   Critique My Video Game Idea
  Feel free to comment on my work, ask for further plot details, explain to me how my game could be improved, and offer any contributions you could make to the game's development.NOTE:  I have no computer programming skills, no source of funds, and only my spare time to work on the game.  Any payment would come from game sales.  The only type of "donation" I require are game developers with some experience who believe in making this game a reality.  All right, here is my game concept:Prospective Game Name:  What are You, Really?Desired Hardware:  PSP, DS, MAC, or if you really can go all-out: 1) Wii, 2) PS2    3) X-Box 360Story:"Before the beginning, the perfect being, publicly worshipped as Goddess by The Kingdoms (the long-time ruling government), existed as a single point of consciousness.  By its own will Goddess explored its ability to create a narcissistic/self-loathing relationship within itself to create 'Meaning.'  Knowing full well of the consequences, Goddess divided itself within the nothingness that also consisted of its consciousness for a controlled period of time existing simultaneously with Goddess' existence as a single consciousness.  From this destruction and drastic alteration, everything that we perceive, ‘Life,' was created with the addition of two largely intact consciousness fragments:  the planar, golden, Universe-world of Drift, representing Goddess' narcissism, and the massive, black-armored, seraph-like shard known as SWORD, a stationary embodiment of Goddess' self-loathing plunged deep into the 'Non-existent End of Drift,' though few outside of The Kingdoms' heads of state know of SWORD."The premise of the game is a turn-based RPG (more details on battle mechanics can be found at http://www.gamedev.net/community/forums/ViewReply.asp?id=3456918 and http://www.gamedev.net/community/forums/ViewReply.asp?id=3457666) with no limit on how many party members can be in the party at one time except for how many can be attained in the game (I am thinking of having 13 attainable members out of 20 possible members spread throughout the game) and certain events and in-battle conditions that force the player to use a lesser party number.  The main plot devices are called Dtruines (pronounced Drunes) (has sort of a Norse mythology feel and stands for Divine Truths = D-TRUth-ivINE-S = Dtruines).  These magical objects are mass-produced, highly government regulated items, but most are in the forms of weapons and armor.  To understand their importance, one must first understand how magic works in Drift.  Almost everyone possesses magic in some form or another, but other than some seemingly super-human physical prowess in times of euphoria or extreme stress or force of will no one can use their magic on or against each other much less manifest the magic in the physical realm because human mental realms tend to remain parallel to each other with never more than a few thoughts rarely intersecting multiple consciousnesses.  There are three exceptions to this rule.  The first is that everyone possessing magic can use the magic against monsters, which are actually the physical manifestations of "negative energy beings," because their connection to the negative plane of existence overlaps the mental planes of magic users, making monsters walking portals for magic (the downside is that monsters are able to tap into some human magic as well as their own, which is sometimes stronger, to use on us through our mental portals).  The second exception is the use of Dtruines, which allow a wielder to cast unique magical effects (i.e. activating a flame cuirass to absorb fire spells, nullify ice attacks, and burn minimal close-range physical attackers) and cast spells, the second-most trivial manifestation from magic next to physical enhancement, directly into the physical realm.  Above spells, there is very little some powerful magic users can't do within the limits of their strength of will, though most of the more extreme cases are considered "Naturals."   Dtruines are created from reverse engineering the structural design and materials of SWORD, though most are told that they are gifts from Goddess to The Kingdoms.  These spells are unconnected to those manifested in one's mind except for that they both draw from the user's ethereal network, the soul, which can be replenished by breaking seal items that temporarily connect the user to the World Ethereal Network (WEN).  There is no major penalty for having a depleted soul other than not being able to use magic and some limiters on speech options like inflections and comprehending emotion.  The final exception is the "Naturals," those who can at the least physically manifest spells without the presence of Dtruines or monsters, and normal magic users cannot use their personal magic against them, disproving the popular stereotype that they are monster/human hybrids despite some being able to acquire "negative magic."  These Naturals are heavily persecuted by the Kingdoms for "stealing Goddess' gifts for their own malefic purposes," with the exception of those working secretly in the service of The Kingdoms and those who hide themselves in plain sight behind political authority for reasons of fear and superiority complexes.  Other popularly accepted practices of The Kingdoms, otherwise those with few public or living opposers, are a semi-constant (with fifty-year calms and 100-year stages of war) four-way war between the leading states that is meant to keep the people weak, to control the population for governing purposes (as Drift has no immediately apparent or actual end in territory, but a small population needs little territory, allowing for more stable governing), and to keep the governing factions in check of one another, though most leaders really do share the same agendas despite the nameless war's purpose of discouraging such power mergers.  The only opposition to The Kingdoms is the Carter Daulous Army (CDA), lead by the equally ruthless and somewhat jovially radical namesake of the group.  A large number of the CDA are Naturals who either were ostracized from their homes or escaped genocide by The Kingdoms, including Carter himself who had lived much of his life as a person thought to be without magic until he was reported by a traveling band of merchants he had saved from monster attack when he suddenly was able to use negative magic and quite powerfully at that.The game's story centers around the protagonist, Canton Olivrex, his best friend, Ari N'nenagalia (early on Canton gets made fun of for having a girl as a friend from such an early age, which doesn't improve as later in their lives they are slated by The Kingdoms to marry different people in order to provide soldiers for the next stage of the war), and Shira Arqeques, a boy who considers Canton and himself to be "feared and most hated enemies" (Canton often adamantly and humorously shouts out agreement to him).  In actuality both boys are more like sometimes-friendly childhood rivals, and much comic relief is provided when they get into arguments over seemingly nothing or mostly just who is tougher, which mostly leads to them beating the living crap out of each other.  Ari at one point refuses to break up the fights anymore as she states that all her efforts have ever done is get her involved, "So go and smash each others skulls in, I don't care anymore!"  What begins the driving plot is that somewhere in the character's early teens, they are role-playing that they are village heroes, gallantly fighting each other in one of the previous war stages, near the edge of the village.  The three are pretending to use magic when all of a sudden Ari, only pretending to use the "pounded-ya" spell, hold out her palms and many poundings begin to visibly happen all around for quite some distance as if the ground were being hit with many invisible giant hammers.  Luckily no real harm is done, but many villagers, including Ari herself, are frightened by the phenomenon.  She quickly runs home crying with Canton and Shira stunned with confusion, and while no villager apparently saw her cause the event, a village guard passing Ari while she is running and crying grows suspicious.  A few days later, Ari contacts Canton through a whisper seal (breaking one allows a portal to be opened between two people so that a spoken message can be delivered over the WEN), saying she feared being watched.  Alone in Canton's parents' house she shows him an example of why she fears she is being spied on, she can manifest magic as shown when she lights a candle without touching it and then freezes the candle.  As it so happens the guard had been spying on her.  The guard, being a lowly and unintelligent bully, organized a small lynch mob of villagers and had them attack the rural house.  Canton was wounded and one of the mob was trying to force himself on Ari.  From the magical recesses of Canton’s body he summons unknown strength and murders the mob in a blind rage.  Afterward, a passing by Shira walks in to most likely get into an argument but is traumatized by the horror he sees, and he reportedly was last seen fleeing the village.  Ari and Canton decide to leave the village as well, seeing as they wouldn't be able to keep the situation a secret forever and they have no reservations about their mandatory betrothals.  For three years they travel the golden wilderness of Drift before hearing of the new war between The Kingdoms and the CDA.  They also find out about Shira, who had consigned himself to the military but had gone rogue after beginning to display sadistic tendency toward his fellow soldiers after a fake and bloody "public relations" tour and much previous savagery in monster hunts that constituted the whole of his own time.  Both Canton and Ari witness his murder by magical bombardment when he tries to approach The Kingdom's great wall, pleading that the wars and killings stop or he will stop them because he does not want anyone to die anymore.  From here on, the story closely follows Canton's and Ari's misadventures together with other characters along the way among the bloody conflicts and hard-to-trust dealings with both the CDA and The Kingdoms in the group's search to find an answer to Drift's despair that may just lie with the mysterious and little-whispered about SWORD.  All of the while, something much darker is brewing that will put everything certain into question, including "What if stopping it is the true evil?" and "What are you, really?"  Thank you for reading.  My preferred form for the game play is to look like Final Fantasy VI with really enthralling spoken cut scenes.  However, going all out would mean making the game play match the cut scenes as best as possible.  Post if you have any ideas.  Send me a PM if you would like.  Thanks again for reading.EDIT:  Formerly known as "What Game Would You Like to Make?" EDIT:  Formerly known as "Post plot/mechanics for the gamesake."Note:  this is a thread I moved from the game design forum because it is more story based, but feel free to post how you want the games to be played (mechanics).[Edited by - Glass2099 on May 21, 2009 12:29:30 PM]
  Like the idea of multiple people in a party turned based rpg style. Think you have something here. Any inspiration you can take from the final fantasy series the better as they are all classics and proven to work.   ;  I am not sure what inspired me to begin this story.  Final Fantasy generally comes to mind when talking what-ifs for an anime-style RPG,  but I would retroactively say Tales of Symphonia.  I say retroactively because I have been imagining this story in my head and out loud (you would understand if you've done this in your creative process) for well over a year, but I just learned about ToS about a month ago.  Of course, maybe the use of an unconventional plot line and graying of good and evil in ToS did help me think up some new ideas to deepen the plot.  Other main inspirations I credit to my uncle's love of Poker, my Macbook's chess game (these last two factors are explained in my game mechanics), and some of the comments on this site like not even pretending that the world can be saved.  However, this last part is the beauty of the story, the world does not need to be saved because everything has only been planned to exist for a short time before reverting to its original form, but much wiser and full of experience of what it means to be human and alive.  The protagonist's goal is not to save the world but to understand why life is the way life is and to further his own values.  Saving the world as he would like it to exist is a side dream he already knows is unlikely, but he wants to at least try.   ;  Just wanted to clarify some things.  A command solely for the player's convenience is the ability to choose the exact order characters will attack at the beginning of a battle.  This command is continued in the battle by utilizing character commands.The commands available to characters in battle would be abilities (all sorts of different ways of attacking or other action that may be acquired in ways just as various as the abilities themselves),  Spells (includes those spells only available to magic users),  Equipment (includes items and Dtruines), Chains (includes currently attained "combo-brackets" to perform more complex group/one-man strategies), and the "press-'over'-to-reach" commands: (press right) Brace (brace for a hit and use shield if equipped, depletes reaction gauge), (press left) Skip (allows a character who has attacked to wait for the next character to finish attacking, does not deplete reaction gauge, mostly for setting up another group strategy), and (press left and down, or just left if at a battle's start) Skip-all (choose this option to tell the game that the current character is implementing a one-man strategy, other characters will not deplete their reaction gauges).Also, I have not thought in depth about the rules for damage (more detail at http://www.gamedev.net/community/forums/ViewReply.asp?id=3456918), but certain types of attacks cancel/partially cancel each other out or enhance each other, and after a variable number of certain types of attacks are performed on a character (if they are not remedied by a qualified healing spell) the character will die.  Luckily, there are healing spells that "trump" death (providing that the character was killed while fighting in battle, thus, with this clause, I can get around the question of whether everyone can be immortal).  The player should not have too difficult a time determining the condition of characters as the sprites reflect this as close to reality as possible by the graphics.  Other hints as to a character's condition are his/her level display (Lv.), magic points (MP), reaction gauge (how fast it fills), character commands (how many are available and how effective they are), and how effective enemy attacks are against the character.Finally, I do not yet want to release spoilers on characters as there are still many more people to think up along with in-game events that shape them or vice-versa.  What I will provide you with is a concept drawing of three of the main characters.  For now, use your imaginations (comments appreciated).I have Mac OSX and Fire Fox, but no idea how to paste the picture.  Until I find out how, I guess you'll just use your imaginations.[Edited by - Glass2099 on May 27, 2009 3:08:24 PM];  Good ideas and concepts. Keep your ideas going. Do you have any maps drawn out yet? How large is your world stage will be? How many areas? Weapons, Items, Accessories, Armor, Transportation, Hidden areas/locations if any? AFter this story ends will there be a continuation? Who will live and who will die? You probably already thought of these concepts and ideas. Hope to chat with you some time on messenger or something. Pm M eif you want to chat.Ghostknight.   ;  Hey Glass,I really like this idea! I am also a big fan of Final Fantasy and story driven games and this one appeals to me a lot. If you need any help with some of the idea concepts for story/characters/levels, just send a PM my way. Keep up the good work!Cheers,James   ;  First off, I do not believe these details are too revealing of WAYR's mystique, so here is the message I sent to Ghostknight:Thanks very much for your questions.  To answer your first question, no I do not have any specific maps drawn up on paper or otherwise,yet, but I do have a few ideas in my head.  There is, of course, Canton's home village, a "tributary" of The Kingdoms with a main market square surrounded by a village gate of large wooden beams and animal skins.  There are some ghettos and more luxurious apartments, a general store with groceries, medicines, and some insignificant items like magical seals and whisper seals (only three are purchased at the beginning by the three children as a plot device, and though they are broken to deliver a message over the WEN the voice of the user heals them.  Also, the smooth surface of the seal allows one to carve the symbol of another's onto their own to be able to contact them), an informal village hall (because although the tributaries are rarely noticed by The Kingdoms outside of taxes and the draft, they will step in if any tributary tries to make a formal government), the gate guard house, and an armorer (does not make Dtruines but regular armor and swords collectively called "Interpretations" for being non-magical copies of or what the lowborn armorer thinks  to be copies of Dtruines made of common materials at hand), who requires a license fee (to cover any damage costs the armorer is billed by The Kingdoms for harm caused by their creations, which They have unknown ways of tracking) in addition to the cost of an Interpretation.  The rest of the tributary has some rural shanty houses and large agricultural facility plants.  No church other than the central one of The Kingdoms can be erected without threats of idolatry (as all others would be viewed as an item of personal worship), though there are only a few other religions in Drift that worship idols to base the dislike of this practice off of. The Kingdoms themselves are four closely positioned blocks in the center of the tributaries.  They have massive stone and metal walls that give them their block appearance.  They span several thousand miles and extend up into the sky several thousand feet.  At the center of the blocks is a cross-shaped building with prongs that exceed the expanse of the blocks, jutting out from them.  This squat but massive building is the Church of Goddess, which is actually the most pious entity within The Kingdoms, but they continues the masquerade that Dtruines are given directly by Goddess by holding "knightings" where soldiers and leaders are presented with new Dtruines at an altar where they appear from flashes of lightning, but this is nothing more than magical trickery by another's Dtruine.  The other major territory of The Kingdoms is a large valley in between two mountain ranges that open to what is considered the "face" (shown by a large depiction of The Kingdom's coat of arms, a square with humped sides, corners that are actually diagonally pointed squares themselves, and four overlapping crowns in the center) of the blocks just over a large hill that can just be glimpsed on the horizon from atop the massive walls.  This is the Glorious Bounty, on which the nameless war is fought between the four states.  Inside the blocks everything (good and bad) that is outside exists on a grander scale.An area that is not known by most in The Kingdoms is the in-actual end of Drift.  This area can only be reached by a chosen few with a powerful mind-link (remember how I said rarely only a few thoughts ever cross multiple consciousness).  The current secretly held captive "Empathers" are descendants of the original group that discovered SWORD through their link and helped those leaders who would founded Them (Kingdoms) reach the in-actual end where SWORD is stabbed into the ground.  Empathers are able to teleport work and research crews to the site (a parallel dimension) by forming a ring around them and focusing on merging the bodies (in actuality a physical realm manifestation of consciousness) of the travelers and themselves into the in-actual end of Drift.  On site stands Sword.  What can be described as its handle begins just below the clouds and extends up forever into endless clouds, where upper-stratus research and materials mining is conducted.  At its base is a cavernous expanse from centuries of digging where SWORD's blade extends down forever.  At SWORD's face is what appears to be a massive black suit of armor with a single-horned helmet and arms that extend up into the sky and come back down from the clouds with unarmored marble-like pale green wrists and feminine human hands that grasp the handle of SWORD ("The Hands of Goddess").  The cutting-edge of SWORD extends back from the face like a butcher's knife, and although it tappers as if suggesting a sharp edge at the end, it too never ends.  This last part creates two sides of Drift that extend on forever, only meeting in front of SWORD.  A few miles in front of sword is an infinitely tall rough rock wall that cannot be penetrated, or even scratched. These two features of the terrain have been debated to be illusions as one can only proceed about 10 miles in any unoccupied direction before hitting an invisible wall.  For this reason there are only some facilities on-site (including a large amount of construction crew scaffolding for the easy travel of laborers around and inside SWORD).  Dtruines are mainly manufactured in far away massive hidden factories around "mainland" Drift. EDIT:  In an earlier post I mentioned that SWORD was seraph-like.  For anyone unfamiliar with The Book of Isaiah in The Bible, seraphim (pl.) are described as having two wings covering their feat, two covering their faces, and two that they used to fly.  In SWORD's case, there is a shield covering its feet with a pair of wings displayed on the shield, there are wing-like structures on the jaw of the helmet that flare up above the head, and the last pair are actual wings (though they are still part of the armor) that join to the armor at the neck and proceed behind the shoulders as if extended for flight.  Leaving this unmentioned would take a lot out of SWORD's grandeur. Far outside of The Kingdoms are little hamlets that are self-governing, some with their own religions (wide-spread or limited to that village), or just groupings of nobodies, some without knowledge of Them.  Elsewhere there are tiny villages with control over large areas known as city states and other places have comparatively large stone pavilions and surrounding villages (they usually call themselves empires or Kingdoms but only a few know of the far-off The Kingdoms).  The Carter Daulous Army is a massive caravan that is always in motion, so one may have to look around to find them.Other features include some specific forests, small lagoons to massive lakes, long rivers, massive mountain ranges, but mostly massive rolling plains (like all the adjectives and cliched RPG environments so far?).  There are caves, but they are surprisingly far between and many are naturally concealed.  The purpose of the caves is not to be treasure houses (rarely will you find anything of interest as someone putting their treasures in an open cave is just stupid) but to be safe places to sleep.  You'll find your character's more effective in combat if they can rest safely without the game's only random encounters (most battles happen a la Chrono Trigger) in the middle of the night.  One comment I would like either Ari or Canton to make along the way is that they haven't seen any snow or lava or poison swamps along the way, the other responding that "Those things only exist in spells, idiot."I am not sure how large the playable world of Drift will be or how many areas because a lot of that would have to be discussed with a programmer, depending on how much effort would be put toward the project.Thanks for reading and your comments, and there will be more later.What I would like to talk about in this post is another main character I believe would make a strong addition to WAYR.  Her name is Rykes Childess, and she is most comparable to Anya of Code Geass (though Rykes plays a much more dynamic part in my story than Anya did in CG).  Rykes serves a/n friendly/antagonistic role in the story.  She and Shira are found to be alike in that they prodigiously display qualities that are present in powerful magic users (charisma, will, intelligence, a high stress threshold) but are not magic users themselves.  The main differences between them are that Shira possesses an extraordinary spirit (the reason he may not be able to use magic is that his childhood trauma caused a dis-correlation between himself and his soul) while Rykes originally possessed a very weak soul (though having a powerful rhetorical mind decades beyond her age, she was born almost completely without emotion), and Shira is considered a bit of a deviant due to his constant efforts to turn The Kingdoms toward an anti-violence role from inside Their own military while Rykes is more pliable to Their motivations, which mirror her own motivation to eliminate magic that cannot be controlled (not just Naturals but magic users in general).Rykes appears in-game and claims to be 9 going on 10-years old, but many of the elderly seem to remember her or someone like her at the head of the military way back in their youth.  At most times she is a very loud and adamantly friendly person (due to some of the secret work that has been done on her spirit so that she can use Dtruines), but on the battlefield she is like an evil fiend, especially when she knows she is in the presence of non-military sanctioned magic users and even more so around Naturals.  She is probably the most powerful non-Natural and Dtruine combat specialist currently in existence, and, as a result, she is the head of a team known as ExccsNaht ("ex-not," a grouping of ancient Driftian prefixes roughly translated to "All slated for destruction, Natural").  Besides leading ExccsNaht on and off the battlefield, Rykes serves as the prime interrogator for the team, meaning she enters into the lives of magic users and those harboring Naturals in order to see if they can be made useful to Them (The Kingdoms are usually meant when I use capitalized indirect nouns) or if they should be eliminated.  In performing this function she will dress casually in a very girlish care-free outfit to lull her unknowing captives into a state of false security, which is furthered by the genuine lighter side of her personality and her charisma.  On the battlefield she is armed to the teeth with heavy armor and "limitless spear" Dtruines (they are Drift's equivalent to firearms because I always thought of a gun just as a way to stab someone from a great distance at high velocity).  Even without Dtruines her massive soul (which keeps her in an almost constant state of Euphoria) and years of hand-to-hand combat experience grant her inhuman destructive capability.The last note is on her relation to the main characters in-game.  She first comes in among them near the end of the early part of the game performing her covert interrogator function.  The party eventually learns about her true intentions and manage to escape her.  She is fought against and with a few times after this event and just before her determining event in the story.  During this time the party and she begin to gain a form of mutual respect for each other after piecing together their respective backstories throughout the game.  When Rykes' determining event arrives, the party can either choose to beg her to join/accept her into the party (depending on your total interactions with her before this event), or the party will rely on Canton's use of the Dimension Dtruine (which allows one with powerful magic to manifest it in the physical realm greatly enhanced but only for a limited amount of use before complete degeneration) to avert what would have been a world-changing conflict.  The consequences of choosing either action is that Rykes will be in your party from now on (though she willingly surrenders her special equipment and status after the conflict is averted), or you can choose to let Canton wield the god-like power of the Dimension Dtruine for a short time (you will not get another chance to recruit Rykes, and you may have to fight-her-to-the-death-style sometime in the future).That's all for now, but I can't wait for more comments and any ideas you might have![Edited by - Glass2099 on June 3, 2009 1:25:17 PM];  I like the sound of a "limitless" area for the world as this would mean uncountable possibilities to happen including addition of people never heard of in one section of the plane, yet heroes (or villains) from another area. The definition of SWORD is very intriguing, it gives it the feel that it really is from a divine being and was definitely not created by man. Also the remark from one of the character about the lack of "typical fantasy" terrain shows that the characters have really been suppressed by The Kingdoms and that maybe there is those things out there, they just don't believe it to be true(that's what I got from it anyway).The Empathers idea gives the game more history and depth, and a way to explain why and where the Dtruines are coming from and how. Also this new character would make a fine addition to your story as most stories have an enemy, that although they loath each other (or are infatuated with them?), have a high level of respect for each other and have a secret rivalry bond. By giving Canton a power that is rarely used and very powerful yet hard to control would set him out from the crowd as a unique person, and would give the player something to ponder like "Why can't everyone use this power?".   ;  Thanks for the thoughts Spiderninja.  To clarify your interpretation of the "fantasy terrain" comment, I meant this as more of a breaking the fourth wall joke (when used correctly a B4W joke, I feel, can lighten the mode of plot segments that may seem tense or taking themselves too seriously) because some spells are manifested as a temporary alteration of terrain that has never been seen naturally, but I like your idea of TK's suppression of "wonder" and keeping the generalization that no matter how far one looks Drift will always be a never-ending golden fields, mountains, water bodies, and forrest.  This sort of infers the statement, "Everywhere you look nothing will be any better or worse than it is here, so why not just stay?"Other villains, completely unrelated and unawares of TKs, will be present in other lands, of course, but only for major story impacts on the characters (I am not a big fan of petty, completely nothing to do with the story sidequests) showing the corruptions of power or lack of it and different types of villainy or even good.As for Canton's unique powers, I would like to leave this with a cryptic message (concerning why he is able to command the Dimension Dtruine).  Canton, for being such an "insignificant person" in the chain of fate, he possesses uncanny magical power for one who is not a Natural.  Also, the DD may not appear to be much, a rather large black necklace-like object with armor plated diamond shaped chain links that wrap around Canton's right arm and hangs about a foot and a half down from between his thumb and forefinger with a centerpiece that looks sort of like a large cracked padlock, but this is only a little bit of it that is seen as the rest will be revealed to the party not too long after the DD breaks.Concerning the special ability Canton develops, of his own invention I might add, closer to the games conclusion, he is the only one who can perform this ability for the same "insignificance" that allowed him to wield the DD.  This involves certain rituals that he will make with the Four Great Negatives (four monstrous beings, not considered great or special in any way in their own time, that existed outside Goddess but were consumed at the time of her genesis) as he comes to better understand the negative beings (exclusively known to humans as monsters).  The final outcome of these rituals will allow Canton to manifest spells to greater strategic advantage than the DD ever could have, but the ability will come at a time when it is sorely needed to conclude the game.Thanks again for the reply, and to anyone else out there, ideas and comments to help clarify my abstractions are welcome.  Remember, asking questions is healthy.   