   Do I tell him or not? (Updated)
  Just another "how to break it to my dad I'm atheist" thread...In seven hours my Dad is driving me home from university (I finish exams today). During the course of the term, he got tipped from one of my family members that I'm atheist (But he won't believe it till he hears it from me).He's going to ask during the drive home, I'm sure of it. What I'm not sure is what I'm going to tell him (I really am atheist). Telling him the truth could very negatively impact me (Hes very religious, and kinda a jackass about it; in the past he made my oldest brother follow 'Christian' traditions for marriage before he'd support his moving in with his girlfriend).Considering I'm a university student, I really don't want to lose his support. But I see only two options..1 - Lie to him (I'm a fan of the phrase "Truth to those who can handle it.").2 - Don't lie to him, and risk losing his support.I don't like either of these options. And getting technical with him (explaining why I'm atheist and all) sucks. I hate trying to argue with religious people, I get no where with them, and they get no where with me. I could blow the doors of his knowledge on religion due to me having taken a course on "Philosophy of Religion" as a liberal at my uni, but this won't help me (If I pwn him, he'll likey suffer physological problems (Having been strongly religious for soo long, and then getting own3d by his own son), if I don't pwn him, then he thinks hes won the argument).What do I do?Current Status: I'm planning on lying to him. I'm planning on telling him that what I believe in is personal, and I don't want to discuss my personal belief. (Thanks superpig)Backup plans if Superpig's suggestion fails. Tell him I'm Hindu. Tell him I'm trying to figure this out on my own; and ask what he believes in. (Thanks Bringer)Updated - May 3, 2006Ok, well, here is how it went down. My Mom drove me home (We unloaded quite a bit of university stuff), and then I spent the next day at my Dad's.The drive from my Moms to my Dads is about an hour, (not quite as long as from my residence to home, but long enough for my Dad to ask many questions). I thought I was quite prepared to answer whatever he threw at me.Within the first 40 seconds of driving, he pulled out a bible and asked me to read a citation from it, my heart-rate skyrocketed, I picked up the bible and read the citation..."blah blah wife shall not say no to sex from husband and husband shall not say no to sex from wife" ... he must still be hurt over the divorce. My heart-rate leveled out, and we started talking about how my Mom is going to hell (To summarize an hour of bible-thumping). By "we" I mean, he let the bible roll off his tongue, and I just kept nodding my head agreeing with everything he said. Now here comes the difficult part, he was probably noticing how I wasn't participating much, so he got to a subject he knew I'd discuss (I'll skip the details). After a bit of talking, we were both actively discussing it, and then he threw in the line..."[thevenin] you must believe god does exist, and he is alive"... seems like an obvious 'snag' attempt, but having just moments ago been actively discussing things he said, this thing caught me off guard. Nevertheless, I seeked guidance from my conscience self, which went like this...Thevenin: I feel like saying something.Thevenin's Conscience: Dont.Thevenin: I really feel like saying something...Thevenin's Conscience: I said don't!Thevenin: I've gotta say something....Thevenin's Conscience: you moron, don't say a damn thing!... so I didn't say a thing. And there was an ackward pause that lasted just too long. He was obviously upset his 'snag' failed to make me confess, and I was worried my pause would make it obvious I'm atheist and force him to just plain out say "You do believe in God right?". Fortunently, he didn't, and we got back to our regular discussion.He tried this same stunt once or twice more amongst the remaining drives, but none succeeded in getting any information out of me.Updated - May 17, 2006See my posting on the 8th page.[Edited by - Thevenin on May 17, 2006 5:10:22 PM]
  Yeah, just lie about it. When you don't need his support anymore, tell the truth and that you were lying all that time:);Quote:Original post by FeidiasYeah, just lie about it. When you don't need his support anymore, tell the truth and that you were lying all that time:)Why even bother ever telling him? What difference does it make if I never tell him. Its not like only atheist friends hang out with other atheists. I could care less if he tells the rest of the family I'm Christian. If I decide to lie to him, I'll likey never tell him, he can die thinking I'm Christian, I'm fine with that.   ;  What kind of support do you mean? Financial?I'd say tell him. You're at university, you are an intelligent and independent human being (I presume [smile]), you should be able to discuss these matters with your father.However, since it appears to be a sensitive topic, find the right time and place to do it. Obviously I cannot determine what moment that would be. Perhaps it makes it easier to tell him in the company of others (friends, family), maybe it is best to tell him in private. And I don't how long this car ride is gonna be, so if you're planning to tell him, you may consider bringing it up at the end of the trip. :)   ;  Tell him the truth, if he's a decent human being he'll admire you for that.  And as for pwning him, it shouldn't take too much to pick anything he says to bits.I had a similar situation with my grandmother but now she won't even mention religion infront of me.  But you also have to be careful not to go to far, as if he then starts to doubt his faith that could lead to a lot of resentment.Hope I've been some help,G3mac_uk   ;  Bring home another dude, and make it out that you're totally gay for each other. Then go, "Oh, dad, this is my friend steve from work, I'm going to his bachelor party next week, oh and I'm an atheist."He'll be so relieved you aren't gay he wont care WHAT you say next.   ;  At first my initial thoughts would be to lie or get him extremely drunk, but then I read APC's post and saw the light.   ;Quote:Original post by g3mac_ukTell him the truth, if he's a decent human being he'll admire you for that.It scarcely ever works like that. Just look at relationships; truth destroys them.   ;  You could try skirting the issue entirely by saying that you don't want to talk about your personal beliefs, even with family members.   ;Quote:Original post by superpigYou could try skirting the issue entirely by saying that you don't want to talk about your personal beliefs, even with family members.Thanks you! [smile]I now have a 3rd option.And I'm currently keen on using this one.   