer from Beyond
  Characteristic 
  Rolls 
   
  Averages
  STR 
   
  2d6+6  
  13 
  CON 
   
  3d6 
   
  10–11
  SIZ 
   
  1d6+6  
  9–10
  INT 
   
  2d6 
   
  7
  POW 
   
  3d6 
   
  10–11
  DEX 
   
  2d6 
   
  7
  Move: 6  
  HP: 10
  Average Damage Bonus: None
  Weapons: Bite 50%, damage 1d8+damage bonus; Tentacle 
  60%, damage 1d6+damage bonus
  Armour: Either 3-point hide or else non-magical weapons 
  automatically do minimum damage.
  Sanity Loss: 1/1d4 to 1/1d8, depending on the appearance 
  of the horror.
   
  Zombie
  Zombies – or, as the Laundry prefers to call them, Residual 
  Human Resources – are human corpses animated by 
  tractable demons under an obedience geas. They are in 
  common use by every occult intelligence agency, research 
  group and necromantic cult in the world, not to mention 
  some criminal syndicates and major supermarket chains. 
  With the geas in place, zombies can be programmed to 
  perform basic tasks (‘guard door!’, ‘sort files’, ‘do data 
  entry’, ‘vote Labour’) without too much danger of it 
  going berserk and trying to eat people’s brains. The use of 
  zombies is so common that there are spells that combine 
  the demon-summoning, the binding and the geasing into a 
  single incantation. (Mass animation spells are also possible 
  and were deployed as early as 1944 on the Eastern Front by 
  the Nazis.)
  Zombies are not entirely mindless but they are pretty 
  dumb. You can fast talk your way past a zombie guard easily 
  enough if there is a loophole in his programming. In the 
  case of simple tasks, though (‘kill anyone who isn’t me’), the 
  zombie is as relentless and unyielding as one might expect a 
  fleshy robot to be.
   
  The Black Chamber makes use of zombies as remote-
  control agents. A sympathetic link is established between 
  zombie and a remote-viewing operator; the operator then 
  rides the demon-animated zombie body at minimal risk to 
  himself. 
  (Statistics overleaf.)
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  204
  Zombies
  Characteristic 
  Rolls 
   
  Averages
  STR 
   
  3d6 x 1.5  
  15–17 
  CON 
   
  3d6 x 1.5  
  15–17
  SIZ 
   
  2d6+6  
  13
  INT 
   
  1 
   
  1
  POW 
   
  1 
   
  1
  DEX 
   
  2d6 
   
  7
  Move: 6  
  HP: 14–15
  Average Damage Bonus: +1D4
  Weapons: Claw 30%, damage 1d3+damage bonus
  Armour: None, but impaling weapons do one point of 
  damage and all others do half damage.
  Sanity Loss: 1/1d4, more if you knew the zombie in life.
  Level Three Entities
  Some Level Three Entities are roughly on a par with human 
  intelligence, more or less. They are capable of generating 
  considerable supernatural effects and can be insightful 
  or even charming. Others are not sapient but come from 
  universes where time flows much quicker than ours, letting 
  them emulate sapience through brute-force.
  It is possible for a Level Three entity to remain in our 
  reality for long periods – they are usually powerful enough 
  to hang on for several hundred thousand seconds without 
  external anchors and with a suitable host they can endure 
  for centuries or more.
  Level Three entities are the upper limit of ‘safe’ summoning 
  – if you intend to summon a Level Four or greater extra-
  dimensional entity, then you must file your request with the 
  Counterpossession Bureau and the Department of Internal 
  Security. You should also notify next of kin. 
  Characteristic 
  Rolls 
   
  Averages
  INT 
   
  2d6 to 4d6 
  7 to 14
  POW 
   
  4d6 to 5d6 
  14 to 17–18
  Weapons: Tentacles, spines, tongues, fangs, radiation or 
  geometrical manipulations 60%, damage 1d8.
  Sanity Loss: 1/1d8 on average.
  Spells: Level Three entities may have their own ability to 
  cast spells.
  Common Powers
  •	
  Possess multiple humans, who are likely to be 
  psychically shattered by the experience.
  •	
  Warp reality in noticeable ways.
  •	
  Intercede with higher entities.
  •	
  Permanently alter a human in some fashion.
  •	
  Perform sorcery.
  Faeries
  Just as we can summon them, sometimes, they can make 
  their way through to us. There are congruencies and thin 
  places where it is possible for an extra-dimensional horror 
  to seep through into our universe. Once in our reality, the 
  strangers need a summoning grid and a native sorcerer to 
  hold them in place. The modern sorcerer would use an 
  electrical circuit and a microprocessor but, when you are 
  an alien horror from another universe with mind-warping 
  powers, you can get creative.
  How about, say, a circle of mushrooms and a young child 
  with a suitably pliant brain? This is the root of the old 
  stories about elves in the woods, abducting kids and dancing 
  around magic circles – the stolen child is reformatted into a 
  living geomantic engine, so the strangers can hang around. 
  To avoid pesky locals poking into their affairs, the extra-
  dimensional visitors stick a glamour on a construct and 
  convince everyone that the kid is still safe and well… until 
  the glamour wears off and the construct is revealed as being 
  a bundle of twigs.
  Once secure, faeries typically set up a pocket dimension as a 
  home base and as a secure prison for the stolen child. Time 
  flows more slowly inside these pockets, so one effectively-
  immortal kidnap victim can hold the faeries in our reality 
  for hundreds of years.
  You do not get many faerie infestations any more – their 
  reliance on using bio-thaumaturgy is their downfall. 
  Turning a grassy knoll into a summoning grid by altering the 
  chemistry of the grass is all well and good, but the amount 
  of power you can shove through a lawn is very limited and 
  these days there are few grassy knolls in England that are not 
  blanketed by radio waves and mobile phone networks and 
  wifi, all of which disrupt the delicate energy fields. (Even 
  a simple magnet is enough to scramble a bio-thaumaturgic 
  summoning grid of this sort; cold iron really does banish 
  faeries if you hit them in the right place.)
  Although they have mostly stopped stealing kids and 
  turning topiary into thaumaturgy, faerie entities are still one 
  of the more common demonic manifestations. Their flesh-
  warping abilities make them prime research candidates for 
  pharmaceutical and genetics firms. Faeries look like pale, 
  drawn-out humanoids in their natural form, but they are 
  adept at using glamours. 
  A PACk Of ZOMBIES
  Just in case you need statistics for an awful lot of 
  zombies in a hurry…
  STR CON SIZ 
  DEX POW HP 
  Damage  
   
   
   
   
   
   
  Bonus
  #1 
  15 
  13 
  13 
  9 
  1 
  13 +1d4
  #2 
  14 
  15 
  11 
  8 
  1 
  13 +0
  #3 
  15 
  13 
  14 
  5 
  1 
  14 +1d4
  #4 
  15 
  19 
  18 
  3 
  1 
  19 +1d6
  #5 
  19 
  13 
  13 
  11 
  1 
  13 +1d4
  #6 
  13 
  16 
  13 
  4 
  1 
  15 +1d4
  #7 
  18 
  15 
  11 
  8 
  1 
  13 +1d4
  #8 
  21 
  16 
  14 
  4 
  1 
  15 +1d6
  #9 
  16 
  15 
  16 
  6 
  1 
  16 +1d4
  #10 
  15 
  9 
  9 
  4 
  1 
  9 +0
  
  205
  19  arChIveS
  FAERIES, Strange Weavers
  Characteristic 
  Rolls 
   
  Averages
  STR 
   
  3d6 
   
  10–11 
  CON 
   
  3d6 
   
  10–11
  SIZ 
   
  2d6+6  
  13
  INT 
   
  4d6 
   
  14
  POW 
   
  3d6 
   
  10–11
  DEX 
   
  3d6+3  
  13–14
  Move: 9  
  HP: 10
  Average Damage Bonus: None
  Weapons: Bone Sword 60%, damage 1d8
  Armour: None, but faeries are immune to most damage. 
  Ferrous weapons, electromagnetic fields and spells do 
  normal damage. 
  Skills: Occult 75%, Medicine 90%
  Spells: Faeries can cast up to Level Four glamours and 
  geases.  
  Sanity Loss: None.
  Succubus
  A nasty little breed demon, succubi are second-grade 
  possessors (capable of shunting the host personality aside 
  temporarily instead of permanently frying it). Their modus 
  operandi is to hop into a host and compel it to have sex. 
  At the moment of orgasm, the succubus hops from one 
  partner to the other. The previous host is drained of all life 
  to feed the demon. A simple geas can be used to keep the 
  demon from hopping, keeping the original host alive, but 
  that does mean that every time you take a roll in the hay, you 
  will be digging a grave afterwards.
  To make it easier for the host to find prey, the succubus 
  grants not inconsiderable telepathic abilities. Make physical 
  contact with a suitable mate and the succubus dumps 
  psychic flashes of the other mind into your own. Most of 
  these are images of how best to seduce the other – we hope 
  you enjoy having someone else’s sexual quirks and psychic 
  effluvia flooding your brain – but an experienced succubus-
  host can sort through these images and extract actual useful 
  information.
  Experienced succubus-host? Yeah – it is possible to stick a 
  geas on a succubus demon that compels it not to jump from 
  host-to-host after sex, so one host gets the benefit of the 
  succubi’s telepathy and the sex drive from hell. Unless you 
  feed the demon every day or so and that is not a metaphor, 
  the succubus turns on you, even through the geas and 
  devours your mind. That has not stopped a lot of ambitious 
  sorcerers from willingly taking on the succubus.
  Level Four Entities
  Invocation of a Level Four entity is permissible when 
  necessary, but these are very much the ‘big guns’ of 
  computational demonology. It is possible to contain such 
  entities in a binding circle and even compel them with geas, 
  but the slightest flaw in the containment results in Very, 
  Very Bad Things. 
  LEVEL FOUR ENTITY, Higher Forms
  Characteristic 
  Rolls 
   
  Averages
  INT 
   
  1d6 to 6d6 
  3–4 to 21
  POW 
   
  2d6 to 6d6 
  7 to 21
  Weapons: Powers beyond your comprehension 90%, 
  damage 2d6.
  Sanity Loss: 1d6/1d20 or more.
  Spells: Level Four Entities usually know dozens of spells.
  Common Powers
  •	
  Open mass transfer gates.
  •	
  Alter fundamental constants of the universe on a 
  local scale.
  •	
  Possess multiple millions of bodies simultaneously.
  •	
  Eat New York.
  Umr Attawil (Staircase Dweller, The 
  Prolonged Of  Life)
  The Umr at’Tawil manifestation is an intrusion from a 
  higher dimension; we perceive only a cross-section of 
  the entity from any given point in space-time. The most 
  common perception of it, according to various mystical 
  revelations and confirmed by a Katz-Verner projection 
  using the Large Electron-Positron Collider in 1992, is as a 
  grey-cloaked figure seated on an almost hexagonal pedestal, 
  but it is hoped that the Large Hadron Collider summoning 
  grid will permit investigations into even higher forms of 
  Umr at’Tawil.
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  206
  Umr at’Tawil is a panopticon, capable of perceiving all of 
  our space-time simultaneously. Attempts to interrogate 
  it about future events have proven less than successful; 
  whenever Umr at’Tawil deigns to respond, its answers are 
  cryptic, contradictory or incomprehensible. It communicates 
  primarily in a complex mathematical form derived from 
  Enochian (or, more accurately, Enochian is derived from the 
  Tongue of Umr at’Tawil), and efforts are ongoing to develop 
  a metagrammar parser that can decode its messages faster 
  than 2O(c to the n). Despite the difficulty of communication, the 
  entity is relatively benign, offering magical knowledge to the 
  worthy. The unworthy are destroyed by contact with Umr 
  at’Tawil. Determining who the entity considers ‘worthy’ is 
  another ongoing problem; there is evidence to suggest that 
  Umr at’Tawil recognises lower-dimensional aspects of itself 
  and that certain individuals are themselves cross-sections 
  of the being. It may be possible to invoke STAIRCASE 
  DWELLER more simply by rotating suitable volunteers 
  through a Gilman tesseract. (Counselling is available for 
  those troubled by the revelation that they are but aspects of 
  an alien ultrasphere.) 
  Level Five Entities
  Level Five (‘weakly godlike’) entities are extremely powerful 
  and dangerous. As a class, they are capable of altering 
  fundamental constants of our universe – a full invocation 
  of Azathoth, for example, could change the strong nuclear 
  force and snuff out every star. Deliberate summoning of 
  Level Five entities is banned by the international god-ban 
  treaty, although partial invocation of such beings (through 
  information-transfer 
  gates, 
  intermediaries 
  or 
  lesser 
  manifestations) is permitted for research purposes.
  autonomes
  Autonomes are natives of this continuum, which means 
  they are composed of something like terrestrial matter 
  and cannot be banished by an inverse Dho-Na curve or 
  by disrupting the summoning spell that called them here. 
  They are physically here, which can be really unfortunate for 
  those in close proximity.
  That does mean, of course, that bullets might actually work 
  on them.
  If you squeeze the Earth’s 4.5 billion years of history into a 
  single 24-hour period, then single-celled organisms turn up 
  around four in the morning. They hang around the place for 
  sixteen hours until the first plants arrive. Trilobytes swim 
  through the warm seas at nine pm; the forests sprout at 
  ten in the evening, and dinosaurs make their appearance 
  at eleven at night. Humanity evolved between 23.58 and 
  midnight. You can cram all of human history into a few 
  seconds of that long day. In geological time, we’re shorter 
  than a sneeze. We are only the most recent tenants of this 
  planet, and others were here first.
  In that long day, we think the first BLUE HADES precede 
  us by only five minutes (or fifteen million years). The Deep 
  Ones and the ghouls are our cousins, descendants of the 
  same line that goes back to those Hadean prokaryotes. 
  By contrast, DEEP SEVEN showed up hours ago, and 
  are believed to be products of a wholly parallel line of 
  evolution. They are a wholly other form of life – but still 
  composed of terrestrial matter.
  Other autonomes are native to this universe, but not to 
  this world. They crossed the gulf between the stars using 
  shortcuts through higher dimensions or by travelling for 
  thousands of years (a brief time to an immortal). Hundreds 
  of prehuman civilisations could have held sway over Earth 
  before us, but left no trace for us to find.
  Almost as if they had been wiped out.
  
  207
  19  arChIveS
  The archives 
  Chapter nineteen
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  In Action
  BLUE HADES 
  (Deep Ones)
  The BLUE HADES civilisation is several million years older than humans. They are – or, to be 
  more precise, the observed members of their civilisation are – aquatic humanoids, resembling 
  shambling frogs. BLUE HADES (traditionally known as Deep Ones) claim the oceans as their 
  domain and they are supremely well adapted for this environment. They can breathe at any 
  depth, and are apparently immune to the ill effects of pressure and cold. Their scaly skin gives 
  them limited protection against conventional weapons, although living at the bottom of the ocean 
  makes the use of such weapons against BLUE HADES improbable at best. On the surface, they 
  are more vulnerable and there have been incidents where humans have inflicted casualties on 
  BLUE HADES shore parties.
  Biology
  The classification BLUE HADES covers multiple related species of creature. Some are known to 
  be cross-breeds or engineered constructs; there are likely other forms of BLUE HADES in the 
  deep ocean. Given their mastery of creating new life forms for particular tasks, it is possible that 
  all BLUE HADES encountered up until now are servitor creatures and we have yet to encounter 
  the true form of the species.
  Type I BLUE HADES (‘Deep Ones’) are amphibious humanoids, standing approximately 1.5 
  metres tall. They have bulbous yellow eyes with nictitating membranes, webbed hands and feet 
  and stubby but powerful tails. Their gills are located on the neck and are easily visible (and quite 
  vulnerable to precision attacks). Despite possessing advanced technology, many BLUE HADES 
  attacks have involved the use of claws and teeth. Internal organs include two respiratory systems, 
  a circulatory system that appears to use capillary action instead of a pump, a highly adaptive 
  digestive system and several unidentified organs. Their closest living relative is the crocodile. 
  They can speak, but their vocalisations are intended for use underwater. A few BLUE HADES 
  know English but most produce only untranslatable whoops and bellows. Diplomatic relations are 
  carried out through Type II or III interpreters.
  Type I BLUE HADES are capable of mating with humans. Only a subset of the Type I’s have 
  appropriate genitalia (either their anatomy alters in response to some biochemical signal or they 
  are capable of producing and grafting suitable implants). In several places around the world, BLUE 
  HADES made contact with isolated coastal communities and coerced or persuaded them into 
  mating with the sea-creatures to produce Type II (‘Hybrid’) creatures. It was previously theorised 
  that BLUE HADES share a common ancestor with humanity, due to their ability to crossbreed 
  with our species (see INNSMOUTH, WITCHES’ HOLE and HADES EXPEDITION); subsequent 
  analysis of BLUE HADES samples and genetic material has disproved this theory. BLUE HADES’ 
  ancestors diverged from our own approximately 200 million years ago. 
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  Type II BLUE HADES or Hybrids are the offspring of a Type I and a normal human (or two hybrids 
  or a human and a hybrid – the BLUE HADES genetics are dominant, but can lie dormant until 
  activated). Hybrids appear comparatively normal in early life but, if the BLUE HADES genes are 
  activated, the hybrid becomes more and more like a Type I until it undergoes a metamorphosis 
  into an aquatic being. Typical hybrids are bald, with pale or scaly skin and bulging eyes, similar 
  to an advanced case of Grave’s Disease. The precise activating conditions for BLUE HADES 
  transformation are unknown, but common triggers for transformation include:
  •	
  Long-term residence in a coastal location.
  •	
  Drowning or extreme stress in close proximity to water.
  •	
  Exposure to thaumic fields.
  •	
  Exposure to BLUE HADES individuals or artefacts.
  Type III BLUE HADES are silvery humanoids, with a physiology similar to Type Is but with much 
  more human proportions. Type III BLUE HADES are fully amphibious, unlike Type IIs who have 
  only a limited aquatic reach and Type Is who prefer to remain in the deep ocean. Type IIIs were 
  created as ambassadors and interpreters for use during the second and subsequent Benthic 
  Treaty negotiations.
  Employee Note: If you test positive for BLUE HADES residual genetic code during a standard 
  medical evaluation, consult with Human Resources. Activation of BLUE HADES genetics can be 
  controlled with medication and simple precautions.
  The BLUE HADES’ reasons for creating Type II crossbreeds is unknown, but the widespread 
  nature of the phenomenon suggests it is of great importance to their civilisation. Theories include:
  •	
  The Benkett Hypothesis: BLUE HADES are biologically long-lived, perhaps even 
  immortal. They therefore must reproduce exceedingly slowly to avoid over-expansion. 
  The few hybrids produced every year are the only offspring produced in the entire BLUE 
  HADES civilisation. Critics of this theory argue that BLUE HADES predates humanity’s 
  evolution by millions of years; how did the species reproduce before that? The appearance 
  of Type III creatures also suggests that BLUE HADES are capable of reproducing without 
  human incubators. 
  •	
  The Crick-Omstead Hypothesis: BLUE HADES are engaged in a long-term genetic 
  engineering process. The ‘taint’ remains dormant in all carriers; some estimates suggest 
  that up to 40% of the population are carriers for BLUE HADES genetic material. This 
  project might be intended to merge homo sapiens into BLUE HADES or to avert CASE 
  NIGHTMARE GREEN or some other cosmological threat. The Benthic Treaty forbids 
  using humans as test subjects.
  •	
  The Allen Hypothesis: The primary purpose of the BLUE HADES interactions with 
  coastal communities is to gather intelligence about events on the surface. The Type IIs 
  are effectively spies for the undersea civilisation; when the change brings them into the 
  oceans, they carry the information they have learned down with them.
  Culture 
  Most of what is known about BLUE HADES culture comes from the few interactions involving 
  coastal communities and the Deep Ones; these accounts are necessarily coloured by the beliefs 
  of either the BLUE HADES hybrids or, more commonly, the beliefs of neighbouring communities 
  who feared and mistrusted the hybrids. BLUE HADES worship or serve ancestor-deities called 
  Dagon and Hydra (who may be elder Deep Ones). In several cases, adopting Dagon worship was 
  part of the bargain struck by BLUE HADES with coastal communities (see also BABYLON FILE).
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  BLUE HADES are urbanised, with most of their population living in cities on the ocean floor. Most 
  of these cities are on the abyssal plains but there are smaller settlements in shallower waters. 
  These shallow-water settlements are usually close to hybridised communities (cf Innsmouth in 
  Massachusetts and DEVIL’S REEF, Dunwich and DANTE EAST). Whether the BLUE HADES 
  settlements were built to monitor the surface operations or if the Deep Ones simply made contact 
  with the closest humans to their settlements is a mystery.
  Technology
  Without the ability to use fire and work metals, BLUE HADES have followed a radically different 
  technology path to that of humanity. They use servitor creatures (including shoggoths) instead of 
  vehicles and much of their technology involves biological engineering, sorcery or psychic effects. 
  They also manipulate condensed matter states using abstruse physics; one side effect of this 
  technology is high levels of neutrino emissions, which have allowed us to partially map BLUE 
  HADES colonies. 
  BLUE HADES’ offensive capabilities against the surface are surprisingly extensive. In previous 
  encounters, they have demonstrated the ability to sink ships by creating bubbles of methane 
  underneath the keel, removing the vessel’s buoyancy. A larger methane release could massively 
  accelerate climate change, rendering the surface virtually uninhabitable within a comparatively 
  short time (clathrate gun hypothesis). They are also capable of producing earthquakes and 
  tsunami on demand. Their use of biological agents suggests a capacity of biowarfare beyond 
  our capacity to contain. Furthermore, BLUE HADES is virtually immune to counter-attack – we 
  currently have no effective weapons that could target their cities, as even a nuclear depth charge 
  would be severely limited by the pressure at the ocean floor.  
  Artist’s impression of BLUE HADES coming ashore
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  Diplomatic Relations
  Up until 1957, encounters with BLUE HADES were extremely limited and usually hostile. During 
  the 20th Century, the advent of mass communication and transport made it harder for isolated 
  coastal communities to conceal BLUE HADES presence. After several incidents (Dunwich, 
  England in 1889, Innsmouth, MA in 1927/8, Port Pegasus, New Zealand in 1938) where human 
  authorities intervened to prevent further contact and multiple retaliatory strikes by BLUE HADES 
  (Witches’ Hole, Bermuda Triangle), the decision was taken in 1943 to attempt peaceful contact 
  with the sea-dwellers. Using formulae derived from Order of Dagon scriptures and the Chain Home 
  Low radio stations at RAF Dunwich, SOE managed to call up BLUE HADES emissaries. Initially, 
  BLUE HADES assumed that SOE desired the standard bargain (gold and eventual immortality in 
  exchange for mating rights), but diplomacy prevailed. In retrospect, it is likely that the discovery of 
  the Turing Theorem proved a decisive factor – now that humanity had the capacity to accidentally 
  wipe out all life on Earth, the BLUE HADES civilisation had to take notice of us.
  The BenThic TreaTy for Bluffers!
  article 1: Both species have the right to exist on Earth.
  article 2: Everyone agrees to abide by the terms of this treaty. The treaty can be revised by 
  subsequent agreements and both sides agree to attend future meetings. 
  article 3: Remedies and punishments for treaty violations, which can be summarised as ‘we 
  reserve the right to sink your country’.
  article 4: Sets the limits of both sides; humanity is limited to one kilometre below mean sea 
  level and the Deep Ones agree not to encroach upon the land, unless they feel like it. Humanity 
  is not to bother the Deep Ones; the Deep Ones will consider not swatting our civilisation on a 
  whim. 
  article 5: The Deep Ones agree not to take our women without permission; establishes 
  communications protocols for interactions outside the scope of the treaty and ensures that 
  Type II hybrids are permitted to exist.
  article 6: Both sides agree not to summon Azathoth or any other cosmic horror that might 
  eat the planet without written notification. 
  article 7: Do not mess with anything in Appendix Two. It is mostly a list of sites on the ocean 
  floor and Antarctica where Thou Shalt Not Go but also includes several incantations and gate 
  destinations.  
  article 8: Gives the Deep Ones observer status at the UN (they do not use it) and a legal 
  standing in international affairs – but the existence of an alien hyper-civilisation is to be kept 
  secret as much as possible. 
  appendix one: Legal and linguistic definitions for both sides, plus the binding geasa.
  appendix Two: The list of things humanity is not meant to meddle with, in case we blow up 
  the planet. 
  appendix Three: More legal stuff that the Deep Ones could not be bothered reading, so it is 
  stuffed into this appendix and ignored by everyone except lawyers. The relevant bits cover 
  relations between Helsinki signatories. 
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  This initial hesitant contact was followed in 1953 with the Benthic Treaty of the Azores. There 
  is a large BLUE HADES colony close to the Azores and emissaries from that colony met with 
  representatives of the British Government about HMS Eagle. From this meeting, the groundwork 
  for a treaty between our two species was established. Both sides agreed to meet again six months 
  later. During this intervening period, the British government contacted NATO allies and briefed 
  them on AZORIAN BLUE HADES. After the second meeting (which was attended by the first Type 
  III BLUE HADES), this briefing was extended to all signatories of the Helsinki Protocol including 
  the USSR and its satellites and a draft treaty was circulated to all parties.
  The Benthic Treaty (also known as the Agreement of the Azores) was signed in October of 1954. The 
  treaty covers relations between the Deep Ones and humanity, outlines their respective spheres of 
  influence and establishes limits on the actions of both sides. The penalties for breaking the treaty 
  are severe; they are enforced by geasa on the signatories. (This actually penalises the immortal 
  BLUE HADES signatories more than the human ones, as an individual human representative 
  may be long dead before his side breaks the treaty; this is balanced by the BLUE HADES policy 
  of answering treaty violations with extreme force.) The treaty has also become the cornerstone 
  of post-Helsinki occult diplomacy in the developed world. As no human power wishes to anger 
  the Deep Ones, the Benthic Treaty is the ultimate court of appeal. Subsequent additions to the 
  treaty define communications channels between the various human occult intelligence agencies, 
  allowing them to observe each other and ensure the Benthic Treaty is not being violated.
  So far, the Benthic Treaty has survived four revisions; the next summit meeting is in 2013, by 
  which time we will be well into CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN and it may all be academic anyway.1
  1  
  Certain paranoids have suggested that the whole Benthic Treaty is a huge bluff on the part of 
  BLUE HADES and that when the Stars Come Right, the Deep Ones will side with their squid-like masters 
  and eat our brains. According to this theory, Articles 6 and 7 are a nefarious scheme to retard our devel-
  opment of the occult weapons that might stop the cosmic horrors. Supporting evidence for this: pretty 
  much none, although the regular late night poker games in the Azores do show that Deep Ones are really 
  good at bluffing.
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  Knowledge Management 
  In Action
  DEEP SEVEN 
  (Cthonians)
  DEEP SEVEN are a polymorphous species believed to infest the upper mantle of this planet. 
  They are capable of burrowing through rock at high speeds. If their range includes the full mantle, 
  then their living space is hundreds of times greater than that of either BLUE HADES or humanity, 
  suggesting that they are the dominant species on our planet. They are telepathic, but attempts to 
  observe or contact them have invariably failed – at best, seers have reported momentary touches 
  with ‘vast minds far below’, usually followed by insanity and death. 
  Biology
  No live DEEP SEVEN specimen has ever been examined; the following is a combination of 
  analysis of the few samples recovered from deep mines and theorising based on eyewitness 
  accounts and occult literature. DEEP SEVEN average 10 metres in length and resemble mottled, 
  segmented grey worms with a protruding braincase and a large number of tentacles. These 
  tentacles can ‘melt rock like butter’ (suggesting a temperature of at least 1,400º K), but accounts 
  claim that the creatures are capable of solidifying the molten stone almost instantly (suggesting 
  the ability to shunt energy into another dimension or use of some form of laser-mediated Sisyphus 
  cooling). The high temperatures of the mantle strongly suggest that DEEP SEVEN uses silicon 
  instead of carbon as the primary building block of its biology.
  DEEP SEVEN secrete an immiscible silica-heavy gel with traces of rhodium, iridium and several 
  unknown components. This gel is a lubricant, allowing the creatures to slide down the tunnels 
  carved by their super-heated tentacles, but it may also protect DEEP SEVEN from water. 
  Traditional accounts insist that water is dangerous to DEEP SEVEN specimens. It is possible that 
  at low temperatures (below 1800º K), the silicon dioxide produced by respiration becomes solid 
  and cannot be easily excreted, causing the DEEP SEVEN to asphyxiate. Vitrified DEEP SEVEN 
  remains have been found; this is possibly a defence mechanism triggered by the loss of the 
  protective gel and the subsequent drop in temperature. 
  Culture
  Other than fleeting telepathic contact, almost nothing is known about DEEP SEVEN culture. 
  Certain sources (primarily STONE GUIDE) imply a connection between DEEP SEVEN and sites 
  in Central Africa. 
  
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  Technology
  While DEEP SEVEN rarely come beyond the Mohorovičić discontinuity, several examples 
  of vitrified tunnels have been found. These nests contain items which may be DEEP SEVEN 
  artefacts, including thaumically active crystal spheres. DEEP SEVEN use of devices resembling 
  exoskeletons or armoured suits has also been confirmed; these suits are possibly intended to 
  protect the creature against the frozen conditions on the surface. 
  DEEP SEVEN psionic technology is tremendously advanced and highly dangerous; all mental 
  contact results in a rapid demyelisation of the entire central nervous system. All employees should 
  wear suitable protective gear (Class Three Ward and APV talisman) or use remote operation 
  when dealing with DEEP SEVEN artefacts. 
  Diplomatic Relations
  None (see CASE BROCCOLI GOLDENEYE). As part of information transfer associated with the 
  Benthic Treaty, all signatories learned of the existence of DEEP SEVEN. Both the US and USSR 
  attempted to make contact with the DEEP SEVEN civilisation (see MOHOLE SPEAKER and 
  KOLA INTRUSION); neither attempt was successful. The Japanese Chikyu Hakken deep sea 
  drilling vessel may be cover for a joint US/Japanese contact mission.
  DEEP SEVEN activity?
  
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  Knowledge Management 
  In Action
  PLUTO KOBOLD 
  (Mi-Go, The Fungi From Yoggoth)
  Note: The information in this dossier is derived primarily from Black Chamber sources, acquired 
  as part of operation GOBLIN HEDGE. As such, it is possible that some or all of this information 
  consists of deliberate misinformation and/or speculation. Officers are advised not to rely on 
  PLUTO KOBOLD files
  * * *
  PLUTO KOBOLD are a spacefaring race, believed to be extra-galactic in origin. They resemble 
  winged sea-spiders and communicate among themselves by rapidly shifting the colours of their 
  spongiform heads. According to sources, PLUTO KOBOLD have a colony on the dwarf planet of 
  Pluto, at the edge of our solar system and are known to regularly visit Earth for various purposes, 
  primarily resource extraction.
  Biology
  PLUTO KOBOLD’s physiology incorporates exotic matter, making investigations difficult. A dead 
  PLUTO KOBOLD dissolves and sublimes into long-chain hydrocarbon molecules and ammonia 
  within an hour of death; live PLUTO KOBOLDs are unlikely to co-operate. The creatures cannot 
  be photographed using either chemical plates or digital imaging. A conscious mind is required to 
  perceive PLUTO KOBOLD, suggesting some sort of observer effect. 
  Different PLUTO KOBOLDs configurations have been observed; coupled with the race’s known 
  mastery of surgical techniques, it is likely that they modify themselves as needed for particular 
  tasks. For example, there are recordings of PLUTO KOBOLD speech that sounds remarkably 
  human, suggesting the speaker had a human-like larynx and vocal cords implanted to better 
  communicate with human agents. 
  The creatures traverse space using wing membranes that somehow create a gravitational gradient 
  as they move – similar phenomena have been observed with the more tractable FESTIVAL 
  GUESTS. Their flight has been described as clumsy in the past and while they may be able to flit 
  between Pluto and Earth within a reasonable time, PLUTO KOBOLD must use space-folding or 
  gates to effect transport between different solar systems. 
  Although they are not autonomies (residents of this continuum), PLUTO KOBOLD cannot be 
  banished easily but are nonetheless extremely resistant to conventional weapons. In tests, 
  PLUTO KOBOLD were able to withstand automatic weapons fire without significant damage, 
  although they were disorientated and alarmed by the assault. Theoretically, rounds charged with 
  banishing spells should be ideal for use against PLUTO KOBOLD threats.
  
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  Culture
  Accounts of PLUTO KOBOLD culture are contradictory. The longest account (Wilmarth) describes 
  PLUTO KOBOLD as being part of a cosmopolitan and peaceful assembly of alien races, eager 
  to deal with enlightened individuals. This account also mentions the aliens worshipping various 
  unpleasant higher-dimensional entities. Other sources claim that the PLUTO KOBOLD are hostile 
  to some or all godlike entities or that they have a special interest in humanity. The differences 
  between accounts is so marked as to suggest a deliberate disinformation campaign or that PLUTO 
  KOBOLD is heavily factionalised and different groups have radically different agendas.
  PLUTO KOBOLD activity on Earth is usually associated with areas high above sea level; they have 
  been encountered in the Himalayas, the upper Rockies and in Chile. The Wilmarth account insists 
  PLUTO KOBOLD are mining a rare stone on Earth (if true, one likely candidate is herbertsmithite). 
  Technology
  Several PLUTO KOBOLD items have been recovered and analysed. Some are relatively 
  conventional in design, such as the ‘brain cases’ (portable life-support systems capable of 
  sustaining a disembodied human brain indefinitely) and ‘body armour’ (a spiny symbiote that 
  secretes 
  a 
  non-Newtonian 
  fluid). 
  PLUTO 
  KOBOLD’s 
  understanding of surgery and 
  biochemistry is hundreds of 
  years ahead of ours but still 
  recognisable. 
  Other 
  PLUTO 
  KOBOLD devices rely on exotic 
  matter and sorcery, and bear 
  no resemblance whatsoever 
  to known physics. The radical 
  difference 
  between 
  different 
  PLUTO 
  KOBOLD 
  devices 
  lends credence to the ‘multiple 
  different sects’ theory, but it may 
  simply be that they are highly 
  adaptive creatures who invent 
  whole new fields of technology 
  as they enter regions with 
  differing physical laws.
    
  Diplomatic Relations
  The British government has no 
  contact with PLUTO KOBOLD. 
  It is believed that the Black 
  Chamber 
  has 
  successfully 
  opened relations with PLUTO 
  KOBOLD, 
  although 
  the 
  abandonment of Pluto Kuiper 
  Express and the subsequent 
  announcement of New Horizons 
  by NASA suggest high-level 
  interplanetary sabre rattling. 
  PLUTO KOBOLD ‘Brain case’
  
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  Knowledge Management 
  In Action
  ANNING BLUE SKULL
  (Elder Things)
  The ANNING BLUE SKULL civilisation existed in what is now Antarctica for many millions of 
  years. Remnants of this civilisation were discovered by the Starkweather-Moore Expedition of 
  1931 (subsequently classified by the US Government and released to the Laundry in 1942). 
  According to archaeological records, the ANNING BLUE SKULL creatures arrived on Earth 
  sometime during the proterozoic era and established bases across the planet. Their civilisation 
  slowly declined over time, as did their physical and mental capacity. They lost their space-faring 
  capacity and may have also become entangled in wars with other alien species on Earth. During 
  this time, they created several servitor species, notably ANNING BLACK, which rebelled at the 
  end of the Silurian period (approximately 250 million years ago). The ANNING BLUE SKULL 
  civilisation continued to decline and was now under siege from its own creations. Eventually, they 
  abandoned their land cities and vanished, possibly into degeneration and extinction. 
  Following the release of the Starkweather-Moore files, Operation Tabarin was launched by the 
  Laundry to seize control of key ANNING BLUE SKULL sites, leapfrogging the US’s later Operation 
  Highjump and the subsequent ‘Old One rush’ of the 60s. 
  Biology
  Relatively intact ANNING BLUE SKULL samples have been found, giving a wealth of information 
  about the extinct species. ANNING BLUE SKULL resemble sea cucumbers, with multiple long 
  bifurcated manipulator arms at the base of the barrel-shaped body. Membranous vestigial wings 
  can extend from the core of the creature, but are normally kept folded into ridges. The creature’s 
  head is star-shaped with multiple eyes and mouths. ANNING BLUE SKULL were equally at home 
  on land or sea and were capable of surviving extremes of stress and temperature. The lifespan of 
  individual ANNING BLUE SKULL creatures is unknown, but they are capable of extended periods 
  of hibernation. It is not beyond the bounds of possibility that there are a few survivors still alive 
  on Earth.
  Although no intact samples have been found, it is theorised that the manipulator arms bifurcate 
  many times in a fractal pattern, which would have allowed ANNING BLUE SKULL to move 
  nanoscale objects directly like Moravec’s hypothetical ‘bush robots’. The highly complex five-
  lobed brain and sensitive nervous system found in autopsies would support this theory.
  
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  Culture
  ANNING BLUE SKULL appeared to have a social structure close to that of most human societies; 
  they had clear social specialisations, a system of trade between city-states and so on, but making 
  generalisations about a culture that lasted hundreds of thousands of times longer than our own 
  is obviously futile. One can only turn to the words of William Dyer in the Starkweather-Moore file: 
  ‘They were the men of another age and another order of being. Nature had played a hellish jest on 
  them – as it will on any others that human madness, callousness or cruelty may hereafter dig up 
  in that hideously dead or sleeping polar waste – and this was their tragic homecoming. Radiates, 
  vegetables, monstrosities, star spawn – whatever they had been, they were men!’
  Technology
  ANNING BLUE SKULL primarily used biological engineering, creating new life forms as needed. 
  It is possible that the evolution of life on Earth was profoundly altered or even began with their 
  experiments. While they certainly mastered sorcery, there appear to have been cultural taboos 
  against extensive use of it; no evidence has been found of any Class Four or higher magics in any 
  of the Antarctic sites so far. The investigation and utilisation of ANNING BLUE SKULL technology 
  has only just begun in earnest, however, and there are high hopes that more potent spells or 
  weapons may have survived. The cartouches from the ANNING BLUE SKULL cities suggest that 
  they held their own against PLUTO KOBOLD and other alien powers; we can only hope to do so 
  well.
  Archive photograph: Operation Tabarin
  
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  Diplomatic Relations
  Without a GRAVEDUST rig capable of calling up the dead of 1.58 x1015 seconds, official relations 
  with an extinct civilisation are rather pointless. That said the ANNING BLUE SKULL civilisation is 
  at the centre of occult diplomacy, as multiple nations compete for their relics. The secret codicil to 
  the Antarctic Treaty permits limited exploitation of ANNING BLUE SKULL sites, under oversight 
  by a committee of signatory nations.  
  ANNING BLACK (Shoggoths)
  The most infamous creation of the ANNING BLUE SKULL civilisation is the life form referred to 
  as ANNING BLACK by the Laundry, but more commonly referred to by the name used in the 
  Necronomicon – Shoggoths. These are semi-cohesive globules of an organic plasma that is 
  capable of reshaping itself into whatever tissue or organ is required; the creatures can become 
  whatever they need to be. Since the fall of the ANNING BLUE SKULL, the shoggoths have been 
  mostly dormant. A few servitors, perhaps locked in patrol mode, were encountered in Antarctica; 
  more are believed to be active on the ocean floor. Given the incredible adaptability and toughness 
  of the creatures, they could be anywhere on Earth. 
  Without an operator to issue new commands, shoggothim should remain dormant or keep 
  performing their existing assigned tasks. ANNING BLUE SKULL relics suggest strongly that 
  the shoggoth operating system is based on a relatively simple Enochian metagrammar and 
  the difficulty of issuing new commands is solely a physical one (how to upload a new program 
  to a computer that just grew tentacles and intends to bite your head off). Notably, shoggoth 
  reproduction is a function of programming and available resources, nothing more, implying that a 
  shoggoth ordered to reproduce would rapidly consume all bio matter on Earth in a ‘grey goo’-type 
  catastrophe. 
  ANNING BLACK entities are to be considered extremely dangerous.
  
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  GHOULS
  (Homo Sapiens Necrosis)
  Ghouls are humans suffering from a rare medical condition, one that alters their physiology so 
  dramatically that they are classified as a wholly different species, homo sapiens necrosis. The 
  earliest incidents of ghoulism predates human civilisation. Ghoulism is closely associated with 
  cannibalism and the decline in the practise has similarly lead to a decline in ghoulism. The oldest 
  ghoul colonies are in the Middle East, especially Egypt and the Fertile Crescent. The term ‘ghoul’ 
  is derived from the Arabic ghul, a monster who ate the dead. 
  During recorded history, ghoulism is often confused with leprosy and other diseases; many 
  medieval accounts of lepers actually refer to ghoulism victims. During the 13th to 16th Centuries, 
  there was a major ghoulism outbreak in Europe, triggered either by plagues or by the practise of 
  consuming parts of ‘mummies’, which were actually butchered slaves. Ghoulism numbers have 
  decreased since the 17th Century thanks to better nutrition (although De Gries argues in his 1977 
  paper on ghoul population and census methods, Count Des Ghoules, that this apparent drop is 
  due to increased urbanisation giving homo sapiens necrosis tribes more places to hide.)
  Biology
  Ghoulism or Twomey’s Disease was first clinically described by Dr. Charles Dunlea in 1851 in 
  Monaghan, Ireland, when investigating the case of several starving peasants who had resorted to 
  digging up bodies from a mass grave near a workhouse and eating the dead. Dunlea noted that 
  they had ‘become longer of face than before and once-straight limbs have become twisted and 
  gnarled without any loss of mobility or strength. Indeed, they are most prodigiously strong and 
  seem to have obtained more nourishment from the corpses than one might reasonably expect. 
  Despite this sudden bloom of animal vitality, they remain excessively sensitive to light and have 
  lost their wits almost entirely. They are more beasts than men now.’
  Recent work by researchers in DCRI (Direction Centrale de la Sécuritié Extraordinare) shows that 
  ghoulism is a combination of a prion infection coupled with a pre-existing genetic susceptibility, 
  much like Familial Fatal Insomnia or kuru. In most ghoulism cases, the infection begins consuming 
  decaying human flesh that contains a misfolded protein, known as a prion. This prion spreads 
  through the victim, causing other proteins to refold into a similar configuration. In some cases, 
  this causes cell damage and tissue death as the prions accumulate. In cases where the victim 
  has the genetic susceptibility, the accumulation of prions activates a genetic trigger and causes 
  transformation into ghoul form. (There are suspected cases where an individual acquires ghoulism 
  
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  without an obvious route for prion infection; there 
  may be other ways to trigger ghoulism, such as 
  exposure to thaumic fields or other environmental 
  conditions.)
  Ghouls are superficially human, with hairy, 
  rubbery skin and gaunt features. The skin of the 
  face tightens, exposing the teeth and giving a 
  canine cast to the face. Millions of extra rod cells 
  develop in the eye; giving ghoul suffers excellent 
  night vision at the cost of colour perception and 
  increased sensitivity to daylight. The digestive 
  system adapts to a diet of scavenged meat; the 
  immune system is similarly altered. Nails and 
  teeth lengthen and strengthen, becoming claws. 
  Other physiological changes may develop later in 
  the ghoul’s lifespan.
  Most impressively from a medical perspective, the 
  lifespan of the victim is increased tremendously. 
  Due to the calorific limits of the ghoul diet, this 
  may be the same phenomenon as observed 
  in calorie-reduction studies (Anderson, M.; 
  Shanmuganayagam, D.; Weindruch, R, 2009, 
  among others). Accounts of ghouls who are 
  multiple centuries old may be exaggerations, but 
  certainly ghouls tagged during the Bazalgette 
  Expedition of 1866 are still alive today.) 
  While the traditional ghoul diet is decaying human flesh supplemented by vermin and fungi, 
  modern ghouls consume much more food waste than they do human flesh. 
  Culture
  Ghoul culture varies from community-to-community. There are rural ghoul tribes who practise a 
  form of folk worship that is strongly reminiscent of Neolithic beliefs; urban ghoul populations in 
  major cities are considerably more civilised, making use of modern technology in some cases. 
  The transformation in ghoul form significantly alters the personality of the victim; ghouls lose 
  interest in their former lives and embrace a more primitive existence. Observations of ghouls in 
  the wild show they spend much of their time sleeping, hunting or meditating. A few ghouls retain 
  what would be interpreted as intellectual curiosity and conventional intelligence; testing shows 
  that all ghouls are capable of abstract thought, but only utilise this capacity under stress. The 
  DCRI report draws a comparison between ghoulism and some forms of brain damage.
  In most ghoul tribes, the older ghouls are the rulers and have the first pick of any meals. The tribe 
  has a central lair or meeting place but individual ghouls may range up to 50 kilometres or more 
  from the tribe while hunting for dead meat. Ghouls have no capacity for reproduction and no sex 
  drive, but they may form packs of two to a dozen individuals who travel and live together. There 
  are few disputes within the tribe and those that occur are resolved quickly by the elders. Injured 
  ghouls are nursed back to health, but those who are mortally wounded are devoured alive (dying 
  ghouls are apparently willing to be eaten in this fashion). 
  Ghouls often have limited contact with uninfected humans; many ghoul tribes form alliances with 
  ‘surface’ individuals to procure supplies, for protection or for information about recent deaths. 
  Virtually every major city has at least a small ghoul population. As of the last census, the ghoul 
  population of London was estimated at approximately 5,000.
  
  221
  19  arChIveS
  The archives 
  Chapter nineteen
   
  Technology
  Although ghouls retain memories of their former lives, they appear to have no interest in technology 
  of any kind. A ghoul might steal a car or use a gun if the opportunity arose, but would discard this 
  tool when his interest waned instead of using it in the future. While ghouls have demonstrated the 
  ability to adapt technology to their own ends (see GAP BAT) and may even use electric lights or 
  security systems to protect their lairs, they are primarily reactive instead of proactive.
  Elder ghouls have demonstrated an ability to use sorcery, although they are just as prone to 
  K-Syndrome as homo sapiens. 
  Diplomatic Relations
  While the Monster Control Act of 1864 mandated that ghoulism sufferers be placed in asylums or 
  workhouses, the political will or funding to enforce this never materialised. The Burial Act of 1880 
  mandated that all graveyards be watched for ghoul infestations but permitted existing sufferers 
  to remain at large. In many modern cities, ghoul tribes have an official or unofficial understanding 
  with the civic government, police and sewer workers. The 1969 amendment to the Monster Control 
  Act gave ghouls limited protection under the law. 
  The Laundry’s Subterranean Operations Sections has contracts of free passage with all major UK 
  ghoul colonies and can advise further on local ghoul politics and threats.
  
  The Laundry
  222
  Knowledge Management 
  In Action
  GORGONS
  (GAME ANDES REDSHIFT)
  The gorgon phenomenon has been known since antiquity but the underlying physical mechanism 
  was only properly investigated in the early 20th Century by Dr. Ernest Rutherford and his associates. 
  A gorgon is a living being whose gaze turns organic matter into ‘stone’ by transmuting carbon 
  atoms into silicon ions. Any organic material can be affected by the gorgon effect.
  Gorgonism is most common in humans (victims are known as Medusas), but can also occur in 
  any animal, although certain species of snakes, lizards (basilisks) and poultry (cockatrices) are 
  especially susceptible. Under the terms of the Monster Control Act (1864), non-human gorgons 
  must be destroyed immediately. Human gorgons are imprisoned and surgically blinded to ensure 
  public safety, but the aggressive nature of the tumours means that few gorgons survive past six 
  months after initial diagnosis.
  Biology
  Gorgonism stems from a particular configuration of brain tumour, specifically a variant astrocytoma 
  in the cingulate gyrus. As the tumour develops, the victim suffers from headaches, decreased 
  mental facility, temporary blindness and seizures until the first ‘grande morte’ seizure occurs and 
  the condition becomes full-blown gorgonism. The tumour continues to grow, pressing on the 
  corpus callosum. Gorgons are made irritable and easily confused by the pressure of the tumour; 
  death is inevitable without treatment.
  The Medusa’s gaze becomes an observationally mediated quantum tunnelling effect that 
  transmutes a small percentage of carbon atoms into highly electropositive silicon ions. The same 
  neural network is found in the tumours of multiple species and can be replicated electronically 
  (see Technology). As the silicon-hydrogen bond is unstable, the subject of a gorgon gaze may 
  explode or burn after the transmutation.
  Experiments have shown that the effect can be transmitted by reflection and that it can penetrate 
  a thin transparent barrier such as glass or light smoke. Anything sufficient to block observation 
  also prevents the gaze effect; blindfolding a gorgon renders it harmless. 
  
  223
  19  arChIveS
  The archives 
  Chapter nineteen
  Culture
  In all cultures, gorgons are abhorred and ostracised. They have, in rare cases, been used as 
  weapons or worshipped as demigods, but exile from the community or execution is the most likely 
  fate. If gorgonism is detected early, the doomed proto-Medusa can be allowed to commit suicide 
  or killed painlessly. Gorgonism is most common in Southern Europe.
  The condition is not hereditary and there is no known genetic component.
  Technology
  The Medusa effect has been replicated by electronically emulating the pattern of stellate ganglia 
  in the tumour (the so-called ‘map of medua’). When coupled with a binocular video camera, the 
  system perfectly replicates the gorgon gaze effect. This has been weaponised as the hand-held 
  ‘basilisk gun’, as well as integrated into the SCORPION STARE network. 
  It is also possible to force the formation of gorgon-type tumours through a regimen of drugs and 
  surgery. Such experiments were terminated after the 1950s.
  Diplomatic Relations
  Gorgonism has been used as a weapon in the past, but such uses are explicitly banned under the 
  Hague Convention on Unconventional Weapons. The recent development of ‘stoner’ technology 
  is also covered under the same treaty.
  
  The Laundry
  224
  BLUE HADES (Deep Ones)
  (see handout on p207)
  DEEP ONE (Type I)
  Characteristic 
  Rolls 
   
  Averages
  STR 
   
  4d6 
   
  14
  CON 
   
  3d6 
   
  10–11
  SIZ 
   
  3d6+6  
  16–17
  INT 
   
  2d6+6  
  13
  POW 
   
  3d6 
   
  10–11
  DEX 
   
  3d6 
   
  10–11
  Move: 8/10 Swimming 
   
  HP: 13–14
  Average Damage Bonus: +1d4
  Weapons: Claw 25%, damage 1d6+damage bonus
  Hunting Spear 25%, damage 1d6+damage bonus
  Armour: 1-point skin and scales. 
  Sanity Loss: 0/1d6
  DEEP ONE HYBRID (Type II)
  Characteristic 
  Rolls 
   
  Averages
  STR 
   
  3d6+3  
  13–14
  CON 
   
  3d6 
   
  10–11
  SIZ 
   
  2d6+9  
  16
  INT 
   
  2d6+6  
  13
  POW 
   
  3d6 
   
  10–11
  DEX 
   
  2d6 
   
  7
  CHA 
   
  2d6 
   
  7
  Move: 6/8 Swimming 
   
  HP: 13
  Average Damage Bonus: +1d4
  Weapons: Fist/Punch 25%, damage 1d3+damage bonus 
  or by weapon
  Sanity Loss: None
  SEA-BORN (Type III)
  Characteristic 
  Rolls 
   
  Averages
  STR 
   
  3d6 
   
  10–11
  CON 
   
  3d6 
   
  10–11
  SIZ 
   
  2d6+6  
  13
  INT 
   
  2d6+6  
  13
  POW 
   
  3d6 
   
  10–11
  DEX 
   
  4d6 
   
  14
  CHA 
   
  4d6 
   
  14
  Move: 8/10 Swimming 
   
  HP: 11
  Average Damage Bonus: None
  Weapons: Claw 25%, damage 1d4+damage bonus
  Sanity Loss: 0/1
  Deep One Player Characters
  The Laundry has a few employees who are, shall we say, a 
  little more piscine than the average. At the Game Master’s 
  discretion, a Player Character can be a Deep One hybrid, or 
  a sea-born like Ramona Random.
  Hybrids: Roll 3d6+3 for Strength, Size and Constitution 
  and 2d6 for Charisma. Your Dexterity is reduced by 3 when 
  on land. Increase your Swim by 50% and you can breathe 
  underwater for a number of minutes equal to your CON.
  Your starting SAN is calculated by multiplying your POW 
  by four instead of five. Over the course of your lifetime, 
  you will become more inhuman and eventually change into 
  a full Deep One. You lose one CHA every 1d6 years, after 
  exposure to strong thaumic fields or if you go temporarily 
  insane. You become a Deep One if your Charisma is 
  reduced to zero.
  Sea-Born: Roll 3d6+3 for Strength, Constitution, Dexterity 
  and Charisma. Increase your Swim score by 25% and you 
  can breathe underwater indefinitely. 
  Your starting SAN is calculated by multiplying your POW 
  by three instead of five. 
  DEEP SEVEN (Cthonians)
  (see handout on p212)
  CTHONIANS, the Burrowers Beneath
  Characteristic 
  Rolls 
   
  Averages
  STR 
   
  3d6 x5  
  52–53
  CON 
   
  3d6 +30  
  40–41
  SIZ 
   
  3d6 x5  
  52–53
  INT 
   
  5d6 
   
  15–18
  POW 
   
  5d6 
   
  15–18
  DEX 
   
  2d6 
   
  7
  Move: 6/10 Burrowing 
   
  HP: 46–47
  Average Damage Bonus: +5d6
  Weapons: Tentacle 75% damage 3d6 + 1d6 CON drained 
  Crush 80%, damage 5d6+damage bonus
  Armour: 5-point hide, regenerates 5 Hit Points per round 
  when wounded
  Sanity Loss: 1d3/1d20
  PLUTO KOBOLD (Mi-Go, The Fungi 
  From Yuggoth)
  (see handout on p214)
  MI-GO, the Fungi from Yuggoth
  Characteristic 
  Rolls 
   
  Averages
  STR 
   
  3d6  
   
  10–11
  CON 
   
  3d6 
   
  10–11
  SIZ 
   
  3d6 
   
  10–11
  INT 
   
  2d6+6  
  13
  POW 
   
  2d6+6  
  13
  DEX 
   
  4d6 
   
  14
  Move: 7/9 Flying  
   
  HP: 10–11
  Average Damage Bonus: None
  Weapons: Nipper 1D6 + grapple 
  Mi-Go are known to grapple foes and carry them high into 
  the air until their lungs burst or freeze.
  Armour: None, but all impaling weapons do minimum 
  possible damage.
  Sanity Loss: 0/1D6
  
  225
  19  arChIveS
  ANNING BLUE SKULL (Elder 
  Things)
  (see p216)
  ELDER THINGS, City-Builders Aeons Old
  Characteristic 
  Rolls 
   
  Averages
  STR 
   
  4d6 +24  
  38
  CON 
   
  3d6 +12  
  22–23
  SIZ 
   
  8d6 
   
  28
  INT 
   
  1d6+12  
  15–16
  POW 
   
  3d6 
   
  10–100
  DEX 
   
  3d6+6  
  16–17
  Move: 8/10 Flying 
   
  HP: 25–26
  Average Damage Bonus: +3d6
  Weapons: Tentacle 40%, damage half damage bonus in 
  constriction or full damage bonus in dissection.
  Armour: 7-point skin
  Sanity Loss: 0/1d6
  SHOGGOTHS
  Characteristic 
  Rolls 
   
  Averages
  STR 
   
  18d6  
   
  63
  CON 
   
  12d6 
   
  42
  SIZ 
   
  24d6 
   
  84
  INT 
   
  2d6 
   
  7
  POW 
   
  3d6 
   
  10–11
  DEX 
   
  1d6 
   
  3–4
  Move: 10 
   
   
  HP: 63
  Average Damage Bonus: +8d6
  Weapons: Crush 70% 
  Armour: None, but:
  Fire, electrical and chemical attacks do only half damage
  Physical weapons do only one point of damage
  Shoggoths regenerate 2 Hit Points per round
  Sanity Loss: 1d6/1d20
  GHOULS (Homo Sapiens Necrosis)
  (see handout on p219)
  GHOULS, Mocking Charnel Feeders
  Characteristic 
  Rolls 
   
  Averages
  STR 
   
  3d6+6  
  16–17
  CON 
   
  2d6+6  
  13
  SIZ 
   
  2d6+6  
  13
  INT 
   
  2d6+6  
  13
  POW 
   
  2d6+6  
  13
  DEX 
   
  2d6+6  
  13
  CHA 
   
  1d6+1  
  4–5
  Move: 9  
   
   
  HP: 13
  Average Damage Bonus: +1d4
  Weapons: Claws 30%, damage 1d6. A ghoul may make 
  two claw attacks and one bite attack in a round; if it hits 
  with all three attacks on a single target, it may make a bite 
  attack automatically in subsequent rounds until dislodged.
  Bite 30%, damage 1d6 plus automatic worry
  Armour: Firearms do half damage, rounded up.
  Sanity Loss: 0/1d6
  GAME ANDES REDSHIFT (Gorgons)
  (see handout on p222)
  MEDUSA, Innocent Handmaiden of  Death
  Characteristic 
  Rolls 
   
  Averages
  STR 
   
  3d6 
   
  11–12
  CON 
   
  3d6 
   
  11–12
  SIZ 
   
  2d6+6  
  13
  INT 
   
  2d6+3  
  10
  POW 
   
  3d6 
   
  11–12
  DEX 
   
  3d6 
   
  11–12
  CHA 
   
  3d6 
   
  11–12
  Move: 8  
   
   
  HP: 11
  Average Damage Bonus: +0
  Weapons: Gaze, automatic, damage is 6d6. Characters may 
  make a Dodge roll to avoid a gaze attack. 
  Sanity Loss: 0 to see a Medusa; 1/1d6 to witness the 
  effects of its gaze.
  COCKATRICE, Killer Chicken
  Characteristic 
  Rolls 
   
  Averages
  STR 
   
  1d3 
   
  2 
   
  CON 
   
  2d6 
   
  7
  SIZ 
   
  1d3 
   
  2
  INT 
   
  1 
   
  13
  POW 
   
  1d6 
   
  3–4
  DEX 
   
  2d6 
   
  7
  Move: 8  
   
   
  HP: 5
  Average Damage Bonus: –1d6
  Weapons: Gaze, automatic, damage is 6d6. Characters may 
  make a Dodge roll to avoid a gaze attack.
  Sanity Loss: 0 to see a Cockatrice; 1/1d6 to witness the 
  effects of its gaze.
  The arChiveS
  ChapTer nineTeen
  
  The Laundry
  226
  Mundane Animals 
  While this is more of a job for the RSPCA than the Laundry, 
  officers do sometimes run into dangerous animals in the 
  course of a mission, such as rabid guard dogs, Yig cultists 
  with pet snakes, or crocodiles in the sewers of London.
  Crocodile
  Characteristic 
  Rolls 
   
  Averages
  STR 
   
  4d6+12  
  26 
   
  CON 
   
  3d6+8  
  18–19
  SIZ 
   
  4d6+12  
  26
  POW 
   
  3d6 
   
  10–11
  DEX 
   
  2d6 
   
  7
  Move: 6/8 swimming 
   
  HP: 22–23
  Average Damage Bonus: +2d6
  Weapons: Bite 50%, damage 1d10+damage bonus
  Armour: 5-point hide
  Skills: Hide 60%, Sneak 50%, Swim 75%
  Dog
  Characteristic 
  Rolls 
   
  Averages
  STR 
   
  2d6 
   
  7 
   
  CON 
   
  3d6 
   
  10–11
  SIZ 
   
  1d6+1  
  4–5
  POW 
   
  2d6 
   
  7
  DEX 
   
  2d6+6  
  13
  Move: 12 
   
   
  HP: 7–8
  Average Damage Bonus: –1d4
  Weapons: Bite 30%, damage 1d6
  Skills: Listen 75%, Sense 90%
  Horse
  Characteristic 
  Rolls 
   
  Averages
  STR 
   
  3d6+18  
  28–29 
   
  CON 
   
  2d6+6  
  13
  SIZ 
   
  4d6+12  
  26
  POW 
   
  3d6 
   
  10–11
  DEX 
   
  3d6 
   
  10–11
  Move: 12 
   
   
  HP: 20
  Average Damage Bonus: +2d6
  Weapons: Kick 25%, damage 1d8+damage bonus
  Rear/Plunge 25%, damage 2d6+damage bonus
  Trample 25%, damage 2d8+damage bonus
  Armour: 1-point of muscle
  Skills: Dodge 45%, Hide 25%, Sense 50%
  Shark
  Characteristic 
  Rolls 
   
  Averages
  STR 
   
  3d6+12  
  22–23 
   
  CON 
   
  2d6+16  
  23
  SIZ 
   
  3d6+12  
  22–23
  POW 
   
  3d6 
   
  10–11
  DEX 
   
  2d6+3  
  10
  Move: 10 swimming 
   
  HP: 23
  Average Damage Bonus: +2d6
  Weapons: Bite 75%, damage 2d6+damage bonus
  Armour: 5-point skin
  Skills: Sense 95%, Swim 100%
  Snake (poisonous)
  Characteristic 
  Rolls 
   
  Averages
  STR 
   
  2d4 
   
  5 
   
  CON 
   
  2d6 
   
  7
  SIZ 
   
  2d4 
   
  5
  POW 
   
  1d8 
   
  4–5
  DEX 
   
  3d6 
   
  10–11
  Move: 6  
   
   
  HP: 6
  Average Damage Bonus: –1d6
  Weapons: Bite 70%, damage 1d2+poison
  Skills: Climb 50%, Dodge 50%, Hide 80%, Sense 65%, 
  Stealth 90%, Swim 50%
  Snake (constrictor)
  Characteristic 
  Rolls 
   
  Averages
  STR  
   
  3d6+12   
  22–23
  CON   
  2d6+6   
  13
  SIZ  
   
  5d6  
   
  17–18
  POW  
   
  3d6  
   
  10–11
  DEX  
   
  2d6+6   
  13
  Move: 6 (4 swimming) 
   
  HP: 15–16
  Average Damage Bonus: +1d6
  Attacks: Bite 65%, 1d4+½db 
  Constrict 40%, 1d6+db 
  Skills: Climb 85%, Dodge 60%, Hide 75%, Sense 75%, 
  Stealth 90%, Swim 50%.
  
  227
  20  ThreaTS
  The Laundry’s mission is to protect Earth1 from supernatural 
  threats and other dangers that the conventional security 
  forces are ill-equipped to deal with. There are an awful lot 
  of potential threats but very few actual ones. For every 
  genuine threat, there are thousands of false positives. You 
  can spend 40 years in the Laundry auditing mathematics 
  PhD dissertations or searching through parish bulletins for 
  mentions of human sacrifice in between the bingo and the 
  jumble sales without ever running into anything dangerous.
  Then again, there are people like Bob Howard, or the Player 
  Characters, who run into apocalyptic cults every time they 
  pop down to the shop for a litre of milk. 
  Cults 
  Cultists. They’re like cockroaches…. We have a rich 
  cultural baggage of primate behavior which includes 
  the urge to suck up to the big bad alpha male, and a 
  tendency to assume that any intelligence smarter or 
  nastier than we are is the top of the pack hierarchy. 
  Finally, we’ve got any number of dark religions out 
  there. The followers of Kali or Mictecacihuatl or the 
  various other faces of the lady of death. Certain splinter 
  sects of millennialist Christianity who believe that the 
  Revelation of St John is black propaganda and that 
  Satan will triumph. Strange heresies, by-blows of the 
  Albigensians who trace their heritage back to secret cells 
  who worshiped Ahriman in the palace basements of the 
  Persian Empire. Other groups who are less familiar: 
  syncretistic heresies spawned by bizarre collisions 
  between seekers of hidden knowledge and followers 
  of Tibetan demon princes. And, of course, bat-winged 
  squid gods, although I find it hard to believe that 
  anyone takes that seriously these days: I’m probably on 
  some deranged sacerdote’s death list for my choice of 
  plush novelty bedroom slippers, along with a million 
  other people.  
  1 Or, more accurately, the Queen, Her Majesty’s Govern-
  ment, Her Majesty’s Civil Service, the subjects of the 
  United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland 
  and its overseas territories and dependencies, our Euro-
  pean partners under the second Treaty of Nice, the bits of 
  Earth we like, the bits that might have oil under them and 
  then the rest of the planet – in that order.
  None of their beliefs matter. What matters is that if a 
  cell or coven or parish or whatever get their hands on a 
  genuine summoning ritual, the things at the other end 
  of the occult courtesy phone aren’t fussy about what 
  they’re called as long as the message is ‘chow time’. 
  — The Fuller Memorandum
  Sometimes, you even get genuine old-school cults who 
  worship Shub-Niggurath and sacrifice goats by moonlight 
  in secret glades, but most cults these days are harder to 
  spot. They have adopted urban camouflage, disguising 
  themselves as self-help centres, religious groups or avant-
  garde theatre groups. Some are like parasites, infiltrating 
  another organisation and then eating it out from the inside 
  until it’s nothing but a hollow shell of a disguise. 
  The average cult has six or more members; a large cult may 
  have hundreds of adherents, although the more extreme 
  and bizarre the cult’s beliefs, the smaller the inner core of 
  true believers will be. Most cults have a single charismatic 
  leader at the core, surrounded by a smaller cabal of semi-
  trusted devotees and enforcers. The average cult member is 
  likely to be confused and may be psychologically damaged. 
  There is always strong pressure to remain in the cult from 
  other cult members; withdrawing from the cult is never 
  an easy option. Some cults employ social means to ensure 
  loyalty (‘report on those whose faith is wavering’), others 
  take possession of their members’ bank accounts and 
  passports or just threaten those who leave with retribution. 
  If the cult has the magical wherewithal, then they may use 
  geases or possessor entities.
  Cults rarely possess true computational demonology. They 
  are more likely to have a few semi-functional and extremely 
  inefficient rituals that take hours to cast and involve plenty 
  of sacrifices and power draining, all to produce an effect 
  that you could replicate with a palmtop, a drop of blood 
  and an AA battery in 30 seconds. Still, they can call up 
  something dangerous, like an entity capable of possessing 
  multiple bodies. Old cults – survivors from ancient times, 
  folk religions that have clung to the shadows of civilisation 
  since the days of Babylon and Tyre – may also possess an 
  arsenal of magical devices or have still-active bargains with 
  alien powers that can be invoked.
  Threats
  ‘There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things 
  that we now know we don’t know. But there are also unknown unknowns. These are things we do not know we don’t know.’
  — Donald Rumsfeld
   
  ChapTer TwenTy
  
  The Laundry
  228
  Misguided Cults
  Misguided cults have made contact with the great beyond 
  – but they do not recognise what they are dealing with. 
  Misguided cults range from ‘are you there, Jesus? It’s me, Peter’ 
  to ‘are you there, Satan? It’s me, Brother Blooddrinker the Archvile!’ 
  taking in everything from pagans who mistook genuine, 
  Keziah-Mason-style witchcraft for wicca2 and spiritualists 
  who called up the ghost of Aunt Agnes and are wondering 
  why she now wants to devour their brains. In any case, 
  whatever entity they have contacted is usually more than 
  willing to play along in order to get hold of a host.
  Some misguided cults have got hold of genuine magical lore 
  that they have integrated into their own practices but, in 
  most cases, the supernatural element is largely accidental. 
  One of the cult members might possess a low-grade psychic 
  talent or arcane items or the cult’s meeting place might be 
  on a dimensional fault-line that makes it easier to contact 
  other universes.
  Misguided cults are comparatively harmless; the standard 
  approach is to ‘disarm’ them by removing or neutering 
  whatever the genuine occult element is, without alerting the 
  cult members.
  The Revealed Mission of  Gabriel
  The Revealed Mission is a small and obscure Christian 
  charitable group who believe that the Angel Gabriel has 
  chosen them to prepare for the Second Coming. The 
  ‘Missioner’ movement was founded in the late 1970s by 
  a former Catholic nun in Ireland and has since spread to 
  the UK and France. Total membership is estimated to be 
  fewer than 200 individuals. ‘Missioners’ are committed to 
  social work, especially in the fields of family counselling and 
  adoption. According to their beliefs, the Second Coming of 
  Christ may already have happened and they are to search 
  for the reborn Jesus. There are certain signs and birthmarks 
  that they must look for; Arcana Analysis suggests that these 
  signs may mark a child who is psychically strong enough to 
  be a suitable host for a possessor entity lurking just over the 
  dimensional divide.
  True Natural Farming Commune
  The TNFC is a small commune in Wales, dedicated to 
  living in harmony with nature, organic farming, eschewing 
  modern technology to avoid the effects of global warming 
  and peak oil and possibly worshipping Shub-Niggurath, 
  the obscene fecund goddess of prehistoric myth. The 
  TNFC’s farmland is astonishingly fertile and productive and 
  according to one former member of the commune, ritual 
  ceremonies involving animal sacrifice are performed four 
  times a year. The commune is located close to a strangely 
  barren knoll called the Devil’s Footprint, which has a high-
  thaum signature suggesting a potential weak spot. 
  2 Arcane glyphs work when you draw them in henna just 
  as well as when you draw them with azoth and pitchblende 
  on a moonless night – it is the geometry that matters.
  The TNFC has started selling food products. Samples 
  of their delicious Black Goat Ale are en route to Occult 
  Forensics.
  Dangerous Cults
  Dangerous cults are misguided cults with enthusiasm. They 
  may not know exactly how magic works but they are still 
  willing to use it. A dangerous cult has the ability to summon 
  entities of class two or higher, or has other potentially 
  hazardous magic at its disposal, which it actively uses to 
  pursue its goals. 
  Without computational demonology, the TCO (Total 
  Cost of Occultism) adds up rapidly. Conjuring demons 
  using old-style sorcery is extremely inefficient, so soon the 
  bodies start piling up and the cult leaders come down with 
  Krantzberg Syndrome, making them even more paranoid 
  and deranged. Pretty soon, the cult either self-destructs in a 
  messy battle between rival sects or else it becomes centred 
  on the worship of extra-dimensional entities. A few really 
  dangerous cults manage to evolve into a semi-stable form, 
  where the cult’s magic-fuelled recruiting practices (‘join us 
  and get genuine magic powers!’) are sufficient to offset the cost 
  of old-style sorcery (‘please sign over all your worldly goods before 
  we, er, harvest your engrams’). 
  The worst-case scenario is a cross-over between dangerous 
  cults and terrorists. Fortunately, cults with genuine occult 
  ability are usually focussed on more esoteric goals than 
  overthrowing Western democracy – they are usually 
  more interested in wiping out their rivals in the occult 
  underground, beaming their souls onto the mothership or 
  bringing forth more sacrifices for their alien gods. 
  Dangerous cults are usually dealt with in concert with other 
  authorities – the Laundry disarms the cult’s occult ability 
  and the conventional police deal with the rest.
  Cthunetics 
  Based on the writings of an obscure 1930s science fiction 
  writer, Cthunetics was founded in the 1950s in the United 
  States and now operates branches in Germany, Australia, 
  New Zealand and the UK. Cthunetics claims to be able to 
  remove harmful psychic taint from the human soul, taint 
  that is caused by telepathic emanations from a sleeping 
  demon under the Pacific. If this taint is cleared by a complex 
  process of psychoanalysis and directed dreaming, the 
  subject can make contact with the ‘good golden twin’ of the 
  demon and attain higher levels of spiritual enlightenment. 
  The church takes Mastercard, Visa, American Express or 
  just billion-year contracts of service.
  The cult actively recruits influential celebrities and the 
  super-wealthy. The Laundry has confirmed that the cult uses 
  glamours and geases as part of recruitment and the Cthunetic 
  ‘sanctums’ are warded against intruders. Through church-
  owned holding companies, Cthunetics is a shareholder in 
  several cutting-edge computer companies, suggesting they 
  are actively pursuing computational demonology. 
  
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  20  ThreaTS
  Mythos Cults
  There are cults that are genuinely ancient, whose beliefs were 
  passed down from the unknowable reaches of prehistory 
  or who learned the secret names of their gods from other, 
  older races such as the Deep Ones, or whose deranged 
  prophets touched the dreams of sleeping monsters. Mythos 
  Cults fulfil all the criteria of being dangerous cults – access 
  to magic, willingness to commit crimes, sacrifices, deranged 
  cult leaders and so forth – but are a much greater threat.
  Firstly, even if the cult is still stuck in the Dark Ages and 
  will not know a microprocessor from a handsaw, they still 
  have centuries of experience in using sorcery. Secondly, 
  they almost always have inhuman allies or servitors. Thirdly, 
  they have a definite goal in mind – opening up the gates of 
  reality and letting their masters feast. 
  Dealing with a Mythos cult is a major undertaking and one 
  that cannot be shared with other agencies. They are entirely 
  the Laundry’s problem.
  Brotherhood of  the Black Pharoah
  The Brotherhood claims descent from Egyptian worshippers 
  of Nyarlathotep and is dedicated to opening the way for 
  their dark god. The cult’s reach is global; they have been 
  wiped out several times but reform again and again. They 
  are behind assassinations and pogroms in Yugoslavia, 
  behind civil wars and genocide in the Congo, behind bizarre 
  experiments and slave trafficking in Northern Europe. They 
  are intelligent fanatics, inhumanly patient and without the 
  slightest trace of morality or sanity; monsters with human 
  faces. Geases and binding rituals are used to ensure loyalty; 
  no counter-occult group has ever penetrated the upper 
  echelons of the Brotherhood and even their front groups 
  and pawns (such as the Christian Free Church of the 
  Universal Kingdom3) are hard to crack. Agents who make it 
  in are usually found a few weeks later, their tongues cut out 
  and their faces contorted in an expression of utter terror.
  Esoteric Order of  Dagon
  The Esoteric Order of Dagon is a cult founded by BLUE 
  HADES worshippers. Since the Agreement of the Azores, 
  BLUE HADES has agreed not to make contact with 
  humans except at certain designated locations, so the EOD 
  is cut off from its former patrons. The cult still worships 
  BLUE HADES and may secretly serve as their intelligence-
  gathering arm on land, if such concepts can be applied 
  to an alien species. Another possibility is that the EOD 
  is controlled by a splinter faction of BLUE HADES who 
  do not agree with the Benthic Treaty’s restriction on their 
  movements.
  If the cult is not still controlled by BLUE HADES, then 
  they may be a threat – they have effectively been abandoned 
  by their gods and they may blame the government for this. 
  So far, the Laundry and other counter-occult groups have 
  taken a hands-off attitude to the Dagonites, in case BLUE 
  HADES take offence.  
  Cabals and Lone Wolves
  ‘Next on the agenda’, says Andy,’ what to do with 
  Malcolm Denver, PhD. Further action is indicated 
  in view of this paper; we can’t leave it lying around 
  in public. Cuts too close to the bone. If he goes public 
  and  reproduces it we could be facing a Level One 
  reality excursion within weeks. But we can’t do the 
  usual brush and clean either, Oversight would have 
  our balls. Ahem, could have us all cooling our heels 
  for months in a diversity awareness program for the 
  sensitivity-impaired.’
  — The Atrocity Archives
   
  Madmen, sorcerers, psychics, solitary geeks with an interest 
  in abstruse fractals – anyone capable of using magic is 
  also capable of inviting an External Intelligence in to play. 
  Tracking down lone wolves is growing increasingly easy for 
  the Laundry, thanks to the internet and telecommunications 
  interception. Even the most anti-social paranoid leaves an 
  electronic trail, even if it is just an anonymous post on some 
  occult message board4. 
  The term ‘lone wolf’ comes from American anti-terrorism 
  and law enforcement, where it refers to a lone terrorist 
  operating without the support of a network or organisation. 
  The Laundry uses it to refer to occultists who are not 
  motivated by religion (cultists) or by extremist politics 
  (terrorists). Cabals are small groups of occultists who are 
  working together. Unlike a cult, there is no single leader and 
  no overriding ethos; they are simply friends or associates. 
  3 Key tenet: ‘Make babies for God! God is hungry!
  4 The lurkers support him with tentacles. 
  ThreaTS
   
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  Lone wolves fall into two categories – clueless and sorcerous.
  Clueless 
  Your classic ‘lone computer geek messing with interesting 
  code’, or ‘anthropology post-grads translate the wrong old 
  book’. Clueless operators have no idea that their experiments 
  have real occult power or that there is the potential to cause 
  harm. They have access to some sort of occult power, like a 
  grimoire with a functional incantation or a magical relic of 
  some sort but have no idea that it means anything. Clueless 
  cabals are especially hard to deal with, because they only 
  cross the Laundry’s radar after something goes wrong or if 
  Predictive Branch has a really good day.
   
  ●
  A bunch of D&D players who have decided to 
  introduce ‘real’ occult names and concepts into their 
  game could end up drawing a summoning grid in dry-
  erase marker and calling up 1d4+1 alien horrors. 
   
  ●
  Dr. East believes he has a revolutionary new 
  psychotherapeutic treatment. Just stare into this 
  symbol that he found in the notes of a discredited 
  1920’s alienist and you will be a new person in no time!
   
  ●
  The pensioners down at the bingo hall might be 
  warping the laws of probability with their new betting 
  system, but soon the caller is going to shout ‘the yellow 
  sign! Everyone dies!’ and they will find teethmarks on the 
  zimmer frames.
   
  ●
  An online forum of maths geeks enthuse about 
  the new three-dimensional fractal images they have 
  generated… and then one of them sees something 
  moving in what should be a static rendering…
  Sorcerous 
  Sorcerous lone wolves and cabals are those who have 
  mastered some sorcerous or occult technique and are using 
  it to their advantage. Such cabals may claim to be benign 
  – a group of scientists working on alchemy, for example, 
  may have convinced themselves that their work is harmless 
  despite its occult nature – but any organised occult use 
  is a potential public health hazard and comes under the 
  Laundry’s aegis.
  These cabals know too much to stay on the outside; they 
  must be taken into the Laundry, bound to secrecy or 
  otherwise eliminated. 
  	
  ●
  An archaeologist digs up a DEEP SEVEN vitrified 
  embryo and starts talking to it. The egg talks back and 
  explains how to manipulate telluric currents and see 
  beneath the skin of the world. If continued, these 
  manipulations will cause a massive earthquake – the 
  egg’s distress call to its subterranean kin.
  	
  ●
  A dotcom start-up tries skirting the restrictions on 
  computational demonology to get ahead of the 
  competition. 
  	
  ●
  Death is optional – a cabal of necromancers is 
  exploring ways to bind human souls to dead bodies 
  in a variation of the lichdom rite. Unfortunately, the 
  binding spell has a targeting bug and suddenly the 
  local hospital’s mortality rate becomes unnaturally 
  low…
  Corporations
  ‘TLA was founded in 1979 by Ellis Billington and his 
  partner Ritchie Martin. Ritchie was the software guy, 
  Ellis the front man, which is why these days Ellis has a 
  net worth of seventeen billion US dollars and Ritchie 
  lives in a hippie commune in Oregon and refuses to deal 
  with any unit of time he can’t schedule on a sundial.’
  — The Jennifer Morgue
  It turned out that the world would need slightly more than 
  five computers, despite the alleged prediction of IBM’s 
  president Thomas Watson back in 1943. There are millions 
  of computer programmers and researchers out there and 
  the Dee-Turing Theorem has been replicated many times 
  since Bletchley Park. Almost everyone has a vested interest 
  in keeping the lid on computational demonology, so between 
  government pressure, audits and oversight from the various 
  counter-occult groups and the lack of companies willing to 
  spend blue-sky research funds on anything involving weird 
  medieval metaphysics, the world has avoided a major reality 
  breach thus far. In cases where a researcher gets too close to 
  the truth before being noticed then he is either recruited by 
  the Laundry or a counterpart organisation or transferred to 
  one of the civilian contractors who supply occult hardware 
  and software.
  In the distance, though, the shareholders bay like wolves, 
  hungry for dividends. The fact that the world economy took 
  a swan-dive does not help matters – there are significant 
  advantages to using occult techniques in industry and some 
  corporations have decided that these advantages (increased 
  speed, advertising glamours, zombie shelf-stackers working 
  
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  20  ThreaTS
  in Walmart and so on) are worth the potential downsides 
  (literal blue screens of death, for starters). The Laundry 
  overlooks minor breaches of the public-private agreement, 
  but corporations who are endangering reality must be 
  investigated and disarmed, if possible5.
  Fortunately, the same desire for profit that drives 
  corporations to use occult techniques also ensures they will 
  keep it under control, as it is hard to sell beige boxes to the 
  dead. 
   
  ●
  Dillinger Associates: A part of Qinetiq, which 
  was itself DERA (Defence Evaluation and 
  Research Agency), the British military/espionage 
  research group before it got privatised. Dillinger 
  Associates are technically still part of Q Division 
  despite being a private company; they are part of 
  the SCORPION STARE team. 
   
  ●
  TLA Corporation: One of the world’s biggest 
  software companies, selling software to the 
  US military, including the Black Chamber and 
  to European counterparts. They were recently 
  discovered to have diversified into other fields, 
  such as cosmetics, giant deep-sea drilling 
  platforms, zombification, raising Cthonian cyborg 
  war-gods from the deep and cat food. Since 
  the unfortunately death of Ellis Billington on 
  holiday in the Carribean, TLA has undergone a 
  restructuring process and (mostly) divested itself 
  of non-performing sectors, such as plans for world 
  domination.
  Terrorists
  This stuff is fairly serious juju in our field… but the 
  likes of Yusuf Qaradawi can’t get his hands on it 
  without a hell of lot of reverse engineering, any more 
  than the provisional IRA ever got their hands on 
  cruise missile technology. The difference is, to build 
  a cruise missile takes a ton of aerospace engineers, an 
  advanced electronics industry, and factories. Whereas 
  to build a scalar field that can locally boost probability 
  coefficients attached to a Wigner’s Friend observer – 
  say, to allow a suicide bomber to walk through a ring 
  of bodyguards as though they aren’t there – takes a 
  couple of theoreticians and one or two field ops. Occult 
  weapons are so much more portable that you can think 
  in terms of stealing the infrastructure – if you’ve got 
  people who can understand it.
  — The Atrocity Archives
  Asymmetric warfare is bad enough without introducing 
  entities that are asymmetric in directions that the human 
  mind cannot comprehend. The Laundry’s efforts to prevent 
  terrorist groups from getting occult weapons are hampered 
  by institutional jealousy from SIS and the Security Service. 
  5 Said corporations have billions of pounds in assets, lamia 
  guardians, active wards and trained attack lawyers. Good 
  luck.
  There were things found in Tora Bora in Afghanistan that 
  strongly indicate Al-Qaeda experiments with the occult and 
  the Iraqi Mukhabarat were able to open gates before they 
  were wiped out. 
  While the chances of a terrorist group cracking the Dee-
  Turing Theorem and developing computational demonology 
  weapons that can get past the Laundry are remote, that is not 
  what Predictive Branch is worried about. There is a higher 
  chance that terrorists could find some leftover artefact from 
  a prior civilisation, but the real nightmare scenario is the 
  ‘occult dirty bomb’ – a virulent possessor entity, one that 
  can inhabit any number of victims, being summoned in a 
  major metropolitan area. The only way to contain such an 
  outbreak would be immediate deployment of SCORPION 
  STARE.
  White Knights of  Britain: The last remnant of a fascist 
  group that was current in the 1930s and ‘40s. Back in 
  the day, they had strong ties to the Nazis and were busy 
  pontificating about how the Jewish stranglehold on Great 
  Britain would soon be exposed and destroyed. The White 
  Knights recruited from the upper classes and were secretly 
  involved in SS-derived occult ceremonies. The organisation 
  did not survive the war – Rudolph Hess is rumoured to 
  have come to England in an attempt to make contact with 
  their leaders.
  The group re-appeared unexpectedly in the mid-90s, having 
  widened its scope to include not only Jews but all ‘non-
  Nordics’. They have also gone down-market, recruiting 
  from disaffected youths and neo-Nazi skinheads instead of 
  the aristocracy. They are suspected of involvement in several 
  racially-motivated attacks in London and Birmingham, 
  including the murder of two black teenagers. These murders 
  had ritual elements to them, leading the Laundry to suspect 
  that the White Knights may be attempting to recreate Thule-
  Gesellschaft type invocations. 
  Rogue Officers
  ‘You strike me as being a reasonably adaptable, 
  intelligent young man. It’s really a shame you’re 
  working for the public sector. Are you sure I can’t 
  bribe you? How would a million dollars in a numbered 
  account in the Caymans suit you?’
  — The Jennifer Morgue
  The Laundry takes steps to ensure the loyalty of its officers. 
  The recruitment oath is magically binding and those who 
  break the Official Secrets Act, who betray the Laundry or 
  who fail to file accurate timesheets usually spontaneously 
  combust – and that is just at lower levels. Above SSO3(L), 
  the oaths become really serious. 
  Even the best security has holes. That which is bound can 
  be unbound. Some of those bound by the Laundry’s spells 
  are the same people who wrote them in the first place; 
  others are in the service of greater powers that can break 
  the bindings. There have only been a handful of rogue 
  ThreaTS
   
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  232
  officers in the Laundry’s history, thanks to the vigilance of 
  Counter-Possession and Counter-Subversion and they are 
  divided into three categories. 
  Disgruntled Officers
  Disgruntled, logic impaired, drank from the teapot, wore 
  the wrong hat, monster raving lunatics – going insane is an 
  occupational hazard in the Laundry. There is psychological 
  counselling, assessment, magical protections, a general 
  encouragement to keep a stiff upper lip and the option of 
  a trip to St. Hilda’s for those who need a break but some 
  Laundry officers do lose it completely and go rogue. Usually, 
  this happens in the middle of a mission – the officer suffers 
  a psychotic break on seeing something ghastly and escapes 
  the scene before help arrives. 
  Most disgruntled officers are picked up within a few hours 
  or are found starving on the streets ranting about demons 
  and paperwork. With luck, they still have their assigned 
  equipment and have not blasted any passers-by with basilisk 
  guns. In rare cases, a disgruntled officer manages to escape 
  capture for months or years. For example, there was the 
  infamous case of Mr. M. Craig, a once-promising field 
  agent who became convinced that Human Resources was 
  staffed entirely by finger-puppets animated by tentacles 
  that slithered out of the North Atlantic. He escaped the 
  Laundry and was at large for 10 months, using various 
  forms of occult evasion to stay ahead of his pursuers while 
  writing threatening letters to both the Laundry and the 
  Home Office. (He was eventually captured trying to break 
  in to Service House – not by the security systems but an 
  accounting ward that prevented him from reaching Human 
  Resources without first filing 10 months’ worth of expense 
  reports.)
  Defectors
  To the Soviets, to the Americans… or worse, to the other 
  side. While the Laundry never had a scandal like the 
  Cambridge Five, there have been officers who switched 
  loyalties to another group or who were double agents, 
  spying on Laundry operations for their foreign masters. 
  Counter-Subversion and Operational Oversight sometimes 
  run loyalty tests, to confirm the devotion of officers to 
  Queen and Country and the Auditors can ask awkward 
  questions at any time. 
  Retired/Private Sector
  The Laundry offers a civil service pension to those who 
  survive their working life but you never really leave. There 
  are retired gentlemen pottering around with rose bushes 
  who could summon up unimaginable horrors if they 
  snapped their fingers and former spies writing up their 
  memoirs in Enochian while watching Countdown. Other 
  officers have transferred to the private sector, either 
  legally (it is permissible to leave the Laundry, as long as 
  the powers are convinced that you will keep your mouth 
  shut) or illegally (selling state secrets, jumping ship to an 
  unconventional technology corporation). There is a grey 
  halo of private corporations, consultancies and think tanks 
  around all espionage, including the occult kind.
  The Laundry keeps tabs on all of these security risks. You 
  never know when old Mr. Smith (Field Agent, 1963-1993) 
  is going to go off his medication and start summoning 
  byakhee in the middle of his prize rose bushes.
  Other Species and Esoteric Threats 
  If either of the two other major intelligent species on earth 
  – the aquatic BLUE HADES and the subterranean DEEP 
  SEVEN – started hostilities, humanity’s chances of survival 
  would be next to nil. Neither the Deep Ones nor the 
  Cthonians are interested in starting a fight at this time, so the 
  Laundry focuses on lesser threats and incursions. There are 
  various transient visitors, such as the PLUTO KOBOLD 
  spacefarers or exonomic entities capable of entering our 
  continuum without being summoned and these creatures 
  need to be dealt with. In all cases, violence is a last resort; we 
  may be able to shoot the Yuggothian equivalent of a survey 
  team but this may be taken as an act of war. Containment, 
  banishing or diplomacy are preferred options (at the same 
  time, we cannot tolerate aggression towards humans, so 
  pincers off our brains!).
  Transient weak anomalies, where the barriers between 
  dimensions weaken and things filter in, are a recurring 
  problem. The big TWA will come during CASE 
  NIGHTMARE GREEN, when all the walls fall and the 
  deluge of horror comes down upon us but until then there 
  are plenty of overtures and false starts. During an anomaly, 
  magic becomes easier and hence, more dangerous. You also 
  have lots of thaumic energy bouncing around, creating all 
  sorts of weird effects. 
  The next threat, of course, is the one that cannot be 
  predicted. That is the great thing about the Laundry – 
  something new to wash clean, every day.
  
  233
  21 CaSe nIGhTMare 
  Green
  CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN is the Cthulhoid 
  Apocalypse, where vast and terrible extra-dimensional 
  monsters return to Earth and devour, or at least attempt 
  to devour, humanity. One of the most horrifying aspects 
  of this coming disaster is that humanity’s actions are the 
  reason these creatures are coming soon. Their return 
  is driven by a perfect storm of three factors – human 
  population growth, Moore’s Law and the structure of space. 
  The growing human population means more complex, 
  quantum collapsing-biocomputers flexing the structure 
  of reality. Moore’s Law gives us the possibility for making 
  magic easier and ever more powerful and eventually even 
  more quantum-collapsing computers. Meanwhile, the solar 
  system is in the process of entering an area of space where 
  the boundaries between the universe we know and mostly 
  love and the various other dimensions becomes ‘thinner’, 
  allowing various nasties to sense Earthly events and to drop 
  by for a snack far more easily than they could before. The 
  only upside is that Earth will only be in this cosmic ‘thin 
  spot’ for approximately the next 70 years, after that time, 
  it moves back to an area where space is somewhat more 
  normal and the door letting the old gods in shuts for at least 
  the next few centuries. 
  Since drastic population reduction (aka mass death) tends 
  to summon other sorts of even worse nasties, shutting off 
  all of the computers would almost certainly result in mass 
  death and moving the solar system is not an option, there is 
  no known way to stop the conditions leading up to CASE 
  NIGHTMARE GREEN. All that the Laundry, and various 
  similar agencies across the globe, can do is to prepare for 
  when it happens. Fortunately, all this has been known for 
  more than 30 years and so there has been lots of time 
  for preparation. Unfortunately, these entities make BLUE 
  HADES or DEEP SEVEN look like annoying gnats, so 
  it is unclear exactly how much difference several decades 
  of well-funded preparation is going to make. However, that 
  does not mean that the Laundry will not keep trying. 
  According to the latest data, CASE NIGHTMARE 
  GREEN is happening soon but not immediately. The best 
  current guess is that it happens in more than two years 
  and less than five, but there is room for error on both 
  sides of this estimate. The next question is exactly what 
  happens. The old and established theory is that once the 
  combination of the various parameters pass a specific 
  threshold, the nasties come back in an instant. However, 
  one recent, and still disputed theory holds that there will 
  be a lead up of several months, where magic gradually 
  becomes considerably more powerful and various Fortean 
  events become increasingly widespread, until eventually the 
  old and hideous gods start walking out of the walls and 
  devouring us. The only certain way to differentiate between 
  these two theories is, unfortunately, to wait and see what 
  happens. However, according to either theory, before either 
  event happens, there will be a slow but noticeable increase 
  in various inter-dimensional phenomena. 
  As the end times get close, cases of spontaneous possession 
  by various low-level entities, approbation of small objects, 
  ghostly voices and apparitions, poltergeist effects, where 
  objects spontaneously move or catch fire and many similar 
  phenomena will not become common but near the end they 
  will occur significantly more frequently than they do now. 
  In fact, graphing the slowly increasing frequency of these 
  phenomena is what initially led to the discovery of CASE 
  NIGHTMARE GREEN.  
  The big question is what happens when the stars actually are 
  right (or from our perspective, very wrong indeed) and how 
  do we survive it. The best guess from the various lunatics 
  working in the R&D and theoretical sorcery divisions 
  is that the news is very bad, but not world-endingly bad. 
  Something very similar happened once before, way back in 
  the Pre-Cambrian and the Earth is still around and still has 
  life on it. Nothing that happens is likely to crack the planet 
  like an egg, toss it into the Sun or otherwise cause any sort 
  of astronomical or even massive geological catastrophe. 
  However, while life on Earth should survive, we do not 
  know if that will include us, or in fact anything multi-cellular. 
  As for what it will look like, we know that inter-dimensional 
  permeability will increase drastically, which means that 
  various creatures from other dimensions will come here. 
  We do not know if this means that minor but dangerous 
  creatures like the feeders in the night will come through by 
  CaSe nighTMare 
  green
  ‘I’m a believer. And like I said, I wish I was still an atheist. Believing I was born into a harsh, uncaring cosmos 
  -- in which my existence was a random roll of the dice and I was destined to die and rot and then be gone forever 
  -- was infinitely more comforting than the truth.
  Because the truth is, my God is coming back. When he arrives I’ll be waiting for him with a shotgun. And I’m 
  keeping the last shell for myself.’
   
  — The Fuller Memorandum
   
  ChapTer TwenTy-One
  
  234
  The Laundry
  the dozens or hundreds, or if the arrival of the elder gods 
  will keep them away or if these creatures will simply provide 
  the elder gods with additional snacks. 
  At this point, you are asking, or perhaps dreading to ask, 
  what is an elder god? The sad part is that we do not exactly 
  know. Given the energy balances involved, most researchers 
  believe that we will not end up with anything like the 
  universe-devouring infovore the Ahnenerbe-SS summoned 
  but a few of the R&D types believe that this is exactly what 
  we will be dealing with. However, most current research, 
  which in this case means educated guesswork, indicates that 
  we will be attacked by somewhere between one and a small 
  number of hideously powerful entities that eat souls. In 
  more precise terms, these creatures eat complex patterns, 
  like advanced computer software or the electrical patterns 
  in your brain. Likely, the elder god or gods will be able to 
  devour human minds by the tens or hundreds of thousands 
  but they cannot eat all of humanity at once. 
  Unfortunately, one likely guess is that these creatures will 
  also disrupt human neural patterns for some radius around 
  them, leading to localised outbreaks of insanity. Also, if the 
  elder gods do not happen to devour the extra-dimensional 
  jackals who show up to feast on their leftovers, then we will 
  likely also have the feeders in the night animating many of 
  the millions of corpses lying about. In short, soul-eating 
  demon-gods, frenzied masses of the insane and possibly 
  armies of the walking dead. Short of cracking the planet 
  like an egg, that is about as bad as we can imagine and we 
  will likely see it all live and in colour in a few years. If we do 
  nothing, it is game over for civilisation and very likely for 
  humanity as a species. However, doing nothing is not on the 
  table, we have plans – lots of plans.
  What is Really Going to Happen?
  Reading this or any other reports about CASE 
  NIGHTMARE GREEN, you have likely noticed some 
  serious vagueness. It is all end of days, cthulhloid apocalypse, 
  monsters not like a hedgehog and not like a saltshaker and 
  a whole bunch of decidedly non-descriptive descriptions. 
  What you would probably like at this point is for someone 
  to actually lay out in clear black and white text, what is going 
  to happen and what the inhuman architects of our coming 
  doom will look like. Sadly, you’re not going to get that here 
  or anywhere else for that matter. 
  Except perhaps for a few researchers and sorcerers who are 
  now carefully studying the insides of their well-padded cells, 
  no one has the slightest idea of what these elder gods look 
  like or exactly what they are going to do. We know they 
  come from an exceedingly alien dimension, we know they 
  feed on complex information, like human neural networks, 
  we know that increasing population and Moore’s Law are 
  drawing them closer and we know that they will be showing 
  up for dinner very soon. That is it. 
  The mathematically inclined among you can look at the 
  statistical proofs for what you have just read, or, if you 
  are up for it, the tensor calculus describing the dimensions 
  our devourers come from, but none of that is going to 
  
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  give you a good sense of what they will be like or what 
  the coming apocalypse will actually involve. What I can tell 
  you is that it is not going to look anything like some guy in 
  a vinyl suit and a rubber squid head stomping on a model 
  of Tokyo. The weakly godlike entities aka elder gods are 
  likely to appear horrifyingly large but they also come from 
  an incomprehensibly alien dimension. They are not going 
  to be possessing living beings, they will be coming here in 
  person and maintaining their physical integrity by dragging 
  a pocket of their local physical laws around with them. 
  For a short distance around them, reality will work on their 
  terms. Thankfully, in this case, ‘short distance’ actually 
  means pretty short – maintaining that sort of dimensional 
  interface over an area of miles or tens of miles is well 
  beyond any creature’s capabilities. Walls will run like water 
  and tables transform into animate clouds but only for at 
  most 100 metres around them. Beyond that radius, reality 
  should remain fairly stable. Within that radius, we not only 
  do not know what anything will be like but our limited minds 
  simply cannot know this. Asking what Great Cthulhu, or 
  whatever name you prefer, looks like is exactly like asking 
  what a five-sided triangle looks like – neither one can exist 
  in our reality, we cannot imagine what they would look like 
  and if you actually did manage, you would then be too crazy 
  to tell anyone.   
  Preparations
  Everyone in the Laundry who knows about CASE 
  NIGHTMARE GREEN knows that pretty much every 
  civilised nation is getting ready for it. However, we do not 
  know what the Black Chamber or the other occult agencies 
  are planning. Our own preparations fall into several 
  categories. The most well funded and well known is the 
  SCORPION STARE network. All of the many millions of 
  security cameras in the entire UK are poised at a moment’s 
  notice to gorgonise any and all threats to Queen and 
  Country. If we are overrun by legions of the walking dead, 
  the SCORPTION STARE network will work wonders, if 
  somewhat messy and carbonised wonders. Most theories 
  indicate that when the elder gods walk into our universe, 
  they will come in bodies made up of some sort of flesh, 
  which means that they may be able to be gorgonised but 
  there are many fewer guarantees on this front. They might 
  be immune because there is not an atom of carbon in their 
  bodies, because some property of the reality they surround 
  themselves with deflects the effects of basilisk weapons or 
  for some other reason that we do not understand. However, 
  we know SCORPION STARE works on both the walking 
  dead and on most extra-dimensional monsters, so it is our 
  best hope for defence. At minimum, with an entire planet 
  to choose from, we are hoping that it will prove to be a 
  sufficient nuisance to keep one small island mostly off 
  the buffet table. Of course, every other nation that has 
  assembled a massive defence to CASE NIGHTMARE 
  GREEN has similar plans. We will not have any clue as to 
  how well any of this works in practice until it is far too late 
  to come up with a better plan.  
  The Refuges
  While you have likely never seen them, there are 
  underground hideouts beneath most major cities in the 
  UK. Constructed during the Cold War as part of the system 
  of Government and Regional civil defence bunkers, these 
  shelters naturally include well-equipped command centres 
  for the military and the various intelligence agencies, 
  us most certainly included. However, these refuges also 
  contain accommodations for thousands of civilians. These 
  accommodations are all deep underground. In London, 
  they are located in disused tunnels for the Underground 
  as well as in chambers excavated below them. All of these 
  refuges are protected with banishing grids and warded with 
  level four protective pentacles. Naturally, there is tinned 
  food, air filters, equipment for filtering and using local water 
  supplies, as well as caches of medicine and arms. None of 
  this will help 99% of the population but we may be able to 
  save some people, if things come to that. The downside is 
  that if the refuges are full up, there is not food for more 
  than a couple of months. No one knows if these things 
  will actually make a difference but it is better than nothing. 
  Unsurprisingly, the accommodations for essential personnel 
  have supplies for several years.
  Other Solutions
  At this point, we are into blue sky solutions that we hope 
  will work. One promising, but naturally untested, weapon 
  system is EMERALD JAVELIN. This weapon consists 
  of missiles that each carry three separate nodes engraved 
  with level four banishing grids that are each powered by 
  explosively pumped flux compression generators. It is an 
  occult variant of the laser-guided Starstreak missile and like 
  the Starstreak, after the missile’s final burn, the three lance-
  shaped banishing nodes separate and strike the target as 
  three individual projectiles. In theory, the three banishing 
  nodes should multiply their effectiveness if they strike the 
  target simultaneously.
  We hope they can blast the elder gods back home or perhaps 
  into whatever oblivion we can manage. EMERALD 
  JAVELIN technology is also being developed in shoulder-
  launched versions as well as larger and more powerful 
  versions suitable for deployment by warships and fighter 
  planes. 
  Also, since one of the problems is that our planet is moving 
  into an area where space is more permeable, there is a great 
  deal of work on developing systems to make space less 
  permeable, at least on a local level. In an ideal world, we 
  could deploy a set of generators around the planet to place 
  a field around the entire Earth that would make our world 
  inaccessible to the elder gods. However, evidence indicates 
  that we do not live in an ideal world. At this point, there 
  have been some promising developments but no one has 
  any idea if this project will produce anything more than 
  some interesting lab results. Maybe we can ward a few cities, 
  maybe we can surround our green and pleasant isle with 
  anti-monster generators or maybe we can protect the entire 
  world. Your guess is as good as mine, but even people who 
  think this project will work are not ignoring other options.
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  The Laundry
  Unknown Factors    
  We are not alone on Earth. We share the planet with BLUE 
  HADES and DEEP SEVEN and we have no idea how 
  CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN will affect either species. 
  Maybe they both know that they are doomed and are not 
  bothering to try useless measures that they know will not 
  work, maybe the elder gods will not bother the freezing 
  depths of the sea or the roasting depths of the mantle or 
  perhaps they have the situation covered and already have 
  their defences in place. We have got no clue. We have no 
  open line of communication with DEEP SEVEN and while 
  we have limited diplomatic contact with BLUE HADES, 
  everyone who has asked them about their plans for CASE 
  NIGHTMARE GREEN has received some version of 
  ‘we are aware of the problem’ or more often silence. The 
  fact that neither species has exterminated us or culled our 
  population back to a safer level either means that they are 
  more worried about the effects of mass death on the planet 
  or they are ready for CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN, which 
  may be cause for hope. Perhaps when the stars begin to 
  become right all of the BLUE HADES settlements on the 
  planet will activate their anti-monster grids and surround 
  the planet with a sparkling elder god proof force field. Of 
  course, it is at least as likely that they have somehow made 
  themselves immune to the effects of the elder gods or 
  both species have large and comfortable (for them at least) 
  shelters prepared deep under the ocean or in the depths of 
  the mantle, where they will happily shelter until the stars 
  cease being right. So, they are not worried, because in less 
  than a century, these two species can go back to hating one 
  another and never again need to worry about those pesky 
  primates that once inhabited the surface.
  Rising Magic
  If one recent theory about CASE NIGHTMARE 
  GREEN is correct, then for somewhere between one and 
  seven months before the elder gods return, all magic will 
  become considerably more powerful. The reason for this is 
  surprisingly simple. The frequency of various spontaneous 
  supernatural events rises slightly as the world inches 
  towards CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN and if this theory 
  is correct, tens of millions of human minds begin noticing 
  more oddities like fish falling from the sky or the occasional 
  corpse clawing its way out of a grave. This awareness of 
  supernatural events serves to make future supernatural 
  events easier, including future uses of sorcery, in a feedback 
  loop that speeds up the approach of CASE NIGHTMARE 
  GREEN.  
  Dubbed ‘the acceleration’, if it happens, it supplies warning 
  that CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN is imminent, while also 
  possibly providing some hope of a solution. Perhaps BLUE 
  HADES and DEEP SEVEN are not so much as preparing 
  for the return of the elder gods, as getting ready for the rise 
  of magic, when they begin the serious work of keeping out 
  the elder gods. We may well be able to do something similar. 
  Level four spells are normally fairly difficult and level five 
  are almost impossible to manage. However, by halfway 
  through the acceleration, high-end desktop computers will 
  be able to manage level four spells without help and level 
  THE TrUTH COMES OUT
  Regardless of which option you choose, one 
  of the facts that the characters are going 
  to deal with is the fact that as CASE 
  NIGHTMARE GREEN approaches, a sufficient 
  amount of magic and weirdness occurs that 
  the general public may cease chalking these 
  events up to swamp gas, freak weather and 
  mass hallucinations. When sorcery becomes 
  more powerful and more visible, even the 
  least curious people might eventually 
  notice that occasionally the dead walk 
  and magic happens. Even if the characters 
  prevent CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN, their world 
  could be forever changed. 
  If this happens, some people will panic. 
  Many will demand answers from the press and 
  the government, especially answers about 
  why all this was not made public years 
  ago. Also, a few people are going to become 
  overly curious. Unless you decide to go 
  with a conclusion that results in magic 
  being considerably less powerful after 
  everything is over (see page 238, The Ending 
  Sorcery Endgame), the characters, and the 
  Laundry in general, are going to get a lot 
  busier, while also being considerably less 
  secret. 
  Once the general public learns about 
  sorcery, or at least think that they know 
  something about it, the setting of your 
  campaign will swiftly and obviously diverge 
  from our world. The most common reaction 
  is that a great many people will be afraid 
  – seeing the dead walk will do that to 
  you. Laws against using magic will be 
  wildly popular, but so will the occasional 
  lynching of a known or suspected sorcerer. 
  Exactly how ugly this gets will depend, in 
  part, on what the public knows about CASE 
  NIGHTMARE GREEN. 
  None of this really matters if the characters 
  do not stop the end of the world. However, 
  if the characters succeed they could then 
  help to feed the public the idea that 
  monsters attempted to eat the planet but 
  a group of heroic government secret agent 
  sorcerers saved the world. The result of 
  this information coming out will be far 
  less ugly than if most people believe that 
  a group of crazy sorcerers messing about 
  with forbidden knowledge almost managed 
  to destroy the planet. Regardless of how 
  you treat this issue, you should make the 
  outcome depend a great deal on how the 
  characters act and what the public learns 
  of sorcerers from observing them.
  
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  five spells will take a bit of work but will be nothing that any 
  good computational sorcerer cannot manage. That is a lot 
  of power for area wards and similar protections and maybe 
  they will do the trick. Only time will tell. 
  GM Advice
  There are three primary ways to handle CASE 
  NIGHTMARE GREEN, the characters can prevent the 
  apocalypse, likely in the nick of time, the elder gods can 
  return and the characters can banish them shortly after their 
  arrival or the characters can learn to survive in a drastically 
  changed and far more hostile world. All three options are 
  discussed here. When deciding which option to choose, 
  or even when creating an entirely different option, one 
  important point to consider is tone. Some players prefer 
  relatively light-hearted scenarios where wise-cracking geeks 
  save the day, while other players enjoy grim and morally grey 
  campaigns where victory involves hard and ugly choices. 
  When running a set of scenarios about the possible end of 
  the world, you should make certain that your scenarios have 
  an overall tone that your players are comfortable with. 
  Preventing the Apocalypse
  The first and easiest option is to offer the characters some 
  way of saving the world by preventing CASE NIGHTMARE 
  GREEN from happening. To avoid this process being 
  exceptionally anti-climatic, the characters should see 
  evidence of just how bad things would have gotten if they 
  had failed – having an early and highly localised event, 
  where a brief appearance of an elder god devastates a small 
  city or large town would be a good way to show this. If York 
  or Aberdeen is now a twisted ruin, the characters know that 
  if they fail, the whole world ends up in the same shape, 
  while also possibly learning more about what the upcoming 
  apocalypse is like and how to stop it. In this campaign, there 
  should be many harbingers of the coming disaster, both to 
  ratchet up the tension and to provide clues on how to stop 
  it. Perhaps, there are brief periods where elder gods appear 
  in various locations but cannot actually enter our reality. 
  Another important part of having the characters prevent 
  CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN is that it cannot be too easy. 
  This is not something to be handled in a single game session 
  or even a single two to four session scenario. If possible, 
  you should start dropping hints and giving the characters 
  things to do for three or four full scenarios. One obvious 
  lead might be someone receiving a message from the long-
  term residents of the Funny Farm. The computations these 
  sorcerers are performing with their chess games are part of 
  some long-term, dangerous and seriously important project 
  and that might well be finding a way to prevent CASE 
  NIGHTMARE GREEN. 
  The exact details of what the characters need to do to 
  stop the monsters from coming home to roost should 
  in part depend upon your characters and the nature of 
  your campaign. One possible solution could be setting up 
  some sort of barrier that strengthens the barriers between 
  rUlES fOr rISING MAGIC
  As the power of computational (and 
  other forms of) sorcery increases, 
  it does not get any safer but it 
  does become easier. The easiest way 
  to model this is for the Base POW 
  available to all sorcerers to begin 
  to gradually increase. There will 
  be seven stages; +1 POW to +7 POW. 
  The GM must first decide how long 
  this time of rising magic takes. 
  If the period of rising takes seven 
  weeks from beginning to end, then 
  the POW of magic starts off at +1 
  and increases by an additional +1 
  per week, if it takes seven months, 
  then sorcerers add an additional 
  +1 POW every month. Then, a week, 
  or month or whatever equal length 
  of time after the +7 POW bonus has 
  been reached, CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN 
  occurs and all of that magical power 
  may well become utterly irrelevant.
  Moore’s law and Better Toys
  According to the best current 
  estimates, CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN is 
  not happening for at least three 
  or four years and that is three or 
  four years of faster processors, 
  more memory and niftier toys. This 
  changes the available technology 
  somewhat. Cutting edge gadgets like 
  the microdrone are how being sold 
  as expensive toys for rich people, 
  gecko suits are used by extreme 
  sports enthusiasts and more than a 
  few cat burglars and nausea flashes 
  (see pages 99-102 for information 
  on all three devices) are issued to 
  police all across the first world. 
  Also, both the new tech and various 
  software 
  improvements 
  affect 
  computational sorcery. Pre-written 
  sorcery apps on devices like the 
  latest model necronomiphone (see 
  page 96) can now duplicate level 
  one and level two spells. Also, 
  these same improvements mean that 
  the time needed to cast any spell 
  using a computer is reduced by 
  a factor of two. Of course, the 
  characters will need the help that 
  all this provides, because instead 
  of script kiddies and terrorists, 
  they will be dealing with monstrous 
  gods from beyond the rim of space. 
  CaSe nighTMare green
   
  ChapTer TwenTy-One
  
  238
  The Laundry
  dimensions, where the characters must travel the globe 
  setting up and calibrating various devices that link together 
  to accomplish this. They will simultaneously be fighting 
  crazed cultists and other enemies who will try to stop them. 
  Another option might be acquiring the components for an 
  inter-dimensional weapon. Once acquired, the characters 
  open a gate to the elder god’s dimension and send it 
  through, perhaps using a special bomber. Alternately, maybe 
  the key lies in the Sleeper in the Pyramid. Maybe destroying 
  or altering it can stop CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN. 
  Of course, to accomplish either goal, the characters must 
  acquire a weapon or device that can do what they need and 
  then travel to the twisted dimension where it waits behind 
  the Wall of Pain.
  It is also probably a good idea to not make this series of 
  scenarios the first thing the characters do. In addition to 
  letting the players get used to the setting, the rules and their 
  characters, having a number of unrelated scenarios first 
  means that the players will be more invested in preventing 
  the end of the setting they have been playing in for the last 
  few months. In any case, dropping a few early clues about 
  the coming of CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN will look 
  like really impressive foreshadowing when you actually get 
  to that series of scenarios. 
  Primary Opposition
  When the characters are working to prevent the end of 
  the world, a good question to ask yourself is who the heck 
  is going to be trying to stop them. One obvious answer 
  is various inter-dimensional nasties that manage to slip 
  through early and want to make certain that their boss, 
  or god, or whatever gets a chance to make its big debut. 
  However, a long series of monster hunts can quickly 
  become repetitive. Having human opponents is always 
  a good idea and there are likely to be a number of those. 
  First off, there are cultists. We have already seen cultists in 
  The Fuller Memorandum and when the end times get closer, 
  membership in such cults will increase as desperate people, 
  and people of dubious sanity, join up. A few of these people 
  may help the characters if they can be convinced that the 
  characters’ plan actually has a chance of working but most 
  cultists will either be sufficiently certain of their beliefs or 
  sufficiently attached to the idea of the end of the world that 
  they will fight the characters to the bitter end. Some of these 
  people will be sorcerers and many of the rest will have guns, 
  so they can be pretty tough, especially if they are getting 
  advice or aid from monsters from beyond the rim of space.
  The other obvious choices for opponents are members 
  of foreign occult and intelligence agencies. The Laundry 
  is clearly not the only agency preparing for CASE 
  NIGHTMARE GREEN and some of these plans are going 
  to conflict with one another. Perhaps the Chinese have a 
  plan to set up their own hyper-dimensional protection grid 
  across the globe and are convinced that their grid is better 
  and that the British defence grid will interfere with theirs. 
  Maybe the Russians are building a protective barrier around 
  Russia but want to stop all other efforts, because they 
  worry that they will interfere with the barrier around Russia 
  and they figure if theirs is the only protected nation the 
  monsters might be happy to just eat the rest of the world. 
  Maybe the Black Chamber is working with the Laundry 
  to help complete a worldwide defence grid, but the Black 
  Chamber does not want the defence grid triggered until 
  after the elder gods have been running loose for a few days. 
  Perhaps the people who run the Black Chamber believe that 
  this decision will reduce the world’s population to a more 
  manageable level, while also allowing the United States to 
  institute a more authoritarian government that fits better 
  with the Black Chamber’s view of how governments should 
  be run. Alternately, maybe one or more of these groups 
  are after the same ancient artefacts and lost tomes that the 
  characters are and as the end of the world approaches, no 
  one is inclined to share what they find. 
  A final option for opponents is BLUE HADES. The 
  characters will not be assigned to perform hostile acts against 
  BLUE HADES, but they could be asked to covertly extract 
  information from them. Perhaps the characters’ supervisor 
  knows that BLUE HADES have some method of dealing 
  with CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN and instructs the 
  characters to learn what these preparations are, in hopes 
  that the Laundry can use spells or devices derived from 
  these techniques to save humanity. One obvious first step is 
  to get to know some of the BLUE HADES half-breeds in 
  Dunwich and along the California coast. These half-breed 
  go-betweens may have some knowledge of the Deep One’s 
  plans for CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN, because they 
  will join the Deep Ones in whatever refuges or other plans 
  they have. Alternately, the half-breeds may not be saved by 
  the Deep Ones and thus are just as motivated to discover 
  the Deep One’s secrets as the characters. In the first case, 
  the characters must befriend, bribe or otherwise coerce at 
  least one half-breed into revealing the Deep One’s plans. 
  In the second case, the characters must convince at least 
  one half-breed to help them discreetly steal information 
  or artefacts from the Deep Ones. This scenario will likely 
  involve characters exploring highly secret undersea BLUE 
  HADES installations and sneaking past Deep Ones.
  The Ending Sorcery Endgame
  If stopping CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN from returning 
  is the end of the campaign, this option also offers a tidy 
  way to wrap up the campaign – by largely putting a stop 
  to sorcery use. Regardless of what the characters do to 
  stop the end of the world, their actions are likely to either 
  place a ward around the planet or to cause a large-scale 
  inter-dimensional disturbance. Either of these options 
  could also make inter-dimensional manipulations more 
  difficult. As a result, you might consider dropping the Base 
  POW of all types of sorcery by five. If this happens, the 
  Base POW of even the most powerful supercomputer is 
  no longer high enough to manage even a level one spell 
  without help. At this point, the likelihood of some console 
  game designer or amateur hacker accidentally reformatting 
  their neighbourhood or causing the residents of their local 
  cemetery to go out for a hungry stroll, drops from possible 
  to exceptionally unlikely and much of the reason for the 
  Laundry’s existence vanishes. 
  
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  There will still be rogue sorcerers and foreign occult 
  intelligence agencies to worry about, but they will also be 
  less powerful. The amateurs and all but the most serious 
  hobbyists will be out of business. At this point, any of 
  the characters who want to retire and return to the civilian 
  software industry can do so. They will still be bound by the 
  same silence geases and could be called up on reserve duty 
  in times of great need, but otherwise they can go back to 
  writing code and being annoyed by clueless civilian bosses 
  with unreasonable timetables. 
  Fighting Cthulhu
  Another equally good, but slightly more challenging, way 
  to deal with CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN is to have the 
  elder gods show up in all of their terrible many-angled glory. 
  When this happens, the characters are waiting for them with 
  deadly weapons and powerful spells readied to either blast 
  them into a haze of quarks and gluons or seal them in some 
  sort of hyper-dimensional bubble and toss them into some 
  ancient low energy universe for the next few million years. 
  In this scenario, many of the same events leading up to the 
  arrival of CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN will occur just 
  like they would in a series of scenarios about preventing 
  CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN from occurring at all. 
  However, instead of racing around attempting to ward the 
  Earth or whatever, the characters gather arcane information 
  and attempt to deliver it, along with stolen BLUE HADES 
  artefacts, and maybe a lost tome or two, into the hands of 
  the R&D branch, so that they can whip up a set of elder 
  god blasters.
  What happens next should depend largely upon the overall 
  feel and mood of your campaign. If your campaign is as 
  grim as the darkest bits of The Fuller Memorandum, then 
  the elder gods may appear elsewhere in the world, easily 
  defeat at least one other attempt to destroy them, destroy 
  several cities and kill millions of people. Then, they turn 
  their eyestalks to the UK, where the characters are waiting 
  for them and have just been handed their newly completed 
  weapons. When it is all over, the characters have a world 
  ravaged by destruction and as much as 90% of the world’s 
  population may be dead but the world is now safe. 
  For a somewhat gritty, but much less grim game, the 
  characters can show up no more than a few hours after the 
  elder gods arrive. The monsters have had a chance to start 
  ravaging a single city but, before the large-scale destruction 
  can begin, the characters blast them. This sort of campaign 
  has more of the feel of The Atrocity Archives. For a relatively 
  light-hearted campaign with a tome similar to The Jennifer 
  Morgue, then the R&D department gives the characters a 
  heads up as to where the elder gods are going to first appear 
  and the characters are waiting for them weapons drawn 
  and spells ready. If all goes well, other than some localised 
  destruction, everything and everyone is safe.
  This method of dealing with CASE NIGTHMARE 
  GREEN relies entirely upon the idea of the Laundry 
  coming up with a weapon, spell or some other means to 
  imprison or destroy the elder gods. To avoid making this 
  procedure anti-climactic, this weapon must be difficult to 
  acquire. Well before the final scenario, the characters will be 
  part of the Laundry’s effort to acquire the ancient tomes, 
  DEEP SEVEN artefacts, Black Chamber prototypes or 
  whatever else may be needed to complete the Laundry’s 
  weapon. See the previous discussion of running scenarios 
  about stopping CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN for further 
  discussion of handling globetrotting campaigns where the 
  characters seek to acquire the secrets and devices needed 
  to defeat the elder gods. In the course of these efforts, 
  the characters should also see evidence of the impending 
  horrors, while struggling to steal or otherwise acquire what 
  they need and attempting to defeat the cultists, enemy 
  operatives and monsters who are working to either stop 
  them or acquire the same artefacts.
  Once the characters have gathered the required information 
  or components and the R&D Department has had a chance 
  to make use of it, then it is time for the elder gods to return. 
  Even if the characters are waiting to defeat the elder gods 
  when they first appear, there should first be a few early 
  incidents to reveal just how scary a threat the characters are 
  facing. Perhaps a few city blocks in London are destroyed 
  as space begins to warp and rip a few days before the elder 
  gods’ return. 
  At this point, you are left with the unenviable task of 
  describing the elder gods themselves. Your best bet is not 
  to be too specific. These things are creatures from realms 
  where limited human senses literally cannot make sense of 
  the inhabitants and the elder gods drag a bit of their home 
  dimension along with them wherever they go. Looking at 
  them should likely result in a shifting parade of almost 
  random and heavily distorted images, as the characters’ 
  minds attempt to make sense of input that they cannot fully 
  process. You can more easily describe what the elder gods 
  do. Maybe one of them gestures with a pseudopod or limb, 
  or a synesthetic taste of direction and intention and a city 
  block goes dark. The lights go out, everyone inside becomes 
  a dry and shrivelled husk and when the characters check 
  later, every bit of recorded data in the affected area was 
  wiped clean and replaced by random bits – even on analog 
  recordings and in the pages of paper books. Meanwhile, any 
  matter, living or not, within 50 metres of the mind-twisting 
  elder gods, decays, liquefies, transforms into animated 
  flowers made of quartz or dissolves in an ever-changing 
  flux of energy and glowing dust. 
  Because the elder gods are specifically interested in 
  devouring humanity, they will not show up in rural areas 
  or small towns, they will appear in a large city or some 
  other dense concentration of people and will then work 
  their way from one such concentration of humanity to 
  another, destroying and feeding as they go. If the characters 
  execute their plan perfectly, it is likely that only a dozen 
  or so city blocks will be destroyed before they destroy or 
  banish CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN. If events do not 
  go as well, then the characters may only manage to win after 
  several square miles of dense urban area have been reduced 
  to ruins and tens of thousands of people killed. However, 
  if the characters succeed, the elder gods and their tainted 
  CaSe nighTMare green
   
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  The Laundry
  dimension vanish. The dead and the destroyed landscape 
  remains, but humanity is safe. 
  Survival Amidst Chaos  
  The grimmest way to handle CASE NIGHTMARE 
  GREEN, and in many ways the least fitting with the tone 
  of the novels, is an answer that owes a great deal to survival 
  horror console games. The elder gods return, hundreds of 
  millions of people die, but pockets of civilisation survive 
  amidst the ruins. In this desperate world, the operatives of 
  the Laundry remain as the brave defenders of the surviving 
  portions of the UK. Perhaps all the Laundry could manage 
  was creating huge wards that protected London and a few 
  other large cities. Alternately, maybe there turns out to be 
  no reliable defence against the elder gods themselves, who 
  are gradually eating the populace of the world, but they 
  have so far mostly ignored the UK, and wards and skilled 
  sorcerers have kept the various scavengers like the feeders 
  in the night at bay. 
  Scenarios that use this answer will be exceptionally grim and 
  dark and that sort of thing most definitely is not for everyone. 
  The overall tone of the campaign is much like a far nastier 
  version of a John Le Carre novel, where the characters work 
  in the shadows to keep horrors at bay for at least a while 
  longer. In this sort of setting, Laundry personnel could use 
  powerful computational sorcery to lure approaching elder 
  gods away from large pockets of survivors, leave warded 
  areas to travel the unprotected British countryside carrying 
  valuable packages between cities or help to destroy armies 
  of the walking dead. However, this is a very different genre 
  with very different characters from the Laundry novels 
  and so exploring it more fully is beyond the scope of this 
  chapter. 
  However, there is one especially grim possibility to consider 
  when contemplating this version of events. If the elder gods 
  show up, nothing can banish or destroy them and no wards 
  can keep them out, then humanity is ultimately doomed. 
  The process may take a few months or even several years, 
  but it ultimately ends with the extinction of humanity. This 
  is a very real possibility for CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN 
  and one perfectly reasonable, if exceptionally grim, option 
  for the end of a Laundry campaign.
  ACCElErATING fACTOrS
  Recent research suggests that as 
  we approach CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN, 
  the weakening of the fabric of 
  reality means that human belief 
  becomes more of a factor. As long 
  as we don’t believe in demons and 
  monsters, we have a measure of 
  protection. Unfortunately, as soon 
  as the horrors start slithering 
  it, this protection unravels. If 
  some of the great unwashed learn 
  that monsters are real, then they 
  stop disbelieving, making it easier 
  for more things to manifest. More 
  manifestations means more evidence 
  and sightings, which means more 
  disbelief, which means even more 
  monsters – it’s a feedback loop.
  This means that keeping knowledge 
  of the truth from the general 
  population is even more important. 
  The longer we keep them in ignorance, 
  the longer we keep them alive.
  
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  22 GoInG down 
  To dunwhICh
  Dunwich is an old village, hoary and grim and stinking of 
  fish. Most of it has sunk beneath the waves, as the cliffs 
  crumble away a little each year and more of the shore is 
  eaten by the tide. When the waves are high, it is said that you 
  can hear the bells tolling in the deeps. Not church bells, of 
  course – the people here trafficked with the Deep Ones in 
  centuries past and there are still a few villagers who have the 
  pallid flesh and vestigial gill-slits of their ancestors. When 
  the Ministry took over the village in the ‘40s, they shipped 
  everyone who lived in Dunwich and the neighbouring 
  hamlets to an internment camp. Some of them were allowed 
  back in later years, under certain conditions, as a good-faith 
  gesture to their watery cousins offshore. 
  Today, Dunwich is one of the Laundry’s training facilities. 
  You can run this mission for brand-new recruits, as their 
  introduction to the Laundry or as a refresher course for 
  experienced characters. It is especially good for players 
  who are not familiar with the Laundry setting, as various key 
  concepts get explained in-character. 
  The Estranged Order of  Dagon
  For centuries, the Deep Ones used human and half-human 
  emissaries on land. Their church, the Esoteric Order of 
  Dagon, worshipped the Deep Ones. As religions go, it 
  had its advantages; it genuinely could offer immortality 
  or a squamous aquatic version anyway. The cult spread 
  beyond the coastal communities where it originated. The 
  high priests of the Order arranged for holy visitations and 
  offered sacrifices to the Deep Ones… and then, suddenly, 
  they were cast aside. The Benthic Treaty limited BLUE 
  HADES’ involvement on the surface and the church was 
  no longer needed for their plans.
  Cultists are the sort of stable, balanced people who respond 
  well to rejection. They blamed the Laundry for taking their 
  fishy gods away. For years, the Esoteric Order has tried to 
  re-establish its primacy in human/Deep One relations by 
  contacting the Deep Ones or by destroying the ‘usurpers’.
  The Cultists
  Despite the Laundry’s vetting procedures, a new recruit 
  at Dunwich is an Esoteric Order cultist, on a mission to 
  prove the church’s devotion to the Deep Ones by sacrificing 
  Laundry officers. This assassin is Bernard Coldfield; the 
  Order arranged for him to be caught by the Laundry two 
  weeks ago. It is important to throw suspicion away from 
  Bernard during the early stages of the mission – convince 
  the players that he is just there for comic relief. However, 
  Coldfield is a fanatic and a murderer – he will do anything 
  to complete his holy mission for the Esoteric Order. If 
  that means turning on the Player Characters and trying to 
  murder them, so be it.
  The Laundry has a deep-cover spy within the Esoteric 
  Order, a cultist named Edward Allen. He was never the 
  most reliable of sources, but did pass on a limited amount 
  of useful information about cult activities to his Laundry 
  handler, Tim Shears. In this case, though, the handler 
  dismissed Allen’s claims about EOD assassins infiltrating 
  Dunwich as the spy was unable to provide proof. Allen 
  took matters into his own hands and set off for Dunwich. 
  He – or rather, his corpse – shows up half-way through the 
  training course.
  Running The Mission
  There are two main plotlines in this mission – the training 
  course and the EOD assassin. The training course plot 
  runs itself, as all the players need to do is pay attention. 
  The assassin is more problematic; the GM should watch 
  for opportunities for Coldfield to act. For example, if one 
  character wanders away from the group, then Coldfield 
  could stalk him and attempt an impromptu ritual sacrifice.
   
  going down 
  To dunwich
  ‘I’m goin’ down to Dunwich/Please do not bother waiting up.’ 
       — The Darkest of  the Hillside Thickets
  ‘There are no roads in or out of Dunwich; the Ministry of Defence took over the entire village back in 1940 and 
  redirected the local lanes, erasing it from the map and from the collective consciousness of Norfolk as if it never 
  existed. Ramblers are repulsed by the thick hedges that surround us on two sides and the cliff that protects its 
  third flank. When the Laundry inherited Dunwich from MI5, they added subtle wards; anyone approaching 
  cross-country will begin to develop a deep sense of unease a mile or so outside the perimeter. As it is, the only 
  way in or out is by boat – and our watery friends will take care of any unwelcome visitors smaller than a nuclear 
  submarine.’
  — The Atrocity Archives
   
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  1. Getting To Dunwich
  New Laundry recruits who are potential line offices are 
  sent to Dunwich within a few days of recruitment, to give 
  them a basic grounding in computational demonology and 
  tradecraft (and to give them a chance to gibber and freak out 
  away from prying eyes). Experienced officers get sent back 
  to Dunwich for refresher courses every few years or when 
  their department has some money in the training budget 
  that has to be spent immediately. Either way, the journey to 
  Dunwich begins with a train journey (second-class ticket, 
  please retain ticket stubs and receipts for accounting) to 
  Great Yarmouth. 
  At the station, the characters are met by a slovenly-looking 
  man with a balding pate and alarmingly bulbous eyes. He 
  clutches a grubby sign marked CAPITAL LAUNDRY 
  SERVICES. ‘This way,’ he croaks, ‘bus is waiting’, and 
  he leads the characters out to a small, rusted and mud-
  splattered minibus. In addition to the characters, there is 
  one more passenger, a nervous-looking fellow dressed in 
  what is obviously a brand-new but very cheap suit. Once 
  everyone is in their seats, the bus starts rattling down the 
  road.
  The characters have a chance to talk while on the bus. Their 
  fellow passenger introduces himself as Bernie. He is really 
  not sure what is going on – he was working in a New Age 
  bookshop up until a week ago. His boss abruptly left him 
  in charge and then half an hour later the door was smashed 
  down by the police – at least, they said they were the police 
  – and he was arrested. He sat around in detention for a day 
  and then some strange man with a very odd ID card came 
  and asked him if he would prefer amnesia or a civil service 
  job. He picked the job and they sent him here. Play Bernie 
  for laughs at this stage; he has no idea that there really are 
  occult powers out there.
  The driver ignores everyone. If anyone tries to talk to him, 
  he just grunts and mutters ‘wait ‘til the village.’
  The Boat
  After an hour’s drive, the bus pulls into a nameless cove with 
  a small concrete jetty, where a small motorboat waits. The 
  driver gestures for everyone to pile into the boat. ‘Only way 
  to Dunwich is by sea. Can’t get through the woods, can’t get 
  up the cliffs. All closed.’ On board, there are old lifejackets 
  that smell strongly of fish; one of the jackets is splattered 
  with old bloodstains and what looks remarkably like a bullet 
  hole. Once everyone is on board, the boat laboriously chugs 
  out of the cove and along the coast. Bernie is instantly 
  seasick.
  The boat trip is mercifully short. After a few minutes, 
  the boat comes around a crumbling, sandy cliff and the 
  characters see an oddly choppy stretch of sea. The characters 
  can glimpse shapes under the water – drowned buildings 
  and treacherous rocks – and moving among those shapes 
  are other shapes. The bus driver reaches over the side of the 
  boat to trail his hand in the water and something thumps 
  twice against the keel. ‘They don’t mind us’ he announces 
  and the boat heads towards Dunwich village. 
  The characters get a good look at the village as the boat 
  approaches. It is two rows of ramshackle old cottages 
  running down to the sea; there is a large farmhouse atop 
  the hill, looking down at the village. There are also several 
  prefabricated buildings in various states of repair in the 
  surrounding fields, a three-storey building that looks like a 
  hostel and what looks like a weather station on the hill near 
  the big farmhouse. The whole place looks damp and dull, 
  like a holiday camp in the rain. The one potential bright spot 
  is the pub, the Dog and Whistle.
  The motorboat pulls up to another jetty. Waiting there is a 
  woman dressed in a parka jacket and carrying a clipboard. 
  She introduces herself as Leah Poisson and checks the 
  characters’ names off on her clipboard. Her forced 
  enthusiasm is only slightly dampened by the rain. The 
  characters’ shoes, though, are thoroughly dampened by the 
  time she leads them off the jetty and through the village to 
  the Monkfish Motel, the three-storey building they glimpsed 
  from the shore. (Anyone who glances back is treated to the 
  delightful sight of the corpulent bus driver stripping naked, 
  before wading into the icy water.)
  ‘Welcome to the Village,’ announces Leah, ‘we’ve got a full 
  schedule for you, so no slacking. We’ll get you settled in 
  the dormitory and let you have a cup of tea, then there is 
  an orientation briefing and some paperwork before dinner.’
  After stowing their belongings at the Monkfish Motel, the 
  characters are called to one of the prefab buildings for their 
  introduction and orientation meeting.
  2. Dunwich 
  Dunwich is a village of some 40 permanent residents 
  and a variable number of visitors depending on the time 
  of year, the Laundry training schedule and the availability 
  of certain specialist staff. The village is surrounded to the 
  west and north by thick hedges and overgrown woodland, 
  supplemented by wards. To the south, the steep shore 
  becomes a sandstone cliff. The town is cut off from the 
  phone service and the national grid – communications run 
  through the satellite uplink at the farmhouse and power is 
  provided by a balky army surplus diesel generator. Most 
  houses have gas cylinders for cooking and heating.
  The Monkfish Motel
  The Monkfish Motel feels like a cross between a youth 
  hostel and a cheap conference centre. There are peeling 
  MoD posters exhorting staff not to discuss operational 
  matters and a lot of landscape photos. The canteen is 
  mostly closed when the PCs arrive but there is an industrial-
  sized tea-maker and a plate of limp sandwiches. Upstairs, 
  the rooms are functional and smell of sweat and fish. The 
  characters are billeted two to a room, so someone may end 
  up sharing with Coldfield. 
  
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  The Dog & Whistle
  The Dog & Whistle is Dunwich’s only pub, overlooking the 
  harbour. The linoleum floor peels and is oddly sticky in 
  places, the cushioned seats lost their stuffing sometime in 
  the early 1980s and the brew tastes salty, but it is as close 
  as Dunwich gets to nightlife. On Fridays, when there are 
  enough Laundry trainees in town, there is a disco. SAN loss 
  for seeing a Deep One hybrid boogying to Abba is 0/1d3.
  Village Store
  There is a local shop for local people, which sells basic 
  necessities like food, along with army surplus clothing and 
  supplies. Laundry personnel rarely shop here; the owners 
  stare unblinkingly at non-locals until they leave.
  The Order Hall
  This was the chapel of the Esoteric Order before the MoD 
  took over the village. Now, it is used for thaumaturgical 
  experiments and rituals by the Laundry. From the outside, 
  the characters can see the ornate windows and curious 
  carvings that decorate the building but the front door is 
  magically warded. There is a warning sign on the door – NO 
  ADMITTANCE! DANGER! 
  The current staff researcher is Dr. Meredith Holmes, who 
  is attempting to unravel the secrets of BLUE HADES 
  sorcery. She is obsessed with her work and has come to 
  admire the Deep Ones more than she should. 
  The Farmhouse
  The old farmhouse was once the home of the head of 
  the local Order (he was also the mayor, the owner of the 
  village’s fishing fleet and the post-master); today, it is the 
  home of the village administrator, a Laundry officer called 
  Mr. Grogan. He has been assigned to the Dunwich desk 
  for 20 years now and he has gone native. There is no sign 
  of his wife, but the sullen teenagers who squat around the 
  farmhouse playing console games have the same bulbous 
  eyes as the locals. 
  The Research Labs
  The research complex is located to the north of the village, 
  out of sight. It is another tangle of prefabs, including a small 
  boathouse and some complicated-looking sonar equipment 
  trailing into the water. Divers go out from the labs several 
  times a week.
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  The Laundry
  3. Orientation
  Inside the unheated prefab, Leah the HR official gives the 
  characters a basic introduction to the Laundry. Experienced 
  characters are bored by this; new recruits and Coldfield may 
  feel slightly shell-shocked.
  ‘The Laundry dates back to the Second World War, when we used to 
  be part of  the Special Operations Executive. Now, we’re a parallel 
  organisation to the Security Service, providing OCCINTEL and 
  counter-possession services to HM Government. Dr. Holmes will give 
  you a briefing in thaumaturgy tomorrow morning before the Survival 
  and Evasion course. 
  In the 1940s, researchers discovered a way to reliably perform what 
  most people would call ‘magic’ using computer programs. Sorcery 
  became repeatable and portable and was, therefore, classified as a state 
  secret. As Laundry officers, your role is to investigate and contain 
  occult incidents and ensure that no-one does anything that might 
  adversely impact on reality as we know it. High-priority targets are 
  terrorists, hostile foreign powers, cultists, monsters and hostile non-
  human entities. Lower-priority targets are civilians who’ve stumbled 
  across some occult principles, non-hostile entities, monitoring and 
  surveillance, research and so on. 
  It is all in the vision statement, I have a copy around here somewhere… 
  anyway, that’s basically what we do.
  Now, you’re all here because you’ve applied for or been tagged as a 
  potential for field work. If  you’re representing the Laundry, you need 
  to keep the following in mind. Firstly, timekeeping…’
  If the players are not familiar with the concepts, then 
  introduce the warrant card, Section III of the Official 
  Secrets Act, the legal standing of Laundry officers and 
  geasing, along with more important topics like budgeting, 
  appropriate office dress, filling out timesheets and matrix 
  management. Let the players ask questions about how 
  the Laundry works. Leah tries to maintain her plastic 
  enthusiasm throughout the briefing (she used to work in 
  corporate sales), but when the rain starts bucketing down 
  against the windows, even her attention begins to wander.
  After the orientation briefing, Leah produces a stack of 
  paperwork. There are a lot of waivers and other forms 
  for the characters to fill out. Call for a Bureaucracy roll; if 
  successful, the characters notice that Leah gives one extra 
  form to Coldfield and to any other new recruits. This form 
  is written in a strange language (Enochian); it is part of the 
  Laundry loyalty oath, binding those who sign it to service. 
  Coldfield is oddly hesitant about signing it. If called on this, 
  he admits that he does not like to sign anything that he does 
  not understand.
  Going through the forms takes another hour, by which 
  time the shades of night are falling fast. It is back to the 
  Monkfish canteen for dinner (fish stew). Leah tells them 
  that they are free to do whatever they want after dinner, but 
  there is not much to do in Dunwich. They are not to go 
  beyond the boundaries of the village for safety reasons. She 
  suggests the pub.  
  Skill Improvements: Attending the course is worth a 
  checkmark for Bureaucracy.
  The Dunwich Nightlife
  The characters have the rest of the evening to amuse 
  themselves, as best they can. Coldfield excuses himself and 
  goes to take a walk around town after dinner. What do the 
  characters do?
  Go To The Pub: Down at the Dog & Whistle are half-a-dozen 
  Laundry staff at one table and a trio of locals at another. 
  Leah introduces the characters to Sergeant Trevor Laine, 
  who will be conducting their training course tomorrow. 
  Sergeant Laine gruffly acknowledges the characters, but is 
  more interested in the pint in front of him and the match 
  on the pub’s small television set. 
  After a while, the bartender turns on the disco lights and 
  hits play on ‘I Can’t Believe That’s Called Music VII’. 
  Talk to People: The locals are squamous and unwelcoming. 
  The characters can talk to Leah, but she would really prefer 
  to talk about anything other than work and cautions the 
  characters about discussing operational matters openly – 
  you never know who is listening. The characters can try 
  getting Sergeant Laine to open up but unless the person 
  talking to him is ex-military or especially charming, the 
  sergeant communicates mainly in monosyllables. 
  The characters can get the history of Dunwich, rumours 
  about the Laundry and strange tales of the sea.
  Follow Coldfield: Paranoid players might follow Coldfield 
  – but to do that, they must make a Stealth check to 
  creep after him without being noticed. If successful, the 
  characters can trail Coldfield as he wants. He initially heads 
  around the back of the village, to approach the Order Hall 
  from the rear. He seems surprised when he discovers that 
  the hall is still occupied and after listening at the back door 
  for a few minutes, he turns and trudges down the slope to 
  the shore. He spends another while staring out to sea in 
  the rain, muttering to himself. A successful difficult Listen 
  roll notes that Coldfield’s mutterings are in some strange 
  language that the character does not recognise.
  Wander Around The Village: See the sights of Dunwich. 
  Well, the sight. The only notable building at night is the 
  Order Hall – there are still lights on in the windows, as Dr. 
  Holmes continues her private research. Characters lurking 
  outside the hall hear weird chanting and the crackle of 
  electricity and the occasional otherworldly howl as entities 
  phase in and out of our reality. 
  Go To Bed: And dream of swimming through the deep 
  ocean and of titanic sunken porticos and labyrinths of 
  weedy cyclopean walls with grotesque fishes…
  
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  4. Theory and Practice
  The next morning, a somewhat hung-over Leah greets 
  the characters in the canteen and introduces them to Dr. 
  Meredith Holmes. Dr. Holmes looks equally haggard – she 
  was working for most of the night and clutches her coffee 
  like a life preserver. After a stodgy breakfast, Holmes brings 
  the characters down to the old Order hall for the morning’s 
  lecture in practical magic. She pauses at the door and points 
  to the heavy brass handle. ‘This is an example of  a defensive ward. 
  Come close and put your hand near the brass, but make sure you do 
  not touch it.’ Anyone who does so feels a strange sensation, as 
  if little arcs of electricity were leaping from handle to hand. 
  ‘The ward is keyed to myself  and a few others. If  anyone else touches it, 
  it renders them unconscious. Probably.’ She opens the door.
  Computational Demonology
  Inside the Esoteric Order hall, the characters can spend a 
  moment admiring (or consciously and deliberately ignoring) 
  the complex arabesques that decorate the walls. The room 
  was clearly once some sort of church, but the pews have 
  been replaced with folding chairs and the altar is now a 
  worktop. Around the sides of the room are Dr. Holmes’ 
  experiments, most of which are unremarkable. A desktop 
  PC runs in one corner; there is also something under a 
  big tarpaulin in the opposite corner. Call for Insight rolls 
  at this point; if successful, the characters notice that Dr. 
  Holmes is visibly irritated by having to give this course and 
  that Bernard Coldfield is trying to control his emotions, 
  although whether he feels revulsion, anger or fear is hard to 
  tell. Either way, he is upset about something.
  Dr. Holmes launches into her lecture immediately. If 
  your players are familiar with how magic works in the 
  Laundryverse, you can skip over her monologue; otherwise 
  let the players ask questions and learn the basics of sorcery.
  ‘Good morning. I understand this is a course for laymen, so I shall 
  dispense with most of  the mathematics. If  you’re interested in the 
  technical side, I would recommend The Art of Computer 
  Programming, Volume IV and Implications of the Turing 
  Hypothesis in an Everett-Wheeler Cosmology as starting 
  points. Now, our universe is just one of  many, most of  which obey 
  quite different physical laws to ours. Under normal circumstances, 
  there is no way to reach these other universes. 
  However, all universes share what we term the platonic realm of  
  mathematics. By performing the proper calculations in this universe, 
  we draw what is termed a Dho-Na curve. This curve can be perceived 
  in other universes, establishing a link between the two through pure 
  mathematics. Then, with the application of  energy, we can call forth 
  entities from other realities or compel them to alter our reality in semi-
  predictable ways. 
  This is what you could call real magic. 
  Now, when your average clueless devil-worshipping cult calls up 
  a ‘demon’, they probably do so with a magic circle drawn in blood, 
  buckets of  human sacrifices, a lot of  tedious chanting and a significant 
  risk of  madness or brain damage. It is tremendously inefficient for 
  various reasons, but primarily because the human brain isn’t very good 
  at generating Dho-Na curves. 
  Enter the computer. In 1940, Alan Turing discovered a method 
  for… well, I said I would leave out the mathematics. Suffice it to say, 
  it became possible to calculate the requisite curves in near-real-time. 
  Magic became a science – repeatable, optimisable, perfectible. 
  As field officers, you will encounter many different forms of  
  supernatural power, but they all stem from the same root. One, a 
  calculation is performed; two, that calculation generates a Dho-Na 
  curve; three, energy is applied to activate the curve; four, something 
  from another universe affects or enters this one.
  We shall shortly demonstrate this, but first, there are some safety 
  precautions.’
  She opens a desk drawer and takes out a handful of amulets. 
  She hands one to each character. The amulets are ugly little 
  lumps of metal that tingle when they touch the skin. There 
  is a serial number stamped on the back of each amulet. 
  ‘These are level two wards. Please place the ward around your neck 
  and ensure it is in contact with your skin. Wards protect you against 
  harmful spells. If  the ward becomes more uncomfortable to wear, it 
  is actively protecting you. If  you can no longer feel the ward, or if  it 
  suddenly cracks, then it is exhausted and you are vulnerable.’
  Once everyone has a ward on, Dr. Holmes lifts a heavy 
  metal pentacle up onto the workbench. She also produces 
  a smaller metal circle, about the size of a saucer and a few 
  electronic gizmos such as a battery pack, some sort of 
  circuit board and a pair of big heavy switches. She plugs the 
  items together. 
  Pointing to the pentacle, she says ‘This is a containment pentacle. 
  When charged, it keeps exonomes – creatures from another universe 
  – from crossing it. The pentacle will protect us from whatever we 
  summon.’
  Next, the smaller circle. ‘This is a summoning grid. Here we shall 
  summon an entity to be contained within the pentacle. It is attached 
  to this circuit board here, which is preprogrammed to summon or 
  banish depending on the setting of  this dip switch here. I shall set it 
  to summon mode.’
  When everything is ready, she checks the wards one last 
  time, then flicks the switch to power on the pentacle. 
  Nothing happens. She flicks the second switch, activating 
  the summoning grid and the air about the magic circle 
  shimmers. Something that glows a bilous green, a thing that 
  looks a little like a fractal and a little like a writhing octopus 
  pushes its way though into our reality and hangs in the air. 
  ‘This is a level two exonome. Comparatively harmless, in the grand 
  scheme of  things. It is important for you to understand what ‘harmless’ 
  means in this context. If  it were not for the containment pentacle and 
  the protective wards, this creature would immediately try to possess 
  one of  us. In a few seconds, it would penetrate your nervous system 
  and take over your body. It would then attempt to spread, to take over 
  more bodies. A mass outbreak of  possession spreads like a plague and 
  is just as lethal. Imagine if  one of  these entities got loose in central 
  London – there would be hundreds of  thousands of  victims within 
  hours. 
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  The Laundry
  Fortunately, in this case, the creature is contained, and we are protected. 
  And just as easily as we called it up’ she flips the dip switch on 
  the circuit board, changing it from ‘summon’ to ‘banish’ – 
  ‘we can send it away.’ The writhing thing squeals, then vanishes 
  back to whence it came. She powers down the summoning 
  grid, waits a moment, then deactivates the containment 
  pentacle. She then asks one of the PCs to collect the wards.
  ‘This particular setup is an antique – you could do everything I’ve 
  demonstrated with a smartphone. Still, it is a useful illustration of  
  the basic principles.
  Holmes answers any other questions the characters have 
  about magic. She is especially interested in the sorcery of 
  other civilisations; if possible, work in a reference to the 
  Deep Ones and how they are vastly wiser and more advanced 
  than humanity. Play her as a spooky and untrustworthy 
  sorcerer. 
  Skill Improvement: Attending the lecture is worth a 
  checkmark for Science (Thaumaturgy).
  Survival and Evasion
  After the briefing on sorcery, there is a knock at the door 
  of the hall. Dr. Holmes opens it and Sergeant Laine enters. 
  ‘Right, you lot. Basic survival and evasion course starts in 30 minutes. 
  Grab something to eat, meet me back here. Move’. Coldfield glances 
  back towards the hall but obeys. 
  Play Sergeant Laine as a no-nonsense drill instructor. He 
  dislikes the Laundry but he is gritting his teeth and doing 
  his duty by being here. 
  Laine leads the characters up to a small shooting range 
  behind the village. ‘This’, he announces, ‘is a Glock 17. 
  Standard sidearm of  CO19, the Met’s firearms unit, and also the 
  standard firearm issued to Laundry officers. Here is how you use it. 
  You check the safety here, and then you stick the bloody thing in your 
  pocket and you phone the professionals. If  you actually have to fire a 
  gun in the line of  duty, then someone has fucked up royally and it is 
  probably you.
  Right. Any of  you fired a handgun before?’
  Take this opportunity to run through the combat rules with 
  your players, describing initiative, attack rolls, damage and 
  so on. Any character who makes a successful Easy Firearms 
  (Pistol) roll hits the target; anyone who succeeds at a 
  Firearms (Pistol) roll hits the bullseye.
  After basic firearms training, Laine shows the characters 
  basic stealth techniques; how to shadow someone, how to 
  spot and loose a tail, how to avoid being seeing, how to 
  disguise yourself, making a brush contact or surreptitiously 
  dropping an item for collection. 
  Next, it is off to the woods for more survival training. ‘Right. 
  Fitness test. See the top of  that cliff? Run. Last one back to the village 
  buys the rest a round. Move!’ Laine returns to the village, leaving 
  the characters to run off into the gathering gloom. 
  The run to the top of the cliff and back takes about half 
  an hour for a fit character. Call for Stamina rolls (or, if a 
  character has an appropriate skill, an Easy Athletics roll); 
  any characters that get roughly similar results are travelling 
  at roughly similar speeds. Not all the characters will spot 
  Allen’s body – in which case, you should consider taking 
  the players who found Allen’s body aside and running the 
  scene with them privately, to build paranoia. Coldfield 
  proves surprisingly fit and will probably overtake most of 
  the Player Characters. 
  Skill Improvement: Attending the course gives a 
  checkmark for Firearms (Pistol).
  5. The Body
  While the characters are running up the cliff path, call for 
  Spot checks. Any character who succeeds spots something 
  in the undergrowth – a body. 
  Lying in the undergrowth is the corpse of  a middle-aged man, dressed 
  like a hiker. He is clutching a map in one hand, and the other fist is 
  wrapped around something so tightly that you can see trails of  dried 
  blood on his wrist. His face is contorted in an expression of  terror.
  This is the corpse of Edward Allen, the Laundry’s mole 
  in the Esoteric Order. When his handler in the Laundry 
  refused to believe his reports about an assassin in Dunwich, 
  Allen set off for the village himself. He managed to make 
  it through the defensive wards using a talisman stolen from 
  the Dagonites, but the last line of magical protection was 
  too much for him and caused a heart attack. He has been 
  dead for six hours when the PCs find him.
  Searching the body turns up several clues:
  	 A driver’s licence, bank cards and credit cards in the 
  name of Edward Allen.
  	 A stub of a bus ticket to the nearest village to Dunwich.
  	 A small, cheaply printed book entitled The Ocean of  
  Souls: Embracing Dagon and the New You, which describes 
  how to overcome your emotional problems and find 
  spiritual fulfilment through worshipping fishy gods.
  	 Two mobile phones. One phone has all his phone 
  numbers and text messages on it. The other mobile 
  has apparently only ever been used to call one number, 
  a landline number in London. The first mobile was 
  Allen’s personal phone; the second was used only to 
  call his Laundry contact. 
  	 A map, with the location of Dunwich marked in pencil
  The last few text messages on the first mobile are 
  illuminating:
  Pastor Grey: R U coming 2morrow?
  Allen: Can’t. On holiday.
  Pastor Grey: Did U take other talisman?
  Allen: No. 
  Pastor Grey: Liar! Curse of Dagon upon U. UR deth shall 
  b slow n painful as true god devours UR soul. Ia ia c. ia ia 
  dagon. 
  
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  22 GoInG down 
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  A successful Medicine check confirms that he died of a 
  heart attack. Unwrapping his hand reveals an amulet that 
  reminds the characters of the decorations in the Order Hall 
  in the village. The amulet is cracked down the middle and 
  is icy cold to the touch. An Easy Science (Thaumaturgy) or 
  Occult roll suggests that this amulet must be a ward, like the 
  ones the characters wore during Dr. Holmes’ experiment.
  Calling The Laundry
  If the characters dial the nameless number in the second 
  mobile phone, it rings three times and then a neutral voice 
  answers. ‘Capital Laundry Services, how may I help you?’ It has 
  gone through to the Laundry switchboard. If the characters 
  explain where they got the phone, the operator transfers 
  them to a Laundry officer named Tim Shears, in the 
  Monitoring section. He was Edward Allen’s handler. 
  Shears has just fucked up and he realised it the instant the 
  characters contacted him. He disregarded Allen’s warning, 
  which means he may have let the Esoteric Order sneak an 
  assassin – or more than one – into Dunwich. All he can do 
  is salvage the situation, which means relying on the PCs.
  ‘Allen was a Laundry mole inside the EOD for six years. A month 
  ago, he came to me with a story that the EOD were planning some sort 
  of  ritual attack on the Laundry, and that Dunwich was involved. He 
  didn’t have any proof, other than what he’d overheard, and the threat 
  wasn’t credible. It seems that Mr. Allen was sufficiently convinced to 
  risk his life… which does not mean he was right.
  We need to identify the EOD assassin, if  there is one. He said that 
  the assassin was a trainer at Dunwich, and the timeframe suggests that 
  your group are the targets. Until this is resolved, we can’t trust anyone 
  in Dunwich, not even security. I’ll get the Plumbers ready to move, but 
  we need to catch the assassin and any accomplices red-handed. Identify 
  the assassin if  you can, and stay on guard. Contact me on this number 
  if  you find anything.’
  Coldfield and the Body
  Coldfield only notices the body if the characters point it out 
  to him. His initial reaction is one of surprise – he recognises 
  Allen from the Esoteric Order meetings. He covers his 
  surprise by pretending to be shocked. He then strongly 
  suggests that the characters follow Tim Shears’ instructions 
  and search for evidence that one of the training staff is the 
  assassin. If the characters are focussed on the trainers and 
  do not tell anyone else about the message from Shears, then 
  Coldfield is free to act.
  6. Investigation
  There are several courses of action available to the 
  characters at this point:
  •	
  Finish the run: Sergeant Laine is still waiting 
  for the characters to complete the run up to the 
  clifftop. The last characters to make it back have 
  to buy drinks for the rest. Emphasise Laine’s 
  aggression and toughness; make it seem like he is 
  intimidating or bullying the characters.
  •	
  Inform the Dunwich authorities: Supervisor 
  Grogan is the obvious person to talk to. He claims 
  that Dr. Holmes and Leah Poisson have been 
  Dunwich staff for some time, but that Sergeant 
  Laine only arrived two weeks before the characters. 
  He denies any involvement with the Esoteric 
  Order; his devotion to fish is purely secular. 
   
  •	
  Investigate Leah Poisson: She is staying in the 
  Monkfish Motel; characters can break into her 
  room and search her belongings. She has an awful 
  lot of expensive cosmetics in one bag and at the 
  bottom of that bag is a sheaf of papers relating to 
  her family history. It seems that Ms. Poisson has 
  an ancestor who may have come from Dunwich in 
  the early 20th Century; she worries that she carries 
  the Innsmouth taint and that her time in Dunwich 
  will trigger a transformation. While off duty in 
  Dunwich, she questions several of the locals, 
  asking them if they remember a Cecil Poisson 
  who left Dunwich in 1934. She is ashamed and 
  fearful at the thought of becoming a Deep One, 
  so she tries to hide her dealings with the locals 
  from the Laundry.
  •	
  Investigate Sergeant Laine: Searching Laine’s 
  room turns up a rather suspicious-looking knife, 
  which could be a sacrificial dagger. An Appraise 
  or Knowledge (Anthropology) roll reveals that the 
  dagger is a souvenir from Afghanistan and has no 
  obvious ritual connotations. Whilst in Dunwich, 
  Laine keeps to himself and spends most of his 
  time in the Dog & Whistle.
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  SOMEBODY ElSE’S PrOBlEM
  In playtesting, one group of players 
  decided that because they were in 
  Dunwich ‘on holiday’, the whole 
  thing was somebody else’s problem. 
  They discovered the body and called 
  Sergeant Laine over immediately. 
  The mobile phones got handed over 
  to Mr. Grogan without the Player 
  Characters ever hearing about the 
  Dagonist assassin.
  If 
  your 
  players 
  take 
  this 
  approach, then you can skip the 
  whole ‘investigation’ section of 
  the mission. A bureaucratic turf 
  war erupts between Grogan and 
  Shears, with both blaming the 
  other for a potential breach of 
  security. Grogan’s security forces 
  concentrate 
  on 
  investigating 
  existing Dunwich staff and miss 
  Coldfield completely. 
  
  248
  The Laundry
  •	
  Investigate Dr. Holmes: Dr. Holmes is part of 
  the research staff and so has a room in one of the 
  prefabs outside the Village, not in the Monkfish 
  Motel. The prefabs are guarded at night by a 
  zombie watchman, who is under instructions to 
  incapacitate anyone who approaches the research 
  area without displaying a warrant card. Holmes 
  spends little time with the other researchers, 
  preferring to keep working in the lab in the Order 
  Hall at all hours of the day and night. Under the 
  tarpaulin in the lab is a statue of Dagon, carved 
  from an unknown form of stone (see Dagon 
  Worship, page 248). Holmes believes that the statue 
  has occult powers but has yet to unlock its secrets. 
  She spends hours every night in the lab, trying 
  different spell formulas on the statue while it is 
  kept behind a protective ward. Her devotion to 
  the occult may arouse the suspicions of the Player 
  Characters. 
  •	
  Investigate Coldfield: Searching Coldfield’s 
  belongings turns up an amulet identical to the 
  one found on Allen’s corpse – and, secure in a 
  waterproof plastic wrapper, a black-market Uzi 
  and 200 rounds of ammunition. Discovering 
  this is a great time for Coldfield to walk in on the 
  character. 
  7. Three-Day Weekend
  The characters have another day of training after they 
  return from the run. The next morning, the characters have 
  another course in occultism, followed by more survival 
  training in the afternoon.
  Dagon Worship
  Dr. Holmes’ second lecture is about other species living on 
  Earth and older forms of magic. She brings the characters 
  back to the Order Hall after breakfast and monologues at 
  them some more. 
  ‘Yesterday, I explained the underlying dynamics of  thaumaturgy – the 
  correctly drawn Dho-Na curve through the platonic realm opens up the 
  other universes to us. In modern times, we generate these curves using 
  computers, but that’s not the only way to draw a curve. It is possible 
  to visualise such formulas in your mind, or encode them into artefacts. 
  Before Turing’s Theorem, wizards and sorcerers did exactly that – 
  most historical occultism is so much flimflam and nonsense, but there 
  were a few genuine thamaturgical formulas amid all the dross. Not all 
  cults and religions are wholly without… merit.
  We must also consider the other denizens of  this Earth. Humanity 
  is not the first intelligent species to dwell upon this planet. There are 
  other, older races who once called this place home. We have found relics 
  of  theirs. In some cases, we have even met with them. Within a mile 
  of  this very spot, there are beings hundreds of  years old who saw 
  with their own eyes the Norman ships crossing the channel, who know 
  secrets older than the dreams of  civilisation. Consider that! All human 
  history is just an eyeblink to them! You can almost understand how 
  someone might come to… worship… such things.
  Sorry, I went off  on a bit of  a tangent, there, didn’t I? I was talking 
  about cultists. While it is possible to cast spells without a computer, 
  it is extremely inadvisable as it usually leads to brain damage. There 
  is a reason many cultists are incurably insane. Traditional spells are 
  also inefficient and require a lot more power, and the most common 
  source of  such power is human sacrifice. There are other ways to fuel 
  a spell – your own psyche and physical health, or tapping natural 
  thaumaturgical power sources. Or there are the more abstruse schools, 
  like necromancy or sex magic.’
  Dr. Holmes explains that most traditional occultism 
  involves extensive use of props, rituals, regalia and 
  meaningless chanting but that some cults – especially those 
  with connections to the elder races – have genuine occult 
  power. As an example, she produces the statue of Dagon. 
  The statue depicts a half-man, half-fish figure with a long 
  tail and a face that initially appears bearded but on closer 
  examination has a face of tentacles. The statue’s arms are 
  outstretched and it holds a dagger in one hand. ‘This relic was 
  recovered from a dig in the Middle East. It is primarily soapstone, but 
  there are traces of  what seems to be a stable form of  nobelium – which 
  contradicts more laws of  physics than I care to contemplate.’ 
  She produces a thaumometer and explains the device’s 
  functioning. ‘This is a standard thaumic resonator, capable of  
  detecting magical fields. It… hmm, this is an interesting reading. It 
  is higher than normal. My word.’ The statue is responding to 
  Coldfield’s presence – it can sense worshippers of Dagon. 
  Unfortunately, Dr. Holmes does not pick up on this clue.
  ‘I suspect that the statue may be responding to some environmental 
  change, possibly a local ebb… we should take advantage of  this. 
  Give me a hand moving it into the containment pentacle.’ Holmes 
  moves the statue into the containment pentacle and charges 
  it. She then exhorts everyone to concentrate on the statue 
  in the hopes of activating it. Concentrating on the statue 
  causes mild headaches and the temporary loss of 1d3 
  POW. Paranoid players may take this as proof that she is 
  the Dagonist spy. The Dagon statue is a red herring; it is 
  an occult artefact but it plays no part in the events of this 
  mission. 
  Skill Improvement: This course gives a checkmark for 
  Occult.
  Survival Training
  After the occultism course, it is back to the tender mercies 
  of Sergeant Laine and some practical instruction in not 
  being seen. He hands everyone a cheap plastic rain jacket 
  and a pair of goggles, then brings them to a rocky section 
  of shore up the coast from Dunwich. It is far enough away 
  from the Village to be completely out of sight. There is 
  nothing except the wet sand and the sea and the crumbling 
  cliffs and the rocks; no sign of life except the gulls hanging 
  in the wind. 
  Laine produces a paintball gun. ‘Right. Simple evasion exercise. 
  You lot start at one end of  the beach. I’ll be at the other. If  anyone can 
  get to my end without being shot, drinks are on me. Move.’
  
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  22 GoInG down 
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  Moving between rocks without being hit requires a Dodge 
  or Hide roll. The difficulty of the roll depends on how 
  fast the character is moving – it takes 10 Average difficulty 
  rolls, five Difficult rolls or 15 Easy rolls to reach Laine. Any 
  character who fails a roll may be tagged by a paintball. 
  Skill Improvement: This course gives a checkmark for 
  Dodge.
  Celebratory BBQ in the Dog & Whistle
  Once the characters have completed their training course, 
  there is a free barbecue in the Dog and Whistle. As is standard 
  for English barbecues, it fails to light. After half an hour 
  standing around in the drizzle while Leah Poisson and the 
  barman pour lighter fluid and argue about how hot it should 
  be, the decision is made to decamp into the pub and just 
  stick some half-hearted cocktail sausages and fish under the 
  grill. 
  After drinks, food and potential E. Coli poisoning, the 
  characters are told that the boat back to civilisation will 
  leave at 8am the next morning. 
  8. The Wrath of  Dagon
  Coldfield’s mission is to sacrifice as many people as he can 
  to Dagon, thus proving the devotion of the Esoteric Order 
  to the Deep Ones. He is an occult suicide bomber. 
  His exact plan depends on what opportunities the characters 
  give him. If the players are on their guard or quickly come 
  to suspect Coldfield, then he will be forced to act sooner 
  than he wishes. If the players do not suspect Coldfield, then 
  he can put his ideal sacrifice into play.
  The Ideal Sacrifice
  Coldfield sneaks out of the Monkfish Motel during the night 
  and creeps down to the Order Hall (a sleeping character 
  who shares a room with Coldfield can make a Difficult 
  Listen check to hear him sneak out). He uses his warding 
  amulet to break through the defensive magic on the door 
  and ambushes Dr. Holmes. He murders her by stabbing her 
  with his knife and drenching the statue of Dagon with her 
  blood. He also takes the summoning grid and hides it on the 
  motorboat. He then returns to the Monkfish Motel.
  The next morning, the characters are due to return to 
  civilisation on the boat. They meet down at the jetty, where 
  two of the bulbous-eyed, fish-smelling, shambling denizens 
  of Dunwich are waiting for them. The characters pile onto 
  the boat and one of the villagers starts the engine and noses 
  out into the treacherous waters of the harbour.
  Call for Spot checks; anyone who succeeds notices a 
  tarpaulin under the pilot’s seat and the tarpaulin is humming 
  slightly. Concealed under the tarpaulin is the summoning 
  grid that Dr. Holmes was using.
  Five minutes out of Dunwich, the grid activates, summoning 
  1d3+1 Level Two entities to possess those around it. Any 
  character not wearing a ward may be attacked by summoned 
  entities; the creatures try to possess their targets. Victims 
  may resist possession by pitting POW against POW on the 
  Resistance table. The demons have a POW of 3d6 each. 
  The demons are intangible and can only be affected by 
  magic such as a banishing spell. Coldfield has a ward and so 
  is less likely to be possessed.
  Two of the demons grab the bodies of the unfortunate 
  villagers and the boat slows to a halt. Any extra demons 
  target other Player Characters. The characters are trapped 
  on a small motorboat with two or more possessed minions 
  and a dagger-wielding Dagon cultist. Coldfield produces a 
  sacrificial dagger from inside his jacket and begins chanting. 
  ‘Ia! Father Dagon! Our father, who art in Rl’yeh! Remember your 
  faithful followers, and return to us your favour!’ He then starts 
  stabbing. 
  There are few weapons on the boat – the best thing to do is 
  grab an oar and start battering zombies with it. Characters 
  can also jump overboard and flee, or wrestle past the 
  zombies and switch the summoning grid from ‘summon’ to 
  ‘banish’, or call in support from Tim Shears (in which case 
  a Plumbing team arrives on board a coastguard helicopter 
  within 10 minutes and a sniper with banishing rounds in an 
  air rifle takes the zombies down).  
  ChapTer TwenTy-TwO
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  250
  The Laundry
  Opportunistic Sacrifices
  If suspicion is closing in on Coldfield before the end of 
  the training course, then he may take one of the following 
  courses of action: 
  During Dr. Holmes’ Lecture: While everyone’s distracted 
  by the statue, and the containment pentacle is being used, 
  the summoning grid is a tempting target for the treacherous 
  Coldfield. The cultist could easily activate the grid. The grid 
  can summon 1d3+1 demons every minute until shut down. 
  During the Paintball Test: If Coldfield gets the opportunity 
  (say, if he and another character are both eliminated by 
  Laine’s paintballs), then he could drag that character away 
  into the surf and try to murder the unfortunate PC with his 
  sacrificial blade. 
  Murder in the Dark: A character sharing a room with 
  Coldfield may be used as a human sacrifice by the cultist. 
  Coldfield will not just stab a sleeping character; he will hold 
  a knife to his victim’s throat, march him out of the Monkfish 
  Motel and begin to prepare him as a ritual sacrifice at the 
  edge of the water. Coldfield’s intent is to draw on the power 
  of the sacrifice to fuel a summoning spell – if he cannot 
  use Dr. Holmes’ summoning grid, he will do things the old-
  fashioned way.
  Lots of  Zombies: If Coldfield can complete a summoning 
  ritual, or use the summoning grid, he can call up a large 
  number of possessors. Most of the Laundry staff and 
  various key buildings around Dunwich are warded, but there 
  are still plenty of villagers to be possessed. The characters 
  may be awoken in the Monkfish Motel by possessed villagers 
  pounding on the doors. 
  9. Aftermath
  Once Coldfield is identified as the Dagon cultist and the 
  Plumbers are called in, the threat is dealt with quickly. 
  Plumbers – dark-coated figures wearing gas masks and 
  carrying pistols loaded with banishing rounds – descend 
  on the village from a coastguard helicopter. Any possessed 
  victims are exorcised (a character who was possessed suffers 
  1d6/1d10 SAN loss) and Coldfield is taken into custody for 
  interrogation. 
  Allen’s body is collected as well and Mr. Shears will be 
  dragged before the Auditors to account for how he ignored 
  the spy’s warnings about the Dagon cult. So too will those 
  responsible for vetting Coldfield. 
  Sanity Gain: If the characters were able to stop Coldfield 
  before he sacrificed anyone, it is worth 1d6 Sanity and 
  +1d4% to Status. 
  Bernard Coldfield, EOD Assassin
  STR 14 
  CON 13 SIZ 11 
  INT 14 
  POW 12 
  DEX 15 CHA 10 EDU 13 SAN 30 
  HP 12
  Damage Bonus: +1d4
  Weapons: Sacrificial Dagger 75%, damage 1d4+damage 
  bonus. 
  Armour: None, but Coldfield can cast a protective ward 
  that absorbs the first 10 points of damage he suffers.  
  Artefacts: Dagonist Ward (Class Two)
  Skills: Cthulhu Mythos 10%, Disguise 40%, Fast Talk 
  50%, Grapple 40%, Hide 40%, Knowledge (Occult) 60%, 
  Sorcery 40%, Spot 40%, Stealth 55%.
  Leah Poisson, Human Resources
  STR 10 
  CON 9 
  SIZ 8 
  INT 13 
  POW 11 
   
  DEX 10  CHA 14 EDU 15 SAN 50 
  HP 9
  Damage Bonus: +0
  Skills: Bureaucracy 55%, Etiquette 30%, Knowledge 
  (History) 25%, Status 25%.
  Dr. Meredith Holmes, Laundry Occultist
  STR 8 
  CON 10 SIZ 8 
  INT 15 
  POW 10 
  DEX 9 
  CHA 7 
  EDU 17 SAN 35 
  HP 9
  Damage Bonus: +0
  Artefacts: Class Three Ward, Thaumometer, Mysterious 
  Yet Pointless Dagon Statue
  Skills: Computer Use (Magic) 55%, Cthulhu Mythos 30%, 
  Knowledge (Occult) 60%, Science (Thaumaturgy) 70%, 
  Sorcery 40%, Teach 40%.
  Sgt. Trevor Laine
  STR 16 
  CON 14 SIZ 15 
  INT 13 
  POW 11
  DEX 11 CHA 8 
  EDU 12 SAN 50 
  HP 15
  Damage Bonus: +1d4
  Weapons:  Glock, 60%, damage 1d10; Paintball Gun 75%, 
  damage 1
  Skills: Command 40%, Dodge 45%, Firearms (Pistol) 60%, 
  Firearms (Rifle) 75%, Grapple 60%, Spot 45%, Strategy 
  30%, Teach 60%.
  Possessed Villager
  STR 13 
  CON 14 SIZ 13 
  INT 1 
  POW 11
  DEX 5 
  CHA 3 
  EDU 0 
  SAN 30 
  HP 14
  Damage Bonus: +1d4
  Weapons: Fist/Punch 30%, damage 1d3+damage bonus
  Skills: Flail and Stumble 30%, Grapple 30%, Swim 60% 
  
  251
  23  a FooTnoTe
  This mission gives the characters a glimpse into the 
  Laundry’s past and future. The test of a new weapons 
  system leads to the discovery that an old project is still 
  active. When running the mission, emphasise paranoia and 
  uncertainty – is this investigation pushing too far into places 
  the Laundry does not want them to go?
  Back in the late 1970s, the Laundry ran PROJECT BLUE 
  LILY, an attempt to partially recreate the events that lead 
  up to the Dunwich Horror (see Lovecraft’s story of the 
  same name for more details). They experimented with 
  creating hybrids of extra-dimensional demons, using animal 
  egg cells as the base matter (bovine embryos in this case, 
  although the resulting hybrids took more after their fathers). 
  BLUE LILY was destroyed in an accident, but one of the 
  hybrids survived.
  The invisible monster escaped from the burning laboratory 
  and wandered into the wilderness. After years of hibernation, 
  it awoke once more and it found its way into a small village. 
  Feeling the call of the extra-dimensional demon that sired 
  it, the hybrid found suitable pawns – an ordinary farming 
  couple called the Humes and their daughter – and set off 
  back for the lab where it was created, with the intention 
  of opening the gate and letting its demonic sire and all its 
  equally demonic uncles and aunts back in to devour our 
  world...
   
  1. An Early Start
  It’s one of  those mornings. You know, those mornings when you’re 
  woken at 4am by a phone call from the Laundry, telling you that 
  a car will pick you up in five minutes. Your brain finally booted up 
  somewhere near Uxbridge as you approached RAF Northolt at high 
  speed. They piled you all onto a BAe 146 bound for Scotland.
  Somewhere over middle England, they came by with surprisingly good 
  coffee and a folder of  documents. 
  Give the players Handout #1 at this point – and yes, they 
  have just been granted GABLE WINDOW clearance.
  There is also a set of photos in the folder. They show a 
  stretch of barren Scottish coastline beneath a hazy, silvery 
  mist. There are several target objects (piles of oil drums or 
  dummy tanks) highlighted – they are strangely distorted and 
  weirdly coloured. The target objects are all equipped with 
  Class Three Entropy Manipulation generators – they are 
  invisible to the naked eye, but were revealed by the GABLE 
  WINDOW airburst.
  In the last photo, at the very edge of the silvery mist, there 
  is something else. It has got the same discolouration and 
  distortion as the target objects but it is definitely not a 
  training dummy. The Tornado was turning away when the 
  photo was taken so it is hard to make out details, but the 
  thing definitely has tentacles. Lots of them. It is impossible 
  to estimate the thing’s size, as it was half-in, half-out of the 
  Ibn-Ghazi airburst, but it must be at least six feet long. 
  On the plane is a case packed with equipment:
  	•
  a handheld GPS unit.
  	•
  a Tillinghast Resonator.
  	•
  flashlights and all-weather gear.
  	•
  four sachets of the powder of Ibn-Ghazi, which 
  can reveal invisible creatures.
  	•
  and a field exorcism kit.
  There is also a sealed bag. Whatever is in the bag is heavy 
  and bulky and could be a gun of some sort. There are also 
  some papers. The bag is stamped WARNING – DO NOT 
  OPEN WITHOUT EXPRESS PERMISSION; there is a 
  post-it note on it addressed to the Player Character who is 
  most likely to open the bag, saying ‘this means you.’
   
  ChapTer TwenTy-Three
  a Footnote
  CONTACTING THE lAUNDrY
  The 
  characters’ 
  superiors 
  are 
  aware of the BLUE LILY experiments 
  and that it is possible that some 
  survivor of BLUE LILY is the thing 
  glimpsed 
  in 
  the 
  GABLE 
  WINDOW 
  tests. If so, the survivor must 
  be destroyed. However, they do not 
  want to do anything without proof 
  – BLUE LILY was an embarrassing 
  disaster for the Laundry and no-one 
  wants to exhume that skeleton from 
  the closet. 
  The sealed bag contains a copy of 
  the final BLUE LILY report (Handout 
  #2) and a laser target designator, 
  the sort of gadget you use to call 
  down airstrikes on enemy tanks. If 
  the characters contact the Laundry 
  with proof that there is something 
  big, invisible and connected to the 
  old research lab at Kirkcudbright, 
  then their superiors give them 
  permission to open the sealed 
  bag and instructions to use the 
  designator 
  and 
  the 
  Tillinghast 
  Resonator or IG7 compound to make 
  the creature visible long enough to 
  be targeted. See Air Strike, page 
  255.
  
  252
  The Laundry
  The plane lands at Prestwick, near Glasgow. As soon as the 
  characters turn their mobile phones back on, they get a call 
  from their superior in the Laundry. ‘Good morning. How was 
  your flight?’ he asks, before getting on to the business at hand. 
  ‘The RAF conducted a test firing of  GABLE WINDOW yesterday. 
  It was a success – the GR4 Recon Tornado overflying the test zone was 
  able to photograph six of  the ten occluded targets.
  It also saw something else invisible. It’s the last photo in the set. Poke 
  around, and let me know the instant you find anything significant.’
   Rennie
  Waiting in the arrivals hall of the airport is a man wearing 
  a heavy raincoat and carrying a hand-lettered sign for 
  CAPITAL LAUNDRY SERVICES. He introduces himself 
  as ‘Rennie’ and flashes the characters a Laundry warrant 
  card; he looks like he should be stalking through gorse with 
  a sniper rifle, or possibly warning campers that a werewolf 
  stalks the highlands – he has got the wild hair and the wild 
  eyes and the thick accent for the role. He says that he was 
  sent to pick the characters up. He loads the characters into 
  a 4x4 and drives off south-west towards the Kirkcudbright 
  Training Ground near Dumfries. 
  Questioning Rennie
  If asked about the mysterious entity in the photograph, 
  Rennie mutters that he has been telling the Laundry for 
  years that there are things living in the wilderness – lloigor, 
  he calls them the Many-Angled Ones. Those fools down in 
  London did not listen to him, not until their fancy gadgets 
  showed he was right all along. He claims that the entities 
  dwell in the hills but that they are harmless ‘eddies in the 
  spirit world’, ‘timorous beasties’ that can be ignored. This whole 
  expedition is a waste of time. 
  Playing Rennie: 
  •	
  The players should never be quite sure if he is 
  genuinely convinced of the existence of these 
  ‘lloigors’, or if he is pulling a prank on them.
  •	
  Speak in the most lugubrious Scottish accent 
  you can manage (think Private Frazer from Dad’s 
  Army).
  •	
  Mumble under your breath most of the time; 
  stare with a wild, unblinking eye at anyone who 
  questions you.
  2. Kirkcudbright
  After a long and occasionally terrifying drive (Rennie’s 
  attitude towards other motorists is that conflict builds 
  character), the characters pass a sign warning them that they 
  are entering Ministry of Defence property and to watch out 
  for low-flying aircraft, artillery fire and other hazards and 
  they really should probably turn back. Another few minutes 
  down the road, Rennie turns onto a narrow lane, which 
  soon becomes a dirt track. The views are breathtaking as 
  the Solway Firth opens up on the left-hand side. This is 
  the area where they filmed The Wicker Man, back in the 
  1970s. Occasionally, in the distance, the characters hear the 
  crack of automatic weapons fire or the scream of a jet, far 
  overhead.
  The dirt track leads to the field where the thing in the photo 
  was spotted. ‘Here we are’, mutters Rennie, ‘nowhere.’ 
  Searching for Evidence
  There are curious tracks in the mud; Knowledge (Natural 
  history) confirms that they are not anything terrestrial and 
  are a weird mix of limbs. Some of the prints look like goat 
  hooves, others are the wriggling trail of tentacles and others 
  look like some great bulk was dragged along the ground. 
  In places, some of the tracks vanish while others remain, 
  as though there were multiple different creatures following 
  the same path (in fact, it is just one creature, with bits of 
  its anatomy phasing in and out of our reality as it moves). 
  There are also sheep tracks – the hills around this area are 
  used for sheep farming. The trail is hard enough to follow 
  (Average Track check; Rennie has a Track skill of 60% and 
  helps if asked – complaining all the while, of course), but 
  if the characters think to use the Tillinghast Resonator, the 
  trail fluoresces in a way that makes anyone who looks at it 
  nauseous. The characters can also follow the creature using 
  a sample of the mud it touched and Sympathetic Magic.
  Following the trail leads across the fields. At one point, 
  it crosses a low stone wall; the stones are scratched and 
  discoloured, as if bathed in acid. In the next field, there is 
  a flock of sheep – all the sheep are clustered in one corner 
  and refuse to move. These sheep have clearly suffered a 
  significant SAN loss. In the field, the characters also find the 
  corpses of four sheep – they have been drained. The only 
  wound on the corpses is a two-inch incision that looks like 
  it was made with a scalpel but blood, internal organs and 
  muscle were sucked out of the wound. With a successful 
  Idea roll, the characters notice that the tracks get heavier 
  and clearer after each sheep kill – feeding on terrestrial 
  matter made the creature more ‘real’.
  The Car
  The trail crosses another country lane on the edge of a 
  forest – and parked at the side of the road is a car. Rennie 
  mutters that this area is off limits to the public. In fact, this 
  whole area is warded, just like Dunwich village. The only 
  way you can get in here is with a warrant card; the wards and 
  glamours should turn any intruders away. 
  The car is a battered, muddy family car. In the back seat 
  are children’s toys and books; in the glove compartment is 
  a driver’s license belonging to ‘James Hume’. Running the 
  driver’s licence or the car’s number plates reveals that the car 
  is registered to a James Hume, who lives in a small village 
  within an hour’s drive of this spot. It is possible he was just 
  out for a drive and wandered into a secure area.
  
  253
  23  a FooTnoTe
  The car is parked next to a turning into the forest. Rennie 
  curses when he realises where he is and explains that there 
  was a Laundry research facility here back in the late 1970s 
  that was shut down abruptly. He never knew what they were 
  working on, or why the place was closed. It is definitely off 
  limits to everyone. Footprints lead from the car down the 
  path. 
  The tracks lead down the overgrown forest path towards the 
  old research facility. A Track roll confirms that the monster 
  tracks overlay the footprints of the people from the car.
  The Girl in the Woods
  There was a road here once, but it is lost under the oppressive 
  trees and the undergrowth. The woods are utterly quiet. 
  There is no sound of animal life, just the squelch of the 
  sucking mud underfoot and Rennie’s grumblings.
  Call for Listen checks. Those who succeed hear a child’s 
  voice somewhere up ahead, singing to herself. When the 
  characters advance, they see a young girl of about six years 
  of age, wearing a pink raincoat and playing among the trees. 
  This is Emma Hume; she is playing with her invisible friend, 
  ‘Yog-Snuffles’. He is around here somewhere. Play Emma 
  as exactly what she is – a bizarre, terrifying child whose 
  invisible friend eats people. 
  Beyond the girl is a concrete building that looks like a cross 
  between a bunker and a cowshed. It has obviously been 
  abandoned for decades.
  If asked where her parents are, Emma replies that they 
  are inside the smelly building. Yog-Snuffles told them to 
  come here. He was living in their shed for years, now he 
  has grown up. Yog-Snuffles is her best friend, ever since he 
  ate her puppy. Her puppy lives on inside him now for all 
  eternity – Yog-Snuffles told her so.
  Other possible questions:
  Where is Yog-Snuffles?: He is around here somewhere. 
  He is always wandering off. Silly thing. Maybe he is hungry.
  What are you doing here?: We are here to see his daddy.
  Yog-Snuffles Attacks
  If the characters attempt to restrain Emma or when it 
  is dramatically appropriate1, the monster attacks. If the 
  characters have their Tillinghast Generator running, or 
  throw one of the sachets of Ibn-Ghazi powder at it, then 
  they get to see the horror. Otherwise, they just see something 
  invisible lift Rennie off the ground, slice open the back of 
  his neck and suck his internal organs out like an ant-eater 
  uses its long tongue to pull ants out of a hole. Sanity Loss 
  for seeing that is 1d4/1d8.
  After killing Rennie, the monster turns its attention to the 
  Player Characters. Running is definitely the best option 
  here; alternatively, inflicting 10 or more damage on the 
  creature drives it away temporarily. The characters can also 
  flee towards the concrete building – it looks like the thing is 
  too big to fit inside.
  Ideally, Emma should escape during this scene. Either she 
  sprints into the forest when ‘Yog-Snuffles’ attacks, or the 
  monster carries her off. Have the monster attack any Player 
  Character who tries to restrain her.
  3. The Old Laboratory
  Back in 1981, this was Kirkcudbright Research Facility 
  #4, home to PROJECT BLUE LILY. The laboratory was 
  hastily abandoned in the 80s; the Laundry stripped it of any 
  documentation or salvageable equipment, but the place is 
  still littered with broken chairs and debris. The walls are 
  peeling or covered in a fuzz of unidentifiable fungal growths; 
  there are rats in the walls and the floor is waterlogged. 
  If the characters have an active Tillinghast Resonator, then 
  they glimpse hallucinatory fragments of the events in the 
  laboratory – they see ghostly figures in lab coats drifting 
  through the hallways, the shadows of writhing tentacles on 
  the walls or cancerous growths spewing out of Petri dishes.
  Outer Offices
  The outer offices once held the project records and files 
  for BLUE LILY. Anything important was removed from 
  the ruins long ago; all that is left here is trash, decay and the 
  carcass of an ancient desktop computer.
  1 Or when you get tired of putting on a child’s falsetto.
  a FOOTnOTe
   
  ChapTer TwenTy-Three
  
  254
  The Laundry
  Biological Labs
  These rooms suffered the brunt of the damage during the 
  outbreak. There are bullet holes in the walls and the lab 
  benches are swollen with damp and fungal growths. In one 
  place, the concrete is stained purple-red and is so soft it 
  crumbles with the slightest touch. 
  Observation Rooms
  This is a long corridor of concrete chambers. Each chamber 
  has a heavy steel door with a small observation window; it 
  looks like they once planned to keep several very big animals 
  here. The chambers are each big enough for an elephant. 
  Summoning Chamber
  The summoning chamber is located at the very back of the 
  bunker. As the characters approach, they sense an electric 
  charge in the air and can hear muttering and chanting. Their 
  skin crawls; anyone in a Tillinghast field sees ripples of 
  energy and suffering. The door to the chamber is partially 
  closed. This steel door was once subjected to unimaginable 
  forces; it bulges outwards in places and has partially melted 
  in others. An eerie reddish light pulses through the cracks 
  in the door. 
  An inhuman voice booms from the far side. ‘Soon! Soon! The 
  walls grow thin! I shall push from this side and the child from the other 
  and the walls will break! I hunger! Be swift with the sacrifice.’ The 
  demon used as a sperm donor in the Laundry’s experiments 
  is back and it intends to conquer the world. It has poked 
  a tendril through into our reality and with the help of the 
  hybrid, it can squeeze all the way in.
  Beyond lies the summoning chamber. The room was 
  stripped of electronic components 30 years ago; there are 
  holes in the concrete where the Laundry tore out cabling 
  and unbolted equipment from the floor. The machinery 
  may be long gone, but there is still a weak spot in reality 
  here.
  The Humes – under the telepathic direction of the hybrid 
  monster – have chalked a basic summoning circle on the 
  floor to allow the demon to partially manifest. Writhing in 
  the air above the circle is a bleeding gash in reality, a window 
  into dimensions best left unexplored. SAN Loss for seeing 
  it is 1/1d4. The Humes are staring into the abyss with glazed 
  eyes; an Easy Insight or Knowledge (Occult) check suggests 
  that they are hypnotised or enchanted or otherwise not at 
  home to Mr. Free Will.
  ‘The door must be made from your side, minions! Widen the breach!’ 
  Information-dense beams of pink light shoot from the 
  breach into the eyes of the Humes and the unfortunate 
  couple begin chanting. The breach begins to widen.
  As soon as the characters make themselves known, the 
  demon roars ‘Intruders! Laaaaundry! I know you of  old! You shall 
  suffer greatly when the Earth is cleared and we of  the Aklo Saboath 
  rule where we once ruled! Our hand is at your throat, though you see it 
  not! Well, more of  a tentacle really, than a hand! Graagh!’  
  The characters hear something huge and vile throwing 
  itself against the walls of the concrete bunker. Yog-Snuffles 
  is back and it is trying to smash its way into the bunker. 
  Thunder booms overhead and the air crackles as the walls 
  of reality crumble.
  Dealing with the Humes
  The characters can either grapple the hypnotised couple 
  and stop them from widening the breach or tackle the 
  summoning circle directly. This should not be a significant 
  problem for the characters – taking down two middle-aged 
  civilians and/or a hastily drawn chalk circle is well within 
  their capabilities. As soon as the Humes are prevented from 
  chanting or the circle is broken, the portal to the other 
  dimension slams shut.
  As soon as the portal is closed, the Humes collapse into 
  unconsciousness. 
  The roaring and hammering from outside also stops and the 
  characters hear Yog-Snuffles shamble off into the forest. 
  There is a moment of strange calm.
  4. Takedown
  Young Emma Hume is still out there in the woods with 
  her invisible friend. In fact, she is heading for a peculiar 
  bald hill that overlooks the bunker. There is more than one 
  weak spot and Emma still has a connection to the demon. 
  From outside the bunker, the characters can clearly see an 
  atmospheric disturbance above the nearby hill; the clouds 
  whirl as if being sucked down an inter-dimensional plughole 
  in the sky.
  The characters need to stop the hybrid before Emma 
  reopens the portal. If they fail to do so, then the hybrid 
  pushing from one side and the demon pushing from 
  the other will open the portal fully and allow the demon 
  complete access to our reality. The complication, of course, 
  is that the hybrid is invisible except when within two metres 
  of a Tillinghast generator or when covered in the powder 
  of Ibn-Ghazi.
  The characters have the laser target designator and can 
  easily contact the Kirkcudbright Training Ground (either 
  by contacting their superiors in the Laundry, or via the 
  Switchboard, or by picking up one of the still-working 
  phones in the bunker that are connected directly to the 
  security office). The Dundrennan Firing Range – one of 
  the British army’s artillery testing areas – is part of the 
  Kirkcudbright base and they have lots of very big guns, 
  including QinetiQ’s shiny railgun. Lobbing a few dozen 
  depleted-uranium shells or missiles at the right spot splatters 
  Yog-Snuffles across the hillside.
  
  255
  23  a FooTnoTe
  So, all the characters need to do is to target the invisible 
  monster with the laser. There are several ways to do this:
  	
  •
  Follow the monster through the forest, get close 
  enough to use the powder of Ibn-Ghazi on it and 
  keep the target designator on it for long enough to 
  blast it to bits. The downside is that anyone following 
  the monster is likely to get eaten.
  	
  •
  Lure the monster into a trap. It likes to eat sheep or 
  Laundry officers. 
  	
  •
  Target the hillside. The characters know the monster 
  is going there, so they can just wait until it shows itself, 
  then drop a few artillery rounds on it. Unfortunately, 
  there is also an innocent child on the hillside; unless 
  the characters are willing to write Emma Hume off 
  as collateral damage, then someone will have to sneak 
  up and grab Emma just before the artillery strike hits.
  	
  •
  A clever option for sorcerous-minded PCs would be 
  to reopen the portal themselves. The monster would 
  be drawn to this breach and the characters could 
  then call in a strike. This has the added advantage of 
  blasting the demon on the far side of the breach, too.
  Calling Down Fire
  The Powder of  Ibn Ghazi: The powder renders invisible 
  things visible. A successful Throw roll is needed to hurl 
  powder over a specific target. If the monster is hit directly, 
  it is visible for 2d6 rounds; if the attack misses, it is only 
  visible for 1d4 rounds. Thrown powder has a maximum 
  range of three metres.
  Tillinghast Resonator: If the monster comes within two 
  metres of an active resonator, it becomes clearly visible to 
  the character wearing the resonator.
  GABLE WINDOW: If the characters can stall the monster 
  (say, by beating it to the hilltop and drawing a warding circle 
  around Emma, or by roleplaying), then the RAF can drop 
  another GABLE WINDOW missile on the area, making 
  the monster clearly visible for several minutes. 
  The Laser Targeter: Aiming it at a stationary point 
  requires an Easy Weapons (exotic) or Artillery roll. Aiming 
  at a visible but moving target is Average Difficulty; if the 
  character cannot see the monster at all and is aiming based 
  on moving foliage and footprints, it is Difficult. 
  The artillery strike arrives three rounds after the targeting 
  roll and inflicts damage based on how much the monster 
  has moved in the intervening time. Characters may ‘walk’ 
  the artillery strike onto the target by calling in multiple 
  strikes, one after the next.
  No movement (stationary): 15d6
  Minimal Movement (Same general area as designated 
  target): 12d6
  Some Movement (travelling through the woods at 
  normal pace): 6d6
  Fast Movement (creature is fleeing or sprinting): 3d6
  Aftermath
  Once the hybrid monster is destroyed, there is no way 
  for its sire to use it as a key to our reality. Presumably, the 
  demon slinks back to its home dimension, muttering darkly 
  about those meddling kids with their artillery strikes. If 
  the Humes survive, they remember almost nothing about 
  the whole experience and the Plumbers ensure that their 
  memories stay sealed. 
  Dealing with the monster is worth 1d4% Status and 1d8 
  Sanity, unless the Humes or Emma were killed, in which 
  cases the characters gain no Sanity from the mission.
  Rennie
  STR 10 
  CON 14 SIZ 13 
  INT 13 
  POW 10 
  DEX 9 
  CHA 12 EDU 14 SAN 30 
  HP 14
  Damage Bonus: +0
  Weapons: Hunting Rifle 40%, 2d6+4
  Skills: Drive 25%, Fast Talk 50%, Knowledge (Natural 
  history) 55%, Knowledge (Occult) 40%, Status 30%, 
  Stealth 60%, Track 60%
  Artefacts: Warrant Card, Class II Ward
  ‘Yog-Snuffles’
  STR 40 
  CON 30 SIZ 35 
  INT 6 
  POW 13 
  DEX 15 Move 10 HP 33
  Damage Bonus: +2d6
  Weapons: Flailing Tentacle 50%, damage is damage 
  bonus; Grab and Suck 70%, damage is 1d6 Hit Points 
  of crushing damage plus 1d10 Hit Points of blood drain 
  every round after the first.
  Armour: None, but the creature regenerates six Hit Points 
  per round and firearms do minimum damage.  
  Sanity Loss: When invisible, 1/1d6 Sanity points; when 
  visible, 1d6/2d10 Sanity points.
  a FOOTnOTe
   
  ChapTer TwenTy-Three
  
  256
  The Laundry
  This report is classified BLUE LILY REDSHIFT. If you do 
  not have BLUE LILY REDSHIFT clearance, do not read 
  this document.
  17th January, 1983
  Final Report to the Board
  In 1974, I was approached to lead a research team under 
  PROJECT BLUE LILY to investigate the possibility 
  of using experimental in-vitro techniques to hybridise 
  mammals with biologically morphic exonomes. The in vivo 
  creation of hybrids had been confirmed (Armitage, Rice, 
  Morgan, 1934) although not under laboratory conditions. 
  A secure laboratory was constructed in Kirkcudbright and 
  work began in 1976.
  Bovine egg cells were used as the primary biological 
  component in initial experiments. Unfertilised egg cells were 
  placed in a Class III summoning grid. Lines One to Seven 
  used an n-dimensional transform through the Gate of Ma’at 
  and while fertilisation rates of 0.146 were achieved, none of 
  the blastocysts survived past Day Four before undergoing 
  spontaneous reality failure. For Line Eight, the Prayer of 
  Aten-Umet was invoked under an entropy co-efficient of 
  0.788 and a fertilisation rate of 0.65 was achieved. Of the 
  Line Eight samples, 16 survived past Day Four and of these, 
  five continued to thrive.
  (At this time, I wish to enter a personal note into the record 
  and wholly deny the allegations made during the meeting 
  of 19th December last year – at no time were human egg 
  cells used in experimentation. While proposals to do so were 
  indeed lodged with the Board and with the ethics committee 
  in 1979, the incident occurred before the move to human 
  testing.)
  On 14th March, 1981, we began Line Nine, which again used 
  the Prayer of Aten-Umet under low-entropy conditions. 
  The grid was brought to full power at approximately 1530 
  hours; within 30 seconds of invocation, the containment 
  wards failed and the reality excursion began.
  Of the 16 staff members on-site that day, only four survived 
  the initial breach. We attempted to seal the breach by cutting 
  power to the invocation chamber, but the summoning grid 
  was now drawing energy from a low-tau universe and was 
  effectively self-powered. Fortunately, the reality breach was 
  contained to the research laboratory itself, allowing us to 
  alert the support staff at Kirkcudbright. 
  The breach was sealed 14 hours after opening (and I must 
  again acknowledge the sacrifice of TEAM BRAVO) and 
  the laboratory was thoroughly investigated and cleansed by 
  Plumber and Bagger teams. All viable samples are believed 
  destroyed1.
    
  With the majority of the staff dead and all research material 
  destroyed, PROJECT BLUE LILY was irreparably damaged. 
  While it is certainly possibly to recreate our results and even 
  conceivable that a hybridised embryo could be brought to 
  term in a suitable host, it is my professional recommendation 
  that this line of inquiry be abandoned. 
  Please consider this letter to be notice of my resignation 
  from the Laundry, effective immediately. I submit to 
  whatever geas-compulsion or other precautions the Board 
  feels necessary to maintain my silence in this matter.
  R.G. Edwards
  1 Not confirmed.
  This report is classified GABLE WINDOW. If you do not have 
  GABLE WINDOW clearance, do not read this document.
  PROJECT OVERVIEW
  Entropic occlusion (ENTOCC) is a form of occult stealth 
  technology utilised by both human and non-human hostiles. 
  Through local manipulation of entropy, it is possible to render 
  a target invisible to vislight and IR observers, in a similar 
  fashion to non-occult cloaking using metamaterials. While most 
  implementations of ENTOCC leave a noticeable distortion 
  field, a sufficiently precise distortion of local conditions can 
  result in ‘perfect’ invisible, providing an insurmountable 
  tactical advantage in the occult battlespace. 
  A Tillinghast resonator or similar detector can move 
  ENTOCC targets into the visible spectrum, but the range of 
  such detectors is severely limited (<100 metres). Furthermore, 
  integration of Tillinghast-type detectors with self-guided 
  munitions has proved notoriously difficult (see YELLOW 
  ARCHER). Tillinghast technology is hence unsuitable for 
  large-scale battlefield deployment as may be required under 
  certain near-future scenarios involving open conflict with 
  ENTOCC hostiles. 
  Another counter for ENTOCC is an alchemical compound 
  referred to as IG, derived from the ‘powder of Ibn-Ghazi’ 
  (Al-Hazred). When agitated, IG granules produce an entropic 
  distortion that temporarily unravels ENTOCC within the 
  power cloud. IG loses its potency within a short period; 
  traditional deployment of IG was with a hand-pumped sprayer 
  or aerosol. For IG to be tactically viable, a wider dispersal 
  method is required.
  BATTLESPACE DEPLOYMENT OF IG CLOUDS
  Refinements to the IG formula produced a longer-lasting 
  variant, IG7. GABLE WINDOW utilises a refitted CRV7 
  delivery system, replacing the warhead with a payload of three 
  kilograms of IG7 wrapped around an airburst charge. GABLE 
  WINDOW is designed to detonate at 250 metres above ground 
  level, creating an effective IG7 cloud of up to 1.5 kilometres in 
  radius. The IG7 remains airborne for up to five minutes before 
  losing effectiveness, giving forces in the area the opportunity to 
  target ENTOCC hostiles with conventional weapons including 
  laser guided munitions. IG7 clouds do not significantly reduce 
  visibility. Ground units within IG7 AOE are advised to take 
  precautions against chemical weapons due to the toxic nature 
  of the compound; see also standard warnings for operations 
  within Tillinghast zones.
  If GABLE WINDOW tests proceed as expected, then 
  projections are to begin mass production of IG7 and 
  deployment of CRV-7IG units by 2015.
  Handout 1
  Handout 2
  
  257
  24  The GreyS
  Dementia is a ghastly fate for both the victim and their family. 
  The patient is lost in a world that is suddenly confusing, 
  hostile and frightful, while to others, it is as though a once-
  loved relative has been replaced by a monster that wears a 
  familiar face like a mask.
  The Wildermann Institute for Elderly Care is a private 
  nursing home in south London, specialising in dementia 
  and Alzheimer’s disease. The Institute has had some success 
  in arresting the progress of dementia using a regime of 
  medication and therapy. 
  Oh, and demons.
  The Institute is owned by a holding company that is owned 
  by an investment firm that is owned by another holding 
  company that is owned by a subsidiary of TLA Corporation 
  (see The Jennifer Morgue). TLA uses the Wildermann Institute 
  as a research facility. Patients are possessed under laboratory 
  conditions and studied. The existing dementia of the test 
  subjects makes it less likely that the experiments will be 
  noted – unusual behaviour can be put down as symptoms 
  of dementia, not the influence of extra-dimensional beings. 
  The original purpose of the research was to study the 
  pathology of possession on human subjects, with aspirations 
  of developing new defences against brain-eating entities in 
  advance of CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN. The current 
  director of research, Dr. Lewis, believes he has discovered a 
  new technique that promises not only a cure for dementia, 
  but also a possible path to immortality. He can compel 
  summoned entities to copy the minds of patients and then 
  compel them to behave in accordance with those copied 
  memories. It might not be grandma behind those glowing 
  eyes, but it’s a demon who ate grandma’s mind and is geased 
  to act like grandma, so what’s the difference?
  Answer: Grandma probably is not probing the binding 
  magic you inflicted on her, nor will she try to devour your 
  brains the instant she gets free.
  Dr. Lewis refers to these as ‘imprinted personalities’, but 
  that is a euphemism. They are still possessor demons with a 
  veneer of humanity. The geas spells involved in the creation 
  of the imprints allow Lewis to command the possessed 
  residents.
  Escaped Patients
  Currently, of the 36 residents of the Wildermann Institute, 
  12 of them are possessed. In some cases, the possession has 
  taken an unusual form – the damaged brains of the victim 
  confused the mapping of the nervous system, resulting in 
  side effects and unnatural phenomenon. There are wards 
  to contain such magical ‘bleeds’, but each night around 
  11:30pm the possessed patients are sedated, requiring a 
  short break in the warding. These side effects have been 
  mistaken for ghosts and ‘alien activity’ outside the Institute. 
  •	
  In the Red Lion pub, a figure of grey light 
  manifested just before closing time one night and 
  levitated a pint off the counter before vanishing.
  •	
  Similar ghostly figures have been seen in the 
  streets nearby.
  •	
  Oliver Cartwright, a local businessman, was killed 
  by a manifestation in his own home. Cartwright’s 
  elderly father, John, is a resident of the Wildermann 
  Institute. 
  Other Investigators
  Three other groups are also investigating these strange 
  phenomena. The London Paranormal Club, a small group 
  of UFO enthusiasts, are convinced that the manifestations 
  are precursor to some contact with beings from another 
  world. The LPC have no idea about demons or the occult, 
  but they have mapped the weird phenomenon in more 
  detail than anyone else.
  The police are investigating the death of Oliver Cartwright; 
  the nature of his death has not been released to the press, so 
  no-one has yet connected it to the paranormal phenomenon. 
  The greys
   
  ChapTer TwenTy-FOur
  
  258
  The Laundry
  The others are Ms. Edith Portescu and her grand-niece 
  Clara. Edith Portescue was an amateur occult investigator 
  back in the 1960s and 1970s; she and a small circle of well-
  meaning vigilantes fought minor cults and monsters. Their 
  activities petered out in 1973, after a disastrous expedition 
  into a cavern in Norway got two of them killed. 
  Another of Edith’s friends, a former antiquarian named 
  Collins, is a resident in the Wildermann Institute. After 
  visiting Collins, Edith became suspicious about the institute 
  and arranged to get herself a temporary place there. Her 
  grand-niece Clara is her contact outside the institute.
  Other Opponents
  Dr. Lewis believes that he is running the Wildermann 
  Institute; in fact, his power depends on two other people, 
  either or both of whom have their own reasons for letting 
  his experiments continue.
  Firstly, there is the security officer, Banks. He works directly 
  for TLA and his mission is to safeguard Dr. Lewis’ research. 
  If necessary, he will use lethal force to protect the Institute 
  but he is equally prepared to take Lewis’ research and 
  destroy the Institute. He is only loyal to the corporation.
  Secondly, there are demons. Lewis has taken precautions to 
  control most of the imprinted demons – they are heavily 
  geased and kept inside binding circles most of the time. The 
  only creatures that are free to roam are the nearly mindless 
  Night Nurses… and Dr. Stuart, who is possessed by the 
  imprinted personality of Dr. Lewis. Lewis believes that he 
  can trust himself but it is not a copy of his mind – it is a 
  demonic copy of his mind, which is about as trustworthy as 
  a website offering you a free iPhone if you click the banner 
  ad. 
  The demon is content, for the moment, to let Lewis 
  continue his research and summon more horrors from 
  beyond into the bodies of the elderly residents. The demons 
  have time to probe the boundaries of Lewis’ geas and as 
  their numbers grow, so too does their power…
  Running the Mission
  The Greys is a freeform mission – once the characters have 
  their initial assignment, there are multiple avenues of 
  investigation they can follow. All avenues eventually point to 
  the Wildermann Institute and once the characters get into 
  the care home, they soon confront the misguided Dr. Lewis 
  and his demonic chorus. 
  Once that happens, all hell should break loose. There are 
  three different factions in the Institute, all of whom have 
  different goals. Confronting Lewis kicks over the anthill. 
  1. A Bite And A Poltergeist
  The characters are called in to their superior’s office for a 
  briefing one morning. The following passage assumes that 
  the characters are working for CPU and Angleton; if they 
  are attached to some other section of the Laundry, replace 
  Angleton with some other superior.
  Angleton seems positively chipper this morning, which sets off  
  alarm bells in the back of  your mind. He holds up a photocopy of  
  a newspaper article, headlined ‘MARTIAN ORDERS A PINT 
  AT LOCAL PUB.’ He sniffs. ‘Aliens. Hmph. I think we can 
  safely discount the possibility of  a flying saucer landing on Clapham 
  Common anytime soon but the police report here is more interesting.’
  He passes you a sheaf  of  papers. ‘Read those.’ He presses a button on 
  his intercom. ‘Andy, is that fish gone? Bring up the line, if  you would 
  be so kind.’ 
  Give the players Handouts #1 and #2 at this point and 
  let them quickly glance over them. Once they have had a 
  chance to read the documents, Andy Newstrom enters the 
  office carrying a briefcase.
  ‘We had a bite on a fishing line that may be relevant. Every few 
  months, we discretely trawl a few interesting books and artefacts in 
  public. This particular fishing line is a copy of  a book, the Svenborg 
  Chronicle, a translation of  the writings of  an 18th Century Swedish 
  mystic. It’s of  no interest to anyone except those who know that 
  Svenborg was a mathematical savant and occultist, and who are willing 
  to trudge through rather a lot of  turgid prose. Anyone who buys a copy 
  of  the Svenborg Chronicle is likely of  interest to us. We put the 
  book up on one of  those online auction sites, and it seems someone has 
  bitten our fishing line. Andrew?’
  Andy Newstrom opens the briefcase. ‘The book in question is a forgery 
  – none of  the formulae in it actually work, but they look convincing. 
  We’ve also tagged it for scrying, and there’s a tracking bug hidden in 
  the binding. The book was purchased by someone in South Croydon, 
  and it’ll be delivered to a post office box in Croydon later today. The 
  tracker for the bug and a scrying glass are in here, along with the other 
  details.’ He pushes the briefcase towards you.
  Angleton smiles, a little too broadly for your liking. ‘Gentlemen – go 
  poke your noses in where they are not wanted, please. If  you follow up 
  on the police report, then DI Sridhar is our contact there. Off  you go. 
  Give my regards to the little green men.’
  Mission Budget
  The budget for this mission is an unremarkable 20 points. 
  Other than what is in the briefcase, the characters are not 
  given any more free support – if they want firearms or high-
  power wards, they will have to requisition them from the 
  Laundry.
  The Documents
  The newspaper article (Handout #1) is dated three days 
  ago. The police report (Handout #2) was written this 
  morning and cc’ed to the Laundry by their contacts in the 
  Metropolitan. 
  
  259
  24  The GreyS
  The Briefcase
  In the briefcase is a screenshot of an eBay screen, a radio 
  tracker and a scrying glass, which consists of a circuit board 
  wired to a small screen and a scrap of paper.
  The eBay page: This shows that a copy of the Svalborg 
  Chronicle has been sold to bidder ‘clarap1988’ for £120. 
  Tracking the user ‘clarap1988’ reveals that she has bought 
  nothing suspicious on eBay before but her address changed 
  a week ago from Torquay to a Post Office box in Croydon. 
  With a little digging (using Computer Use (Hacking) or 
  Research (the characters can dig up an email address and 
  a name, Clara Portescue. For more on Clara, see page 261.
  The radio tracker:  This is tuned to the bug hidden in the 
  book’s binding; currently, the book is in a post office van 
  heading to Croydon. The book sits in the post office until 
  the following morning, when it is collected by Clara. She 
  will try to bring it to her great-aunt that day, but is turned 
  away by the institute guards.
  The scrying glass: When activated, this casts a level two 
  Sympathetic Magic spell, allowing the observer to locate the 
  book and see the area immediately around it. Depending on 
  when the characters scry, they see the inside of a post office 
  van, the inside of a lightless box, Clara’s flat, or nothing – 
  the Wildermann Institute is warded against scrying, which 
  is suspicious. A character with Science (Thaumaturgy) 
  instantly realises what iss probably going on. 
  2. Research
  Checking Laundry records at this stage reveals no clues; there 
  are no notable reports of occult activity in South Croydon 
  and Predictive Branch has not picked up on anything. That 
  does not rule out occult activity, but whatever is going on 
  has not tripped any of the Laundry’s early warning systems.
  The Svenborg Chronicle: Both the real and the forged 
  version of the Svenborg Chronicle deal with the ‘angelic 
  visions’ of Karl Svenborg, a Swedish mystic, who claimed 
  that God spoke to him in his dreams and revealed the 
  underlying mathematical symmetry of the universe. Most 
  of the book is a rambling account of these dreams coupled 
  with a lot of very dodgy numerology; to someone with an 
  understanding of modern occult techniques, the book does 
  have the names for summoning and dismissing some forms 
  of demon, but it is useless on its own – you have to already 
  know the requisite spells. The forged Laundry version is 
  defanged – the demon names are changed to null pointers. 
  For the original Chronicle: Sanity Loss 0/1, Cthulhu Mythos 
  +2%, average 4 weeks to study and comprehend. The Laundry 
  version gives only 1% Mythos.
  The Red Lion 
  The Red Lion is a cosy local pub, home to the same dozen 
  regulars every night – at least, it was before the apparition of 
  an ‘alien’ in the bar. Now, in addition to the usual drinkers, 
  there is the London Paranormal Club, a group of alien 
  enthusiasts and amateur researchers. They arrive at the Red 
  Lion shortly before the Player Characters, and the barman 
  (Declan Hassett) initially mistakes the Laundry investigators 
  for more ‘alien weirdos’. 
  Witnesses
  Interviewing the staff and patrons of the Red Lion offers no 
  further clues. Only a handful of people saw the apparition 
  and all of the witnesses were somewhat drunk at the time. 
  The creature appeared, tried to pick a pint off the bar and 
  then vanished again; the whole incident lasted 15 seconds at 
  most. Most of the regulars think it was an alien or a ghost, 
  or maybe a ghost alien. 
  Hassett, the owner of the Red Lion, just wants to milk the 
  whole situation for as much money as possible. He does not 
  believe in aliens or ghosts, but anyone who wants to poke 
  around his pub with strange instruments is welcome to do 
  so, as long as they buy a few drinks first.
  Thaum Readings and Evidence
  There are low levels of thaumic energy lingering in the bar, 
  consistent with some sort of low-level manifestation or 
  spell use. The other physical evidence is in the rubbish – the 
  ‘alien’ dropped the pint glass, which shattered and was then 
  swept up and put in the bin. If the characters dig this glass 
  out of the trash, they find there are strange burn marks on 
  the glass. Examining these burns under a microscope shows 
  that the glass was briefly exposed to a powerful source of 
  ionising radiation – and that there are fingerprints burnt 
  into it. A successful Science (Forensics) roll lifts a workable 
  fingerprint and running that fingerprint through the police 
  database (access to the police database requires an Average 
  Status check) identifies the fingerprint as belonging to a 
  John Cartwright – see The Cartwright Murder, page 260.
  Asking the locals about John Cartwright reveals that he was 
  once a regular here but his mind went a few years ago and 
  his son put him in that big nursing home. 
  The London Paranormal Club
  The four members of the London Paranormal Club – Dave 
  C, Dave M, Brian and Kevin – are here to make contact 
  with aliens. Most alien sightings take place in lonely moors 
  and godforsaken rain-drenched wastelands, so they are 
  rather happy that this particular close encounter happened 
  in a pub. Dave C does most of the talking. He is an earnest 
  young geek, who truly believes that contact with alien life 
  is imminent. He doubts that it will come in the shape of 
  flying saucers and little green men, but hypothesises about 
  starwisps – tiny robots propelled across interstellar distances 
  by high-powered lasers, containing the encoded knowledge 
  of a whole civilisation and the nanoscale fabrication tools 
  to rebuild it on arrival – or beings that exist in higher 
  dimensions or parallel worlds. 
  Play the Paranormal Club for comic relief. If they suspect 
  the characters are government officers, they stalk the 
  characters for the rest of the mission. Fast Talk, Persuade 
  or good roleplaying can throw off their suspicions.
  The greyS
   
  ChapTer TwenTy-FOur
  
  260
  The Laundry
  List of  Sightings
  The Paranormal Club have compiled a list of other 
  incidents in the South Croydon area, which they claim to be 
  the new hotspot for alien activity in Greater London. If the 
  characters befriend the club, zap them with a warrant card 
  or just log on to the LPC’s forums online, they can get a 
  copy of this list (handout #3).
  Hunting Aliens
  The LPC play no further part in this investigation, unless 
  the characters point them at the Wildermann Institute. 
  The space geeks can provide a distraction or give technical 
  support to the characters.
  3. The Cartwright Murder
  The Cartwright’s house on Halling Road is a large 
  detached faux-Georgian townhouse, probably with granite 
  countertops and understatedly expensive decor, with two 
  expensive new cars in the driveway. The property values are 
  somewhat depressed by the police cars parked outside and 
  the crime scene tape across the gate. 
  Oliver Cartwright is a local businessman; he owns a 
  decorating firm and several other small businesses, 
  specialising in renovating old properties and selling them 
  for twice the original price. 
  The Police
  The Laundry’s contact in the Croydon police is DI Sridhar; 
  she is not present at the crime scene but if the characters 
  contact the police station, she can arrange access to the crime 
  scene. She is an ambitious, career-minded policewoman who 
  took the job as Laundry liaison in the belief that contacts in 
  the intelligence services would help her win promotion. She 
  has signed Section III of the Official Secrets Act but has 
  never dealt with the Laundry directly – if the characters are 
  incompetent or strange, she is a lot less supportive and tries 
  to distance herself to protect her career.
  Inside the Cartwright house are half-a-dozen police officers 
  – Scenes of Crime Officers, a uniformed patrolman for 
  security and two detectives interviewing Karen Cartwright. 
  She has not been arrested, but she is the prime suspect. So 
  far, she has continued to stick to her original story – that 
  her husband was murdered in front of her by a ‘grey ghost’. 
  The detective in charge is DI Simons; unless the characters 
  flash a warrant card or have an introduction from DI 
  Sridhar, Simons does not want anyone else mucking up his 
  crime scene. He is a very outspoken officer; characters who 
  try to bluff or bluster their way in are arrested for wasting 
  police time (or just punched in the face if he thinks he can 
  get away with it).
   
  Looking around the well-appointed house, there are a few 
  clues suggesting that an elderly person lives here, such as a 
  stair-lift and several items of clothing. Oliver’s father John 
  Cartwright lived here until a month ago – see John Cartwright.
  Playing Sridhar:
  •	
  Choose your words very carefully in every 
  conversation. Be precise.
  •	
  Demand to be kept appraised of anything the 
  characters do that affects the Cartwright case.
  •	
  Never show emotion other than polite disapproval.
  Playing Simons:
  •	
  Shout, bluster, insult people. Play him like a 
  survivor from an earlier, more abrasive era of 
  policing.
  •	
  Do not take nonsense from anyone. Stand over 
  the characters; push back against them if they try 
  to pull rank.
  •	
  Be defensive of your case. This is your turf. Protect 
  it like a guard dog.
   
  Forensics and Autopsy 
  A search of the house with a thaumometer or other magical 
  sensor picks up low levels of magical energy, similar to 
  those at the Red Lion. The readings are consistent with a 
  demonic manifestation, probably level two, maybe a low-
  energy or heavily constrained level three. There’s no sign 
  of any occult literature or paraphernalia in the house, other 
  than a few self-help books belonging to Karen.
  The characters can either request a copy of the police autopsy 
  once it is complete or go down to the morgue and examine 
  Oliver Cartwright’s corpse themselves with a Medicine roll. 
  The cause of death was asphyxiation and neck trauma, 
  consistent with strangulation. There are burn marks on the 
  neck and arms, roughly where the attacker’s hands would 
  have touched the victim’s skins. The pathologist suggests 
  that the attacker might have been wearing gloves covered 
  in some caustic chemical, but is at a loss to explain why 
  the damage is restricted to the skin and leaves the victim’s 
  clothing undamaged. 
  There are no fibres or other traces of anyone except Karen 
  Cartwright on the corpse. 
  Interviewing Karen Cartwright
  Again, the characters can either wait for the police report or 
  interview the terror-stricken woman herself. She is confused 
  and terrified and the police have had difficulty getting a 
  coherent account of last night’s events out of her. They have 
  discovered that she and her husband were under stress, with 
  Oliver’s treatment of his father John being a major factor. 
  The police suspect that Karen killed Oliver in a momentary 
  outburst of anger and are trying to determine if her account 
  of a ‘murderous ghost’ is a delusion or an attempt to feign 
  madness. Through patience and roleplaying, the characters 
  can learn the following:
  •	
  Oliver’s father John was living with the couple for 
  several years, ever since his wife passed away. John 
  had become increasingly senile over the last two 
  years and often quarrelled with Oliver. 
  •	
  Oliver decided to look into nursing homes for 
  his father, against John’s wishes. They eventually 
  
  261
  24  The GreyS
  compromised on sending John to the nearby 
  Wildermann Institute.
  •	
  The Institute is extremely expensive; the expense 
  coupled with the current recession caused 
  problems for Oliver, which he blamed on his 
  father. Despite the closeness of the Institute, 
  Oliver has not visited his father in months.
  •	
  Karen felt that she was caught between her 
  husband and her father-in-law and resented both 
  of them for forcing her into this position. She and 
  Oliver quarrelled, yet again, about John last night.
  •	
  Around 11:30pm, she heard a noise from the 
  kitchen. She assumed it was Oliver looking for a 
  mixer for his drink, but then she heard a shout 
  and sounds of a struggle. She went to the kitchen 
  immediately, where she saw her husband wrestling 
  with a grey figure. She screamed and the figure 
  vanished, dropping Oliver to the ground. 
  •	
  She immediately called an ambulance, but by the 
  time the emergency services arrived, Oliver was 
  gone.
  •	
  How is she going to tell John? The shock of 
  learning about his son’s death might kill him… 
  or worse, if he is having a bad spell, the old man 
  might not even care.
  Playing Karen: 
  •	
  Look down, hide your face, play nervously with 
  your hands.
  •	
  Mention John Cartwright a lot; her mind has 
  seized on the problem of telling her father-in-law 
  about Oliver’s death as a defence mechanism, so 
  she does not have to think about the death itself.
  •	
  Break down in tears randomly.
  John Cartwright
  Oliver’s father John (73) lived in this area of London for 
  his whole life. He was a regular drinker at the Red Lion. He 
  and his son never got on; Oliver had much more ambition 
  than his father and soon there was a social gulf between 
  the two that neither of them was willing to bridge. The one 
  connection between John and his son was John’s wife, but 
  when she died, there was nothing left to build a relationship 
  on. John’s growing senility exacerbated the rift.
  John is currently a resident of the Wildermann Institute, in 
  the special ward.
  Clearing Karen
  Unless the characters intervene (or, more accurately, get the 
  Laundry to intervene at a higher level), Karen Cartwright 
  is arrested and charged with the murder of her husband; 
  this charge will be reduced to manslaughter on the grounds 
  of diminished responsibility as Karen sticks to her story, 
  leading others to conclude she is insane. Either way, her life 
  is ruined forever without the Laundry’s intercession.
  4. Clara Portescue
  The copy of the Svenborg Chronicle tagged by the Laundry 
  was bought by Clara Portescue. She is 18 years old, in a gap 
  year between school and university. Her parents live outside 
  London; as far as they know, she has moved to London for 
  a few months to take care of her eccentric great-aunt.
  Playing Clara: 
  •	
  Be confident and outspoken. She is educated, 
  determined and was born with a silver spoon in 
  her mouth; she has never encountered a problem 
  she could not deal with.
  •	
  Speak with a posh accent and maintain a good 
  posture.
  Edith Portescue is still the black sheep of her family, even 
  if she is pushing 80 years of age. They are an old money 
  family (Edith, the eldest daughter, spent a large chunk of 
  it) and are still rich enough for Edith to be called eccentric 
  instead of crazy. What else can you say of a woman who 
  was an amateur occult investigator, who thwarted cults and 
  hunted monsters for kicks? Edith ‘retired’ from her hobby 
  in the 1970s, but still dabbles in the occult. She also exerts 
  strong influence over the more impressionable members of 
  the younger generations of her family, especially Clara.
  One of Edith’s old friends (but not one of her fellow 
  occultists), an antiquarian named Collins, is another resident 
  of the Wildermann Institute. When Edith last visited him, 
  she became suspicious about the techniques used in the 
  institute and decided that the best approach would be to go 
  in undercover. She recruited young Clara to be her backup.
  Amateur Spies
  Clara is currently staying in a flat paid for by Edith. Twice 
  a week, Clara visits the Wildermann Institute to check in 
  on Edith; the two have a system of coded messages based 
  on Edith’s clothing to communicate when they suspect 
  eavesdropping (red cardigan means danger, combined with 
  green skirt it means occult danger and so on). The rest 
  of the time, Clara researches the Wildermann Institute or 
  reads Edith’s diaries and occult books, which are stored in 
  the flat. She also has a shotgun that she has no idea how 
  to use (licensed to her father and it should be stored in a 
  gun cupboard in Kent, not stowed under a bed in a flat in 
  Croydon). 
  Breaking Into The Flat: If the characters trace the Svenborg 
  Chronicle via the tracking device, it leads them to Clara’s flat. 
  The flat’s security is no challenge (Easy Fine Manipulation 
  to pick the lock, or the characters can suborn the building 
  manager). 
  Clara’s Computer: On this computer, Clara keeps her 
  notes and research. She has discovered several key facts 
  about the Wildermann Institute (see Research, page 265); 
  she also used this computer to buy the Chronicle and to talk 
  to her parents and friends. 
  The greyS
   
  ChapTer TwenTy-FOur
  
  262
  The Laundry
  The Books: Edith’s collection of occult books is 
  surprisingly good for a civilian and includes several books 
  that the Laundry prefers to keep out of the public sphere. 
  Edith’s diaries are even more interesting, describing her 
  adventures as an occult investigator from 1961 to 1973. 
  Edith’s diaries: Sanity Loss 0/1d3, Cthulhu Mythos +2%, 4 
  weeks. 
  Visiting Great-Aunt Edith
  Unless the characters intervene, Clara takes the Svenborg 
  Chronicle to Edith on the afternoon of the first day of the 
  mission. See Events, page 265.
  Contacting the Parents
  The characters can easily dig up contact details for Clara’s 
  parents; they know that she is in London and believe she is 
  staying with her elderly and eccentric great-aunt. They are 
  not happy about the arrangement.
  Questioning Clara Portescue
  Clara may initially suspect that the characters are agents of 
  the Wildermann Institute if they arouse her suspicions. She 
  has no idea about the existence of the Laundry, but her 
  great-aunt told her to watch out for cultists; if the characters 
  are too intimidating, she may even go for that shotgun or 
  call the police. If they take a softer approach, then Clara is 
  willing to co-operate as long as she can still help her great-
  aunt.
  Unless the characters bring up the topic of the occult, then 
  Clara’s cover story is that her great-aunt Edith suspects 
  abuse and mistreatment of patients in the Wildermann 
  Institute, but lacks any proof. She has therefore booked 
  herself into the home undercover and Clara is here to keep 
  an eye on things from outside. If asked about the Svenborg 
  Chronicle, she awkwardly claims that Edith has an odd taste 
  in books.
  If the characters attempt to stop Clara from visiting Edith, 
  or interfere with her great-aunt’s plans, she protests and 
  may even contact the police. Unless recruited as an ally, the 
  characters have to deal with the teenager and her shotgun.
  Edith’s File
  The Laundry has a file on Edith Portescue; she was under 
  investigation as a potential security risk in the 1960s and 
  1970s and was involved in some incident codeworded as 
  CASE MAGENTA WELL, which is still classified. Reading 
  between the lines of one report, the characters can work 
  out that someone in the Laundry deliberately protected 
  Edith and ensured she was not liquidated or recruited. (She 
  actually had an affair with the Laundry officer assigned to 
  her case; his name was Justin Holstock and he died four 
  years ago. Edith never learned who he was or who he 
  worked for, but has seen the Laundry warrant card before.)
  5. The Wildermann Institute
  The Wildermann Institute for Elderly Care is located 
  in a beautiful Regency-era country house, although the 
  countryside that once surrounded it has been swallowed up 
  by the growing city. It has three acres of gardens and lawns 
  surrounded by a high wall; a tranquil island of calm. The 
  original owners of the house sold it to a charitable trust 
  in the 1930s and the house was temporarily seized by the 
  War Office during WWII. The Wildermann Institute took 
  over from the charitable trust in the mid-80s; in 2001, the 
  building was renovated, turning it from a comfortable 
  nursing home to a combination of care home and medical 
  research centre. The main visible change was the addition 
  of a research laboratory and medical suite, including an 
  MRI machine.
  There were other changes too, but the Institute did 
  not advertise these. When it comes to selling points 
  for retirement homes, ‘demon night nurses’, ‘runes of 
  destruction’ and ‘invocation grids’ are not included on the 
  glossy brochures. 
  Staff  
  There are 14 nurses and orderlies on staff, two doctors and 
  12 other personnel (cleaning, maintenance, administration 
  and security) at the Institute. At least, that is the number on 
  the payroll. There are also the four night nurses, summoned 
  guardian demons in approximations of the human form. 
  Dr. Alex Lewis: The head of the Wildermann Institute is 
  Dr. Alex Lewis. His work on neurology caught the attention 
  of TLA Corporation, who then arranged for him to take 
  over the institute. His original brief was to use dementia 
  patients as demon hosts, to study the effects of long-term 
  possession. It is debatable how sane Lewis is; he is using 
  possessed geriatrics as stepping stones towards a quixotic 
  form of immortality, but he is not a diabolical cultist. He 
  wants to see the triumph of humanity (well, the triumph of 
  himself, the TLA Corporation, its staff and shareholders 
  and its customers, in that order) and he believes that he has 
  partially cured the dementia of his patients using demons.
  Playing Dr. Lewis: 
  •	
  You believe that you are the smartest person in any 
  room. Talk fast, spout jargon and try to impress 
  people.
  •	
  Be enthusiastic. Yes, you are experimenting on 
  people and summoning demons, but it is cool 
  and you genuinely believe that your research will 
  ultimately have positive results. Geniuses often 
  go unappreciated in their time – you are the 
  Louis Pasteur of demonology and this is just like 
  injecting cowpox into little girls.
  •	
  Talk with your hands, move around a lot. Have a 
  lot of nervous energy.
  Dr. Leah Stuart: Dr. Stuart is the other doctor in the 
  Institute; she is older than Dr. Lewis and was nonplussed to 
  have some young upstart parachuted in on top of her, for 
  which she (correctly) blames the new owners. 
  
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  24  The GreyS
  Dr. Stuart knows too much about the occult research 
  underway in the Wildermann Institute, so Lewis took 
  precautions. Stuart is possessed by a sleeper demon, 
  imprinted with Lewis’ own personality. When a command 
  word is spoken, the demon awakens and takes hold of 
  Stuart’s body. Since creating a demon copy of his own 
  mind, Lewis’ research has progressed in leaps and bounds 
  and he spends hours talking to himself/herself. 
  Playing Dr. Stuart:
  •	
  Play Stuart as a contrast to Lewis; she is tired and 
  speaks it a low monotone.
  •	
  Be friendly, but not overly so. Express care for 
  your patients.
  •	
  When possessed, use the same verbal tics you used 
  for Lewis.
   
  Security Director Banks: Banks is a burly American ex-
  mercenary who is completely and utterly out of place in 
  a small, quiet retirement home. His role is to keep an eye 
  on Dr. Lewis and protect TLA’s investment. If the whole 
  operation is in danger of being uncovered, his orders 
  are to deal with the investigators if possible and destroy 
  the evidence if not (by burning down the Institute after 
  recovering a copy of Lewis’ research). 
  Banks is not possessed, but he does have occult defences 
  and weapons. TLA has briefed him about the Laundry and 
  a Laundry investigation of the Wildermann Institute is one 
  of the scenarios he has trained for.
  Playing Banks:
  •	
  Suspect everyone.
  •	
  Keep one eye on the door and keep your back to 
  the wall. 
  •	
  Flex your fingers, as if readying yourself for action.
  •	
  Use military jargon with a thin coating of corporate 
  doublespeak. ‘I’m sorry, sir, I am required to eject you 
  from the premises at this time. If  you fail to co-operate, I 
  will call the authorities or remove you myself.’
  Residents
  Currently, there are 32 residents in the Institute. Twelve 
  of these are undergoing experimental treatment in the 
  secure wing. Most are long-term residents, who are here 
  indefinitely; there are six patients who are in the Institute on 
  a temporary basis, for convalescence or medical treatment. 
  Almost all of the residents are suffering from some form 
  of dementia or senility; they no longer remember family 
  or friends, or hold conversations with imagined figures 
  from their childhoods. They may become agitated when 
  confused or accept everything with placid politeness and 
  bewilderment.
  Edith Portescue: Some days, Edith Portescue looks in 
  the mirror and screams. She never wanted to grow old. 
  Inside, she is still a rebellious child; she did everything 
  she could to kick back against her family name (while still 
  taking advantage of it) and even dabbled in a field that is 
  supposed to be absurdly lethal – she was an amateur occult 
  investigator, for heaven’s sake. That is supposed to get you 
  killed quickly, not leave you to linger on, watching all of your 
  friends wither and die. She is still devilishly charming and 
  quick-witted, but there is an edge of vituperative bitterness 
  to some of her quips now. 
  This expedition into the Wildermann Institute is Edith’s last 
  hurrah. She does not really care too much about Collins; she 
  just misses the thrill of investigation and intrigue.
  Note that at some point during the mission, Edith is 
  transferred to the secure wing – see Events, page 265.
  Meeting Edith: Edith is waiting for her grand-niece to turn 
  up with that copy of the Svalborg Chronicle – parts of the 
  chronicle deal with demonic possession and Edith suspects 
  that that is exactly what is going on here in the Wildermann 
  Institute. Unfortunately, her conception of the occult is still 
  stuck in the past – she suspects that the retirement home 
  was built on a Satanic burial ground or something, not that 
  there is a custom-built Beowulf Cluster in the treatment 
  room running a Dee-Hamilton program. 
  Playing Edith: 
  •	
  You are taking advantage of your age to act a little 
  dotty, despite your keen wits. What is the point of 
  being old and rich if you cannot have a little fun?
  •	
  You think you know everything about the occult 
  and how to handle yourself; you don’t, but that 
  self-confidence has brought you through worse 
  situations than this in the past.
  •	
  When the chips are down, take charge. Snap orders 
  and expect to be obeyed.
  John Cartwright: John Cartwright is one of the patients 
  undergoing special treatment in the secure wing – his 
  body is possessed by a soul-eating demon that is geased to 
  masquerade as the original tenant. As such, ‘John Cartwright’ 
  knows everything that the real Cartwright did, but it is all 
  filtered through the inhuman perspective of a demon. 
  During the brief gaps in the warding spells at 11:30pm, 
  Cartwright slips out of the host body like a tulpa. In this 
  form it manifested in the Red Lion pub three days before 
  the mission begins and it killed Oliver Cartwright last night.
  Meeting John: John is kept in the Secure Wing as one of 
  the possessed patients, so the characters only get to meet 
  him if they get into that ward or if they convince the 
  Institute staff that they have a very good reason for seeing 
  him. ‘Your son was murdered last night’ qualifies as a good 
  reason. Cartwright is brought down to a Visiting Room to 
  speak with the characters; they get to enjoy the experience 
  of being in a very cosy room with a possessed man.
  Playing John: 
  •	
  You are possessed – hold your body slightly 
  awkwardly and try to relax your face. 
  •	
  Seize onto phrases and repeat them, like a stuck 
  tape.
  •	
  Watch the players hungrily. Make them feel 
  uncomfortable in your presence.
  The greyS
   
  ChapTer TwenTy-FOur
  
  264
  The Laundry
  Arthur Collins: An antiquarian and a friend of Edith’s, 
  Collins no longer recognises anyone. He spends his days 
  sitting in the sun looking out at the gardens and occasionally 
  asking for a cup of tea, which he never drinks. 
  Layout of  the Institute
  Main Entrance: All visitors must pass through these 
  automated gates. There is an intercom to contact reception 
  at the gates; regular visitors and staff have keys. 
  Gardens: Residents may, if they wish, walk through the 
  lawns and gardens of the Institute. There are usually a 
  few residents outside during the day, in the company of a 
  nurse. If Lewis suspects trouble, then he sends some of 
  the possessed residents out to keep an eye on security. 
  Basement: The basement contains the house’s heating 
  system and storerooms. Beneath the secure wing is the lair 
  of the Night Nurses (see page 265), an old cellar room now 
  filled with nests of soiled bandages and webbing. This door 
  is kept locked from the inside during the day, unless the 
  Night Nurses are summoned by an alarm.
  Ground Floor: Reception, the day room, the dining room, 
  visiting rooms and most of the resident’s rooms. The whole 
  place smells of disinfectant and boiled vegetables; the décor 
  is pastel bland and restful. There are grab rails and alarm 
  buttons on every wall. There are also security cameras 
  everywhere.
  Visitors to the Institute must call at reception first. If they 
  are here to see a resident, then they must wait until the 
  resident is brought to the visiting room or the resident’s 
  bedroom, to ensure the other patients are not disturbed. 
  Maintaining a controlled, restful environment is considered 
  vital to Dr. Lewis’ treatment regime.
  Upper Floor: Kitchens, nurse’s rooms, Dr. Stuart’s office, 
  physiotherapy, security office and administration. There are 
  also a few residents’ rooms upstairs, for those patients who 
  can still manage the stairs.
  The Secure Wing
  The secure wing is a modern addition to the old house, built 
  at the rest of the original building. It is not visible from 
  the front gardens. On the ground floor of the secure wing 
  are the doctor’s offices and the medical centre. A lift leads 
  to the upper floor of the secure wing, where there is the 
  ‘secure ward’ and the ‘treatment room’.
  Entrance to the Secure Wing: There are two doors into 
  the secure wing – one from the ground floor of the main 
  building and the other is an emergency fire exit. Both doors 
  are kept locked; to access the secure wing, a swipe card and 
  four-digit pin are required. Characters can obtain these from 
  a nurse or from Dr. Stuart, or bypass the security system 
  with a Difficult Technical Use (Security systems) roll. 
  Dr. Lewis’ Office: Dr. Lewis’ office is the most sterile 
  environment of the whole nursing home; there is nothing 
  there that has a trace of personality. There are no pictures 
  of family, no favourite books or curios, nothing except a 
  shelf of reference works in a locked cabinet and a desktop 
  computer. Hacking into the computer (with a Difficult 
  Computer Use (Hacking) check) gets a copy of his research 
  notes.
  The Medical Centre: The medical centre is a well-
  equipped diagnostic suite, including an MRI machine. It is 
  several cuts above what one would expect to find in the 
  average care home. If the room is searched, the characters 
  discover an inactive containment circle built into the ceiling 
  of the room, around the MRI. 
  The Secure Ward: The secure ward has a dozen beds in it. 
  Each bed has restraints to keep the patient confined. There 
  are catheters, feeding drips and monitoring equipment 
  for each patient. Above each bed is a flatscreen computer 
  monitor that displays a constantly shifting fractal that a 
  character with Science (Thaumaturgy) recognises as a 
  psychic drain. A human who stared into that abyss for too 
  long would become listless and uninspired; it can also be 
  used to dampen the powers of a supernatural entity.
  Each bed is surrounded by a charged area ward. These 
  wards are rings of sterile white plastic and metal, marked 
  with occult runes. A heavy switch next to each bed activates 
  the ward; the wards are left on at all times, except when 
  the patient is being attended to by a nurse. If the patient 
  has to be moved, and Dr. Lewis is not sure of the demon’s 
  tractability, then a binding talisman is used to boost the 
  effectiveness of the geas (see page 140).
  The 12 patients in this ward are all possessed by imprinted 
  demons. They are kept lightly sedated most of the day. At 
  11:30pm each night, a nurse gives each patient a stronger 
  sedative. The protective wards are deactivated during this 
  time, which allowed John Cartwright to slip out of his host 
  body and murder his son.
  The Treatment Room: Only Lewis and Stuart are allowed 
  in here (and Stuart is possessed by the Lewis-demon when 
  in this room). The room is kept locked and secured at all 
  times and only Lewis knows the passcode. The treatment 
  room contains a summoning grid and a dedicated Dee-
  Hamilton invocation system, together with an extremely 
  powerful geas generator. 
  The geas generator is connected to a gilt-edged mirror; 
  a Knowledge (Occult) or Sorcery roll suggests that the 
  resulting geas would be a reflective one, possibly forcing 
  the target to magically obey itself. It is a technique that is 
  sometimes used to protect against hostile geases, like the 
  Warrant Card, but the geas generator here is an absurdly 
  powerful one. 
  The geas is connected to magical tokens (small twisted 
  pieces of bone, faintly resembling a caduceus) – anyone 
  holding such a token can command the possessed patients 
  and the Night Nurses. Dr. Lewis and Banks both have 
  tokens.
  
  265
  24  The GreyS
  Defences
  Getting into the Wildermann Institute is not that hard 
  – it is a retirement home, not an evil overlord’s fortress. 
  Getting out again, though, is a bit more of a challenge. If the 
  characters appear threatening, then Dr. Lewis can employ 
  more dangerous methods to defend the Institute. However, 
  the most likely response to any intruder is to call the police 
  – more extreme methods are only used if there is a chance 
  that the Secure Wing might be compromised.
  Alarms: All external doors in the Institute are alarmed. 
  There are also panic buttons in every room; hitting the 
  button once triggers a silent alarm in the nurse’s day room 
  and the security office, hitting it twice triggers an audible 
  alarm and holding it down awakens the Night Nurses. 
  Security Cameras: There are security cameras in every 
  room, even the residents’ own rooms. There are also 
  cameras at the main gate and overlooking the grounds. The 
  cameras at the main gate and overlooking the grounds have 
  built-in scrying circuits, allowing the observer to see magical 
  fields and active spells. 
  Orderlies: There are four male orderlies on staff who 
  respond to alarm calls, belligerent residents or unwanted 
  guests. A character that makes trouble is thrown out or 
  restrained by the orderlies. 
  The Night Nurses: There are four Night Nurses in the 
  basement of the secure wing. At night, these creatures are 
  released to tend to the patients and patrol the grounds. The 
  residents are all terrified of the Night Nurses. The creatures 
  are under the command of anyone holding a command 
  talisman; Dr. Lewis and Security Officer Banks both possess 
  such talismans.
  Research
  A few hours of Research turns up several facts about the 
  Wildermann Institute. At the GM’s discretion, characters 
  can substitute other skills for research on specific topics, 
  such as Medicine for medical gossip, Bureaucracy for 
  financial details and so on.
  	
  y
  The Wildermann Institute was founded in the 
  1950s to research senility and gerontological 
  diseases. It moved to its current home in the 
  1980s. Over time, the Institute’s original research 
  goals have largely been abandoned in favour of 
  simply providing care to the patients; it has not 
  published a research paper in 20 years.
  	
  y
  The Institute was taken over by a holding 
  company, International Holdings, in 1997. Tracing 
  the money back through several layers reveals that 
  International Holdings is ultimately owned by 
  TLA Corporation.
  	
  y
  The current director, Dr. Lewis, is considered to 
  be quite brilliant; why he is working in such an 
  obscure post is a mystery.
  	
  y
  A new wing was added to the Institute in 2001, at 
  a cost of several million pounds.
  	
  y
  All of the Wildermann Institute’s National Health 
  paperwork is in order but there is very little 
  mention of the new wing; either the assessors did 
  not do their job correctly or most of the new wing 
  is not used for medical care.
  Getting Into The Institute
  There are several likely ways to approach the Institute. 
  The Direct Approach: Marching in waving warrant cards 
  is one option. If the characters reveal that they are from the 
  Laundry (or their occult items are detected by the security 
  cameras), then Dr. Lewis meets them in one of the visiting 
  rooms. See Dr. Lewis, I Presume, on page 266.
   
  The Subtle Approach: The characters can pretend to be 
  visiting a resident, like Edith Portescue. They are less likely 
  to be detected using this method, but are more limited as 
  to where they can go inside the Institute. They are likely to 
  only see the reception area, a corridor and the inside of the 
  visiting room. Still, it is a good form of reconnaissance. 
  The Stealthy Approach: Sneaking into the grounds 
  requires dealing with the security cameras and avoiding 
  any guards or possessed residents. All external doors and 
  windows are alarmed, so the characters have to disable the 
  alarm systems before breaking in.
  The Bureaucratic Approach: The characters can disguise 
  themselves as National Health inspectors to gain access 
  to the Institute; in the past, Dr. Lewis has used the geas 
  generator to deal with unwanted bureaucrats.
  6. Events
  Trigger these events as needed; some are responses to 
  the actions of the Player Characters, others happen 
  independently.
  The Svenborg Chronicle Arrives: It is delivered to a post 
  office box; Clara picks it up from there and brings it to her 
  flat for a few hours.
  Clara visits Edith: She takes the Svenborg Chronicle with her 
  and leaves it with her great-aunt. Edith’s colour signals are 
  ‘keep a close watch and come back tomorrow’.
  The Police visit the Institute: While Clara is at the 
  Institute, DC Simons and a female constable visit the 
  Institute to speak with John Cartwright. Dr. Lewis meets 
  with them and explains that Mr. Cartwright is undergoing 
  treatment and is not lucid enough to understand anything 
  they tell him. They agree to return the following day.
  Edith is transferred to the Secure Ward: During the 
  night, the Night Nurses take Edith to the Secure Ward, 
  where a demon devours her mind and imprints on her. Her 
  copy of the Svenborg Chronicle is given to Dr. Lewis, who 
  locks it in a safe in his office. 
  The greyS
   
  ChapTer TwenTy-FOur
  
  266
  The Laundry
  Lewis Heightens Security: Suspecting that Edith is not 
  acting alone, Lewis orders Banks to increase security in the 
  Institute. Three of the possessed residents are allowed out 
  of the special ward under the supervision of a nurse, as the 
  possessed residents can sense intruders better than a normal 
  human. The Night Nurses are commanded to be ready at a 
  moment’s notice instead of slumbering all day; anyone in 
  the Institute hears things scrabbling under the floorboards.
  Clara Tries To Visit Edith: Two days after delivering the 
  Svenborg Chronicle, Clara returns to the Institute, where she is 
  told that her great-aunt has taken a turn for the worse and 
  is undergoing Dr. Lewis’ treatment – Edith is in isolation, 
  please come back tomorrow. Clara protests, but to no avail 
  and is escorted out of the Institute.
  That night, she sneaks back into the grounds of the Institute, 
  where she runs into a Night Nurse and is devoured unless 
  the Player Characters are there to save her.
  Lewis Frees The Demon: If Dr. Lewis suspects that the 
  Wildermann Institute is in danger, then he takes the unwise 
  step of awakening the slumbering demon bound to his 
  colleague, Dr. Stuart. His reasoning is that two copies of 
  himself can protect the institute better than one. He gives 
  Dr. Stuart a command token, so Stuart can command the 
  other possessed patients and the Night Nurses. 
  7. The Confrontation
  All avenues of investigation lead to the secure ward and 
  Dr. Lewis’ occult experiments. The finale confrontation of 
  the scenario depends on how the characters approach the 
  situation. Layer crisis on top of crisis: ideally, the characters 
  are bargaining with Dr. Lewis when the demon possessing 
  Stuart goes rogue, and while the Institute is under attack by 
  possessed geriatrics, Banks tries to burn it down and flee 
  with the research files, but shuffle and deal problems in 
  response to the players’ actions.
  Dr. Lewis, I Presume
  If the characters reveal themselves to be from the Laundry, 
  or confront him unexpectedly, then his Plan A is to stall 
  until a crack team of TLA Corporation (UK) rabid attack 
  lawyers arrives. He offers them a copy of his research notes 
  and explains the potential benefits for all humanity.
  ‘Look, I’ll admit that the original research wasn’t beneficial. They 
  wanted me to study the effects of  possession on human subjects, and 
  my employers thought that this was a suitable controlled environment. 
  It’s all in the dossier, there, but basically I invoked infovores – 
  what you’d call Eaters of  Souls – but rather than let the exonome 
  consume the personality of  the host, I compelled it through a Dee-
  Church compulsion list to emulate the personality. The exnome has the 
  personality traits and memories of  the host brain. 
  Think about it, though – by imprinting personalities onto the 
  exonomes, I’ve cured these people. The exonome can use undamaged 
  parts of  the brain to emulate the human personality. 
  There are huge benefits for any forms of  brain injury, obviously, but 
  that’s just the start. If  the human mind can be uploaded to another 
  storage medium, then that opens up the possibility of  mind transfer, 
  of  immortality… I know the Black Chamber has experimented with 
  remote operation, but that still keeps the human brain in the loop. My 
  research offers the potential to break the mind-body link, to untether 
  us from the flesh.
  And I am authorised to share this with you. TLA Corporation (UK) 
  intends to patent the techniques under discussion, such as exonomic 
  personality imprint, reflective geas reinforcement and immortality, 
  but in exchange for your continued co-operation in this matter, TLA 
  Corporation is prepared to negotiate a non-exclusive license with your 
  organisation. A legal team is already en route, but I need to inform my 
  superiors now if  we’re going to go down this road.’
  The characters can choose to take this information back to 
  the Laundry – it is horribly unethical research that would 
  make Dr. Mengele think twice; it is flawed and Dr. Lewis is 
  slimy, self-serving and delusional, but he is definitely onto 
  something. The characters can just bring this information to 
  the Laundry and walk away from the case. 
  If the players bring up the murder of Oliver Cartwright, 
  then Lewis categorically denies that his patients could be 
  involved.
  If the players ask if the demons can be exorcised from the 
  patients, then Lewis shrugs. It is theoretically possible, yes 
  but at this point the exonomic entity (he refuses to use the 
  term ‘demon’) is the only mind in the body. Banishing the 
  entity would just leave the patient in a persistent vegetative 
  state. The act of copying the personality onto the exonome 
  destroys the original. He is working on a non-destructive 
  method of copying – Dr. Stuart is the test subject for this 
  technique. Of course, the demon version of Dr. Lewis 
  inhabiting Dr. Stuart has no desire to be banished; if anyone 
  suggests doing so, the demon attacks (skip onto Invasion of  
  the Greys).
  Breaking Down Doors
  If the characters take the direct approach and try to break 
  into the Institute to find out what is going on or to rescue 
  Edith, then they have to deal with the Institute’s defences 
  – Banks, the Night Nurses and the possessed patients. 
  As soon as the demons come into play, the situation goes 
  rapidly downhill. The possessed patients are slow and not 
  especially tough, but do the characters really want to start 
  shooting pensioners? The Nurses are a lot more dangerous, 
  but at least you can open up on them without feeling like 
  you are blasting someone’s granny.
  If the characters do go after Edith Portescue, remember 
  that she is now possessed – she may appear to be her old 
  self, but there is a demon lurking behind her eyes. 
  
  267
  24  The GreyS
  Asset Extraction 
  If Banks decides that the Wildermann Institute is about to 
  be exposed, his orders are:
  	y
  Get a copy of Dr. Lewis’ latest research from the 
  treatment room.
  	y
  Wipe the servers.
  	y
  Head down to the basement and trigger an 
  incendiary charge that sets the building on fire. 
  The ensuing blaze will be mistaken for a gas fire.
  	y
  If possible, kill Dr. Lewis and any other witnesses 
  on the way out.
  	y
  Head to a nearby safehouse, disguise yourself as 
  a tourist, head to Heathrow Airport and take the 
  first flight going anywhere. 
  	y
  From there, return the research to TLA and then 
  vanish.
  If the characters get in the way of any part of that plan, 
  then Banks has no compunction about using lethal force. 
  Ultimately, he is a survivor without any moral qualms. 
  Invasion of  the Greys
  Dr. Stuart has a control token.
  Dr. Stuart is possessed by a demon. 
  These are two facts that should never go together.
  The possessed patients may be able to act like their imprinted 
  personalities, but they are not humans. Like other demons, 
  they desire to consume more hosts and more processing 
  power. While under Lewis’ geas spell their actions are 
  limited, but now the possessed Dr. Stuart can set them free.
  To do so, she needs to deactivate the binding circles in the 
  secure ward (easily done by flipping a power switch) and 
  break the geas with the control token.
  If the possessed patients are set loose, then everyone in the 
  Institute is attacked. Some are eaten; others dragged back to 
  the Treatment room to be made into hosts. Dr. Lewis has 
  inadvertently created a new breed of demon, one that can 
  act human for long enough to trap a potential host. 
  The characters can thwart the demonic outbreak by 
  exorcising the patients, by calling in the Plumbers (and 
  surviving until they get there) or by making their way to 
  the Treatment Room in the secure ward and reactivating 
  the geas.  
  Aftermath
  If the characters are able to discover the origin of the 
  mysterious apparitions and shut the Wildermann Institute 
  down, it is worth a +1d4% increase to Status. Increase this 
  to +1d6% if the matter was handled quietly or if they were 
  able to capture Dr. Lewis and/or his research.
  The greyS
   
  ChapTer TwenTy-FOur
  ATMOSPHErE AND ACTION
  If – ok, when – when the nursing 
  home descends into a chaotic brawl 
  of mad scientists, try to keep the 
  action fast-paced and confusing. 
  Elements to consider:
  •	 There are more than 20 non-
  possessed patients and staff in 
  the Institute who have no idea 
  what is going on. There will 
  be plenty of panic and running 
  around.
  •	 The possessed patients can hide 
  among the normal ones; noticing 
  the 
  telltale 
  ‘eyes 
  full 
  of 
  twisting glowing worms’ requires 
  a successful Spot check.
  •	 The Institute is a maze of wide 
  corridors and small rooms, all 
  smelling of disinfectant. It is 
  like running around a Victorian 
  hospital.
  •	 Banks is a trained mercenary; 
  he has spent years fighting in 
  hellholes in Africa and the 
  Middle East. Take that sort of 
  fighting and transplant it to a 
  nursing home.
  •	 As John Cartwright demonstrated, 
  the 
  possessed 
  patients 
  are 
  capable of temporarily leaving 
  their host bodies and manifesting 
  as tulpas. In this form, they 
  are immune to physical attacks.
  
  268
  The Laundry
  If there was significant loss of life, then the characters lose 
  1d4 Sanity. If they managed to resolve the situation without 
  any unavoidable casualties, give them 1d6 Sanity.
  Saving Clara is worth 1d4 Sanity; more if the players roleplay 
  well with her and help her deal with her great-aunt’s death. 
  Ensuring that Karen Cartwright is not charged with her 
  husband’s murder is worth another 1d4 Sanity.
  NPCs
  Dr. Alex Lewis
  STR 9 
  CON 12 SIZ 11 
  INT 17 
  POW 13
  DEX 12 CHA 10 EDU 18 SAN 50 
  HP 12
  Damage Bonus: +0
  Weapons: Syringe 40%, damage 1 + sedation (POT20)
  Skills: Computer Use (Magic) 60%, Fast Talk 45%, 
  Medicine (Neurology) 80%, Sorcery 50%, Spot 40%.
  Artefacts: Command Talisman, Level Two Ward
  Dr. Leah Stuart
  STR 11 
   CON 13    SIZ 10 INT 16/17 POW 10/13
  DEX 11/8 CHA 13/10 EDU 16/18 SAN 40 
  Values after the / mark denote her INT, POW, DEX and 
  EDU when possessed by ‘Lewis’.
  Damage Bonus: +0  
   
  HP 12
  Weapons: Fist/Punch 30%, damage 1d3
  Skills: Insight 50%, Medicine (Gerontology) 75%.
  Security Officer Banks
  STR 16 
  CON 17 SIZ 17 
  INT 13 
  POW 11
  DEX 13 CHA 9 
  EDU 14 SAN 50 
  HP 17
  Damage Bonus: +1d6
  Weapons: Fist/Punch 60%, damage 1d3+damage bonus 
  Handgun 65%, damage 1d10
  Skills: Demolition 40%, Disguise 50%, Dodge 50%, 
  Listen 60%, Sense 40%, Spot 65%, Stealth 60%, Strategy 
  55%.
  Artefacts: Level Two Ward, Command Talisman, 
  Armour: Concealed Ballistic Vest (Armour 4/8 vs bullets)
  Creatures
  Night Nurse (Level Three Demon)
  The Night Nurses are summoned horrors that protect the 
  Institute at night. They are humanoid in shape but their 
  limbs are angular and bend strangely. They have no hands 
  or feet – they balance on narrow stumps and wear white 
  gloves that move as though filled with maggots. They have 
  no faces, just the shadowy suggestion of facial features. 
  They wear nurse’s uniforms and from a distance in a dim 
  room could almost be mistaken for something human. 
  When they speak, the mouth does not move – the buzzing 
  voice emanates from somewhere within the nurse’s chest 
  (or, given their insectoid nature, it could be her thorax…).
  NIGHT NURSE, Just A Bad Dream
  STR 14 
  CON 16 SIZ 10  
  INT 6 
  POW 12
  DEX 16
  Move: 10   
   
  HP: 13
  Average Damage Bonus: +1d4
  Weapons:  Syringe 40%, damage 1 + poison (usually 
  Strychnine); Pincer stab 35, damage 1d6+damage bonus 
  Armour:  2-point hide
  Skills: First Aid 40%, Grapple 60%, Hide 30%, Jump 
  60%, Stealth 60%.
  Sanity Loss: 0/1d6
  Imprinted Patient (Level two Demon)
  These unfortunate creatures are the possessed residents of 
  the Wildermann Institute, geased into acting human.
  Tulpa Form: An Imprinted Patient with a POW of 15 
  or higher may manifest a Tulpa form. The Tulpa form 
  has the same SIZ, INT and POW as the original but is a 
  non-material projection and cannot be stopped by physical 
  barriers or injured by weapons. Maintaining the Tulpa 
  requires a Stamina check every round. If the Tulpa touches 
  a living creature, that creature suffers 1d8 burn damage. 
  Characteristic 
   
  Rolls 
   
  Averages
  STR 
   
   
  3d6–3 
   
  7–9 
  CON 
   
   
  3d6–3 
   
  7–9
  SIZ 
   
   
  2d6+4  
  11
  INT 
   
   
  2d6+4  
  11
  POW 
   
   
  3d6 
   
  10–11
  DEX 
   
   
  3d6–3 
   
  7–9
  Move 4  
   
  HP: 10
  Average Damage Bonus: –1d4
  Weapons: Crutch or zimmerframe 25%, damage 
  1d4+damage bonus; Claw 20%, damage 1d6 + damage 
  bonus
  Skills: Continence 40%, Listen 40%, Spot 40%.
  Sanity Loss: 0/1d3
  
  269
  24  The GreyS
  Handout #3 – list of  ‘UFO’ sightings 
  Date
  Event
  Time
  Two weeks ago
  Power failure across area
  11:25pm
  Ten days ago
  Television signal distorted
  11.32pm
  Six days ago
  Strange light in sky
  6.30am
  Five days ago
  Report of ‘ghost’ on High Street
  11.40pm
  Three days ago
  Full-torso manifestation in Red Lion
  11.30 pm
  The greyS
   
  ChapTer TwenTy-FOur
  MARTIAN ORDERS PINT IN LOCAL PUB
  Phone a taxi for ET, he’s pissed!!!
  Late-night drinkers at the 
  Red Lion on High Street 
  were shocked when the 
  pub was invaded by a 
  very strange customer 
  from the stars. Patrons 
  describe 
  a 
  ‘glowing 
  grey figure’ who beamed 
  down in the middle of 
  the pub, walked up to the 
  bar and picked up a pint 
  of real ale. Maybe they 
  can’t hold their beer on 
  Alpha Centauri, because 
  the 
  alien 
  vanished 
  as mysteriously as it 
  arrived, spilling its pint 
  on top of local resident 
  Charlie Eagleton (47). ‘It 
  was really weird’, said 
  Eagleton, ‘it just sort of 
  appeared, and then it just 
  sort of went away again. 
  And it was all grey and 
  fuzzy.’ He added ‘mind 
  you, so was everything 
  else by then. We’d been 
  drinking since we got off 
  work.’
  The owner of the Red 
  Lion, Declan Hassett, 
  declared ‘I didn’t see 
  anything, but if more 
  aliens want to come 
  drinking in my pub, 
  they’re welcome, and 
  there’s a pub quiz on 
  Tuesdays 
  with 
  spot 
  prizes.’
  Metropolitan Police
  Croydon Borough
  At  11:41, an emergency call was 
  received from Karen Cartwright of 
  24, Halling Road, South Croydon. 
  She reported that her husband, Oliver 
  Cartwright, had been assaulted by an 
  intruder and was unconscious and 
  severely injured. Emergency services 
  arrived at 11:55 but Mr. Cartwright 
  was already deceased. A subsequent 
  examination of the body showed the 
  likely cause of death to be contusions 
  and burns on the neck and upper 
  chest, with marks on the forearms 
  consistent with a struggle. The source 
  of the burns has yet to be determined 
  and the burns are present only on the 
  skin, not on the victim’s clothing. 
  Mrs. 
  Cartwright 
  described 
  the 
  assailant as a ‘grey figure’ without 
  discernable facial features or clothing 
  that ‘vanished into thin air’. There 
  was no sign of forced entry in the 
  house and the front and back doors 
  were locked. Mrs. Cartwright is the 
  only other resident and is the obvious 
  prime suspect for the murder. 
  Handout #1
  Handout #2
  
  270
  The Laundry
  
  271
  Appendix
  Melee Weapons
  Weapon
  Skill
  Base 
  Chance 
  Damage
  Hit 
  Points
  Axe, Battle
  Melee (Axe)
  15%
  1D8+2+db
  15
  Axe, Hand
  Melee (Axe)
  15%
  1D6+1+db
  12
  Brawl  
  Brawl
  25%
  1D3+db
  ―
  Brass 
  Knuckles
  Brawl
  25%
  2d3+db
  20
  Chainsaw
  Heavy 
  Machinery
  20%
  2D8
  20
  Club, Heavy 
  Melee (Club)
  25%
  1D8+db
  22
  Club, Light
  Melee (Club)
  25%
  1D6+db
  15
  Dagger
  Melee (Knife)
  25%
  1D4+db
  15
  Hammer
  Melee 
  (Hammer)
  25%
  1D6+db
  15
  Knife
  Melee (Knife)
  25%
  1D3+1+db
  15
  Mace
  Melee (Club)
  25%
  1D6+2+db
  20
  Pike
  Melee 
  (Polearm)
  15%
  1D10+2+db
  20
  Pool Cue
  Melee (Club)
  25%
  1D6+db
  5
  Quarterstaff
  Melee (Staff)
  25%
  1D8+db
  20
  Rapier
  Melee (Sword)
  10%
  1D6+1+db
  15
  Spear
  Melee (Spear)
  15%
  1D10+1+db
  15
  Sword, 
  Broad
  Melee (Sword)
  15%
  1D8+1+db
  20
  Sword, Short
  Melee (Sword)
  15%
  1D6+1+db
  20
  Truncheon
  Melee (Club)
  25%
  1D6+1+db
  20
  	
  APPENDIX:	REFERENCE	TABLES
  Attack Roll
  Dodge Roll
  Parry Roll
  Result
  Special Success
  Special Success
  Special Success
  Parrying weapon takes normal damage. If 
  dodging, attack misses. 
  Special Success
  Success
  Success
  Parrying weapon takes double damage. If 
  dodging, attack does normal damage. 
  Special Success
  Fails
  Fails
  Attack does double damage.
  Special Success
  Fumbles
  Fumbles
  Attack does double damage, defender fumbles. 
  Success
  Special Success
  Special Success
  Attack is parried or dodged. If parrying, attacking 
  weapon takes normal damage. 
  Success
  Success
  Success
  Attack is parried or dodged.
  Success
  Fails
  Fails
  Attack strikes for normal damage. 
  Success
  Fumbles
  Fumbles
  Attack strikes for normal damage, defender 
  fumbles. 
  Fails
  No roll required
  No roll required
  Attack misses.  
  Fumbles
  No roll required
  No roll required
  Attack misses, attacker fumbles. 
  Combat results table
  d100 
  Result
  01–15 
  Character loses the next attack, dodge, 
  parry or other activity. 
  16–25
  Character loses the next 1d3 rounds by 
  some freak mishap. 
  26–40
  Character falls down and is prone.  
  41–55
  Vision becomes obscured; lose –40% 
  on all appropriate skills for 1d3 Combat 
  Rounds.
  56–65
  Drop weapon and it slides or bounces 
  1d6–1 metres away. 
  66–80
  Do 1d6 damage to weapon’s Hit Points 
  (or use result 81–85 if the weapon has 
  no Hit Points). 
  81–85
  Break weapon; weapon is useless, 
  regardless of current Hit Points. 
  86–95
  Hit nearest ally for normal damage or 
  use result 56–65 if no ally nearby. 
  96–98
  Hit nearest ally for special damage or use 
  result 56–65 if no ally nearby.
  99
  Blow it; roll twice more on this table (roll 
  again if this result is rolled). 
  00
  Blow it badly; roll three times more on 
  this table (roll again if this result is rolled 
  again). 
  Combat Fumbles
  Tables
  
  272
  The	Laundry
  Active Characteristic
  Passive Characteristic
  1
  2
  3
  4
  5
  6
  7
  8
  9
  10
  11
  12
  13
  14
  15
  16
  17
  18
  19
  20
  21
  22
  23
  24
  25
  26
  27
  28
  29
  30
  31
  1
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
  —
  —
  —
  2
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — — — — — — — — — — — —
  Range of  Automatic 
  Success
  —
  —
  —
  3
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — — — — — — — — — — —
  —
  —
  —
  4
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
  —
  —
  —
  5
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
  —
  —
  —
  6
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — — — — — — — — — — — — —
  —
  —
  —
  7
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — — — — — — — — — — — —
  —
  —
  —
  8
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — — — — — — — — — — —
  —
  —
  —
  9
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — — — — — — — — — —
  —
  —
  —
  10
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — — — — — — — — —
  —
  —
  —
  11
  —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — — — — — — — —
  —
  —
  —
  12
  — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  —
  — — — — — —
  —
  —
  —
  13
  — — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — — — — — —
  —
  —
  —
  14
  — — — — 05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — — — — —
  —
  —
  —
  15
  — — — — — 05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — — — —
  —
  —
  —
  16
  — — — — — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — — —
  —
  —
  —
  17
  — — — — — — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  — —
  —
  —
  —
  18
  — — — — — — — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  —
  —
  —
  —
  19
  — — — — — — — — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  —
  —
  —
  20
  — — — — — — — — — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  —
  —
  21
  — — — — — — — — — — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  —
  22
  — — — — — — — — — — — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  95
  23
  — — — — — — — — — — — — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  90
  24
  — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  85
  25
  — — —
  Range of  Automatic Failure
  — —
  — — — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  80
  26
  — — —
  — — — — — — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  75
  27
  — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  70
  28
  — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  65
  29
  — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  60
  30
  — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
  05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  55
  31 — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — 05
  10
  15
  20
  25
  30
  35
  40
  45
  50
  Resistance Table
  Spell Level
  POW required to cast it
  1
  12
  2
  14
  3
  16
  4
  18
  5
  24
  Casting spells
  Spell 
  Level
  Sorcery Skill Required to Know 
  and Cast Spells of  that Level
  1
  15%
  2
  30%
  3
  45%
  4
  60%
  5
  90%
  Learning spells
  Spell Level
  POW
  1
  12
  2
  14
  3
  16
  4
  18
  5
  24
  POW required
  
  273
  Appendix
  Base Chance
  Special Success
  Fumble
  01–05%
  01
  96–00
  06–10%
  01–02
  96–00
  11–15%
  01–03
  96–00
  16–20%
  01–04
  96–00
  21–25%
  01–05
  97–00
  26–30%
  01–06
  97–00
  31–35%
  01–07
  97–00
  36–40%
  01–08
  97–00
  41–45%
  01–09
  98–00
  46–50%
  01–10
  98–00
  51–55%
  01–11
  98–00
  56–60%
  01–12
  98–00
  61–65%
  01–13
  99–00
  66–70%
  01–14
  99–00
  71–75%
  01–15
  99–00
  76–80%
  01–16
  99–00
  81–85%
  01–17
  00
  86–90%
  01–18
  00
  91–95%
  01–19
  00
  96–100%
  01–20
  00
  Each +5%
  +1 to range
  00
  Chance of  success
  SAN Loss From a 
  Single SAN Check
  Result Duration
  Five or more points but 
  less than half of the 
  character’s POW.
  See the section on ‘Short 
  Temporary Insanity’.
  Five or more points and 
  more than half of the 
  character’s POW.
  See the section on ‘Longer 
  Temporary Insanity’ .
  Short Temporary Insanity 
  d10
  Result
  1
  Fainting or screaming fit.
  2
  Flees in blind panic. 
  3
  Physical hysterics or another extreme emotional 
  outburst (hysterical laughing, inconsolable crying 
  etc).
  4
  An incoherent stream of babbling. 
  5
  An attack of intense phobia, which may root the 
  character to the spot.
  6
  Homicidal or suicidal mania.
  7
  Intense hallucinations or delusions.
  8
  Echopraxia or echolalia, repeating what others 
  nearby do or say. 
  9
  A stupor, the character is awake and able to stand 
  but without any will or interest. They may be led 
  or forced into simple actions but will take no 
  independent action. 
  10
  The character becomes catatonic, assuming the 
  foetal position, oblivious to all events. 
  Longer Temporary Insanity
  d10
  Result
  1
  The character lapses into stupor or catatonia 
  (as described previously) or suffers amnesia 
  (described on page 72). 
  2
  The character suffers a severe phobia. The 
  character can flee but sees the source of the 
  phobia everywhere and must succeed in a Difficult 
  Idea roll each round to temporarily overcome the 
  fear and act normally. 
  3
  The character suffers vivid hallucinations. The 
  character must succeed in a Difficult Idea roll each 
  round to ignore them and act normally. 
  4
  The character is struck with intense hopelessness 
  or despair. If coaxed into action by allies, must 
  overcome extreme lassitude by succeeding in a 
  Difficult Luck roll each round. 
  5
  The character develops a sudden fetishist 
  obsession, latching onto another person or 
  an object as a security blanket. If the fetish is 
  removed from the character’s presence, they 
  suffer an additional short temporary insanity. 
  6
  The character manifests uncontrollable tics, 
  tremors or an inability to communicate via 
  speech or writing. 
  7
  The character is stricken with psychosomatic 
  blindness, deafness or loses the use of one or 
  more limbs (roll 1d4 for the number of limbs 
  afflicted). 
  8
  The 
  character 
  exhibits 
  brief 
  psychosis, 
  represented by incoherence, delusions, aberrant 
  behaviour and/or hallucinations. 
  9
  The character suffers intense, though temporary, 
  paranoia, suspecting anyone and everything of 
  meaning them harm. 
  10
  The character suddenly develops some form of 
  compulsive behaviour, usually a ritual. Examples 
  include repeated hand-washing, constant prayer 
  or recitation, obsessively checking clothing or 
  gear, repeating oneself and so forth. 
  Temporary insanity
  POW
  Equipment
  Time Modifier
  11
  Traditional Sorcery 
  pencil and paper 
  computation 
  scientific calculator 
  20 x for traditional 
  sorcery
  60 x for pencil and 
  paper sorcery
  10 x for using a 
  scientific calculator 
  12
  Relatively recent 
  PDA, smartphone, 
  or MID
  Listed Time
  13
  New netbook or 
  older laptop
  Listed Time
  14
  New laptop or 
  Desktop
  Listed Time
  15
  Modern 
  Supercomputer
  1/5 the Listed Time
  INT
  Mental Magic
  10 x Listed Time
  Available POW - Master Table
  
  274
  The	Laundry
  3-W Laser 
  102
  21 SAS Soldier 
  117
  21 Special Air Service Regiment  
  116
  A Brief History of Magic 
  124
  A Brief History of the Laundry 
  75
  accelerating factors 
  240
  Acid 
  58
  Acquiring Gear 
  91
  Acquisitions 
  84
  Actions While Moving  
  58
  Activating Pre-Written Magical 
  Apps 
  130
  Additional Processing Cycles 
  132
  Administration Division 
  78
  Advanced Technology 
  91
  A Footnote 
  251
  Against the Black Brotherhood  
  165
  Aimed Attacks  
  57
  Algemene Inlichtingen- en 
  Veiligheidsdienst (AIVD), Unit G6 118
  Alphabetical Skill List 
  33
  Amateur Spies 
  261
  Ambushes  
  58
  Angleton, James 
  178
  ANNING BLACK (Shoggoths) 
  218
  ANNING BLUE SKULL 
  216
  ANNING BLUE SKULL 
  (Elder Things) 
  225
  Antagonist Reactions 
  171
  Antiquarian  
  22
  Apparent Situation or Purpose 
  174
  Appraise (15%)  
  33
  Archetypal Destiny Entanglement   
  (Level Four) 
  136
  Archives 
  85
  Area Attacks  
  58
  Area Wards 
  145
  Armour 
  56
  Armoury 
  81
  Artillery (various) (00%) 
  34
  Artist or Designer 
  22
  Art (various) (05%) 
  33
  Asset Extraction  
  267
  Athletics (various) (10%)  
  34
  Attacks 
  197
  Australian Security Intelligence 
  Organisation (ASIO), South Australia 
  Office 
  121
  Automatic Weapons and Burst Fire 56
  Autonomes 
  206
  Available POW - Master Table 
  128
  Average Object Sizes 
  50
  Bagger 
  177
  ‘Baggers’ 
  86
  Banishing 
  145
  Banishment Round  
  92
  Bargain (05%)  
  34
  Barnes, Alan 
  180
  Base Chances for Skills 
  29
  Basic Rules 
  11
  Basilisk Gun 
  92
  Before the Campaign Starts 
  163
  Bernard Coldfield, EOD Assassin 250
  Binding Geas 
  141
  Black Assizes 
  83
  Blake, Jerome 
  193
  Blevins, Roland 
  180
  Bloch, Henry 
  195
  BLOODY BARON and TEAPOT 179
  BLUE HADES  
  207
  BLUE HADES (Deep Ones) 
  224
  Boris ‘the mole’ 
  179
  Brawl (25%)  
  34
  Breaking Down Doors 
  266
  Brotherhood of the Black Pharoah 229
  Budgets and Spending 
  107
  Budgets,Requisitions and Training 104
  Bureaucracy (05%)  
  34
  Bureaucratic Meddling 
  175
  Cabals and Lone Wolves 
  229
  Calling Down Fire 
  255
  Calling The Laundry 
  247
  Campaign Arcs and Plotlines 
  165
  Canadian 
  Secret 
  Unconventional 
  Intelligence Service (CSUIS) 
  121
  Capital Laundry  Services 
  6
  Carpenter, Iris 
  181
  CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN 
  233
  Casting Spells 
  128
  Catering 
  81
  Chance of Success  
  48
  Characteristic Point Loss and 
  Recovery  
  66
  Characteristic Rolls 
  12
  Characteristics 
  11
  Characteristics 
  197
  Characteristics for Demons 
  197
  Character Professions 
  22
  (charlie victor) 
  189
  Chases   
  59
  Choking, Drowning and 
  Asphyxiation  
  59
  Circumstance Modifiers  
  49
  Civil Nuclear Police 
  116
  Classifying Demons 
  199
  Cleaner 
  177
  ‘Cleaners’ 
  86
  Clerical Worker 
  23
  Climb (40%)  
  34
  club zero and The Brotherhood of the 
  Black Pharaoh 
  181
  CO3 
  115
  CO3 Officer 
  115
  CO19 
  116
  CO19 Sniper 
  116
  CO20 
  116
  CO20 Rescuer 
  116
  COBRA 
  111
  COCKATRICE, Killer Chicken 
  225
  Codeword Generator 
  176
  Coldfield and the Body 
  247
  Cold or Heat Exposure  
  59
  Combat  
  48
  Combat 
  52
  Command (05%)  
  35
  Common Firearms and Explosives 103
  Complementary Skills 
  32
  Computational Demonology 
  88
  Computational Demonology 
  245
  Computational Sorcery 
  131
  Computer Hacker or Technician 
  23
  Computer Use (various) (05%)  
  35
  Concealed Ballistic Vest 
  99
  Concealed Weapon 
  93
  CONFUSED? 
  163
  Consequences of Possession 
  144
  Consultant  
  23
  Contracts and Bindings 
  83
  Conventional Spy Gear 
  99
  Corporal, 21 SAS 
  180
  Corporations 
  230
  Counterpossession 
  87
  Counter-subversion 
  83
  Cover  
  59
  Craft (various) (05%)  
  35
  Creating New Professions 
  27
  Creatures 
  268
  Crocodile 
  226
  (Cthonians) 
  212
  CTHONIANS, the Burrowers 
  Beneath 
  224
  Cthulhu Mythos (00%)  
  35
  Cthulhuoid Buzzword 
  176
  Cthunetics  
  228
  Cults  
  227
  Dagon Worship 
  248
  Damage Modifier  
  56
  Damage Modifier (DM) 
  13
  Dangerous Cults 
  228
  Dealing with Temporary Insanity  70
  Dealing with the Humes 
  254
  Death  
  66
  DEEP ONE HYBRID (Type II) 224
  Deep One Player Characters 
  224
  (Deep Ones) 
  207
  DEEP ONE (Type I) 
  224
  DEEP SEVEN  
  212
  DEEP SEVEN (Cthonians) 
  224
  Defectors 
  232
  Defences 
  265
  Defensive Bindings 
  136
  Demolition (01%)  
  36
  Denver, Malcolm, PHD 
  191
  Departmental Budgets 
  108
  Department Information 
  78
  Department of Arcana Analysis 
  87
  Department of Auditing 
  78
  Department of Field Support 
  86
  Department of Human Resources 79
  Department of Internal Logistics 81
  Department of Internal Security 
  83
  Department of Legal Affairs 
  83
  Department of Records 
  84
  Department of Research and 
  Development 
  87
  
  275
  Appendix
  INDEX	
  APPENDIX
  Department of Ways and Means 
  86
  Derek 
  182
  Derived Characteristics  
  13
  Desperate Action  
  59
  Destiny Entanglement Geas 
  136
  Devourer from Beyond 
  203
  DI5 Officer 
  112
  DI6 Field Operative 
  113
  Difficulty Modifiers  
  48
  Dilettante  
  23
  Dipartimento delle Informazioni per 
  la Sicurezza (DIS), Office of Special 
  Investigations 
  119
  Diplomatic Office 
  (Unconventional) 
  87
  Direction Centrale de la Sécuritié 
  Extraordinare (DCRI)  
  118
  DIS 
  113
  Disarming  
  59
  Disease  
  60
  Disgruntled Officers 
  232
  Disguise (05%)  
  37
  Disguised Pistol 
  99
  Doctor 
  24
  Document Restriction Magic 
  85
  Dodge (DEX x 2%)  
  37
  Dog 
  226
  Domestic and External 
  Security Group (DESG) 
  122
  Dr. Alex Lewis 
  268
  Dramatic Situation 
  175
  Drawing or Exchanging a Weapon  58
  Drive (various) (20%)  
  37
  Dr. Leah Stuart 
  268
  Dr. Meredith Holmes, 
  Laundry Occultist 
  250
  Dunwich 
  90
  Ectoplasm Wallah 
  200
  Edith’s File 
  262
  Effect of A Rapid Thaumic 
  Energy Discharge 
  138
  (Elder Things) 
  216
  ELDER THINGS, 
  City-Builders Aeons Old 
  225
  Enchantment and Production 
  82
  End-of-Mission Accounting 
  108
  Energetic and Informational Gates (Levels 
  One and Two) 
  138
  Energy Summoned By Magic 
  125
  Engineer or Technician  
  24
  Enhanced Smart Car  
  93
  Entropy Manipulation 
  137
  Erich Zann Violin 
  94
  Escaped Patients 
  257
  Esoteric Order of Dagon 
  229
  Etiquette (05%)  
  37
  European Institutions 
  114
  Europol 
  114
  Example of Play 
  161
  Examples of SAN Losses  
  69
  EXONOMES  
  198
  Exonomic Theory 
  198
  Exorcising Magic 
  138
  Exorcising Thaumic Energy 
  137
  Exorcism 
  137
  Experience and Improvement  
  62
  Experience Bonus (½ INT) 
  14
  Explosions  
  60
  Facilities 
  82
  Faeries 
  204
  FAERIES, Strange Weavers 
  205
  Falling  
  61
  Fancy Dress Spy Suit  
  94
  Fast Talk (05%) 
  37
  Fatigue  
  61
  Feeder in the Night 
  (HAGS, CRESCENT BLACK) 
  201
  Fibre Optic Probe 
  99
  Fighting Cthulhu 
  239
  Financial Control 
  78
  Fine Manipulation (05%) 
  38
  Fire and Heat  
  61
  Firearm (various) (by specialty) 
  38
  Fire Vampire (PYRETIC 
  PHANTASM, ELMO TWO) 
  201
  FIRE VAMPIRES, 
  the Flame Feeders 
  202
  Firing into Combat  
  58
  Firing Two Guns at Once  
  57
  First Aid (30%)  
  38
  Five Ways To Game Better 
  173
  Fluency 
  41
  Ford, Dr. Mike 
  182
  Forensics and Autopsy  
  260
  Foreword 
  4
  Fumbles  
  50
  Fumbles in Combat  
  55
  (GAME ANDES REDSHIFT) 
  222
  GAME ANDES REDSHIFT 
  (Gorgons) 
  225
  Game Mastering 
  172
  Gaming (10%)  
  38
  Garda Unit for the Bizarre and 
  Unprecedented (GUBU) 
  119
  Gates 
  138
  GCHQ 
  113
  Gear Requisitions 
  105
  Geas 
  140
  Gecko Suit 
  99
  Gehime Sicherhei Abteilung (GSA) 119
  Getting Hurt  
  64
  Getting Into The Institute 
  265
  Getting Sick  
  66
  GHOSTS, Psychic Echoes 
  201
  GHOULS 
  219
  GHOULS (Homo Sapiens 
  Necrosis) 
  225
  GHOULS, Mocking 
  Charnel Feeders 
  225
  Glamour  
  141
  GM Advice 
  237
  Going Down To Dunwich 
  241
  Going Insane  
  69
  GORGONS 
  222
  Grapple (25%)  
  38
  Gravedust Rig 
  94
  Greater London 
  89
  Gremlin 
  202
  Griffin, Jack 
  183
  Growing Accustomed to Horror  68
  Halwell, Elanor  
  196
  Hand Of Glory 
  95
  Harry ‘The Horse’ 
  184
  Have Fun 
  157
  Head of Counterpossession Unit 178
  Healing  
  66
  Health & Safety 
  79
  Heavy Machine (various) (05%) 
  39
  Hell-hound 
  203
  HELL-HOUND, Possessed Puppy 203
  Helpless Opponents and 
  Sneak Attacks  
  61
  Her Majesty’s Government 
  111
  Hide (10%)  
  39
  Hit Points (HP) 
  13
  (Homo Sapiens Necrosis) 
  219
  Horror 
  166
  Horse 
  226
  Hostiles 
  174
  Housing 
  79
  Howard, Robert 
  185
  How Do I Game Master? 
  10
  How Do I Play The Game? 
  9
  How To Use This Book 
  9
  Humour 
  168
  Hunting Aliens 
  260
  Imp of the Perverse 
  200
  Imprinted Patient 
  (Level two Demon) 
  268
  Improving Characteristics  
  63
  Improving Skills Through 
  Experience  
  30
  Improving Skills Through
  Experience 
  62
  Improving Skills Through 
  Research  
  63
  Improving Skills Through Training  63
  Improvised Weapons  
  61
  Increasing Area of Effect 
  134
  Increasing Number of Targets 
  134
  Indefinite Insanity 
  70
  Information Technology 
  82
  Inhuman Resources  
  79
  Insight (05%) 
  39
  Inspirational material 
  169
  Interdepartmental Liaison Group 84
  Internal Affairs 
  83
  Interviewing Karen Cartwright 
  260
  Invasion of the Greys 
  267
  Ironsides, Frederick 
  184
  Jammed Weapons  
  57
  Jihaz Al-Mukhabarat Al-A’Ma/
  Iraqi Intelligence Service 
  122
  
  276
  The	Laundry
  John Cartwright 
  261
  Joint Intelligence Committee 
  112
  Joint Portuguese Counter-Occult 
  Group (JPCOG) 
  119
  Journalist  
  24
  Jump (25%) 
  40
  Keystroke Logger 
  100
  Kirkcudbright Training 
  Area (Scotland) 
  90
  Knockout Attack  
  61
  Knowledge 
  40
  Labourer  
  24
  Lamia 
  202
  LAMIA, the Hungry 
  202
  Language Fluency Table 
  41
  Large and Small Targets  
  61
  Laser Microphone  
  100
  Laundry  
  177
  Laundry Departments 
  106
  Laundry Facilities 
  89
  Laundry Mission Generator 
  174
  Lawyer  
  24
  Layout of the Institute 
  264
  Leah Poisson, Human Resources 
  250
  Learning Magic 
  127
  Learning Spells 
  128
  Learning the Sorcery skill 
  127
  Legal Affairs  
  83
  Lesser Horrors from Beyond 
  201
  Lesser Manifestation 
  203
  LESSER MANIFESTATION,  
  203
  Level Five Entities 
  206
  Level Four Entities 
  205
  LEVEL FOUR ENTITY, 
  Higher Forms 
  205
  Level One Entities 
  197
  LEVEL ONE ENTITY, 
  The Formless 
  200
  Level Three Entities 
  204
  Level Two Entities 
  201
  LEVEL TWO ENTITIES,  
  201
  Life in the Laundry 
  158
  Linguist  
  25
  Listen (25%)  
  42
  Local Police Officer 
  116
  Locator Bugs 
  100
  Longer Temporary Insanity 
  70
  Losing SAN 
  68
  Magic and the Multiverse  
  127
  Magic, Energy and Magical Energy 125
  Maintenance and Janitorial 
  82
  Major, 21 SAS 
  180
  Major Wounds  
  13
  Major Wounds 
  64
  Major Wound Table  
  65
  Manchester 
  90
  Manufacturing HOGs 
  96
  Mathematical Modelling 
  88
  Media Relations 
  84
  Medical Care 
  66
  Medical & Psychological 
  80
  Medicine (05%) (various)  
  42
  MEDUSA, Innocent 
  Handmaiden of Death 
  225
  Melee Weapon (various)   
  42
  Mental Disorders  
  71
  Mental Magic Side Effect Table 
  132
  Mental Magic (True Sorcery) 
  132
  Metropolitan Police 
  114
  Microdrone  
  100
  (Mi-Go, The Fungi From Yoggoth) 214
  MI-GO, the Fungi from Yuggoth 224
  Military Officer 
  25
  Ministry of State Security, 
  The Nameless Bureau 
  122
  Minor Wounds  
  64
  Mirrored Hand of Glory  
  95
  Misguided Cults 
  228
  Missile Weapon  
  42
  Mission Budget 
  258
  Mission Budgets 
  108
  Missions 
  169
  Modifying Spells 
  132
  Monitoring 
  85
  Monsters and Their Kynde 
  197
  Moore’s Law and Better Toys 
  237
  morris, jane 
  194
  Move (MOV) 
  14
  Multiple Shots  
  56
  Mundane Animals  
  226
  Mythos Cults 
  229
  Narrative Time  
  52
  National Countersubversive 
  Organisation (OCN), Section Five 120
  Nausea Flash 
  101
  Navigate (10%)  
  42
  Necronomiphone 
  96
  New Skills and Specialties  
  47
  newstrom, andrew 
  186
  Night Nurse (Level Three Demon) 268
  (Non-Native 
  Invocees, 
  Non-Physical 
  Entities/NPE, 
  External 
  Intelligences 
  (EIs), ‘Demons’) 
  198
  Non-Player Characters 
  169
  Notable Grimoires 
  147
  NPCs 
  268
  O’Brien, Prof. Dominique ‘Mo’ 
  (Agent Candid) 
  187
  Observation Rooms 
  254
  Occult Buzzword 
  176
  Occult Forensics  
  88
  Occultist 
  25
  Occult Items 
  92
  OCCULUS 
  87
  Offensive Wards 
  146
  On-Call Personnel 
  177
  Operational Oversight 
  84
  Operations Division 
  86
  Opportunistic Sacrifices 
  250
  Opposed Rolls  
  50
  Opposed Skill Rolls  
  31
  Other Departments 
  76
  Other Firearm Gear   
  58
  Other Geas  
  141
  Other Groups 
  107
  Other Investigators 
  257
  Other Opponents 
  258
  Other Police Forces 
  116
  Other Solutions 
  235
  Other Species and Esoteric 
  Threats  
  232
  Our European Partners 
  118
  Outer Offices 
  253
  Outsourcing 
  133
  Overcoming Indefinite Insanity 
  71
  overcoming other Spells 
  138
  P27/Service for Analysis 
  and Prevention (DAP)  
  120
  Pacing 
  173
  Pale Grace Cosmetics 
  96
  Parallel Processing 
  133
  Parapsychologist  
  25
  Payroll 
  80
  Perform (various) (05%) 
  43
  Peripherals 
  134
  Permanent Insanity 
  74
  Permanent Private Secretary,  
  178
  Personal Destiny Entanglement  
   
  (Level Three) 
  136
  Personal Panic Button 
  96
  Personal Wards 
  97
  Personal Wards 
  146
  Personnel 
  80
  Personnel Roster 
  177
  Persuade (15%) 
  43
  Philosopher  
  26
  Physical Gates (Levels Three, 
  Four and Five) 
  139
  Pike, Martin, phd 
  186
  Pilot (various) (00%) 
  43
  Pinky 
  188
  Player Input and Improvisation 
  167
  Play Fair But Loose 
  173
  Plot 
  169
  Plumber 
  177
  ‘Plumbers’ 
  86
  PLUTO KOBOLD  
  214
  PLUTO KOBOLD (Mi-Go, 
  The Fungi From Yuggoth) 
  224
  Poison  
  61
  Police and Emergency Services 
  114
  Police Officer 
  26
  Poltergeists 
  200
  Porton Down 
  90
  Possessed Villager 
  250
  Possession 
  144
  POW and Magic 
  129
  Predictive Branch 
  88
  Preparations 
  235
  Preventing the Apocalypse 
  237
  Primary Opposition 
  238
  Professor, Scholar or Teacher  
  26
  Prognostication 
  142
  
  277
  Appendix
  Prone  
  62
  Protective Pentacles 
  145
  Protective Wards 
  145
  Psychotherapy (00%) 
  43
  Pulling Blows  
  62
  Purchasing 
  82
  Q Division 
  89
  Quality Assurance 
  79
  Questioning Clara Portescue 
  262
  Questioning Rennie 
  252
  Random, Ramona 
  189
  Range  
  57
  Rare Spells 
  128
  Rating 
  41
  Real Situation 
  174
  Records and Communication 
  169
  Reducing Casting Time 
  134
  Regaining Lost SAN Points 
  74
  Relapsing Into Insanity 
  71
  Reloading Firearms  
  57
  Remote Controlled Bug 
  101
   Rennie 
  252
  Repair (various) (15%)  
  43
  Repeating Ghost 
  201
  Requisitioning Gear 
  91
  Requisitions 
  104
  Research 
  265
  Research (25%)  
  43
  Research Department for External 
  Intelligence (RDEI), North Korea 123
  Residents 
  263
  Residual Human Resources 
  80
  Resistance Rolls 
  51
  Resisting magic 
  135
  Retired/Private Sector 
  232
  Ride (05%) 
  44
  Rising Magic 
  236
  Rogue Officers 
  231
  Roleplaying 
  160
  Rolling Dice  
  11
  RTFG – Tomes, Grimoires 
  and Magical Texts 
  147
  Sample Campaign Sketches 
  164
  Sample Poisons  
  62
  Sanity Loss 
  197
  Sanity (SAN) 
  14
  SCD-1 
  115
  SCD-1 Investigating Officer 
  115
  SCD-10 
  115
  SCD-10 Techie 
  115
  Scenes 
  170
  Science (various)  
  44
  Scientist  
  27
  Scrying  
  142
  SEA-BORN (Type III) 
  224
  Searching for Evidence 
  252
  Secret Intelligence Service (DI6) 
  112
  Secret or Concealed Skill Rolls  
  31
  Secrets 
  168
  Security For… 
  150
  Security Management 
  84
  Security Officer Banks 
  268
  Security Service (DI5) 
  112
  Sense (10%)  
  45
  Services Guide 
  156
  Sgt. Trevor Laine 
  250
  SHAPE 
  114
  Shark 
  226
  Shields 
  56
  SHOGGOTHS 
  225
  Short Temporary Insanity  
  70
  Silence Geas 
  140
  Skill Descriptions 
  33
  Skill Ratings  
  29
  Skills 
  15
  Skills Above 100% 
  30
  Skill Specialties  
  29
  Sleight of Hand (05%)  
  45
  Smart Card 
  101
  Snake (constrictor) 
  226
  Snake (poisonous) 
  226
  SO15 
  116
  SO15 Agent 
  116
  Sorcerous  
  230
  Sorcery (00%)  
  45
  Special Abilities and Spells 
  197
  special effects 
  171
  Special Projects 
  87
  Special Successes 
  49
  Special Successes in Combat  
  54
  Spell Failure Table 
  129
  Spell Levels 
  135
  Spells 
  134
  Spell Variants 
  128
  Spot (25%)  
  45
  Spotlight Time  
  160
  Spot Rules for Firearms  
  56
  Spot Rules For Unusual Situations 58
  Spy 
  27
  Staff  
  262
  Status (15%)  
  45
  Stealth (10%)  
  46
  St. Hilda’s 
  90
  Strategy (05%)  
  46
  Stray Bullets 
  58
  Structure of the Laundry 
  76
  Student 
  27
  Style and Tone 
  166
  Subplots or When Work 
  Comes Home With You 
  161
  Succubus 
  205
  sullivan, josephine 
  190
  Summoning & Banishing 
  143
  Summoning Best Practices 
  198
  Summoning Chamber 
  254
  Summoning Non-Physical Entities 143
  Summoning Physical Entities 
  144
  Support Requisitions  
  106
  Surprise  
  62
  Survival Amidst Chaos   
  240
  Survival and Evasion 
  246
  Survival Training 
  248
  Swim (25%)  
  46
  Switchboard 
  83
  Sympathetic Magic 
  142
  Tables and Reference 
  271
  Teach (10%)  
  46
  Technology Use (various) (05%)  
  47
  Temporary Insanity  
  69
  Temporary Insanity 
  70
  Terrorists 
  231
  Thaumic Energy 
  126
  Thaumic Resonance or ‘Haunting’: Cause 
  and Effect Table 
  126
  Thaumometre 
  97
  Thaum Readings and Evidence 
  259
  The Auditors 
  78
  The Basics  
  48
  The Basics of Game Mastering 
  163
  The Benthic Treaty for Bluffers! 
  210
  The Black Chamber (USA) 
  120
  The Boat 
  242
  The brain 
  188
  The Briefcase 
  259
  The Car 
  252
  The Chain of Command 
  159
  The Civil Service 
  159
  The Cultists 
  241
  The d100 System  
  11
  The Directory 
  111
  The Documents 
  258
  The Dog & Whistle 
  243
  The Dunwich Nightlife 
  244
  The Ending Sorcery Endgame 
  238
  The Estranged Order of Dagon 
  241
  The Farmhouse 
  243
  The Girl in the Woods 
  253
  The Greys 
  257
  The Ideal Sacrifice 
  249
  The Local Laundry 
  165
  The London Paranormal Club 
  259
  The Monkfish Motel 
  242
  The New Bad Guys 
  122
  The Old Bad Guys 
  122
  The Order Hall 
  243
  The Police 
  260
  The Red Lion  
  259
  The Refuges 
  235
  The Research Labs 
  243
  The Resistance Table 
  15
  The Resistance Table 
  51
  The Revealed Mission of Gabriel 228
  The Round  
  52
  The Round  
  53
  The Secure Wing 
  264
  The Spy Who Came In 
  From The Old 
  166
  The Thirteenth Directorate 
  122
  the truth comes out 
  236
  The Turn  
  52
  The UK Intelligence Community 112
  Threats 
  227
  CONTENTS	
  APPENDIX
  
  278
  The	Laundry
  Through the Ultimate Gate 
  166
  Throw (25%)  
  47
  Tillinghast Resonator 
  97
  Time  
  52
  Time and Movement  
  52
  Time and Skill Use  
  32
  Title of Profession  
  22
  Tosher 
  177
  ‘Toshers’ 
  87
  Track (10%)  
  47
  Traditional Magic 
  131
  Training 
  81
  Training Packages 
  109
  Translation and Analysis 
  85
  Transport 
  83
  Trawsfynydd (Wales) 
  90
  T-Ray Scanner 
  101
  Trigger Guard 
  97
  True Natural Farming Commune 228
  Truth Geas 
  140
  Two Minutes to Midnight 
  166
  UK-USA Pact Members 
  120
  Umr Attawil (Staircase 
  Dweller, The Prolonged Of Life) 205
  Unaimed Shots  
  57
  Underwater Combat  
  62
  Unknown Factors     
  236
  Unskilled Actions  
  31
  Using a Budget 
  108
  Using Magical Devices 
  130
  Using SAN for Sanity Checks  
  68
  Using Skills 
  30
  VEVAK/Ministry of 
  Intelligence and National Security 123
  Village Store 
  243
  Visiting Great-Aunt Edith 
  262
  Warding Tape 
  98
  Wards 
  145
  Warrant Card 
  98
  Wealth Levels  
  28
  Weapons 
  56
  weapons and artefacts 
  177
  What Do I Need? 
  9
  What is a Roleplaying Game? 
  9
  What is a Skill?  
  29
  What is Capital Laundry 
  Services: The Roleplaying Game? 9
  What is Really Going to Happen? 234
  What is the Laundry series? 
  9
  What to do in case of… 
  153
  When Do You Lose Hit Points?  
  13
  When Do You Make an 
  Opposed Skill Roll?  
  32
  When Do You Make a Sanity Roll?  14
  When Do You Make a Secret 
  Skill Roll?  
  31
  When Do You Roll Dice?  
  11
  When Do You Use a 
  Characteristic Roll?  
  13
  When Do You Use a Skill Roll?  
  15
  When Do You Use 
  Derived Characteristics?  
  14
  When Do You Use the
   Resistance Table?  
  15
  Where Is The Glaive-Gisarme 
  Of My Vanished Youth? 
  172
  Witnesses 
  259
  Words Have Power:Sorcery 
  124
  ‘Yog-Snuffles’ 
  255
  Yog-Snuffles Attacks 
  253
  Young, Peter Frances 
  192
  Your Character and Welcome 
  to Him 
  160
  Zombie 
  203
  Zombies 
  204
  
  PERSONNEL	RECORD
  Skills
  %
  □ Appraise (15%)
  □ Art (05%)
  □ 
  □ Athletics (10%) 
  □ Bargain (05%)
  □ Bureaucracy (05%)
  □ Climb (40%)
  □ Command (05%)
  □ Computer Use (05%)
  □
  □
  □
  □ Craft (05%)
  □ 
    Cthulhu Mythos (00%)
  □ Demolition (00%)
  □ Disguise (05%)
  □ Drive (20%)
  □ 
  □ Etiquette (05%)
  □ Fast Talk (05%)
  □ Fine Manipulation (05%)
  □ First Aid (30%)
  □ Gaming (10%)
  □ Grapple (25%)
  □ Heavy Machine (05%)
  □ Hide (10%)
  □ Insight (05%)
  □ Jump (25%)
  □ Knowledge (Accounting)
  □ Knowledge (Espionage)
  □ Knowledge (Law)
  □ Knowledge (Occult)
  □ Knowledge (Politics)
  □
  □ Language (Own: INTx5%)
  □
  □
  □ Listen (25%)
  □ Medicine (05%)
  □ Navigate (10%)
  □ Perform (05%)
  □ Persuade (15%)
  □ Pilot (00%)
  □
  □ Psychotherapy (00%)
  □ Repair (15%)
  □ 
  □ 
  □ Research  (25%)
  □ Ride (05%)
  □ Science (see p42)
  □
  □
  □ Sense (10%)
  □ Sleight of Hand (05%)
    Sorcery (00%)
  □ Spot (25%)
    Status (15%)
  □ Stealth (10%)
  □ Strategy (00%)
  □ Swim (25%)
  □ Teach (10%)
  □ Technology Use (05%)
  □ 
  □ Track (10%)
  □ 
  □ 
  STr
  Effort
  %
  CON
  Endurance
  %
  SIZ
  Damage Mod.
  INT
  Idea
  %
  POW
  luck
  %
  DEX
  Agility
  %
  APP
  Charisma
  %
  EDU
  know
  %
  NAME
  AGE
  PlAYEr
  GrADE
  POSITION
  GENDEr
  ASSIGNMENT
  BOrN
  PErSONAlITY
  DECEASED
  PrOfESSION
  WEIGHT
  lINE MANAGEr
  HEIGHT
  SUPErvISOr(S)
  MOv
  WEAlTH
  EXP BONUS
  Laundry
  HIT POINTS
  MAX.
  MAJOR 
  WOUND
  DEAD
  D -2 -1 0 1 2
  3 4 5 6 7 8
  9 10 11 12 13 14
  15 16 17 18 19 20
  SANITY POINTS
  INITIAL SAN
  MADNESS 
  THRESHOLD
  MAXIMUM SAN
  Insane 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
  15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31
  32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48
  49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65
  66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82
  83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99
  COMBAT SkIllS
  %
  Weapon
  Damage
  Attack
  Special
  range
  HP
  Ammo
  SIZ
  □ Artillery (00%)
  □ Brawl (25%)
  □ Dodge
  N/A
  □ Firearm (Assault Rifle) (15%)
  □ Firearm (Esoteric) (00%)
  □ Firearm (Exotic) (05%)
  □ Firearm (Pistol) (20%)
  □ Firearm (Rifle) (25%)
  □ Firearm (Shotgun) (30%)
  □ Firearm (SMG) (15%)
  □ Heavy Weapon (various)
  □ Melee Weapon (various)
  □ Missile Weapon (various) 
  □ Throw (25%)
  SECUrITY ClEArANCES
  
  PERSONNEL	RECORD
  Laundry
  Possessions
  Training courses attended
  IT equipment
  POW
  Pre-loaded spells/apps
  Next of kin/emergency contact
  Name
  Relationship
  Telephone no.
  Address
  Certification
  Psychiatric history
  Disciplinary record
  Spells
  level
  Cast time
  Notes/page reference
  Notes
  
SOURCE: textdata/thevault/The Laundry/cb71200 - The Laundry Roleplaying Game.pdf