   Synopsis Critique Thread
  Anyone who has a synopsis they would like critiqued may post it here.  Please state the purpose of the synopsis (as a pre-writing exercise or sales tool) and your artistic goals for the story.  If you post a synopsis you obligate yourself to critique at least 4 other people's synopses (unless there aren't that many posted).I'm not sure if I'll post one - I have several that I would like a critique on, but I think they're all erotica.  A synopsis is never going to be more than R-rated due to the format, but still it's not really appropriate to the purpose of this thread, which is public critique of the contents of the synopses.  Hmm, maybe I can post the one for heartsnare, it's more of a romantic comedy than actual erotica, but that's one of the few I've already gotten feedback on...  *ponders*   
Synopsis summarizes, Teaser attractsSynopsis: Summarizes the story to save timeo Factualo Names the key characterso Shows the conflictso Shows the endingo Shows events in the same order as in the storyo Contains only information presented in the storyo Does not have dialogs or depict sceneso Does not interpret the meaning of the storyTeaser: Introduce the drama of a conflict to attract audienceo Dramatizedo May not name the characterso Shows the conflictso May omit the ending or resolutiono May show events in any ordero May contain information not presented in the storyo May include dialogs and sceneso May interpret the meaning of the storySynopsisEntry for critique:The Eye of Storm (2000)After retrieving a weapon prototype stolen by the resistant forces, ghost pilot Rosefinch escapes from a refugee spaceship and crash-lands on a deserted planet surrounded by a storm. She is rescued by a damaged medical cyborg, Ilari, and a camera ball abandoned by an expedition team. Rosefinch intends to return the prototype to base, but the it has hatched as a baby dragon and affiliates itself with Ilari, who has named it Rafael.To move Rafael, Rosefinch exhausts all other options but to find the lost expedition in order to relieve Ilari from her post. The three follows the path of the expedition to a mysterious cave where memories, fears and regrets are reflected to themselves. Rosefinch is reminded of the lives she took in order to save her brother, and she is about to destroy the lives of Ilari and Rafael once they reach base. Ilari remembers that she was in the cave when the expedition crew destroyed itself by their ambition. Rafael learns that it is a weapon developed to seize control of Singularity, but it does not understand the meaning.When they exit the cave, Ilari finds comfort with Rafael seeing that it is unaffected. Ilari wants to complete Rosefinch's plan to bring Rafael back to its kinds, hiding from it the detail that they will become separated. Rosefinch wants to free Ilari and Rafael from the conflict. They arrive at an abandoned but automated wheat field where Rafael sees a flock of birds and learns to fly. They are detected by the force staging for an attack. Rafael is captured, armed, and subjugated to neutralize Singularity's shell with itself. Rafael realizes that Ilari let it go. During the attack, Rafael becomes derranged and attacks both the shell and the attacking force. Rosefinch realizes that the memory of her brother is implanted and decides to save Ilari and Rafael. Rosefinch escapes and flies Ilari to Rafael. In the meantime, the camera ball finds the interface of Singularity in the cave and expresses distaste as it watches the shell fires to destroy Rafael and Ilari together. Ilari finds herself in a field. Rafael flies down and brings her to the sky.[Edited by - Wai on May 12, 2010 5:21:49 PM]