   They should call love a season...
  Praise or bash, I don't care In love again...  by Crispy    My heart is pierced with a potent arrow,one of solitude and love;As I confided in the supersonic sparrowwith an evil grin and looks of dove.I expect now every minute to inflict me pain,and every second seem like hours;Every heartbeat to impale my veinswith hail that only falls in showers.Gloss from eyes will fade and rust's my seeing,till my face is but a sketch;A grim reminder of my prior being,one that took me years to etch...   edit: fixed "freaking"edit 2: damn Mozilla - hehe"Finishing in second place, simply means you are the first loser." - PouyaCat  [edited by - Crispy on February 9, 2004 4:36:20 AM][edited by - Crispy on February 9, 2004 4:37:01 AM]
  It's good, but it would be better if you chose a more "poetic" word than "freaking" at the beginning...    [edited by - cOWsaReNotEVil on February 8, 2004 6:12:01 PM];  We were required to write a "love note" or poem in french class. Masterg did one too. Feel free to use Babelfish if you don't know any french.A Love Poem  Les roses sont rougeLes violets sont bleuJ'aimes les pommes-de-terresETOI!?!?  - CD   Brought to you by Code_Dark [edited by - Code_Dark on February 8, 2004 6:30:08 PM];  get ch00r freaky freak on!! ;  yaye~ ;  Yeah, change the word "freaking." Other than that, it sounds ok.   "Tell me who's the real patriots The Archie Bunker slobs waving flags Or the people with the guts to work For some real change?" -- Dead Kennedys   [edited by - Mscgamer on February 8, 2004 6:31:27 PM];  Pretty nice...I''m writing something for my ESL class... tought you guys could give some input... Bear in mind that I am no poet, even in my first language so... bash (I''d especially like comments on vocabulary and stuff, tough I want it to sound a bit archaicLate in this day, soon in this mess; Dull mood foray, trough weariness.But unlike him, Sleep is awake; He shall not laze, for his own sake.Bearing no cuts, yet a few scars; Some empty dreams wandering afar.Burden the firsts, seconds despair; He’s suffered them more than his share.Sitting, still, here, without a blink; Restless in mind, paper, and ink.Thought of morrow flashes trough him; A light shines there, although quite dim.He should lie down, for his own sake…;  love is a season.  Isn''t it called "spring"?;  I think it''s a great poem!I disagree that you should get rid of "freaking". You should use whatever language you think best expresses yourself.(just be warned that other people have different feelings than you do towards certain words. And a lot of people would probably associate "freaking" with someone juvenile or immature. But screw them if they don''t understand your art!) ;  a season minus the once a month the woman has P.M.S.    