   How confident are you?
  I was talking to the lab admin at my college today about the freshmen of coming year, and that most of them looked like the typical IT gym: Looking away when talking, shoulders hanging forward, talking about computer games(and playing them in the lab) and talking about their anime series. Now, there is nothing wrong this. If this is what their boat floats, and they're happy with it, no problem there.I told the lab admin I was like that 8 years ago. Completely without confidence(Hence the hanging shoulders and looking away when talking). At some point, I decided I no longer wanted to be like that and that I was going to do something about it. From there, I worked myself up from a silent insecure boy into a very communicative young man with confidence.But, I was curious as to how the rest of GDNet feels? Do you feel insecure all the time about your looks or the way to come over to other people? Or do you have the "I AM THE ALPHA MALE" attitude?Toolmaker   
  Yeah, used to be like that as well -- and then I too decided I didn't want to be like that.  I'm getting better, but still I'm certainly far away from being an alpha male. [grin]  I don't even want to be one -- I quite like my quiet personality and I know poeple who can easily melt into the background, yet they can be very talkative when they want to.I guess I should pick up some hobbies though -- some non-computer ones. :D  I must be very boring while chatting with someone as I do not want to talk about computers with poeple who aren't interested in them.   ;  I'm fairly confident, I think. If you don't mind, that is.   ;  I generally don't like looking into people's eyes. Has nothing to do with confidence - I'm a bit of a domineering personality. I've never lacked for confidence, though I was a bit of a shy child (elaboration: if called upon to do something, I'd do it and do it well, but I wasn't a showboat and didn't volunteer).My problem is that I'm elitist, dismissive and a bit of an asshole. *shrug*   ;  Whats wrong with talking about games and anime?   ;  I tend to be the quiet kind of guy, I often don't look people in the eyes, and my shoulders are hanging. This is mostly because I'm lazy and don't care. When I'm in a situation where I have to look active and interested (job interviews, being a teacher assistant, being with my girlfriend), or when I am being wronged or someone I care about is making a mistake, I tend to be very assertive and firm. I guess the "don't care" part also has perks, since I am seldom, if ever, stressed out or afraid.Sometime around my twentieth birthday, I realized that the pride you get out of trying something, whatever it is, always outwights the shame of failing. So I keep trying :)   ;  i'd say i'm confident but a geek at the same time. i've been attempting to look at people when talking to them, while also trying to develop the social skills needed to explain what i'm doing at work without going over people's heads.however while i have the habits of a geek i am quite confident. i don't think not looking at people while talking is necessarily a lack of confidence but may also just be a lacking social skill. meaning the person could still be confident but exhibit the mannerisms you've mentioned.   ;Quote:Original post by SteadtlerWhats wrong with talking about games and anime?If you read my post all the way through, you would have seen that there is nothing  wrong with it. I myself try to walk up straight(As it radiates more confidence and I noticed that people will get more out of my way than when I let my shoulders hang. If I let em hang, certain type of people tend to bump into me), look people into the eyes when speakign to them, etc.I started this whole deal with "I don't like myself / body" and then continued to work on each part I didn't like. Hanging shoulders, looking away from people, etc. Most of those things are in a state that I like em. I'm also working out in the gym, growing quite some muscle(and I love it). Only trouble I still have is that I still hesitate when I see a nice girl in the train/tram/etc. and just want to do some fluff talk to kill. How do you guys manage with that?Toolmaker   ;Quote:Original post by ToolmakerOnly trouble I still have is that I still hesitate when I see a nice girl in the train/tram/etc. and just want to do some fluff talk to kill. How do you guys manage with that?ToolmakerThat part is actually easy. When I want to talk to people, I adopt the "everything in life is so fucking hillarious" mentality. If people know you're talking to them because you're bored, there's nothing to get defensive about. Talking to people's not hard, but people assume that because you're choosing not to talk to anyone because you don't feel like you have to makes you anti-social.(or shy);  I consider myself to be very confident, in that I believe in myself and know that I'm good at what I can do, and can accomplish anything I want to if I really put my mind, time, and effort into it.  Unfortunately, I'm also extremely apathetic about most things, which translates into appearing shy or self-conscious.  I'm not good at small talk because I often have trouble feigning interest in people (unless of course they're my family or I really care about them), and I really don't talk much unless I have something I need to say.  This has also had a negative impact in school, since I do very well in classes I'm interested in but very poorly in classes I'm required to take but really don't care for.The bottom line is that if I don't care for or have an interest in something, I have a very difficult time putting any sort of time or effort into it, even in cases where it's absolutely required (such as schoolwork).  It's not something I'm very proud of but it's something I'm working on continually.   