   If LOTR was written by someone else
  Thought I should share this with you all. The whole story is here, but the basic idea is that someone asked in a forum what LOTR would have sounded like if someone else had written it. What followed was pretty hilarious. There are a ton of them on that page, and I found the following C++ version pretty good:quote: class Ring{friend class Sauron;public:bool Wear(Person& theRingBearer) {theRingBearer.TurnInvisible();return mWraithList.Alert(theRingBearer);}bool Rule(PersonList& themAll);bool Find(PersonList& themAll);bool Bring(PersonList& themAll));bool Bind(PersonList& them, Darkness& theDarkness);const string Heat() const { return mInscription; }private:Ring() {};~Ring() {delete gSauron;gThirdAge.End();gFourthAge.Begin();}list mWraithList;string mInscription;};typedef Ring Precious;Enjoy! 
  I think the Douglass Adams ones are pretty good.  But none of them match his writing style perfectly.   ;  I guess they didn''t use Terry Brooks because his Shannara series is basically his verion of the books. At least that''s what it seemed like when I read the first book in the series. ;  aww that''s cute   ------------------------------------------------------------TimothyBarnes.net loves you | Sign it or sign with Hitler ;  I like the Dr Seuss ones:quote:"Gandalf, Gandalf! Take the ring!I am too small to carry this thing!" "I can not, will not hold the One.You have a slim chance, but I have none.I will not take it on a boat,I will not take it across a moat.I cannot take it under Moria,that''s one thing I can''t do for ya.I would not bring it into Mordor,I would not make it to the border."  Yes... VB6 is here to steal your minds. Very slowly. ;  The Michael Moorcock one was pretty good:Michael Moorcock: End of Return of the King. Frodo then took the One Ring himself and slipped it upon his finger. A crazed and hellish look came upon his face as he gazed upon Sam."Mr. Frodo, destroy the ring!""Never you sad fool! I have the power I need, almost. If you would stand against me I will strike you low as well.""All right, Mr. Frodo, it pains me to say it but, if you think you mustslay me if you will."Frodo drew Sting which had become black and rune-covered.Sting howled in hunger as Frodo plunged it into Sam''s chest."Sweet God! The pain!" Sam cried before slumping forward.Removing the blade from Sam''s body the blade turned on Frodo and ran him through."Sting!" he breathed before feeling his soul slip from his mortalframe.Gollum sprang forth from the darkness and let out a smallcry as Sting impaled him as well.Sting''s from twisted into a dark and hellish shape, vaguely resembling that of a man.Plucking the One Ring from Frodo''s finger the beast cast a glancetoward Minas Morgul and the heart of a Sauron''s realm and laughed."I was thousand times more evil than thou!" it said and flew off into the night with it''s new found prize. ;  And Michael Moorcock was in Hawkwind for a bit... what a guy!    "Most people think, great God will come from the sky, take away everything, and make everybody feel high" - Bob Marley ;  Wasn''t Hawkwind on of the Champions Eternal?Wait, that was Hawkmoon...I liked the Corum and Elric ones the best. ;  the first Heinlein one was good, but the second one was only marginal. ;  Hawkwind was named after Nick Turner''s nickname, because he had a nose "like a hawk''s" and passed wind frequently.Also, Lemmy was a member until he got kicked out for taking speed across the Canadian border and Ginger Baker (drummer from Cream) was in them for a couple of albums.  "Most people think, great God will come from the sky, take away everything, and make everybody feel high" - Bob Marley 