   The Fictional Fifteen
Forbes magazine is a US-based financial newsletter that keeps track of market trends and personal finance. Every year they release three major lists: the Forbes 500 (the top 500 companies), the Forbes 400 (the wealthiest 400 people in the world), and the Fictional Fifteen -- the top fifteen fictional characters ranked by net worth. It's good for a laugh, if nothing else.For your viewing pleasure, this year's Fictional 15 are:15.) Lucius Malfoy (in-depth profile)14.) Cruella de Vil13.) Lara Croft12.) Ebenezer Scrooge11.) Arthur Bach10.) Willy Wonka9.) Thurston Howell III8.) Bruce Wayne (in-depth profile)7.) Jed Clampett6.) Scrooge McDuck5.) C. Montgomery Burns (in-depth profile)4.) Lex Luthor (in-depth profile)3.) Richie Rich2.) Oliver "Daddy" Warbucks1.) Santa Claus (in-depth profile)Happy reading. The profiles are especially fun, like this snippet from Lucius Malfoy's:Quote:But instead, Malfoy has prospered. The ivory-haired devil’s fortune increased nearly 30% over the last year. It's a major vindication for the 51-year-old wizard, and an indication that Malfoy's portfolio--and his mission to destroy Harry Potter--still has lots of life left in it. Much of Malfoy's gain can be attributed to surging commodities markets. The price of gold is at its highest level since 1987, up 16% since January alone. Malfoy's stores of gold galleons and silver sickles--among the purest mintings of those metals known--have appreciated significantly. His stock portfolio has also fared well. Most wizards eschew "Muggle" markets, preferring to invest in Goblin mutual funds or Niffler futures. But Malfoy bucks the trend, holding shares in a variety of companies, including Wal-Mart Stores (nyse: WMT - news - people ), Microsoft (nasdaq: MSFT - news - people ) and Halliburton (nyse: HAL - news - people ). "I am constantly on the alert for opportunities to exploit you filthy Muggles," he told us nearly seven years ago (see: “Malfoy’s Malicious Methods” Forbes, Mar. 21, 1999). 
Quote:Original post by kSquared1.) Santa Claus (in-depth profile)Fictional? WTF do they mean by fictional?!   ;  I'm a bit dismayed that the article doesn't explain how Santa Claus got to be so fabulously wealthy. What exactly does he do to make enough money to counter giving away so many toys? The venison market can't be that huge. Does he have some sort of pay-back scheme with chimney manufacturers? Or does he have some sort of process that converts nuclear waste into teddy bears? I expected more in-depth analysis from Forbes.   ;  15.) Lucius Malfoy (in-depth profile) - Villain14.) Cruella de Vil - Villain13.) Lara Croft - Hero12.) Ebenezer Scrooge - Villain11.) Arthur Bach - Hero10.) Willy Wonka - Hero9.) Thurston Howell III - Villain8.) Bruce Wayne (in-depth profile) - Hero7.) Jed Clampett - Hero6.) Scrooge McDuck - Villain5.) C. Montgomery Burns (in-depth profile) - Villain4.) Lex Luthor (in-depth profile) - Villain3.) Richie Rich - Hero2.) Oliver "Daddy" Warbucks - Hero1.) Santa Claus (in-depth profile) - HeroHm, only 7 villains. It would seem that Forbes is biased. And before anyone argues with me that Thurston Howell isn't a villain, I seem to recall a hand full of Gilligan episodes where the Howells put their interests ahead of the group interest in ways that kept them all stuck on the island. So he's more of a villain than a hero. And while Scrooge may have come to see the light by the end of the story, his name remains a metaphor for mean spiritedness. And Arthur Bach isn't really a hero or a villain, but since he's a sympathetic character, I classified him as a hero. ;Quote:Original post by LessBreadHm, only 7 villains. It would seem that Forbes is biased.I can't believe you listed Scrooge McDuck as a villain! He saved the world from the dastardly Merlock! Or don't you remember DuckTales: Treasure of the Lost Lamp?And you gave Willy Wonka a free pass as a hero? The man is a shyster, profiting directly from the US epidemic of childhood obesity while performing hand-wavy no-comment dismissals to his critics. And what's the deal with those factory workers? Those working conditions can't possibly be OSHA-approved.On another note, I had a bet with another forum member (who shall remain nameless) that you'd make a politically inclined commentary on this thread within 24 hours. A certain someone now owes me a $20 gift certificate to Amazon Jelly Belly. So LessBread, any books jelly bean flavors you'd care to purchase for $10 or less? [wink](edit: "Forbes is biased." is in dispute as a politically inclined commentary. Awaiting resolution from independent third party.)   ;  Hmmm, I would have figured Scrooge McDuck had more money than that.   ;Quote:Original post by Trapper ZoidI'm a bit dismayed that the article doesn't explain how Santa Claus got to be so fabulously wealthy. What exactly does he do to make enough money to counter giving away so many toys? The venison market can't be that huge. Does he have some sort of pay-back scheme with chimney manufacturers? Or does he have some sort of process that converts nuclear waste into teddy bears? I expected more in-depth analysis from Forbes.No no you've got it all wrong. Santa ran out of money after putting it all into dot-coms. The game I'm working on at the moment explains all this - on christmas eve he flies in his sleigh with his army of pirate elves, who board any cargo planes they come across. They take the cargo and pass it off as presents, removing FedEx packaging first of course. And that's the truth.   ;Quote:Original post by kSquaredI can't believe you listed Scrooge McDuck as a villain! He saved the world from the dastardly Merlock! Or don't you remember DuckTales: Treasure of the Lost Lamp?Villain by virtue of his namesake, Ebenezer Scrooge. Quote:Original post by kSquaredAnd you gave Willy Wonka a free pass as a hero? The man is a shyster, profiting directly from the US epidemic of childhood obesity while performing hand-wavy no-comment dismissals to his critics. And what's the deal with those factory workers? Those working conditions can't possibly be OSHA-approved.Childhood obesity wasn't the problem back in the early 1970's that it is today. And the Oompa Loompas are so happy to work for Wonka that they break into song at the drop of a hat. If Wonka was a harsh task master, he wouldn't allow that now would he? And it always seemed to me that Wonka's factory was located in Europe, beyond OSHA's jurisdiction. Quote:Original post by kSquaredOn another note, I had a bet with another forum member (who shall remain nameless) that you'd make a politically inclined commentary on this thread within 24 hours. A certain someone now owes me a $20 gift certificate to Amazon Jelly Belly. So LessBread, any books jelly bean flavors you'd care to purchase for $10 or less? [wink]Are you suggesting a payback of some kind? How corrupt!!! [smile]Quote:Original post by kSquared(edit: "Forbes is biased." is in dispute as a politically inclined commentary. Awaiting resolution from independent third party.)Is it political to point out the obvious? It's no secret that Forbes has a point of view. Would anybody read it if it didn't? ;  The issue, Rixter, if you remember correctly, is that Scrooge has all his wealth in gold coinage, stored in a money tower for him to swim in.  You see, he didn't actually invest in those fancy-schmancy gold-based index investments, and thus the actual value of his estate is caught up in gold coinage and the real-estate market (which, I would argue, would not be profitiable in the neighborhood he lives in with those poor police officers and the Beagle Boys).  Nor does he work anymore, and with no mention of owning any stocks, we can assume he does not necessarily have any more source of income (perhaps he ventures independent achaelogical quests, who knows?)  Thus, his estate has reached a plateau, and probably will remain that way unless the value of gold drastically increases, which probably won't happen.  And one can assume he retired over 20 years ago (being around 80), and probably, though a Scrooge, has squandered much of his money on funding trips around the world, having a pilot, a nany, four grand-children, a butler, and generally keeping his estate in good affairs, and for that matter, safe.Thus, I find no surprise in his figures.;)   ;Quote:Original post by Trapper ZoidI'm a bit dismayed that the article doesn't explain how Santa Claus got to be so fabulously wealthy. What exactly does he do to make enough money to counter giving away so many toys? The venison market can't be that huge. Does he have some sort of pay-back scheme with chimney manufacturers? Or does he have some sort of process that converts nuclear waste into teddy bears? I expected more in-depth analysis from Forbes.If you consider his total worth - i.e. not just money, but property value as well - then he's gotta be pretty high up there, owning an organisation like his. Production systems that can create a billion SKUs per year, coupled with a logistics and distribution system that can handle that billion SKUs in one night, and throw in a fantastic brand... if he wanted to liquidate all that, to sell it off, he'd easily make this list.   